His Silence Is A DECISION! The Sneaky Way He's Testing You And How To Respond When He's Been Distant

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  • čas přidán 7. 10. 2021
  • Learn why a man's silence is a decision - PLUS the sneaky way he's testing you (and the high-value way to respond when he's been distant) in this video with Alex Cormont and Helena Hart.
    Alex has generously offered to give away his eBook (an Amazon Best-Seller) PLUS his "7 Powerful Messages To Make A Man Change His Behavior" report for FREE to my community! Get them both here while they're still being offered for free: click.frenchrelationshipexper...
    These two free eBooks will help you attract the man you want and inspire his love, devotion and commitment in the shortest amount of time possible.
    Subscribe to Alex's CZcams channel here: / @frenchrelationshipexpert
    Follow my “Master Your Magnetism” podcast on Spotify here: open.spotify.com/show/2sQpQcw...
    …or on Apple Podcasts here (feel free to leave me a review!): podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
    Here are the biggest Connection Barriers that push a man away (PLUS how to make him come back and want to stay forever): forever1234.com/
    If you want to learn the secrets to attracting the man you want and inspiring his love, devotion and commitment, get my FREE "3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want" report and audio training here: helenahartcoaching.com/
    Get your personal dating and relationship questions answered here: helenahart--mcoast.thrivecart...
    Check out my eBooks and Programs here: helenahartcoaching.com/ebooks/
    While I don't personally conduct one-on-one therapy, I’m sponsored by a company that can meet such a need if you'd like to get online counseling from a licensed professional (I've worked with a therapist from BetterHelp myself and it was absolutely life-changing!). You can get a discount through my exclusive invitation here: betterhelp.com/helenahart
    Connect with me on Facebook: / helenahartcoaching
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Komentáře • 2,6K

  • @HelenaHartCoaching
    @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +304

    Alex has generously offered to give away his eBook (an Amazon Best-Seller) PLUS his "7 Powerful Messages To Make A Man Change His Behavior" report for FREE to my community! Get them both here: click.frenchrelationshipexpert.com/7-powerful-messages-special-offer?affiliate_id=2242878

    • @arlenejohnson3907
      @arlenejohnson3907 Před 2 lety +8

      I'm on that relationship now thank you. But I think im in love him and his son?? How do I get out of it all

    • @dlwsport250
      @dlwsport250 Před 2 lety +17

      @@arlenejohnson3907 Move forward with your life slowly by adding a valuable goal to your life. As you add something that takes your energy and time whilst improving your own sense of self you will notice that your strength to set boundaries and keep the boundaries will give you the resolve and knowledge that you DESERVE better.

    • @leyancuisine6426
      @leyancuisine6426 Před 2 lety +2

      Thank you 💕

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +6

      You’re welcome! This video might be helpful for anyone who’s looking to let go and move on from a man like this: czcams.com/video/4SBxUGRBFfI/video.html

    • @theprolificnetwork4670
      @theprolificnetwork4670 Před 2 lety +3

      Can you do the same discussion About women she's stalking you on Instagram but not talking not replying to anything but just following you. She knows how you feel she knows you love her but she's not coming through the door what is going on in her mind what does she have to fear when we already showed we have a great relationship.

  • @nancyangelastro177
    @nancyangelastro177 Před 9 měsíci +1516

    Never be afraid of losing someone that’s not afraid of losing you.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 9 měsíci +23

      Absolutely, thanks for sharing! 💞

    • @katerynapoydyuk3925
      @katerynapoydyuk3925 Před 7 měsíci +9

      The best advice!
      Thank you so much !!!
      ❤️

    • @CA-de1kb
      @CA-de1kb Před 6 měsíci +32

      Mark Twain said, “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Good advice.

    • @keylimepie8426
      @keylimepie8426 Před 5 měsíci +5

      @@Jules-740stop it! Yes you will!! We both will✨ remember, what we think will manifest. 😊

    • @Jules-740
      @Jules-740 Před 5 měsíci +2

      @keylimepie8426 You're right! Thank you!💕 and yes we will! Thank you for your message somehow it makes me feel as if we were good friends who've known eachother. You have good vibes! God bless!

  • @peterpatton8736
    @peterpatton8736 Před 2 lety +3804

    When a person ignores you, they are teaching you how to live without them.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +31

      Thanks for sharing your insights here!

    • @msprettykawaii950
      @msprettykawaii950 Před 2 lety +32

      true, it happened to me

    • @julesybethmedlini
      @julesybethmedlini Před 2 lety +43

      Right, especially when you are a malignant narcissist!

    • @jerrodplummer6850
      @jerrodplummer6850 Před 2 lety +30

      I made a mistake by walking away from someone who was supporting me. When I came back to apologize they hit back.
      It's not the person you need to let go of, its your investment in fixing the mistake which never happened. Love the people on both sides of the mirror. Only then can you let go of the drama.

    • @ericfuller6922
      @ericfuller6922 Před 2 lety +7

      @@jerrodplummer6850 tell me more.

  • @peculiarunicorn
    @peculiarunicorn Před 2 lety +4385

    If a man goes silent...enjoy it. He's showing he's a boy or player. Move on!

  • @Eden-dm3lf
    @Eden-dm3lf Před rokem +1721

    You couldn't have said it better. After 6months of no contact, he sent me a "love you always" text on my birthday, my response :" I'm sorry I don't recognize this number". I had moved on totally. Ladies, love yourselves, pamper yourselves, get flowers for yourselves, travel/visit other countries and love God above all. When the time is right God will lead him to find you. Time is too precious to focus on inconsistent men, it's a huge turn-off. No man can be better than the man God has for you.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +25

      Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜

    • @saharrihabmayou6820
      @saharrihabmayou6820 Před rokem +28

      INDEED ,so happy to hear that from a lady, that's what I'm up to right now, they make you act bad and then they ask why u're akting like that! SUCH A CONTRADICTORY WORLD!

    • @ilianasaenz4720
      @ilianasaenz4720 Před rokem +30

      Your so right indeed. GOD IS GOOD ❤ And he will bless us with a good man when we are ready to receive his gift 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @Hail2GOD
      @Hail2GOD Před rokem +4

      That's mean you r the one is untrust and unworthy

    • @devinweathersby3668
      @devinweathersby3668 Před rokem +31

      Exactly, no games. Stop the games, pick adults not children

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 Před rokem +447

    When someone ghost you, respect the dead and leave them alone.

  • @krissyfry3333
    @krissyfry3333 Před 2 lety +3031

    If a man goes silent, it means he doesn't care about your feelings . Keep it moving.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +21

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Krissy! 💕

    • @dibyatenrilangi8233
      @dibyatenrilangi8233 Před 2 lety +6

      true

    • @hellbentholland1008
      @hellbentholland1008 Před rokem +15

      We are all too old for games if someone says leave me alone I'm going to especially when it was a whole blown out of proportion shi* show mind game anyhow. It ain't that I didn't/dont love her but I'm sick of being under a magnifying glass blamed as trash when I wouldn't be had I not given all I've got with almost nothing to those that I had a different idea about. I get taking time to see but expecting a dude to do what was said not to and then call him weak for caving in or uncaring for not? Impossible to win... so it's Important to not shoulder ALL the blame when others live for nothing but the bad parts of stuff and to keep the pot stirred when it should be poured out.

    • @davidjames8403
      @davidjames8403 Před rokem +6

      Girls! I tried this. Srarches these video titles, "why she goes silent" as if you were a man.
      They're are all saying the same thing.

    • @ARD7177
      @ARD7177 Před rokem +36

      Exactly. It's too much worth doing this. Silent treatment or ghosting is a turn off. I'm out

  • @peterpatton8736
    @peterpatton8736 Před 2 lety +1724

    A friend told me if someone ignores you it is God doing you a favor, taking him out of your life.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +4

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @itsBenzie
      @itsBenzie Před 2 lety +18

      I closed the CZcams app after reading this comment. It was all I needed to see. Thanks for this! So simple, so powerful and so FINAL. 💕God

    • @amab1853
      @amab1853 Před rokem +2

      Absolutely 💯

    • @astoutoure8701
      @astoutoure8701 Před rokem +3

      It is so true!!!!! Believe me

    • @cassandrafleming7123
      @cassandrafleming7123 Před rokem +2

      no I don't agree with that because you could be in love and you could be in a committed relationship like engaged and y'all eventually get married at 3 or 4 years later and you're in the same house together you got a four bedroom house three bath do you really really think you're always going to be in the same room up under each other 24/7 no if you have that mindset you are really not you shouldn't be you should never get into a committed relationship that's that's to me that's childish and immature to think that way and our kids you not if you got a fiance a man and y'all spending some time together and you can't never take your butt in another room and read a book the little girl y'all just had sit with her read a book do something on your own you got to always be in the room with that man he's got to always be in your circle for you to feel secure it's something wrong with you it ain't the man

  • @monajora1733
    @monajora1733 Před 8 měsíci +115

    The best sign to recognize a player/narc is when he love bombs you and after he knows that you‘re interested he pulls back and goes silent, returns when he sees you‘re healing and happy without him. So predictable. 😂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 8 měsíci +3

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! This video should be helpful for anyone who suspects they might be being love bombed: czcams.com/users/livek8VC2kt7pZE?si=Hwc6Qjv34l8mCB4P

    • @user-pk8bv9st7b
      @user-pk8bv9st7b Před měsícem

      How about when a woman do this to you ?

  • @simplymarilyn5295
    @simplymarilyn5295 Před rokem +685

    Don't be afraid to lose anyone. Be yourself.... because the right ones won't leave!

  • @angeliqueesprit8674
    @angeliqueesprit8674 Před 2 lety +823

    He go silent I go silent… good written I have no time for immature males who fails to communicate. He’s emotionally unavailable.

  • @robynpeace9850
    @robynpeace9850 Před 2 lety +992

    Yes after many times, silent treatment is emotional abuse. Run away from that

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +27

      Absolutely, if this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html

    • @janine1111
      @janine1111 Před 2 lety +8

      Yes totally agree

    • @tanjaj-richter3307
      @tanjaj-richter3307 Před 2 lety +53

      Silent treatment = narcissism

    • @robynpeace9850
      @robynpeace9850 Před 2 lety +13

      @@tanjaj-richter3307 my dad my mom my ex husband and my ex boyfriend and then I finally learned that this was abusive emotionally

    • @lynolee6116
      @lynolee6116 Před 2 lety +5

      @@tanjaj-richter3307 So true

  • @jill5188
    @jill5188 Před 2 lety +2695

    If I was dating a guy in the early stages and he pulls away, I am out. That is a hell no for me. If we are in a committed relationship and he pulls away, I would have a conversation and depending on the situation, I would start losing interest and eventually move on. This type of energy is such a turn off now. The man I am with invests in me and I invest in him. We are partners, period. Relationships take effort, consistency, and trust on both sides because triggers and past wounds will come up.

    • @user-ee2qq4hp3z
      @user-ee2qq4hp3z Před 2 lety +78

      My sentiments exactly. Took the words right out of my mouth.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +67

      I love what you said here and I completely agree - thanks for sharing! 💞

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves Před 2 lety +12

      🎯🎯🎯✅✅✅💯👏🏼

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves Před 2 lety +77

      Me too it's a huge turn off these men should get their attitude straight.

    • @cristalebellab444
      @cristalebellab444 Před 2 lety +75

      I wish men could find relationship clarity as quick as we do. I hate to say it , but you are right. We all have past wounds & triggers and if they are emotionally avoidant then it’s sooo much work and pain. 😩

  • @sunshine9717
    @sunshine9717 Před 2 lety +503

    Silence is an answer! You have 24 hours in a day. Anything can happen to you. If he's ignoring you, like a piece a paper on the street. Put on your skates ⛸️ and skate away. 🤗

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html

    • @nadulamb4141
      @nadulamb4141 Před měsícem

      😂

    • @sunshine9717
      @sunshine9717 Před měsícem

      @HelenaHartCoaching I've been there, with a husband who ignored me. I made a choice not to give a damn and live my life. Yippee for me. My love life is me loving me. If you don't love yourself. You end up with a fool. So choose! Self-love first and foremost. 💯

  • @justaconversation3729
    @justaconversation3729 Před 2 lety +1800

    If he is above chasing you... he's actually beneath you and beneath your time or interest or notice. End of story.

  • @michelledambra
    @michelledambra Před 2 lety +2250

    I mirror others' behavior and the funny thing is they don't like how I'm treating them when I do. My husband ignored me for the last time because I responded by ignoring him and planning my departure that week. Ladies, all these red flags become worse the longer you stay. I would rather be alone with my fur babies than deal with a man-boy.

    • @hsjsnsnsnsna9133
      @hsjsnsnsnsna9133 Před 2 lety +71

      My situation exactly right now. Got my cats, I'm goooood 😅

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +97

      Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here. I agree that red flags tend to get worse over time, so it’s important to recognize them as soon as possible. 💜

    • @kylieprice9268
      @kylieprice9268 Před 2 lety +56

      🎯 life is sweet with my 4 fur babies. I dont need to prove myself to anyone! This all sounds exhausting😩

    • @lm5608
      @lm5608 Před 2 lety +32

      Very valuable comment. That the red flags become worser over time :-(

    • @xoxobutterfly
      @xoxobutterfly Před 2 lety +51

      Same I was happier when I was single honestly and I didn't feel so insecure

  • @danirob6920
    @danirob6920 Před rokem +100

    I follow the three day rule. If i haven’t heard from him then i am single. Men use the silent treatment as a way to control you, and i am NOT the one smh

  • @Momof3minions7791
    @Momof3minions7791 Před rokem +109

    A friend told me, "treat them how they treat you." I'm not in a relationship, but I have a male friend (30years) he does the silent thing on me, I chased just wanting to know what I had done. Didn't answer the phone, didn't respond back to my messages. I stopped wasting my time, and you better believe that now he's doing all the texting, I don't respond until I get ready. I don't ask questions, I don't argue period. I will never waste my time chasing anyone, not even a friend.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

    • @FavDogBisquit
      @FavDogBisquit Před měsícem

      But you did answer him. That’s crazy how he got an answer from you after ignoring you. Nobody cares if you make him wait alil longer now. You still answered him!

  • @dlm2133
    @dlm2133 Před 2 lety +378

    Pulling away...I end up losing interest. Once I lose it, I can't get it back. Never is the same.

  • @tappingintuit5977
    @tappingintuit5977 Před rokem +724

    Thank you for your sincere simplicity! This is helpful
    1. Mirror his behavior
    2. Invest in yourself
    3. Show that you have a great life, professionally& personally .
    Express it!
    3. Be flirtatious..it's a game-- do it just for your personal development

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz Před 2 lety +851

    Slam the door, bolt it and vacate the building Queens 👑🚪💯

    • @angeliqueesprit8674
      @angeliqueesprit8674 Před 2 lety +19

      Periodt.🤣🙌🏽

    • @joycereed6297
      @joycereed6297 Před 2 lety +7

      Lol !!!

    • @goodvibes7424
      @goodvibes7424 Před 2 lety +7

      🤣😆😂🙈😝

    • @prittyugly86
      @prittyugly86 Před 2 lety +10

      What if your married tho? And doing individual and solo therapy 🤣🤣🤣

    • @StClaresGlitz
      @StClaresGlitz Před 2 lety +16

      😂🤣😂🤣😂😂 It works like a charm, they always want what they can no longer have.

  • @carolinemurray7648
    @carolinemurray7648 Před 2 lety +166

    A guy unable to communicate properly ain’t worth my time!

  • @KG-ri9xh
    @KG-ri9xh Před rokem +65

    The silent treatment is a sign of weakness. Rejection is my protection from a future that wasn’t the best for me

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💞 I talked more about that in this video: czcams.com/video/sHR3dJ8QiLA/video.html

  • @lemonspica
    @lemonspica Před 2 lety +112

    Listen, if he was involved at first, then disappears when he knows you fell in love with him, turn that love back around to yourself and let him go to hell. No man like that is worth the time of a great woman.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +7

      Yes, if he knows you’re in love with him and this is a consistent pattern I would definitely move on. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html and czcams.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/video.html.

    • @tawanalefeged8916
      @tawanalefeged8916 Před rokem +2

      BEST COMMENT EVER!!! Unfortunately going thru this currently. Your comment struck me different, thanks! Today forward, he can go to HELL!

  • @gemigem2411
    @gemigem2411 Před 2 lety +1047

    Women need to have self love and respect for themselves. No woman should be putting up with this kind of BS. LOVE yourselves women, you can do this!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +6

      Thanks for sharing your insights here!

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl Před 2 lety +18

      @Gemi Gem Yeah, I feel like more women need to be building each other up instead of tearing each other down.

    • @Auburnred67
      @Auburnred67 Před rokem +8

      Self- love and respect is a MUST for both men and women

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz Před 2 lety +155

    If he's not begging, I am not buying 😂🤣

  • @amy44499
    @amy44499 Před 2 lety +311

    It reminds me of a child putting a toy down and coming back later expecting it to be there. Smh. Another will pick it up. Especially if it's a good one!

    • @yassmin2918
      @yassmin2918 Před 2 lety +10

      absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Amy! 💕

    • @mtngrl5859
      @mtngrl5859 Před 2 lety +7

      For a Narcissist this is called putting you on the shelf. These are habits of a narcissist. Then why they come around again, it is called Hoovering. The best thing is NO CONTACT AT ALL EVER AGAIN

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 Před rokem

      EXACTLY...its a no brainer.

    • @psycherevivedby
      @psycherevivedby Před rokem

      oooo i like this

  • @rotsteineva
    @rotsteineva Před rokem +59

    Those kind of men, don't deserve the effort! Just look for someone better, more authentic and more loving. 🤗❤

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +1

      Thanks for sharing, Eva - I agree! I talked more about that in this video: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html

  • @kelkabot
    @kelkabot Před rokem +181

    Ah, wish I'd known all this when I was younger! Some of the best advice I ever got: don't make excuses for him. It's easy, for example, to make excuses for his distance because he's getting over a divorce, a job loss, death of a parent, an addiction or illness, whatever. Don't. Do. It. A man who wants to be with you and is ready for that is going to give you so little doubt of his feelings that you never get on the crazy train endlessly checking your phone, etc. He'll BE THERE.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +3

      Absolutely, thanks for sharing! My husband and I actually talked about that in these videos: czcams.com/video/_D37APGOy8Y/video.html and czcams.com/video/_fiTUm_DCAw/video.html.

    • @MEAMELT
      @MEAMELT Před 4 měsíci +2

      Saving this for a future reminder! Thanks ❤️

  • @belle8i
    @belle8i Před 2 lety +523

    Simple answer: Do you. Quit making a man your whole world. Find your passion or do things that make you happy that don't require your love interest to be with you. Be the star in your own life. Would you want your tombstone to read “here lies Joe’s girlfriend,” no, you wouldn't, so quit being a needy loser that doesn't have dreams and goals of her own? Stop waiting for someone to make you happy and make yourself happy.

  • @kelkabot
    @kelkabot Před rokem +189

    Right now I'm crazy about this guy who just makes me weak in the knees, and he seems so special that I'll never find another like him. But! He runs hot and cold and I have finally got it through my head that there's going to be someone else out there who will be even more special. Getting hooked on the idea that there's only one soulmate, twin flame, whatever...that is a poisonous lie that will keep you stuck.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! Yes, I talk more about that in these videos: czcams.com/users/live7FBAsHoLSOA?feature=share, czcams.com/users/livezKEos5BY2nA?feature=share and czcams.com/video/1obo_qVEIHs/video.html.

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Před rokem

      🙏🏽💯🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

    • @traumamom4338
      @traumamom4338 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Wow I'm in the middle of it now ugh

    • @Irispia97
      @Irispia97 Před 9 měsíci +1

      💯 single until marriage

    • @netanyarut
      @netanyarut Před 8 měsíci

      Just happened to me today :’)

  • @sureyabell2082
    @sureyabell2082 Před 2 lety +1145

    THIS IS IT LADIES! LISTEN TO HIM! This is why they say work on yourself! GO out there and find things you like and are passionate about. Get out there and be engaged with the world. Find something that makes you more happy then seeing him! By the time he will come back around you will feel you are not even the same person talking to him.
    I wanted this guy so bad and i did just that! By the time he came back i responded like he was just an old friend. They totally feel your change because they know what they did and they will hold back knowing you wanted them and they left you they are afraid you will be cold. (if you are cold 1* it shows them you are still mad and hold emotions for him, 2* he still matters 3* he will leave you alone since you are cold and he is not man enough, doesn't value you enough to take things in his hand since you are the same person he left)
    If you respond with the the happy friendly energy of an old acquaintance it will show them that you moved on and have other things to be happy about. Remember, a happy person is self absorbed, they don't care. They are happy and content with their life! They want to spread the happiness!
    Btw i did not want him back and ended the conversation in a friendly manner, i did get some missed calls few days later for consecutive days. SO Yes ladies success is the best revenge!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +17

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience and insights here, Sureya! 💖

    • @sureyabell2082
      @sureyabell2082 Před 2 lety +10

      @@HelenaHartCoaching Thank you for helping us, you have been helping woman since years! Thanks for replying! :)

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +5

      You’re welcome! ❤️

    • @chinancyk7780
      @chinancyk7780 Před 2 lety +4

      Ezi-Okwu ka I na Ekwu.

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 Před 2 lety +8

      Facts on top of facts sista 🍒

  • @eshjane
    @eshjane Před 2 lety +100

    When he calls let the phone ring, smile, and let it go to voicemail. Don’t answer his texts messages and then BLOCK that loser!!!!

  • @mynewlife1911
    @mynewlife1911 Před rokem +129

    I wouldn’t put any effort into anyone who treats me like that. Huge red flag. Take good care of yourself and be safe out there. Emotional abuse is real and it’s painful.

  • @Revolution-tl5wo
    @Revolution-tl5wo Před 2 lety +208

    I don't wait around when men go out of communication with me. I don't have time for games, I know my value, I'm not interested in someone that doesn't put in the work for me, and if you're indecisive, I'll be gone by the time you come back around. I can find a man that knows what he wants and shows it. I have no time to teach grown men how to behave properly.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +2

      I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💙

    • @heatherjertram5641
      @heatherjertram5641 Před 2 lety +2

      Exactly

    • @Revolution-tl5wo
      @Revolution-tl5wo Před 2 lety +7

      @@HelenaHartCoaching What would be really interesting is to see on your channel an exploration into attachment theory and how it intersects with a lot of these topics. Mainly these types of behaviors are frequently found in insecure attachment, especially Dismissive or Fearful Avoidant types. Going silent is generally a red flag unless you want to put in a LOT of work and do a LOT of self-abandonment and repressing your own emotional needs just to have this guy in your life.

    • @carrie5471
      @carrie5471 Před rokem

      Amen to that…

    • @jeshmagujar1674
      @jeshmagujar1674 Před rokem

      True

  • @jokergirl4351
    @jokergirl4351 Před 2 lety +211

    I love men that gives advice to women about men 😁🧡

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +8

      Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex if anyone would like to check them out: czcams.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/video.html, czcams.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/video.html and czcams.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/video.html.

  • @kelstar994
    @kelstar994 Před rokem +25

    If he becomes " distant " , then he'll for sure get his wish! Not staying around where I'm not wanted!

  • @BeatriceARiera
    @BeatriceARiera Před 2 lety +346

    When the bond is broken 💔 you actually feel it! No one is entitled to make you wait, or simply kidnap your time that's selfish and it shows lack of sympathy and respect! Life is too short, move on!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +3

      Thanks for sharing your insights here. These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html, czcams.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/video.html and czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html.

    • @Mary-AshleighWilliams
      @Mary-AshleighWilliams Před 8 měsíci +2

      exactly life is to precious, if he can't respect you with consistency communication then he is wasting your time. when he wastes your time he never respected you in the first place

  • @noroxxx2349
    @noroxxx2349 Před 2 lety +461

    His silence has given me peace, no more walking on eggshells or having an additional baby. So i have been mirroring him for sure🤷🏾‍♀️

    • @ssoeeunsbeau5084
      @ssoeeunsbeau5084 Před 2 lety +7

      True mirroring what hes doin …..

    • @noroxxx2349
      @noroxxx2349 Před 2 lety +19

      @@ssoeeunsbeau5084 he actually called me today, we spoke for two hours, he has been hurting asking why ive been ignoring him🤣🤣

    • @nsomething3615
      @nsomething3615 Před 2 lety +18

      That's good babe. I'm also doing the same. Before he was making me anxious but I'm over it

    • @noroxxx2349
      @noroxxx2349 Před 2 lety +12

      @@nsomething3615 his back now, wants me more as I starve him of my energy x

    • @nsomething3615
      @nsomething3615 Před 2 lety +4

      @@noroxxx2349 I'm happy for you. I don't think I'll have the same energy as before if he comes back. It's the 2nd time he's doing this

  • @bearbear8244
    @bearbear8244 Před rokem +26

    I’m not chasing a guy. I’m designed to be chased. Not the chaser.
    😊chasing a man will push him further away.

  • @averagejane09
    @averagejane09 Před 2 lety +200

    The worst is when a guy works to get you to like him and when you finally do, THEN he pulls away. Ugh. I hate that. Makes me feel played and I probably was. This advice is solid though. If he pulls away after all of that, it isn't a good sign. There are better options out there.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +6

      Yes, there definitely are better options out there! 💜

    • @businesssueanne
      @businesssueanne Před rokem +11

      Why do they make you like them then pull away? Is that a big wast of their time as well? I don't get this....

    • @laylaalkhouri4955
      @laylaalkhouri4955 Před rokem +34

      @@businesssueanne this is usually the behavior of narcissists.. while they may come across confident they actually have extremely low self esteem. So they use people to fuel their ego and once they feel fueled up they toss you out like trash. Narcissists unfortunately lack empathy and many women fall victim to men like this. If a man puts you on a pedestal without really knowing you? There’s your first huge red flag.

    • @nenar.902
      @nenar.902 Před rokem +6

      @Layla, exactly, this is a red flag that you are dealing with a narcissist. They need constant supply (and gratification) so and given that the best supply is from strangers/new people they are also (serial) cheaters. My advice: don‘t fall for their words and how they present themselves. Focus rather on their actions, behaviour and the red flags. Good luck to us all! 💚

    • @dharashah4746
      @dharashah4746 Před 7 měsíci +2

      Yes I am recently experiencing something like that it's really destructive

  • @cindi947
    @cindi947 Před 2 lety +459

    People who turn distant and ghost after sex is especially the worst. If it was clearly communicated and obvious that it was just a casual hookup from the start, that’s fine to be honest. But if you had good connection, chemistry, genuine laughs and spending the night etc, and then you pull the slow fade and disappear like you just died or something, the line gets blurred and feelings will get hurt. I can definitely mirror that behavior and play it cool, but of course it hurts.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +18

      Absolutely, I would definitely drop any man who does that and move on. These videos might be helpful: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html, czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html and czcams.com/video/Sx4ttEKULOI/video.html.

    • @msalexxa2012
      @msalexxa2012 Před 2 lety +34

      There’s an easy way to protect yourself from that though. We are partly at fault in what happens to us.

    • @zee_lolaj7382
      @zee_lolaj7382 Před 2 lety +41

      @@msalexxa2012 Not in All cases. There are those left at the altar on their wedding day. There are people out here that make you feel that you are the Only one in the World for them. There is No way to avoid certain things in life. It's how you Handle things when they are thrown at you....

    • @beautifulsoul8365
      @beautifulsoul8365 Před 2 lety +40

      True. Some people are just con artists and manipulators. Say and do anything to get what they want. It's pretty sad, but it is the truth. Hurt people hurt people. Not everyone has good intentions for you.

    • @MsSmashone
      @MsSmashone Před 2 lety +15

      @@msalexxa2012 no it’s just that they are liars and snakes.

  • @AudioRevelation144Hz
    @AudioRevelation144Hz Před 2 lety +186

    I expect authenticy, emotion and daily devotion or get gone. I don't play that way.

  • @vhayashi7369
    @vhayashi7369 Před 2 lety +494

    It's funny because I already figured all this out and have been doing this and I stay in control of my emotions and he can't jerk me around by being silent. I didn't get mad and just sent him funny stuff and treat him like a best friend. And I stay detached. I only invest in those who invest in me. This way your heart stays protected! Act Unbothered no matter how long he stays quiet. Set a timeline then move on.

  • @sharilyon5983
    @sharilyon5983 Před 2 lety +71

    This very same type of man who loves to play hot and cold told me he wants women to chase him. I told him I never chase men and to quit bothering me.

  • @mrakohk127
    @mrakohk127 Před 3 měsíci +22

    Leave and express that you are no longer interested . They know that you will come back as they listen to the same videos. When a man gives you nothing but anxiety and when he makes you wait and mixed signals ...he is not the right one and leave at once. Do not try to attract him ....let him meet a sneaky one like hi.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 3 měsíci +1

      Yes, if he’s constantly giving you mixed signals and anxiety, that’s a big sign that he’s not the right one for you. I talked more about that in this video: czcams.com/video/RZdL_-_q2f4/video.htmlsi=M2X4W4xbC-mO-Dxc

  • @rubytwoshoes1032
    @rubytwoshoes1032 Před 2 lety +410

    Ladies, don't settle for any thing less than what your worth, use no contact to work on yourself ignore them, and please realise. You don't want someone who comes and goes, you deserve someone who never leaves your side. (30 days min no contract ladies. Be strong, and if you have issues with doing this, ask yourself do you have a co-dependacy issue, maybe low self esteem, toxic past relationships so you have an attachment issue, everyone is different.)
    please make yourself the star of your movie, not them. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, I love you and I know you've got this ❤️🙏🏻

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💜 This video should be helpful for anyone who’s in “no contact” right now: czcams.com/video/EFjOGdW_c60/video.html

    • @patriciamartin6756
      @patriciamartin6756 Před 2 lety

      Ruby. Don't you get it? Men, by nature are programmed to have sex with as many women as possible. About 10% are good men. The rest of them aren't even bad , that' just how they are. My LTR is as nice as can be I couldn't ask for a better person but from the first, he told me he was a swinger; we live together and for 17 months,he has not cheated but he reminds me that he was a swinger and asked if I would have sex with another woman (no way!) or a man (No way) I told him to go do what he wanted but to leave me out of it and made him promise to get a test for STD if he had sex with another person. He honestly is genuinely surprised that I don't want to have sex with a stranger. The thought of it makes me want to throw up. Woman are looking for a guy that on ly wants one woman. It ain't happening

    • @ronip21
      @ronip21 Před 2 lety +5

      30 days?
      I can't.

    • @prairie_dog_5443
      @prairie_dog_5443 Před rokem +21

      If somebody ignores me or ghosts me, I don’t have 30 day rule. I have 1-2 days rule and then his contact is blocked and deleted. Life is too short to give the ignorant people second chances. If they don’t appreciate you from the beginning, it’s only gonna get worse.

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow Před rokem

      made man worth anything can be by your side all the time. this makes no sence

  • @Jenniferhkuhn
    @Jenniferhkuhn Před 2 lety +297

    I put his text alerts on hidden, this way when he does reach out (ladies they always come back!) it gives me time to respond and not feel like I’m waiting to hear from him and then reply right away. Helps me stay in peace :)

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Jen! 💕

    • @capricornangel7957
      @capricornangel7957 Před rokem +14

      Do they always come back? My guy I was dating just vanished into thin air nearly 2 weeks ago, left my message on read and never got back to me. I didn't chase, we used to talk daily and now this has happened 🤷‍♀️☹️

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow Před rokem +12

      cos we come back, we get horrny and your there

    • @TheKaarnageShow
      @TheKaarnageShow Před rokem +1

      funny how after 20 min and we bus a nut and we distant again loool

    • @cheetahcat3940
      @cheetahcat3940 Před rokem +21

      That absolutely works. That way I don't know when he does call or text. It might be 4/5 hours before I notice. That way I don't have to fight myself to not text back right away.

  • @Spacecow17
    @Spacecow17 Před 2 lety +143

    Wish I watched this in my 20's would have saved me time and heartbreak

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +4

      Yes, I hear that ALL the time and can definitely relate! These videos should also be helpful for future reference: czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html and czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html.

    • @Spacecow17
      @Spacecow17 Před 2 lety

      @@HelenaHartCoaching thank you

    • @tinamarie8061
      @tinamarie8061 Před 4 měsíci

      Same same same

  • @jlh82
    @jlh82 Před rokem +70

    We accept the love we think we deserve.

  • @splitraven7060
    @splitraven7060 Před 2 lety +34

    I had this happen to me. He’s blocked. I have a date with a new man this Friday.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +1

      I’m happy to hear that, thanks for sharing! 💕

    • @splitraven7060
      @splitraven7060 Před 2 lety +1

      @@HelenaHartCoaching ha ha new date from yesterday didn’t work out. He’s a great guy; however, we are not a match. I set up a new date for this evening. 🧐🥳🤩

  • @emiconduit2
    @emiconduit2 Před 2 lety +117

    It sounds like that type of behavior is the avoidant type, very difficult to cope with... Move on and find someone secure that gives you certainty. Not hot & cold, that's not healthy.

  • @brookelight2090
    @brookelight2090 Před 2 lety +278

    Why guys think by ignoring women will keep the option alive? It doesn’t make any sense. If a guy has not checked back in with me for 2-3 months, we are done! If a guy check back in with me every 2-3 weeks for more than 2 times, we are done.

  • @farfetched9296
    @farfetched9296 Před 2 lety +71

    When someone goes silent move on to the next. No one has time for power plays nor games. Too many ppl passing you daily to be bothered by one jackass. He's right on mirroring to someone what they're doing to you. Do ask questions how do you know if the person is worth your time. I want a man to run if he's not right for me. Save me the drama, energy, and headache

  • @shuzennn
    @shuzennn Před rokem +139

    Helena, you are actually right. Dump the person. Bc if you start manipulating yourself in order to win this toxic waiting game, then the relationship will be toxic. Too much stress for nothing.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! I talk more about that in this video: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html

  • @priscak6586
    @priscak6586 Před 2 lety +28

    I wish men were abit more open and honest about what they really want. These back and forth mind games are so exhausting. I feel like we waste alot of time, time we could have spent making memories together, pretending not to care. The advice is spot on though, classic case of wanting what you can't have. You pull away, i do the same, i start managing without you, then you want me back. Sometimes though the distance is big enough, or for long enough that you actually learn how to be without that person, how to not need them anymore🤷‍♀️

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! Yes, if this is a consistent pattern I would DEFINITELY move on. These videos might be helpful for anyone who’s experiencing something like this: czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html and czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html.

  • @twade39
    @twade39 Před 2 lety +266

    I went through this for 9 months! He ghosted me 5 times in the 9 m. He would usually stay gone about a month to 6 weeks then come back. I would call him out on his bad behavior and then he went silent. I gave him many chances to tell me he wasnt really into me and if so, just let me know… he never would… but this last i said no more! Game over!! Men like this are toxic!!! Stay away from them!!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +20

      Yes, in the future I would move on at the first sign of any behavior like that - I wouldn’t keep giving him chances. These videos might be helpful for anyone dealing with a man like this: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html, czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html and czcams.com/video/Sx4ttEKULOI/video.html.

    • @denisealley9822
      @denisealley9822 Před 2 lety +3

      separated from him, talking for 9 months, Going to therapy, making sure I wasn't being impulsive, as well. He was still drinking, couldn't handle anything, would walk out, so I did, with a usual. It was his 2nd and his LAST chance. He stated he wanted to get help, as he has, but the right kind then heal, using my Trauma Specialist who I do hypnosis with and

    • @msalexxa2012
      @msalexxa2012 Před 2 lety +30

      You gave him many chances to tell you he was not into you and he did, with his actions.

    • @mistyblue2917
      @mistyblue2917 Před 2 lety +7

      What sign was he, sis?

    • @nipornpiyapanichyakul956
      @nipornpiyapanichyakul956 Před 2 lety

  • @cynthiac735
    @cynthiac735 Před 2 lety +86

    Hadn't communicated with him for almost 7 months and he came back with a new year's wish two weeks after Jan. 1; I replied amicably and knew it was a test. Three days later, I received another message..."Good morning". I replied around 10 pm...."Have a good night" - lol. He replied, "Good night and rest well". Haven't heard from him since, because he saw that the door was closed. He'll try again, but I'm in control of my life.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Cynthia. 💕

    • @Laura-ux8vt
      @Laura-ux8vt Před 2 lety +11

      I love how you did this!!!!!

    • @ericabelcher8760
      @ericabelcher8760 Před rokem +8

      Oh God, the textbook, "holiday wish text"! Sooo typical! They'll wait til around Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years, knowing that you're either in a warm, cheerful, reflecting or vulnerable mood due to the time of year. As soon as you reply, they want to "check your temp", to see where you stand & if they still have an opening! Smdh 🤦‍♀️

    • @achiengdeji
      @achiengdeji Před rokem

      @@ericabelcher8760 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ericabelcher8760
      @ericabelcher8760 Před rokem

      @@achiengdeji Hey! Ijs lol💀💀

  • @karolinah12
    @karolinah12 Před 9 měsíci +12

    They go distant but don't like it when you meet someone better in the time gap they leave for you 😂. People do not stay where you leave them, especially when they are high value and have been fair. If you need to do too many mind games, they are not the one

  • @bluebirdie7241
    @bluebirdie7241 Před rokem +14

    GET RID OF HIM!!! ASAP!!! NO MAN WHO TRULY LOVES A WOMAN WILL PLAY GAMES WITH HER, BECAUSE HE RISKS LOSING HER!!! IF HE DOESN'T MIND LOSING YOU, HE IS WORTH LOSING!

  • @KatalinaKristina
    @KatalinaKristina Před 2 lety +74

    I just act like them and they hate it. I return what they do to me and they hate it. I text and disappear as well and come back every 10 to 15 days and I test them just to see if I still have control over them too. It's hilarious cuz it takes them far longer to realize what's happening and when they do they get pissy 🤣 like buddy relax? You started this shindig.
    And while I'm playing with you I'm also entertaining other guys so I have choices just incase someone fails. *Never wait, ladies!!!* Collect men and only give investment once the man has vocally said and has shown in real life that they do want you!! Good luck! 💙💜🧡💛

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 Před rokem +4

      winning!!!!

    • @carpediem2487
      @carpediem2487 Před rokem +8

      Give them a taste of their medicine 💯.

    • @KatalinaKristina
      @KatalinaKristina Před 9 měsíci

      @@sargeklein Did you even read???? I get EVERYTHING and I have fun. The only loser is the asshole who started it all and can't handle it when their own shit is being done to them back 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @user-or5ul1bc5o
      @user-or5ul1bc5o Před 9 měsíci

      Unfortunately seems like a lot of game playing. I'm currently in this kind of situation too. Have done this behavior too...texting...see if he'll respond...he comes back immediately, but leaves me feeling like a manipulator and somehow empty. I have just decided to cut off the poor connection (the healthier choice) and wait for someone better to come along! Hope they do!

    • @KatalinaKristina
      @KatalinaKristina Před 9 měsíci

      @@user-or5ul1bc5o I don't view it as game playing I call it karma. Seems like they don't experience a lot of life lessons so I'm here to educate them. They wanna act stupid? They get the consequences of being stupid. Easy 🤣🤣

  • @miguelalvarado2673
    @miguelalvarado2673 Před 2 lety +128

    Ghosting is not acceptable. Time to go so, GET OUT AND STAY OUT! I love you, Alex, your video advice is great!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree!

    • @lc4972
      @lc4972 Před 2 lety

      I know who u listen to. Lol. HG Tudor. And he is really good.

    • @paula3406
      @paula3406 Před rokem

      Thank you 😊💗😇 God bless 🙏🌷🌺🙂😁 you

  • @laurasebastian2822
    @laurasebastian2822 Před 4 měsíci +26

    Friend friend friend. Alex is so right. The minute I started treating guys like friends even if I REALLY wanted more. It relieved the pressure on both the man, but more importantly, me. I was in control, and not constantly wondering and trying to figure anything out. I let them come to me. The last guy I did that with is the man I've been with for nearly 9 years, and he wants to get married❤❤.Thanks, Alex and Helen. Such helpful information 🙂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 4 měsíci

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💞

    • @alhassanfirrdous7292
      @alhassanfirrdous7292 Před 4 měsíci

      Excellent, comment

    • @teresam3350
      @teresam3350 Před 22 dny

      How did you transition to more than friends? How did he know you were interested if you treat him like a friend? Are you flirtatious? Do you just mean don’t put pressure on it by being attached?

  • @tralala827727
    @tralala827727 Před 2 měsíci +4

    If a guy ignores you, ignore him. Not in order to get him interested in you again, but because he´s not the right one for you. No guy who really loves you will ignore you. You may trigger his hunting instinct by ignoring him, but trust me it still won´t work down the road. Save yourself time and tears and move on. You´re valuable, you matter. Find yourself a guy who will never doubt that.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před měsícem +1

      Thanks for sharing your insights here - I agree! We talked about that in my latest livestream: czcams.com/users/liveD6ewIKTZJ8U?si=HlyJTr3tW665wsTA

  • @TC-dt8fl
    @TC-dt8fl Před 2 lety +653

    Dating is difficult when you’ve been in a long term relationship. Everything is different now, and I need to learn the new rules without it being through getting hurt. Please do more of these for women 35+!

    • @TC-dt8fl
      @TC-dt8fl Před 2 lety +45

      I was ghosted for the first time, and it is so manipulative! Thank you for making videos on how it should be handled. More, please!

    • @itsmayayt
      @itsmayayt Před 2 lety +25

      Dating also is difficult when you are single all your life :(. It's easier making friends lols

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +12

      You’re welcome, TC! I’ll keep that in mind for future video topics, thanks for the great suggestion! In the meantime, these ones might be helpful: czcams.com/video/kKcvjOjso5I/video.html and czcams.com/video/tvWCTeZDsX8/video.html.

    • @charlottetheartist327
      @charlottetheartist327 Před 2 lety +1

      Right! Best wishes. Just be you.

    • @crackers1039
      @crackers1039 Před 2 lety +1

      @@TC-dt8fl amen

  • @marcycat
    @marcycat Před rokem +21

    I find when I don't do anything is when a man seeks me out. When I don't call him or show alot of interest. Ultimately it will be up to him to pursue me or to want more of a bond. Men will try to pull a woman in early on to see who she is in her standards and boundaries. I lean back and observe him to see what his intentions are. A man will tell you who he is if you observe and listen. You will know when to take a step forward to meet him or not.

  • @nikitogias8367
    @nikitogias8367 Před 2 lety +126

    I literally just ignored the message even though I know he likes me and I have feelz. I don't like hot and cold or games. I'm ok with accepting that some guys can't go deep which is really important to me 🙂

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Niki! 💕

    • @janine1111
      @janine1111 Před 2 lety +2

      I really believe it’s all about that! Some men are just scared of losing their freedom and independence when having a women. It’s really just their issue, it’s not ours, girls!!

    • @georgialee6755
      @georgialee6755 Před 2 lety +4

      Janine A man isn’t afraid of that if he’s with a woman he wants to be with. Most men end up married. Don’t use that as an excuse

    • @franziskani
      @franziskani Před 4 měsíci

      @@georgialee6755 A man can get married or end up in a longterm relationship - and never go deep with his partner. Isn't going to last of course. and yes, some persons (males and females) simply are not relationship material. Some do not know and some are O.K. with it and just swap partners constantly (or they live single - but then they would not be an issue for the people watching this video.

  • @changminkeybum
    @changminkeybum Před 2 lety +46

    My goodness this kind of men are so toxic!! I pray we have the strength to release ourselves from their manipulation. Bless 🥰

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +1

      Thanks for sharing, Aizan! This video should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to move on from a man:czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html

  • @orth82
    @orth82 Před 10 měsíci +33

    Very good tips. The shift happens when you stop trying to make others like you and begin to focus on whether or not you like them.

  • @PrettyBlaque5683
    @PrettyBlaque5683 Před 2 lety +530

    I’m in this situation right now. He’s been silent and so have I. We can do this all year if he like lol. I don’t chase men or anyone for that matter. You either reciprocate or not but either way my life doesn’t stop. #Growth Thanks for the information because I’ve done everything you said in the past and it ABSOLUTELY works. Women have to know their self worth👏🏽

  • @sumairahossain03
    @sumairahossain03 Před rokem +8

    U r so accurate....men go silent n distant so that they can come around with excuses when they want to.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +2

      Yes, I talked more about that type of man in these videos: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html, czcams.com/video/QGkBi0mjsCA/video.html and czcams.com/video/zKEos5BY2nA/video.html.

    • @maskedgamer7565
      @maskedgamer7565 Před rokem +1

      Right...
      I woman goes cold out of nowhere just to test you.
      She will get friendly with other guys to test your confidence.
      She will insult you to see if you don't overreact.
      But oh boy, if a guy goes silence for a few days, it's a disaster.
      What about this. A guy goes distant to think if this woman is actually someone he wants to invest more time in?
      Or maybe he goes distant because he thinks the woman doesn't put enough effort into the relationship...
      So don't blame guys for going distant because women test guys on so many levels, not to mention all the high standards he has to meet before a woman even considers talking to him.

  • @sophiap2617
    @sophiap2617 Před 2 lety +146

    A guy recently I spoke with started off really well showing a lot of attention etc.. Suddenly he realised he's not getting what he wanted when he wanted and felt the need to pull back.. I gave him one chance to give him the benefit of doubt but with no response I closed the door on him and dispensed him from my life. No time for mind games they need to grow a pair!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +3

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Sophia - I’m glad you were able to move on! 💕

    • @dh3815
      @dh3815 Před 2 lety +3

      sounds like someone needs to learn how to communicate. There’s no reason to sit back and wait for days on end, be distant, and wait for him to either come around or not.
      That we should not expect the man to be accountable, that we should just lay back for days on end until he decides, whether he wants to close to you again or not.
      it’s so much easier to just say what’s on your mind. this is oppressive to Women, and a pain in the ass! I completely disagree with this way of doing things.

    • @lifeoutsidecomfortzone
      @lifeoutsidecomfortzone Před rokem +2

      I love the word ‘dispensed.’ ‘I dispensed him from my life’ 😄👌🏼 BRILLIANT!

  • @czeketa6140
    @czeketa6140 Před rokem +20

    Check your level of anxiety over a reasonable amount of time. If it has been high or you are finding yourself constantly strategizing, run or be exhausted. It's a wicked game, not love or even a potential of it.

  • @luckie6682
    @luckie6682 Před 2 lety +40

    When they pull away, so do I, I'm a grown, classy bosslady, I truly don't have time too reraise boys that their momma should have did this right the first go around, which means he is a player, and players get played ,no real man that truly love you will ever pull away, realize, this red flag, I told him, last night , I'm getting married and wished him well, and he blew up, I'm like, you know I'm not feeling you right so why would you blow up, have a good night , he text and called all night I turned my phone off, this is what you do ,treat them the same way they treat you, if he pull away and get with another or even if he doesn't have anyone else , you pull away for good, no lady deserves too be played with or tested in this manner, never allow no man too treat you any kind of way and you be satisfied with this horrible treatment men can be boys and if you allow him too he will use you as his playground, which means he has no respect, integrity, or worth for anyone including himself, no real man will ever do these things too hurt your heart unless he is not into you, he just want a piece of ass and note you in his lil black book , save yourself for your true love believe me you will not regret it, I'm an example this guy thought he had me in the palm of his hand and found out real quick you loose real love playing with a woman's heart, I reversed it and now his heart is broken, and thats his petroleum he shouldn't have played with grown ups stay in a child's lane, especially when you can't stand the rain, Amen

  • @justaconversation3729
    @justaconversation3729 Před 2 lety +172

    Exactly... guys who play that game are only about crippling you and controlling you. Just cut guys like that out of your life. Have one conversation about it. One. If he embraces the critisizim and apologizes, then ok. Otherwise move on and forget that loser.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +4

      Thanks for sharing your insights here! 💙

    • @arkieologist
      @arkieologist Před 2 lety +12

      I really like your direct approach. 💯👌 No begging or anxiety. Just confronting the issue and they've only got a few ways to respond that could make me consider moving forward with it. If not, gotta cut it off and not be payed with.

    • @lmiller1413
      @lmiller1413 Před 2 lety +1

      Amen! Preach sister!

    • @teresam3350
      @teresam3350 Před 22 dny

      What would you suggest saying, exactly?

  • @LaPinturaBella
    @LaPinturaBella Před 2 lety +14

    When a guy does this, he is playing games. Screw that. It's disrespect, pure and simple. Hit the road, Jack. Little boys pull this crap.

  • @juliet.2472
    @juliet.2472 Před 2 lety +53

    We should stop lowering our standards and being a certain way to attract a distant person. If the person is distant, then he or she is not responding and ensuring a secure and healthy relationship. I have listened to so many of these videos and believed I could manipulate into getting their attention.. it worked for a short time and they went back to their old patterns. I now know I deserve to be loved and have a balanced equal share of attention and affection. 🙏🏻

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, Julie! I agree that if a man is consistently distant it’s best to let him go and move on. I talk more about that in these videos: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html and czcams.com/video/kdzffPA_IAI/video.html.

  • @rebeccajones8628
    @rebeccajones8628 Před 2 lety +75

    Even the presidents of nations have time to text their special someone. Excellent advice Alex! Make him see you are GREAT ! Take your time to respond ! Treat him like your best friend... He is an 'experiment'. Flirt and let him see what he is losing.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +1

      I’m glad you enjoyed this, Rebecca! Here are a few more videos I’ve recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: czcams.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/video.html, czcams.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/video.html and czcams.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/video.html.

  • @junebuggy8624
    @junebuggy8624 Před 2 lety +22

    Make your own plans all week, with family, friends, alone and your pet. If you hear from him, don't cancel your plans, make him ask and make him wait until you've completed your other plans or errands.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety

      Thanks for sharing your insights here, June! 💕

    • @Marcycat7
      @Marcycat7 Před 18 dny

      He needs to ask me for a date. Then I check my calendar to see if I can make the date. The date is not sex. It's him taking me somewhere nice together. To work at building more together and between each other.

  • @FrenchRelationshipExpert
    @FrenchRelationshipExpert Před 2 lety +611

    THANK YOU for having me! It was so much fun to help your community :-)

    • @stuartsturgess2199
      @stuartsturgess2199 Před 2 lety +6

      I have a friend that has a connection with her boss however he's never aked her for a drink or meal but just to clarify this video is about people that are dating or have been at very least flirting in such a way as to be understood clearly a relationship is possible

    • @artandscience1
      @artandscience1 Před 2 lety +19

      Bonjour Alex, i'm enjoying your videos. But i see that one important fact is never being mentioned: a man's silence is *triggering our fear of abandonment*! We don't just text him to not loose the connection with HIM... There's a much greater fear subconsciously, that leads us to being irrational, to freeze, to feel and act desperate, etc. It's a very primal fear. Plus, it triggers our need for safety, which is a primal need too but a womens #1 instinct. Merci!

    • @linda__4587
      @linda__4587 Před 2 lety +1

      @@stuartsturgess2199 We have been out for 6 dates. His daughter came out for his birthday from Canada and he asked me to meet her. I thought it a good idea to do that now because she would not be coming out again for a while.

    • @stuartsturgess2199
      @stuartsturgess2199 Před 2 lety +2

      @@linda__4587 I don't know much but I see no reason not to go with it and see what happen's I think as long as you are being genuine with them it has a good chance of working out

    • @missfefeloves
      @missfefeloves Před 2 lety +7

      Mr Alex I would like to ask what inspires men to act hot and cold? Why exactly do they do these things?

  • @jscorpio1987
    @jscorpio1987 Před rokem +54

    I am recently back in the dating world after a hiatus of about 10 years. I don’t remember saying being this difficult back then.
    It seems like everything’s a game now and it’s exhausting. I’ve dated 4 or 5 guys in the past 6 months. None of them lasted more than a few weeks because of this whole “now that I have you I’m going to ignore you and pay games with you” type BS.
    I’m tempted to just throw in the towel with it all because every time I meet a guy that I like it’s the same thing and dating becomes more stressful than fun.
    Dating shouldn’t (and used to not) give me this much anxiety.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +2

      These videos might be helpful if these are the only kind of people you seem to be attracting at the moment: czcams.com/video/sHR3dJ8QiLA/video.html, czcams.com/video/0kAgz1Q-x20/video.html and czcams.com/video/wykTZL1oOg4/video.html.

    • @amandawingz658
      @amandawingz658 Před rokem +2

      Yes exactly! I didn't date in my 20s. Now that I'm ready to in my 30s it's exhausting bs. I can't do or handle these games

    • @Eg-jd9zt
      @Eg-jd9zt Před rokem +2

      Yes they all do this it’s awful. Don’t have time for it. Those are boys, not mature men

  • @abutterfly7975
    @abutterfly7975 Před rokem +10

    I AM SO SICK OF NARC BEHAVIOUR!!!
    The games, the gaslighting, the emotional vacancy and the denial and never being accountable.
    This is excruciating when you married one and didn’t even know it for years. I work on many relationships at once but he says oh one thing is enough for him to work on and I’m the only relationship in his circle……. Give me a break. By the time he ever decides to work on more in our relationship I will have left or be 80 yrs old!😳
    They are the most controlling and lying ppl and even when you point out what you are not getting from them they will blame you for them not meeting your needs, I heard that today, because I don’t listen to him. That’s after gas lighting me twice in a few hours and then coming at me accusing me of doing stuff I never did. They invent their own reality, and get more angry as time goes on, never giving you the benefit of the doubt but instead accusing, blaming and assuming that you are the bad guy!🙄

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před rokem +1

      This video might be helpful for anyone who’s experienced a toxic relationship or narcissistic abuse: czcams.com/video/kcG-Utr3DpQ/video.html

  • @surdogal
    @surdogal Před 2 lety +45

    When a guy tries to do the hot/cold leave the door open routine with me I love to slam that door firmly shut and move on with gratitude for not wasting any more of my time. I wish them well I truly do but I’m waiting for my Mr Right to show up - I don’t want to miss him because I was too busy looking out for Mr Time Waster !

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +3

      I love what you said here - thanks for sharing! These videos should be helpful for anyone who’s questioning whether or not it’s time to walk away: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html and czcams.com/video/aHDHiOJALjc/video.html.

    • @surdogal
      @surdogal Před 2 lety +3

      @Mukaila Lateefat Thanks but my ex’s are ex’s for a good reason, I would not have them back. Self love and self care is what I am working on and I trust the person who is right for me will come my way in time 💜

    • @georgialee6755
      @georgialee6755 Před 2 lety +1

      surdogal Don’t think too much about getting mr right - you have to get yourself in order first so you can attract Mr Right.

    • @paula3406
      @paula3406 Před rokem

      It is a waste of time.i am dating a guy who is very moody and I am not going to put up with him anymore.he is a jerk! I can get Alot better than him.🙂🌺😇

  • @kayleewmorgan
    @kayleewmorgan Před 2 lety +11

    So basically.... Mirror his effort. If he goes distant, so do you. Don’t text. Wait for him at least for 10-15 days. But during that distance: keep loving your life & workin on yourself. Then, when he reaches out again, just be flirty.. give him good energy.. tell him about something new or exciting you’ve been doing (socially or career-wise).. then continue to keep the convo flirty and fun.
    Got it 👍🏼

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +5

      Yes, although I wouldn’t actually “wait” for him during that time. I’d also say if he doesn’t pick up the ball and start pursuing you consistently from there, I would consider moving on. 💕

    • @georgialee6755
      @georgialee6755 Před 2 lety +2

      Helena Exactly. If he’s not actually dating you - seeing you in person - then the woman needs to move on. No waiting and no replying to any texts he may send later.

  • @kristiemcinnes304
    @kristiemcinnes304 Před 2 lety +35

    I've been with my man 14 months. His past relationship (16 years) they dealt with issues with silent treatment. He did this a few times with me - I told him if he wants to be with me then he needs to talk about issues not give me silent treatment. This took him a while to get used to. We each have the opportunity to ask for time upfront but need to talk within 24 hours. After 14 months he does t give me the silent treatment anymore.

  • @higherselftarot4304
    @higherselftarot4304 Před 2 lety +14

    When they become distant you have to keep meeting other people and do you, not worry

  • @InternetGirl1093
    @InternetGirl1093 Před 2 lety +468

    Thank you for making this video, I have been feeling so heartbroken and devastated after seeing a man for 2 months who does this “pulling away” behavior. I made the mistake in the past of reaching out or trying to “check him” instead of just mirroring his energy and I regret it.
    I’m done giving chances. I last texted him (responding to his message) on Wednesday and it’s Sunday now and I’ve heard nothing from him. I’m over it. It’s painful, but I am not going to be treated like a last priority.

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +11

      You’re welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience here - these videos should also be helpful for future reference so you don’t get invested in a man like this ever again: czcams.com/video/VcjFqtaGj3Y/video.html, czcams.com/video/1obo_qVEIHs/video.html, czcams.com/video/fzyjMlOD3oc/video.html, czcams.com/video/_jARxknc160/video.html and czcams.com/video/x8yKaWNdq7g/video.html.

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 Před 2 lety +25

      You are such a sweet person, sometimes they get envious. Watch out girl, you saw this video for a reason. Focus on you bby.

    • @hayl8569
      @hayl8569 Před 2 lety +9

      u were in the same sitiuation as I am rn and ima use this method asap

    • @lmiller1413
      @lmiller1413 Před 2 lety +7

      You deserve better. Flush the toilet. Move on. Lock the door and don't let him back in. He sounds like he will be painful to be with. You deserve a man who is willing to fight dragons for you, climb mountains for you, and value you.

    • @jessyjohn4326
      @jessyjohn4326 Před 2 lety +1

      Ur videos r wonderful they motives Alex u r a wonderful person.

  • @myowngalnow777
    @myowngalnow777 Před 2 lety +332

    I’m in my 60s and just beginning the dating scene. It’s so hard at this age, many of the men are recently widowed and have a lot of confusion in their hearts about moving forward. I have already experienced this pulling back several times. Your advice is perfect and I am following it-living my best life for me! It works. Helena, Alex, thank you for sharing this information. Even we older ladies can learn so much more about men and relationships!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +6

      You’re welcome, Sally! Here are a few more videos I recorded with Alex that might also be helpful: czcams.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/video.html, czcams.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/video.html and czcams.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/video.html.

    • @dianegonzalez4748
      @dianegonzalez4748 Před rokem +9

      Thatsso true and a lot of baggage and adult children

    • @CradleEpiscopalian56
      @CradleEpiscopalian56 Před rokem +6

      I'm 66, off & on with same man. He chose a group vacation weekend over me by no contact while gone. It's childish and selfish so let him wiggly until Thursday. He needs the same lesson he dishes out.

    • @beckyforcier3515
      @beckyforcier3515 Před rokem +4

      I am 57 I met someone who really didn't feel the same about me. He has been gone 3 months now. I lived with him for 9 months he said in beginning he wasn't my guy. I really like him and thought more than anything he was my friend. Anyway I was hoping I miss having coffee with him I was comfortable with him.

    • @sacred_alchemy
      @sacred_alchemy Před rokem

      You go girl!!! ❤

  • @reikomyles1495
    @reikomyles1495 Před 2 lety +26

    Good information to know. To be honest, I don't have the patience, tolerance, or time for playing games. Either you like me or you don't period.

  • @sarinaj72
    @sarinaj72 Před 2 lety +378

    I usually hate playing games, but this advice is great and always work when the man is distant. Mirroring his behaviour is the best solution 😁 you’re right these type of men usually need to be always in control. Thank you ❤️

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +3

      You’re welcome, Sarinah! 💕

    • @Bella-fl5ok
      @Bella-fl5ok Před 2 lety +7

      Im at this stage right now. Im tired of it though

    • @sarinaj72
      @sarinaj72 Před 2 lety +9

      @@Bella-fl5ok yup, I’m too old to play dating games and usually take a long break. It’s always the same cycle just different men.

    • @richardssnz52023
      @richardssnz52023 Před 2 lety +1

      @@sarinaj72 .

    • @sarinaj72
      @sarinaj72 Před 2 lety +1

      @@richardssnz52023 yes?

  • @delancey6232
    @delancey6232 Před 2 lety +7

    His silence is MY DECISION to leave and lock the door behind me.

  • @nikkiy5335
    @nikkiy5335 Před 2 lety +29

    Seems like more often than not anymore, (in my experiences) that most guys do this.. it's really annoying and discouraging! Hence why I'm 40 and still single!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +3

      Thanks for sharing your experience here, Nikki! The right man definitely WON’T do this, in my opinion. These videos might be helpful: czcams.com/video/hBB3bxA_6CE/video.html and czcams.com/video/bN1jzRP_sQ8/video.html.

  • @angiesmith9293
    @angiesmith9293 Před 2 lety +98

    This is timely! I am dealing with this right now. He broke up with me on Tuesday saying he was scared. He had been going way too fast. Now he is silent and barely communicating. I’m going to lean back go out with some other guys to coffee. I’m test driving motorcycles and cars! Riding my bike and working out. Auditioning for a band etc. I’m hurting but I know it will be ok. This is not my ideal relationship right now but I do care about him a lot. Thank you both so much!! You both have saved my dating life. I’m 54 and didn’t know how to date, understand what to do when men act certain ways etc. As you know, it is a fun, painful and challenging process. But, I know he’s out there. I can feel my husband looking for me. Blessings and hugs!

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +5

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience here, Angie! 💗 My last two livestreams should also be helpful for your situation: czcams.com/video/7FBAsHoLSOA/video.html and czcams.com/video/kdzffPA_IAI/video.html.

    • @specialk8927
      @specialk8927 Před 2 lety +13

      It usually means he’s seeing someone else but karma would come for him and he will be back after he gets dumped but I wouldn’t go back continue to move forward!

    • @liadagraca7604
      @liadagraca7604 Před 7 měsíci

      🙌🏻👏🏻✨🌟🍀🍀🍀🌷

    • @franziskani
      @franziskani Před 4 měsíci

      If a man is "scared" - it usually means he is not relationship material. Or it is a convenient excuse to sideline you. While he explores other options. The "I like you, but we move too fast and that scares me" ruse usually means he would like to string you along as plan B.

  • @meeksmiinkboutique1681
    @meeksmiinkboutique1681 Před 2 lety +70

    I love this guy his expertise is A1! I was involved with a guy off n on for twelve years. I’m so bothered that I allowed this for so long, wasting my precious years on a dead end relationship. He knew we would never marry he knew he played all kinds of crazy games. I was comfortable and felt like he was a good guy because he was educated, and had a good career and treated me well when we were together. I was so emotional a roller coaster of emotions. I will NEVER allow myself to go through anything like this. I’m happy now that I can move on

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here! I’m glad you were able to move on. These videos I recorded with Alex might also be helpful for anyone who’s in a situation like that: czcams.com/video/zzUgvsLAvMM/video.html, czcams.com/video/JFn2iiTjEx0/video.html and czcams.com/video/DvjgwlcjO3E/video.html.

    • @lifeoutsidecomfortzone
      @lifeoutsidecomfortzone Před rokem +2

      Good for you-it takes courage and a lot of strength to fully commit to that decision. You’re an inspiration to everyone who is also going through or has gone through a similar type of negative relationship 🙏🏼❤️

  • @Cravenn5
    @Cravenn5 Před 9 dny +2

    So many of you are troubling on this.. I had to ghost the love of my life for months.. I was dealing with a loss and grief and it was disabling. He didn’t know! I couldn’t share… everyone doesn’t leave your life on a motive of non love or care ❤

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 7 dny +2

      Thanks for sharing your experience here. 💜

    • @sylviaguenther-zc9lg
      @sylviaguenther-zc9lg Před 19 hodinami

      U know I came to this channel by accident but I went through the exact same thing, so nice to have had the chance to learn that in this life lesson I am not alone, thank you for sharing, hope U R in a better place today ✌️🦋

  • @samahnour5423
    @samahnour5423 Před 7 dny

    I just wanna take a moment to say how proud I am of my strong people in the comment section!

  • @GB-TX
    @GB-TX Před 4 měsíci +3

    Amen - to all these comments

  • @fenixnew1790
    @fenixnew1790 Před 2 lety +46

    Yes, I agree, these men are ideal candidates for friendzoning.I don't need to persuade anyone I have a great life ( even though I do have! ), as soon as I recognize this behaviour, I just "switch" my thinking from "potential partner" to " we will see, sweetie".
    After his silent period I usually start talking about common things, in the same way, I am talking to my friends (including my period troubles, irritable bowel, plan for cooking).
    Yes, your door is open, but the room, to which they are leading has not a nameplate "partners" on it, it is a "possible friends"...( emphasizing the word "possible")
    P.S and if he finds it as a challenge, it is great, because the best partners should be the best friends first

    • @HelenaHartCoaching
      @HelenaHartCoaching  Před 2 lety

      Thanks for sharing, Fenix New! 💜

    • @pickmeupstix
      @pickmeupstix Před 2 lety +1

      This is such an amazing way to change one’s perception! Especially the “we’ll see, sweetie” 😁 A lovely thing to say to yourself in the mirror to get a little pep in your step! Like, “yeeeah, you might not even be decent enough to be my friend, pal” 😆 And that feels good to casually reflect on 😌

  • @ikr2377
    @ikr2377 Před 2 lety +30

    This is why women should be talking to multiple men,so she ain't bothered if he goes

  • @prairie_dog_5443
    @prairie_dog_5443 Před rokem +7

    Silent he is either not that interested or don’t care, especially when you just started dating. I think it’s good if it happens earlier than later. In the end of the day, consistency is a key and if he cannot even show that, then say good buy to him mentally and move one.
    I think society only talking about men being rejected by women, but in fact, there is a lot of rejection from men towards women. It just expressed differently, like ignoring your message or not contacting you consistently or not scheduling a date with you within a short period of time after the first date.