What's the hardest part about being donor-conceived?

[@eloiselloyd3979]

Worst part for me was being taught I had to be okay with something that hurt me very deeply. I learned so young I didn’t have a chance to really question it. I was never given the space to express how hurt and abandoned I felt that one of the people who created me didn’t want me and gave their absence in my life as a gift to my present parents. It wasn’t a gift to me.

[@MsChitterchat]

It was a gift. You got the gift of life. It’s wonderful! I hope you can get to a good place in your head and know that you are loved. And know that the man who donated his sperm meant well for you. Also it’s ok to be angry and sad, just don’t let it overwhelm your life. Talk to someone, you can get through this ❤

[@Scarlett_84]

If he didn't donate his sperm, you wouldn't be here at all... you don't like this life you've been gifted?

[@eloiselloyd3979]

@@MsChitterchat I do not appreciate being told my experience is invalid. Being told I ought to be grateful for being alive is deeply unhelpful. Kindly do not tell people this when they are expressing they were hurt by their upbringing and the choices their parents made.

[@Uber1937]

​@@eloiselloyd3979 Conozco a varias personas en tu situación y, al igual que tú, lloran toda la vida, por el rechazo de sus padres. Yo soy una de ellos.❤🙏

[@marielux7372]

@@MsChitterchat you sound like an idiot trying to tell this woman platitudes about something you haven’t experienced

[@OWNReview]

I came to watch this to see the experience of donor conceived children as adults. This is very different than I thought it would be. The mother's want so badly to have children and are so desperate and just want a chance to be mother's. They don't want to adopt because they want to experience pregnancy. The parental stories are sooo gut wrenching and you feel for them. However, to see how the DC children STILL think of the other DC children as their siblings is very eye opening. Genetics matter so much! I wander if DC adults can partner with fertility clinics to share their experience with these parents who are so desperate to have a child.

[@ariaiswilson]

They’d only ever want to hear the “good” stories from donor conceived adults.

[@Uber1937]

Aceptar la realidad; si eres estéril, no puedes tener hijos.

[@holyempressw8531]

It's because those women are desperate are not thinking clearly. Some Donor conceive kids don't even talk to their parents that brought with a price

[@lajesq176]

@@holyempressw8531🍻. My parents are lucky I talk to them, and I could walk away at any time. I will be holding this over their heads for the rest of their lives. I hope I have given anyone thinking about donor conception something to think about.

[@taliabraver]

I always felt so bad for the children,the parents are selfish!

[@TattooedAussieChick]

My son donated sperm. I only found out recently. There are at least five children. He is open to contact. I truly hope I get to meet them one day ❤️

[@ariaiswilson]

What if they never reach out to you or your son? Is there grief in that?

[@TattooedAussieChick]

@@ariaiswilson there is. I already feel grief that I can’t see the children.

[@ariaiswilson]

@@TattooedAussieChick Im sorry that you’re feeling this way. I think this is why many donors choose not to tell their parents. You could try DNA testing yourself. You’d be surprised how many parents will test their kids to find any of their relatives. Wishing you luck! ❤️

[@TattooedAussieChick]

@@ariaiswilson thanks. I’m intending doing a few different DNA tests to increase my chances 😊

[@nena200able]

I'm sorry you're going through this. What your son did is not right. The way you feel right now is proof of that. As a mother, I can't imagine having scattered children and not being able to be with them, not knowing if they're happy, if they're suffering, if they're being abused, if the person that has them is doing a good job parenting them. There's nothing natural about this, there's nothing ok about it. Children have the basic right to get to know both of their biological parents, and have a life with them. A lot of the people conceived in this way feel a void in their life. They're always wondering if they have other siblings, who they really look like, and they are more prone to depression and other things. People need to stop being so selfish.

[@ZacharySahuque]

I am releasing my donor conception story this father's day. I hope that you'll watch mine next month when it releases!

[@ChooseU4ever]

I'm not donor conceived and my parents are related. They are 3rd cousins.

[@Uber1937]

Primos terceros están relacionados, pero no es igual a primos hermanos.

[@peachygal4153]

That happens in small communities. I share more DNA with my paternal cousins than my maternal cousins because my father came from a small community where his family had lived for 4 or 5 generations. Mom's family ancestors moved around more.

[@ItsameAlex]

well done guys

[@orphansparrow2]

I'm thinking of using an egg donor. If we do this, I would tell my child from day one, and continue to be open with them about their donor. I would not choose an anonymous donor for this reason. I would want to support my child in getting to know their biological family. I also did not know my biological family on my father's side. He was not around, and then died before I could get to know him. I am hoping that if I do this, it will be a positive thing.

[@noellefritz5678]

you're supposed to tell donor conceived kids that they were donor conceived sometime before they are 4 years old, so nothing is a shock or negative.

[@iknowyouwanttofly]

I think as maybe future rp we should try to ask more from clinics. Like open at birth not at 18 maybe? And clinics should limit amount of rp families from a donor more and donorsiblings should know about eachother from the start.

[@eloiselloyd3979]

@@noellefritz5678 unfortunately finding out one of your bio parents created you to abandon you to others is a deeply upsetting thing. I learned before I could form memories and all it did was teach me how my mother wanted me to feel about the situation. It taught me my actually feelings weren’t okay. And no matter what, I didn’t get to have a childhood with my father.

[@MsChitterchat]

@@eloiselloyd3979 I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you realise that you were created with love and that a stranger donated their sperm to help your mother to create you. Perhaps you should discuss this with a professional with expertise in donor conception. All the best 🙏🏻

[@Uber1937]

La naturaleza no es un juego. ¿Por qué crees que los óvulos están en el cuerpo de la madre, desde su nacimiento? Hazte preguntas serias y acepta la realidad. Madre, solo hay una: la naturaleza, la eligió, no la ciencia.

[@johnm.castillo3163]

I have a question for you. Hypothetically if you were 8 years old and had to wait until 18 to meet your biological father... how would you feel if your biological father found you, by some strange event? What if he tried to reach out to your biological mother? Would you want to meet him then or would you rather wait until you were 18 years old? What if at the time you were 8 years old your mother met a man whom she decided to start a family with?
Just curious, and asking for a friend.

[@noellefritz5678]

it would depend on if the donor (father) was one of the ones who put on their information at the sperm bank consent to be contacted once the child reached 18, or if they put on their information that they do not want to be contacted at any time.

[@taliabraver]

Poor kids

[@brownclip6384]

Am lsaac am rucking smwon to donut my sepmu

[@lajesq176]

Did you pay this sibling group? They seem scripted and surface level. Those who are donor-conceived experience deep pain, never doubt it. It is bewildering to learn that your whole life has been a lie. Who decided for me that I shouldn’t care about my donor and my sibs?

[@realityandtherapy]

Telling your kids they are donor kids opens up a whole can of worms. I believe it is in the best of everyone involved, the parents, the anonymous donors and especially the child to not disclose that information to protect them and everybody involved. The truth is your donor is not your family, your father, your mother, their kids have nothing to do with you, they are not your siblings. The donor gave a beautiful gift and it's not healthy or fair to them to have to deal with a child calling themselves your child, imagine!

[@MsChitterchat]

I disagree. It’s better to gently tell them the story of love that brought them into the world. If they find out as teenagers or adults they’ll resent you and possibly never forgive you. It will mess with their heads. Honesty is the best thing ❤

[@CP-ll6qg]

Nice in theory, but for medical reasons it is VERY important! If your children don't know they're donor conceived, they will give false medical histories to their doctors thinking they are accurate. Doctors may then rule out inherited diseases that they would otherwise do tests for.
Secondly, I know it's uncomfortable to talk about, but accidental incest is a real concern. Despite what sperm banks say, there is no actual oversight on how many kids one donor can produce; there are no laws against making a hundred children in the same city from the same father. It's not unusual for a single donor to have multiple kids in the same city around the same age.

[@MsChitterchat]

@@CP-ll6qg There are more restrictions in the U.K. and Europe to prevent the likelihood of incest. The number of parents using the same sperm is restricted (by registering a pregnancy). This is more of a concern in the US where sperm donors can go from clinic to clinic / state to state.

[@Uber1937]

No es así. La naturaleza tiene claro que ella manda, concede o no y, es la ley. Lo que haga la ciencia, le da igual. Madre, solo hay una, ADN. El juego de la que compra óvulos, acaba mal.

[@Uber1937]

La naturaleza no se regala ni se compra. Seríamos Dios.