Is Cheating The BEST Way to Tell Your Partner You're Unhappy? | Joe Budden Explains
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- čas přidán 23. 11. 2022
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Communicate or Leave. That's what it going to lead to eventually if you don't.
Cheating isn't the best way by far. I've also been in a few relationships where my partner has emotionally checked out, anytime I've tried to speak on it I get shut down or belittled, and leaving isnt ideal either. (years of history or shared bills have been factors.)
I've learned the best option is just to leave. At 32 no woman I've sat down to talk to about issues in a calm, mature manner has ever been receptive. It generally turns into them getting offended and attacking me personally for voicing my issues.
🤔I mean, you could just tell her🤨
Cheating is absolutely worst way...
Just communicate work things out or leave don't cheat
Ice is the same guy that made a chick his screensaver after messing around for 2 weeks 😂😂😂
Imma say this. I cheated.
I wanted to talk about my feeling. We were having sex less and less, when i wanted to take her on dates she try to invite friends, shes always tired or busy. I told her i wanted to talk about what im feeling and she said "You just want sex" And i said dont dumb down my feelings like that. this is important to me. Ive had my fair share of fuck ups and when she vented her feelings I corrected my behaviors. But when it was switched, she was highly dismissive. She didnt wanna talk.
So the question is "Why not break up if youre so unhappy"
Because while im unhappy i also can acknowledge throughout my life she also is capable of making me MOST happy. And i wasnt willing to lose that. At the sametime I felt incompetent and wanted someone to treat me how i wish she would. So I started projecting my girl onto this fling.
AFTER i had sex with the fling and my girl found out. She through a fit but I just said to her "Can I at least explain why. If you allow me that, you can do what you want and I wont stop you" she wanted to hear it. I brought up everything and she said "Why didnt you just telll me" Then I told her I did, but at the time you said "You only want sex" when what I wanted was you. I told her how she made me feel and I did it as a form of lashing out and building a safety net for the day you decide to leave me physically since you did that already emotionally and mentally. I knew i was going to hurt, i just didn't want to die. So I started bracing myself for the impact of the reality that you are no longer in love with me.
I cried, she cried, we held each other and to this day, we still together. She listens to my feelings, she tries, she doesnt just lay there while we have sex waiting for me to finish so she dont gotta deal with me. The sex has been amazing, the communication is amazing, the relationship is amazing. Its just unfortunate that i had to cheat to get her to actually listen to me. I tried to talk, i tried to vent...but only when i fuck another girl do i have your attention. So I say sometimes we cheat to show them how unhappy we really are...remember: I didnt leave because while she was attached to some of my darkest memories...shes also attached to ALL of my fondest memories.
Feel free to judge. ask. whatever.
You articulated that very well. I’m happy y’all are still together
You're a good writer. I hope you both are enjoying a healthy relationship.
I’m screenshoting this and sending this to my girl cause she needs to understand
@@kaywess1738 it took alot of trust building again. What I did was wrong and I admitted that to her. I also told her I'm willing to do what I must yo regain her trust. We slowly worked at it, but we honestly worked at it. And things got better. She wasn't wrong. We both were. So we both knew we needed to help heal each other.
@@Drew_HBK as I usually say. War is the byproduct of failed negotiations. Because we failed to talk...war happened
Definitely not advocating to cheat but it will definitely get her attention very loud and clear
Honestly she's likely not going to listen to anything you have to say...she'll likely flip the switch and make it about her and her feelings instead of actually working on the initial problems
This headline brazy 🤣
Just tell her that you're disgusted in her actions. It always works for me.
Title is wild lol
Shout out to ish on this segment
Simple answer NOOOOOO
0:03 bingo !
no tf. This shouldn't even be a discussion.
That's a messy fucked up, extreme way of telling your woman that you're not satisfied with her anymore by cheating on her. Don't follow Ice's advice on relationships if you value your life and mental sanity, just leads to unnecessary love & hip-hop styled arguments in the crib.
I mean how cant it be right??
I wish more men were able to communicate well. Like... If there's something I'm lacking, I'd want to know. I'd want YOU to tell me. Not your homeboy or brother or mom. I definitely don't want to find out by going through your phone safe seeing you vent to other women about me. TELL ME. Or move along and let me love a man who knows how to love me.
If ALL women had this mindset it would be more flourishing relationships....thats why this segment was dope...bc on the flip side like you just said you would want your man to tell you....but like most of the guys are saying here when we have actually tried/communicated what's up it's immediate defense or emotion involved n after that the convo is going nowhere....just need 2 real adults ready to have a real conversation
Imagine this ever working
I can’t speak on you as an individual. But by and large when men express their feelings women perceive it as a personal attack. I’ve had several women say what you’re saying to me. Then when I open up and express myself they’re offended by my emotions. Instead of addressing how they’ve made me feel, the narrative becomes about offending them. The feelings of the men are never actually addressed. I wish it wasn’t the truth but y’all understand cheating more.
I understand everything you guys are saying. Those women aren't me, so you can't tell me what your experience with me would be until you actually have it. 😘💯
Hell naw cheating is the worst way unless she doesn't understand that you moved on which means moved out and away. Then it's not cheating at all. Communication is key.
Yes. 100%
I want to communicate better and hope its reciprocated but in honestly I just start becoming distant while hanging around here and there for sex til eventually she gets tired and leave lmao I ain't shit
Haven’t watched the video yet but this has to be the dumbest question asked
Joe was at starletts last night 😂😂
Yeah it's communication. If the other half acts like they don't understand or believe then do you...ultimately you hope to have figured that out...otherwise SHE will get her lick back
Just say ur unhappy n why
Writing down issues on a white board then introducing them as a presentation is too in your face. Its insulting so I can understand your partners feelings.
Don’t cheat before you get your shit together.
Always after
🔑🗝
To majority of women they never wanna talk about it you treat your man like shit on a daily and he can't say anything without you telling him he's wrong for telling he's not feeling your bs while you in your feeling of how dare you not let me treat you like a shit.... leave or cheat. Or both
Bruh, saweetie been around the mountain scaled it been in it , point me to a mainstream rapper she hasn't slept with. She's the local bike, everyone's allowed a ride 😂
@@nhlba3301 I'd walk straight pass her too, what's the point broski?
@@nhlba3301 I don't find her attractive at all 😂 I'm not American my man
lol she wouldnt get the message any other way, so go for it.
@joebudden i just broke up w my dude. i keep repeating myself. there is no fixing this. im out.
Cheating just means ya ding-a-ling unhappy
Depends
I know it sounds crazy based on what we’re taught to believe. But based on real life experience cheating is the best way. You can show your woman a detailed PowerPoint on how she makes you unhappy and she won’t listen or she’ll find a way to turn the narrative around. It’s very rare that a woman will accept accountability if she is not tired to. It’s just their nature, our words don’t mean much to them but our actions do.