U.S. Hellfire Missiles Take Out al-Zawahiri | Pelosi Touches Down In Taiwan
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- čas přidán 1. 08. 2022
- President Biden announced a successful drone strike which took out a long-sought Al Qaeda target in Afghanistan, and the Chinese government threatened a litany of military actions in response to Speaker Pelosi's trip to Taiwan. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
Got the Kansas results - we kicked the holy shit out of anti-choice legislation despite how outrageously manipulative the ballot language was!
Yes🎉 way to go Kanas
Let sanity prevail!
We have to have safe abortion & contraception to stop pregnancy & abortions in the 1st place . No more 10 year old raped girls having to drive to another state to get medical help.
Also, a Democrat won the Missouri primary!
So relieved! While driving back from Colorado to get to the polls, we only saw “vote yes” signs the whole way. My 18-year old son has been to every & any protest he can get to (even on July 4 in Topeka). Our young people give me hope! Kansas Voter 🌻🇺🇸
“Traitor tot”
I like that one a lot…
Me too!
.q.
I think "traitor tot" is the most accurate pseudonym for the former pres I've heard yet. :)
Those Chinese threats sound like dark fortune cookie messages 🥠👀
Also, voters in Kansas have officially secured abortion rights in the state’s constitution. Thank you, Kansas 👏
Yes, thank all the sane humans in Kansas! I read it's 76% in favor of keeping the right to an abortion & 34%; (the final count hadn't been tabulated) in favor of taking a woman's right to determine their medical decisions away. v
These anti-woman morons didn’t just lose, they got absolutely DESTROYED!
@@virginiatyree6705 unwashed feminist who uses abortion as birth control
@@virginiatyree6705 - Umm, that's 112%. Check your math.
@@henrymccoy7171 That's how sure the state was they needed those rights they gave 110%! Lol
Hey Stephen. Remember to thank Jon Stewart for helping veterans pass the PACT Act. The party of “Life” needed some convincing, but they pushed it through.
Maybe tomorrow. Might have been too late to tape.
There are an awful lot of Republican veterans.. For the GOP not to pass the Pact Act is nothing short of slitting their own throats.
Between Jon Stewart and Vladimir Zelenskyy, maybe comedians are the better choices to become POTUS. Better than shitty reality TV stars who only exist to generate drama anyway.
@@gamepapa1211 I totally agree!! I love watching the scammers get their due from regular people with mad skills on CZcams. They stop these scumbags by taking their files and getting the feds going in the right direction because out government won't.
Jon Stewart 2024! Sorry Biden, but…
That hellfire missile sure ads another dimension to knife throwing.
That's not real , a HELLFIRE missle. What They use is 16 pounds
Of TNT And Nepalm. They
Nailed the house with two Of
Them!! This is true of Cruises
missle s they probably have
35 different models of cruise
@@davidchrist1037 there's a specific after effects on various warheads. A ninja like Hellfire missiles have an effect of no burning and sliced bodies. You can see this on Soleimani.
Eddie Munson is a bigger hero than we thought. Killing vecna then Zawahiri? Now that’s metal.
His main weapon was Gibson Flying V
The biggest story of this election night was Kansas having crazy high turnout with voters PO'd and overwhelmingly rejecting an anti-abortion measure.
In other words, Americans support abortion rights and are going to reject anti-abortion extremists in the November election. You can say "abortion is murder" as much as you want. Americans aren't buying it and don't care about that.
@Alternative Headlines Oh don't worry. House Bill 1808 is a great anti-child murdering measure too. It ends future manufacture & sales of semi autos and large magazines. No doubt you oppose it if you're aware of it. Because..you know...you care about the kids _sooooo_ much.
You reap what you sow. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You went after Roe, they went after your Murder Machines.
Next time mind your own business.
@Alternative Headlines Republicans want children to get shot at school.
@Alternative Headlines yeah, you know? Democracy.
@Alternative Headlines says someone who doesn't understand that pregnancy is not an easy process to go through REGARDLESS of choice to carry a child to full term. Mother Nature can and will have the last say whether the fetus survives. It sucks, but there it is.
When I saw that there'd been a drone strike my first question was "how many innocents did we kill this time?" so I'm super happy the answer is none.
But that guy was allready dead, died some time ago. This is just marketing a good image about biden and what he has done to america
Am I really so cynical to think, “Bullshit!”, at the notion of a non-exploding Hellfire missile which kills with sharp blades sticking out?
@Sean Embry That’s all well and great, Sean, but I think my cynicism still prevails; how do I convince myself to believe any of this is true, the idea of spinning blades to chop-up just one specific human leaving everyone else in the room alive, albeit probably covered with blood and body parts, seems to be too fanciful to be believable.
@@Jim1255783 He was alone, out on his balcony. I’m sure the balcony and doors are also destroyed, like if a car crashed into it. Shrapnel will have likely flown into the house.
Shouldn't we be thinking that way every time?
CONGRATULATIONS TO KANSAS FROM DENMARK 💐🎊🎉💯 Bad asses, keep fighting and spread courage to those who has this fight coming up later. Heads high and 🤘 you are inspiration for all..
Nice to see a President inviting a model into the White House who doesn’t charge by the hour.
"Traitor Tot" deserved a much bigger laugh.
"It's good...pretty, pretty, good!"
I wish it were as easy to get rid of Trumpism as it was to take out a foreign enemy!
Joe gave the go ahead for a drone strike on al-Zawahiri, but I bet he won't be bragging about it the same way the former guy would...
Joe is bragging big time!
@@JazzATrain No comparison. Biden's not calling in to CNN repeatedly to boast about it the way TFG always called Fox News. He's not holding rallies the way Trump does, just so he can hear his supporters clap and cheer for him.
Pelosi already stole the headlines, so...
@@whocares2087.1 Only on the conservative channels where she lives in Republican heads rent free. The rest of us can actually retain information about more than one thing at a time.
@@JazzATrain How so? By just announcing it ONCE on national TV? 🙄
“Real housewife of January 6” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Truer words have never been spoken!
Thank God we have a president who cares enough to know the details of military action, rather than pointing a fried chicken leg at the screen and saying "Blow it up"
Omg..the Mee Maw threat level caught me off guard! 🤣
While the president greenlit Zawahiri’s permanent retirement, Donald Trump hosted a golf tournament sponsored by 9/11’s Saudi Arabia.
Pretty much says it all!
The former guy isn't a decent human. I'm sure they had some sick burial service at his golf club for his ex. It's just weird. v
A pox on the Saudi Arabian government and their heirs.
@@Echo81Rumple83 , I did some reading & it's been happening for years; pox on their house. Since they have frequent & accepted marrying between cousins, they have the highest rates of deformities & genetic disorders. They have a special hospital to handle the issues from interbreeding. You have to dig to find that information. v
cAYMAN AL-ZAWAHIRI ‘DEAD’ - AL-QAEDA BOSS DIES FROM ASTHMA IN AFGHAN MOUNTAIN HIDEOUT, REPORTS CLAIM
The Sun 11:52, 20 Nov 2020
Updated: 12:55, 20 Nov 2020
😁😁😁😁😁😁
On the Hellfire missiles, it's been confirmed that two Ninja R9Xs were fired, 6 sword blades each. That seems very fitting, considering the penchant for beheadings in these terrorist groups.
6:32 commander realizes who's a good boy
"It nice when a President says; bring me a model.
And he doesn't mean, a new wife..."
~ Stephen Colbert
(Instant CLASSIC!)
I think Trump actually built his current wife, so.... But, he never does anything himself, so I'm sure someone else assembled her from the mail-order company she came from.
@@WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone No comments.
But um, can I have that number?
You know, to do my own research...lol
Stuff like that always seems like a low bar until someone has trouble meeting it, doesn't it?
@@AlexandarHullRichter Um, could you be a bit more specific?
Loved this line x)
"Therefore, I do solemnly pledge my complete and total loyalty to person, woman, man, camera. TV."
"Especially TV."
The model wife joke was brilliant. Colbert has some great writers
It was actually pretty dumb.
Oh boy who saw that coming another Trump had multiple wives joke. So lazy and overdone specifically on this show.
@@tobiramasenju6290 you're missing the point.
@@2332Stephen the point is it wasn't creative at all and you have a low bar for creativity.
@@tobiramasenju6290 I disagree...I guess what I'm trying to say is..between the jokes and colbert delivering them..it's a beautiful thing. A few times the punchlines are predictable..and alot of times you get the same type of material from these guys but whatever they're doing for laughs..it's working. The other late nights don't come close. The only one I thought was even in the conversation was Trevor Noah, and Conan o Brian.. those three have charisma.
Louis’s face is often a mirror of mine, laughing and also kinda oh no you didn’t go there Colbert. Cracks me up. Thx for keeping things going Louis, rly nice job.
Alex Jones is on trial, by the way. Let’s hope he profoundly suffers the consequences of his sadism.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
He is already guilty they are trying to determine how much it will cost him. Hopefully it will be ?150 million
Ooh! I hope he gets it good!
Those fries were beautifully julienned... but man, were they overcooked!
Thank you, Stephen and team!
“I support… Eric!”
“Well, we know which Eric he ISN’T talking about.”
Felt a bit disappointed Stephen didn't go for the Lipless Eric bit. "Father! Thank you for your endorsement! Now how about we celebrate it with a long overdue hug?"
I mean, COME on man, it was RIGHT THERE!
Thanks for showing us why ur not a writer....
@@odizza1688 thanks for showing us you don't know how to spell "you are".
@lola type still funny.
The R9x hellfire sounds like something Mr Torgue from Borderlands would make.
ZeddtheVHSotaku - I got that reference!
Using as seen on TV technology.
That writer deserves a bonus!
Misread “Hellfire missiles take out Pelosi” walking to my fridge. Scared the 💩out of me.
And the rumor is that Kansas has voted to REJECT a measure that would have made it easier to restrict access to ANY abortion !!!
“The Real Housewife of January 6th, Kimberly Guilfoyle” … Because “ThE BeSt iS yeT tO CoMe” 🤣😂😂😅
I loved how he made fun of news presenters for mis-pronouncing al-Zawahiri's name then deliberately mis-pronounced it himself all through the section. Stephen always goes that extra mile for the joke.
This is the first time I’ve been proud of the state I live in (Kansas) in several years!
There's good sane people everywhere. They're just not as vocal & quietly do their thing. Go Kansas. Kanas has a fascinating history. I did some reading & they were definitely against slavery. v
@@virginiatyree6705 Kansas is definitely an interesting state! And yet we’re known for a movie that only has Kansas in it for like 15 minutes before a tornado strikes lol
@@DefinitelyNattox , People don't read about history. The whole world has so many fascinating stories. v
@@virginiatyree6705 Indeed it does!
Lol, I didn’t read your comment completely. I got caught trying to think of what movie (recent) had Kansas in it.
The " Eric" who wins Missouri, is the one Trump will take credit for supporting. He will no doubt tell people that the one who wins, was the one he truly believed would win.
And his son is crying into his bowl of baby's blood.
His candidates win over 90% of their races. Dems are gonna get beat barín November thanks to pedo Peter
@@couragekarnga8735 🤣😂😆🤪🤣🇺🇲💙💙💙
Lol it's very liberal. And off target. What has that to do with anything?
@@stevepest4143 - It's very liberal!? 😂🤣😂
The only down side is that one second he was sitting there living it up like a king and the next second he was just gone. He didn't even know it was over.
Did they get it on film? Would also make a great film. . .
@@julieproctor6039 Yea they had a hidden camera inside the room when it happen. Sadly it blew up.
Ok, they *really* meant the "never forget" part.
Missouri Republicans: For the last time, your majesty. Which! CANDIDATE?!
Agolf Twitter: Yes.
I love how he was so indecisive and desperate for a win that his tiny brain went "Oh I know I'll just say I support Eric! That way I can't lose!"
@@DracoMagnius but in either case missouri lost,
@@ricklovelaec6442 Only if either of them wins against the Democratic Candidate.
Al-Zawahiri was not a genius after all. Am I right, Donnie? 😆
czcams.com/users/shortsc5DPxqj6prQ This is very relevant.
The second media guy absolutely *nailed* Al-Zawahiri's name I thought... Is the accent not on the "wa" then?
Ha Good job Biden. This whole monolog is genius!
Those Chinese threats sound like fortunes from Fortune Cookies 🥠.
i just spit water on my lap when he said and showed that slap chop joke, fn hilarious
Man, it feels weird to hear Stephen Colbert say my name out loud in front of his audience
Zawahiri holding a potato on a balcony at 6:15 am is a vision I'll never forget
😅
Kansas voted down the abortion restriction referendum. A great victory for female bodily autonomy.
Yes, sanity ruled over the religious fanatics. v
I'm just glad that the president didn't use the phrase "died like a dog"
That'd be the former guy. He doesn't like doggies. They know he's a bad human. v
Traitor Tot😂😆 One of the best ones!
Seems like the headline here is “drone strike actually hits a military target for once”
I’m hearing rumors that Cheeto refused to authorize any strikes against this guy because Cheeto didn’t recognize his name.
Colbert has amazing writers. Always bringing the laughs when we need it
And he's perfect at delivery!
Iduno... These are just jokes spun from current events.. They aren't jokes that say anything about or makes you think about current events in any way... Autopilot jokewriting.
The jokes on this show remind me of those videos where AI tries to write comedy.
@@JohnDoe-rq7ep 🤡
@@AntonQvarfordt Yup, it's easy to write great jokes about the GQP since they are so craaaay craaaay.
Eric now realises to get his father’s approval, he must run for office.
Imagine his father endorsing the other guy! (Or woman.)
I always watch your show. I have tinnitus in both ears and I can barely hear out of the right one. Please, continue to do the captions: I, and others who are deaf/hard of hearing will appreciate it greatly.
Ok, that missile is some seriously impressive bad assery. Also, Real Housewife of January 6th. So many lolz.
LOL!!! Funny comment he made. I picture the "Real Housewives of the Insurrection" to look more like fat, toothless women with big hair fighting over the last Big Mac while the theme from "Deliverance" is played. But, Kimberly looks the like typical former stripper who is stretched from ear to ear, top to bottom, looking more like a drag queen robot than a woman. She must use Melania's quack hack!
Seems like a weapon pulled directly from a shonen anime.
Shuriken missile.
“Nobody’s gotten to the bottom of 9/11.”
- Donald Judas Trump
He probably said the same thing about J6!
so true but now charges a lot more than 30 pieces of silver. donny would say because of inflation.
@@charlesconnaughton7292 Except that this orange-faced traitor would try to sue Pontius Pilate for “fake news” and Jesus Christ for leaving a stain on the “tallest cross on Golgotha”
He's referring to himself due to having only a 3rd Grade education!
Why don't people start saying he's insane & not mentally well. v
Stephen, I just think you are THE BEST!!…I am cracking up watching you on CZcams while I put on my make up getting ready for my yoga class. Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have been shellshocked and am suffering PTSD post Trump and the Covid era…(well we still have Covid hopefully they’ll be no more Trump). I can’t watch the news anymore… I keep trying like yesterday when I turned it on in the morning it was the fires in California and Ukraine… I turned it right back off. But I can always look forward to hearing about our worlds continuing clusterf#!$@k through your humor!🤣🤣🤣
Your writers and you are the BEST!
Nothing like hearing about some million year old brown dude being rained down with missiles in an assassination hosted by a government ignoring the plight of their own people to raise the spirits!
Absolutely a good idea to take a long break from news when you need to protect your health and recovery - Congratulations on taking your needs seriously! 🥰
You let me down Stephen. This was a golden opportunity to bring back your beloved Eric Trump impression.
Hopefully America manages to settle the tensions between it and West Taiwan.
Taiwan number 1! West Taiwan number 2!
Apparently there is no hope for humanity
It is about time to recognize Taiwan as a independent country.
On fire Stephen ,great show buddy!!!!
I think China threat is like a movie script. 😂😂😂
This just in: Eric Estrada wins the republican nomination for US Senate in Missouri.
Yeah, but only because Erik the Viking has way too much integrity to be a Republican.
Dan Rather tweeted the same thing about Eric Trump. That man is an absolute legend.
Legitimately, I lost track of who Stephen was talking about and thought he meant Trump actually was endorsing Eric Trump, and I got really confused lol
I love that you don’t say his name I wish more media productions would carry this trend. It gives him legitimacy when his name is constantly repeated
It's nice to have a president who doesn't draw on the model with a sharpie!
Only America can bring knives to a gunfight and still win..".Flying Knives"
Sorry, that was cool as hell!
To be fair, those knives are at the end of a very large rocket propelled probably guided bullet
@@callmeshaggy5166 Yes, but let's not 'mince' words.
Stephen’s monologue is always incredibly fun and entertaining and just what I need at the end of the day.
TIME TO/////////////////////?????????????
It's funny but scary too
@@gastrointestinalhemorrhage it's a friendly reminder of an unforgiving reality, that's for sure.
If this Democratic Shill is what you need at the end of the day, I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help.
_"It's funny but scary too?"_ As opposed to the News which *_is not_* funny but scary too.
One bluff completely and properly called.
Second anchor nailed the pronunciation - no surprise, you can tell by the way he said it he speaks Arabic. He can probably pronounce Khashoggi correctly too 😅
Joe takin' out the enemy
Trump takin' 'em golfing....
nuff said
Acting like Trump didn't take out his fair share of isis scumbags while he was in office. Oh and how about how Joe armed the same guys who's leader he just took out
Agreed more should be said about that
@@nelsonclub7722 He's just an aid and abetting comforter to our enemies...period.
I imagined the new non-explosive hellfire missile would just be a bowling ball with wings on it.
margin of error needs to be accounted for so.. stick some 6 foot swords on it
Ok Wiley Coyote 😂
A great addition to this video would be closed captioning considerations for the Deaf and hearing impaired. Thank you!
Freaking brilliant. Bravo! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@Prigiyan Short I’m not opening this. I will remove it without ever knowing what BS it contains. Spam.
I'm really nervous about China and Taiwan tensions, especially because my nephew is playing with the Mexican team in the u12 baseball world cup right now I really want all the kids to get out of there
Let's hope this is all Chinese bravado! If it was N Korea I would be concerned!
No worry, this is not the first time China bluffed as they always did.
No worry's mate, China is all bark and no bite. There economy is no the brink of total collapse and they have a ton of soldiers but there equipment is as flawed as russia's. You have a good night and feel better
All the Chinese savor rattling is for show, no one in the state department is truly worried.
@@sammcturk8898 , I don't know if it's close to collapse. The housing market is ready to tank & manufacturing is down 40%. China's having issues like all countries. v
Yassss that joke landed 😆
Can you imagine standing on a balcony and having a hellfire missile coming at you? I hope he had time to see it coming, and I hope he was terrified too! Way to go, President Biden and the Military heroes involved!👏👏👍
always makes me laugh and also understandable and compassionate...
gag
Poor Eric and Don't Jr it must be sad that the whole country knows daddy doesn't love you.
Please bring back our Uninformed Correspondent, Bootsie!
My local grocery store put in an alcohol section so I'm very pumped. Not sure if I'll continue to go to the beer distributor I guess I'll have to see what kind of selection the grocery store has before making a decision
He was at home, on his roof, yes, but wtf, in the freaking capital of Afghanistan...freaking awesome ....
Message sent
Rather implausible that the 🇦🇫 Government didn’t know he was there, don’t you think ...
@@lawrencedoliveiro9104 I think it was more so they didn’t care
Idk who won between Eric Schmitt and Eric Greitens, but I have a feeling his name was Eric. 😉😂🤣
"Way to thread the needle, Chump!"
How depressed do you think Erick Trump was when he found out his daddy wasn't talking about him?
The surprise winner was Eric the Half-a-Bee.🤣
The White Castle joke was spot on. When I was in a Pathfinder unit at Ft. Benning many years ago as a young man, you knew immediately who, after a night of bar hopping, finished up at the local White Castle. If those guys were running up front in the PT formation, the rest of the lead company suffered for it. It got so bad the Battalion commander told our detachment we cold no longer lead the formation, as the were having soldiers fall out from barfing due to the gas being emitted. Must have been the mustard.
I'm a white castle fan and never have an issue but domino's gives me explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting
They're called 'belly-bombs' for that reason 🤣
@@hellhound1389 Sorry to hear that. I have never had a White Castle burger come to think of it. I enjoy a Domino's extra beef, extra sausage and extra cheese. If I had to sustain myself on Domino's I think I could. I recently "discovered" Jersey Mikes. The store near us makes some great sub sandwiches. I could hole up in a Jersey Mikes in the zombie apocalypse and just eat watching the walkers cruise by on the sidewalk. Oh, I'm 64.
@Ernest Paul "Must have been the mustard." So you're saying that White Castle makes you emit mustard gas? ;>
@@davidstorrs Evidently! I know it had an ill, almost debilitating effect on those that were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end and downwind. Watering eyes, violent vomiting, stomach cramps from heaving. So yes, the effects of mustard gas.
Kansas voted NO! 🎉
Love you brother. You're One of my favorite people on the planet. But as a Army veteran. 82nd airborne. The goal of All military operations is too minimize civilian casualties. But sometimes shit happens. Love you brother 😎
Thank you for saying that, and for serving our country in such a brave and proud manner! We (most of us) love you and honor your dedication and sacrifices!
@@franklinshriver8441 I got more from being in the army than I gave. Gave me discipline and direction. And unlike the many heroes I served with I came out in one piece. Thank you for caring. 😎😎😎😎
It's that why the US military basically carpet bombed the Middle East?
Chasing false enemies overseas while ignoring the true enemy behind the veil at home..
Thank you for your service, sir..
Sometimes? We are talking about the USA, it always happen
"Helter Sorry" is a Late Night "Writer Inspection" level joke.
Well done.
We need more Stephen in Texas… help us!
IQ is what Texas lacks.
Just a little common sense would help
Go back to Kalifornia
With many IT, Tech jobs migrating to TX, will it make any changes soon?
Check Texas Paul of Meidas Touch & populist Jim Hightower!
I know fortune cookies aren't actually from China but damn, those threats came right out of a Chinese Fortune Cookie. "It's nice when a president says, 'bring me a model' and he doesn't mean a new wife." 🤣🤣 *_GOLDEN_*
That's funny reading your comment as he said it
You mean a Mis-fortune Cookie
"You mess with the bull, you get the general malaise."
"Who did you say you wanted?
Oh - you can call me Al!"
9:25 - I saw this joke coming yesterday morning when I read the article about Traitor Tot endorsing "ERIC." And yes, I still lol'd when I heard it.
I feel proud of our President
?????????????????????????????????????????????
It feels good to be able to say that again!
Hahahahahaha 🤣😂😛😜
Please remember that it is also thanks to the hard work of the men and women on the field who gathered the intel at the risks of their own lives.
Oh Sherry. Bless your ignorant heart.
Hellfire R9X missile in Kabul: another Gillette ad sparking controversy.
I like how everyone knows the only Eric that the fuzzy Cheeto didn't endorse was Kushner.
Maybe we should start referring to Taiwan by its official name (since 1949) : the Republic of China. (ROC). Remember it was the UN that "unrecocognized" ROC in 1971 and the US vowed to continue to stand by ROC. When I lived in the ROC the people referred to the mainlanders of China as "the gorilla in my kitchen that thinks he is my brother." And the People's Republic of China (PRC) was always doing flyovers to annoy the free Taiwanese.
You forgot to mention the US not only voted that UN decision favourably but was one of, if not the main party pushing for it
Yeah and let's start a war...lovely
There is one China.
And one Taiwan.....LOL.
"Don't talk to me til I've had my Hellfire missile". 😂😂😂