Why People Get Mentally Unwell

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  • čas přidán 30. 08. 2022
  • It sounds really strange to speak of the upsides of being ill. Surely there are only downsides?
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    “It sounds really strange to speak of the upsides of being ill. Surely there are only downsides?
    But rather than assuming, as we normally do, that our mental illnesses are just a problem for us, we can dare to ask in a spirit of open-minded exploration: What are my illnesses doing for me? Whatever their costs, what are their secret upsides? What are their unexpected benefits? Why might I be covertly siding with them against the possibility of health?”
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    Produced in collaboration with:
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Komentáře • 347

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq Před rokem +702

    When we're sick, we get to slow down and not rush, even appreciating the smaller pleasures in life. We may even allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and let others take care of us, for a change. 💗

    • @luvyou-baby
      @luvyou-baby Před rokem +19

      it becomes a problem (chronic)bwhen its been going on for years and its starts to be codependency, to the point you dont know how to stop

    • @Ana-jf1ch
      @Ana-jf1ch Před rokem +4

      Reading the Magic Montain by Thomas Mann, it's all there.

    • @DylanL814
      @DylanL814 Před rokem +11

      Unless your boss says you have to work and then you go home alone, no one there to take care of you

    • @jowyschwarz313
      @jowyschwarz313 Před rokem +5

      True, i become appreciate my life more and know myself better..but the burden to live with chronic illlness is the guilty feeling because we re burden to our family/loved ones because example we can't work or do job

    • @HelloThereIAmAlice
      @HelloThereIAmAlice Před rokem +3

      Yes, and anxiety about missing work or school (anxiety that isn’t financially based) when we have a cold etc, that might be something deeper and worth exploring/challenging

  • @abnoco
    @abnoco Před rokem +90

    I’m 57 and I only recently realized my family does not want me to be successful. I don’t know why but it seems to be the case. They’ll tolerate a modest amount of success, but not a lot. It bothers me. I stay away from them.

    • @ektasolanki8577
      @ektasolanki8577 Před rokem +16

      It's so surprising how long it takes for us to realize something so right in front of us because we are simply blinded by love

    • @Ryan46
      @Ryan46 Před rokem +6

      I found family want me to be successful, but definitely not more successful than they are.

    • @dingodiladi
      @dingodiladi Před rokem +2

      It's called malicious envy. It's because you are better than them (taller, smarter, better looking, younger). They are pathetic. You failing stops them feeling inferior

    • @tonipittoni5527
      @tonipittoni5527 Před rokem +3

      Yes it take a lon long time to realise that family can be a sick affair

  • @lilianwanjohi2631
    @lilianwanjohi2631 Před rokem +365

    Failing can be a protection against being envied. Felt that more deeply than I thought.

    • @sara-zx4wu
      @sara-zx4wu Před rokem +7

      Being paranoid can prevent us from aknolwloding who we are truly anoid with. This really took me aback 🤔

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 Před rokem +15

      @@sara-zx4wu Except, sara, you will find that sometimes even people you had thought of as friends resent rather than are happy for your success. I have seen this more than once. SOmetimes, they are not worth it.

    • @tariktune
      @tariktune Před rokem +4

      forreal.

    • @Will00110
      @Will00110 Před rokem +2

      Same! Constant pressure from my family for particular grades has led to a similar state

    • @katrinasteines-shopa5971
      @katrinasteines-shopa5971 Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@sara-zx4wuYeah that one spoke to me a lot too

  • @wronglyright
    @wronglyright Před rokem +95

    When i think about it, if we work too hard, we would get ill, that is our body way to tell us to go rest, always listen to your body

  • @anonymousnation5235
    @anonymousnation5235 Před rokem +47

    Coping with 12 years long depression and now PTSD made me realize that these illnesses are just the fire alarm for us to do something about a situation that went wrong. Once we take the compensatory steps, the illness starts to vanish. And when a long living mental illness vanishes, you feel like you're born again. ❤❤❤❤

    • @Rose-jz6ix
      @Rose-jz6ix Před rokem +3

      anonymous nation I have had bouts of stress, anxiety & depression since giving birth to my children. They are not a problem it was sexual abuse & harassment from a four year old onwards. I am 67 & so tired from fighting & my latest diagnosis is anxiety with PTSD. In between I loved walking, and was friendly to anyone & everyone. Now I am back to counselling, not sleeping, new meds, no motivation. My bedroom is my life. My husband doesn't know what to do & is now unsocial with most people. What a life, our animals are our family, our everything because depressive people are draining to be around.

    • @anonymousnation5235
      @anonymousnation5235 Před rokem +1

      @@Rose-jz6ix Rose don't tell yourself that. You're not depressing for the people who love you. Even if you are, they're not gonna give up on you. PTSD and anxiety need willingness to take a fresh start in life and to reflect on your thoughts. You'll be fine in no time ❤

    • @Rose-jz6ix
      @Rose-jz6ix Před rokem +1

      @@anonymousnation5235 that is kind. We moved interstate to be near the son & family who live in 🇦🇺. They don't visit us, or phone nor answer texts. Their lives are busy. I am trying to hang on because my sister is terminal with the same cancer that finally killed the Queen. Hopefully my fatigue, sadness, & lack of motivation will disappear. Merry Christmas 🎄

    • @anonymousnation5235
      @anonymousnation5235 Před rokem +1

      @@Rose-jz6ix I pray things get easy for you in sha Allah

  • @diannegoode9010
    @diannegoode9010 Před rokem +27

    My social anxiety protects me from getting hurt by other people. I was teased and left out by others at school and rejected by my mother. I knew this long before l went for help. Yet the anxiety remains

  • @NeilStainton
    @NeilStainton Před rokem +263

    I have Crohn’s disease. It first manifested in my early teens and has been problematic most of my life. But in the weeks after my mother‘s death it improved considerably, and I was more able to lead a normal life. So I agree with this video, many illnesses, not just psychological or emotional difficulties are a result of poor parental relationships.

    • @twosounds
      @twosounds Před rokem +2

      my grandmother had very much the same situation!

    • @karyne826
      @karyne826 Před rokem

      Maybe your mother had a similar story. Unfortunately.

    • @alelectric2767
      @alelectric2767 Před rokem +10

      I agree. My parents and I don’t agree on much of anything. They take small jabs at me.

    • @Pugetwitch
      @Pugetwitch Před rokem +5

      That absolutely was not the point whatsoever. Talk about missing the entire thesis.

    • @karyne826
      @karyne826 Před rokem

      @@Pugetwitch exactly!

  • @bluemuyunda4145
    @bluemuyunda4145 Před rokem +65

    I agree. Many of the negative behaviors we wish we didn't exhibit are reactions, attempts at coping, twisted ways of avoiding more difficult realities. Most of these frowned upon behaviors/coping methods are just attempts to self-soothe. The thing is some work more than others, and we must replace these mindsets and poor behaviors with healthier ones that serve our current selves.

  • @colorfulshow33
    @colorfulshow33 Před rokem +90

    Whoever is reading this, I pray that whatever you’re going through gets better and whatever you’re battling with makes your situation better as you’re continuing to be a better person each day. I have faith that you’ll turn out great as your circumstances will change. Have a fantastic day! You got this! 🤗💪🏼❤

    • @vaidehi_n
      @vaidehi_n Před rokem

      THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭💫

  • @Leo-mr1qz
    @Leo-mr1qz Před rokem +72

    Life is suffering. Once you come to that realization it makes going through it a lot easier.

    • @ciararespect4296
      @ciararespect4296 Před rokem +2

      Exactly. Check out "expect nothing" by Martin butler on here

    • @ranaeid2390
      @ranaeid2390 Před rokem +7

      Yes

    • @skatesatgod-fusion2619
      @skatesatgod-fusion2619 Před rokem +3

      I imagine that also makes you apathetic? Not just to your own suffering but also of others. Seems like a good way of passing on and normalizing toxic and destructive behaviors and practices instead of calling them out and addressing them. Which is why I'm averse to adopting that mindset, even though I know that its true that the one constant throughout life is suffering. I just don't want to be that person whose response to seeing another in pain is 'suck it up' or 'stop complaining'. Nor do I want others to minimize and dismiss my problems. Its the worst feeling in the world.

    • @greyhoundgrandma
      @greyhoundgrandma Před rokem +5

      I keep coming back to this quote, accredited to Haruki Murakami: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

    • @Leo-mr1qz
      @Leo-mr1qz Před rokem +2

      @@skatesatgod-fusion2619 I am not apathetic, I'm realistic. I've learned in my day, not to try to attain happiness, because your mind is built to go after goals. Once that goal is achieved, you move onto the next goal. Life is about keeping moving.
      I have empathy for other's but I don't drown in their sorrows. If my daughter falls off of her bike, I kiss her boo boo, tell her to dust herself off, get back on the bike, and try again. I don't let her dwell in the misery of it all, that makes for a weak individual. I'm not raising weak, meek women!
      Life happens. The way you deal, cope, and relate to it, is the quality of life inwhich you will endure.

  • @rufusthebrave
    @rufusthebrave Před rokem +67

    Totally relate to this. Took three months following my mother's death to find that there is value in my life.

  • @DrJFever-gf7zs
    @DrJFever-gf7zs Před rokem +151

    I got challenged with this by my therapist. I suffer from depression and she said what do you GAIN? It pissed me off at first but there's truth there. She called it secondary gains. I'm still not sure.....so thanks for the reminder to examine it!

    • @Pugetwitch
      @Pugetwitch Před rokem +2

      I know but there's no resolution in this philosophy. There's no resolution to the mental illness when you realize that it's rooted in your childhood. All you can do is try to mitigate the symptoms when they arise. The closest thing I have found to help has been EMDR therapy.

    • @DrJFever-gf7zs
      @DrJFever-gf7zs Před rokem +12

      @@Pugetwitch not all mental illness is necessarily rooted in your childhood. Or at least not all of it. That's the issue with mental illness.....it's extremely nebulous and multifaceted. It's also why the question in this video is important. It's not an often considered aspect

    • @life-on1di
      @life-on1di Před rokem +1

      @@Pugetwitch was EMDR suggested by a therapist?

    • @Pugetwitch
      @Pugetwitch Před rokem

      @@life-on1di no it was suggested by my ex-fiance who was abused terribly as a child by his father.

    • @Pugetwitch
      @Pugetwitch Před rokem

      @@life-on1di back when I did it very few therapist in my area practically it. A lot more do nowadays.

  • @walterroux291
    @walterroux291 Před rokem +61

    Physical not mental health here. But I became disabled at 20, I've spent more quality time with and gotten to know my parents in the past 10 years than in the previous 20 years as they help with my care. For that I will feel eternally blessed relative to my siblings who can sometimes only see them every few months as they live on the other side of the country.
    There are plenty of downsides, but I count my blessings.

    • @cheesball96
      @cheesball96 Před rokem +2

      Lovely comment ❤️

    • @whisperingwooper1763
      @whisperingwooper1763 Před rokem +3

      I got a lot of chronic pain that’s been coming back lately and while I’m not a fan it does help me in some aspects. It allows me to know my body’s limits and take more breaks when needed and makes me feel grateful that despite pain I’m still able to walk and function to do the things I enjoy to do. It puts into perspective just how important one’s physical health is.

    • @caroconga
      @caroconga Před rokem

      For every cloud, there's a silver lining.

  • @kimberknutson831
    @kimberknutson831 Před rokem +166

    Absolutely brilliant, as always. Thank you. My husband and I both had very traumatic childhoods, but the trauma was quite different. My mother is a narcissistic control freak who is a lawyer, ironically a family mediator, and has no contact with her only child, only grandchild and also has no or very few friends. She lives in a 3500 SF house and is essentially alone all or most of the time. She is quite adept at deluding herself and probably has some "really good" explanations and excuses for why she is alone that place the blame on everyone else. I have been peacefully estranged from my mother for many years. My daughter Lily turned 23 yesterday and only met my mother a couple of times. Lily understands and accepts that we have no relationship with my mother because the alternative is unacceptable. In my mind, however, my husband's mother was "worse" than my mother. His mother was controlling, narcissistic and other awful things, but she was also an exceptionally good actress and fooled the world outside of their home that she was a "really good person" and, according to her, "everyone loved her." She was a devout Catholic and regularly said, "Jesus is my best friend." Whatever. She needed to be seen as "good" in the eyes of all "Others." If things did not go her way with her husband and her two sons, she quickly became a victim, a martyr, and/or a saint. Her husband died of a heart attack in a bank parking lot at the age if 54. Her two sons are 62 and 64 and still have not recovered from her manipulation, and she has been dead for more than 15 years. My husband and his brother John have both struggled with depression and other "illnesses" for most of their lives because they cannot face the truth of their own hearts about what their mother actually was and was not. I am a woman but do not like a lot of women and some men because I cannot stand people who use "weakness" as a "strength." My mother is a B****, but at least she did not need to be seen as "good," does not care what most other people think, and never used supposed weakness to manipulate and control people around her. She loathes vulnerability and would not, therefore, even find the illusion of vulnerability that things like victimhood can afford desirable in any way. I did, however, feel intense guilt when I began distancing myself from my mother, and guilt is a powerful tool. The guilt I felt while trying to extricate myself from the energetic emotional tendrils of my mother almost killed me, but I had no choice. If I did not do separate myself from my mother's narcissistic, gravitational pull, I would have been leaving that work to my daughter, and that was not acceptable to me then or now. My therapist at the time said that if it were not for the existence of my daughter Lily, I would probably have kept drinking my mother's "Kool-Aid." My therapist said that when I saw my mother interact with Lily, I could finally see what she had been trying to tell me about my mother for years. At that time, I thought that I loved and respected my mother, which was a skill that I developed in order to survive being raised by her. That is what she requires from others, which explains why she is in her seventies, retired and utterly alone. Having said that, I vastly prefer my mother's dynamic to that of my husband's mother. The guilt that he and his brother experience if they think anything negative about their mother is too overwhelming to face. They instead prefer the illnesses of depression, anxiety, emotional distance, intellectual pursuits and other emotional distractions. I kept thinking of them while watching this video. My husband has made a lot of strides but cannot fully face the truth about his mother. His brother has been alone for most of his life and will die believing his mother was a saint because he will never face the truth of his own heart about her. I have noticed in instances like this that it seems like the person who feels guilt is protecting the legacy of someone else, but they are really just protecting themselves from the truth of their own feelings about that person. Finally, I used to teach English Literature and Academic Writing at a major American University. One of my favorite writing assignments was a unit I did about the difference between guilt and regret. As far as I am concerned, guilt has no value other than to keep certain interpersonal dynamics intact. There is nothing potentially redemptive or otherwise constructive about guilt. Remorse, on the other hand, suggests that you genuinely regret your actions and want to take responsibility for them and learn from your mistake. This is reformation at its finest because most of the important growing that we ever do IF WE EVER DO comes from making and learning from mistakes. Thank you all at School of Life for another truly excellent installment in what I see as your bid to save humanity from itself. Hah! : )

    • @algfourty9185
      @algfourty9185 Před rokem +12

      Thankyou for sharing your story, my thoughts go out to you and especially your husband and his brother

    • @kimberknutson831
      @kimberknutson831 Před rokem +8

      @@algfourty9185 Thank you. I really appreciate that, but everyone's circumstances are theirs to do with what they will or in many cases will not. I often say that I do not believe in accidents, but I do believe in miracles. I am not supposed to have been able to get pregnant because of some things that happened when I was young. I have never exercised birth control and got pregnant exactly once. That miracle's name is Lily. Her name is actually Lilith, but we call her Lily after Lily Briscoe, a character in a book by my favorite author, Virginia Woolf. She unfortunately experienced some of the same kind of trauma that I experienced as a child, and it drove her to madness and eventually suicide. She did leave a powerful body of work, however, that explores, among other things, what it is actually like to be a human being on any given day. Virginia Woolf created lots of memorable characters, but her "favorite" seems to be a person, usually a woman, who has the capacity to get people together and potentially experience an "exquisite moment," which is when actually intimacy is enjoyed between people. Clarissa Dalloway in Mrs. Dalloway is like this. Clarissa Dalloway: "for there she was." The opening line of that novel is one of the most famous opening lines in all of literature. "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself." The "events" of the novel take place in the course of one day while Clarissa prepares for and hosts an excellent party during which some very lucky guests get to enjoy some "exquisite moments." Some people have described me in these terms, which I consider a profound compliment. I do not lament any of my primary circumstances, as they were the "raw material" from which I could develop a meaningful life. I am still working on that. : ) I believe that I have succeeded in at least one way. My daughter Lily is brilliant, creative, happy, funny, kind, warm, imaginative, sober, cynical in a good way, silly, serious, and most of all authentic. I am not "perfect" whatever that even means, but Lily often says that her favorite thing about me is that I am "so real." I asked Lily recently whether she thought it was an accident that we were her parents, and she said, "Oh, God, no." She loves me and my husband Lawrence very much, but she has always sort of "protected" him from this and that. It is my belief that Lawrence will eventually access the truth of his own heart and have done with the white noise of his past. That is the hope anyway. This is probably not true for his brother John, unfortunately, but I often send out "prayers" for him as well. Thank you again for that. Finally, Lily just started another college semester after a few "gap years" like Malia Obama. : ) She also teaches at the Boys and Girls Club of America in Maui, Hawaii. Lawrence and I live on the Big Island of Hawaii where Lily used to live. She is working toward a degree in Elementary Education because she loves little kids. Lily is also a brilliant artist and can have successful careers in both. She is also interested in Art Therapy because she understands that there are certain things that people need to express for which there are no words. So true. Lawrence and I are both very artistic in different ways, so Lily grew up around lots of art, and we frequented art museums on the mainland before we moved to Hawaii about 12 years ago. I was able to "process" a lot of my trauma through artistic expression. Lawrence does not have that kind of a relationship with art, but I still believe that he is going to figure his way out of the wet paper sack of his past. Thanks again. Take care. : )

    • @janec.kowalczyk5824
      @janec.kowalczyk5824 Před rokem +2

      @Kimber Knutson
      I'm so sorry you've had to go through that.
      I too, can feel & understand your pain.
      We are not #victims of a #narcissistic mom.
      We are #narcissistic #surviors
      🤗❤️🙏

    • @kimberknutson831
      @kimberknutson831 Před rokem +5

      @@janec.kowalczyk5824 Thank you. I appreciate that, but, as I have already said, I do not feel "guilty" about nor do I "regret" my primary conditioning. Our circumstances are ours to do with what we will or usually will not, unfortunately. I am not interested in being a "survivor" of quite literally anything. I am interested in actual life. This is my plan, and I am sticking to it. Like Einstein, I am no more "brilliant" than the next person. I am doggedly stubborn and persistent. That is all. Thank you for the well wishes. Good luck and take care. : )

    • @HelloThereIAmAlice
      @HelloThereIAmAlice Před rokem +6

      Wow this was amazing to read, thank you for sharing

  • @5hydroxyT
    @5hydroxyT Před rokem +58

    i personally find this Adlerian perspective fascinating and it has helped me take better care of my own mental health...unfortunately, i think many who have been traumatized may not be able to adopt this ‘teleological’ view and will disagree or even find it offensive. When we are sick, we have to be ready to accept responsibility for the behaviours we are perpetuating, and change in a way that allows us to deal with our deepest, darkest truths. This is the turning point takes us down the path of healing...

    • @Drakavio
      @Drakavio Před rokem

      It's not teological, it's psychological

    • @5hydroxyT
      @5hydroxyT Před rokem +8

      @@Drakavio well, it’s all psychological ! by teleological i mean the mental illness has a function. This is opposed to ‘etiological’, which is the predominant perspective in the West. We see every mental disorder or dysfunction as being caused by something that happened to us in the past. Adler, however, held the view that we continue to behave in maladaptive ways because it serves some kind of function...

  • @ccyid3742
    @ccyid3742 Před rokem +8

    This reminds me of Feeling Good by Dr. Burns. Instead of denying the feelings that trouble us, perhaps there are truth in them that depicts who we are and should be reframed into a positive idea.

  • @nataliafan14
    @nataliafan14 Před rokem +11

    These videos are so incredibly helpful. I’ve dealt with mental illness and therapy and medications for 15 years. I’ve never had these things explained to me so well in all my years. I appreciate the graphics too-they definitely help. These videos are the perfect balance of bluntness and positivity.

  • @SoniasWay
    @SoniasWay Před rokem +55

    The bad parts of life make us appreciate the good parts. We value everything more because of our mortality

  • @BeNice2You
    @BeNice2You Před rokem +7

    This is a really brilliant take on the benefits of mental illness and unlikeable habits. I've witnessed that around my family system, the only way I can assimilate to the dysfunction and cruelty to one another is to be very depressed. Really interesting

  • @7788Sambaboy
    @7788Sambaboy Před rokem +12

    Kudos to the team...this was a great 4 minutes that lays out a very complex and paradoxical problem. Great intro for those who have personally experienced this and their loved ones...few are going to say, "hey, that's me!" but is was so well done, it might get the ball rolling.

  • @letsgoBrandon204
    @letsgoBrandon204 Před rokem +5

    My therapist told me that I was very insightful when I said; Being socially anxious when I was a kid and avoiding people as a result, was an adaptive strategy then, but not quite so useful now.
    It makes perfect sense for a child who feels overwhelmed to withdraw. None of my caregivers noticed that I had a problem, and I didn't feel like it was a good enough reason to seek help. A display of weakness which was (and is still) tacitly disapproved of by society when it's a boy doing it.

  • @ahmethamdicelik1277
    @ahmethamdicelik1277 Před rokem +1

    Very well-put and helpful, thank you for sharing!

  • @JS-Jms
    @JS-Jms Před rokem +5

    Excellent explanations and insight. Thanks 👍

  • @MsAuriauri
    @MsAuriauri Před rokem

    the illustrations are beautiful yet again !!

  • @impendio
    @impendio Před rokem +9

    I guess I’m protecting myself for the risk of failing by not trying.

  • @madkingmonty5089
    @madkingmonty5089 Před rokem +6

    I've noticed I became way more alert and aware to my conditions and coping with it

  • @LucasCarroll0
    @LucasCarroll0 Před rokem

    This was incredible, thank you.

  • @life-on1di
    @life-on1di Před rokem

    What a beautiful way to put it out!

  • @louisademetrio4408
    @louisademetrio4408 Před rokem

    Hello... "Being Manically Busy" can Block Out certain Feelings! I can definitely relate to this. Awesome Post. Hugs.

  • @annettecalandriello1123

    Profound,Best one yet.Thank you.

  • @craigmerkey8518
    @craigmerkey8518 Před rokem

    Wow very well done and as always amazing visuals!!!

  • @BubbleoniaRising
    @BubbleoniaRising Před rokem +4

    I bluffed and stumbled through for 49 years, often toward positive results. If I'm being honest, I fell in love with the little wins despite the struggle. In my creative moments, I looked for opportunities to "Easter egg" My work with self-referential objects and distractions.
    The truth is I hate myself on a way that EMDR and pills couldn't fix. I go out of my way to make up for it through passive positivity I misidentify as learning moments in the here and now.
    I know what my life is worth to the people who love me and I resent them for it a little, if I'm honest and present in the moment.
    My body is beat up and broken down after a lifetime of work and mere circumstance. I still believe I can write myself a door to a better life, but I don't trust my muse, or my self.
    My shadow is a disciplinarian. My through line is to shut him down and I need to evolve both sides to grow and recover, whatever that means for me.

    • @AnnaSzabo
      @AnnaSzabo Před rokem

      This is so profound and relatable. Thank you so much for sharing ❤

  • @sarahpovey7348
    @sarahpovey7348 Před rokem +1

    Watching others by any means then applying anything they think say or feel is for you. This happens when you project yourself onto others and it bounces back to you. Your not mentally ill, your projecting your thoughts into the 3d and manifesting that energy back on yourself.
    I had to learn this the hard way also. This is growing pains not a psychological disorder 🙏🏽💕

  • @elainer136
    @elainer136 Před rokem

    Really like this video, I could relate the various examples to various people in my life, as well as myself - brilliantly accurate video

  • @Fear_Therapy
    @Fear_Therapy Před rokem +1

    Thank you for making it clear for everyone to understand. #MentalHealthAwareness

  • @raymi9436
    @raymi9436 Před rokem +2

    This was wonderful!

  • @zahrinalutfia8699
    @zahrinalutfia8699 Před rokem

    Thankyou again thankyou, it really clear things out

  • @algfourty9185
    @algfourty9185 Před rokem +5

    Another excellent video full of food for thought, School of Life; thankyou! On potential video ideas: what does ruminating tell me about myself? I known it's caused by my stress and can deal with that but my mind never stops racing about things that don't matter or that i can't control; is it me trying to run from something uncomfortable or my fight/flight instinct at play? I know I need deeper counselling but I'd love a primer. Love your videos, thankyou again!

    • @ashleighsmith9804
      @ashleighsmith9804 Před rokem

      Fellow ruminator: getting caught in thought loops can be caused by lots of things, but the underlying reason is often stress. Seems annoyingly simplistic, I know! That's what makes it feel like fight or flight, or like running from something uncomfortable -- what you've described is your survival response, which can look different depending on your trigger. Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are all basic responses to stress.
      To find *why* your response to stress is rumination, you'll have to look to your own past for help. I grew up in an environment where I couldn't voice my stress and be heard and never learned how to channel that stress into a healthy outlet. So I learned to cope by bottling it up and turning it over and over in my head to process it on my own if I could. I've been told that this is a common scenario among us ruminators, but your mileage may vary.
      Rumination is something I still do, but I now know what to look for, and I've learned some ways of dealing with stress that are more cathartic and productive than to get caught in those thought loops. They still happen, but when they do, I don't feel so stuck in them anymore. Therapy with the right therapist made all the difference. Good luck!

  • @armyforlife3191
    @armyforlife3191 Před rokem +11

    Thank you. Can you do a video on BPD, Major Depression, Chronic anxiety and CPTSD

    • @joanncoopertroupe3506
      @joanncoopertroupe3506 Před rokem

      I suffer from all of these in your post!! i am age 64.. this has been Life Long for me.

  • @smyerskelley
    @smyerskelley Před rokem +11

    I was hoping this might be about physical illnesses- but an interesting video anyways!

  • @thelovelounge_
    @thelovelounge_ Před rokem +3

    It is imperative to take a break from any sort of mental and physical exertion during the course of illness. That's when a person realize how great it feels to be exempted from any obligation. The harsh truth is the fact that life isn't as uncomplicated as it used to be. There's soo much conformity with each and every one of us. On the bright side, it's assists in achieving our potential.

  • @nissreenalmazouni8765
    @nissreenalmazouni8765 Před rokem +6

    Please bring back videos with Allen's voice and reading! His pronunciation is very calming and reassuring!

    • @areejal-mizban2829
      @areejal-mizban2829 Před rokem +2

      Yesssss..I get disappointed when it is not his voice..this girl is rushed..and doesn't give the same magic feeling like Allen

  • @MrUnclegid
    @MrUnclegid Před rokem +3

    Please dare to think that some people are born with what society deems unacceptable levels of “mental” struggles & trying to mask & fit in can really amplify those struggles + help create other mental illnesses. Whilst NT’s create the norms on which our society is based not everyone is wired the same… great video for the majority

  • @alicesimon5149
    @alicesimon5149 Před rokem +1

    Today I wasn't able to watch this video when it released because I was busy trying to sleep off my fever, thing is I havent been ill in about a YEAR. But after I woke up I thought about the fragility of human being and how life can be as complex and as simple as a garden;
    like how one grass resembles a life, there's many in the garden when it's cut it's replaced and many of the grass would notice then forget and then eventually all the grass in replaced with new one. Being ill has also reminded me that life is just as sweet as you make it to be, even in times when you are ill try to slow down and evaluate it, are you happy with the pace? Do you have stable relationships and remember to be intimate? Are you brave in ways that might scare you at first because life is short? Being ill today really made me think, I think I got my answer.
    Edit: I was on about a different type of illness, to be physically unwell.
    Though I still do think there's some correlation so I leave it out here.

  • @katrinasteines-shopa5971
    @katrinasteines-shopa5971 Před 8 měsíci

    At first, when I saw this, I thought it seemed like a victim-blaming or ableist view. But the more I let it sink in, the more I realize that was my ego getting in the way. I think this video speaks a really difficult, yet powerful truth. I am so grateful to have a new way to think about things. 😊

  • @shanti888
    @shanti888 Před rokem +4

    Stewing in continuous negative thinking and hanging out with negative people can drag you down. Don’t be unnecessarily critical. It will affect your happiness.

  • @gamingrootz4411
    @gamingrootz4411 Před rokem +5

    This hurt to hear but I can't get passed it. I hate myself and know I'm a coward, but I'm probably using that as an excuse to do nothing. Life's complicated "/

  • @user-hl1ct3yh1r
    @user-hl1ct3yh1r Před rokem

    Wow I never saw it this way, thank you.

  • @anonanonymous1970
    @anonanonymous1970 Před rokem +5

    Ehhh... this kind of borders on blaming people for illness - which is already a big societal problem (HIV, cancer, COVID, etc.)

  • @KreeperSenpai
    @KreeperSenpai Před rokem +5

    Can you make a video about how to cope with an anxious attachment partner? There are a lot of videos about avoidant attachment but my partner would really like to learn about my attachment and learns really well from your videos.

  • @TanyaPal27
    @TanyaPal27 Před rokem +2

    This is amazing

  • @missmia5468
    @missmia5468 Před rokem +11

    I am not sure I understand this, it speaks of the benefits of being ill and then proceeds to explain that being ill is somehow a cover for hiding our true pain? Correct me if I misunderstood but this is not a benefit, being ill whether it is a mental or psychical ailment is not a choice or an automatic cover to hide pain, it is part of who we are as people, human experience is multifaceted and complex, being ill is a gift if perceive it as such but can also be a negative and bring us sorrow, struggle and pain, it is how we integrate and make peace with what is our reality that matters. Please do not misunderstand I am only stating my thoughts and did not mean to offend intentionally, just trying to analyse

    • @budogacha
      @budogacha Před rokem

      Please read The Road less Travelled by Scott Peck.school of life has done its research for its content fm various sources in psychology.good one-

  • @LuksdeSanfer
    @LuksdeSanfer Před rokem

    Love this channel

  • @viktoreidrien7110
    @viktoreidrien7110 Před rokem +1

    what a beautiful video

  • @saftheartist6137
    @saftheartist6137 Před rokem +3

    My current mindset 🧠

  • @gorkemgulan
    @gorkemgulan Před rokem +2

    Ultimately there are no good or bad feelings either. Just comfortable and uncomfortable ones. My boredom of two years being sick, two years corona lockdowns and finally getting corona pushed me to create art ❤ I hope everyone pushes past the uncomfortableness of illness and bad feelings for the better life our subconsious was desperately trying to lead us to.

  • @zagrosqazy3798
    @zagrosqazy3798 Před rokem +1

    The school of life wow thank you WOW what a incredible understanding you give me
    YES YES YES YES I AM SO HAPPY I FOUND THIS FINALLY 😭😭😂😅 THANK YOU 😊

  • @Jerryberger9235
    @Jerryberger9235 Před rokem +21

    Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it’s just so hard to source here

    • @georgewilliams1062
      @georgewilliams1062 Před rokem +4

      Psychedelics are the reason why i didn’t take my life when i was at my end. I was stripped of my ego and saw the beauty of life and interconnectivity and even though i still battle anxiety and depression, I’m doing better everyday and will never think in such a self destructive way again.

    • @zoeywinston6826
      @zoeywinston6826 Před rokem +4

      LSD and mushrooms completely changed my whole outlook on life. I became a better version of myself
      This experience gave me a lot of confidence about my self and my body. A bunch of bad thought / behavior patterns were broken. One of these was pretty bad OCD that made me wash my hands a lot. It gave me a lot of hope that things will be fine, this is the one thing that I heard throughout the trip: Everything is alright. The main reason for the trip was my severe depression and it definitely helped me (although it's not gone). Before all I could do was lay in bed. Now I am trying to rebuild my life one step at a time which wasn't possible before."

    • @sarahh321
      @sarahh321 Před rokem

      [_James_tray]
      Got psychs

    • @Jerryberger9235
      @Jerryberger9235 Před rokem

      @@sarahh321 Where to search?? Is it IG?

    • @nishaelvert1104
      @nishaelvert1104 Před rokem +1

      Last year, I took shrooms at Las Vegas thinking it was going to hit like an edible or something. Shit was scary at first but amazing once you start getting deeper into your thoughts

  • @espy2022
    @espy2022 Před rokem

    Oh my God…. So apt

  • @babatundekalejaiye7046
    @babatundekalejaiye7046 Před rokem +3

    The first people who will influence our outlook and approach to life are our parents and siblings.

  • @criticalw.o.r.t.h.4701
    @criticalw.o.r.t.h.4701 Před rokem +4

    The childhood burden of carrying that unbearable weight of one or more of our parent's mental illnesses can become a generational curse if we fail to become better students of self-awareness. Very early in my pain, I said with extreme prejudice, "If she weren't my mother, I wouldn't want to know her." A few among my seven living siblings found my words hash. However, I've come to reason that they were never told from as early as seven that they would never find anyone to love them. And they were never called or predicted to become "Ah nothing and ah nobody." None of them were taken to a so-called "spiritual leader" who predicted in their presence that they would be dead or go mad before age twenty-one.
    Even now, at age sixty-six on this day, September 01/2022, I still walk through my childhood ills-for many years-no longer a victim, thinking that after being hit by a car between the ages of six and seven, on a highway that had killed every other child before me. My early rewards for daring to live consisted of headaches, struggling to focus, relearning to read, and that unforgettable "spiritual leader" and her false prediction.
    Indeed, life is not a promise of any other assurance than the ability to breathe until we can't. And the faster we can begin to recognize and accept that we are the ultimate controllers of the better we imagine via our personal, individual, and collective OAR of W.O.R.T.H.: Ownership, Accountability, and Responsibility is, the faster we begin to struggle through, to the end of such mental and emotional generational claims on our minds. W.O.R.T.H.: Each of us is Warded Ownership Rights Through Hardship, in spite of obstacles.

    • @carlacondie8088
      @carlacondie8088 Před rokem +1

      That is a struggle to know that even as we age we deal with the remnants of our past. I started healing in earnest at 23, and the woman in my treatment group said that I could change the trajectory of my life by spending the time to heal early on.

    • @criticalw.o.r.t.h.4701
      @criticalw.o.r.t.h.4701 Před rokem

      @@carlacondie8088 Most of us are forever nailed to our childhood traumas. And for the bold among us, forever is not an option. Trauma from childhood ills is not a lacking of WORTH, but it demands of us greater Self-Recognition - Understanding - Respect - Appreciation - Acceptance - Availability - and the skill of Self-Adaptation.
      I will encounter no day that is not without warning-a signpost back to my childhood ills, and yet, no day will encounter me without warnings-many signposts made by my hands through Stumbles2Steadiness, Errors2Corrections, and Falls2Risings. WORTH is my permanence, for each of us is Warded Ownership Rights Through Hardship.

  • @siobhanmcgregor2557
    @siobhanmcgregor2557 Před rokem +1

    Failing helps my narcissistic mother I completely relate to that

  • @agenericboringhomosapien8108

    "It can feel better to be ill than realise one was always unloved"

  • @alikisrafilov5946
    @alikisrafilov5946 Před rokem

    Just got a flare up of my chronic illness and got recomend this video.....

  • @Alex.Shalda
    @Alex.Shalda Před rokem +1

    I’m on my sofa now lying with a temperature. This video came just in the right time. I reflected upon, and seems like I don’t get along with my boss at my new job. But that I knew, so perhaps it’s not psychosomatics this time, maybe just flu

  • @rustyshimstock8653
    @rustyshimstock8653 Před rokem +3

    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society. Jidu Krishnamurti.

    • @SN-sz7kw
      @SN-sz7kw Před rokem

      My thoughts, too. One wise writer (forget the name) noted the predominance of female depression. He analyzed the things that make women & girls feel healthy & called it a clarion call to realize what is wrong with our world. I think the same approach could be used to understand men’s depression.

  • @MaybejustNarbe
    @MaybejustNarbe Před rokem

    Brilliant!!!!

  • @DerekWoolverton
    @DerekWoolverton Před rokem +2

    I think the term in the video would have made the best title for this: "The (often overlooked) Purpose of Being Ill"

  • @amuhald2785
    @amuhald2785 Před rokem

    Wow.. I think I may have done is once..

  • @samssamsung8394
    @samssamsung8394 Před rokem

    Please post more videos about
    - Presocratics
    - Cicero

  • @christinantzachristou7433

    brilliant😍😍😍

  • @mariskab.9106
    @mariskab.9106 Před rokem +5

    It is definitely good to just be sick sometimes and just sleep it out :) good for body and brain and makes you more grateful for life in general when you can go out and about again.

    • @noblepolygon8694
      @noblepolygon8694 Před rokem +1

      I agree. I did this the other day after getting tired of trying to mentally work things out

  • @SaturdayAfternoonTea
    @SaturdayAfternoonTea Před 2 měsíci

    I have something for you: Look up an article starting with, ‘ Refining the resolution of craniofacial dysmorphology in bipolar disorder as an index of brain
    The side profile of the bipolar group was so similar to my side profile that we had to test it to make sure that it wasn’t ai generated. So, in early childhood, including ante-natal.
    At this rate it is very tiring feeling as if on my own against everyone.

  • @mohamedelfatih9826
    @mohamedelfatih9826 Před rokem

    I am A big fan of school of life. Have been following videos for about 6 years. I would like you to tackle a subject that has been around for A Long time : antinatalism

  • @clairepurcell7577
    @clairepurcell7577 Před rokem

    True to some extent, intellectually speaking, and in enough of a vacuum. Do also I strongly disagree! If you grow up living with or caring for family members who are severely traumatized/mentally ill/abusive you know what i mean--mental illness, trauma, whatever can be highly contagious and corrosive and can effect and psychologically destroy the targets or bystanders of the person suffering. I'm the daughter of a mentally ill/traumatized mother. I have been living with her for the past 6 months and being around her dysregulated moods, general psychic pain, confusion and hyper-vigilance has caused me to feel and behave in mentally ill ways....that are not serving me and have taken a heavy toll on my relationships and job and very sense of identity and reality. So yes, many external forces in ones life--an abusive work environment, relationship, a bullying parent, childhood neglect, chronic physical pain can lead to mental illness. And this does not come about to serve the individual, but is simply a collapse of the human being's ability to cope with reality under the weight of the burdens of their life.

  • @buzzawuzza3743
    @buzzawuzza3743 Před rokem

    excellent

  • @baileytran3378
    @baileytran3378 Před rokem +12

    I was so happy when I got covid last year. I was constantly lack of sleep and got lots of stress during the lock down time. But when I got covid, I was so tired and got the fever that I really slept like 20 hours a day for three day straight. It's been a while since I got fully charged like that and I love the feeling lack of smell and taste senses, since I am too sensitive so it's irriated daily to me. I never realize life was this easy when I cannot smell or taste anything anymore, I can eat whatever without feeling like vomit. People might think this sounds crazy but that was one of the best time for me.

    • @ciararespect4296
      @ciararespect4296 Před rokem +1

      I loved covid full stop.. I wasn't ill but liked everything slowing down. Not much traffic etc. I would love it again to get rid of 5 billion people off the planet. Of course not me or close family. We would have loads more space

  • @m2pozad
    @m2pozad Před rokem +5

    I'll not touch this one, too complex.

  • @krutibhavsar9534
    @krutibhavsar9534 Před rokem

    Yes, that's my mother.

  • @shehryarsajid4201
    @shehryarsajid4201 Před rokem +1

    I dont know what to think now.

  • @Kelos7
    @Kelos7 Před rokem +12

    woah now: there's a lot of trauma out there & this will resonate for a lot of people, but this can also make for some really damaging self talk from a neuro-divergence perspective. It really doesn't do a lot of good to question what you're getting out of processing things differently, certain that it seeming maladaptive for your present environment must spell that there was something your past wherein you didn't suffer from it that you're therefore compensating for, and gaining something by avoiding the past, more outwardly sensible behavior. we develop coping mechanisms for all kinds of things, and not all of them are so simply external. You have to ask yourself if you had an age when that kind of reaction would have been uncharacteristic as well, because otherwise, it might well not be trauma, but something about your chemical makeup.

    • @MrUnclegid
      @MrUnclegid Před rokem +2

      Thank you for posting this.

    • @vaidehi_n
      @vaidehi_n Před rokem +1

      good explanation

    • @collettewebster1056
      @collettewebster1056 Před rokem

      Sick to my stomach through this whole video. This channel really needs someone from the autistic community to educate you on ableism. The judgement and examples given are from, who? Just sickening

    • @collettewebster1056
      @collettewebster1056 Před rokem

      Sorry, meant that last reply for this channel, not this particular commenter

    • @Kelos7
      @Kelos7 Před rokem

      @@collettewebster1056 y'cool, but try to keep it positive for your own sanity. they...mean well I guess

  • @vjr5261
    @vjr5261 Před rokem +2

    Being unable to live up to expectations

  • @Ammi1988
    @Ammi1988 Před rokem +3

    Right in time for being down with Covid for the third time.

  • @lovewenwin
    @lovewenwin Před rokem +2

    Undiagnosed/Undiagnosable physical conditions are a big cause of "mental health" issues.

  • @eserl3239
    @eserl3239 Před rokem +1

    What is the source of this information? Is there any study or research that you can cite?

  • @djinabaletic2221
    @djinabaletic2221 Před rokem

    I have decided to come off medication partly and investigate why. More pain, indeed.

  • @skydog07sb
    @skydog07sb Před rokem +1

    First time I get sick in a long time after talking about how comfy being sick is last night lmao

  • @lauravo3355
    @lauravo3355 Před rokem

    This is me 100%

  • @YourMomXD1337
    @YourMomXD1337 Před rokem

    Shirley

  • @sl4908
    @sl4908 Před rokem

    My mom as passed a way and i have forgiven her the best i can. I had a bother with down syndrome and i loved him dearly, But my mom would allow him to hit on me i felt hated for being the normal child and i am smart but did"t try in school at all so beaten down. When my dad was at home my bother would not lay a hand on me and i don"t blame my bother. Long story short i got married young and had a baby i wanted to be away from that abuse. Have let people abuse me until about 2 years ago i will not take any thing off of anybody anymore. Don"t look for trouble. The good news is i worked with children for many years and if they had been abused they come to me for help and i helped make there life better. So something bad came out beautiful later in my life. Hope this helps some one. Take a stand for your self..

  • @dmtdreamz7706
    @dmtdreamz7706 Před rokem

    Connecting with the joy of looking at absurd things. This will make you fall in love with life. The absurdity of when I walk out of my house, I look at trees, cars, the sun, the clouds, the desert, where I live. Even my own body. When I look at my own body I just get joy out of looking at the absurdity of my own body. My body is a work of art. I can connect with that um. Just that alone is enough to create an amazingly fulfilling life.

  • @anet-8121
    @anet-8121 Před rokem +2

    Why they never can just get straight to the answer? So much was said yet I still learned nothing...

  • @TREVERCYLEGEORGE
    @TREVERCYLEGEORGE Před rokem +1

    THE FOREVER STORY
    ALBUM OF THE YEAR.......IYKYK

  • @sudarshanbadoni6643
    @sudarshanbadoni6643 Před rokem

    Whatever illness of any kind physical emotional or any other kind like Carona by the way is handled by the way we all in different ways. But STOIC essence teaches us to to exist by selfless SERVING of indomitable integrity and that ultimately becomes the definition of life well lived. Thanks.

  • @christinahall2587
    @christinahall2587 Před rokem

    Recommended video : ‘ The Mind-God’s Design and What Went Wrong ‘ by Dr. Timothy R. Jennings. ❤

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT Před rokem +1

    Exhaustion

  • @beththreat5098
    @beththreat5098 Před rokem +2

    I think I have this illness and I'm sabotaging my relationship with my partner! I'm afraid I've really crossed the line this time and it's over! It's all my fault!😥😥😥

    • @KickTheStickzShows
      @KickTheStickzShows Před rokem

      I don't know if this helps, but just had that thought to tell you about Alan Robarge (on youtube, also called "Improve your relationships" it's also the name of one of his programs). He has helped me a lot, so I recommend checking out his youtube channel. Much love!

  • @sneakerbabeful
    @sneakerbabeful Před rokem +2

    Is is downright insulting.

  • @luvyou-baby
    @luvyou-baby Před rokem +6

    the channel “Teal Swam” just uploaded a video explaining the same thing exactly, i just watched it before this one. i already started to suspect that what im going through ,is a way of my subconscious mind to over protect me. now im want to find a way to release this resistance , so i can completely heal. & do things that i want.