U.S. Hellfire Missiles Take Out al-Zawahiri | Pelosi Touches Down In Taiwan

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  • čas přidán 1. 08. 2022
  • President Biden announced a successful drone strike which took out a long-sought Al Qaeda target in Afghanistan, and the Chinese government threatened a litany of military actions in response to Speaker Pelosi's trip to Taiwan. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Komentáře • 2,5K

  • @stevesmith9447
    @stevesmith9447 Před rokem +1371

    Got the Kansas results - we kicked the holy shit out of anti-choice legislation despite how outrageously manipulative the ballot language was!

    • @debrahelmlinger6256
      @debrahelmlinger6256 Před rokem +114

      Yes🎉 way to go Kanas

    • @Lib-Tard
      @Lib-Tard Před rokem +107

      Let sanity prevail!

    • @arlenesecrist354
      @arlenesecrist354 Před rokem +151

      We have to have safe abortion & contraception to stop pregnancy & abortions in the 1st place . No more 10 year old raped girls having to drive to another state to get medical help.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +106

      Also, a Democrat won the Missouri primary!

    • @AmarieH216
      @AmarieH216 Před rokem +107

      So relieved! While driving back from Colorado to get to the polls, we only saw “vote yes” signs the whole way. My 18-year old son has been to every & any protest he can get to (even on July 4 in Topeka). Our young people give me hope! Kansas Voter 🌻🇺🇸

  • @stevensprunger3422
    @stevensprunger3422 Před rokem +77

    “Traitor tot”
    I like that one a lot…

  • @elizabethpeters6890
    @elizabethpeters6890 Před rokem +8

    I think "traitor tot" is the most accurate pseudonym for the former pres I've heard yet. :)

  • @krisfrederick5001
    @krisfrederick5001 Před rokem +4

    Those Chinese threats sound like dark fortune cookie messages 🥠👀

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +602

    Also, voters in Kansas have officially secured abortion rights in the state’s constitution. Thank you, Kansas 👏

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +29

      Yes, thank all the sane humans in Kansas! I read it's 76% in favor of keeping the right to an abortion & 34%; (the final count hadn't been tabulated) in favor of taking a woman's right to determine their medical decisions away. v

    • @nicholasstocker6866
      @nicholasstocker6866 Před rokem

      These anti-woman morons didn’t just lose, they got absolutely DESTROYED!

    • @Thunderchild-gz4gc
      @Thunderchild-gz4gc Před rokem

      @@virginiatyree6705 unwashed feminist who uses abortion as birth control

    • @henrymccoy7171
      @henrymccoy7171 Před rokem +4

      @@virginiatyree6705 - Umm, that's 112%. Check your math.

    • @gozzilla177
      @gozzilla177 Před rokem +14

      @@henrymccoy7171 That's how sure the state was they needed those rights they gave 110%! Lol

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +582

    Hey Stephen. Remember to thank Jon Stewart for helping veterans pass the PACT Act. The party of “Life” needed some convincing, but they pushed it through.

    • @nikobatallones
      @nikobatallones Před rokem +22

      Maybe tomorrow. Might have been too late to tape.

    • @Susweca5569
      @Susweca5569 Před rokem

      There are an awful lot of Republican veterans.. For the GOP not to pass the Pact Act is nothing short of slitting their own throats.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +69

      Between Jon Stewart and Vladimir Zelenskyy, maybe comedians are the better choices to become POTUS. Better than shitty reality TV stars who only exist to generate drama anyway.

    • @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone
      @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Před rokem

      @@gamepapa1211 I totally agree!! I love watching the scammers get their due from regular people with mad skills on CZcams. They stop these scumbags by taking their files and getting the feds going in the right direction because out government won't.

    • @anro7137
      @anro7137 Před rokem +19

      Jon Stewart 2024! Sorry Biden, but…

  • @angrydoggy9170
    @angrydoggy9170 Před rokem +35

    That hellfire missile sure ads another dimension to knife throwing.

    • @davidchrist1037
      @davidchrist1037 Před rokem

      That's not real , a HELLFIRE missle. What They use is 16 pounds
      Of TNT And Nepalm. They
      Nailed the house with two Of
      Them!! This is true of Cruises
      missle s they probably have
      35 different models of cruise

    • @tristanpaulpestano544
      @tristanpaulpestano544 Před rokem +1

      @@davidchrist1037 there's a specific after effects on various warheads. A ninja like Hellfire missiles have an effect of no burning and sliced bodies. You can see this on Soleimani.

  • @Freiheit1232
    @Freiheit1232 Před rokem +3

    Eddie Munson is a bigger hero than we thought. Killing vecna then Zawahiri? Now that’s metal.

  • @joshuacrawford9862
    @joshuacrawford9862 Před rokem +856

    The biggest story of this election night was Kansas having crazy high turnout with voters PO'd and overwhelmingly rejecting an anti-abortion measure.

    • @joshuacrawford9862
      @joshuacrawford9862 Před rokem

      In other words, Americans support abortion rights and are going to reject anti-abortion extremists in the November election. You can say "abortion is murder" as much as you want. Americans aren't buying it and don't care about that.

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing Před rokem +1

      @Alternative Headlines Oh don't worry. House Bill 1808 is a great anti-child murdering measure too. It ends future manufacture & sales of semi autos and large magazines. No doubt you oppose it if you're aware of it. Because..you know...you care about the kids _sooooo_ much.
      You reap what you sow. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You went after Roe, they went after your Murder Machines.
      Next time mind your own business.

    • @whocares2087.1
      @whocares2087.1 Před rokem

      @Alternative Headlines Republicans want children to get shot at school.

    • @tealsquare
      @tealsquare Před rokem +88

      @Alternative Headlines yeah, you know? Democracy.

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před rokem +95

      @Alternative Headlines says someone who doesn't understand that pregnancy is not an easy process to go through REGARDLESS of choice to carry a child to full term. Mother Nature can and will have the last say whether the fetus survives. It sucks, but there it is.

  • @einargs
    @einargs Před rokem +71

    When I saw that there'd been a drone strike my first question was "how many innocents did we kill this time?" so I'm super happy the answer is none.

    • @suomiapina89
      @suomiapina89 Před rokem

      But that guy was allready dead, died some time ago. This is just marketing a good image about biden and what he has done to america

    • @Jim1255783
      @Jim1255783 Před rokem +3

      Am I really so cynical to think, “Bullshit!”, at the notion of a non-exploding Hellfire missile which kills with sharp blades sticking out?

    • @Jim1255783
      @Jim1255783 Před rokem +2

      @Sean Embry That’s all well and great, Sean, but I think my cynicism still prevails; how do I convince myself to believe any of this is true, the idea of spinning blades to chop-up just one specific human leaving everyone else in the room alive, albeit probably covered with blood and body parts, seems to be too fanciful to be believable.

    • @anriaminnaar3898
      @anriaminnaar3898 Před rokem +5

      @@Jim1255783 He was alone, out on his balcony. I’m sure the balcony and doors are also destroyed, like if a car crashed into it. Shrapnel will have likely flown into the house.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem

      Shouldn't we be thinking that way every time?

  • @annemettefrederiksen7751

    CONGRATULATIONS TO KANSAS FROM DENMARK 💐🎊🎉💯 Bad asses, keep fighting and spread courage to those who has this fight coming up later. Heads high and 🤘 you are inspiration for all..

  • @stephennewton2777
    @stephennewton2777 Před rokem +36

    Nice to see a President inviting a model into the White House who doesn’t charge by the hour.

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl Před rokem +103

    "Traitor Tot" deserved a much bigger laugh.

    • @bobdobbs69
      @bobdobbs69 Před rokem +2

      "It's good...pretty, pretty, good!"

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem

      I wish it were as easy to get rid of Trumpism as it was to take out a foreign enemy!

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 Před rokem +114

    Joe gave the go ahead for a drone strike on al-Zawahiri, but I bet he won't be bragging about it the same way the former guy would...

    • @JazzATrain
      @JazzATrain Před rokem +3

      Joe is bragging big time!

    • @lauraatkinson4790
      @lauraatkinson4790 Před rokem +24

      @@JazzATrain No comparison. Biden's not calling in to CNN repeatedly to boast about it the way TFG always called Fox News. He's not holding rallies the way Trump does, just so he can hear his supporters clap and cheer for him.

    • @whocares2087.1
      @whocares2087.1 Před rokem

      Pelosi already stole the headlines, so...

    • @lauraatkinson4790
      @lauraatkinson4790 Před rokem +5

      @@whocares2087.1 Only on the conservative channels where she lives in Republican heads rent free. The rest of us can actually retain information about more than one thing at a time.

    • @FortitudineVincimus
      @FortitudineVincimus Před rokem +17

      @@JazzATrain How so? By just announcing it ONCE on national TV? 🙄

  • @Becky_Cal
    @Becky_Cal Před rokem +8

    “Real housewife of January 6” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Truer words have never been spoken!

  • @michaelswan8532
    @michaelswan8532 Před rokem +3

    Thank God we have a president who cares enough to know the details of military action, rather than pointing a fried chicken leg at the screen and saying "Blow it up"

  • @franklinshriver8441
    @franklinshriver8441 Před rokem +33

    Omg..the Mee Maw threat level caught me off guard! 🤣

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +252

    While the president greenlit Zawahiri’s permanent retirement, Donald Trump hosted a golf tournament sponsored by 9/11’s Saudi Arabia.

    • @rebeccaainslie4637
      @rebeccaainslie4637 Před rokem +26

      Pretty much says it all!

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +25

      The former guy isn't a decent human. I'm sure they had some sick burial service at his golf club for his ex. It's just weird. v

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před rokem

      A pox on the Saudi Arabian government and their heirs.

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +3

      @@Echo81Rumple83 , I did some reading & it's been happening for years; pox on their house. Since they have frequent & accepted marrying between cousins, they have the highest rates of deformities & genetic disorders. They have a special hospital to handle the issues from interbreeding. You have to dig to find that information. v

    • @lactusgalacto1174
      @lactusgalacto1174 Před rokem

      cAYMAN AL-ZAWAHIRI ‘DEAD’ - AL-QAEDA BOSS DIES FROM ASTHMA IN AFGHAN MOUNTAIN HIDEOUT, REPORTS CLAIM
      The Sun 11:52, 20 Nov 2020
      Updated: 12:55, 20 Nov 2020
      😁😁😁😁😁😁

  • @db8556
    @db8556 Před rokem +4

    On the Hellfire missiles, it's been confirmed that two Ninja R9Xs were fired, 6 sword blades each. That seems very fitting, considering the penchant for beheadings in these terrorist groups.

  • @wbaldwin666
    @wbaldwin666 Před rokem +2

    6:32 commander realizes who's a good boy

  • @ernstbtmn
    @ernstbtmn Před rokem +549

    "It nice when a President says; bring me a model.
    And he doesn't mean, a new wife..."
    ~ Stephen Colbert
    (Instant CLASSIC!)

    • @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone
      @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Před rokem +20

      I think Trump actually built his current wife, so.... But, he never does anything himself, so I'm sure someone else assembled her from the mail-order company she came from.

    • @ernstbtmn
      @ernstbtmn Před rokem +7

      @@WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone No comments.
      But um, can I have that number?
      You know, to do my own research...lol

    • @AlexandarHullRichter
      @AlexandarHullRichter Před rokem +3

      Stuff like that always seems like a low bar until someone has trouble meeting it, doesn't it?

    • @ernstbtmn
      @ernstbtmn Před rokem

      @@AlexandarHullRichter Um, could you be a bit more specific?

    • @filipdahlberg4420
      @filipdahlberg4420 Před rokem +3

      Loved this line x)

  • @ViraMotorko
    @ViraMotorko Před rokem +9

    "Therefore, I do solemnly pledge my complete and total loyalty to person, woman, man, camera. TV."

  • @2332Stephen
    @2332Stephen Před rokem +73

    The model wife joke was brilliant. Colbert has some great writers

    • @cumsalot
      @cumsalot Před rokem +2

      It was actually pretty dumb.

    • @tobiramasenju6290
      @tobiramasenju6290 Před rokem +1

      Oh boy who saw that coming another Trump had multiple wives joke. So lazy and overdone specifically on this show.

    • @2332Stephen
      @2332Stephen Před rokem

      @@tobiramasenju6290 you're missing the point.

    • @tobiramasenju6290
      @tobiramasenju6290 Před rokem

      @@2332Stephen the point is it wasn't creative at all and you have a low bar for creativity.

    • @2332Stephen
      @2332Stephen Před rokem

      @@tobiramasenju6290 I disagree...I guess what I'm trying to say is..between the jokes and colbert delivering them..it's a beautiful thing. A few times the punchlines are predictable..and alot of times you get the same type of material from these guys but whatever they're doing for laughs..it's working. The other late nights don't come close. The only one I thought was even in the conversation was Trevor Noah, and Conan o Brian.. those three have charisma.

  • @lcflngn
    @lcflngn Před rokem +17

    Louis’s face is often a mirror of mine, laughing and also kinda oh no you didn’t go there Colbert. Cracks me up. Thx for keeping things going Louis, rly nice job.

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +39

    Alex Jones is on trial, by the way. Let’s hope he profoundly suffers the consequences of his sadism.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před rokem +13

    Those fries were beautifully julienned... but man, were they overcooked!

  • @derekharris3944
    @derekharris3944 Před rokem +3

    Thank you, Stephen and team!

  • @0g0dn0
    @0g0dn0 Před rokem +5

    “I support… Eric!”
    “Well, we know which Eric he ISN’T talking about.”

  • @gamepapa1211
    @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +46

    Felt a bit disappointed Stephen didn't go for the Lipless Eric bit. "Father! Thank you for your endorsement! Now how about we celebrate it with a long overdue hug?"
    I mean, COME on man, it was RIGHT THERE!

    • @odizza1688
      @odizza1688 Před rokem

      Thanks for showing us why ur not a writer....

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +1

      @@odizza1688 thanks for showing us you don't know how to spell "you are".

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +1

      @lola type still funny.

  • @ZeddtheVHSotaku
    @ZeddtheVHSotaku Před rokem +3

    The R9x hellfire sounds like something Mr Torgue from Borderlands would make.

  • @bobbyboyd4737
    @bobbyboyd4737 Před rokem +3

    Using as seen on TV technology.
    That writer deserves a bonus!

  • @alexdasliebe5391
    @alexdasliebe5391 Před rokem +7

    Misread “Hellfire missiles take out Pelosi” walking to my fridge. Scared the 💩out of me.

  • @womanofsubstance8735
    @womanofsubstance8735 Před rokem +15

    And the rumor is that Kansas has voted to REJECT a measure that would have made it easier to restrict access to ANY abortion !!!

  • @isaac198428
    @isaac198428 Před rokem +10

    “The Real Housewife of January 6th, Kimberly Guilfoyle” … Because “ThE BeSt iS yeT tO CoMe” 🤣😂😂😅

  • @elephantchilds
    @elephantchilds Před rokem +15

    I loved how he made fun of news presenters for mis-pronouncing al-Zawahiri's name then deliberately mis-pronounced it himself all through the section. Stephen always goes that extra mile for the joke.

  • @DefinitelyNattox
    @DefinitelyNattox Před rokem +16

    This is the first time I’ve been proud of the state I live in (Kansas) in several years!

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +2

      There's good sane people everywhere. They're just not as vocal & quietly do their thing. Go Kansas. Kanas has a fascinating history. I did some reading & they were definitely against slavery. v

    • @DefinitelyNattox
      @DefinitelyNattox Před rokem +1

      @@virginiatyree6705 Kansas is definitely an interesting state! And yet we’re known for a movie that only has Kansas in it for like 15 minutes before a tornado strikes lol

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +2

      @@DefinitelyNattox , People don't read about history. The whole world has so many fascinating stories. v

    • @DefinitelyNattox
      @DefinitelyNattox Před rokem

      @@virginiatyree6705 Indeed it does!

    • @anro7137
      @anro7137 Před rokem

      Lol, I didn’t read your comment completely. I got caught trying to think of what movie (recent) had Kansas in it.

  • @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone
    @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Před rokem +247

    The " Eric" who wins Missouri, is the one Trump will take credit for supporting. He will no doubt tell people that the one who wins, was the one he truly believed would win.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +15

      And his son is crying into his bowl of baby's blood.

    • @tonybryant2290
      @tonybryant2290 Před rokem

      His candidates win over 90% of their races. Dems are gonna get beat barín November thanks to pedo Peter

    • @barbaraschuld8206
      @barbaraschuld8206 Před rokem

      @@couragekarnga8735 🤣😂😆🤪🤣🇺🇲💙💙💙

    • @stevepest4143
      @stevepest4143 Před rokem

      Lol it's very liberal. And off target. What has that to do with anything?

    • @davidpaul6656
      @davidpaul6656 Před rokem +3

      @@stevepest4143 - It's very liberal!? 😂🤣😂

  • @K162KingPin
    @K162KingPin Před rokem +2

    The only down side is that one second he was sitting there living it up like a king and the next second he was just gone. He didn't even know it was over.

    • @julieproctor6039
      @julieproctor6039 Před rokem

      Did they get it on film? Would also make a great film. . .

    • @K162KingPin
      @K162KingPin Před rokem

      @@julieproctor6039 Yea they had a hidden camera inside the room when it happen. Sadly it blew up.

  • @em0_tion
    @em0_tion Před rokem +5

    Ok, they *really* meant the "never forget" part.

  • @alexmartinez5859
    @alexmartinez5859 Před rokem +52

    Missouri Republicans: For the last time, your majesty. Which! CANDIDATE?!
    Agolf Twitter: Yes.

    • @DracoMagnius
      @DracoMagnius Před rokem +1

      I love how he was so indecisive and desperate for a win that his tiny brain went "Oh I know I'll just say I support Eric! That way I can't lose!"

    • @ricklovelaec6442
      @ricklovelaec6442 Před rokem

      @@DracoMagnius but in either case missouri lost,

    • @DracoMagnius
      @DracoMagnius Před rokem

      @@ricklovelaec6442 Only if either of them wins against the Democratic Candidate.

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +47

    Al-Zawahiri was not a genius after all. Am I right, Donnie? 😆

  • @Giobemo
    @Giobemo Před rokem +2

    The second media guy absolutely *nailed* Al-Zawahiri's name I thought... Is the accent not on the "wa" then?

  • @hsh8729
    @hsh8729 Před rokem +6

    Ha Good job Biden. This whole monolog is genius!

  • @wendywoolley_
    @wendywoolley_ Před rokem +4

    Those Chinese threats sound like fortunes from Fortune Cookies 🥠.

  • @Riomojo
    @Riomojo Před rokem +20

    i just spit water on my lap when he said and showed that slap chop joke, fn hilarious

  • @aimanmarzuqi4804
    @aimanmarzuqi4804 Před rokem +9

    Man, it feels weird to hear Stephen Colbert say my name out loud in front of his audience

  • @anntweedy2343
    @anntweedy2343 Před rokem +2

    Zawahiri holding a potato on a balcony at 6:15 am is a vision I'll never forget

  • @robinbeers6689
    @robinbeers6689 Před rokem +29

    Kansas voted down the abortion restriction referendum. A great victory for female bodily autonomy.

  • @crovax1375
    @crovax1375 Před rokem +9

    I'm just glad that the president didn't use the phrase "died like a dog"

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +7

      That'd be the former guy. He doesn't like doggies. They know he's a bad human. v

  • @bregancool980
    @bregancool980 Před rokem +2

    Traitor Tot😂😆 One of the best ones!

  • @ghettosteeve
    @ghettosteeve Před rokem +8

    Seems like the headline here is “drone strike actually hits a military target for once”

  • @ninalehman9054
    @ninalehman9054 Před rokem +9

    I’m hearing rumors that Cheeto refused to authorize any strikes against this guy because Cheeto didn’t recognize his name.

  • @Kelz_X
    @Kelz_X Před rokem +239

    Colbert has amazing writers. Always bringing the laughs when we need it

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +14

      And he's perfect at delivery!

    • @AntonQvarfordt
      @AntonQvarfordt Před rokem +5

      Iduno... These are just jokes spun from current events.. They aren't jokes that say anything about or makes you think about current events in any way... Autopilot jokewriting.

    • @purdysanchez
      @purdysanchez Před rokem

      The jokes on this show remind me of those videos where AI tries to write comedy.

    • @johnarnold893
      @johnarnold893 Před rokem +3

      @@JohnDoe-rq7ep 🤡

    • @johnarnold893
      @johnarnold893 Před rokem +7

      @@AntonQvarfordt Yup, it's easy to write great jokes about the GQP since they are so craaaay craaaay.

  • @napoleonibonaparte7198
    @napoleonibonaparte7198 Před rokem +15

    Eric now realises to get his father’s approval, he must run for office.

    • @tubensalat1453
      @tubensalat1453 Před rokem +2

      Imagine his father endorsing the other guy! (Or woman.)

  • @erinhilliard9347
    @erinhilliard9347 Před rokem +7

    I always watch your show. I have tinnitus in both ears and I can barely hear out of the right one. Please, continue to do the captions: I, and others who are deaf/hard of hearing will appreciate it greatly.

  • @Zippidyzay
    @Zippidyzay Před rokem +42

    Ok, that missile is some seriously impressive bad assery. Also, Real Housewife of January 6th. So many lolz.

    • @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone
      @WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Před rokem

      LOL!!! Funny comment he made. I picture the "Real Housewives of the Insurrection" to look more like fat, toothless women with big hair fighting over the last Big Mac while the theme from "Deliverance" is played. But, Kimberly looks the like typical former stripper who is stretched from ear to ear, top to bottom, looking more like a drag queen robot than a woman. She must use Melania's quack hack!

    • @derekstein6193
      @derekstein6193 Před rokem +3

      Seems like a weapon pulled directly from a shonen anime.

    • @robertacomstock3655
      @robertacomstock3655 Před rokem +4

      Shuriken missile.

  • @mikeoxbig9392
    @mikeoxbig9392 Před rokem +386

    “Nobody’s gotten to the bottom of 9/11.”
    - Donald Judas Trump

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +20

      He probably said the same thing about J6!

    • @charlesconnaughton7292
      @charlesconnaughton7292 Před rokem +14

      so true but now charges a lot more than 30 pieces of silver. donny would say because of inflation.

    • @valhalla7408
      @valhalla7408 Před rokem

      @@charlesconnaughton7292 Except that this orange-faced traitor would try to sue Pontius Pilate for “fake news” and Jesus Christ for leaving a stain on the “tallest cross on Golgotha”

    • @archangelvvv
      @archangelvvv Před rokem +18

      He's referring to himself due to having only a 3rd Grade education!

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem

      Why don't people start saying he's insane & not mentally well. v

  • @ginakleinejaeger4997
    @ginakleinejaeger4997 Před rokem +3

    Stephen, I just think you are THE BEST!!…I am cracking up watching you on CZcams while I put on my make up getting ready for my yoga class. Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have been shellshocked and am suffering PTSD post Trump and the Covid era…(well we still have Covid hopefully they’ll be no more Trump). I can’t watch the news anymore… I keep trying like yesterday when I turned it on in the morning it was the fires in California and Ukraine… I turned it right back off. But I can always look forward to hearing about our worlds continuing clusterf#!$@k through your humor!🤣🤣🤣
    Your writers and you are the BEST!

    • @aFoxyFox.
      @aFoxyFox. Před rokem

      Nothing like hearing about some million year old brown dude being rained down with missiles in an assassination hosted by a government ignoring the plight of their own people to raise the spirits!

    • @mariag.8242
      @mariag.8242 Před rokem

      Absolutely a good idea to take a long break from news when you need to protect your health and recovery - Congratulations on taking your needs seriously! 🥰

  • @pdoylemi
    @pdoylemi Před rokem +2

    You let me down Stephen. This was a golden opportunity to bring back your beloved Eric Trump impression.

  • @bluehammer1245
    @bluehammer1245 Před rokem +15

    Hopefully America manages to settle the tensions between it and West Taiwan.

  • @patrickwilson2650
    @patrickwilson2650 Před rokem +16

    It is about time to recognize Taiwan as a independent country.

  • @parrisprice5892
    @parrisprice5892 Před rokem +6

    On fire Stephen ,great show buddy!!!!

  • @tylerhaknuman1217
    @tylerhaknuman1217 Před rokem +2

    I think China threat is like a movie script. 😂😂😂

  • @asterix7842
    @asterix7842 Před rokem +6

    This just in: Eric Estrada wins the republican nomination for US Senate in Missouri.

    • @wizardsuth
      @wizardsuth Před rokem

      Yeah, but only because Erik the Viking has way too much integrity to be a Republican.

  • @lauraatkinson4790
    @lauraatkinson4790 Před rokem +54

    Dan Rather tweeted the same thing about Eric Trump. That man is an absolute legend.

    • @spacegay6030
      @spacegay6030 Před rokem +2

      Legitimately, I lost track of who Stephen was talking about and thought he meant Trump actually was endorsing Eric Trump, and I got really confused lol

  • @conishap
    @conishap Před rokem +11

    I love that you don’t say his name I wish more media productions would carry this trend. It gives him legitimacy when his name is constantly repeated

  • @calvinbright3054
    @calvinbright3054 Před rokem +5

    It's nice to have a president who doesn't draw on the model with a sharpie!

  • @TuglukReddy
    @TuglukReddy Před rokem +52

    Only America can bring knives to a gunfight and still win..".Flying Knives"

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +5

      Sorry, that was cool as hell!

    • @callmeshaggy5166
      @callmeshaggy5166 Před rokem +2

      To be fair, those knives are at the end of a very large rocket propelled probably guided bullet

    • @fred_2021
      @fred_2021 Před rokem +3

      @@callmeshaggy5166 Yes, but let's not 'mince' words.

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 Před rokem +209

    Stephen’s monologue is always incredibly fun and entertaining and just what I need at the end of the day.

    • @californiabreeze2182
      @californiabreeze2182 Před rokem +1

      TIME TO/////////////////////?????????????

    • @gastrointestinalhemorrhage
      @gastrointestinalhemorrhage Před rokem

      It's funny but scary too

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +1

      @@gastrointestinalhemorrhage it's a friendly reminder of an unforgiving reality, that's for sure.

    • @colsonchambers6412
      @colsonchambers6412 Před rokem

      If this Democratic Shill is what you need at the end of the day, I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help.

    • @BrianNewberry
      @BrianNewberry Před rokem +1

      _"It's funny but scary too?"_ As opposed to the News which *_is not_* funny but scary too.

  • @gregwarner3753
    @gregwarner3753 Před rokem +1

    One bluff completely and properly called.

  • @kotomile
    @kotomile Před rokem +2

    Second anchor nailed the pronunciation - no surprise, you can tell by the way he said it he speaks Arabic. He can probably pronounce Khashoggi correctly too 😅

  • @TheUluxian
    @TheUluxian Před rokem +151

    Joe takin' out the enemy
    Trump takin' 'em golfing....
    nuff said

    • @nigeldean3726
      @nigeldean3726 Před rokem

      Acting like Trump didn't take out his fair share of isis scumbags while he was in office. Oh and how about how Joe armed the same guys who's leader he just took out

    • @nelsonclub7722
      @nelsonclub7722 Před rokem +10

      Agreed more should be said about that

    • @Thejbirdy
      @Thejbirdy Před rokem +7

      @@nelsonclub7722 He's just an aid and abetting comforter to our enemies...period.

  • @BlackDaw1
    @BlackDaw1 Před rokem +2

    I imagined the new non-explosive hellfire missile would just be a bowling ball with wings on it.

  • @lynnerholmes
    @lynnerholmes Před rokem +2

    A great addition to this video would be closed captioning considerations for the Deaf and hearing impaired. Thank you!

  • @Sandi-ke9mi
    @Sandi-ke9mi Před rokem +6

    Freaking brilliant. Bravo! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    • @Sandi-ke9mi
      @Sandi-ke9mi Před rokem

      @Prigiyan Short I’m not opening this. I will remove it without ever knowing what BS it contains. Spam.

  • @ayayin2192
    @ayayin2192 Před rokem +20

    I'm really nervous about China and Taiwan tensions, especially because my nephew is playing with the Mexican team in the u12 baseball world cup right now I really want all the kids to get out of there

    • @rebeccaainslie4637
      @rebeccaainslie4637 Před rokem +4

      Let's hope this is all Chinese bravado! If it was N Korea I would be concerned!

    • @chuangs
      @chuangs Před rokem +11

      No worry, this is not the first time China bluffed as they always did.

    • @sammcturk8898
      @sammcturk8898 Před rokem +9

      No worry's mate, China is all bark and no bite. There economy is no the brink of total collapse and they have a ton of soldiers but there equipment is as flawed as russia's. You have a good night and feel better

    • @katiehettinger7857
      @katiehettinger7857 Před rokem +2

      All the Chinese savor rattling is for show, no one in the state department is truly worried.

    • @virginiatyree6705
      @virginiatyree6705 Před rokem +3

      @@sammcturk8898 , I don't know if it's close to collapse. The housing market is ready to tank & manufacturing is down 40%. China's having issues like all countries. v

  • @melissamuse6125
    @melissamuse6125 Před rokem +1

    Yassss that joke landed 😆

  • @susanhewitt5602
    @susanhewitt5602 Před rokem +10

    Can you imagine standing on a balcony and having a hellfire missile coming at you? I hope he had time to see it coming, and I hope he was terrified too! Way to go, President Biden and the Military heroes involved!👏👏👍

  • @u.s.a.198
    @u.s.a.198 Před rokem +45

    always makes me laugh and also understandable and compassionate...

  • @pedersonjason5256
    @pedersonjason5256 Před rokem +3

    Poor Eric and Don't Jr it must be sad that the whole country knows daddy doesn't love you.

  • @erikagray9883
    @erikagray9883 Před rokem

    Please bring back our Uninformed Correspondent, Bootsie!

  • @rillest75
    @rillest75 Před rokem +2

    My local grocery store put in an alcohol section so I'm very pumped. Not sure if I'll continue to go to the beer distributor I guess I'll have to see what kind of selection the grocery store has before making a decision

  • @EvesRevenge
    @EvesRevenge Před rokem +8

    He was at home, on his roof, yes, but wtf, in the freaking capital of Afghanistan...freaking awesome ....

    • @Kpimpmaster
      @Kpimpmaster Před rokem

      Message sent

    • @lawrencedoliveiro9104
      @lawrencedoliveiro9104 Před rokem

      Rather implausible that the 🇦🇫 Government didn’t know he was there, don’t you think ...

    • @Kpimpmaster
      @Kpimpmaster Před rokem

      @@lawrencedoliveiro9104 I think it was more so they didn’t care

  • @JenMistress
    @JenMistress Před rokem +17

    Idk who won between Eric Schmitt and Eric Greitens, but I have a feeling his name was Eric. 😉😂🤣

    • @bobdobbs69
      @bobdobbs69 Před rokem +1

      "Way to thread the needle, Chump!"

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +2

      How depressed do you think Erick Trump was when he found out his daddy wasn't talking about him?

    • @Lucius1958
      @Lucius1958 Před rokem +1

      The surprise winner was Eric the Half-a-Bee.🤣

  • @ernestpaul2484
    @ernestpaul2484 Před rokem +45

    The White Castle joke was spot on. When I was in a Pathfinder unit at Ft. Benning many years ago as a young man, you knew immediately who, after a night of bar hopping, finished up at the local White Castle. If those guys were running up front in the PT formation, the rest of the lead company suffered for it. It got so bad the Battalion commander told our detachment we cold no longer lead the formation, as the were having soldiers fall out from barfing due to the gas being emitted. Must have been the mustard.

    • @hellhound1389
      @hellhound1389 Před rokem +1

      I'm a white castle fan and never have an issue but domino's gives me explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting

    • @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850
      @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850 Před rokem +2

      They're called 'belly-bombs' for that reason 🤣

    • @ernestpaul2484
      @ernestpaul2484 Před rokem

      @@hellhound1389 Sorry to hear that. I have never had a White Castle burger come to think of it. I enjoy a Domino's extra beef, extra sausage and extra cheese. If I had to sustain myself on Domino's I think I could. I recently "discovered" Jersey Mikes. The store near us makes some great sub sandwiches. I could hole up in a Jersey Mikes in the zombie apocalypse and just eat watching the walkers cruise by on the sidewalk. Oh, I'm 64.

    • @davidstorrs
      @davidstorrs Před rokem +3

      @Ernest Paul "Must have been the mustard." So you're saying that White Castle makes you emit mustard gas? ;>

    • @ernestpaul2484
      @ernestpaul2484 Před rokem +3

      @@davidstorrs Evidently! I know it had an ill, almost debilitating effect on those that were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end and downwind. Watering eyes, violent vomiting, stomach cramps from heaving. So yes, the effects of mustard gas.

  • @QEDOma
    @QEDOma Před rokem +1

    Kansas voted NO! 🎉

  • @doobiejones9388
    @doobiejones9388 Před rokem +23

    Love you brother. You're One of my favorite people on the planet. But as a Army veteran. 82nd airborne. The goal of All military operations is too minimize civilian casualties. But sometimes shit happens. Love you brother 😎

    • @franklinshriver8441
      @franklinshriver8441 Před rokem +3

      Thank you for saying that, and for serving our country in such a brave and proud manner! We (most of us) love you and honor your dedication and sacrifices!

    • @doobiejones9388
      @doobiejones9388 Před rokem +3

      @@franklinshriver8441 I got more from being in the army than I gave. Gave me discipline and direction. And unlike the many heroes I served with I came out in one piece. Thank you for caring. 😎😎😎😎

    • @72marshflower15
      @72marshflower15 Před rokem

      It's that why the US military basically carpet bombed the Middle East?
      Chasing false enemies overseas while ignoring the true enemy behind the veil at home..

    • @kathleengiross
      @kathleengiross Před rokem +2

      Thank you for your service, sir..

    • @VocePenseNisso
      @VocePenseNisso Před rokem

      Sometimes? We are talking about the USA, it always happen

  • @ofsinope
    @ofsinope Před rokem +3

    "Helter Sorry" is a Late Night "Writer Inspection" level joke.

  • @michaelparks7177
    @michaelparks7177 Před rokem +1

    Well done.

  • @ZachariahLoneStarLiberal
    @ZachariahLoneStarLiberal Před rokem +96

    We need more Stephen in Texas… help us!

  • @wtf1185
    @wtf1185 Před rokem +18

    I know fortune cookies aren't actually from China but damn, those threats came right out of a Chinese Fortune Cookie. "It's nice when a president says, 'bring me a model' and he doesn't mean a new wife." 🤣🤣 *_GOLDEN_*

  • @Giobemo
    @Giobemo Před rokem +2

    "You mess with the bull, you get the general malaise."

  • @markchip1
    @markchip1 Před rokem +1

    "Who did you say you wanted?
    Oh - you can call me Al!"

  • @ominous4422
    @ominous4422 Před rokem +8

    9:25 - I saw this joke coming yesterday morning when I read the article about Traitor Tot endorsing "ERIC." And yes, I still lol'd when I heard it.

  • @TheSweetsherrypie
    @TheSweetsherrypie Před rokem +79

    I feel proud of our President

    • @californiabreeze2182
      @californiabreeze2182 Před rokem +1

      ?????????????????????????????????????????????

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Před rokem +13

      It feels good to be able to say that again!

    • @adolfbiden171
      @adolfbiden171 Před rokem

      Hahahahahaha 🤣😂😛😜

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 Před rokem +9

      Please remember that it is also thanks to the hard work of the men and women on the field who gathered the intel at the risks of their own lives.

    • @MrBrewman95
      @MrBrewman95 Před rokem

      Oh Sherry. Bless your ignorant heart.

  • @leoddagan
    @leoddagan Před rokem +2

    Hellfire R9X missile in Kabul: another Gillette ad sparking controversy.

  • @f.o.n.1244
    @f.o.n.1244 Před rokem +1

    I like how everyone knows the only Eric that the fuzzy Cheeto didn't endorse was Kushner.

  • @jwestfalldavis3574
    @jwestfalldavis3574 Před rokem +7

    Maybe we should start referring to Taiwan by its official name (since 1949) : the Republic of China. (ROC). Remember it was the UN that "unrecocognized" ROC in 1971 and the US vowed to continue to stand by ROC. When I lived in the ROC the people referred to the mainlanders of China as "the gorilla in my kitchen that thinks he is my brother." And the People's Republic of China (PRC) was always doing flyovers to annoy the free Taiwanese.

    • @fgsaramago
      @fgsaramago Před rokem

      You forgot to mention the US not only voted that UN decision favourably but was one of, if not the main party pushing for it

    • @VocePenseNisso
      @VocePenseNisso Před rokem

      Yeah and let's start a war...lovely

  • @ericlondon2663
    @ericlondon2663 Před rokem +4

    There is one China.
    And one Taiwan.....LOL.

  • @jolenelarson469
    @jolenelarson469 Před rokem +3

    "Don't talk to me til I've had my Hellfire missile". 😂😂😂