i made all the "best" decisions. it ruined my 20s.

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  • čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
  • We all want to make the best decisions for ourselves. But what does it cost?
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Komentáře • 53

  • @evindrews
    @evindrews Před 5 měsíci +27

    wow I didn't think other people had this issue! definitely growing up with like, reddit, I slowly started to co-opt my own decision making to others, in the idea that they were better / smarter / etc. It's taken a lot of de-programming realizing that random internet strangers aren't smart and have it figured out, just because they seem to be. It's helped my confidence immensely.

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci +1

      can definitely relate to reddit rabbit holes

  • @stjx
    @stjx Před 5 měsíci +19

    I also optimized all these small things in life and I had a different reaction: the small things felt super optimized and great making me think my life was great while putting off making the big decisions, now I’ve shifted my priorities

  • @weer4853
    @weer4853 Před 5 měsíci +9

    You are literally living my life

    • @weer4853
      @weer4853 Před 5 měsíci +1

      This is really helpful thanks

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci

      so glad you liked it!

  • @DaveyRat
    @DaveyRat Před 5 měsíci +19

    Yeah I definitely do the same thing. Thanks for helping me realise my problem.

  • @marvinmeng7213
    @marvinmeng7213 Před 5 měsíci +4

    This is a problem I'm currently dealing with, it bothers me most with my career / life purpose journey (I'm a data scientist / AI person); I'm always worried about making a definite choice for fear that there is a "better choice" that I just didn't see yet. Unfortunately that stops me from making any choices, so I feel like I'm stagnating in an "okay" position but it's holding me back from doing better things, and keeps me from getting the experience I need to progress. A lot of people with this problem say "perfect is the enemy of good" or "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly", as a motivation to just start doing things instead of waiting for the perfect situation, so I'm trying to adopt this mentality as well.
    Appreciate the video, it's nice to know other people have similar struggles and are making improvements!

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci

      hey marvin. really appreciate you sharing your story, and glad you liked the video!

  • @srob6168
    @srob6168 Před měsícem

    I am 18 now. Always i try to make a decision i am like "i need to make the best one, i have the potencial!" It takes me time and time till i am forced to make a decision, and feel guilty for not choosing when i had the chance, but also notice that not making the best one wasn't that bad...

  • @Nathanator
    @Nathanator Před 5 měsíci +4

    Literally came at the best time, I started falling into this mindset this semester to try and fully optimize everything, and all it did was make me anxious and indecisive. Thank you so much for this video, you just saved me from going down a much more stressful path

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci

      so glad you found it helpful! the start of the semester is definitely a tough time. rooting for you, mate!

  • @bonniepywong5208
    @bonniepywong5208 Před 5 měsíci +7

    Thank you, this came at the right time, really close to heart - I thought I was born indecisive. As a senior, I can't even finish my assignments and exams on time as I was 'trying not to do the wrong one.' By breaking down the situation, you gave me a better picture which I can work towards. I'll try out your method, and see how it goes :)
    Again, thank you, and have a wonderful day! Never stop making vids.

    • @bonniepywong5208
      @bonniepywong5208 Před 5 měsíci

      In other words, it's the sense of letting go, isn't it?

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci +1

      thanks so much for your support! i'm so glad you found it helpful :)

  • @L.I.T.H.I.U.M
    @L.I.T.H.I.U.M Před 5 měsíci +2

    But for some people the cost of making a bad decision is a lot higher than others. If you can fail more while getting a second chance there's no reason not to opt for trial and error.

  • @wangyeelinpamela
    @wangyeelinpamela Před 3 měsíci

    and then it turns out the best thing is actually not that great because it was just heavily promoted

  • @b_g_ji
    @b_g_ji Před 5 měsíci +2

    It's like you and me are living the exact same life but in different parts of the world, especially this video and being a gifted kid wrecked my 20s video. All the best to you, keep making these videos!

  • @ritchiart
    @ritchiart Před 5 měsíci +1

    Extremely relatable to doing meticulous research before buying something from the internet xd Great camerawork!

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci

      thanks so much! glad you found it relatable haha

  • @Cryptx1
    @Cryptx1 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Thank you. I am almost crying bc this is the same thing that happened to me.

  • @nerradexe7608
    @nerradexe7608 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Really appreciate this short video you put out here. I was in the middle of reorganising my life and I struggled making decisions because I wanted the "best" outcome. Ironically, I would procrastinate/waste time making up my choices.
    Btw you're unique in creating these types of videos where they are short but not in the form of YT shorts.

  • @Arcaryon
    @Arcaryon Před 5 měsíci +1

    I think that it’s quite interesting to note how modern this kind of problem is in terms of the possible scale of afflicted individuals in the general population. What used to be a niche issue reserved for the most important decision makers and most highly esteemed academics for millennia is now considered the norm for many individuals.
    Those unlucky enough to not have a clear path due to passion or ability etc. are arguably the first in an environment where the fairly rapid development of AI is already threatening entire branches of what only decades ago was still considered a secure work environment.
    As members of fairly cooperative although also of course also partially even internally competitive competitive societies, recognising this kind trend early and finding solutions now may help others who will struggle even more in the future because the viable options for even more people will become even more limited and despite having less variables, the increasing lack of good moves will hurt a lot of people all over the globe and especially in the states / regions at the forefront of the new wave of progress.
    PS:
    Thank you kindly for making this video and this entire channel - the quality is excellent.

  • @secondalexander3541
    @secondalexander3541 Před 5 měsíci +1

    We should accept that we could miss things so we have less anxity and more time

  • @ronin5802
    @ronin5802 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I really appreciate the insight, hopefully I can use this to help myself later in life.

  • @CowannV
    @CowannV Před 5 měsíci

    Yup, that’s me. I’ve been stuck for weeks about buying the best possible basketball shoes for my injuries. And usually I don’t even make the right choice in the end.

  • @fflxres
    @fflxres Před 5 měsíci +1

    i truly love your videos, i feel really understood and they help a lot

  • @jugulawang8696
    @jugulawang8696 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Thanks for sharing, Jin Kwon! Your videos are awesome and beneficial in life! ❤

  • @plasticturtle9055
    @plasticturtle9055 Před 4 měsíci

    Wow this is a gem of a video. I just discovered your channel and it is amazing. Thank you for putting this out there.

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 4 měsíci

      I’m so glad you liked it!! :)

  • @lunam3785
    @lunam3785 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I feel like this is how I am living now. Unable to make choices because of my fear to fail. I still haven’t chosen my university or major, despite having more than enough time for that (for various circumstances). And time is running, despite me living in a bubble. I always think that the choice I’ll make will have long lasting consequences and I won’t be able to change that. Like to chose what food I’ll buy will affect my entire week. I won’t be able to eat the same thing twice so I have to pick the perfect day or with my studies I look to far ahead and try to see what would be my “final form” with the chosen major.

    • @Arcaryon
      @Arcaryon Před 5 měsíci +1

      I think spending time on choosing a right major is wise. I rushed into mine. This mistake cost me years of my life, potentially an entire decade.
      Still haven’t recovered fully.
      The key is knowing what decisions are worth to be considered.

    • @lunam3785
      @lunam3785 Před 5 měsíci

      @@Arcaryon What advices could you give?

    • @Arcaryon
      @Arcaryon Před 5 měsíci +1

      @@lunam3785 Actually try out a lot of things. I started doing that way too late. Visit lectures, speak with students - really get yourself out there.
      Additionally, once you do find something, it might be a good idea to make it a priority to find ways to keep yourselves engaged so you don't just finish checklists.

    • @lunam3785
      @lunam3785 Před 4 měsíci

      @@Arcaryon I don’t think I can freely visit lectures in my country, but maybe can find something online. Thanks for the advice. What do you do for a living?

    • @Arcaryon
      @Arcaryon Před 4 měsíci

      @@lunam3785
      To sum up a fairly long story - searching for a new option.
      How I earn my money currently doesn't matter.
      Long version:
      Note that I didn't choose any of this stuff because I thought that it's a great career perspective but because I know myself - I would have started to study something IT-related if I had any talent for it - I was ( still am ) just trying to make the best out of a bad position - unfortunately, sometimes you only figure out that something is a bad move when you have invested some time.
      I started with something and after a while ( I had only chosen the degree because I was hellbent on starting to study as soon as possible since I couldn't imagine doing anything else - this was the worst time of my entire life for several reasons, partially due to the overcommitment ), I switched to pol-sci with a focus on geopolitics.
      I had planned to go my country's foreign ministry and work in the diplomatic service while having some sort of fallback in case that didn't work out.
      With AI on the rise, the degree composition I initially chose is worthless to me since I had always hated the sci part and was consequently betting ( as I can see clearly now, far too much ) on the relatively prestigious but arguably difficult-to-reach position in the diplomatic service - because none of the backups can work out anymore, this translates to a combined 4 years of...
      Things not going well to put it mildly ( it wasn't all a waste of time but that is bloody pointless in the grand theme of things ) - hence trying to figure out a new plan - the specifics don't matter.
      Might actually give IT a go after all - I am unlucky ( or lucky ) enough to have basically nothing to lose.

  • @aishamalik2282
    @aishamalik2282 Před 5 měsíci

    Thanks for this video and this channel!!. This is something a lot of people dont understand.
    Will you make more videos about how to move forward and get out of these old habits, also something about contentment and satisfaction would be appreciated!

  • @maddenjw
    @maddenjw Před 5 měsíci +1

    I do the same thing right now. Thanks for the great video!

  • @peaceyeah4318
    @peaceyeah4318 Před 4 měsíci

    Woooow, i relate way to much to this crazyyyy,m!!

  • @stefanoatzeni9179
    @stefanoatzeni9179 Před 5 měsíci

    THANKS!

  • @seanrowshandel1680
    @seanrowshandel1680 Před 5 měsíci +1

    You should try to get permission from your parents to start having kids with girls. It's the permission which matters, and they actually KNOW that it's all you need in order to build your own future. You were born in a state of being punished. Now it's time to act like you're aware.

  • @Socsob
    @Socsob Před 5 měsíci

    Really cool video, loved the story telling of it. I don’t know if it ruined your 20s since your gen Z tho 😂

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci +1

      haha good catch! definitely not all of my 20s :)

  • @PannuRohit
    @PannuRohit Před 4 měsíci

    💜

  • @victormoran8483
    @victormoran8483 Před 5 měsíci +2

    meow

    • @victormoran8483
      @victormoran8483 Před 5 měsíci +1

      fire video btw, i really appreciate and resonate with the content you make

    • @DrJinKwon
      @DrJinKwon  Před 5 měsíci

      cheers, friend!