16 Personalities Dark Secrets
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2024
- #16personalities #16types #mbti
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This is all very well but I'm rolling my phone back to an old Nokia so I won't be able to use apps anymore. Imagine going back to a week of battery life.
May I ask what is your personality type?
@@vikramjgodbole7535 Nathan is INTP.
I've only got 1 dark secret and I'd love to rip it out of myself and toss it into a super massive black hole
INTJ dark secret - sometimes I like people…
🤣🤣🤣
*Gasp*
As an Infj: I knew it 😊
there's that saying "the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know" and I think that's how most INTPs feel and why they think people who view them as intelligent are mistaken.
they measure it against what a truly intelligent mind would know, whereas most people use ‘intelligent’ in a comparative sense, relative to other humans.
Not all INTPs are smart. Not all INTPs have several college degrees. Some of us are failures in society, unable to get the grades peope expect from us, and we collapse into heaps of self-hate and lazy unproductiveness.
I an Intj agree with your saying very much
INTPs brag about their intelligence in situations where they are made to look stupid, yet consider themselves unintelligent in situations that prove that they are intelligent.
That's sounds like a lot of trouble and constant self doubt.
Another thing about them is that while they're constantly doubting themselves, I think to an even larger degree they're doubting other people. INTPs even darker side is that they see most people as intellectually and morally corrupt and not worth their time. INTPs want to solve problems, and they see most others sub-conscioisly wanting to create problems.
@@YourNickIsTaken it is.
Thats so true… -intp
@aaronerhartic7739 lmao this is so true. Even "pure" to their morals INFP seem "corrupt" to me cause they it feels like they havent thought of things through enough to be such "immovable objects". They dont even care if it makes sense
I have a theory that INFJs and ENTPs like each other as much as they do because ENTPs seem like they don't care, but do, and INFJs seem like they care, but often don't. ENTPs aren't shocked and appalled that INFJs are secret assholes, and INFJs immediately see that ENTPs do care, and just skip over the whole process of sincerity and discovery that makes ENTPs really uncomfortable. So both types get to really be themselves from the first meeting.
I'm an INFJ, and my relationship with ENTPs has been... complicated.
I think it's mostly because I've always meet them in social situations with a lot of other people, but my first impressions of them hasn't been favourable.
I'll freely admit that I didn't really give them a chance, but that's because they were both in "debate Lord mode".
When in social situations I'm always trying to maintain harmony, and while the ENTPs had some interesting ideas, they really ruffled the feathers of the people at the party (and therefore my own), so my first impression of them wasn't really that great.
However, I do agree that we really should get along, at least in theory.
We INFJs just need to find an ENTP that we can trust, and meet them in one-on-one situations where we can show our colder side.
Plus INFJs are very secretive and selective in who they show that colder side to, so it'd need to be an ENTP we really trust. You can't just pull that side out of us by force, even if you see it.
100 percent
Here is the thing. Both types are intuitive dominants, so they can look past all of the fluffy BS that is right in front of them that everyone else can get trapped in. Both has lack of Fi to have moral code and only has very cold Ti-identity to be themselves with, leading to secrets described above and why such a pairing of those two types are extremely compatible.
@@JokerCrowe I think it's a Ni thing. I find that Ni users (no offence!) can be a bit stubborn on their initial feelings/intuition on something/someone, and that kind of taints their view on something/someone. They aren't receptive to changing their opinion on something, unless it hits them right in the face. It's something I've noticed about my sister who's an ENFJ. It's also why I found Pride and Prejudice to be frustrating. Both Elizabeth and Darcy were fixated on their initial assessment on the other and refused to see more to the other until the other did something that completely contradicted their initial assessment. I call it the "tunnel-vision" lol, very good when synthesising info and being many steps ahead, but fumbles when it comes to seeing possibilities in things (people are capable of turning in different directions, its indefinite) and being fluid/adapt to the situation.
this is true without a doubt. my infj best friend inspires me to be worse and worse every day!!!
I think INFPs are constantly toeing the line between wanting to see the best in everything vs acknowledging the futility of existence and the disappointments of the world. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Over time, I think we learn to approach life with a more pragmatic optimism (or at least realism). We learn to hide our melancholy better, to cope with things and even laugh about it... though a bit of darkness is ever present.
Thank you for going beyond surface-level stereotypes, as always. How do you know so much about people? Also, I like how ENTP's "dark" secret is that they actually *care* (about some things). Wow, can't have people finding out about that.
I think it's quite important for us INFPs to be realistic in order to really cope with the world in general. As vocal as I am about certain things, I know that not everything works out in all the right ways, which makes me a little sad. In fact, I am often quite surprised that nobody discovers my emanating melancholy.
ENTPs can go to great lengths for the people they care for.
@@cellfractionation Agreed, it doesn't help to be too caught up in feelings or daydreams about what could be. Sometimes I'd rather spare others from my innermost feelings. I also think we can learn to be realistic without sacrificing all of our ideals... a balance.
@@actionchaplain1 Definitely. The nature of their care isn't always immediately apparent from the surface, but it's quite special to be on the receiving end.
@@jessiz- that would be IDEAL, but I am still learning how to get there without feeling not understood and lonely. With all that said, yes, you are very much right and I agree.
Time stamps:
ESTP - 0:26
ISTP - 1:22
INFJ - 2:24
ENFJ - 3:07
ISTJ - 3:59
ESTJ - 4:57
ESFJ - 5:37
ISFJ - 6:27
ENTP - 7:44
INTP - 8:36
ENTJ - 9:41
INTJ - 10:27
ISFP - 11:10
ESFP - 12:01
ENFP - 12:55
INFP - 13:45
Thank you✨
You’re the best!
Thank you sooooooooo much... 💚
Thank you:)
Thank you so much for doing this
Hmm this is my point of view as an INTP:
I don't doubt my ability to fully understand things, sure, we all have moments where we feel dumb but I do think I'm quicker at understanding (in a logical way) than most people.
However, I often notice how other people are far better than me in other abilities such as wit, empathy, consistancy, harmony, physical activities, creativity, etc.
This can make me feel insecure of my own abilities and sometimes I can think that my intelligence is my only good trait. Which doesn't sound bad but it can feel awful when you realize that you suck at everything else.
I would like to be more balanced and not just good at analyzing stuff in my head. I feel like INTPs are naturally one of the least balanced types and we have to try hard to develop our other weaker skills
Here I am having serious doubts about being an INTP but also recognising that MBTI is not an exact science and you can't fit people into 16 boxes. I'm slower than the average person in processing mathematical equations but can draw a perfect circle and mirror write. All of my skills are completely useless in the commercial world.
@Lea - Can completely understand this as an INTP (ofcourse I am eternally doubtful about it). Often, I feel horrible about not having a single useful skill that can really help me navigate smoothly through the world.
Tell me about it, I cannot even live as a person, I'm literally a burrito at this point... if only thinking was considered a job, but then you need a coherent narrative to deliver the idea....
@@ariusanimus6985 This is exactly where big sister or brother wants you, frozen and helpless. Fight the nothing. 💃🏽
@@louisejoel fight the nothing, indeed
INTJ - holding back is accurate. A darker “secret” for me would be worrying that I can’t handle my environment, or that I’m not fit for survival in it. That Se bugbear. The Machiavellian ability is a reaction to that, really - needing to see all the exits to compensate, even if they’re not taken.
The INFP was spot-on for me. Although, with a slight offset: it's not really my "secret side", because I am like that right now. I was a typical INFP ("cute and cuddly") in my childhood, but after encountering the harsh Reality as it is, I am indeed pretty moody and hopeless. And quite often pretty cynical as well.
The fact that I'm still pretty idealistic doesn't help either. I often dream of perfect worlds, of perfect lives for me and people that I like and respect, but pretty soon coming back to the cold and dark Reality, which in turn makes me even more sad and hopeless.
That's why I see ISTP as the perfect type: they don't dream of better worlds, instead they focus on "right here right now", embracing the harsh Reality as it is, with all its unforgiveness and unfairness. They are perfect for this world. I wish I was an ISTP myself...
I mistyped as an ISTP for well over a year, my late teens and early twenties weren't always easy and I began trying to function as something else without realizing. On a surface level some ISTP traits seem to fit with me but something felt off all the time. I've now typed as INFP on 4 different sites lately by forcing myself to be honest with my answers, because you know, they say "you don't have to think about the answers, you have to leave the first answer that came to your mind because it's genuine" but this way we just answer what our parents would like us to, or what seems to be the paradigma we should strive to adhere to, it's really asking us to mistype, we need space and time to be true to ourselves even doing a stupid test on the internet. Everything makes sense now as INFP, but sometimes I feel like I'd have preferred to fit more with the typical ISTP stereotype. I'm with you on this one.
Immediately after I read it, I was to write that I was unknowingly trying to become an istp for a long time. In fact, I'm still fighting to be myself, because although it's hard to live in this world as an infp, that's what I am. And moody, hopeless and melancholic is exacly what i become when my dreams ends and i come to the cold real world again, i mean, i'm like u guys
(i just wanted to add that i'm bad in english so don't mind it please :c)
My dad's an ISTP (I'm an INFP) and he's so good when it comes to providing clarity to my brain through his insightful yet straightforward advice and solutions. He doesn't understand the internal mechanisms of my brain, calls me the biggest mystery of mankind lol but he's surprisingly perceptive. He also really helps me with kinaesthetic things, and technology/engineering stuff since I'm completely hopeless at that 😅
I’m ENFJ and I wish I was ISTP as well. I love getting their opinion on things and I find them very easy to deal with.
It's pretty curious that aspect actually. We are supposed to have distinct concious levels I imagine, and in the case of an INFP, they would be as it follows:
INFP-ego
ESTJ-subconcious
ENFJ-unconcious
ISTP-Super ego (also Demon)
This concepts are related to our functions and their use starting with the Te grip. Depending on our level of stress, we Will start using our functions in ways similar to these personalities until we reach our max with a destructive ISTP persona. This mostly happens when we feel hopeless and extremely stressed.
I myself became some kind of ISTP due to a severe crisis during the pandemic
Regarding INTJ having a machiavellian bent: without knowing my type, my friend once told me “you would be evil if you didn’t have such strong morals.” I’m way too sensitive/empathic and too much of a social coward to go supervillain, but that doesn’t mean that I’m unaware of how certain strings might be pulled.
Edit: I have also told my friends and family to never vote for me if I run for office.
Spot on
I feel the same.I feel I'm way too sensitive to manipulate people, but the empathy I have is definitely something I've put a lot of effort into. Manipulation might've come naturally to me otherwise.
If, by putting a light finger on the scales of the decisions of others, a more beneficent outcome can be obtained with much less angst and effort from all concerned, .. and it's in a morally correct direction... why not?? Much better than heavy-handed pressure, strong-arming compliance, or post-disaster gloating..
@@MNkno I agree. Also, I think this is in part just due to how an INTJ’s brain is wired 🤷🏻♀️. I tend to unconsciously maneuver or “massage” events or social interactions toward a more pleasant/desirous outcome. I used to think I’m an INFJ because I’m something of a chameleon, but Fe is definitely not my auxiliary function, lol.
I think we would be great in office. I can often see how people are going to or are manipulating situations for their own benefit. If I had a little power maybe I could outmaneuver them and stop some of it 🤔
I think you nailed it with INTJ, at least for me. Sometimes the coldness of the thoughts in my head genuinely concern me and it happens so easily. If I didn't have the morals that I do, I would be a damn menace.
i feel quite comforted to know so many INTJs similarly seemed to have worked out early, why we should restrain ourselves from fully using our abilities for selfish purposes. it makes me feel like suppose there’s a conflict, i should always be able to reason with an INTJ on the other side.
Hahahahaha yesterday my husband (an INTJ) made a hilarious comment that he would be a terrible deity because he would be too vindictive to people. Your comment reminded me of that hahahahahahaha I love you INTJs. Y'all are so funny and just fascinating people, but I (INFP) have your number. You are just really misunderstood in general. You guys actually feel very deeply and are extremely loyal to the people you choose. Since I'm married to an INTJ, I see his deep passionate heart and see how deeply he feels about me. He tries to help me optimize and be more efficient because he loves and cares about me so much. If he didn't, he just wouldn't bother with me at all. I think of it that y'all are sort of INFPs on the inside. We show our love and passion to the world, where you guard it and only show it to those who you fully trust and are "worthy" to see it.
@@bunny_0288 I'm an INTJ with a INFP pal and I have to say how grateful we are when someone does understand....but it's still true that most would be shocked by how much self-restraint we practice...but then we do love control, esp self-control growth opportunities....
@@suburbohemian Oh y'all definitely show a lot of restraint. My husband has way more patience than I do. He likes to play the long game lol. He says it's more fun that way hahaha
@G B same here
ISFP: his description was more focused on anger, which is true, for me at least, but the isolation hits harder for me. I hate feeling like I'm pushing myself on to other people, especially if I don't really know they want me around.
I'm an INFJ, and I mentioned in the comments of the "How INFJs defy their stereotype" video that I can feel like I don't _have_ feelings some times. And it seemed like a bunch of people agreed with that sentiment.
My theory is that our Fe is only really "activated" when it's stimulated by other people's feelings. So when we're by ourselves, or concentrating on Ni, we can put our Fe "away" or turn on "rest mode" for it. This also means that our Own feelings are somewhat distant to us, and only really show up when they aren't being drowned out by everyone else's.
I think another "dark secret" is that INFJs can be "Machiavellian" in a way, similar to INTJs.
Since Ni lends itself well to understanding where the future might be heading, I think both INTJs and INFJs can't help but to try to affect what's going to happen.
I think that "Machiavellian" side is mostly used for good in both INTJ and INFJ cases, but I also recognize the temptation of wanting to push the dominoes to see if they fall in the right way, just to see if our "vision" was correct. INFJs can be very calculating in this way too (imo).
Edit: basic grammar
Agreed, I usually only use Ti and Ni mostly ,chronologically. The only time I would use Fe is when I would see someone distressed, if not I would put away my Fe and not mind people for a bit
agreed.
even back in my college days when i wasn't really into personality type let alone understanding the cognitive function, several ppl had asked me if i was actually an infj considering how 'cold' i can be towards certain people/ situation. it's more like... without people around me i turn towards my Ni and Ti more that sometimes can result into "the loop".
but of course, nowadays i don't let myself be alone too much or else i will never get out of that damn loop.
@@wienzard93
Yeah the use of Ni and Ti together is really a recipe for a cold and detatched connection to everything.
I think we can be pretty similar to ISTPs in that sense with their dom Ti and 3rd Ni.
In fact, when not around people, I think INFJs can be as Machiavellian as INTJs and as Nihilistic as ISTPs.
@SECRETS
I sometimes have to say my thoughts out loud to get a better grasp of them. At least when it comes to how I Feel about things. X)
I have a question for an INFJ. My best friend is an INFJ (I'm an INFP and my husband is an INTJ) My husband and I have both noticed that she will complain about a situation in her life, but she never takes any advice. I love her to death, but sometimes it drives us crazy because we can clearly see that if she occasionally took some advice her life would greatly improve, but it's as if she HAS to learn the hard way ALWAYS. So often she finally decides to try something that one of us suggested to her YEARS earlier lol. I was just wondering if this is a typical INFJ thing or is it just a her thing? I love her to death, this is just something that is baffling to me hahahaha
INFP married to an ENFJ. In my case, he's pretty brutally honest with me but I think it's because he cares and expects great things of me 🤷♀️🤣
He's still quite tactful but there is definitely more expectation of the people he loves and cares about. I take it as a compliment.
Yeah I've noticed this with my enfj friend. She's always rolling her eyes or being sharp with her speech within our social group. But I also know when she's conversing with people she's not comfortable with, she comes out with this soft approach, and she's 'not clever enough' attitude to be in any conflict. She will say whatever it is to keep things smooth, without worrying about the truth.
@@itsmeraz3008 That's kind of two-faced. But I've seen that too.
Can't speak for all enfj. but in my case. I'd be brutally honest only in 2 circumstances. 1. to help people out(if the truth will bring them great development) 2. to someone I don't agree with. I'd be brutally honest if I do not agree with someone BUT only in some situations, like it's in organizations where we need to converse and try to find best solutions for things or when we have to decide something for that includes the risk for others. I'd went all full snap honestly.
@@aprilhelm518oh , speaking as an enfj , that IS TWO FACED , the kind of fake I am not ashamed to admit, cause my question is why feel the need to Express my true thoughts about a random passerby to them or act upon it , that is as long as they don't insult a value , disrespect a rule I deem vital or hurt a helpless defenseless creature, other then that I will try my utmost to treat any random stranger or casual acquaintance with respect and kindness regardless of what I truly think of them , why , cause that will guarentee me some peace and smooth interactions , just what I need , but if I consider you a friend or family then I will make it my life mission to make you the best version of you , or at least to fight and sass you today rather then divorce you later 🤷♀️
Entj here - another dark secret is how deeply we care for our people/pets and the lengths we’d go to for them. Relationships are a critical, yet difficult, world to us. I wonder if we prefer to be seen as strong and action oriented because then it’s easier to protect what we care for
That's very interesting! My MIL is ENTJ and I really had to get used to her way of showing care. But I connected to her on the intellectual level and we kind of took it slowly from there and now I totally see that she cares a lot, but in a weirdly forceful "I know the right path and we wount dally here" - way xD (For context: I'm ENTP and my SO is ISFJ)
I guess your theory is right. I am an ENTP who is literally surrounded by feelers. I often have the impression that I have to be the "sane" one in order to keep my loved once safe and calm.
A good example of that raymond red reddington from blacklist
Why is it a secret if you told me about it
@@tyleringram7883 Anonymity?
INFP-accurate. Also, we have very dark humor and morbid side we rarely show to anyone.
INFPs' sense of humor is highly underrated!
@@rehammohammed846 haha, true, thanks!
Yeah my humor is uuuh… LOL
@@rehammohammed846 I don't even know what my humor is lol
Eh I do but then people just think I’m cynical so it’s all a balance
The thing about ISTPs being unattached and responding with "It is what it is" is so accurate for me. Back then looking at how others behave I wondered if I should feel more or put more effort into the things I should be attached to but I've come to accept that my level or threshold for that sort of thing is just different and that's okay. As long as I don't make it obvious enough to hinder my daily life, that is.
Exactly my experience as well, you learn with time how the "normal amount" of stuff is, so you don't always end up seeming like some sort of sociopath 👍😅
Though sometimes I wonder if I could clinically qualify as a sociopath. I'm pretty sure I can sit by and watch the world burn, and shrug... that is, after I've tried to put out the fire a few times. I definitely have a threshold for caring.
Aphantasia or the lack of visual thinking was what I always figured was the cause of this lack of empathy for humanity. I wonder if any other ISTPs have limited or no minds eye?
ISTP woman here. I am quite empathetic, don't know if gender/upbringing has something to do with that though.
But if some emotions are being too much of burden, I can use logic to get out of that emotion.
Nihilism is at the back of my mind. I do feel care about some important things, but I know that's just I 'feel', actually nothing has any special meaning. It is what it is, really.
This is why i can't be in a relationship because i don't know what to feel. Like is the think i'm feeling comes from me or someone projected their feelings onto me, that's why i'm feeling this??
I love the fact that he always mentions the analytical-logical side of the INFJs, not just the "sensitive" side... Which I think is too much stereotype... Great video!
INFJ.
I totally agree on that! I used to describe my personality as too irrational and sensitive whenever I was surrounded by my friends, although I wasn't really inserted in infjs. One could ask why I did such a studpid thing, but I think it's because my strong Fe that wants to put the spotlight on other people. It even affects a such banal thing as how I discuss MBTI with the person I'm with. I used to glorify, and find traits that made their personalities (INFP and ENFJ) compatible whenever I spoke about MBTI with them, just so they could feel glad that they had found each other. They where however not so nice to me, and it was not until I doorslamed after great lenghts of time that I suddenly landed on who I was as and what the infj really is capable of. When infjs put the radar on other people, it's often at the expense of their own introspect.
@@e--vlin4974 absolutely. Honestly, sometimes it feels kind of unfair that we as INFJs anylize people and change ourselves to make another person the most comfortable by default, but rarely do people do it for us in return. Yet we crave connection anyway. I love my personality but sometimes I wish I could be just as strong emotionally as when I am with people when I'm just by myself. It's like I *need* to talk to someone about my feelings to filter them out and let go of them. Like I can be strong for someone, but not just for myself alone
This was accurate. ENFP’s like myself are highly misunderstood and taken only at face value. Unfortunately there’s a huge ‘dark side’ we have that can be dangerous (mentally, emotionally, socially, hopefully not physically) if we fall down that rabbit hole.
"Rabbit hole" is really the key phrase here. I think this is something that the two ENPs may have in common - if we let ourselves tumble too far down an "existential/evilness of man/trying to measure eternity/how many planets are there _really_ in our solar system" rabbit hole, we can easily become terrified, depressed, hopeless or bewildered. There are one or two topics that I strictly do not look up, no matter how viscously the curiosity bug bites, because I know that staring too long into that particular void will end badly for me.
Yea I find myself becoming sadistic at times but I am a very empathetic person
ENFP here, the dark side is a very very real thing for us, it honestly feels good that others are aware
I've always felt like I had the potential to have very low moods. In the absence of hope and optimism, I can come very cynical and pessimistic and can feel like what's the point of anything.
Like what? What's so dangerous about ENFPs?
I’m an isfp and the isolation and anger is true (at least for me). I literally take walks throughout each day to be alone, especially when I’m stressed or conflicted with what’s going on.
ESTP - 0:27
ISTP - 1:22
INFJ - 2:24
ENFJ - 3:07
ISTJ - 3:54
ESTJ - 4:58
ESFJ - 5:36
ISFJ - 6:28
ENTP - 7:45
INTP - 8:37
ENTJ - 9:42
INTJ - 10:24
ISFP - 11:10
ESFP - 12:02
ENFP - 12:55
INFP - 13:45
INTJ, true. However, i do think that a lot of it boils down to nihilism and disillusionment. The true secret is that the reason we don't care about other people's opinions is that we have given up. We are also unforgivingly brutal to ourselves regarding our own shortcomings, and yet often too prideful to ask for help. We hate having to depend on someone or not being in control.
At least that's my two cents on it...
PS: if some odd being appeared and offered us three wishes, but warned us that accepting the offer would cause billions of casualties, I guess our innate reaction would not be shock, but the urge to ask why and if we could influence it in any way that we'd and the few we actually care about are safe...
Why is this me omg 💀
INTJ real secret is we love people and would go a long way for them. We're not malevolent type villains, we're more like the kind of villains where you find out at the end that their motives were better than the protagonists.
@@beeticket INTJ 🖐 I relate to this.
you know what? as an INTJ, it is really very true. Even I would be sometimes taken aback by how cold my thoughts are. I had to frequently step back and see my plan in other's POV so that I could check if my plans would hurt anyone's feelings. But that doesn't mean that I see myself as the big bad guy playing a game of chess with other people, I also see myself as another chess piece and see thr problem from a third POV. No selfish errors in my plans! That's one of the basic rules in my book.
That's the part other's miss. *Everyone* is a chess piece, including me. If being a pawn early wins me the game later, why wouldn't I be a pawn instead of trying to be a knight, for example? Just logicical to me. Lol
But yeah, it scares me how easy it can be to manipulate people. Ofc any other type can, and will, manipulate people. It just seems easier for some of us.
I do not like this. -INTJ
@@jeremyjackson7429 well sometimes I like to ponder on how society would be if everyone had the same mindset like me. I had stumbled upon one reddit post like this, and since then, I tried thinking that if everyone has the same morals like me. This could sound very much in a dictatorship territory, but I think the world would have been better this way... Everyone would keep their religious beliefs to themselves and think logically, everyone would think twice before making any consequences, everyone would try to be productive..., etc.
Sounds cold, but it would be efficient.
@@rubyred186 I would love to see a movie based on this, an entire planet with only INTJs.
@@n.j.1894 I would love to see that too!
as an ISTP, I feel so called out... my most used and go-to phrase in any situation is literally "it is what it is"
I know right! As an ISTP my most common phrase is c'est la vie ( that's just life. )
I abuse “c’est la vie” too, it neatly summarizes my feelings on most subjects!
"The intp's secret is that they constantly doubt themselves"
*_That was a secret?_*
I dunno. I thought it was one of their strengths.
Intp with “im not smart, you’re dumb” is the best.
Dark Secret: relief when watching these videos knowing im not the only person trying to understand humans
You nailed INFP for sure. Especially these days. I'm actually very very good at appearing "normal" even pleasant really. But I cry at least 3 times a week. Especially in this world. My husband is the only person who sees that side.
I'm an infp and i want to ask u
How are you able to show ur feelings how u get that blindlingly trust of others
.
I'm an INFP as well, but that really didn't resonate with me. I truly am a happy bubbly person 95% of the time, and when I'm not it's usually hormonal or if something really bad has happened. But even when horrible things happen, I try to find the bright side or remind myself that it's all a part of life. I know feeling disillusioned is common for other INFPs, but I almost never feel this way... Maybe a few times a year. I don't count crying from a sad book/movie because that's different. I mean crying about things in my own life. I really don't know why I seem to be different. Maybe it's that I'm a Christian, so it gives me a more eternal perspective on life? I'm not sure. That's the only theory I have for why I seem different from the typical INFP.
@@bunny_0288 I think there are those types of INFPs too totally! Depends on your circumstances I suppose and the life you lead. Perhaps you're more of a Luna Lovegood type of INFP. Those are the best kind! I flutter in and out of that as well. I'm either totally enamored and charged by everything or I feel the sadness of the entire world. Either way, I normally appear probably exactly the same to everyone else except my immediate family
@@yosefmohamed1591 I don't really trust most people. That's why I'm very solitary. But I have my select person with whom I put ALL my trust in. While everyone else gets mostly suspicion 🤷♀️🤣
This ISFP isn’t a bit afraid to spend time alone. I can disappear for two months and then go back to friends and be puzzled what they’re complaining about. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Right now it’s been around two months, but I told people that I was going to be incognito for a while, so that’s an improvement. Seems fair.
ISTP being kinda detached and going with the shrug and "it is, what it is" is oh so familiar! 😅
ESTJ--"Soft underbelly": So true. My mom is an ESTJ and honestly really sweet.
As an ISFJ, it was so spot on! When someone says I am not capable enough, I slap them back by giving them a performance that exceeded their expectation.
There's a general trend in many of these I'd like to highlight.
Many of the things you mention seem to be the opposite of a types greatest strength.
Actually that does make perfect sense. These may to be the drivers of that strength. The only way to improve a "skill" is to be aware where one falls short. These "secret" (or often not so secret) thoughts (or fears) accomplish that awareness.
Wow that made way more sense than I was ready for …
I'm an ISTP (admittedly) and also a big follower of Stoicism. So I sometimes wonder what that really says about me.
VERY accurate! I am very rational and stoic, which makes me seem cold. But I do care. 😢 Sincerly, an ENTP with a heart.
ENTP: we worry we won’t get our life together, that we aren’t on the best path, that perhaps we’re being lazy(bc we know how to be lazy especially compared with the volume of ideas & project lists we have), etc. we worry we aren’t being smart enough about our own choices & we privately question the accuracy & wisdom of those who give advice/input. We question everything so much it becomes possible for us to feel stuck in it & not actually do anything or live up to our own ideas.
While reading this, it makes more and more sense why ENTPs go so well with INTJs. If you were being genuine here then I can assure you that that's exactly what an INTJ can offer if they like you enough.
I agree on worrying if we are not on the best path....
@@end4567 how do you know if someone is an intj, if you come across one... The easiest way... Cause I don't have much time, as an ENTP😁.
Well said. I can't even argue with that xD, just too relateable
Yes you worded it perfectly. In general I'm doing fine in life, but lately I am more and more realizing that the incredibly cool phantasy I have for my future might never materialize. I have these (pretty ambitious) ideas for what I want to do and have in my life, but most of the time I forget that all those plans will require some hard work. And maybe I'll never accomplish any of them and I will be stuck in the most boring life ever. And that is something that really freaks me out.
But on the other hand: whenever I think this, it's a pretty good motivation to actually go DO something. Which is what I'm gonna do right now (note to self: go work on that stupid assignment, now!).
And yea, I did just give myself a peptalk😂
I'd say, the ENFJ part is pretty accurate. As an ENFJ, I just think it's better to not mention the truth in a conversation. I won't lie, won't tell the truth either. For me, the people who can handle the truth deserve it.
Also, over speaking your truth sometimes means you have to talk even more because now you have to justify things to make it sound more enlightening or "less cruel" which is a waste of time if you're talking to someone who you don't like. I still be friends with people I don't like, donno about other enfjs
Yep, exactly, we are pretty good at pretanding we like someone even tho we don't. Good or bad this is the truth
@@anasofiaene936 Soo truee
As a gay male INFP, traversing through relationships and trying to find a partner is such a difficult thing.
So I prefer to hide behind my perfectly curated bubble around all my tastes than search for an ideal partner. It's so strange this feeling of longing but to also be afraid to sabotage a possible great relationship.
INTJ: Machiavellian...............yeah i can see my self become like this if i lose hope for humanity. so please humanity! don't fail me!
I think I'm about to become like that, im one disappointment away from that 😅😐
I'm an INFP, depressed and conscious about my dark side. Beung recognised as this somewhat naive childish innocent character that's always happy and always believes that everything is good, that image is the exact reason why so many of us won't open up.
We just care about the details, we care about morality and we care about fighting the real battles. I'm not a little naive happy pacifist, I just don't see any point in most conflicts. I do want to go out and talk to people, but all they talk about is boring. They take pointless things very seriously and neglect and forget what is truly important. They think they'll live forever, they make great plans and great talk and actually believe they could keep all their money and pride but the world will forget about them for they leave nothing behind.
The biggest secret of an ISTJ is that, despite popular opinions that we are emotionless robots, are actually quite emotional and sentimental (not that we’d like to let anyone know that). We have feelings, it’s just we find it hard to show it and people never expect us to either. So true that no one offers to help nor are we able to ask - so we need the other types within a team to add balance.
I have seen ISTJ in love. One of the most affectionate, demonstrative types I know, and yes, sentimental to the extreme (but then there would be a strong Si influence there). I think you just have to worm your way into their heart first. 💙
Istjs have the lowest level of humanity
The process of understanding the cognitive functions is truly fascinating. But, realizing that people use personality types to further divide and equate their value to historical figures, is toxic. One becomes quickly aware that the primary focus for most people is an ego boost, rather than: what can I learn from this? Can this help me to truly understand people and the world around me?
It sure can,since you pointed that many people use personality types as an ego boost it could be a good starting point to get some insights into the human nature as you observe more or less the same kind of behaviour repeated across many different spheres,that is ofc if you dare to 😉
@@superioropinion7116 As long as one is willing to stay open to interpretations, and embrace differences as part of a learning curve, everything is welcomed. The moment one switches to mode of identifying one's value with the one of other people, is the moment one should stop to ask oneself: why do I need to equate who I am to who someone else is/was? Not many people can do this. We need to practice more.
ISTP, I don't see ours as particularly dark nor secret. It's adaptive. perhaps not for relationship health, but for life in general.
Hopeful nihilism is the first thing I see when I look at an ISTP. Not really a secret. Having Fe inf is tough.
Good point.
INFJ and I agree.
…for relationship health too. This pragmatic realism vs emotionality is very helpful when dealing with and understanding people different (and even the same) than us (ISTP).
Frfr, not in relationships health 😂. But it helps with life. If you just remove the... expectations and moral values yk, Life gets way more enjoyable for me tbh
INFJ hit home way too much,, there comes a time where almost all relationships I had felt like it wasn't genuine because I was so eager on understanding them-- not personally,, but more on analyzing them and how humans work generally,,
Scary
Something all INXX types have in common: calling people "humans".
X)
@@JokerCrowe whoops,, i didnt mean to
@@JokerCrowe I do it when I'm not around someone that will get offended - INTP
"Humans, smh"
INTP:
Don't think I nor other INTP really make a secret out of us doubting our ability. People just continue to be surprised at how rigid that rule is for us, never to feel save in our opinion.
To say that I think others are Idiots for thinking differently of me is not quite hitting the point for me. Well, not always.
There's a reason I keep that belief whatever others may say. That reason is that it is quite essential to remain as correct as I want to be. Because I've at time been too certain in my "Intelligence", and it almost always eventually went wrong, with me just being too full of myself to correct wrong assumptions.
It's also socially unacceptable. People already have a hard time accepting you if you're often correct. If openly adopt that view most people will hate you, and most of the ones that don't are the kind of people you really should stay away from.
Anyways, getting back to when others say they're certain in our Intelligence. Well, often they are basing that on accurate data. It's just that for a few reasons, including the ones above, we cannot adopt the same belief, otherwise it would destroy that very thing.
Another point I'd like to make is that, while we may doubt our own "Intelligence", that does not mean that we think others are better in that regard. We usually just think we're the one-eyed among the blind.
I am confident in my ability unlike what the narrator says
One-eyed among the blind sounds about right, especially in the context of current events. I think our best abilities are processing and accepting new information.
@@strxkereye Many of us have one ability we are confident in. Most of us want to be good at everything
🏋 i just wanted to comment but got nothing in my brain
I see many possibilities and many steps in advance. Thus, I see how people can navigate away from these stumbles ahead of time. But ... people would not believe and carry on. Well, sometimes ya gotta let them go with their own decisions and fuck up before they learn to listen to you, if they ever learn, at all. My defense is to detach; to relinquish attempts at control, and it's been hard.
I find the ENTP synopsis to be fairly correct in describing me.
The INFP one hits home. I don't like to lie, but when it comes to feeling like the worst but making it look like I'm fine I can say I'm an expert on that regard.
People might be better not knowing though.
INFP is spot on, definitely. I used to be a very stereotyped INFP as a kid, but people ended up breaking me beyond repair. Bullying, rejection, disappointments, a failed love life, crushing loads of stress from college, toxic friendships, etc. For a while I didn't even knew who I was anymore, I was pretty much just existing until I got typed as INFP and realizing how much of it was right about me, I got to understand myself a lot better. But still, the damage is there, and though I might never see that old childhood innocence I used to have again, I'm just more than glad to be able to guide people with their own struggles (even if I have a ton of struggles myself)
Intj is machiavellian? As one I was sort of surprised by that. I would say our darkest secret is how much we are moved by our emotions and how much we protect them. So we start life like an old hardened person, pretending we don't have Fi, and end like kid indulging that Fi. But are we machiavellian? I donno,.... I definitely poke around in people's heads silently. Kinda like INFJ pokes in peoples emotions I poke around in their minds. I do see them as a system, and everything they do as a result of that. But I don't feel I use people to get to my ultimate goals at all costs... hmmm.
I'm also confused.I don't think I would be that heartless in order to achieve my goals.
Yeah, in my experience INFJs are the cold ones underneath not INTJS. (ISTP)
I agree with this! At our core lies our values and emotions (Fi). We deconstruct reality (Ni), distilling (Te) facts into Truth, but all starting from a very personal, emotional place (Fi). I love when people say how smart, clever, logical, or whatever else they think I am... It feeds my ego like nobody's business, but it's also because I'm interacting with them through Te. However, the reality is... At my core, I am my values and my feelings. It absolutely sucks, lol. My girlfriend is an INFJ and I would have to say she is much more inclined to be Machiavellian. Now, if you want to talk about manipulating a situation for what I perceive (based on Fi) to be good, then that is where I have the possibility of becoming villainous. I would be the type of villain who is convinced he's the good guy- the Thanos, a true believer. Luckily, I'm generally a good person... I think... Right? lol... I generally find it's helpful to poll the audience on this one... just in case I've gone Thanos and don't realize it. (Just in case my particular take on this is skewed because of it, I'm an Enneagram 1.)
Right on the button for ENTP, me and ENTJ, my husband. It has been very difficult for him to "retire" Impossible actually, he always has to have a big project going.
When he went through a slump of inactivity he would watch James Bond, or Steve McQueen movies or Pierce Brosnan movies with whom he identifies. I made him stop because he is much more than these guys, and because I think it wrong to live illusionary lives. (ENTPs do have principles as you pointed out, and we do care about the people around us. And, I used to drive him nuts questioning everything and then stopped because it was undermining his energy to have to explain every single thing he was going to do.
Fortunately, at age 76 he still has lots of physical, and mental energy to learn new things like right now creating a 30 page website with hundreds of photos (no easy task to get them all coordinated in size) when he has never done this kind of thing before. BTW Thank you ever so much for your series. It is informative and so much fun.
Oh yes as an ENFJ I have often thought it's just as well people are not telepathic or that my thoughts don't instantly write themselves on social media. Also when I do give someone the whole truth it's not done on a whim, I've calculated that I will do so whether that is because I truly believe that they are need of that tough love (and can handle it), really want to hear the truth or because I am very angry, being pushed and decide I deliberately want to hurt them back - it may appear as I snapped but I will have actually thought about it. It's not something to be proud of, it's definitely something I will feel ashamed of once done, more so because I did it deliberately. Fortunately I've only done so rarely, unfortunately with those closest to me (since they are the ones most likely to be able to get me to a state of furiousness)
Omg that INTP was spot on.
I agree with you
Yes
It often requires one to be the same type to have great depth of knowledge about it.
As an INTP myself, I tend to agree with the assessment -- Spot-on!!
This makes me understand my ISTJ fiance better. I have been surprised several times that talking about uncertain future events makes her really worried and stressed. I guess the fact that she is willing to show me this means that she trusts me a lot. I will try to be more gentle with this in the future.
INTP: 8:36 and I think this is right on. I am critical of myself always, and by extension, everyone else as well. I also expect others to hold themselves to the same standards and anything else is intellectually dishonest. And never do I think of myself as intelligent the way others see me, I believe them to be wrong, misguided, and thinking too highly of me.
You are so right about me!! (ENFJ) 😂😂 There are a few people in my life that I pour sappy compliments on and sometimes they don’t think I really mean it because it’s so much. However, while I genuinely care for everyone, I like few and my opinions of most people is a bit harsh. If those I have overwhelming positive thoughts toward only knew what a big deal it is for me. 😂😂😂
I think this is a really great video! The video and the comments here really give a great insight into the struggles we all have. And that is somehow weirdly uplifting and motivational.
Thnx,
An ENTP
(who slept way too short last night, which somehow unlocks my emotional side and makes me overshare my feelings)
💯 infj: selectively cold.
Distance to recharge
Silence to process
Silence to formulate the best answers
A break off to keep peace or recover
Intj here: one of my darkest secrets is hollowness. I think i can get whatever i want in life, but, to do so, i will be so distant from my family and potential loved ones that that i will feel empty about all of my achievements.
So, it can mean that loneliness is scaring me, as well; this scares me much more than becoming a villain😂.
Maybe I’m not an intj.
i know the feeling. i mean, you could attempt being in control of the world you choose to control, and maybe you’d even succeed. but what is it worth if no one else gets it and you can’t find anyone who could relate? it’s lonely at the top, and not worth it. so i chose to use that optimisation thing we do, well i won’t say sparingly hahahaha but… not all the time. and most of the time it’s to make it so i’m well positioned to shelter others. and i learn from watching the ExFJs how to support others without them feeling aware you’re doing it. took me a long time but i recommend it. - also INTJ
As an INFP, I often struggle with this intense and overwhelming passion for whatever I am really excited about. I want to share that with my family, but nobody in my inner circle cares, so I feel very angry and dark and frustrated with everyone. But I keep those feelings hidden most of the time. To be fair, I do like to go on and on about things sometimes. Like my personal research on brain chemistry or whatever new thing I learned to do on my violin. I just want to share my passion with someone. Essentially I feel alone all the time and it takes a toll on my mental health.
Oof relatable. I’m an INFP too and always excited by the new thing, but it’s hard to get other people to respond with any enthusiasm. It makes you feel alone. I’m lucky to have an INFJ in my life who, if they can’t summon enthusiasm can at least see it’s important to me and respond accordingly.
@@bodine219 I feel the same. Just noticed way too late how lonely, sad and depressed it can make me, if my positive feelings get suppressed and my bad ones get too much wrong attention. Currently forming my circle in a way that I can express myself in any way and feeling good about it.
One of the things that, as an INFP myself, dare say that ALL INFPs should learn, & is part of one of our most fundamental lessons in life, is really to STOP wanting other people's approval & appreciation, & be comfortable in our own skins just being who we are & doing what we do. to be fair, the world owes us NOTHING, & especially NOT attention. we may not be aware of it, but attention & time are actually VERY EXPENSIVE things to ask for in this day & age, & as much as i hate to admit it, what we got to bring to the table, what we WANT to bring to the table most of the time, ain't actually worth their time.
Instead of craving attention & appreciation, the best thing we could do for ourselves in your case, is to simply turn our energy inward & enjoy what we do for the sake of what we do. it doesn't matter that we turn somewhat cynical & selfish along the way (no one's gonna look out for us if we don't look out for ourselves after all), a karma that ALL INFPs have to deal with, which is a choice we need to make over & over, is to choose between pleasing those around us, & being ourselves doing our own thing, a choice we have to make because for most part, it's impossible to have both.
Ironically, it's also by turning our energies inward & into the things that truly make us happy, being so good at them that we get to SHINE in our earnest, that we get that attention we so crave at the initial stages of our journeys. the irony of only getting attention when we actually STOP asking for it, is one thing that i dare say, that ALL INFPs have to come to terms with. being able to turn whatever burst of energy we feel so compelled to share outward, in the OTHER direction, coming to terms that we NEED to be lonely in order to be good at what we do, is the only way we get to attract the kind of attention, & with that, the kind of crowd, that we're truly looking for.
@@FalconWindblader Thank you for your wisdom. It’s a bitter pill, but I know you’re right.
I get what you mean so much. My parents and sisters don't care about anything of what I like.
It's tough not feeling lonely.
ENFJ - This is painfully true. We take pride in our ability to mediate and control the emotional tone of a room for a more positive outcome, so admitting our more negative thoughts is... difficult. I can find a positive thing to say about pretty much any situation or person, but I don't only think those things. Even some of my closest friends don't know what I'm thinking most of the time. My Ni & Ti are for me, and me alone.
There have been a couple of times that I'll say what I really think when someone is treating a friend/SO badly. I do not hold back, you'd be wise not to mess with people an ENFJ cares about. Our Te shadow (demon function) is ruthless when it serves our Fe.
This is fucking true. The shadow mode of Enfjs may lead them to give up on humanity
As an ENFJ, I am telling you that we have little folders in our minds about every person and their weaknesees and about what they want to be seen like. We DON'T TELL ANYONE those things and prefere to keep them for ourself. I know that that may sound a little diabolic but that's the harsh truth. On the other hand, with people we care about we can be the kindest and most loving persons we know. We try to take care and make a good impresion to everyone but to the ones we really care about (there are few and it's hard to get there) we would do anything for them. Also to get close to us it dons't matter how much yime we know you for, but the way you are to us. For example there can be a person that is trying ti get close to us but if at some point we feel like you are trying to be competitive with us or that something jyst dosn't click we would probably never let you in. At the same time, if a person feels right to us we could get close to it in even a day. Ok, so I have tried to explain here as much as I could about this personality type from an ENFJ perspective.
I was thinking to myself, what will my INTP one be? Perhaps he will reveal my imposter syndrome? Nah, that's a personal conditi-
My flavor of imposter syndrome is exactly as he describes. When I do push past my lack of confidence, I notice that I become highly INTJ-like.
Intjs are less confident in their very own thinking (introverted thinking, ti) whilst intps are confident at what they think. Ti Ne s are like “this is what I think, but what if?” Ni Te s are like “This is how i think it operates but what’s the actuality based on folks’ thinking”. It’s quite different. Intps can almost never look like an intj, almost all the functions are the opposite.
Early on in life INTPs tend to take a very INFJ approach to life in the sense that we end up feeling like we're worthless until we slowly find that self worth. This is due to the fact that the only things we know at the time are the interests of the social structure we live under. This is very unfulfilling and mundane to INTPs. We begin to think that our society designed by and intended for sensing types is all that there is left in the world which causes us to become depressed as we begin to believe that we don't have a part in this world and that we are therefore useless. The truth is that if you believe something or observe something in life you manifest it into reality, if you believe you're stupid then you will manifest that into reality. If you're stupid and you hate the mundane tasks of society then there is no longer anything left for you in this life. This is a big rut that I as an INTP fell into when I was younger but when I started pursuing my own interests outside of society and taking in more information on my own terms I gained my own independence. That independence is what frees you from this personal trap you make for yourself and helps you truly understand yourself and your place in this world, not just in society.
As an ENTP, I agree with that so much. By the end of the day, I do want the people around me to feel happy and I do feel bad when I accidentally hurt someone who didn't deserve it with a joke or a controversial hot take. That tertiary Fe is always there.
The ENTJ part is spot-on too. I've spent so much time talking with my ENTJ friend whose main problem is that she has a constant need for external validation through achievments that others will recognize her for.
That tertiary Fe is lovely and appreciated. Makes us intjs feel save around you because we know you care and we know you mean it too. -intj.
@@grazynawolska8160 Oh, thanks. By the way, are you, by any chance, Polish?
ISTP-
this is so accurate, Jeezuss😂😂
ENFJ - I genuinely feel very attacked. Hope none of my friends see this.
Agree😂 mostly because it is true
I will say it again just because we like to see the good things doesn't mean we are this cute innocent things that need to be protected. We know those things. Just some accept it and other don't
-INFP
Good video. A lot of things ring true, especially for the Te/Fe/Ti family members whose insecurities I’m intimately familiar with (my four-person family is a complete lead-judging-function square!).
The ISTJ/ESTJ/ENTJ stuff all essentially comes from having relatively little handle on and control over the inner world of feelings and the psyche and the self, and I’ve seen all of those traits within the same person. As an INFP, it’s often pained me to see people expend so much effort on controlling externalities like their environment or their image/status or sometimes other people to maintain their sanity or self-esteem instead of delving directly into the source within. It speaks to the sort of opposite approaches to life that FPs and TJs tend to have.
As for ‘dark and disillusioned’ for INFP: Can be. Been there. Maybe still am about certain things. But I’m also a fundamentally optimistic person, and someone driven to make the best of myself and my experiences, even the bad ones. Some of the most important internal struggles I’ve been through have involved finding ways to make peace with harsh realities and empower myself against them - and to integrate facets of realism and practicality into myself without ‘betraying’ my nature. In the end, I’m still my optimistic, idealistic self, but more well-rounded and better equipped to deal with various realities of life. I’ve put in a lot of work tending to my mind and can really say there isn’t all that much darkness in me these days, except when I’m actively dealing with BS from people. But if you read my journal from the past decade, you’d see a lot of dark and depressing stuff for like 3/4 of the way. I’ve definitely seen some INFPs who just get stuck in that kind of place indefinitely…
Another thing about INFPs and ‘darkness’ is the openness that a lot of us have to exploring all kinds of feelings and ideas, to a degree that people sometimes don’t expect or understand. I remember seeing an MBTI sketch where the INFP was disturbed about the theme of some game being ‘dark’, and that rang pretty false to me. As far as I go, at least, when it comes to imagination, art, and ideas, pretty much anything goes. I’m interested in the full spectrum of human emotion, psychology, and self-expression and more open to the dark and uncomfortable facets of all this than most people I’ve known. But yeah, sometimes our soft and gentle outward demeanor doesn’t jive with that for people. I’ve definitely gotten some puzzled (or concerned/judgmental) reactions in my life in that regard.
I cut two whole paragraphs out of this post and it's still long AF. Congratulations/sorry if you made it this far.
Fellow INFP here, and I relate to a lot of what you said there! Well done for going on that difficult journey of making peace with realities and empowering yourself. I'm going through that journey right now, and it's definitely difficult, but so, so rewarding! More power to you man! All the best for your future journeys too (internal ones of course! ;))
ENTP: Debating becomes tedious eventually. Yes, there is always another point of view, and expressing all of them takes so much energy and so much time. Often, I would rather not start a conversation if it is going to take so many hours just to get out all the points of view.
Eventually, the ENTP seeks something that they can truly believe in. That may initiate the quest for the missing Fi. If NE is the hero, then FI is the handsome prince or beautiful princess. It is feeling that one can believe in and that is immune to any equivocation.
For me, this essential virtue has to do with having faith in one’s own essential “goodness.” I cannot find any other word for it that carries any resonance. This goodness is not a moral quality, and it has no opposite. It is simply inheres in all human beings, and one knows it by feeling it. It cannot be destroyed by abuse, betrayal, or disappointment - it is there in Charles Manson - although one can forget - and, once a person forgets, it may take them a long time, and a lot of work, to remember. If a person does not have faith in this part of themself, they are always “catching up” to the starting line. Life is rootless and restless without this faith in the basic goodness of oneself.
I believe that the “worst thing” that a person can do is to encourage another person to loose this essential faith in the goodness of themself. That does not mean that one is unaware of the parts of themself that need more work. I am ENTP to the core, and I have come to this perspective - a simple, internal, feeling perspective - after many years of searching. I appreciate having the opportunity to articulate it here.
ENFP here. So true... And I think ESTJ is also very accurate. You need force help on them since they won't ask for it.
This is a brilliant video. Thank you!
"INFPs are dark"
INFPs: *panik* NO! we're totally NOT!
I think ENTP dark secret, at least for me, is that I don't know how I feel about something. I just don't know. So my way of combating that is to keep hoarding information and exploring the world (and I end up doing things I shouldn't do just so I can "know" how I feel about something) this usually means pressing pause on important things like study, social interactions, work, where I live and instead I go "experimenting." I question everything, even good things, just to make sure if it really is a good thing because I don't know if that's true because there is always another stone to turn and learn (there is always the other side).
Yep lol. Me INTJ asking ENTP "how are you feeling today?".... ENTP: "oh the weather is nice...or....my inlaws are visiting!" Made me laugh internally a bit cause that wasn't the question lol. 🤣 it's OK, we all have our battles.
@@grazynawolska8160 hahaha so relatable, I'm English so the weather is the perfect answer to the "how are you feeling? Question. For the longest time in confused Fi with Si. To be honest I still wonder if Si and Fi are the same. I'm sad when I'm hormonal, angry when I'm tired, happy when I am drunk (just kidding). How else do you feel? I don't get it. If I'm not experiencing some physical/biological change I don't really "feel." I got asked once "would you rather kill a cat or a dog" and my first thought was "is one of them sick?"
@@lulukrassova2196 hehe "is one of them sick?" you're trying to get the best value...keep healthy one. The Fi person would just say something like "I wouldn't kill anything" and make it about making a moral stance type-of-answer. It's true there are emotions brought on by Si, for me irritable when hot for example lol. But there are also emotions based on emotion. Sad because something happened or happy because something didn't. Sometimes Fi is just about liking or not liking something. I always used to tease the ENTP about zoom call backgrounds and lighting. I noticed many people use Fi to chose a background that expresses how they feel. They also intuitively know how to stand in decent lighting. The ENTP is clueless here. Disconnected from Fi (confusing background) and Se (terrible lighting). I'd tease them all the time with "why do you look like a shadowy disembodied head in a green blur (background)??" And they would protest "what do you mean!! Aren't we all disembodied heads in a blur????" No ENTP we are not LOL. I let it go now but still makes me laugh how bad the ENTP can look on a zoom call due to low Fi-Se. I tested their understanding of it once. A coworker used a raging fire as a background because thats how they feel their workload is going lol.... another uses pictures of space cause she don't want to be there... they wanna disconnect. I think the ENTP got it finally. And yes I made them watch video on CZcams on how to look good on a zoom call lol. Sorry this INTJ loves to tease the ENTP.... but we also try to help in the fi-se hehe.
ISFP with the need to isolate, 100%.
INTJ: Well put, especially the very last bit.
As an INFJ: You feel like you understand everybody, yet nobody seems to understand you
Im an entp and i really understand this feeling its like walking with a hole in your heart and despite feeling empty you keep filling other people's heart ... little advice for you : you should stop caring. Dont fill their hearts. Dont even reassure them . And just accept that you are different and nobody ever gonna understand u . Use your own energy to fill your heart not others
As an INFJ, yes! I often help because I want to be a good person or because I'd want someome to help me or because I dont want someone to suffer or whatever other reason, but I also sometimes help and put up with people's shit -- especially from people ive known for awhile -- because I need people to like me. I realized it a few weeks ago and mentioned it to a friend because I thought it was obvious -- I use humor (I'm always making friends double over with laughter) and advice-giving and compassion to make myself useful and relevant to others, and when I subconsciously pick up on their emotions and feel them, that makes me want to make them feel good for my own sake, especially since I and other INFJs arent always in touch with our own emotions like we are for others' -- we can use other peoples' feelings to get our emotional fixes without even knowing it.
Tl;dr the video is spot on. Dont expect me to be nice all the time just because I'm an INFJ. We have a lot of patience but when that wears thin, youve fucked up.
Man I don't comment much on the videos I watch but i gotta say, I feel so understood and excited when I watch you, top job man keep going.
-ISTP
ps: not a native English speaker if a said something wrong just correct me 😉
I’m late, but I wanted to say this video is brilliant Nathan!
INTJ here. Well, I have manipulated people and became toxic to some to gain stuff. Not proud of that. When I was young, I created a mental list in my head of all the things my sister did that our mum doesn’t know about. I threatened her with them. I was really selfish. Almost dictator-y. Even now, sometimes I hate it when others have higher power than me. I also sometimes think that the world would be a much better place if everyone thought like I did. I sometimes write very long, manipulative emails to my teachers when they grade me low. It scares me sometimes.
But I’m quite confused. I don’t think I would be cold to achieve my goals. Not intentionally. I’m kinda soft yk
You've exposed me big time. I've always been labeled as intelligent, but always felt like an idiot. Especially given my poor performance in school. As I've gotten older, however, I've realized that I'm typically the smartest person in the room. Despite this, I still doubt my intelligence. Especially when I'm proven wrong or have to eliminate some type of cognitive dissonance. -INTP
i 10000% agree with the ENTP one
Entj here and that definitely makes sense. Though they aren't achievements per se, most people know me for what I do rather than who I am. Whenever I refer to myself, it's by what I do and what I'm good at rather than who I am. For example, I don't identify myself with traits such as kind, smart, etc rather I go straight to something like "I make music". Something like that
The istp is too accurate, I can't
Scouring through your channel, ingesting each single detail, savouring every detail mulling over each single word of yours 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
I have an enfj friend and his dark secret was dead on lol
This is really good
INFP truly spot on. Especially when you said "in fiction, infps are the one who doesn't stop believing that things would go well, or good guys will win" FACTS! I have been told by people (I've been arguing with) on the internet before that I'm too hopeful or optimistic about something that's either in fictional or in theories, the "good guys will win/are right" mindset etc. BUT! In reality, I can think of the most morally and ethically fucked-up thoughts in my mind against my will. I don't know if I have a bit of OCD (obsessive thoughts) but these "indecent" thoughts would flash through my brain before I can stop myself and it makes me feel legitimately disgusted with myself but I can't control it.. but there's also pretty dark thoughts that I have by choice.
perhaps INFPs come across that way because you can see the reason WHY things *must* go well, and the good guys *must* win. you can see into the abyss of what will be if it did not come true. and it seems to me you can feel it as if it were a personal experience, rather than just predicting it dispassionately like an NT might do.
The thing he said about ENTP actually caring sounds like Fi. As I understood it, Fi is pretty insignificant for ENTPs. Could someone explain how the ENTP “Dark Secret” works with functions?
As an ISTP I can confirm. I can have a things are what they are sort of mentality regardless of a situation, in which I am sort of accepting of everything, but that strength to see the and accept the actuality of things is where I think a strength can be found, because I can analyze every aspect of it without being so emotional about it, to where I can think of solutions out of it from a detached perspective.
I'm ISTJ and what you said about us is very, VERY accurate
(Istj) I always feel like I'm an open book with my insecurities about all uncertainties in the world, but GOD how many times people were genuinely shocked that I'm not as confident and stoic as I (somehow) seem to be. So true...
I was considered always perfect on the outside because of grades and my shallow optimistic attitude towards everything. I got spoiled by people and they never allowed me to express myself in my own way except for what they expected of me, so most of my life has been nothing but half truths. I'm still a perfectionist but as I am getting older it feels like I am more avoided, getting all of that attention back then despite not having friends to a sudden switch going off where no one wants to talk to me because of my physical out put. It never quite bothered me because I am a very calm person, stressed mind but calm heart. It is a odd switch but I've been told I am intimidating because they don't know what I am thinking or feeling anymore and that I actually know what I want in life for myself (societal wise; career. Natural wise; living in nature with my own family which I have never told anyone about).
I am very out of touch with people, at least that's what I know deep down but not what I show to the world... I don't mind but I do at the same time. I am nihilistic to go with the Machiavellian thoughts/beliefs to the point I found myself numb when I go do anything. Anything manmade feels grey to me because of it's real nature of "improvement" for us. I hate people and the societal system.. yet I wouldn't be no different if I had that power to control everyone; whether they prosper or get offed for the sake of population control. I see improvement, I am very optimistic about that, but I don't see it for society and human nature. I want every person on the planet dead yet I want to see if we can prosper out of space or helping our own planet. I get jumbled between what is real and what could be real but what could be isn't always guaranteed and is determined by the people. I have been in this loop for some years... It keeps me up at night and gives me existential dread on who I want to be and what I want to do in my control that will make me happy but not fall over the greedy system society created. It makes me feel like I'm losing it overall -INTJ
To be clear, ENFJ only do that because truth is not easily handled by everyone. I used to hurt and fight with people a lot back when I had no filter. I still speak my mind as honestly as possible because otherwise I'd suffocate. Now if what I'm thinking might hurt someone yet needs to be said I use tact or hint at it, and sometimes I simply wait for the right moment to give it 100%. Like I don't see the point in hurting people unnecessarily. My truth isn't always the truth or other's people truth.
THANK YOU , my main reason is exactly that , I am not that confident in my truth ( I know inferior Ti much ) , and even if I am , I know it's not the only truth , nor is it everyone's ( Ni takes the wheel) , but once I judge my truth to be truly beneficial to the other ( Fe dominates ), I am not sure if it's worth ruining my peaceful relationship/ interactions with them , if THEY are worth the conflict and the resolution I am about to burden my self with , so either they are and I say my truth or they are not even worth keeping the relationship going and I also say it , one case I won't say it , I don't agree with you but still wanna be friendly , not sure about friends though 🤷♀️
So ENFJ is like Sideshow Bob's quote:
"The truth?! You can't handle the truth!!"
I can get behind said worries. People sometimes are like nitroglycerine.
as ENFJ there is one thing I can say 100% truthfully:
THIS IS CORRECT! I am always holding back my full opinions and choosing only the best possible words to say what I mean!
The trick to the INTJ one is never allowing the chess pieces to know they are a piece on a board.
That's why I avoid relationships with INTJs. When I see INTJ trying to manipulate/manipulating people I just want to hit them in the face
@@aur.sanne77 Meet a good one and you'll never know.
@@squoblat I kinda like that tbh
"This masks and what is ISTJ would consider a secret they could reveal is that internally they don't have any more certainty about things than anyone else. In fact, this stone and stubborn demeanor is something of a reaction to their fear about the uncertainty in the world they want to protect against negative outcomes and futures to protect themselves and the people close to them. So their unshakable rock-solid attitude towards life is inextricably linked to their fear of uncertain aspects of it".
Well, as an ISTJ, this is true. I don't pretty much have any clue, like a grand plan on future. It's true. The future to me is pretty much uncertain, and i don't know how i can figure it out everything at once. I maybe good in day to day work and life, but not that any change don't bother me, they do. Still, I still go with everyday life, the future i can figure it out in later stage of life.
Great video! It rang true to me about most people/types I know, especially the ENTP.
However, I find I resonate about 50% of the time with your description of ISTP as much as I do my own type, ENFP. This video has me wondering if this is because of the slight difference in the concepts of “cynicism” and “nihilism/detachment”. I feel the shadow in me is more the latter, and I believe those closest to me would agree. Any other ENFPs relate?
Yeah I'm not sure I fully understand what he meant about cynicism for enfps. I feel like I can be very realistic about things, and I can see the joy in the life. I can also be very detached to my environment. I can still see the meaning of life, but in a more pragmatic way. Maybe hes talking about depression? 🤷
hidden depression probably-
I love these videos!!! I deal with the cynical side of being an ENFP by concentrating my dreams and idealistic plans on myself and those I love. I am no longer trying to save the world, because, my dear friends, that is a sure fire way of getting burned out by the time you're 50. You know how you should put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help the person next to you? It's not selfish, it's actually the opposite ❤😘
That's a very healthy way of dealing with your tertiary Te. I'm proud of you.
@@end4567
I was about to say that right before reading your comment.
I have also been experiencing two modes of Te so far:
1. Trying to 'save' others.
2. The lecturing mode, where I start pin pointing all those errors in the system and say them out loud in people's faces.
What I've learned is that most people are not as excited as I am to know what should be improved or how to get things done properly. To my family: I'm almost a very annoying critic. I highly believe that I get to be better at teaching people by example and 'ignore' what can be ignored to maintain a good deal of harmony.
@@rehammohammed846 That's a hard truth one must accept. I an an INTJ and I had to go through a decent amount of pain as a child simply because people thought I was trying to look smart or like I'm better than them when pointing out ways they could do their work better. Eventually, I learned that a lot of people actually just want to do their own thing even if it is highly inefficient, especially SPs. Probably that's just their way of learning, I guess. It was annoying at first but in the end, I learned that it was more important to concentrate on myself and the people close to me. It's futile trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Been happier since I decided to adapt this ideology.
@@end4567
I highly agree with you!
I also choose to be more focused on my own business. Less worries, more space to enjoy and grow.
Also, I think you finally got me to try the Discord again, but I gotta keep it muted. Dealing with a noisy server is one of the things that makes me doubt my "E."
Yep, you nailed us INFP perfectly!