Being a gifted kid wrecked my 20s. Here's how I fixed it.
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- čas přidán 9. 12. 2023
- Growing up gifted stays with us a long time...
Resources referenced:
Why gifted kids are actually special needs - HealthyGamerGG ( • Why Gifted Kids Are Ac... )
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Who am I?
My name is Jin, and I'm an eye doctor and PhD student in 🇨🇦
Keep in touch?
IG: @jinwithaneye
As a “gifted” kid I have said the EXACT words “I could have done it if I tried” to myself more times than I can count. Learning to accept I’m more than the label and just a normal individual is difficult, but I’m improving. I never realized how damaging this quote is to me though. I really needed this video thanks
I ruined the 69 likes because I can relate
This mindset causes procrastinating... just like me fr fr 😂
@@violetta278 i put something like "1 hour of study per day"
@@violetta278 very dangerous mindset. Change it if you can as soon as possible
and how did you know you were gifted? just because you got good marks in your test.
"We go from talented kids to loser adults" was so real, I couldnt help laughing out loud
Yeah, solid line. Got me too
Went from laughing to crying real quick, ngl
Yep. That line is almost a palpable gut punch
so true
And it goes double if you're autistic...
For former gifted kids, “I am stupid” can be the most empowering words they can ever say.
I remind myself that i am just an insignificant speck, and no matter how smart I am, I will never have all the skills or knowledge in the world. I keep myself humble.
iq is real my dude
How the fuck do you become a 'former' gifted kid? Then you weren't gifted in the first place, rather, you excelled at understanding simple things better than your classmates at that time.
it is. i spent the whole of sixth form (16-18) trying to keep up appearances that i was still one of the "smart ones", thinking my friends would hate me if they knew how much i was really struggling to learn. all that really did was cause a major mental health breakdown and prevented me from being emotionally close to anyone. now i'm at university, and i'm not one of the smart ones, and that's okay. i am not under nearly as much pressure as i used to be to be "the best" and i can actually be myself and stop lying to people
@@alanisisamess8977 If you were struggling with high school of all things then you def should have dropped out of the "i am smart" camp.
I remember one single question completely changed my mindset on this sort of thing:
“Would you rather others see you as smart or a hard worker?”
And I had a moment where I realized ‘smart’ and ‘talented’ don’t really mean anything.
What matters is that you are a reliable, disciplined person other people can depend on.
what if my answer is smart 😭😭
Please don't be a "hard worker" in the working world though (unless it is your own business) -- you are gonna get used and abused so bad, before being tossed away because you break down. Aim to be average, good in your jobscope but unreliable in any other "extra work" -- and work on your own gig in your free time.
The burn out isn't worth it.
Same here
No, I don’t agree with that .If someone try hard and don’t win ,they will not be recognised .On the other hand,If we win with either low or high efforts, we will be praised.
You are partially true. Discipline and consistency can pay off
I have a young niece who I just try to instill this mindset into. I praise her a little for her results, but far more if she tells me or I know she practiced a lot to achieve her results.
It also hurts when people around you, especially adults, give most of their praise and attention when you’re showing your talents. It can feel like you only matter when you’re doing impressive things. If you don’t realize it, that belief can really bring you down.
And feeling like you only matter when you do impressive things definitely happens in the workplace...
OMG. This is EXACTLY what I needed!
I always could do things in school with low effort. Especially about math. But then I started studying in university and that time studying actually required me to start trying. I felt very bad about that, eventually I just "hid behind a shield "I could have done this if I tried", explaining to myself that I just don't need that exact "useless" stuff that they give me
You cannot imagine how much I regret being like that.
And here I am now, often labeling other people as "dumb" ones, internally refusing to accept the fact that I am just a normal person..
Yeah, I think it's time to change my personality a bit. Thank u for that video ^_^
self-awareness is always the first step! i'm sure you will figure things out for yourself in the end :) best of luck!!
same scenario for me right now. .what a coincidence!
Same Situation!
this is my exact situation omg. Except I'm not yet in my 20s. I'm trying to save myself from burn out before then.
Well, you could've done it if you tried. If trying meant putting in the work
I can remember always thinking "school isn't that hard, everyone else must just not be trying." Things came naturally to me. I almost never had to study for a test or rewrite an essay. And as a result, I never developed the ability to correct myself, rework ideas, and persevere when things got difficult. In my first year of college I realized just how important work ethic is. Like you say, talent only gets you so far. Thanks for articulating this idea so well.
Same. I still don’t have the study discipline and I am really struggling in electrical engineering rn
Absolutely! If you breeze through school effortlessly, it's not even slightly surprising that we'd assume **everything** is effortless. Furthermore, the trap deepens because we think if it isn't effortless then it isn't really worth the effort.
@@kdog3908 and also just not learning how to do hard things through effort. You get used to never being challenged so if something doesnt click immediately youre out of options but people who always had to struggle just keep studying until it works
The irony of thinking other people aren't trying enough when you're the one actually not trying
I relate to this HEAVILY. Throughout middle and high school I was labeled "the smart one" and truly believed I was naturally better at all academics. However, once genuine challenges arose I told myself a similar phrase. "I don't need to waste my energy on this, it's probably easy anyways."
With that mindset my progress stalled, I all of a sudden became an average student with little motivation to learn anything that I felt was "beneath me." My passion for learning slowly dissipated as classes got harder and harder until my grades inevitably slipped and I realized that I was just an average student with average problems and an average capacity to learn. Admittedly, I was hesitant to accept that fact given that it was the trait I valued most in myself, but once I did it became immensely easier to simply put effort into learning. I wish I could show this video to all the other gifted kids with the same problem because it seems to be so common, and it could have done so much for school-aged me
So relatable
its kinda sad seeing how i see myself fall from being the amazing gifted smart kid to an absolute loser who lost motivation on everything when challenges arose when i was literally looking at my hard working classmates as "they can work as hard as they want, being talented is only special to me and im getting far better socres than them with far less work" kind of attitude, the tables have turned quite hard and its kinda the opposite, its really funny how life can be so random and unexpected.
@@youregonnahaveaskeletontim1925 i relate to your comment so much, thank you.
I feel incredibly related to this. Now I'm struggling with school at such level I did never imagined before. No more recognition, no more facility to learn, just and average kid. It really hurts knowing that your most valuable characteristic just vanishes.
This is very relatable.
I used to be a topper before. But my internet addiction caused my downfall. And my laid-back carelessness from all the past success contributed to my downfall even more. Meanwhile my friends who'd look up to me started outgrowing me and it felt hella embarrassing.
Thank you for this video.
you're so welcome!
bro help me i am getting addicted to intertnt and i have the exact same mindset and u say some tips pls help me from this rabbithole@@DrJinKwon
i needed this so much , I was feeling bad about how I work comparing to others who certaintly are advanced than me in the journey of progress. Thank you Jin for posting this video I'm glad to know about such an incredible channel .
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Everybody definitely goes at their own pace - I'm sure you'll figure things out!
As a precocious kid who taught himself calculus 1 in 7th grade, this really hit home, especially the “ I could’ve done it if I tried “ excuse for not attempting hard stuff.
cheers - I know you’ll be able to put your talent to good use!
Lol i also taught myself calculus in 7th grade, what a coincidence
If you think you are gifted at just 7 grade for studying Calc 1, you're not is actually embarrassing to think cuz you watched at 7 grade clac1 you're gifted
For me it was sixth grade
@@skydivenext Is your comment supposed to be in English?
The “I could have done it if I tried” concept resonates! It’s almost intrusive and hard to shake off… this was enlightening! Thanks for sharing this Jin
Samin! Thanks so much man, hope you've been doing well!
I had this talk with someone else as well. I find myself incapable of hard work. If something doesn't come naturally to me, I'll just give up on it entirely, even if it's something I loved doing. The bit about '300 hobbies' hit real close to home.
The worst part for me was (and still is) the imposter syndrome. I've sat through so many "you are so talented/you are so gifted/you are a genius, if only you applied yourself..." conversations that it just ends up with imposter syndrome. I am constantly questioning myself and my own capabilities, questioning if I even deserve being called 'smart'. Even as I sit here, as a full-time university lecturer who's working on advancing his education, I still always feel like a fraudster. That I'm not gifted or talented, but that I've simply memorised enough catch-phrases and enhanced my linguistic capabilities enough to fool people. I'm not smart, I'm a con artist. That is truly an awful feeling.
End of my 20s I started falling behind in my career, and I sat down and really studied for 3 months (for the first time in my life), and allowing myself to fail as well, it was life changing!
that’s amazing - congratulations! way to turn things around
im seventeen, i used to be this gifted kid but ive started to say this to me every time. you CAN fail, but with that you MUST improve and not knowing since birth is okay. my parents would judge when i allowed myself to fail, but this life is mine, not theirs, and since i acknowledged that, life's been better ♡
that sounds like a great mindset!! :)
The only way you can learn something new is to fail at something you tried your best to achieve. If you didn't fail, then you didn't learn anything, your past experience was only validated by that success.
How are you supposed to learn something new without failing?
Failing is an important part of learning.
Have you ever watched a NileRed video?
@bobbobson6290 the thing is that when you grow up with parents that demand perfection, it is just unacceptable to fail. they wanted too much of me as a kid, and I grew wanting to do everything just to make people happy, even if it costs my mental health, I love NileRed, btw lol
@@bobbobson6290 I have parents like that. Very perfectionnist. Even if I had the highest grade in class, it was expected not an accomplishement. Everything I did had to be a success. "If you're not doing it perfectly why bother?" my mom's words. So yeah, some of us were raised to be that way, as adult we have to deconstruct this mentality and this process is very painful.
Accept failure might seems like a common sens knowledge but some of us weren't allowed to fail.
Please be more empathic to people who doesn't the same experience as you
This is exactly what happened to me, I used to be a banger in primary school and somewhat ranked #1 in a math competition in my country. I was so delusional back then, but then the math keeps getting harder and harder and in 8th grade, I'm not the one at the top anymore, barely qualified for my school's math team. That was the wake-up call for me and ever since then I learned how to be humble and completely changed, but what really sucks is the perfectionist mindset that my parents imposed on the "gifted" me still linger until now. I tried so so hard to get a B+ and dad just casually said such a shame I didn't get enough to make it to A, that's why Asian parents suck. Still love my parents tho, but I wish they just praised me more or recognized my hard work instead of just saying that I have to do that much because I have talents :(
parents always want what's best for us! that can be a tough expectation to live up to sometimes, though :( all the best to you, friend! I know you'll figure things out :)
@@DrJinKwon thanks a lot bro, was just a little bit excited to see another one like me so I commented a wall of text lmao
Yeah I really wish more adults and parents would realize your kid isn’t “failing their potential”. People just aren’t robots. You can try your damndest and not be perfect.
@@DeathnoteBB So true man
@@DrJinKwon they want whats best for their pride too, often i see it trumps any sort of love of care. why so many asian students end up dead after exams
Something that took me a while to learn is how to ask for help, and that doing so is okay. One consequence of labelling yourself as smarter than others is a feeling of shame when it comes to asking for help, as you feel like you shouldn't need it and that it somehow devalues your talent.
This man!!! It feels like I’ll die before I can ask for actual help i.e I can’t understand this, could you please explain this concept.
exactly this!!
THIS
I was 2E (twice exceptional, meaning both gifted and disabled)
Most adults look at how these kids perform in some areas and think "clearly, they are capable."
But 2E kids are disabled and need accommodations like any other, yet most don't receive help because their giftedness masks their struggles and the kids fly under the radar.
When I think about how I was overlooked, I feel devastated.
Regardless, I am an adult now so I have the responsibility to fix these things. This video definitely opened up my mind about this stuff, so thank you!
this resonates with me so much. my body is literally so broken down from being disabled but being gifted meant nobody seen anything wrong.
Think I was one of these but alas, it was the 90s
I am fourteen years old, often labelled as "gifted." I have struggled much in my current grade, and my underperformance is guided by a terrible attention span, which is often accompanied by listless thoughts that place no blame upon myself. Thank you for uploading this.
thanks so much for leaving a comment! I’m sure you’ll figure things out - best of luck to you, friend!
That ain't normal, you should go to a therapist to see what the condition is
@@jenkathefridge3933 i don't think everything is a condition (not saying you were saying that) but i think this is part of normal development for some people. it's just about adapting to your surroundings (although we weren't given much information, probably on purpose)
@@jenkathefridge3933it may not be normal, but it might as well be the norm
@@raeplaysval but having a low attention span isn't normal
‘you are a normal person who is stupid and you need to put in effort’ - i am so happy to hear that. i’ve been feeling like a failure recently in all categories, what made me the proudest is now turning extremely hard, it isn’t coming so naturally anymore. i am trying to learn from the people around me.
It's really interesting because all that idea gives me is fear . I feel like I'm just not capable of finishing anything, when others know how to.
@@TheLily97232 the only reason people ‘finish’ is because they see don’t see success an end but a consistent constant learning and refining process
only those who don’t understand the effort would see it as a finish
those who understand will respect the drive required
I'm in highschool now, and I'm starting to recover from being "gifted" and "smart" this whole time; putting effort in how I study is a never-ending struggle.
I wish I had trouble in school ever since the begginning, sometimes. It would've taught me to put more effort into things.
This video hit me pretty hard, I grew up being told I was the best artist in my entire school and had incredible imagination and talent. However, I let me ego run and ended up falling behind many art students I used to look down on. As I started to struggle in school, I went from the gifted kid who was gonna do great things to this nobody and I felt awful. I kept telling myself that I’m incredibly gifted and I can beat anyone in the field of art if I just try hard enough. But I later ended learning I wasn’t gonna become anything if I just keep making excuses when I struggle. I think this video had been eye opening because we’re always told the perspective from the talentless kid who raised to the top in the media but never the perspective of the kid who was talented at a young age but ended up falling behind in life.
i'm sure you're gonna figure things out!
Internet amplifies what Jin was talking about, because in here we often see plenty of gifted people and think it's the norm. Truth is, it still isn't.
But to actually stand out in the middle of every gifted person, you should try being unique in a way. Hard of a thing to achieve but for very smart people it's possible, and like Jin also said, you can only achieve this with hard work.
Either by you know, learning from other people or practicing a lottt. I've been developing a game for 4 months now and I'm nowhere close to a pro, I just got to end of the intermediate level, moving on to more advanced topics now but still a beginner compared to lots of other people.
There is just so much stuff to learn. 😅
Something similar happened to me and because of that I started hating painting. I remember the day I dropped out of painting classes and refused to go to big art competition for my school. My parents were upset my teacher too., but I felt most relieved then ever like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. It has been 5 years since still haven't touched painting
Sorry bad English
I'm 29, and I felt this motivation! I was the gifted kid, but life happened and I had to take care of my family, and that caused me to put college on the back burner. But, I'm going back to school now to get my B.S. in 2024. This was a another great push for me! Thank you kind Sir!
This makes so happy. Im 27 and have been out of uni for a while but still think every other day of going back. I know I will go back and finish.
Wow I relate a lot and now that I'm older, I realize this is the source of my struggles. I don't think I was a "gifted kid" per say, but it was easy for me back in elementary school until high school to get decent grades, I got used to being first in class at almost all subjects. I was the shy smart girl in the class, and from the outside no one could tell I was never giving it my 100%. Did not help at all that my brother was also a smart kid, the pressure to always be at the top was big. Truth is I was always doing things last minute and procrastinating to study, but it somehow worked, until architecture school lol. That was brutal, the sheer amount of work crushed me, as someone who never learned to work hard. I don't even know how I was able to graduate with the way I was doing things. I remember I even thought why were the others able to work so "easily" on their projects while I was struggling so bad to even get started? Nowadays I still haven't learnt to work hard for what matters to me, getting really motivated at the beginning of passion projects or at work, but getting bored and discouraged as soon as hard work is needed. I'm tired of being bored of things and being lazy all the time. I even though I had Adhd, thinking it was the source of everything. But I think it's this "gifted or smart kid" thing, combined with the past pressure of having to put on a facade for asian parents and bring good grades home, without so much as compliments or encouragements, as if it was the norm. I dreaded not being able to bring good grades home, so I hid my struggles for the longest time. I'm finally understanding where this is all coming from and trying to work on this. Accepting that I am really no better than anyone, but it's not easy, this "gifted kid" thing is still engrained in me, in a subconscious level, I think I still believe I'm talented in some area like art, and it's hindering me a looooot to start working hard for what I want. But I know I have to let go of this label otherwise I'll be stuck forever. Thank you for your video :) I wish there were more talks on this, especially in the asian community.
Exactly how i am feeling rn. Trying to be better but a part of me always think s i am better than most..
@@pritomg.5932 It's definitely not easy :') Letting go of the ego and all that jazz, but you are self-aware and that's a very good step already. Wishing you all the best!
@@Chuyuyuyu Thanks , I'm trying really hard to get out of my comfort zone and put the hard work in but then some days there's a burst of emotions and I feel like giving up again. But this time I have decided to push through whatever happens and complete whatever I am doing in life. Even though I am still procrastinating and wasting time and thinking about those bad consequences I feel way better and determined than ever before. Thanks again and wishing you all the best too.
@@pritomg.5932 Thank you so much! And I totally get you, we need such a huge shift in mindset in order to keep going, it helps to tell myself that such a big change is not going to happen overnight, it's a constant battle with my old ways of living, so being self-aware is key and setting all sort of tools to keep myself in check xD I'm also in a period of my life where I really want to push through for once. At least even if you are procrastinating, you are going forward and it's all that matters.
I know this exact feeling. Although lifelong imposter syndrome has always prevented me from seeing myself as intelligent or competent, up until now, I have never had to actually try. And I'm terrified to. I'm terrified at the reality that I have always wanted to be a writer yet am too afraid at not being good enough to even begin. And people still expect me to be the smart, unproblematic one. I have let everyone down and tricked them into thinking I'm smart. I'm not. There really is no such thing as being "smart" anyways, there are too many ways to be intelligent to track, and most of the time we mean educated. But I continue to trick them. I have wasted school by coasting by on how easy it was instead of actually trying to learn and now I am paying the price.
thanks so much for sharing. it definitely takes courage to try knowing you can fail, but we can figure it out! best of luck, friend :)
Ouch, that sounds all too familiar
I think part of true intelligence is recognizing how much there is to know. Much like Socrates saying to the oracle at Delphi "the only thing I know is that I know nothing" after she labeled him the smartest man in Greece--in the same way, while others may see us as smart, I think our desire to reject that notion comes from an understanding of how ignorant we all truly are.
@@beantreats The unfortunate part of this is knowing how it works. The Dunning-Kruger effect might suggest that my awareness of how little I know actually points towards intelligence, but what if, because I know of the effect, I am subconsciously trying to appear smarter, which actually makes me less knowledgeable, because I believe that I know enough to know my place on the scale, which actually puts me back?
@@beaterofeggs lol, feigning ignorance in order to feign intelligence, that's a new one. While certainly possible, it's action that matters. Socrates may have professed his own ignorance, but the majority of his thoughts and words were still devoted to seeking truth. If you are simply walking around proclaiming your ignorance all of the time, then it might be a bit performatory and self-delusional lol
Definitely the issue with myself. I live in SEA, before high school i was always the top student without putting in much efforts. English as a second language is far too easy for me, my English back in 6th grade even surpassed most high schoolers. But i started to feel the heat after high school, and so i keep making excuses, lying to myself. It doesn't come easy but after almost 7 years of wasting my potential in University that i started to realize my problem. Thank you Jin and hope my story can help younger folks in the comment
it's not too late! you've got this!
if you can how old are you now?
@@aer_love_ i'm 25
"You are a normal person that is stupid sometimes, and you need to put in effort to achieve anything" is an amazing summary of the realizations I've encountered in my most recent years as a third-year undergrad
I liked the points you make in the video!!! The part where you say that the « dumb » kids LEARNED to work hard is so true. I wasnt the most gifted but it definitely was too easy sometimes and now i feel like nothing is easy anymore. Btw: I really like your hand writing!!
thanks so much!! hopefully my handwriting was legible!
@@DrJinKwon it is!!!!! Its really aesthetic hehe
Hey! Sorry to butt in here but the word d*mb used to be a slur for mute people. The word l*me was a slur for people who can’t walk. I’m only telling you this so you can search up non-ableist language. I feel like ‘non-gifted’ would fit better here anyways.
@@shark_boytoy thanks so much for your input!
@@DrJinKwon np! Mine of my special interests is Discrimination in History.
I was lucky in high school there was an even smarter kid (he moved to my area, all the other kids I grew up with). I remember he won the top student every year and even apologized to me for 'taking it'. I told him, without him I would have never pushed myself and achieved so much.
In University, however, exactly what you described happened to him, kinda. He went from top student to a B average. While I had really learnt how to study back in highschool and managed straight As.
At Uni, I observed the top students all worked hard, and the very top students had a little bit of talent/gift to give them that additional edge.
Another factor is doing what you enjoy, so you naturally want to work hard. That really allows you to hyper focus and achieve what others cant.
Hi fellow burnt out gifted kids! I love you all, I hope you’re doing well, and please remember you *are* enough. You are more than your ability to perform academically. Be kind to yourselves. 💜
Just realized that you know nothing, and you're good to go. Unfortunately, "burn out gifted kids" are too arrogant to acknowledge that.
“Compared to these people, you’re nothing special.” That line stings yet at the same time, it’s the line that helps get through roadblock since you don’t feel crushed by your potential, but rather, learn that you have the right to fail. You’re allowed to struggle, you’re allowed to be a screw up.
Thanks man, this was much needed
It's crazy how i could relate to basically everything, from not having to struggle growing up, i developed bad habits like not being disciplined
I always turned in my homework late, because i knew the teachers would let it slide
I became that kid who isnt disciplined but would always come at the top of class
From having a lot of hobbies, being easily distracted these days, giving the excuse of "i could have done this if i wanted to", this video was so on point
It's crazy how u were able to describe so many people
Let’s be real. This is a problem with a school system which has no idea how to challenge intelligent students. The “gifted kid” problem only exists because our system isn’t challenging for those students. Gifted kids in a very challenging system have to learn how to “try and work hard”.
This happened in highschool. For the first time ever, I wasn't the best performing guy in the room since it was the honors class. I kept getting discouraged because I assumed it was because they were smarter than me and I had just lost and had no confidence in my ability anymore. But, it was really just the fact that a lot of them were not only smart, but worked hard too. That's why I was getting left behind. So now that I'm in uni, I just assume I'm the dumbest kid in the room and work my butt off everyday until I can confidently say I am ahead. And yeah, the 300 hobbies thing is true. You get into this cycle of starting something, quickly grasping it, then quitting once it requires too much effort. This really sucks because now that I am trying to learn specifc things, I still have the nasty habit of getting lazy once it gets difficult, even if I know exactly what I have to do. Like now, I'm supposed to be studying for a certification exam, but I'm commenting on a YT video with an unnecessarily extensive comment.
I went from failing to having good grades to failing again...Life feels hard when your motivation runs out but you motivated me again! Thank you
I'm so glad you found it helpful! best of luck to you!
Always love to see your videos. Each shot is so intentional. The story always rounds out with an actionable solution and mindset shift. Hope to see your page grow!
Awwww, thank you so much!! Honestly it's hearing from you (and other viewers) that you find the videos at least a little fun and helpful that keeps me going! Your support really means a ton to me!
Learning to try to have a growth mindset and learning to accept/attempt failure made all the difference for me in college. People do have different opportunities and start in different places but we can “prepare to get lucky” and work hard for when we do find those opportunities.
You'll simply realize that the actual smart thing to do is to be humble, and get the things done. I didn't realize college(engineering) was even remotely hard conceptually and technically until I realize I was also studying hard as well as having strong intuition and talent. I have escaped my loser mentality and I will not let anyone beat me again that I will make this "I could've done it" excuse.
Yes, we can learn and do whatever we want but until we actually do, it doesn't matter. We need to get stuff done and stop being a loser haha🎉
Being humble in the term of dropping ego is good tactic to accept new information for different scenarios or subjects. Just do it and trust the process along the way. Personally after COVID i realised that best friends/colleagues or student buddies trying to reach the same goal standards is the best motivation during school/engineering uni/work
@@1callmaster Agree, I always heard this "trust the process" and never appreciated it until it works with my discipline. I just stop being too rational and just get things done. This also applies to fitness, hobby, etc. goals.
I hope I can surround myself too with like minded individuals.
Can we stop calling people "loosers" as a starter ? Its weird lol
Having adequate challenges early in life also helps. My school has always encouraged me to take part in all sorts of state-level academic competitions, where I suddenly was not the smartest kid
Man, I can't stress enough how relatable that was to me. I never thought about myself as a gifted child but I certainly resonate with the 'I could have done it if I tried'. I don't remember putting effort on pretty much anything when I was younger and when I started college the only thing moving me to study was the fear of failing a subject. My grades were pretty average and I couldn't see a way to improve on anything that I liked due to the same lie: 'I could have done it if I tried'. Thank you for the video my friend, I will be rethinking a lot of my life right now.
This topic is pretty sensitive indeed. I just like how you did shed light in it, throughout my experiences i have always thought that having different kind of knowledge and doing as least as possible yet managing to get good scores is the key to winning in life, but after watching your video and confronting myself, i have got to realise that im not special at all, neither anyone is, we're just normal human beings trying. In order for you to get better in life, you should put some effort, screw comfort zone, screw excuses, and screw putting the blame on others! You're responsible for your own actions. I hope we all get to understand this message deeply and work ourselves hard in order to get in better positions in life. Wishing you all and me Good luck 🌹
So true Jin. Great perspective.
Thanks again for your advice via instagram the other day too. You’re hard work has started to make a loyal audience base 🤝🏽
my pleasure, dude! best of luck to you :)
i needed this video. i’ve been really struggling with finding motivation and thinking i should get stuff easy. university is hard, and you really need to put in the work, which we’re not used to doing. you helped me change my mindset, i feel motivated to work more now. thank you
"Gave me the permission to fail". Really needed to hear that. Growing up academically smart makes you believe that you can't fail, atleast never in your professional/academic life. And when you do, the pain is unbearable.
I am a teenager who is kinda in the same spot. I never really had to try very hard in school, but now I have to take exams and I’m finding it difficult to find motivation to try. Some part of me just expects me to ace every exam, but it is clear that is not the case. Thanks for this video man, good job.
Thank you so much, this is the first time I truly feel like someone called me out on my bullshit and I really needed it. If it wasn't for this video I would never have gotten out of the cycle of procrastinating and living in the delusion that I am still that smart kid from highschool.
cheers, friend! i'm so glad you found it helpful!
@@DrJinKwon It has been a whole month and I still replay this video every time I start to fall into my old ways. When you said that you had to re-assess yourself to realize that you were just a regular person who had to work as hard as anyone else really connected with me :)
Really loved this video Jin.
I considered myself gifted for the past 13 years of my life and now (this year)I am struggling. I am lagging behind my peers at school. At first, I used to cheer myself up with excuses like "Oh! I didn't try that's why" but the real problem lay in my ego and mindset. You gave me a lot of motivation and I am looking forward to working harder than ever from tomorrow. Wish me, man!
Thanks for making the video so concise and not dragging it out for 10+ minutes
It's my first time seeing your video. great efforts. I feel so nice after seeing a video like this and knowing I am not alone. You are right i should start treating myself in a normal way. THANK YOU!!!
thank you so much for sharing and for your kind words!! :) I'm so glad it helped you feel better
It's amazing that I'm finding your channel at this point in my life, I experience this multiple hobby thing, but mine is reallly chronic. It has gotten to a point that after I have done a lot of "work" trying a lot of things, I would just sit and ask myself, what have I achieved? the answer - absolutely nothing. Its really depressing because I just keep ingesting words but not turning them into info as other kids who have actually learnt how to do this autopilot do. The worst part is the comparison to others, really really painful. Hopefully I can grow out of this phase of my life.
thanks so much for sharing, friend. this is definitely a difficult thing to work through - I think I can understand, at least a little. While comparing yourself to others can be motivational sometimes, I do think sometimes it's helpful to keep in mind that everybody goes at their own pace. It's your journey, after all. If you're not happy with where you're at, self-awareness is always a good first step! I'm sure you'll be able to figure things out - wishing the best for you!
this sounds a lot like having an intense, or hyper interest in a subject
@@v.k.3115 yeah, it's like I don't have a fixed interest. I see things that attract me and I immediately rush into it, when I realize how much work I have to put in, I kinda slow down then I see another one that piques my interest and I start panicking and end up doing nothing.
@@brainboxtayo5592 I am the same in that regard. I have over 100 books and notebooks in my bedroom alone. I have started many video games and passion projects. It is hard for me to settle down and stick to “just one thing.” Is this similar to your experiences in life?
Damn, I really needed this. Thank you Jin, you deserve many more viewers for the quality of this succinct video.
i'm so glad you found it helpful!
You are so good, I'm so grateful for this, man.❤
i'm so glad you liked it!
Thank you for this. I've always been labeled as 'the smart kid' for years, and whenever I underperform my confidence decreases. For my parents, trying my best is never enough. You're either a 100% or a fail. I can't keep up anymore. I'm a horrible procrastinator. Sometimes I want to be average. How can I fix my procrastination?
I was dumped in the gifted program too but I struggle just as much in university as I did in high school. This is probably because I learned the exact lesson of this video pretty early on. My gifted test scores were all average, and the only thing which put me over the threshold was my memory. Learned pretty early on that memorizing does not mean that you can APPLY the concepts, so the “gifted kid” spiral didn’t hit as hard for me as it did for some of my other friends in university.
I LOVE your visuals, narration style, and the overall production value of this video along is simply masterfully produced.
thanks so much! i'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for putting this into words. My "giftedness" has always been a detriment to my personal growth, since I learn initial skills fast and then give up when I actually have to try. In the later stages of realizing I had this mindset I started feeling bad for myself and how "unlucky" I was for having been gifted, hence not having learned to work hard. And then I realized that was also a bad mindset to have, but it took quite a while to fix it. I'm doing quite better now after self-reflecting as well. It's all just a mental battle!
this is literally what i am writing my college application essay about. thank you
that's awesome! best of luck with your applications!!
thank you! ig ill update you on what I commit to!@@DrJinKwon
i was like this until medical school started. Honestly first year was kinda easy because we had sooo much time to study in our hands but this year (2nd year in medical school) things didnt go too well. i failed 2 exams already because i didnt work as hard the other people. but i'm trying my best this time and im hoping for the best. my exam is this thursday, pray for me 🤲
best of luck!! you got this!
Thank you so much. Much needed message. You exactly pointed everything out about how I feel and where the problem lies.
Thanks for this. I realised this after nearly failing my PhD. :) Although I think there is also an element of ADHD paralysis in me. I am mostly functional, but that's because all the coping strategy I have in place / somehow I just get away with things. Good luck in your own journey! You have earned my subscription.
I was a gifted kid but also have imposter syndrome so I end up working hard so "people don't find out I'm actually dumb"
me not being a "gifted kid" but still messing up my 20s
The first minute and a half is exactly my life! Never resonated so much with a video before! Thanks for sharing, it will be surely useful! ❤
Great video Jin! Thanks for sharing this relatable insight. 🙏
Glad you enjoyed it!
i know you mentioned why you quit optometry school in your other videos, but I was wondering what you hate about it the most? I'm currently thinking of attending waterloo (even though its competitive) for optometry school and would like some of your insight on it
I didn't hate optometry school - I just don't think it was the best fit for me! The most difficult part for me was the focus on memorizing disease presentations and treatments instead of understanding how diseases occur and treatments work. But given the amount of information we have to know, I can understand why this was the approach.
This is always an interesting phenomenon, I was never a “gifted” kid and didn’t learn subjects easily, so throughout HS I would be studying for hours to get good grades. Being honor roll and in a merit program It was crazy seeing some of my peers sort of just whimsically coast on by with excellent grades just on what seemed like pure intuition or talent or something. Those guys didn’t study particularly hard and it did always surprise me.
As a result learning about that giant brick wall gifted kids tend to slam into once they’re adults came as a big shock
Love your video dude! This really inspired me to not give up 🤩
Thank you for making this into a 3 minute video instead of stretching it out to 30 like just about every other ive seen. Very good message told succinctly
Hardwork beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
This video emphasizes what happens when talent works hard. No level of hardwork from a regular individual would compare.
As a Rick and Morty viewer, I can relate to this.
This is nice especially since you were inspired by DrK. I had this talk with my therapist years ago but I never got around to learning how to study, and it’s been an interesting and amazing journey since i started the odd couple weeks ago. Buts still hard, I’ve been trying to see different paths laid out in from of me from people and characters that I love and it’s been nice to not just have a instinctive understanding but wanting to look deeper and deeper beyond that.
Thank you for sharing your experience, not having the need to put any effort in studying when i was young I am now struggling to keep up in college and started being discouraged and having a lot of absenteeism. I m trying to change myself little by little, it's encouraging and inspiring to hear people who have gone through the same things.
I don’t know why this came up in my feed and now I feel attacked 🙈
Also kinda crazy how many people in your friends group eventually in their 20s get diagnosed with a bunch of neurodivergent conditions, be it adhd or autism or something else. Totally not speaking from experience 😅
definitely relatable!
man thanks for this vid... it really resonated with me and its so high quality. subscribing
cheer bro! really appreciate the support and I’m so glad you liked it!
Thank you for this, I’m in the middle of this mindset shift and it doesn’t happen overnight! I just remind myself of these very fundamental truths (which, for being supposedly so smart, we have overlooked) and I’m on the path to being a hard worker!
You really don't know how blessed I am that this video showed up in my recommendations. I'm struggling through university right now, bombing assignments and missing due dates because I keep telling myself that "I could do if I really tried." Reality is, I wasn't trying because I really was afraid. So thank you 😭 knowing others have got through what I'm going through is really encouraging!
It's incredibly relatable, it almost mirror my experience as well. Thank you for the video!
Thanks for watching!
This is advice that I definitely need, and decent timing too. In the past year, I’ve struggled at math (calc) for the the first time and man it is not fun. I did exactly that and just dismissed it as “could easily do it if I tried.” I’ve heard this kind of talk before, but this is in a very effective and concise form. Thanks!
in med school rn and this hit home. ive always been the smart kid and things naturally came easier to me. wasnt until a recent exam, where everyone including the kids who i believed weren't that smart, did well. i realized i really need to work. im a hard worker so putting in the effort isnt a problem. i just don't know how to do things differently when i get stuck. i am working on it tho. allowing myself to fail. not making any excuses either. im giving the exam again and hopefully it goes well this time. thanks for the vid. lovely reminder.
This hit home, thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth!!
Thanks for watching!!
Thanks to pass the message. I have actually gone through the same reasoning and. Yes it's good to feel that you go forward again after some years of failing and giving up, you feel less and less gifted but it is much more rewarding as time goes by and you still keep your talent, but it's not your main "source" of success and you will feel proud of yourself of what you have achieved at the end. So keep struggling it's worth it.
Jin this is exactly what I needed because I'm a first year student in college Thank you ❤ Thank you so much
you’re so welcome!! :)
BRO U OPENED MY EYES, THIS VIDEO WAS A BIG HELP. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN ALL UR ENDEVEOURS!!!!
I'M SO GLAD BRO! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AS WELL!!
Wonderful video. I had come to this realization just before watching this video. But the way you said it was so organised and straight forward. Thank you
Great video!
What's helping me be more productive and trying harder on things is the realization that time, as a resource, is much more valuable than base intelligence or talent. And in every expertise, time spent adapting and learning as best as you can, will always outweigh raw talent with no time put in. Every expertise is dominated by experience and learning first, and talent gives you the upper hand only after that experience is gained. Talent supplements the fundamentals, not the other way around.
And another thing, because of this realization I'm starting to shake off the toxic thoughts about how someone else could've done this or that much faster, so there's no point doing it. It doesn't matter if someone could've done it faster, the primary resource is time, and since you put more time in something, you are better than them at it, plain and simple. Not to mention the fact that the other talented person probably lacks the motivation and drive that you had to really catch up to you.
If you're trying to be the best at something, it's a different story, but sheer effort and time put in is more than enough in most cases to make you an expert in the subject.
Hi Jin, this was a great video. Keep it up!
Thank you so much for this video, so well narrated and edited
OMG so true, this helped me so much, I'm so grateful , thanks for sharing this, I think I'm gonna be a part of the 20 thing community 💚🍀
I’m so glad!! 😊
I feel like this resonated with me in a way I wasn't entirely prepared for.
After looking at myself through a lens of criticism, I've learned to focus on the things I want to do but can't yet, and understand that I will get there with time and effort.
In an attempt to further humble myself, I have started looking to surround myself with people I see as more "savvy" or "capable" than I am. This helps me get my foot in the door with those hard projects where I don't know how or where to start; and would otherwise give up. Instead, I look at what these other people have done and take inspiration. Even ask for help sometimes.
And more importantly, I'm in an environment where I can't really label myself as talented seeing as everyone else is better than me at at least one thing.
Thanks for this.
I am rewatching this after knowing I screwed my chances of getting into med school. I did try, gave it my all but still I couldn't . From being a gifted, smart kid to a unimpressible burnt out 20 year old, the journey has been difficult. I disappointed my dad big time and I disappointed myself too. As a kid who gained validation from being academically excellent, I knew this day would someday come but didn't expect it to be so soon.
I'll be turning 21 when the autumn comes, with nothing left for me to look forward to. I gave up all my interests, hobbies just so I could make my parents "PROUD" thought that if two people can be happy out of my misery, why not?
But all that amounted to nothing, absolutely nothing.
I don't intend on staying this way, I've learned my lesson now I will be doing things my own way and what I want. I will let myself be a disappointment in the eyes of everyone, I don't care anymore. Even if this means that I need to stay away from my dad and what I used to call "home". I love my family I really do but I hate being home. I am tired of feeling miserable all the time.
To everyone out there who are struggling, stay strong. You don't need to be gifted, excellent and all those fancy words to feel worthy of love. You can give yourself the love that you need and do what you want.
Life isn't easy and life is definitely not fair but I will give myself a chance and see where it takes me. From now on, I will be working on myself and just focus on my happiness.
learning how to stop judging other people's hobbies as not intellectual or a waste of time was a huge hurdle for me to overcome and it really opened my mind. I stopped being so closed off from people, seeking to understand rather than rejecting right away, opening up my mind to new beliefs about myself and other. its a tough road but not the hardest one we've been on, good luck.
I am so thankful to all the artists I've met over the years that inspired me to pick up drawing myself and motivated me to keep going. The fulfilling struggle of making art is a humbling experience because it's one of the hobbies where you can see both flaws and progress very easily. There's still a bit of that gifted curse and I see it pop up every now and then but art really taught me how to struggle correctly and I don't know where I'd be rn without it
Straight Forward Video Without Bragging About Anything, Precise Knowledge. Loved It! 💖
cheers!
i am actually going through this phase exactly like what you said 100% Woah finally someone who gets it. Thank you so much, seeing this video in my all time lowest point of my life actually make me want to try again!
Thank you so much, it is very hard to find ppl with the same issue around ppl that I know ❤
Yep I got the idea. However I implemented this from a couple of months ago, and I can say, this is the best way to fix this. Thank you so much for showing it to the rest of humanity!
cheers!
Thank you for this video, Jin! I'm yet another former gifted kid adding their story in the comments section.
I've started to piece this revelation together on my own, so it's nice to hear an outside voice back up the thoughts I've been having.
Gifted kid in school, I don't think I ever learned how to actually study because concepts came to me very easily and I just memorised everything. I remember getting really upset in highschool the few times that I struggled with a concept (long division, chemistry, physics) and just dropping those subjects instead of trying harder. I was so used to getting top marks that I had no idea how to actually absorb and apply criticism. University was actually hard but whenever I got feedback on an assignment I mostly glossed over it and figured if I "tried harder" or didn't procrastinate until the last minute, my grades would improve - or, I could coast through with memorising.
Fast forward and I have a chronic illness now so nothing ever comes to me easily, and everything takes careful planning and long-term, sustained effort, which I am only now learning that I suck at. I'm sure I disappoint some people because of the powerhouse of opportunities that I used to be.
I'm learning to make peace with where and who I am now, in the face of the expectations of others. Radical self-love while also allowing myself to be flawed is hard freaking work, but honestly this is the most effort I've ever put into anything ever and it is an ongoing and impressive accomplishment.
thanks so much for sharing your story! i'm so sorry to hear that your health has not been the best but i'm so glad to hear that you've learned to make peace with yourself. wishing you all the best!
Lovely video dude, made me smile! Keep it up
thank you so much man!!
Wow... rarely a youtube video hit me that hard. School was never really hard for me and I aswell have the mindset of myself being smarter and more talented than others. This year I started to study and I crashed to the ground pretty much. I didnt put in the hard work I should have had and searched for excuses.
I really needed this video and I will try to change starting today. You deserve many more subs!
best of luck on your journey, friend! you've got this! :)
Thank you, this helped me a lot hearing it from another person. Close to finishing my bachelors and I gave up basically 2 months ago, this gives me a little bit of motivation that I need right now.