Woke Jesus

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  • čas přidán 5. 05. 2024
  • Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.
    Get your copy of 'Woke Jesus' today and defend your faith against progressive ideology: lucasmiles.org/bee
    #comedy #bible #woke #jesus #christian #methodist #unitedmethodist
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 7K

  • @drewelliott9062
    @drewelliott9062 Před měsícem +5617

    Only half of Americans realize this is a satire.

    • @sherizaahd
      @sherizaahd Před 29 dny +69

      hah! probably more like 40%

    • @herbiehusker1889
      @herbiehusker1889 Před 29 dny +71

      I bet the Shrekgender don't know.

    • @fyrchmyrddin1937
      @fyrchmyrddin1937 Před 29 dny +40

      I would be tempted to send it to an old friend of my mother's, but she would think it's real and part of her "Social Gospel" church material...

    • @kelvinadcock5767
      @kelvinadcock5767 Před 29 dny +66

      Actually 85% of Hollyweird, 50% of the government and 65% of college students won't understand this.

    • @TheGraffiti600rr
      @TheGraffiti600rr Před 29 dny +5

      But is it.... 😂😂😂

  • @46sn29
    @46sn29 Před měsícem +6352

    This isn't even satire at this point. They genuinely act like this.

    • @allismama
      @allismama Před měsícem +114

      But Jesus didn't act this way....

    • @46sn29
      @46sn29 Před měsícem +326

      @allismama Wasn't referring to Jesus. Was referring to the far left that this video is mocking.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 Před měsícem +69

      They follow a different religion.

    • @cbbees1468
      @cbbees1468 Před měsícem

      ​@@allismamaWay to miss the point that Lefty pedarasts act like this.

    • @VintageCardinal
      @VintageCardinal Před měsícem

      @thedude-kl5zh Oh look, a TROLL account! Jesus was not a socialist dum a33. You're what the ad at the end was referring to: woke FALSE ideologies about Jesus.

  • @alman6581
    @alman6581 Před 21 dnem +441

    The Mail In Ballot was a stroke of genius

    • @MrTrevortxeartxe
      @MrTrevortxeartxe Před 16 dny +7

      I don't get that one.

    • @marysueeasteregg
      @marysueeasteregg Před 16 dny

      @@MrTrevortxeartxe It's based on the [unproven] assumption that mail-in ballots facilitate voter fraud -- that it is easier for ballots to be falsely cast in the name of dead people, if the individuals are not showing up in person. The dead person is still "alive," so to speak.

    • @raquel4171
      @raquel4171 Před 12 dny +3

      @@MrTrevortxeartxe Me neither

    • @anothergenericgamer_
      @anothergenericgamer_ Před 12 dny

      Far right claim of "stealing" election by people using mail in ballets for dead people to sway vote.

    • @jilalcocaine
      @jilalcocaine Před 11 dny

      Republicans said that dead people voted for Biden. Funny story though. More dead voted for Trump than Biden.

  • @boomdoodles_alt
    @boomdoodles_alt Před 10 dny +44

    As a fellow Christian, this isn’t becoming a joke, it’s becoming a reality in society for them to think of Jesus like this..

    • @BH-jj4zm
      @BH-jj4zm Před dnem

      Ding, Ding, Ding. The point of the sketch. Winner.

  • @DRAKKENFIRE22
    @DRAKKENFIRE22 Před měsícem +4072

    To a leftist, this isn’t satire…it’s a documentary!

  • @cmoto1
    @cmoto1 Před 29 dny +3792

    He forgot "Blessed are the Democrats for they will not be prosecuted."

    • @SimpMcSimpy
      @SimpMcSimpy Před 29 dny +73

      good one :)

    • @keepingthefaith9041
      @keepingthefaith9041 Před 29 dny

      Oh Yes, this is so true. Thou shall not prosecute thy Democrats.
      What ever that comes out of their mouth, ( even if it's AOC) it is the truth.

    • @OxyCleanForYourBrain
      @OxyCleanForYourBrain Před 29 dny +77

      You're right. Babylon Bee needs to be working on parts 2 and 3

    • @jenme7926
      @jenme7926 Před 28 dny +38

      Boy ain't that the truth!

    • @terihart5333
      @terihart5333 Před 28 dny +12

      😂

  • @user-bk9wq6sc9b
    @user-bk9wq6sc9b Před 18 dny +232

    How did the actor who played Jesus not laugh at every single line on this video, raw talent

    • @Zaloomination
      @Zaloomination Před 18 dny +24

      Multiple takes

    • @steven5917
      @steven5917 Před 9 dny +8

      ​@Zaloomination he is a very talented and versatile actor, They need to do a Bee movie

  • @DaxAxeOffical
    @DaxAxeOffical Před 20 dny +58

    Jesus calling someone a femboy is INSANE

    • @cathumanga.
      @cathumanga. Před 10 dny +1

      never in my life would i ever hear someone acting as jesus say femboy, yet here i am

    • @ryze9153
      @ryze9153 Před 7 dny +2

      ​@@cathumanga.Never in my life have I seen the words "woke" and "Jesus" put together.

    • @cathumanga.
      @cathumanga. Před 7 dny

      @@ryze9153 indeed my brother

    • @randybuttry4367
      @randybuttry4367 Před 6 dny

      It's blasphemy

  • @valgardener7656
    @valgardener7656 Před měsícem +1758

    "And the man went away sad. For he was very white."

    • @jaysoncheney
      @jaysoncheney Před 29 dny +42

      Lol
      Too funny

    • @commentfreely5443
      @commentfreely5443 Před 29 dny

      Mohammad vs Judas
      1] pedo 2] not pedo
      1] didn't believe jesus died 2] did
      1] stole money 2] stole money
      1] maybe existed 2] existed
      1] no miracles 2] disciples had power
      1] no clue about OT 2] knew OT
      1] covered in semen 2] not covered in semen
      1] rock worshipper 2] not rock worshipper

    • @NhwNews
      @NhwNews Před 29 dny +33

      The best piece. . .🤣

    • @LizThomas-dp7sr
      @LizThomas-dp7sr Před 29 dny +48

      @@NhwNews "Lazarus will live again....through this mail in ballot" Is the line that got me.

    • @stephenthompson3309
      @stephenthompson3309 Před 27 dny +5

      Literally me

  • @jonathanclemens4660
    @jonathanclemens4660 Před 29 dny +1927

    And they said unto him, "Lord, how many times should we be vaccinated? Seven times?" And he answered them "Nay, but rather seventy times seven."

    • @dhrush964
      @dhrush964 Před 29 dny +44

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @Kholte
      @Kholte Před 29 dny +36

      🤣🤣🤣👏👍

    • @donoimdono2702
      @donoimdono2702 Před 29 dny +26

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @johndilday1846
      @johndilday1846 Před 29 dny +29

      Golden!

    • @bloomelo
      @bloomelo Před 29 dny +12

      Why are you guys so against getting vaccinated? I'm not an American, just curious. We're totally cool with it here in Asia.

  • @isaiahpero7837
    @isaiahpero7837 Před 21 dnem +56

    My favorite part was Jesus naming all of the 5,269 “genders” in existence (so far) and the camera kept coming back to him for Part 4 & 5, then part 6, and so on and so forth. Then he said, ” Just keep making them up.” 😂😂

  • @honestannie9492
    @honestannie9492 Před 18 dny +101

    The actor who plays Jesus deserves an ACADEMY AWARD!!
    Also the writers ✍️ of course. I can never get tired of watching this…it’s absolute satire at its best! ❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂

  • @mcgspare1310
    @mcgspare1310 Před měsícem +3221

    You forgot to make him a black woman.

    • @cscates3598
      @cscates3598 Před 29 dny +411

      You mean they forgot to make “them” a black trans woman. 😂

    • @porcian4306
      @porcian4306 Před 29 dny +67

      Nailed it!

    • @user-jx6lf8cy4s
      @user-jx6lf8cy4s Před 29 dny

      @@cscates3598 black trans lesbian in a wheelchair

    • @Clair1868
      @Clair1868 Před 29 dny +91

      Don't forget the hundred and one face piercings, demonic tattoos, and the purple hair!

    • @joecarpino4462
      @joecarpino4462 Před 29 dny +37

      mcgspare1310- a lesbian black women at that!

  • @lanngunn6512
    @lanngunn6512 Před měsícem +3729

    "My Lord, how can I be saved."
    "Be less white " 😂💀

  • @TheProNerdUnofficial
    @TheProNerdUnofficial Před 22 dny +106

    "You are the light of the world. A city being burned down in a mostly peaceful protest cannot be hidden."

  • @Kholte
    @Kholte Před 20 dny +61

    We need a PART 2!!!

  • @BiggMo
    @BiggMo Před 29 dny +1675

    If I had a dollar for every gender today , I’d have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

  • @InHocSignoVinces40
    @InHocSignoVinces40 Před měsícem +2996

    Straight from the queen james bible😏

  • @hectatusbreakfastus6106
    @hectatusbreakfastus6106 Před 21 dnem +95

    Legend has it woke Jesus is still listing off pronouns and genders 2000 years after this was filmed.

    • @JC-dz5ur
      @JC-dz5ur Před 6 dny +1

      What would his pronoun be?

    • @LeReubzRic
      @LeReubzRic Před 4 dny +2

      ​@@JC-dz5ureverything all at once

  • @user-st5cs3fq4y
    @user-st5cs3fq4y Před 18 dny +33

    "Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again-through this mail-in ballot."
    I believe!

    • @McLovin_2007
      @McLovin_2007 Před 18 dny +3

      LOL...........good one.

    • @Karmyogi123
      @Karmyogi123 Před 12 dny

      धर्म क्या हैं?
      पृथ्वी का धर्म है l
      सुरज - सूर्य का चक्कर लगाणाl ओर जीवन को पोषण देना l
      सुर्य का धर्म क्या हैं?
      सुर्य का धर्म पृथ्वी ओर सारे ग्रहो को प्रकाश ऊर्जा से ओतप्रोत करना l
      वहा के जीवन को ऊर्जा देना l ओर हमारे ऋषी मुनी वो महान सायन्सटिस्ट थे l जिंहोने प्रकृती की इस सुंदर नियमो का शोध किया l ओर पृथ्वी को धर्म नाम की एक जीवन जिने की, सुजलाम सुफलाम जीवन शैली दिl मुझे गर्व है की मे
      ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का
      ऐसी महान संस्कृती का एक पालक हुं l मेरे ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का ज्ञान-विज्ञान धरोहर अगले पिढी को देना मेरा परम कर्तव्य है l धर्म - मेरे निसर्गदत्त प्रकृती ने दिये हुवे मेरे कर्तव्य है l
      धर्म - का इस से सुंदर अर्थ ओर क्या हो सकता है l
      मैं एक पुरुष हुं l तो मैं एक सूर्य हुं l मेरे शरीर को तप्त कर, मेहनत कर कुटुंब का जीवन पोशित करना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मैं एक स्त्री हुं l तो मे पृथ्वी हुं l आगले पिढी को जन्म देना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मेरे कुटुंब की जिम्मेदारी निभाना मेरा धर्म है l
      स्कूल कॉलेज से धर्म कर्तव्य की शिक्षा निकाल के हम अधिकार की शिक्षा दे रहे हैं l मे कामगार हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मैं स्त्री हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मे संख्या मे कम हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l हर कोई अधिकार - स्पेशल ट्रीटमेन्ट माग रहा है l लेकीन कोई अपने कर्तव्य की l धर्म की बात नही कर राहा l
      हमें चाहिए धर्मक्रसी
      कर्तव्य का वाहन करणे वाली सोसांयटि
      ना की अपने अधिकार की डीमांड करणे वाली सोसायंटि?
      क्या हम धर्मनिरपेक्ष याने कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष कर्तव्य ना करणे वाले ओर अधिकार के लिये रस्ते पे तोडफोड करणे वाले समाज को चाहते हैं? धर्मनिरपेक्ष देश - कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष देश
      बरबाद हो जाते हैं l
      नष्ट हो जाते है l
      भारत वर्ष का सत्व धर्म - कर्तव्य आधारित जीवन जिने वाले लोग हैं l
      भारत के शत्रू भारत की ताकद जाणते है?
      लेकीन भारत के लोग धर्म की ताकद नही जाणते l
      एक बार धर्म का अर्थ पता चल जाये तो l आता है
      सत्य धर्मl मे सत्य के लिये लढुगा, झूट को एक्सपोज करना, अधर्म असत्य को एक्सपोज करना मेरा दायित्व हो जाता है lयेशू - येवोह ज्यू यहुदी गॉड है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ दुसरे लोगो के गॉड को मार्केटिंग कर के l ख्रिश्चन पंथ क्यो बेच रहा है l उसके पीछे उसका उद्देश आपकी जमीन आपके परिसर की सत्ता हसिल करना है l उसके लिये ये सैतान राक्षस लोग आपको वो सारे सपने दिखते है l जो उनके पास नही है l
      अभी ख्रिश्चन पंथ के पास अपना गॉड नाही l बायबल भी ज्यू यहुदी पवित्र तोराह पुस्तक की चोरी है l तो उसके पास खुद का स्वर्ग भी नहीं है l जो उनके फाद्री पास्टर 5-5 मिनट मे आपको देणे का वादा करते है l
      इस प्रकार क्रिश्चन पंथ के मिशनरी माफिया लोगो ने 107 देश की जमीन कब्जा कर ली है l
      आफ्रिका के भयानक गरीब लोगो की जमीन कब्जा कर वाहा के संसाधन अमेरिकन युरोप देश शोषण करते है l
      जब आफ्रिका मे एड्स / कोवीड जैसे महामारी चाली l इन अमेरिकन युरोप देश ने गरिब लोगो को महांगी दवाईयां की 1 रुपये किंमत काम नाही की l
      ऐसे भयानक समय मे सनातन हिंदू विचार वाले नरेंद्र मोदी ने इन लोगो को सस्ती दवाई या बेचि l
      धर्म मनुष्य को पशु से मानव बनाता है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ मानव को पशु बनता है l इस्लाम पंथ मानव को पशु बनाता है l

  • @ManoloVintage
    @ManoloVintage Před měsícem +754

    Jesus sailed across the lake across from Galilee. As soon as he stepped ashore, he saw a naked man. Jesus immediately asked him, "What are your pronouns?"
    The man replied, "They, Them, and Legion."

  • @gugan_1678
    @gugan_1678 Před 29 dny +764

    Getting called a femboy by Jesus is literally the worst thing imaginable.

    • @LordKlavier
      @LordKlavier Před 28 dny +10

      Bahaha

    • @incran9027
      @incran9027 Před 28 dny +12

      No clue what you mean. Sounds like a compliment to me

    • @lanngunn6512
      @lanngunn6512 Před 28 dny +4

      🤣💀

    • @VroomNDoom2602
      @VroomNDoom2602 Před 28 dny +33

      "Get behind me, Satan" ❌
      "Get behind me, femboy" ✅
      I think you're right.

    • @xaestar.
      @xaestar. Před 27 dny

      @@incran9027ew get help 🤢

  • @netscroller
    @netscroller Před 22 dny +21

    "Oh yes yes yeah Shrek gendered too yeah whatever you want, make them all up.... It's fine"

  • @nifenav
    @nifenav Před 17 dny +9

    The mail in ballot was curve ball. Genius

  • @DanielJakub14
    @DanielJakub14 Před 28 dny +609

    Woke Jesus would have condemned the crippled man as ableist for wanting to walk again.

    • @user-tk1wm5gp8q
      @user-tk1wm5gp8q Před 27 dny +11

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @melschevelle
      @melschevelle Před 27 dny +6

      Yes😇😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @kennethkho7165
      @kennethkho7165 Před 26 dny +12

      why are they like this

    • @clyde19788
      @clyde19788 Před 26 dny +5

      republican jesus would tell him to pay for his own disability and to get loss

    • @HighlanderNorth1
      @HighlanderNorth1 Před 26 dny

      Woke Jesus wouldn't be a f**king white guy either! That's woke Satan.....

  • @NinjaFlibble
    @NinjaFlibble Před měsícem +790

    Innacurate.
    Woke Jesus would still be naming genders today.

  • @TylerHarris-yy7uf
    @TylerHarris-yy7uf Před 19 dny +9

    When he said "hedgehog brony" I clapped, I clapped when I heard it 🤣

  • @user-hl2ek7lz5i
    @user-hl2ek7lz5i Před 21 dnem +33

    Thank you for giving us a few laughs in these dark and scary times. It's good therapy. 😂

    • @jetfrog4574
      @jetfrog4574 Před 6 dny

      May I ask, how are these dark and scary times?

  • @Fallout9520
    @Fallout9520 Před měsícem +1083

    Cancel Your Enemies! ✋

  • @mushy2bc482
    @mushy2bc482 Před 28 dny +336

    I thought this was a Disney remake of a passion of Christ but then I realized Jesus was white.

  • @myvoice2223
    @myvoice2223 Před 7 dny +6

    "In the beginning, God created male and female and gender queer, femboy, transman, transwoman." This is exactly what the alphabet group preaches. Brilliant video.

    • @demodiums7216
      @demodiums7216 Před 2 dny

      well those people exist....so did god not create them?

    • @myvoice2223
      @myvoice2223 Před dnem

      @@demodiums7216 2 genders only

  • @gabriellisboa9002
    @gabriellisboa9002 Před 16 dny +7

    0:40 the "femboy" got me rollin on the floor 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @trevorwhat
    @trevorwhat Před měsícem +1173

    It’d be even funnier if it wasn’t *exactly* what’s now being promulgated.

    • @livenotbylies
      @livenotbylies Před měsícem +46

      As usual, the bee's funny is tinged with the horror of its proximity to truth. Reality has become a black satire of itself and the bee just tells us about it

    • @RachDarastric2
      @RachDarastric2 Před měsícem

      Humans are so proud of themselves because they go all day mocking God without getting struck by a lightning bolt.
      But what they haven't counted on is that God created them in his image to set an example that we should be willing to mock ourselves.

    • @ArbiterDan
      @ArbiterDan Před měsícem +26

      @@livenotbylies You're just a Shrek-gendered pony soldier. Lets be friends for life.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 Před měsícem +11

      Woke Jesus speaks THEIR TRUTH.

    • @simon7107
      @simon7107 Před 29 dny

      However, we can also turn this around. Jesus was a brown Arab and yet conservatives always portray him as white. Jesus said those who give away all their possessions and give to the poor will have the greatest treasures in heaven. Yet Christian Republicans HATE giving part of their tax dollars to the poorest Americans. If Jesus came to the US in person toaday,l many conservatives would want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned socialist.

  • @Zactivist
    @Zactivist Před 29 dny +256

    Woke Jesus: "Do not teach a man to fish, let him loot the Walmart so that he may watch The Fishing Channel on an 85" big screen."

    • @CrumpetsNBiscuits
      @CrumpetsNBiscuits Před 28 dny +3

      lol

    • @user-wf7sl7sw8k
      @user-wf7sl7sw8k Před 28 dny +2

      Woke Jesus is always for free education too. It is right who force capable, smart, gifted people into poverty or educational debt at the expense of technological stagnation.

    • @LalalandLizzy
      @LalalandLizzy Před 28 dny +1

      ☠️☠️☠️

    • @ctypino2849
      @ctypino2849 Před 27 dny +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bigp2930
      @bigp2930 Před 26 dny

      I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard...epic comment, thank you. Oh, yeah, and you're probably going to he*l 😁

  • @demomann9126
    @demomann9126 Před 9 dny +4

    One of the best BB productions.

  • @paridotturtle2752
    @paridotturtle2752 Před 17 dny +5

    “But the man went away sad, for he was very white” 😂😂😂

  • @totalcreativegaming6681
    @totalcreativegaming6681 Před 24 dny +225

    Real Jesus: “I preach love & forgiveness to all”
    Woke Jesus: “I preach hatred of everyone who disagrees with me.”

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 Před 18 dny +6

      "Real" Jesus also said: "But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and SLAUGHTER them before me" ... oh yeah, love and forgiveness to all ^^ Give me a break.

    • @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377
      @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 Před 18 dny +4

      Matthew 13:50 and Mark 16:16 shows you're wrong.

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 Před 18 dny +1

      @@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 the quote i just wrote shows that Matthew13:50 and Mark 16:16 are wrong. Or a lie. Anyway, defending Christianity is defending the enemy of humanity, your best ally, those who corrupt all politicians , the so called "donors" .. those who want you to "lick the dust of their feet", as stated in the Bible.

    • @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377
      @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 Před 18 dny +1

      @@francoisnada7464 Don't worry man.
      I actually agree with what you say.
      I'm an atheist. I was just showing to this believer that he was wrong in thinking that the "master" he believes (aka jesus) preached about love and forgiveness.

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 Před 18 dny

      @@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 My bad ! i just saw that your comment was not for me :))
      Sometime, i wonder if they really read this book ! Have a nice day :)

  • @smallparticlelinda
    @smallparticlelinda Před 27 dny +613

    "The man went away sad, for he was very white"
    Poor guy😂😂😂

    • @ronb6313
      @ronb6313 Před 26 dny +10

      That one made me laugh also. This is the end my friend. Come Lord Jesus, come.

    • @malcolmharing3744
      @malcolmharing3744 Před 24 dny +4

      Totally true today.

    • @a-s-greig
      @a-s-greig Před 24 dny

      Culturally tho...

    • @vickryan
      @vickryan Před 24 dny

      Yeah what a loser he was. Kinda skinny and pale skin. We call them " pale face" or "white people" whichever you're more comfortable with.

  • @thomaspetrucka9173
    @thomaspetrucka9173 Před 5 dny +2

    That pat on the guy's shoulder when he said "femboy". 🤣

  • @majoleeballerina
    @majoleeballerina Před 20 dny +7

    ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE JOB, Babylon Bee 😅🤩!! The truth of where our society has ebbed has become an insane seeming-parody!

  • @unncommonsense
    @unncommonsense Před měsícem +344

    "Be less white." -funny.
    "But the man went away sad for he was very white." -I lost it.

    • @patrickseekins1299
      @patrickseekins1299 Před 28 dny +9

      I lost it when he Said Lazarus would live on with this mail in ballot!

    • @Daniel_walks_with_Tobi
      @Daniel_walks_with_Tobi Před 28 dny

      The irony here is that this was satire on how Jesus said to the wealthy man "stop being wealthy" but the man wouldnt let go of his money. And Jesus said this is why he will not be in heaven, his love for money. Jesus was a communist, but this video implies that Jesus was a materialisitc capitalist who is ok with greed driven society and wealth accumulation.

    • @aboutwhat1930
      @aboutwhat1930 Před 27 dny

      @@Daniel_walks_with_Tobi Not really on either count. He said and heavily implied that the wealthy man loved his money and wouldn't let go of it. That's not a criticism of being industrious or wise with your assets, but of the greed of that wealthy man. He made money the most important thing in his life-- more important than his family, his friends, his society, and certainly more important than God. Jesus also spoke the parable of the talents-- three servants entrusted 5 talents of gold, and 3 talents, and 1 talent. A single talent was a fair amount of wealth-- almost US$400K in 2024. So the first was to manage $2M, the second to manage $1.2M, and the third to manage $400K.
      The man who was entrusted with 1 talent buried it and returned to his master 1 talent. He was wicked/lazy since he didn't actually do anything with that wealth. He didn't start a business, he didn't invest, he didn't even put it in the bank to collect some interest. He was afraid of being industrious, he was afraid of hard work, and he wouldn't even do the minimum. His master took the 1 talent from that man.
      The men who were entrusted with 3 talents and 5 talents used it as an investment and returned their master 6 talents & 10 talents respectively. Both doubled the money they were entrusted with. The master let them continue with their profitable work, giving the man who already had 10 talents of gold an 11th talent.
      A fortune isn't our own. It's merely ours to manage, it's ours to grow: we are to be a good steward of that money for the glory of the Kingdom of God.

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 Před 21 dnem +1

      Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
      Hebrews 11:6
      But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

    • @Carolinablue78JS
      @Carolinablue78JS Před 9 dny

      ​@@Daniel_walks_with_TobiNo

  • @bsavvy5129
    @bsavvy5129 Před 28 dny +526

    “Your brother Lazarus will live on. … Through this mail in ballot.”

    • @MarkfonzY
      @MarkfonzY Před 27 dny +19

      I wish he would have said "these" ballots and handed him a bundle!

    • @mr.objective6936
      @mr.objective6936 Před 27 dny +10

      He should have said “your brother Lazarus will live on, or at least his vote will live on through these mail in ballots”.

    • @tylersoto7465
      @tylersoto7465 Před 26 dny +9

      Lmao 🤣 I died laughing seeing how casual he says that why handing her the papers

    • @blackprince4074
      @blackprince4074 Před 26 dny +8

      Gold nothing but GOLD!

    • @Ann1234
      @Ann1234 Před 26 dny +6

      My favorite!

  • @renegadeyogi7295
    @renegadeyogi7295 Před 10 dny +3

    How. The. Hell. Did you make this without PISSING yourselves?!?!?
    Omg. I wish I could see the outtakes.
    I want to be friends with everyone in that video and at the Babylon Bee. ♥️♥️♥️😂🤣😂

  • @peterforsythe3643
    @peterforsythe3643 Před 8 dny +4

    Brill. These BB folks have got real talent!

  • @AverageTruckOwner1322
    @AverageTruckOwner1322 Před měsícem +216

    Wait one moment, you forgot Jesus telling His disciples blessed are the peacemakers who protest on college campuses.

    • @nydiacanas603
      @nydiacanas603 Před měsícem +9

      Good one 👍

    • @AverageTruckOwner1322
      @AverageTruckOwner1322 Před měsícem +2

      @@nydiacanas603 Thankyou

    • @meciocio
      @meciocio Před měsícem +6

      like how jesus protested against the merchants and the money changers in the cleansing of the temple

    • @ZilogBob
      @ZilogBob Před 29 dny +4

      I thought he said "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

    • @VickiSmith-eg9oo
      @VickiSmith-eg9oo Před 29 dny +9

      And left the campus filled with trash.

  • @whitneysmiltank
    @whitneysmiltank Před měsícem +467

    "will live again... through this mail-in ballot" omfg LOL

  • @user-ny1wt2cc2r
    @user-ny1wt2cc2r Před 6 dny +2

    “Goomba sexual” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @littlellama8405
    @littlellama8405 Před 22 dny +5

    "Equality sticker, very sticky!" - underrated joke. :D :D

  • @Dan_Rodrigues
    @Dan_Rodrigues Před měsícem +632

    Oh! The "legendary Jesus" who lives in the minds of leftists.
    Don't do drugs, kids.

    • @DOWNUNDER.
      @DOWNUNDER. Před měsícem +18

      LMAO
      but
      I am entirely unsure about the blasphemy aspect,
      Will I have to go to a re-education camp
      🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

    • @miask
      @miask Před měsícem +10

      @@DOWNUNDER.I’m afraid so. 😉🤓

    • @Dan_Rodrigues
      @Dan_Rodrigues Před měsícem +18

      @@DOWNUNDER. I hear you. But sometimes you must become the absurd to show the absurd. And the intention of the video is to show how ridiculous the left's claims regarding Jesus are.

    • @twentyrothmans7308
      @twentyrothmans7308 Před měsícem

      I've yet to find a drug to retard me enough to be a leftist.
      The search goes on.

    • @simon7107
      @simon7107 Před 29 dny

      However, if Jesus came to America in person today most conservatives would likely want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned Arab-looking socialist. Jesus said it's easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich person to go to heaven. He said sell all your possessions and give to the poor. And yet conservatives HATE that part of their tax dollars goes to the poorest Americans.

  • @treychow
    @treychow Před 23 dny +863

    You had me at, "He'll live again, with this mail in ballot" ,😂🤣😂

    • @huntermahoney9309
      @huntermahoney9309 Před 21 dnem +7

      😭😭🤣

    • @edwardicus4
      @edwardicus4 Před 20 dny +11

      It took me a minute to catch that😂

    • @blai5e730
      @blai5e730 Před 19 dny +16

      That one cracked me up!

    • @TheSongofSaya
      @TheSongofSaya Před 19 dny +8

      I am not american. What does that joke mean?

    • @blai5e730
      @blai5e730 Před 19 dny +29

      @@TheSongofSaya - neither am I but that's a dig that votes of deceased citizens were allegedly counted in a presidential election.

  • @BirthingPower
    @BirthingPower Před 3 dny +1

    I hope you’re going to release the outtakes for this and the Satan video!!
    I’ve got to see you guys cracking up over making these. It must’ve been hard to be so serious serious.
    Brilliant

  • @svetlanaandrasova6086
    @svetlanaandrasova6086 Před 16 dny +2

    Lol I would like to be a stranger walking by as they were shooting this sketch.

  • @devindaniels1379
    @devindaniels1379 Před měsícem +261

    Legend has it that Jesus is still listing genders to this day.

    • @firstknight117
      @firstknight117 Před 29 dny +3

      I just can't with the Bee. What is worse is that I've heard of a lot (not all) of these genders and I'm pretty sure they must be on a list somewhere...

    • @i.g.l.z.9215
      @i.g.l.z.9215 Před 28 dny

      😂😂😂

    • @FootballFan17243
      @FootballFan17243 Před 26 dny

      ​@@firstknight117 i have also heard of a lot of made up things

    • @Hanako-San100
      @Hanako-San100 Před 25 dny +2

      It's been 2000 years since…. does he ever get tired?

    • @ConservativeGrouch
      @ConservativeGrouch Před 25 dny +1

      @@firstknight117If they are on a list, it can't be on hard copy. The number and type of goofy pronouns changes so quickly and so often, it would be out of date by the time the list comes off the printer.

  • @jayney6176
    @jayney6176 Před 29 dny +245

    Woke Jesus parties with sinners... turning vats of water into kegs of Bud Lite.

  • @UnderstandSoccer
    @UnderstandSoccer Před 17 dny +3

    The Lazurus mail-in ballot got me... 😂

  • @countyline81
    @countyline81 Před 17 dny +4

    United Methodists approve of this message

  • @pug-man6861
    @pug-man6861 Před měsícem +260

    When comedy is our actual reality

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans Před měsícem +13

      When our nighmares start After we wake up in the morning...

    • @Kat-zk6qy
      @Kat-zk6qy Před 29 dny +4

      BB has a nack for doing this. They're more accurate than the Simpsons

    • @Grummel1971
      @Grummel1971 Před 29 dny +2

      Thats what the world feels like to me at last in the last ten years.

    • @FuKuntt
      @FuKuntt Před 24 dny

      Don't blame democrats for your lack of education and failures.

    • @warrentaylor6230
      @warrentaylor6230 Před 23 dny

      Yep, that's tight, Jesus was white, not an Arab.

  • @Gonzalez541
    @Gonzalez541 Před měsícem +485

    Christ Is King

  • @patrickatwater3276
    @patrickatwater3276 Před 10 dny +3

    If someone sues you for your shirt, give him your coat also. And if your neighbor won't give his coat, send soldiers to take his coat on behalf of The People.

  • @amirat.9805
    @amirat.9805 Před 18 dny +3

    “Be less white…” LMAOOOO This is the best movie waiting to happen.

  • @flamebroiledsquirrel
    @flamebroiledsquirrel Před měsícem +423

    Finally, a gospel fit for a megachurch

    • @miask
      @miask Před měsícem +12

      😂

    • @patriciamathews5975
      @patriciamathews5975 Před měsícem +16

      Making it much easier for all those ministers to "minister".

    • @Lysis729
      @Lysis729 Před měsícem +8

      Prophecy says the church becomes corrupted. The stance of the church, "we don't believe in prophecy".

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 Před měsícem +11

      I knew Wokeness was a religion.

    • @karltiedemann7222
      @karltiedemann7222 Před měsícem

      No it wouldn't be eat the rich. It might be something more like steal from the poor

  • @TheIrishny
    @TheIrishny Před 29 dny +281

    The legitimate good acting of this guy is what sells it and makes it so funny.

    • @skidmc
      @skidmc Před 28 dny

      such a W

    • @judithstratton9073
      @judithstratton9073 Před 28 dny +2

      And, sadly, ACCURATE.

    • @VeritasOmniaVincit176
      @VeritasOmniaVincit176 Před 27 dny +5

      He is the best actor on the Babylon Bee channel IMHO. He plays the recurrent character Devil and does great English and Russian accents too.
      The California Couple that moved to Texas are also great.

    • @ameliac7338
      @ameliac7338 Před 26 dny

      Man if I was not this set id be laughing so hard

  • @mrdanielwon
    @mrdanielwon Před 18 dny +2

    😂 the mail-in ballot part got me

  • @lexadoma
    @lexadoma Před 21 dnem +1

    this is way overdue. thank you!

  • @slappy1234567
    @slappy1234567 Před měsícem +704

    Antifa Jesus

    • @popkxw
      @popkxw Před měsícem +68

      "Free Palestine!" Oh wait, that didn't exist back then because jews are much older and they are the original owners of the land.

    • @peterreily1490
      @peterreily1490 Před měsícem +4

      If that’s the case, call me Harrod Pilot.

    • @peterreily1490
      @peterreily1490 Před měsícem

      And please send AK Jesus.
      We shall follow the teachings of Brandon Herrera. Defeating communism using their own tools against them.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 Před měsícem +13

      ANTI First Amendment?

    • @Pheramix
      @Pheramix Před měsícem +3

      no, he didn't act violent

  • @stevenw7623
    @stevenw7623 Před 26 dny +422

    Lazarus casting a ballot was pure genius.

    • @docwally1
      @docwally1 Před 25 dny +5

      It's always been how the democrats win!🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @fitgiddlin21
      @fitgiddlin21 Před 25 dny +2

      That was probably the only funny part of this. The original video GOP Jesus was way funnier and used actual Bible quotes.

    • @rodiusmaximus
      @rodiusmaximus Před 25 dny +1

      Now I get it!

    • @chriswilcox3383
      @chriswilcox3383 Před 24 dny +2

      He will live again.. thru this mail in ballot
      That one was just perfect 😂😂

  • @j.bernard752
    @j.bernard752 Před 19 dny +3

    It makes me sad that I can't even share this hilarious satire w/ members of my church. God help us all.

  • @andrew-im8fj
    @andrew-im8fj Před 15 dny +2

    The funniest 6 minutes i've ever watched. Absolute genius...." mail in ballot Lazarus"....deserves an Emmy !

  • @sue8344
    @sue8344 Před měsícem +166

    Once again , Babylon Bee sums up current culture perfectly .

  • @shadowbatjack
    @shadowbatjack Před 24 dny +116

    "Shrek gendered? If you want, make them all up. It's fine." 🤣🤣

  • @mickey8570
    @mickey8570 Před 20 dny +1

    One of the best bee videos I've seen!

  • @tawamajik6982
    @tawamajik6982 Před 21 dnem +3

    I love how they mock Yeshua and make him look all weak but compared to the description of Yeshua in the Revelations, people will beg for the mountains to fall on them

    • @TroubleMitten
      @TroubleMitten Před 21 dnem +1

      exactly, i feel scared for these guys, we should pray for God to forgive them

    • @tawamajik6982
      @tawamajik6982 Před 21 dnem +2

      @@TroubleMitten I guess scripture says Yahweh will blind most if the world and give them to their desires,people acted normally before the Internet and social media,kinda like it unlocked people's inner demons,that's why I stay vigilant on here,we are not human

  • @PeaceIntheValley
    @PeaceIntheValley Před měsícem +140

    The ballot for Lazarus was already filled out right?

    • @dichotomus3764
      @dichotomus3764 Před měsícem

      And photocopied a few hundred thousand times and delivered to a single municipality at 4 am. But remember every election is super secure (except 2016) if you are a progressive.

    • @transparentglazier
      @transparentglazier Před 29 dny +16

      Numerous times too!

    • @LC-iv8lf
      @LC-iv8lf Před 13 dny

      I didn't notice that!! Haha!! If we can't have election integrity at least we can have the best satire!! 😅

  • @jasonstrull2
    @jasonstrull2 Před 24 dny +96

    “Cancel your enemies” 😅

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 Před 21 dnem

      Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
      Hebrews 11:6
      But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

    • @mr.grantsartexplorations1014
      @mr.grantsartexplorations1014 Před 19 dny +1

      “And curse those who bless you” …so accurate.

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 Před 19 dny +1

      @@mr.grantsartexplorations1014 Matthew 5:44
      But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
      -Jesus Christ

    • @mr.grantsartexplorations1014
  • @harryflashman7501
    @harryflashman7501 Před 22 dny +2

    “Lazarus will live on - through this mail in ballot” 😂😂😂

  • @bast4rdlyreaper
    @bast4rdlyreaper Před 2 dny +1

    I sent this to the "pastor" of the United Methodist Church in my city, she didn't appreciate it.

  • @L337M4573RK
    @L337M4573RK Před 29 dny +189

    If you see this 🏳️‍🌈 in the church...RUN!

    • @cockyhemi-123
      @cockyhemi-123 Před 28 dny +8

      Or shame all who enter.

    • @harrisonsamson
      @harrisonsamson Před 28 dny +10

      My church uses it as a door mat to wipe the dirt off your shoes

    • @taintedmoss
      @taintedmoss Před 28 dny +4

      yikes, isn’t god supposed to accept everybody?

    • @mastermichael0751
      @mastermichael0751 Před 28 dny +12

      God accepts anyone, but does not accept their sin

    • @jakechapple6785
      @jakechapple6785 Před 28 dny +18

      @@taintedmoss nope. You accept God. He doesn’t bow to you, you bow to him.

  • @charlesmaas3984
    @charlesmaas3984 Před měsícem +403

    this is probably what the bible will look like in the next 20 years

    • @user-xv5tz1cl5y
      @user-xv5tz1cl5y Před měsícem +45

      Pretty sure we DON'T have that much time left.

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans Před měsícem

      Sorry, Citizen. The Bible is banned in USA for violation of the antisemitism laws.
      Stop the Hate of Moneychangers ! Protect their tables from peaceful protests.
      Report to your nearest democrat Rededucation Center. For Democracy !

    • @sue8344
      @sue8344 Před měsícem +15

      There’s a video around of a female priest leading the congregation in a gender neutral or queer or something , creed.

    • @NPC-HonoraryRooftopKorean
      @NPC-HonoraryRooftopKorean Před měsícem +10

      @sue8344
      The Sparkle Creed if I ‘member.

    • @philbob99
      @philbob99 Před měsícem

      ​Correct-a-mundo........ @@user-xv5tz1cl5y

  • @RafiBarides
    @RafiBarides Před 10 dny +2

    The mail in ballot lmfao

  • @tymgreentech
    @tymgreentech Před 21 dnem +3

    The mail in ballot tho omg

  • @Sunflare-vq2uy
    @Sunflare-vq2uy Před 25 dny +108

    This makes me think about the churches that put up the gay pride flag.

    • @Nightshade1881
      @Nightshade1881 Před 23 dny +3

      What’s wrong with a church and its community being accepting of all humans?

    • @Jerryboy97
      @Jerryboy97 Před 22 dny +18

      ​@@Nightshade1881 The pride flag... I don't think it means what you think it means.

    • @Nightshade1881
      @Nightshade1881 Před 22 dny

      @@Jerryboy97 it’s literally just a rainbow flag that can mean anything to anyone
      Conservative are the fragile ones getting upset over a damn rainbow 🤣

    • @MichalSzczurowski
      @MichalSzczurowski Před 22 dny +5

      @@Nightshade1881 define human...

    • @Nightshade1881
      @Nightshade1881 Před 22 dny

      @@MichalSzczurowski a fucking human being 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @YZ-sb1yf
    @YZ-sb1yf Před 26 dny +160

    “Put this human rights sticker on your camel”😂😂

  • @rickyracestrickland8927
    @rickyracestrickland8927 Před 15 dny +1

    🤣🤣🤣 I fell out laughing when he said "Weep not, for your brother will live again with this mail in ballot"🤣🤣🤣

  • @dailytheology1689
    @dailytheology1689 Před 12 dny +1

    "Cancel your enemy" John 11. He will live again with this mail-in ballot... Probably the best line in anything they've ever done

  • @mattfromwiisports4910
    @mattfromwiisports4910 Před měsícem +112

    I hate to point this out but he missed about 34 genders.

    • @donoimdono2702
      @donoimdono2702 Před 29 dny +25

      he's still naming them..... they just ran out of battery for the recording

    • @jenme7926
      @jenme7926 Před 28 dny +2

      At least.. 😂

    • @i.g.l.z.9215
      @i.g.l.z.9215 Před 28 dny +1

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @GreenyX1
      @GreenyX1 Před 28 dny +3

      He resurrected to complete the list.

    • @luvsuneja
      @luvsuneja Před 4 dny

      Trump’s “felony” charges are genders?

  • @hayesism
    @hayesism Před 25 dny +456

    The Jesus actor was star material. Superb timing and delivery while being absurdly handsome.
    The Bee's own Gosling.

    • @marissashantez6051
      @marissashantez6051 Před 24 dny +5

      No doubt.

    • @Steve-hm3ri
      @Steve-hm3ri Před 24 dny +16

      The absurdly handsome jesus should be it's own parody considering the evidence pointing towards jebus being a middle eastern man.

    • @hayesism
      @hayesism Před 23 dny

      @@Steve-hm3ri Middle eastern men can be hot.

    • @33333Tarun
      @33333Tarun Před 23 dny +1

      @@Steve-hm3ri He was a Palestinian.... but where's the stand with Palestine pin?

    • @dusoiree
      @dusoiree Před 23 dny +14

      @@33333Tarun Wasn't he a Jew/Judean? Correct me if I'm wrong.

  • @MaestroGrey
    @MaestroGrey Před 16 dny

    Your levels projection on the parts about hate is genuinely impressive.

    • @harryfucker1988
      @harryfucker1988 Před 16 dny

      they 're showing the woke Jesus , this is the Jesus that woke people created and actually believe in

  • @stomper5113
    @stomper5113 Před 20 dny +1

    This is one of the best I’ve seen!

  • @SweetMamaG
    @SweetMamaG Před měsícem +119

    Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot.: John 6:66

    • @lisarodriguez2926
      @lisarodriguez2926 Před 29 dny +7

      If I was drinking at the time, I would of choked! Or spit.
      That was funny and sadly true, at the same time.
      The Bee nailed it, as all the rest🤗

    • @Lastjustice
      @Lastjustice Před 29 dny +3

      And that was the moment I laughed way too hard and clicked like.

  • @saltyarmyislegion4876
    @saltyarmyislegion4876 Před 22 dny +123

    "Lazuras will live again...through this mail in ballot" 😂💀

    • @jonathanrocha2275
      @jonathanrocha2275 Před 2 dny

      To be honest, I don’t get it

    • @ramonmirandaiii5726
      @ramonmirandaiii5726 Před 2 dny

      Who we kidding , Lazuras voted In 2020

    • @a.baciste1733
      @a.baciste1733 Před 12 hodinami

      ​@@jonathanrocha2275Reference to dead people's vote counted in elections, through possible fraud using mail in ballot in their name.

  • @untonyto
    @untonyto Před 20 dny

    I have not laughed so hard in a CZcams video in ages! Spectacular level of satire

  • @worldsgreatestspy5836
    @worldsgreatestspy5836 Před 19 dny

    1:39 Huhuh I see what you did there 😂😂😂

  • @user-yk5ln8lp2v
    @user-yk5ln8lp2v Před 25 dny +340

    "actually I stole it from that village over there. it's called wealth redistribution"
    I freaking lost it at that point

    • @michaelhiatt8802
      @michaelhiatt8802 Před 23 dny +8

      The way the disciple says "Nice" at the end really closes it. This might be the Bee's best work to date.

    • @FuKuntt
      @FuKuntt Před 22 dny

      Like you have enough income to redistribute. Lol. Have you considered community college?

    • @arches_aviation8584
      @arches_aviation8584 Před 22 dny +1

      Hellsing pfp? Based

    • @crazyleaf257
      @crazyleaf257 Před 22 dny

      😂😂😂😂

    • @Hotmom_lover678
      @Hotmom_lover678 Před 21 dnem +1

      Oh my gosh the same That's my favorite

  • @getinthespace7715
    @getinthespace7715 Před 23 dny +210

    "Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot"
    😂🤣😂

  • @maniravsadhur8409
    @maniravsadhur8409 Před 20 dny

    I can't figure out whether the ad by the end is part of the satire or not. Definitely sounds involuntarily funny.

  • @223dmr7
    @223dmr7 Před 18 dny +2

    Mocking Jesus is a very dangerous thing!!!!

  • @churchofpos2279
    @churchofpos2279 Před měsícem +86

    "I identify as an ornate bullding". LOL

    • @starguy2718
      @starguy2718 Před 29 dny +1

      Phil Leotardo has entered the chat.

  • @princefallthatway1970
    @princefallthatway1970 Před 27 dny +305

    "Will live again through this mail in ballet," smoked me 😂

    • @leabreskovac8790
      @leabreskovac8790 Před 26 dny +2

      could you explain it to me please? 😭

    • @keeganmurphy1
      @keeganmurphy1 Před 25 dny

      @@leabreskovac8790because in America they had dead peoples names that ‘voted’ the year sleepy Joe won. That’s why they want mail in ballots with no ID 😂

    • @keeganmurphy1
      @keeganmurphy1 Před 25 dny +8

      @@leabreskovac8790 so he’ll ‘live again’ by voting 😂

    • @JonahMarksMusic
      @JonahMarksMusic Před 25 dny

      💃

    • @hayleyberry3437
      @hayleyberry3437 Před 25 dny

      @@leabreskovac8790 voter fraud

  • @digitalwarriorpatriot1518

    Mail in ballot was the best. 😂😂😂

  • @VeeAmericanEagle
    @VeeAmericanEagle Před 16 dny

    Just subscribed!! ❤❤