I lost my ability to have children at the age of 20 due to relatively emergent ovarian surgery. My Husband and I are currently waiting on news regarding our donor egg embryos using his sperm. This whole process has been incredibly difficult and I have questioned if we are making the right choice as there are so many stories of hurt or angry DCP. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for this video. It has always been our intention to be open and honest with our children. We never want to hurt them. Watching your video has helped me to feel that we are making the right choice and guided us further on how to help our children. Thank you!
I don't think it is so much that we feel our parents are villians, it is just traumatic to find out and is often not something that is talked about openly so a lot of us that were born into traditional families didn't receive any support to understand or navigate being DC as we got older and started dating etc. A lot of that (at least for those of us born in the 80s), was because they were told not to tell us. That left us dealing with a lot of the situations and explanations on our own. Whatever you choose to do, please don't lie to future offspring. It's a huge breaking of trust when you find out that the people you are supposed to be able to trust the most aren't who they've said they were.
Babies grow into adults with their own beliefs and opinions. A relative of ours used donor sperm to be a single mother. Her children grew up knowing this. However, as adults, neither approved of what she did, but understood why. Her daughter would of preferred to have a father in life, it didn't mean a biological father either, just a father because all her friends had close relationships with their father. Her son just thinks its ewww, but he is far more chill and cool about it. He has a good sense of humor. Both want to meet their donor and see if they have siblings. I believe the donors are anonymous and that was the deal at the time. Just be honest, no lies, and don't expect them to think the same as you do.
For those seeing this later, the part mentioned around 34 minutes in about children finding out, please consider having a plan before going into this. I was told between 1st and 2nd grade when we were changing schools and it was traumatic on top of some other trauma events around the same time. Telling me as a reaction to something else wasnt a good plan. Also, I think it needs to be an ongoing subject. It does affect things like dating and choosing a partner, and brings a lot of unknowns. If you aren't bringing up the topic, they are likely going through it alone. It isn't a common thing, or at least it wasn't for me, and it was in the back of my mind. And please, always be honest. If they are asking how babies are born, bring it up. It might be as simple as there are lots of ways to have a baby, lots of people do this, but we had help from someone else. Being open at drs offices may also bring questions. But not hiding it there is also important for health records.
As a side note because I do seem to see a difference between my story and a lot of others, I am 40, and it does seem like the 20 years between people born around me and the young DC people that are starting to look (or not), it seems like people are much more open about it these days. Artificial Insemination was openly talked about for as long as I can remember among extended family, but from an animal perspective due to breeding programs on the dairy farm (and a large scale stud service that the family ran back in the 1940s). Maybe discussion of animals can make it easier if you have some of those examples around, but do understand that it can make the stress of things like dating and not knowing if you will wind up dating a half sibling that much more apparent. Anyway, point being, avoid trauma around the kids finding out, make it as understandable as possible at the ages you are talking to them, and offer support or help and possibly DNA testing information as dating becomes an issue since it is available now.
As a soon to be recipient parent, this video was such a gift. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share your experiences and thoughts.
I agree 100%
I lost my ability to have children at the age of 20 due to relatively emergent ovarian surgery. My Husband and I are currently waiting on news regarding our donor egg embryos using his sperm. This whole process has been incredibly difficult and I have questioned if we are making the right choice as there are so many stories of hurt or angry DCP. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for this video. It has always been our intention to be open and honest with our children. We never want to hurt them. Watching your video has helped me to feel that we are making the right choice and guided us further on how to help our children. Thank you!
No son tus hijos. Basta ya, de hacer daño a las chicas jóvenes que donan óvulos, ignorando las consecuencias y a sus hijos.
@@Uber1937Eres un bot pago que escribe comentarios similares debajo de cada vídeo que habla sobre la donación de óvulos y esperma.
Katie you are lovely. Your parents are blessed to have such an understanding daughter.
Great to hear a positive take on the topic. So many hurt DC people cast their donor and their parents as villians. This is a worthwhile video.
I don't think it is so much that we feel our parents are villians, it is just traumatic to find out and is often not something that is talked about openly so a lot of us that were born into traditional families didn't receive any support to understand or navigate being DC as we got older and started dating etc. A lot of that (at least for those of us born in the 80s), was because they were told not to tell us. That left us dealing with a lot of the situations and explanations on our own. Whatever you choose to do, please don't lie to future offspring. It's a huge breaking of trust when you find out that the people you are supposed to be able to trust the most aren't who they've said they were.
Babies grow into adults with their own beliefs and opinions. A relative of ours used donor sperm to be a single mother. Her children grew up knowing this. However, as adults, neither approved of what she did, but understood why. Her daughter would of preferred to have a father in life, it didn't mean a biological father either, just a father because all her friends had close relationships with their father. Her son just thinks its ewww, but he is far more chill and cool about it. He has a good sense of humor. Both want to meet their donor and see if they have siblings. I believe the donors are anonymous and that was the deal at the time. Just be honest, no lies, and don't expect them to think the same as you do.
Thank you to you all for sharing your stories. You are beautiful people. This gives me courage to move forward with using donors.
Infórmate bien.
Thanks for making and sharing this video and thanks to the donor conceived children who took their time to speak about their experiences 🙏💕
For those seeing this later, the part mentioned around 34 minutes in about children finding out, please consider having a plan before going into this. I was told between 1st and 2nd grade when we were changing schools and it was traumatic on top of some other trauma events around the same time. Telling me as a reaction to something else wasnt a good plan. Also, I think it needs to be an ongoing subject. It does affect things like dating and choosing a partner, and brings a lot of unknowns. If you aren't bringing up the topic, they are likely going through it alone. It isn't a common thing, or at least it wasn't for me, and it was in the back of my mind. And please, always be honest. If they are asking how babies are born, bring it up. It might be as simple as there are lots of ways to have a baby, lots of people do this, but we had help from someone else. Being open at drs offices may also bring questions. But not hiding it there is also important for health records.
As a side note because I do seem to see a difference between my story and a lot of others, I am 40, and it does seem like the 20 years between people born around me and the young DC people that are starting to look (or not), it seems like people are much more open about it these days. Artificial Insemination was openly talked about for as long as I can remember among extended family, but from an animal perspective due to breeding programs on the dairy farm (and a large scale stud service that the family ran back in the 1940s). Maybe discussion of animals can make it easier if you have some of those examples around, but do understand that it can make the stress of things like dating and not knowing if you will wind up dating a half sibling that much more apparent. Anyway, point being, avoid trauma around the kids finding out, make it as understandable as possible at the ages you are talking to them, and offer support or help and possibly DNA testing information as dating becomes an issue since it is available now.