Fainéant Girl - weevildoing ft. Tsuina-chan
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- posttraumaticm...
forgive me for the wait on this one. a lot has changed since the last song was published. i'm sure you can tell that i channeled a lot of my emotions upon receiving my ME/CFS diagnosis this year into this song. it was difficult....
thank you soooososo much to @mnk_mnd on twitter for letting me commission them for the art!! ^__^
/ mnk_mnd
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
bandcamp (you can buy my music here, if you feel so inclined; it really helps me!):
weevildoing.ba...
come see what i'm up to!
/ weevildoing
/ weevildoing
weevildoing.ca...
instrumentals and USTs/SVPs/etc.:
drive.google.c...
just added the instrumental + svp to the google drive link in the description! ^^
LETS GOOO
HORRAYYYY
just a question, why was splitter girl hidden?
i cant find it ;-;
So youtube thought it was against the guidlines and deleted it
@@price_andadvice youtube moment
I love how the lyrics are explicit enough to tell a story but vague enough that anyone can put themselves in the singers shoes, how it represents both a physical and mental disability, especially the bits at the end that really emphasize how physical heath affects mental health, and vice versa.
The "If it's written down on paper you can't call yourself a faker" part is so painfully relatable, even though I'm not disabled. My depression and trauma makes being alive so exhausting. It took me years to get a diagnosis and I spent the whole time calling myself a liar and attention whore for being sick. Argh.
Wish to you the best, you can do this, I believe in you!
Gently placing my hand on your shoulder a someone both physically and mentally disabled. You are allowed to call yourself disabled when you have mental illness. If it is the right description for how it effects you, there is no shame or harm in it. I wish you the best in your journey and hope you’re well.
Something I've noticed about the line "they don't tell stories about people like me" is that because of this song, a story about people like her is being told
I noticed how in the other videos the background usually shows movement or doing something (like reading, baking a cake, going on the internet) in here its just the same device ( i dont know what its called), same place, this is a really cool detail that in a way shows the repetition and suffering that comes with each day
(This is my opinion)
The device seems to be a sewing machine, if I'm seeing it correctly
yea they're sewing in this
made me cry... all too relateable. fantastic work
I love your work too!! :D
Sometimes I randomly get "Don't you try me, don't take it lightly" randomly play in my head, its fun to sing
this song actually made me realize I may or may not have a chronic illness, thank you so much for posting this. my doctors and family are now looking into the pain I've felt for years and a few other things. but also were still not sure what it is. but anyways thank you for making this. it makes me feel so much less alone in my life because I know there are people who feel the same. so from the very bottom of my heart WeevilDoing, thank you. thank you so much.
Wish to you the best
"'you need to pull your weight' when i was trying not to kill myself" fuck dude. thats it. that's what it is
im not gonna get into it but I needed this song this week. thank you weevil
Wish to you great support and a good life❤
I really like the detail that because Fainéant is "tired, just tired" all the time, the sewing machine footage is blurry and the song itself never spikes in volume or tempo like Splitter and Irreverent's songs.
And even though I don't have CFS, ""you need to pull your weight" when I was trying not to kill myself" hit harder than expected since as I'm typing this, I'm in a crisis residential after checking into a psych ward for suicidal ideations. I have a feeling Fainéant is gonna be the most underrated once all the girls in TPTM are revealed.
i don't know if anyone else caught this, but the irreverent girl leitmotif at 3:30...
in irreverent girl, the lyrics at that part are "can't seem to keep my legs together, make be blessed, make me better".
which ties into this song, as the singer in this song has a chronic illness and wants somebody to make her better, as well as having anxiety about her health issues.
dude........... weevildoing man...................
I MENTIONED THAT I MY COMMENT HELLO I thought I was wrong for a bit I didnt see anyone else mention it !!!
I think the part that hit me the most was the bridge about being tired. Im autistic and I also have depression and anxiety, and normal things exhaust me to a debilitating degree. The worst part is that nobody understands because they cant physically see what I am going through. Thank you for sharing this song, and I sincerely hope things get better for you!
ADHD, Anxiety and depression, but same.
And you're unable to put in a format that people can understand.
It's like some eldritch brain we have.
I have Autism and ADHD, and the bridge about being tired hit me like truck as well. I’m recovering from a very long and rough burnout period and still have times where I am completely unmotivated, and exhausted by normal things for months at a time. It’s really hard to function, but I’m glad people understand where I’m coming from.
Yeah, I understand. I have autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, probably some form of c-PTSD, and hEDS, and I've been chronically fatigued since I was 6, and it's only gotten worse. Being exited puts strain on my body, so fun things make me tired. Not being able to do stuff puts strain on my mind and that makes me tired. I have to use all my energy just to get through the day, and when I tell people that I'm tired they don't believe me. For example, a few days ago my mom made me go on a walk, and after I said that I was tired and would have to spend the rest of the day recovering. She said that I was just being dramatic and that the reason I felt tired after a walk was because I didn't walk enough. Luckily, she left me alone after that because I physically couldn't get up. Unsurprisingly, her gaslighting only made me feel worse not better.
oh. huh. i didnt even make the connection that my constant tiredness could be connected to my autism or anxiety, this comment kinda opened my eyes on that. thanks random internet stranger!
I have EDS and a variety of other issues that affect my legs and this shit hits home hard. I'm still ignored to this day despite having it written down on paper, I have to use a wheelchair at times, a walking stick, crutches, and yet people death stare me because I "don't look disabled". I've had older folks kick at my legs in public transport and both work and school push me too far and question the legitimacy of my condition. I'm so sick of this.
Wtf, those people so sick!! They sicken me fr
I’m so sorry people are so rude and mean and insensitive, you deserve far better and I wish to you the best
@@jujuoof174 that's so kind of you thank you, it means alot
I’m so sorry people would do that omfg :(
i have eds too. it’s so hard.
The part at 3:15 - 3:44 !!! Tsuinas melancholy voice with a fading/dizzying bg, and the lyrics!! The line “Yeah you meant well but that doesnt mean that it wasnt traumatic” hits so hard!!!
POV: me when my parents try to force me into overwhelming situation bc they think im just being dramatic, but it ends up detrimentally ruining my trust in them
Well this made me cry. I have EDS, POTs, fibromyalgia, CFS, a whole laundry list of shit that's left me exactly how the singer here is: trapped in my body, tired all the time, unable to do the things i want to do and so jealous of people around me who are healthy. The way they talk about not feeling really alive is one I've related to very often as my conditions have worsened recently. The wheelchair they're drawn in is even one I tried to raise the money for (I had go give up and get a cheaper one lol). Every lyric felt like a punch to the gut, just feeling actually seen for the first time in a long time. Thank you for making this song 💖
(Sorry if this comment is a bit jumbled or messy its just difficult to get my feelings about this out in a way that makes sense haha)
ayo fellow (h)EDs + POTs friend 🤝🤝
@@phonegingi Yeah, another one!! (I don't have an official diagnosis yet cause the healthcare system where I live is really slow, but I fit the criteria pretty well so I'm pretty sure I have it)
Thank you for making this song. I cried to it. "Doctors said it was somatic, you all said I was dramatic". Fuck. I felt like a car was being thrown at me, hearing something that resonated with me so much. It's good to see a music creator express chronic illness, especially undiagnosed illness, through art and I'm very grateful you made this song. It confronts chronic illness, from the possibility of drug abuse, to suicidal ideation, to people turning against you while being well meaning. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're not alone and this song made me realize I'm not either. Thank you
As someone with an invisible disability that was brushed off for a lot of my life- this song hits hard. It's gorgeous, I can tell how much emotion and work you put into it. Existing is exhausting. You've put that exhaustion into words. Thank you for such a wonderful piece.
I have a kind of invisible disability too. I have a learning disability called intellectual disability but people can't really tell I have it
Same. I have a condition that causes me chronic pain that just so happened to start when I was going through puberty, so everyone just told me it was growing pains before even listening to me. That (and a few other similar situations) is why I don't tell people things anymore. And if I do eventually tell them, they get mad at me for not telling them earlier. I just can't win
I love how you were constantly adjusting and trying to salvage projects from the machine in the background.
I remember when i tried to use them i became often frustrated as it would always be one problem after another, yet i could never find the causes but knew there was something wrong as I couldn’t do anything with my projects
And when it did work, it would run into problem again.
It’s a wonderful visual metaphor.
the "hey look ma i made it" line at the end pummeled me 😭 im cranking out a solaria cover asap thank you for this gem
fuck this hits hard. ive been struggling with mental illness ever since i was a toddler and theres something physically wrong with me but the doctors wont believe me because of my history with mental illness. i cannot stand, i cannot run, i keep missing school, it keeps getting worse, and they wont do anything
Ugg, I feel you. Just know that you aren't alone, and that you probably should get a better doctor. Mental and physical illness is linked, but there is no reason to ignore someone's physical health because of their mental health. I wish you the best, and I hope things get better for you soon
IT WAS STUNNING as always!! i have so many thoughts about all the lyrics and character design and everything but i don't have an eternity to type it out so i'll point out this one line "my prophets are Ramsay and Shepherd and Bell"
I was confused on its meaning at first but I realized the Bell refers to Alexander Graham Bell. The other two I'm still not sure on exactly (Ramsay i believe is Paul Ramsey? but I couldnt find anything on who Shepherd is) but specifics aside, likening eugenicists as prophets for the disabled is. so powerful and horrifically realistic. Those who speak for us are the same ones who want us eraticated, while the voices of disabled people continue to be silenced. It's such a beautiful line that so succinctly describes the current situation.
I really hope you keep up the happier endings of these songs, it's something we all need to hear i think, whether these songs describe our experiences or not. Thank you as always for making wonderful music, I can't wait for the next installment.
thank you, im so glad i could create something that inspired so many thoughts!! and as for the names, they refer to doctors who helped ME/CFS be taken more seriously, specifically David Bell, Melvin Ramsay, and Charles Shepherd, but your interpretation is wonderful too!!! we are in a world where, despite the doctors who try to help us, the researchers who try to amplify our voices when no one will hear us…. the able-bodied people who do not understand are, unfortunately, more commonly listened to. i hope this will change in the future, but it is an equally prevalent way to read that lyric…
@@WeevilDoing oh, thank you for your insight! it's interesting how both readings create a dichotomy of those working to improve treatments and recognition versus those working to tear us down.. here's to hoping the helpful voices get listened to more 💖
often doctors are eugenicists, too, which adds to the dual sided sword of that line
This song is going to make my cry……………. I’ve never had something articulate the reason why I still feel upset even though I’ve come to terms with my pain and fatigue and lack of mobility and this just. AUGH
Plus this song acknowledging how disability and childhood trauma go hand in hand?? I’m happy bc oh my god finally someone touches on it
Its a kind of giving up in a way. Fighting makes you tired, getting worse makes you tired. You just glide on through as if your body is floating down a river of sticky black misty goop.
she has me/cfs ... ive long suspected I've had chronic fatigue syndrome after lots of research and the line "nothing wrong as far as they could tell" is because there's no telltale sign of cfs. no blood test no scans they can do... they can just say that you're fine, or even an attention seeker.
worst thing I've heard is "just drink some water."
Alright yup,, I’m sobbing. This was as hard to listen too as Splitter girl. But it was needed. Thank you for making this. I’ve never heard songs like yours that just, completely encapsulate so much stuff I’ve been through? And it’s been so,, freeing? Cathartic? To know that there’s other people like me, people who’ve gone through the very specific hell of growing up afab.
I’m autistic, and for me it means I have very intense sensory processing issues. From 2:00 and on the lyrics just hit like a fucking freight train. They just completely articulate everything I go through???!??! Scared me how accurate it was. I’m just so tired all the time, it’s hell. I hate it. And the line, “no they can’t help, they’re not diseased, that’s not the way they chose to be” really resonates with me in particular. So many people close to me believe that I some how can choose to be overwhelmed by sensory? And that I’m just lying or being selfish when I get overwhelmed. I would never wish for them to experience the pain I’m in, but I just wish that they could understand it. I don’t think I can ever put into words what I go through in a way that’d make them understand. And it’s so saddening.
I feel so trapped, but this song is so fucking freeing. You’re a lyrical genius, I don’t think I’m able to put into words how much the post traumatic manifesto means to me. I wish I could write about the songs but honestly I think I’d spiral lol.
I am going to take care of my mental health by NOT putting this on repeat like I did with the other songs ,, but I will be coming back to this many times. Thank you so much for creating these songs, as contradictory as it sounds they’ve really helped improve my mental health. Thank you so much.
I have the same problem. People think that I'm just being dramatic when I'm actually extremely overstimulated and on the verge of a shutdown
This song is so beautiful, you are so good at putting such raw emotions and feelings into words. Going through so much pain and being so tired all the time can feel so isolating, and the line "the shit I hid to keep you happy, you don't even want to know" hit WAY TOO CLOSE TO HOME!!!! IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE
The feeling that you're trapped in your own mind as if it were a cage, that you're at the mercy of your own brain or body is such a scary thing to experience. And the feeling of grief that comes with that, about all you've lost due to factors outside of your control, is almost just as crushing.
There comes a point where you have to learn to accept your life as it is, that you were dealt a bad hand and now all you can do is try to manage and live and make peace with the trauma you've been dealt with as much as you can, because you can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you process it. It's scary and isolating, making peace with these things is not easy, and it's ok to sometimes feel angry or upset at the life you were given. But in the end, we survive. It's what humans are best at.
You are such an amazing writer and lyricist, every single song you've written I've adored!!! Keep up the amazing work ❤❤
alright, CZcams autoplay. you win this round.
GOD THIS IS GONNA HIT SO HARD especially as a person with cerebral palsy who views itself as less than due to their issues... tysm for making this
I hope you are okay, I'm glad you have something to relate to :)
@@mmcii4 oh yea im ok!! ty for being so kind :D
huh, cool to see someone online with the same condition
Yo cerebral palsy solidarity lets goooo
@@abelerculano7565 yippeeeee
I connect with this song so much, Jesus Christ haha. I've been putting off writing a comment cause I wanted to make sure I got all of my thoughts into words but everything about this hits so hard.
"Shorter life expectancy might as well embrace it" might be the line that resonates with me the most, (And that's saying a lot because the verse about being jealous and missing the life you never had the opportunity for is basically my life right now) from being disabled to being transgenderI know that my chances of living a 'full' are exactly the highest and I think that's why I'm so determined to create art and share it.
Even when my disabilities make me feel exhausted with being alive I try to do something creative everyday because I can never know how much time I have left. And I want to thank you for putting your experiences and life out there because for one it makes me a lot less scared of doing so myself and for two it's just. nice to feel so seen, Fainéant Girl's chorus of, "They don't tell stories about people like me" is so very true.
Seeing disabled characters, especially those who struggle to get proper accommodations or a diagnosis for their illness is so rare. I'm glad that you're helping change that!
Random shower thought but I think an orchestral version of this song would go crazy hard.
Dear god you assaulted me with this
Im autistic and constantly treated like a toddler, but on top of that, I have GERD, asthma, and a really bad immune system. Im only 14.
I also was neglected by my parents through the ages of 7-12, bullied for a venous anomaly I have on my index finger that is REALLY visible, I would get called a witch, demon, monster, anything because of it, and insulted over my below average abilities to interact with people and do sports, I also got bullied for my motor skills being absolutely shit.
I was always jealous of everybody who could just exist better at me, I always felt like they had practice at life while I was thrown in head first before I could even open my eyes to see everything. All my dreams from back then were crushed because of my body.
This song really makes me realise what my future probably is going to look like, but it also feels really nice that other people understand what its like going through this. Thank you
My biggest condolences to you friend, you really didn't deserve that.
@@Rootyshine-enthusiast thank you
Mood, just mood.
Nobody will ever understand how you feel unless they feel in pain.
Then they only barely grasp it.
They brush it off like we're not disabled, we're just being troublesome.
It's sickening.
oh god, i am completely abled neurotypical but this song hits n a way i just can't explain. this describes the feelings of illness and lethargy I've experienced due to my sickening imagination and gender dysphoria. I'm tired of the life i was assigned as a child and have to uphold to this day, i kept "shattering" myself over and over and it's kind of like an invisible disability that not even wikimedia commons has stored somewhere. my experiences as fictionkin and someonr with a nameless mental issue that keeps jeering and bothering me can be compared to faineant girls and i swear to god i can see a pattern of feeling unwell but getting dismissed. and the parts mentioning her body hit close home... because that's how i feel. it's so weird to explain but it's how it is. i feel like the inconvenient truth of imagination and creativity when taken to the extreme. similar to how faineant feels like she's the inconvenient truth of pain and accidents taken to the extreme.
god sorry for the edgy paragraph faineant's jus too relatable
"nobody would listen, my body was trying to warn me / doctors said it was somatic, you all thought i was dramatic" STARS i relate to this line so much. last year there was an entire two weeks in which i couldn't stay at school for an entire day because i was so dizzy and whatevz and the school nurses started accusing me of trying to purposely skip the same class, they made me walk between school buildings to my next class to ask for a pass when i was on the verge of passing out. (it turned out it was a really bad ear infection - i had too much fluid in my ears and it was throwing my balance off.) even still, i've always had issues with my ears and i feel my body is slowly giving out on me, though i don't know why. and the "if it's written down on paper you can't call yourself a faker" - i relate to this a lot with my mental disorders etc... it's just!!!! WARGH i love this song so much. thank you for this song
Ghost , Kikuo, and WeevilDoing all came out with a new song on the same day😭 this is the best New Year's gift ever
Edit: these lyrics made me tear up, especially that last line. Thank you for taking the time to make such great music for all of us even with all you're going through ❤
HOLY SHIT A GHOST AND PALS FAN MIXED WITH KIKUO N WEEVIL DOING????? LOVE U!!!!!!
the second I saw this song impending from the character profile HOOOO I KNEW this one was gonna wreck me.
"the shit I hid to keep you happy, you don't even want to know" as said, OH HOW IT HITS.
"they dont tell stories about people like me, cause what is there to tell?" is another strong line, it's literally one of the most frustrating parts regarding "write what you know" when it comes to living with chronic fatigue issues and depression. what story is there to tell about not going out and suicidality?
this, like other media, answers the question by way of example a lot better than I could have hoped.
Thank you for the time it took to put this together and put this song out, and likewise thanks for working on this series.
It's been helpful to a lot of folks, and beyond the songs being bops they're touching on themes that folks can seriously benefit from exposure to
Putting the SERVED in a life centence served and my body’s the cell 💅💅💅💅
not disabled but depression is kicking my ass rn and this shit still manages to hit close to home😭😭
was about to comment the same thing, good luck to you dealing with this shit o7
Exactly how I feel, good luck to you bro.
Honestly same, i hope it gets better for u
To be honest? There is a certain point where depression becomes a full fledged disability, and I think it starts a lot earlier than people think.
God this song hits so hard. As someone with some sort of illness that seems to be getting worse everyday (i haven’t been to a doctor before so I’m unsure of what it is) I relate to this so much. The line about waking up tired honestly just sums up what it’s like for me and it’s so nice to see mine (and many others) feelings represented in a song this way. For me, people not believing in my pain is a big problem and even though I experience chronic chest pains and the like my pain is often overshadowed by my family’s conditions/ignored by people who don’t experience it and I’m once again so happy to see it expressed in a song - one that is also really beautiful!
My pain has been getting worse progressively for years and i just. Can’t do anything about it! No clue what’s causing it, no clue what’s wrong with me, and i just have to suffer through it. This song and the story connects so hard for me it makes me tear up.
im excited beyond words because while im still able to (kind of) function fine my disabilities make my life actually miserable. ive been wanting a song abt it for a while, and for you to make one is amazing, bc ur one of my favorite artists. this is going to be amazing
First heard this before my cfs diagnosis, I lost the song because I couldn’t remember the title and I just found it again, I’m diagnosed now. This hits really close to home, thank you
I have several chronic illnesses & there's nothing that hits as hard as this song. These lyrics are so spot on.
#relatable /hj
I relate to this song so much as someone who has asthma and other stuff, they don’t tell stories about people like me fr.
Every depiction of asthma I’ve ever seen has been wildly inaccurate (except for Rudy from bob’s burgers, there’s still a a fair bit not exactly right? But it’s legitimately the closest I’ve ever seen to a good depiction of it.)
They don’t talk about like anything, dude asthma is literally not depicted correctly ever. It’s kinda annoying because people think it’s like not severe or something and people can be fine without inhalers WHICH IS WRONG, I have never seen like a proper asthmatic wheeze in fiction/nonfiction. They don’t even show the dichotomy of inhalers making your heart race while your breath slows, like I’M KINDA SAD!
And I deal with the wheezing, and the coughing, and the waking up in the night, and the not sleeping, and the everything!
AND NO ONE HAS THE DECENCY TO CORRECTLY DEPICT ASTHMA, it’s always been a peeve of mine. And it’s solidified in the public minds, which sucks.
Honestly this song is amazing, 10000000/10
Hope you have a wonderful day everyone!
Oh i relate to this so much. I feel like a lot of people don't take asthma seriously because a lot of people have it as kids and then grow out of it, but as someone in his late teens who still has rather severe asthma... I can tell you that isn't the case. I often have to take nebulizer treatments when my asthma gets really bad instead of the inhaler and it literally makes you feel like you're having a heart attack
@@randomstringofwords SAME! Everyone keeps saying “you’ll grow out of it” it’s been 10 years, I don’t think I am.
Also brothers in asthma let’s go!
Hope you have a wonderful day!
thank you so much for this song. i’m always tired and i always have a headache and i don’t want to do anything at all. i want to do everything and i want to go everywhere but im just so tired tired tired tired. i have a headache when i go out and i want to go home and im tired. i was supposed to be having fun but i am tired tired tired tired and exhausted from feeling the air on my skin and the sounds in my ears and the sights in my eyes it makes me tired
👏👏👏LETS GO YALL ANOTHER PAGE OF THE POST TRAMATIC MANIFESTO 👏👏
"but it's hard to call what's left of me alive" Holy shit
I LOVE THIS GAL. TYSM 4 making this album n letting us traumatized people see ourselves thru the lens of ur music
MY FIBRO ANTHEM.... 🎉🎉🎉🎉 weevildoing never misses
real. i have fibro too‼️
I only just started listening to these songs, and oh this one hits. Feeling so so tired from constant pain and illness is something so many people cannot sympathize with, and the line about how she got berated for not pulling her weight when she was trying to keep from dying is just all too familiar.
I really like this song. Even with its sad message. From the blurry camera motion gives me a tired and dizzy feeling. Probably representing how the character feels all the time. To the name displaying what people think of them. (Fainéant meaning idle of ineffective person.) Anyways thanks for this banger.
You are giving SO many people a voice, and I cannot thank or admire you enough for that. I can’t relate to any of them, but I really like hearing about and empathising with other’s experiences plus it’s an absolute bop and I listen to it regularly! One of my favourite songs of you and of this genra ever.
the sheer amount of like... catharsis felt every time i listen to a new tptm song is insane. thank you so much for a series like this. it honestly feels like each song is just hitting even closer to home than the last. "a life sentence served and my body's the cell" this is. amazing. i can't wait for more ❤
This was hauntingly beautiful dude
The instrumentals mixed with the singing of Tsuina are wonderful but the lyrics are absolutely heartbreaking especially when i am not physically disabled, i dont like the idea that disabled people are always constantly in agony and gloominess 24/7 but man its also saddening being aware that being disabled does make life difficult in certain ways and it being a certain type of pain that nondisabled people will never understand, especially with it being a card that was just randomly dealt for no reason
You always know how to write lyrics with such. like. strong emotions behind them its literally amazing, you did an absolutely great job with this song and the ones that came before it !! i am excited for what else u got planned
They just like me
i just discovered this entire series today and i think of the four songs so far this one and splitter girl are the ones that hit me the hardest, personally. this series is fantastic and i'm eager to hear where both it and your other music ends up going in the future ultimately. happy to say i'm subscribed ^_^
This song is (incoherent screaming) it's so MUCH IN THE BEST WAY JUST. 1st of all the music and vocaloid are subtle but in a way that's more intense because of it and it's my current favorite it's just SO GOOD. And I love the story telling used where it's like... subtextual by choice??? Idk how to say it but the feeling of just because you're not saying it Explicitly but still making it Crystal Clear what you are saying!!!! It's just. That feeling of "you know exactly what I am talking about without having to say". And also it's just... on a personal level, while I can't relate to the exact situation, it really speaks to me bc I've been dealing with something that's just. I'm tired I'm out of step and idk what to do bc everything I could do feels like too much but this just... I can't even put into words how it makes me feel. It's like I feel overwhelmed with emotion because it's so cathartic? I just. It's a really good song on every level ❤
I'm so so fucking excited every time a TPTM song comes out I just obsess over it for weeks thank you for everything you do Weevil :))) You're making so many people feel seen
(i've typed up the lyrics here actually since i wanted them written out below and i havent seen any other comments with them)
AHHHGHHHGFH THIS SONG!!! the softer instrumentals and tsuina's voice make me feel like im smothering my face in cotton. the lyrics go so hard and i can FEEL the raw emotions beneath. yet another banger from weevil, please never stop being awesome
I got sick
and I won't be getting well
they told me there was nothing wrong
as far as they could tell
oh well
guess they can't tell very far
I have to be my own clinician, write my own memoir
with a body and a brain so sickening
practitioners find it not worth fixing
I'm scared I'm gonna lie down one day
and never get back up again
(it's written down on paper, you can't call yourself a faker)
(it's all true now. what'll you do now?)
they don't tell stories about people like me
cause what is there to tell?
5pm naps and childproof caps
my best friends, Adderall and Elavil
(a life sentence served and my body's the cell)
(no, I don't need to die to know that this is hell)
if only I knew how much time I had left
it would've been spent a bit more wise
and no, I know, it's not like I died
but it's hard to call what's left of me "alive"
I forget I'm an adult all of the time
'cause my body gave up when I was so young
and now I go throughout life puppet-ing my own corpse,
my own memory, a less alive kind of me
'cause the cells in my organ systems organised
for my involuntary parasuicide
and I swallowed my pride, left my old life behind
but to say I survived, it just feels like a lie
they don't tell stories about people like me
cause what is there to tell?
5pm naps and childproof caps
my best friends, Adderall and Elavil
(a life sentence served and my body's the cell)
(if I'm already dead yet or not, I can't tell)
I'm tired when I wake up, when I'm opening my eyes
when I'm not feeling low I get tired out by the highs
I'm tired when I go out, when I'm trying to exist
but if I don't, I get tired thinking about the things I missed
I'm tired, just tired, that's all I ever say
because I'm tired of my illnesses making me act this way
tired of being jealous of everybody that's close to me
no, they can't help they're not diseased, that's not the way they chose to be
I miss a life I never had, the everything I could've been
i hope they never have to understand the kind of pain I'm in.
the people I thought I could trust berated me, like that'd help
"you need to pull your weight" when I was trying not to kill myself
you tried to give me "tough love" and then wondered why I got so cold,
the shit I hid to keep you happy, you don't even wanna know
they don't tell stories about people like me
cause what is there to tell?
5pm naps and childproof caps
my best friends, Adderall and Elavil
(a life sentence served and my body's the cell)
(at the mercy of malfunctioning organelles)
shaking uncontrollably, my ibuprofen mornings
(and my prophets are Ramsay and Shepherd and Bell)
nobody would listen, my body was trying to warn me
(and there's only so much medication can help)
doctors said it was somatic, you all thought I was dramatic
(and it's nobody's fault just the cards you were dealt)
yeah, you meant well, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't traumatic
(I got sick and I won't ever be getting well)
now I only hope I don't keep on degenerating
shorter life expectancy I might as well embrace it
take my medication, get wasted
music-making while I'm sedated
call that crossfaded
hey, look ma, I made it
What a legend
i've just now found your music, and i'll be sticking around for the whole journey. hearing a song about me/cfs is so so welcoming to me. i've not been diagnosed but my symptoms are getting worse, and i'm so glad that i'm not alone. much love from a fellow fatigued person
i recently discovered your music and i’m so happy i did. your style is super unique and all the songs hit so close to home
Not my own experience per say, but a loved one. She had a sudden onset disease, no doctor could treat her in time. She died earlier this year. This song has been helping me cope. "If only I knew how much time I had left [with her], I would've spent it a bit more wise" and "I miss a life [we] never had, the everything that should've been" are especially relatable, minding my slight alterations.
You really are a lyrical genius. Thank you
GOD THIS SONG IS SO GOOD,,, I only recently found your album and I'm sO SO happy I stuck around. While I'm not disabled, some lines here REALLY hit (especially around the last third, it almost felt like a personal attack lMAO). I'm so glad there's something like this that disabled people can resonate with, especially something that's such a banger!!
"And it's nobody's fault, just the cards that you're dealt."
That's just it, right? Just the thing you get in life. You can't even get mad and make sense about why you're mad because it's just the way things are.
I don't know, that line hit me harder than the rest. It's really something that you can take both ways- good or bad. It all really depends on what you think at that point.
Way late to this but this song might be my favorite of your work. The story being told flows perfectly with the song and it all meshes together so well!
I fainted 2 times while listening to this song. Wish me luck
POTS moment
this is the first song to make me cry in a while, one of the only songs i can actually relate to on a personal level, even if my situation isnt the same.
ive never had this experience personally but god you do such a good job with the lyrics
Oh this is delicious. I love the verse so so much it rlly flows. And your lyrics usually take me a couple listens to grasp. But i think this one has some extra weevil soul in it and i got it instantly. When i saw the name originally i was like "she just like me 🙈" but actually the tea is yours. And it's as heavy as ever. You prove again and again that you will not be held back, and even with the weight you carry with you every single day. We struggle and we fall but we don't stop moving. I have so much respect and admiration for you dude.
The tuning is also so insane i literally could gush about this for two hours but I'll cut it here LMFaO I'll remember these songs for a long long time to come as i may have said b4. But it's so true lmfao. Another banger in tha list, patiently looking forward to the next chapter 💅 let me read this one a couple hundred times first doe 😋
CALL THAT CROSSFADED ONG ILY 😭😭😭😭
(ALSO ur video editing stYlE THE live action mixed with the cute character designs every time. It's just so professional and inspiring I can't believe we're living in the same time LOL)
Best one so far!! It sounds so glum yet hopeful to me!
I am viscerally angry at the lack of views.
im sad i cant give multiple views bc ive been listening to it on loop everyday pretty much
edit 30.02.24: life is doing better. things are getting better at home, and I'm learning to better cope with things. I'm able to take care of myself better, and I'm no longer constantly in "my life is over either way, why bother?" mode :D I thought I wouldn't make it to 16 - I did, but I stayed in limbo for years. turned 18, and by 19 I felt like it was all REALLY over. it wasn't! I'm still desirable and liked and alive!! AND I'm almost 21. I'm finally accepting that my diabilities aren't a death sentence, even if it'll be shorter 🎉 also I'm in my first actually healthy relationship, so that's nice. he's also unjudging when I have outbursts/episodes/have told him about past (worse) episodes 🛐🛐🛐
(ORIGINAL COMMENT) alright, venting here cuz idk where else to turn:
the amount of hoops ableds go through to invalidate the disabled experience is fucking MIND BOGGLING. for context, I have a lot going wrong, physically and mentally. my oldest sibling has a very minor stress fracture in their back. I'm the ONLY FUCKING ONE here who's actually disabled (asside from my grandmother, but she's not expected to do housework either way) and I have to do everything around the house! dishes, laundry, trash, taking care of the pets (ONLY ONE OF THEM IS MINE), etc. ON TOP OF HAVING A JOB. every single FUCKING TIME i go to ask my sibling if they can do THEIR FUCKING CHORE i get chastised; "oh they have back problems, they can't do much!" OKAY!?! ITS SOMETHING THEY CAN FIX!!!! IM PERMANENTLY DISABLED AND GETTING WORSE. WHY AM I THE WORKHORSE WHEN THERES THREE ABLE BODIES PEOPLE HERE!!!!! im so tired, i dont even have the spoons or time to even see my friends anymore. all of this shits happening and my siblings dont even want to clean up THEIR MESSES. our mother also just leaves shit around and blames ME. "you need to clean up all the shit you left in the living room!" "you left a mess on my desk!" SHUT THE FUCK UP THEY'RE LITERALLY YOUR THINGS!!!! YOU LEAVE THE MOST AMOUNT OF JUNK EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!
and like i dont even mind taking care of the dogs or doing the laundry. i dont pay rent, so doing my part around the house is fine. but what fucking sucks is when i have to do OTHER peoples shit and get yelled at for it. im so sick, literally and mentally.
I have hEDS and this really resonates, thank you for writing music like this, your music genuinely helps me feel better
I cannot wait to stream this on Spotify and add it to literally all my playlists
FR‼️‼️
this is SO GOOD i haven’t stopped listening to it since it premiered. i swear every song you make is SO AMAZING i love them all
Ok so, I’m going to be very honest and say that, I don’t listen to this song as much as the others. And it’s not because I hate it, far from that, but it’s more because it sort of hits a little close to home for me. I don’t have any physical disabilities, but I am on the spectrum. And for me, some things take a little more energy to do wether that be because of fatigue, overstimulation, or any other symptoms. Dealing with something that might be invisible to the human eye, wishing to be like everyone else, and getting angered by those that don’t know or don’t care about your limitations are feelings that I’ve felt on some sort of level in life.
I’m getting better at accepting my disorder and I’m still am, but still this song hits.
Love all of your work Weevildoing! Keep going in life and live it proudly.
Im so H Y P E D let’s get prepared for an amazing bop you guys
going absolutely crazy over this because i wish i could do all the things my friends did, i'm constantly tired and a mental wreck so all i can do is watch them knowing i can never truly be happy, i spend most the day sleeping as well so i constantly get told to pull my weight even though i'm trying my hardest.
that cat emoji thing is so silly, silly little cat haha!
Crying so hard rn this song hita close to home but I'm glad it exists. This was Divine, chef's kiss
i was waiting for the "just like me fr" girl, but jeez!! not this soon!! /lh been asking for so long for a diagnosis regarding whatever the hell is wrong with me but its just not happening, so. and you happened to drop this just after i got into an "i genuinely can't help that i'm like this" related argument with my mom, so i welcome this. thank you 🙏
this comment is old as fuck but as i'm going through my diagnosis journey this song has been so freeing. thank you so much
I’m cheering you on! Here’s to hoping I can get my own diagnosis for whatever the fuck is wrong with me-
I currently have mono, the part about being tired is relatable on so many levels
I just Love this song sm, I can’t even explain it. I’m autistic and have depression, getting sick constantly mixing in with those two factors makes this song even more relatable thank you weevildoing for this banger of a song ^^
the wait for this song was absolutely worth it. as much as i wish to support, i cannot send money directly. i hope watching this video on repeat helps! thank you for creating
Honestly every time a new song comes out from the manifesto it hits right home to my biggest struggle at the time. This song is so close to my heart right now, I've been born with a few disabilities that only got worse and worse over time, and even though I would complain everyday about the pain no one believed me. Only once it was so bad I couldn't move at all some days and I was fainting from the pain did anyone believe me and took me to the doctor. And now even if I can walk more because I have a cane I still am in bigger and bigger amounts of pain and I honestly should be in a wheelchair but because I can stand to walk even if I am in so terrible pain I pass out no one believes I need it even partly. And the worst part is, no one ever treated me like I'm a human being because of it. And now that I have to walk with a cane/crutches they all just stare at me disgusted on the street. and yet people have the nerve to ask if I'm actually disabled or do I just do it for the aesthetic
Man when I first listened to this song it made me cry, this song basically sums up how I feel at my lowest and highest points.
i’m not physically disabled but i hope its ok for me to say i still relate to this about mental illness. i probably have depression and anxiety among other things (just gonna say probably since i’m never getting diagnosed with anything and not even sure if i wanna be) and a fear of being sick and i related to a lot of the lyrics in here i love this song so much and i see a lot of other people relate to it and i’m so glad there are other people that relate to it in all kinds of ways
Yeah don’t worry! It’s an anthem for a whole variety of different people!
hoky shit i definitely found this at a time. realizing the way i was being treated for having energy and stomach and brain problems wasn’t normal. dude what the hell this shit is banging (in the best way possible)
ive never felt more seen by a song ever?? like genuinely as a chronically ill person i just feel so seen. thank u so much for this :)
There's a trillion things about this song I could say that simply wouldn't be enough words. Your composition, every lyric keeping me glued to the screen and listening, just. The everything. This whole song is truly just one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard...
Thank you so much for sharing your songs with us, truly. Things have been getting difficult in my life and a lot of your songs have helped me feel less alone in a lot of times. Your dedication to your art is truly inspiring and i adore every work you put out.
Thank you and happy new year! Hope you enjoy yourself
Whys this one hitting so close to home holy crap… you are genuinely the most underrated artist every, this album of characters with all their songs are just so damn good. You outdid yourself with this, amazing job! ❤
finally... someone understands...
💖💖💖
this song hurts, but it's so well made and good, thank you for providing us with your songs
THEY JUST LIKE ME FR???
oh the lyrics and the instrumentals are fucking gorgeous!!!! the way everything bounces in my ears is amazing
this one felt directed 😟
I cant wait! I am so excited for post traumatic manifesto, all of the songs so far have been bangers!!
im not the target audience but man this song is so good. props to you for making music that makes people feel heard, it’s a song that makes people feel it was made for them.
1:25 the lyric over here really hurts. I've been so burnt out by school that everyday feels like I'm carrying my own corpse.
""You need to pull your weight" when I was trying not to kill myself
You tried to give me "tough love" and then wondered why I got so cold"
This especifically hit me too hard, god
God your songs always make me so bhvfsubvefhjnj /pos
man this song made me cry a lot :'( i also got my cfs diagnosis recently and this hit home really hard... love your music and sorry for what you have to go through. this illness is not fun.
as a disabled lil guy myself (my pfp lol) this song resonates deeply
lyrics hit hard yet another masterpiece
The tired bridge is so good… I keep coming back to it and looping it, I also rlly love the tuning (? Idk if that’s the right word, the way she says stuff lol) during the chorus!
I really love every song you’ve created honestly, I really appreciate this album and the light they shine onto people who often feel left behind! I love your lyrics a lot, the relatability (even if they’re not like my personal experiences! Just the fact ik there’s others who are able to find extra comfort and feel seen makes every song even better) and pieces of yourself that you put into your music really bring every song to life.
For some reason when she sung of "childproof caps" it took me like, 6 listens to realize she wasn't singing about childproof hats(cap)
I am very tired