'It's Not Fun Being Lied To Your Whole Life' | Confronting My Mum About My Sperm Donor Father
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- čas přidán 28. 11. 2020
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I'm sorry for the girl and how could the mother tell everyone else but not her? I mean, even the stepmother knew.
To be fair, I dont think it would be easy to admit you're barren. However, I wouldn't know when would be the right time to reveal this sort of information.
She said it was never intended to be secret??? Did I gear hear that right? Then ... how come your didn't get round to knowing when everyone else did? That is literally a secret. Full stop. Completely immoral.
I am 18 and found out yesterday I came from a sperm donor. All my family knew except me and my twin brother too. I am not mad at them because it isn’t an easy thing to do because my dad didn’t want us to think of him any different. It must have been so hard for my parents as they tried for 15 years. I’m in shock and I want to look into finding my siblings but my brother doesn’t
You should take a 23andMe test. I found out via 23andMe that I was a sperm donor baby. I also took ancestry but feel 23andMe gave me a more comprehensive result. You may have biological family that has taken both. At least you found out prior to having kids (maybe?). I am meeting my bio-dad's 2 daughters that are older than me soon. I too don't blame my parents for using sperm donation but it does hurt to be lied to and not know why you are the way you are. Looking at the photos of my bio-dad and half-sisters made me see for the first time someone who I felt I looked like... being a twin you were able to have that before now but from my point of view it was heart-wrenching.
@@MrsSallyJohnsonyeah I am on 23and me but no matches yet! Also on the sibling register. yeh it was and is very difficult for me too as my parents still don’t talk about it. And either does my twin, not since they day we found out. but to create a narrative that the parents are horrible for it I feel is dismissing their experience. I just think it’s a difficult situation but I do think my parents didn’t handle it well and a lot of harm could have been avoided.
Maybe her family didn't wanted to make her feel as an outsider.
Well, they just did, anyway.
@@kabardinka1 Exactly.
@Knight Alderman That's the worst - everybody else knew.
What a lame "apology/explanation" !!
The daughter generation does not understand that adults were told by psychologists that telling the children would damage the child.
It's actually the opposite. Research shows it's better to tell them early on
@@Rebecca-vg2ef Maybe now that is what is taught . But not in the past. 40's thru the 80's were taught it was better for the child not to share heritage, adoptions, and anything.
Not true thats a excuse,If it wasnt for dna testing it would still be a secret,sad,
Since the 90s and 00s doctors have been recommending telling kids as soon as possible, this was due to a lot of donor conceived people dying from medical conditions they inherited from their donors.
The reason for lying is simple but difficult to accept: pure Selfishness - it benefits them to lie to you and it doesn’t matter how detrimental to your mental health that will eventually be
Moms struggling to take accountability 😕
This kid is beautiful and smart and deserved honesty from the people who raised her. With some people children are about their EGO. I thought many years ago when these home DNA tests were made readily available; “Family secrets” would be revealed. At least, her parents were married to each other. Some will find out things they never wanted to know about “family”......
That's absolutely devastating for the daughter to hear. Her own family lied to her. My heart goes out to the daughter.
Her family didn’t lie to her per se, you can’t just reveal that to them like “oh yeah kiddo you were conceived with a sperm donor” “what’s a sperm”
It just became time to tell her
I think it’s just as hard, maybe harder for the mother
Forget the mother the childs feeling are way more important@@rebeccamccurry6003
@@rebeccamccurry6003the mother it’s hard for bcuz she has regret not telling her daughter but it’s the daughter who is having an identity crisis at this point in her life. I’m sure it’s harder for the girl. If you do a little bit of research, children of donors suffer more than children of adoption due to many factors.
Kids need to know these things early on (also adoption etc.)!!!
There's even research showing that
Her family are great at keeping secrets
Yeap
They should of told her in the begining.
This happened with my family my niece didn’t know her dad wasn’t her real dad. Everyone in the family knew apart from her. I was told before her and I was younger then her. It was so wrong but when she was told. It was like a huge brick wall and she had a big shock like this lady. :( poor girls but love and support helps them get through
Her dad, the dad that raised her, is her real dad. Anyone can be a father it takes so much more to be a dad
My good friends are related to this girl, I just found out . I’m really lucky to have met them. They are practically brothers . God bless everyone on this earth, no matter where you come from. you can change peoples lives and help many people! I know my friends did.
Completely unrelated but I miss your Things not to say to series.
There’s still more you need to cover.
Things not to say to
1. Skinny people
2. People who don’t want children
3. Smokers
4. People with Aspergers
5. People with Anxiety
6. People with paranoia
7. People who have no friends
8. Introverts
Anyone who sees this, feel free to add more suggestions. I really want this series back .
*Me:* 🤣🗣🔊 The whole world would hate me then... cause I’m a *_LIER_* my own damn self
I think Dr's have just recently been told that the kids should know. I feel sad for all of the parents who were told by the Dr's to not tell for the sake of their child's well being.
Everyone criticizing the mother will never know how it feels like to be in her position. The mum is confronting two rejections here: One, the feeling of being rejected from not being able to conceive naturally, and second the feeling of being rejected by the very child she has yearned for by exposing the truth. These are personal struggles and the fact that the mum cooperated in making this video reflects her acknowledgement of what she could have done better. And those saying the mom could have adopted are the same people who have never adopted today. Current adoption is expensive, a lengthy process, and selecting a baby/toddler is no easy task as many come from broken households (waiting for an ideal baby means a very long and lengthy waiting list).
Wow That's a beautiful lady!
Big deal? Smh
Breeders are SO selfish!!!!!!! Why cant they adopt?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!
How many kids have you adopted? Are you adopted? Do you want forbid sex and pregnancy? You‘re crazy.
The truth is mom - it was easier to say nothing than it was to do the hard thing and just tell your daughter the truth. Would have been much easier to have told her as a child. Now she's dealing with the circumstances of her birth AND the fact that literally her entire family kept the truth from her. Talk about having trust issues. smh
I’m sorry but have empathy for her mother. She’s struggling yet the daughter isn’t comforting her. And that’s sad.
She doesn't deserve that much empathy....she should've realized that her daughter would have a strong urge to find out what her real genetic origins are.
I was told when I was 18 and it was the biggest relief to know I'm not related to a dirtbag
But I understand her pain none the less
Commenting as I watch. The mother is inconsiderate and unloving
Complicated
I was never this early in comments section
What's the problem? She was brought up by her family it's doesn't matter who the biological parents are.. tff
but it does matter. If there are hidden genetic issues she doesn't know about that can affect her choices and medical decisions, those need to be known.
So if someone came to you today and told you that you were adopted, it wouldn’t matter? No big deal, it wouldn’t change anything?
Yea, it doesn’t matter who the biological parents are... so why not tell her the truth
Everyone around her knew EXCEPT her
Also, let’s not forget knowing family history is something they always ask at hospital, and the entire time she only knew half the details
You, nor her parents, have a right to make that decision for her. Not when it comes to adoption nor donor birth parents. It's her absolute right.
Because you are your genes
If you’re parents did the best they could for you which what they had then they are ur parents dnt judge
Idk. Ive never been told my biological parent isn’t mine, but I don’t understand why someone who grew up with all the love and privilege in the world is acting like this is just the biggest problem ever. It’s not like it would’ve changed anything about her life if she had known so I feel like she’s blowing it out of proportion more for attention.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks that
Exactly, she’s got a loving family did she expect them to tell her right away? Sure it’s important health wise but the people who raise you are your parents.
I am on the same situation as her. I’m 18 and me and my twin found out yesterday because my cousin accidentally told me. I actually feel so happy to know how wanted we both were and I feel sorry that they had to go through that. I was upset and shocked (still am) but I know it isn’t a bad thing
How do u know she’s prividged, she’s understandable shocked.
@@jessicawatson7360 did you see the houses? The clothes? The dancing? The fact they paid for a sperm donor? The fact she has two parents? You can tell she’s literally wanted for nothing. I get being upset no one told you, but the fact that she was a sperm donor child changes absolutely nothing about her life, she’s more using it as a pity party.
What a brat! You had a loving family, raised well? What does it matter for?
Try to put yourself in her shoes and try to understand that she's processing the news. the parents should have just been honest from the start
Everyone has a right to know where they came from
@@lilacspring2556 “Hey kiddo you were born from a sperm donor”
“What’s a sperm”