Never Run Out Of Things To Say... (CONFIDENCE HACKS)
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- čas přidán 24. 10. 2023
- 90% of people run out of things to say in conversation... This video reveals the #1 thing that helped me overcome this!
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Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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Never Run Out Of Things To Say... (CONFIDENCE HACKS)
How to be confident in any situation! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals how to stop caring about what others think about you... This will allow you to feel confident and be confident in any social situation!
Discover how to be confident in any social situation, how to be confident around people and how to be grounded during social interactions!
#julienblanc #julienhimself
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Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment)
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🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
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- If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: czcams.com/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/video.html
- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: czcams.com/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/video.html
- What I did to improve my social skills: czcams.com/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/video.html
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@julienhimself But what if the path that I'm taking disappoints my father? So are you trying to say don't really worry about this image of myself and be 100% genuine about my life even if it disappoints those who I'm trying live up too? I need help because I feel torn about my life, I feel fake and I feel as if I'm passing through this life just getting by to please everyone around me instead of living. :/
"You're not meant to act your way through life, your meant to live your way through life". This one hit me hard Julian.
Glad this was impactful! 🔥👊
Need to make this a wallpaper 😅
"If youre not embarrassing yourself your not taking high enough risks"
Dang.
Social freedom - when you're so comfortable with yourself that you don't fear rejection or disapproval. It feels like a superpower.
Reminds me of me improving my confidence and social skills to be better at game because everyone around me was getting married. I was that kind of guy who thought I was being myself when I would be extremely nice to women, trying to win them over through flowers, looks, and money. Then I realize I was being fake by putting women on a pedestal. So afraid to take risks because I thought anything that I do or say that's not in line with her way of living might potentially make women dislike me. It's try-hard and cringe and I realize how much of a fool I was.
Allowing yourself to get embarrassed also shows you when you are triggered, giving you some good data that you can work off of.
There’s this one older guy that works with me. His main language is Spanish, but he understands English enough and is able to speak English as well, but not as clear or fluent. He’s always in good spirit as he’ll always ask me and everyone else if we need help, or he’ll bring waters and other stuff we may need on his own. I always appreciate his kind gestures and his positive attitude rubs off all of us coworkers to the pint where even though we don’t always understand everything that he says, it’s the way he says things and his intentions behind them.
I never feel weird or awkward being silent around close family members like my mom. I think its good to have silence aswell, not necessarily always blabbing on about stuff XD
This is pickup material repurposed as communication lessons so he uses safe examples as such
Who or what has taught us to be so self-conscious, to hide our true selves under a socially acceptable fascade, that we need to re-learn how to be genuine in a conversation?
School
The elite rich organisations that run this world
It's a sociological process in order to keep you being a contributing individual in society. If you become unacceptable to a group, it was Life threatening in ancient times.
The more appropriate question to ask would be: since when did people become so self absorbed, that they expect to behave without thinking about their environment and still get fully accepted, as if there are no consequences to your behavior?
SCHOOL. Man you oughta raise your hand and ASK the teacher if you can take a piss and if they say no, it's no 😂
That’s how you get labeled a “racist nazi”, and get canceled you sweet sweet summer child.
I can’t get over those shoes 😂
🕺🕺🕺
@@JulienHimselfWhat shoes are they???
@@JulienHimselfWhere can I get those shoes? It's an emergency, I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW!
@@JulienHimself I have been looking for these shoes for months but can't find em. Please answer
@@skythboyimran potato feet shoes, they are pretty expensive, he usually wears pretty expensive brands too
Honestly Julien your content is always super practical and easy to approach!!❤
Thank you! Glad it's so helpful! 🙏
The problem with the approach of lowering your barrier for me is, I have a tendency to overshare with people when I run out of things to talk about with people I don't know very well, for example details about myself that might lower my value in people's eyes (eg. sharing my insecurities) or sometimes details or stories about others that, if I had more of a filter, I would think twice about sharing as I would be causing harm to the reputation of myself or others.
Yeah this is what's been holding me back as well, but like he said, it's more about how you say it, not what you say, I think we should work on the skill of setting the vibe, I feel like then you can say just about anything atrocious and laugh it off
Here’s a life hack: Find a way to center the convo around the other persons life and and only talk about yourself when it relates to what they are saying. A lot of people will perceive u as someone who they can share stuff with. The other layer to this is when someone gets to speak about themselves and they are laughing at how well u know them that’s a sweet spot
Fuck all that. Overshare. Who cares? If that's what's authentic to how you speak, cool. Say whatever is on your mind. But make it cool, funny, cocky, witty. Or, even if you don't because you're being a needy bitch, let's say, because that's your authenticity in the moment, also cool. Be who you fucking are and be real. People will think you're badass, or a weirdo, but you'll find the right ones.
@@djatlasmusik but isn’t that people pleasing? Letting the other one talk to make them feel good and hide away your true self by shining the light on others?
The concept of attracting people to the authentic you rather than your public persona is extremely interesting and insightful. I've never thought about it that way before, but it really would be a surefire way to find people you can connect with
Yeah, models talks about it when it comes to dating. Mark manson is a pick up artists who pulled girls through "game". He had a change of heart when he met a guy who got girls being vulnerable. He then wrote models which is all about being authentic and congruent
Julien you're a legend!
You help me and others around the world. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you! Glad my content has been so helpful for you! 🙌
Juliet, I'm from China, my country bans PUA, how can I be like you, I want to be like you.@@JulienHimself
Everytime i watch your videos I can always relate, you're such a great communicator and you have a great ability to change people's perceptions.
You're rockin' those shoes btw 🔥😎
I just want to say thank you for putting up some real advice for confidence and being yourself and not alpha BS. This video really resonated with me.
Why does it matter if u run out of things to say it is an awful amount of pressure to put on one’s self to have to talk non stop. Been quiet is a blessing and been able to be quiet around people it takes confidence to be quiet people who have to fill silence are usually insecure
Being interesting is more important. As long as you want growth and advancement in life. Being quiet (coming from someone who was a quiet person) gets you nowhere. You have times and places for being quiet.
@@aliveonmoonrocks might be important to u to come off as interesting 🧐 to people but when u get older u don’t tend to give a crap if u come off as interesting or not it is about been authentic and there is nothing worse than someone trying to be chatty when they aren’t naturally that way it comes off as desperate I think. It is about been comfortable been quiet and comfortable been able to talk if u want to
@@aliveonmoonrocks I very much disagree with this and I'm a loud person. The pendulum swings both ways when it comes to this. I am loud because I am insecure. And a lot of the time when I force myself to be quiet and not take up all the responsibility to carry a conversation, I grow. A quiet person may be very much confident. This may not resonate with you but it's pretty common! Lot's of quiet people are quiet simply because they are comfortable, relaxed, and enjoying the present moment. Just a reminder that everyone has different experience (:
@fransinclair3356 being authentic and interesting aren't two different things, plus being average is fine if that's what you want but I obsess over my goals and am highly motivated to learn new skills, being quiet was a weakness for me, being quiet at the right times is a strength
@boopbopflipflop2759 there a line, don't be too loud, don't be too quiet. Know the situation. Be self conscious/ self analyzing to adapt, learn, grow as an individual
Love this so much! You are such a light to many, thank you!
Great stuff. Being authentic is the way to live, even if it means being vulnerable and not hiding behind masks and acting. But, after it's all said and done, it's a lot more refreshing being genuine, and when life truly begins.
For the past years i have denied myself a lot of emotions. Didnt have any boundaries anymore. Didnt even cry when i got diagnosed with chronic disease. And have been struggling with anxiety and panic. I have started with letting go in the past year. Im feeling a LOT of emotions again. I have made some desicions for myself and now i find myself sitting alone in bali. Other side of the world from my home country. Never thought in 1000 years i would ever do this.
Thank you Julien, this makes so much sense and i appreciate how you put your words together❤️
Hi Julien, I'm from Brazil, and if wasnt your sharing this content on youtube I would probably never heard about you, but you are helping me a lot, thanks for the advices and videos
Great video! Most videos on this topic focus on WHAT to say, BUT there are still three more layers to go, I never knew this - wow thanks
Thank you, this is very uplifting! I needed to hear this today. Perfect timing for me to recieve this.
Thank you Julien for all those helpful insights. I really appreciate you.
Julien every single video of you is pure gold
lol his appearance paired with that title I was convinced this must be satire. but no, really good stuff to take to heart!
thanks for the reminders
I dont mind the pauses. The silence is super valuable to me because conversations could keep going and going and taking a second to take a break helps us all breathe and live life normally
SOOOOOO MUCH TRUTH HERE CANT WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT (plus your outfit is dope)
Awesome content Julien!
And by the way dude, I really think you're in for a ride! There's more to come. Much love!❤
One thing I can remember is being in a foreign country with less local language skills will cut off the first layer immediately. The lack of words and the willingness to connect with people drag you automatically in. So funny when I drop myself into risky circumstances. Haha
Btw.: Nice outfit for a speaker 😂
Hey Julien Thank you for helping me in healing Journey 🙏
You're so welcome! Glad my content resonates with you!
The shirt. The slippers. The kimono. I’m here for it 💯 this man is so genuine.
that was the learning i needed thanks man you're the best
This is so powerful. Thank you very much!
And right after I typed that, I realized there is this filter behind my words. An almost always present intention to not be disliked.
You always will play a role in society. Just choose the more appropriate for you.
"Embarrass yourself more". Easier said done done. BUT CAN BE DONE!
You're absolutely right that it's how you say it but when you are dealing with unhealthy hyper Vigilant people, who haven't done their inner healing LOL they're not interpreting your tone accurately at all. No matter what you do LOL I learned throughout 20 years of working in healthcare to just continue being me, and not altering for another, speaking consistently and confidently, while I watched so many people have various reactions over the years depending on what was going on within them, which is the only way they can interpret the world around them.
Awesome video and so many examples you talk about that has helped me become a much better speaker and genuine person
This guy is outa this world! What planet did he come from? He certainly practices what he preaches. Subscribed immediately.
Welcome to the channel! 🙌
This guy has some really great insights to say! Thank you Julien
You're so welcome!
Love to see you grow Julien. Been following for the past couple of years ! Certainly that ginger bearded guy had an effect lmao
This whole thing is a game. Not a trivial game, but one played none the less. -Alan Watts paraphrased
I did not expect this video to be this good
Do your best and ignore the outcome! We don’t control outcomes!
Especially the “what do they think of me” outcome.
You are so right!
I just found you its great that and its true we worry too much about being confident too much thinking and confident people dont even think about it
This dude is dressed like a custom character in a videogame, but good advice otherwise lol
Thanks! 😂
“Hi I’m Julien, I like salad.” That’s where I want to be
This is the way... 😂
Love your videos! I NEED to know how you choose your outfits though 😂 I can't stop looking at those giant feet shoes with those pajama pants
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:30 📚 Communication is not just about content but also the vibe; introduces the concept of "four layers of communication."
00:59 🗣 The surface layer, "what you say," is often overemphasized, but it's the least important compared to "how you say it."
02:41 🎭 Avoid fake, people-pleasing intonations; speak naturally as you would with close friends and family.
03:16 💡 Intention behind words is crucial; distinction between "offering value" and "taking value" is more about the underlying frame or intention.
06:04 🌱 The deepest layer, your level of self-esteem, is the hardest to fake and the most powerful; it's more significant than the surface layers.
08:48 🎭 Focusing too much on the superficial layer of conversation leads to overthinking and stifling your natural flow of speech.
09:17 🎯 Lower the bar for what you say; trying to be perfect comes across as "try-hard" and inauthentic.
10:53 🗨️ Being open and lowering the barrier to speak increases connection and decreases the chance of running out of things to say.
12:30 🎢 Taking risks and embarrassing yourself leads to growth and more interesting life stories.
14:00 🎭🚫 Being authentic may initially push people away but ultimately attracts those who resonate with your true self.
Made with HARPA AI
Damn youre strong knowladge guy. Thats cool. Thanks a lot, it halps maldy
Charisma on command who? Haha! This is so good!
Thank you!
Good content again!
Great teaching 👏❤️
i find i funny i lern so much from a guy with feet shoes and doom t-shirt and sunglasses. thanks alot :D
God Bless Julien...
THE SHOES!!!! 🤣😍
🔥👊
Where can i get those shoes?
Shoes are insane
Man, u are a superhero❤
I know so much of this myself, came to these conclusions myself but it’s so hard to actually execute it’s insane.
This video is pure gold😮
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🗣️ Introduction to the challenge of running out of things to say in conversations
- Discusses the common problem of finding the right thing to say in social situations,
- Highlights that while content is important, it isn't everything, and the "vibe" of communication also matters.
00:59 📚 The four layers of communication explained
- Explains the concept of the four layers of communication,
- Stresses that "what you say" is the least important compared to "how you say it" and the intention behind it,
- Emphasizes the significance of pitch and tone in speech.
03:16 💡 Delving into intentions and value in communication
- Introduction of the third layer of communication: the intention behind what's said,
- Discussion about offeringvalue versus taking value in interactions,
- Illustrates how the same question can differ based on the intent behind it.
05:31 🌟 The power of deeper communication layers over surface layers
- Outlines how deeper levels of communication, like intention and self-esteem, are more powerful,
- Explains that people often focus too much on the surface layer, which leads to running out of things to say,
- Emphasizes the importance of being genuine, as deeper layers are harder to fake.
07:44 🐾 Human pre-verbal communication and emotional intelligence
- Points out that humans are pre-verbal beings, learning through feeling and emotional intelligence,
- Mentions that even in serious matters, people rely on more than just verbal content when trusting others,
- Highlights that genuine communication is rooted in non-verbal, honest signals difficult to fake.
09:17 🗣️ Embracing imperfections enhances confidence
- Lowering the expectations for what you say paradoxically boosts confidence.
- Trying to always say the "right" thing comes off as inauthentic.
- Confidence is being comfortable, even with saying unconventional things.
10:53 💡 Lowering your conversational barriers fosters connection
- Over-filtering thoughts creates a barrier in interactions.
- Being honest when you're out of words can be unexpectedly refreshing.
- Lowering conversational expectations creates a more relaxed communication atmosphere.
12:00 😂 Embracing embarrassment leads to authentic experiences
- Not fearing embarrassment encourages risk-taking and authentic living.
-Embarrassing moments often make for valuable, relatable stories.
- Seeking perfection in social interactions is less appealing than genuine experiences.
13:31 🧭 Authenticity attracts your true 'tribe'
- Being real may distance some people but attracts the right ones.
- Authenticity can lead to a challenging transformation phase, affecting existing relationships.
- True self-expression aligns you with individuals who appreciate your authenticity.
15:01 🎭 Dropping societal roles unleashes your true self
- Society often forces roles (good parent, dutiful child) that suppress individuality.
- Living these imposed roles prevents you from expressing your genuine passions and aspirations.
- Life is about living authentically, not acting through predetermined roles.
Made with HARPA AI
Really, how did you do it?
Its all about how you say it. Thats what ive been thinking about since i discovered julians videos, since he dressee like whatever yet his words are so impactful. It goes against everything we have been taught and that messee us up.
His outfit is outta pocket. I love it.
the topics you talked about are great
Thanks! Glad they connect with you!
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.
Those shoes are fkn hilarious bro😂🔥 love it
how to comment that. you had the flow to tell the truth.
I'm a pro actor by now 😂. But im dropping the mask already, and some people specially parents have been very triggered. And will continue to get triggered the more I let my true self come out. I'm ready to live, not act. That phrase really reminded me of that.
I feel like I’ve always told stories and acted as someone who has a lot of embarrassing stories or stuff happening which makes me look a little ditsy or dumb but laughing about it. Though I sometimes think maybe I do it so much I’ve made being a fool as somewhat of an identity , and I’m not comfortable with being any other way .
It really triggers me, when people fake intention. I feel that they want to trick me and kind of exploit me. Holding flowers in front hand and knife behind back
Thank you
You're welcome!
Hey Julien. First of all your content is great. Especially the last part was interesting: drop "the roles" made me think a lot. I have been dealing with this for a while now, because throughout all my life I happen to always play different roles: with my family (also I play different roles with different members of the family if that makes sense) with friends, at work, I even feel like I change in different situations during my day.....
At one hand I feel like I HAVE TO in order to maintain a certain relationship with a person and also to fit into society in a way, to stick to the group...But on the other hand I find myself a bit fake (even if I am always my true authentic self with each person I am with)
and then there is also a big part of it which makes me proud that I am so versatile, that I have so many different types of friends, who stimulate me in so many different ways, good relationships with family, etc.
The thing I worked on is: to always keep my core beliefs...they never change, even in different roles and that took a long process and hard work...
I feel extremely happy about this, but still sometimes I have the feeling of not have found myself yet and act fake.
I am extremely curious of how you feel about this and would love to know if you know an example of how to deal with this?
X
Notification Squad!🔥🔥🔥
🔥🔥🔥
10:05 They break the rules of cool which makes them cool.
This reminds me of the Hullabalooza episode of the Simpsons when Homer and Marge are trying to figure out how to be cool and can’t quite get it 😂 “it’s hip to be square!”
Love it
Glad to hear it! 🙌
I can't believe this information and wisdom is free it's changing my life as we speak and entertaining
I was there in Amsterdam, the vibe was awesome! I do wonder though, where does one get the shoes? They are awesome
Nice! Thanks for making it out in person! 🙌
Acute deciphering of social / people's behaviours . Fans from Pakistan
Glad this content resonates with you!
Where can I watch the entire speech?
I feel like I would repeat myself a lot if I said that I ran out of things to say, every time I run out of things to say. Then again you could ask, what's so bad about repeating yourself?
I loved the shoes lol
Man got the foot shoes, super cool
Where did you purchase those flippers?
Julien, you’re a fuckin awesome dude
love that❤
I think it's hard cuz my mom used to use humiliation to punish me as a child, and it made me want to never want to be embarassed.
Yup. Me too. Then becoming a ghost and people pleasure syndrome comes in. The first step to fixing it is acknowledging the cause effect
Sorry to hear. We are all fighting social conditioning.
Julian I find myself constantly having existential thoughts, It’s like I’m constantly looking at my life from a 4d perspective, how do I make it stop
I deal with this too. Not sure how to help but I hope it gets better
Man dressed like a 6th grader up late at a sleepover lmao
This is literally me 😔
Silk robes and kimonos. This is the guy. 🤣
Julien sunglasses main ruin you vision if u rock them all the time
I want those shoes for Christmas lol
😂
What shoes?
This man's teaching makes Varsity look like kindergarten
I told someone I like banana milk. And they told me they don’t give a fuck. 😂😂
They are the uncool ones
I mean, it's banana milk, what can be cooler than that
WHAT IF WE HAVE AUSTISM? It's no so easy when were setup to fail socially. I might fake it and sound articulate, smart, normal, friendly one second then asd and adhd ugly head buts in and i interrupt or my brain simply short circuits. I studder, pause, say things that don't make sense, or i simply give up half away of what i was trying to say
Ok...ok..but whyyy are you dressed like that??😂😂
I always had this one question in mind!!
Just bee urself 🐝🐝🐝
i have to get one of those shirts
Bro chose to wear the “I don’t care about your opinion” outfit when he woke up this morning.
This could be a perfect comedy spoof. Lol
Que tênis de Hobit is this ? 😂 where can i find um desses para mim usar? 😂