Being Transgender in China: The Two Lives of Li Ermao (Human Interest Documentary) | Real Stories
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- čas přidán 8. 12. 2023
- Li Ermao was born a boy, but has lived for many years now as a “ladyboy.” She performs in clubs, but yearns for true love and acceptance. The film follows her life for 17 years, in which she displays resilience and vulnerability in equal measure, and repeatedly encounters prejudice and even aggression.
She and her boyfriend move to the countryside. There, they try to build a new life in harsh conditions on a plot of land inherited from her family, but she is once again met with rejection. She returns to the city, where it looks like she might very well collapse under the pressure of life as a transgender person in China.
As the years progress, filmmaker Jia Yuchuan increasingly drifts from his position as neutral observer. He gradually becomes part of the story, like an older brother to his protagonist. In voice-over he shares his concerns, and when Ermao hits troubled waters, he’s there to help. This subjective style only adds to the story’s impact.
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This was so so sad. 😞 what a tortured soul ☹️
One off the best and moving documentary’s I’ve seen in a long long time.
RIP 🪦 beautiful soul 🫶🏼🫶🏼
With the multiple times that Ermao self-sabotaged her life with her gambling, alcohol, and drug additions, in my opinion, this documentary was about undiagnosed and untreated mental illness in China rather than about being transgender in China. Given the back story about Ermao's father, I have no doubt that she was traumatized as a child (hence she ran away from home at 12 years-old) which may be why she using several addictions to self-medicate. My heart breaks for the fact that Ermao was not guided to seek mental health treatment.
You can't fix how society treats trans people without fixing how society treats transpeople.
Not a lot of people care.
Therapy isn't effective against minority stress.
True.
Wow, how empathic.
totally, and I have went to shrink several times in China, and all I can say is so unprofessional...... Also if u go to hospital their just gonna ask u to take a questionnaire test and then give you pills and u can go home....
and I feel like the main reason is China is still a developing country with huge population base. That's saying they are not put money in curing or taking care of ppl's mental health. Plus the working time and working environment is also bad, so more and more ppl are getting sick mentally
I just found this article about how Li Ermao died.
It's even more heartbreaking!
The documentary maker wanted to let her know that this documentary was up for an award, but she didn't pick up her phone.
Eventually the documentary maker called the police.
'A few days later, the police found Li Ermao, who had been dead for many days, in a dilapidated rental house in Qu County, Sichuan.
If it hadn't been for Jia Yuchuan to call the police, no one would have remembered this little person, and no one would have discovered that the 41-year-old had already died in the rental house for many days.'
😭
Yes it is! Honestly how i really really WISH that EVERYONE can accept people like Ermao! I mean accept Ermao like a normal person and treat Ermao like a normal person. Yes Ermao is a transgender but still a human being! If he feels like he wants to change to be a woman let him be as long as he is harmless! But UNFORTUNATELY not everyone in the world think like us towards people like Ermao! But nevermind KARMA is great! I really hope that those people who had MISTREATED Ermao will get the same treatment someday. What goes around comes around! Treat people the same way u EXPECT and LIKE to be treated.
@@noorimeldaelle3403 You said all that, but still misgendering her.
@@KimBlaQueHe is a beautiful feminine man. Nothing wrong with that.
@@littlecatfeet9064 exactly! that's what i am talking about. thank u so much for your kind understanding.
@@noorimeldaelle3403 no problem ☺️
Crazy how the relatives laughs when they talk about his dad’s human trafficking practices
I found that creepy and scary too.
It's so scary, that laugh.
yeah vile
but the asians tend to laugh when they are upset or nervous etc so...
@nickdawson9236 Are you generalising that all asians does that? Dude, that's racist.
Perhaps in their culture it's ok to laugh at tragedies and things
Watching this my heart broke for Ermao. I can't imagine how hard life was. You never know what is going on in peoples' lives. Be kind to every stranger and try to be the bright spot in their day. We don't know the struggles everyone deals with daily.
Damn . . . That's the best documentary I've watched in quite a long time . . . Heartbreaking.
It's definitely a first for me!😮
At least this story can be seen by people and hopefully it touches them in some way so his life wasn't in vain
@@abcxyz2927What about all the people who treated them badly?
@@abcxyz2927 you said that isn't heartbreaking but it surely is
Very
Wow I didn't mean to watch it all but couldn't turn away....
It's a life we aren't really exposed to in general
Kudos to the film makers perseverance 👏
Regardless of your personal beliefs, Ermao was still a human being who desperately wanted to be loved and accepted by society. My heart hurts for her, and I do hope she was able to find peace before she passed.
Me too. My heart aches for him and others who have to defend themselves again ignorant miserable people. If they paid attention to the train wreak they call life they wouldn’t have no time to police others. RIP beautiful lady.
*he/him.
*her
She was literally coerced to become a man so that she could survive. @@johnnunn8688
@@johnnunn8688 Do you really think that's appropriate to write under this person's comment?
Him
There I fixed it
The amount of pain Ermao went through is over human possibilities. What a beautiful but restricted soul. I would have loved to be her friend.
Me too. I felt her pain and I wish she would have been comforted more.🥺
Me too 😢🙏🏻❤️
He
Yea? She had had two handsome and nice boyfriends who really cared about her and wanted to be with her, but she chased them both away in the most insulting manner. WTF. She has mental illness and drinking problems. You can't save her.
I think this might be the most emotional and best documentaries i've ever seen in my life. My heart breaks for Ermao and i truly cried when the last message on screen appeared. She wanted so bad to feel free and accepted in society, but had so many problems and never any real professional help. Thank you so much for sharing her story and i hope things get better for trans-people in china with time.
Did u cry every time
.. very, very compelling..the yearning for acceptance ..for love ..grateful Ermao had Jia, as an older brother - "May his vibrant soul rest peacefully".. indeed a vibrant soul. Thank you to all involved ..❤🙏🏽🕊
What a beautiful, powerful, yet fragile & tortured soul Li Ermao was! It saddens me that Ermao wasn't able to find acceptance in this life, from family, society or from self. Ermao only wanted what we all want...to be able to fully express our true selves, to be loved, to make a decent living & to live in peace. It was deeply upsetting & maddening to see her/him try so hard & get so close only to have it ripped away or thrown away time & time again. May you find the peace in death that eluded you in life, Li Ermao. Excellent documentary...perhaps the best I've ever seen. Thank you, Jia Yuchuan!
She was forced to de-transition because of society. I hope she has found peace wherever she is now.
He/him its all in the brain
@@blahoo79it's all in your own brain.
Don't know what a Eunuch is do ya? Or a two-spirited person?
You sure don't. You just stick with that closed mind of yours. Don't like someone being comfortable in their own skin? Mind your own business.
It's ppl like you who kill ppl like her inside.
Yes, she was female in the brain.
Why was the aunt laughing about human trafficking? Disgusting.
And the sick relatives laughing about eating the oldest son😬
The relatives think it is funny. Karma will be coming for them
Watching a person in a death spiral is painful. 💔 This is an example of how trauma can lead to more trauma if not treated. What a tortured soul 🌹Absolutely heartbreaking. 💔
Rest in peace Li Ermao. You deserved better in life and from your village.
Thank you for sharing Ermao's story. Absolutely heartbreaking to watch her in so much pain, desperately wanting love and acceptance, yet be treated with prejudice by family and society, and self-sabotage with her untreated mental health issues. It was heartening to see Jia care deeply for her and getting more involved as her life developed, and finding her after she passed to give closure, that she didn't pass alone and nameless with no one looking for her.
I sincerely wish that wherever she is now, Ermao is free and in peace 🙏
Everything Ermao went through. The highest highs, and the lowest lows, never being accepted as her true self. I bawled at the way her " relatives," and the town laughed at her.......none of them wanted to help, none of them tried, just criticized and expected her help. I'm so glad she had Jia as her older brother, and he was always honest and loved her as she was, who she was! What a pure soul Ermao was, gone too soon from this world. I hope she found peace.
Her aunt literally gave her the jacket that was on her back so she wouldn't be cold. That was sweet❤
One of the best documentaries I've seen recently. My heart aches for Ermao. I see a little bit of myself in her and I know I will most likely die alone forgotten in my apartment.
Not going to happen... 👍🏿
I said the same thing too....hopefully that doesn't happen
I see a person that can make the changes needed to become happier, and I see a person that’s letting fear of the unknown hold them back. Every sunrise is a new day, instead of taking the same route take a different route home, go to a new store, go for a walk in nature etc. the same ole will drive one mad. Live in the present.
😢 why would you think that, please surround yourself with good people. We all need good people
i also fear this will be my fate. I consistently fail to fit in and form lasting connections. people call themselves my friends but would not be there if I called upon them. i had gender affirming surgery last month and not one of them even called me let alone visited me while recovering. i fear the reason it is discovered ive passed will be that the rent was due and the landlord will find me after a month..This film moved me in ways i cant describe... so many parallels to the lives i know...
Extraordinary documentary, words cannot describe what I felt while watching this. It is so heartbreaking. I hope Li Ermao is resting in peace
What a story!Thank you for putting this together with empathy and love for Ermao. Kudos to Jia Yuchuan - this was really well done.
Incredibly sad and a brilliant documentary!
Damn 😢. I wasn’t expecting this. This documentary was so raw and real!
So many times while watching this I wished I could hug her to comfort her.🥺😭
the storyline is to deep, i cant help it but cry..i have never watched a human interest so real in a long time
Li was so animated.Its a shame how she was basically forced to 'adjust' to society in order to live a relatively normal life.I am not trans but I too have been ostracized for being different.May Li rest in peace.
One of the best documentaries, I feel like she wasn’t thinking clearly the whole time.
I really hope the ex boyfriends were contacted about the diagnosis. Thats really important they know.
My eyes are open to this beautiful soul,who knew how to survive but wasn't given a chance to deside for himself
She was caught in the grip of three addictions: gambling, drinking, and drugs. Like many others, these vices shattered her dreams and ruined her life.
She became Sober and worked hard after returning “home”. The Villagers Stole her land and forced her out! They laughed over the horrible actions of her Father and excused him. They mocked and abused her simply because of who she was. May she Rest in Peace! Had those Horrible Villagers Not driven her and Long out, the two of them would’ve built a good life together despite being treated so unfairly and horribly! She lost her hope and then her sobriety and as a result, her life. 😢
The ending was so so sad. I cried. How can sb born in a country get kicked out by everyone. Maybe she at peace now. The father is the one that brought curses to his family 😢
After watching this blunt yet sensitive look at a transgendered person in China, I have to say that I was not only moved emotionally but also felt a certain amount of discomfort. Ermao needed mental health care but I did not see any evidence that she was seeking help. What is the stance of the Chinese government on mental health and even cultural beliefs?
Ermao appeared to have had a gambling issue along with a very vocal, desperate want for absolute love that led to her partners leaving after a barrage of drunken rants of affairs and unemployment. There were so many red flags, so to speak, while continuing on her path of self-destruction. The point, I feel, where Ermao 'gave up' was when she was told she tested positive for HIV. It was like what feeling she had to become a woman, to live her life as a woman, was gone; as if she had been betrayed (more likely, self-betrayal). Sadly, I was not surprised to learn she passed away.
I'm hoping this documentary has opened up a dialogue among persons living in China about being transgendered as well as mental health issues, and addictions. Thanks Jia Yuchuan for creating, filming, and showcasing this all-too-important topic that warrants further discussion, globally.
The dude giggling weil confirming human trafficking and describing how they mushed 'IT' like ginseng is the creepiest part of it all.
Very difficult to watch but one of the best documentaries ive seen in a long time
Beautiful documentary ❤
Heartbreaking & interesting. What a true friend the filmmaker ended up being to Ermao.
Oh my gosh! This broke my heart about how people can suffering on this life !!!! Thanks for share this story that touched me and many here .
If only Ermao did not have the gambling problem, Ermao could've lived quite contently.
Do not place the blame on her, this is a problem with China. If she had actual support, this would've never happened.
Apparently addiction isn't a cause but a result of mental trauma. Like any "addict", she was simply hanging onto whatever gave her hope in an insufferable life.
@@KrissKrossSauce do you not see how she often blamed her partners when things go wrong, when questioned about her gambling, it's always all about her?
exellent❤❤❤I really congratulate you for making such a good movie
I hope Ermao found peace
Sadly peace in death ,some people just can't find their way in this crazy thing called life
Die Dokumentation hat mich sehre berührt. Li du warst eine wundervolle Seele auf der Suche nach der unerreichbaren Liebe. mögest du Frieden finden, dort wo du jetzt bist.
What a difficult life :(
She really needed some therapy. I feel so bad for her. She needed help. She had so many issues. I could recognize the patterns of self sabotage. Maybe with some love, validation, and therapy in a better world, she would turn out alright. May she rest truly in peace❤❤
Ohhh my gosh I totally enjoyed this documentary, thank you so much for sharing, thankyou for opening up your life and sharing I hope you are okay now blessings to you, such honesty hard rawness , peace and happiness and love ❤️
It gives me pause whether her life would have been any better or worse in America or Europe than in China, where she felt such pressure to be a “real” woman. I wonder if all ladyboys feel they have to completely transition, or was it just her and some others. It was shocking to hear about her father, wow, that was insane. She struggled with a very difficult childhood, and was surrounded by drug addiction, prejudice, alcoholism, and gambling addictions, and possibly mental illness, but so many people of the LGBTQIA immunity do struggle with many of these issues too, all over the world. Very thought provoking video although I didn’t really see this as a “transgender” documentary but a documentary about one woman’s struggles in life. May you rest in peace lovely lady, Li Ermao.
So heartbreaking 💔 and angers me she couldn’t be herself and was treated so poorly by society. Thank you Jia for being there as a big brother to Ermao.
*he.
@@johnnunn8688Whatever Troll - Grow up and grow some Compassion in your cold heart!
@@christinebuckingham8369 , did you not watch it. HE decided to go back to being male. (Not that HE was ever anything else.)
@@johnnunn8688Stop being negative on this heartbreaking story. I'm sick and tired of people on this comment section being transphobic when this is so much more than that + it's disrespectful too.
@@wolfzmusic9706 , guess what, you cannot tell me what to do. 👍 He’s a male, he admitted it himself.
This was a reallyyy good doc, wow.
What the village did was that they seized on the opportunity to take your land, chicken and goods for themselves and gave you nothing for money. I think they made up that rule that your friend would not be happy there so you can leave them with all the hard work you've done, but I would have taken my chickens with me.
Why doesn't anyone talking about the man who ate his son like wtf 😱
I thought I was the only one who heard this. That was horrible.
I love to watch documentaries..but this one i love the most but hurt me the most too😢😢😢 i feel sorry for ermao...
He struggled a lot while living in this cruel world..he may rest in peace...
She was her own worst enemy. With her identity, relationships, alcohol and especially gambling. Believing surgery would solve all her problems. If only she accepted herself for the wonderful, beautiful trans women she was
他没办法，因为出生的环境和教育，他认知不到更高一层的东西，只能在周边的环境里挣扎。
Reading all of these comments gives me a shred of hope for humanity. I wish everyone was as open-minded and kind as this audience. Thank you!
She lived with people that did not know she was transgender, and she had gotten into a violent fight with them. I honestly think that when her boyfriend left her it brought up the pain of abandonment and she gave up home, coupled with the fact that she was insecure of the fact that Jiang also liked being with biological women
I feel so sad for him. He felt so alone in this world.
This documentary deserves an award
my heart breaks while watching this. may he rest in peace. a lot of lesson can be leaned while watching this documentary, we must love ourself first before others...
For one moment I really thought she could live peacefully in the village with her boyfriend, chickens and dogs. Even with all the struggle she was doing great, she was fighting for her happiness. I don't really know if she had a religion but I hope some God can bless her sad soul :(
Across history, continents, and cultures, transgender people have existed. It is a reality of being HUMAN. And being human, we ALL deserve KINDNESS.
Narcissists twist the minds of people, convincing them that some humans with certain characteristic (skin colour, sexuality, religion, left-handedness, post code, wealth, gender, etc) is sub-human and must be punished. But narcissists are INSANE -- they appeal to the abandonment of reason.
It's the age old story of narcissist "othering" individuals to gain adoration, and in the process instigate UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS. Their followers abandon their humanity under the deranged spell of the narcissist, and perpetrate great evil.
Instead, be kind.
Yes to this!
this was a heavy watch... rest in peace
This story was so heartbreaking.
54:50 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! That whole conversation had my jaw on the floor! WTF!!! And the old man just laughs!
This is the first time i am seeing any real life documentary... And i loved it❤ Ermao
Great doc , Life is hard and some people never get a break . Maybe the next life will be better .
This was truly a beautiful and heartbreaking documentary 😢
Rest in paradise Li Ermao 🙏
Such a sad story but so real! Thanks for sharing your life with us ❤🙏and hopefully Ermao ‘s soul will be rest in peace ❤🙏 李二毛！天堂安息！
Just so sad, conflicted about his role in life and as a person. I cannot believe they ate the baby.
I can they were starving.
This breaks my heart. Such a beautiful soul. I cant imagine the struggle, and I will be more appreciative of what I have in my life, and the people. Wonderfull documentary. Im so sorry, that it ended like this Ermao.
uau really amazing doc and ermao beautiful resilient soul
Wow.....just wow..... 😢 amazingly emotional and heartbreaking
Just rewatched this, its at 20:30 that the trajectory of this beautiful soul changed forever, her first boyfriend did not understand how she truly loved him, she was dealing with a lot but his constant cheating invalidated her now this does not excuse her gambling but when he left there was such a dark and immediate shift, she literally tried to pretend to be a biological female to internet strangers that she just met, she was self harming, her drinking was out of control and you could see that she had become a shell of herself. I think the last relationship was the final straw in the coffin but truly her life changed for the worst after her first relationship ended. Never take for granted what you mean to someone and how you could be their entire reason for living. Rest in peace sweet soul
Wooh! its a roller coaster of emotions that I felt watching this documentary. Ermao was carrying a lot of trauma from the family that he was born from and that carried over to his adult life. Its so sad, she worked so hard to escape that reality. In the end, all he wants is to be loved but these mental problems got in the way that she sabotaged herself.
PS, I was so stunned of how they just casually talked about her father who sold babies and ate his own son. I cannot fathom how a person would do that let alone get a laughing reaction from that old man like it was a normal thing to do. Geez.
Thank you for a very insightful documentary and a transferer, May Ermao RIP 😢
That breaks my heart.
it is really sad, that he did not have anyone to guide him to the right path and ended up spending his twenties like that.
Thankyou Emao for sharing your life with us all you are so strong and beautiful
this is brilliant
The boyfriend wants a real woman not a fake one
Amazing person and story just to be loved ❤😢🙏 this should be a movie
Heartbreaking 😢,my heart goes out to him.Sad that he's no one to really be there for him
Wow, how Ermao lived, how many times he was up and life took it from him, and how he just wanted everything to end and live happily but that day never came.
Ermao was a beautiful soul but changed and sabotaged himself when he was drunk due to his lack of self-confidence and pain. R.I.P. to a great person.
So heartbreaking 😣 I hope she’s living her best life free of pain and heartache ❤
Unfortunately, Ermao passed away😥
Great documentary!!! We should have more documentaries like this
Realy? TV is already full of stuff about transgender people.
I don't get to see many documentaries from China. I've seen a bunch on usa
Pam it's no we don't want to see more like this narrow minded people where people are like evil to another being
@@wisdom801 speak for yourself. I like Drama.
Drama cheers to you and your words
back to you karma anyway have fun
That was so very sad. My heart really hurt for him. Obviously, no one really gave a crap. How can ones family just toss them aside?! Just bloody sad.
Sounds like the family had many many troubles from the past
Definitely a sad outcome but their story will be known now thanks to the film makers
Her*
Him*
this was a crazy watch
Ermeo my heart truly hurts for you. ❤
So incredibly sad! I wanted to turn it off after ten minutes but I said let me give it a chance. ❤❤
This documentary reminded me so much of the movie "Farewell, my concubne".
Quite shocking the life of everyone in this excellent documentary. Heartbreaking,,sad and brutally raw. I respect most customs but her father was a monster.
Regardless of hes sexual preference,hes still a human being like us who deserve to be treated equally😢
Thats a great documentary
Great documentary, but I hate the ending. RIP Li Ermao.
It's really heart warming and eye opener
God Damn this was hard to watch. It broke my heart to watch as Ermao's life was built up and then torn apart time after time. I almost cried when i learned she had died without any one even knowing until the film maker cared enough to seek her out. Such an incredibly sad life story. She didnt deserve such a hard life. Rest in peace Ermao, I hope the next life brings the joy and love this one should have.
Heartbreaking documentary. Rip Ermao. They were human in all their choices. It was circumstances that lead to death. The villagers and the way law was enforced in land ownership was disgusting. They really tried to make a life for themselves but how it went down just leaves me disgusted by Chinese government
Speechless ❤❤❤❤
настолько тяжелая история. мне ОЧЕНЬ-ОЧЕНЬ жаль этого человека, настолько трагичная история , у меня нет слов. я буду помнить и знать этого человека, спасибо огромное за фильм. теперь многие будут помнить Li Ermao.
I like the granduncle his creepy chuckle each time made me laugh
This truly was a fantastic documentary following a trans man in China 👏. What I find disturbing 😳 is how life in rural China can be quite crazy with their weird customs like eating their stillborn child WTF!!??? I felt so bad 😢for Erma 🙏 who lived a tough life but his first bf I think truly loved her except of Ermas gambling was to much for him to handle tbh, she ruined their relationship & the second bf was useless.
This person is one of the most beautiful people ive met. My prayers go out to them. Its sadning.
1:13:57 - too sad - WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS SONG?