My internalized biphobia/confusion abt sexuality: what if ur just straight and faking it for attention or smth? Me: what? My internalized biphobia/confusion: what if ur just gay and you have internalized homophobia and comphet? Me: cries and just avoids labeling myself
i feel exactly like this, it took me a while coming to terms with being bi bc i kept telling myself that i was doing it for attention (which is so dumb bc literally no one but myself knew about it for over a year), and still to this day it can happen sometimes, for ex; i'll try to "test" myself by looking at girls and if i don't find them attractive then i question myself (as if I have to be attracted to every girl which is such a damn stupid idea but hhhH that's internalized biphobia for you) also recently i spent a few days thinking that i was actually a lesbian after reading abt comp het bc i related to it a lot and barely find men attractive as i do with women and when i tell you the fear i felt man, it brought out some internalized homophobia that i didn't know i had. i think for me sexuality is something fluid, as for now i'm comfortable with calling myself bi, but i've spent such a long time questioning myself bc of all of those things, it's kinda frustrating
Growing up, my family/friends would say “ew” or make gagging noises when they saw gay couples, so now as a wlw I still struggle with feeling like a “gross predator” for having crushes on girls, even though I’ve been out for a couple years. :( It sucks.
I see the same thing in lesbian and bi women not wanting to be masculine - i never got the short hair cut i wanted because i didnt want to be THAT gay girl.
Totally agree! I had the same struggle. But I do get the haircut. And believe me, it's been a rollercoaster. Some days I felt great and empowered but other days I just looked on the internet for hairstyles to make my haircut more feminine. Ugh... It's been rough (even more if I add the biphobia) , but let's keep fighting it, girl.
@@lachicaarte you don‘t have to fight your internalized homophobia you should integrate it. It‘s not a part of you that needs to be fought it‘s a part of you that needs to be loved. Remember your internalized homophobia is not intending to cause you harm. It‘s intention is to prevent you from being judged by judging you before someone else can so you act accordingly and avoid being judged. Fighting it only makes it worse. Try to understand where it‘s coming from and confront it with compassion.
it has taken me so long to finally realize and accept the fact that i'm a lesbian because i'd always think that any feelings i had towards a guy was romantic, but then when i'd actually go a date with the guy or he'd flirt with me i'd be so grossed out and uncomfortable
I love this. I think it's important to remember that in cases like Cameron's internal homophobia is actually rooted in misogyny and hatred of the feminine.
Hey! I’m straight, and if you’re reading this please know that I support you and will always try my best to educate myself on how to be an ally in the best way.
i’m a straight too (unfortunately) but i completely support lgbtqia+ and love every single one of you, and i try my best to educate people that don’t think of everyone as equal human beings. love is love ❤️
I've only realised in that last month or so that (as a wlw) I see wlw relationships as "less real" than mlm or straight relationships. When I see 2 girls obviously dating I will sometimes dismiss them as just "close friends" (which is ridiculous). I'm only 14 so I guess I might grow out of it but I know I need to be better. Thank you for the video!
It's okay, as you said, you'll grow out of it. And if you realize what you do you can correct yourself in your head, even say it out loud if it helps, and in the end it will become a habit. It might take time, my girlfriend and I are 21 and she still struggles with this, while I have a lot of doubts about my own attractions (the "am I really into girls or is it to attract attention?" thing). Don't worry, weather you are in our community or an ally, you're gonna be ok ♥
me too !! and then i feel so bad because im more 'accepting' of mlm relationships, and i wonder whether im just a straight girl pretending to be gay so i can fetishize mlms.
i’m bi as well, and same :( people can’t wrap their mind around the concept that someone can be attracted to both men AND women, the biphobia is y i k e s
High key bi men are the most oppressed whereas lesbians and bisexual women seem to be completely accepted by society at this point and that’s probably due to the over-sexualization of women in media and just the patriarchy in general sadly
@@pearlspacejam8639This. As a guy I honestly just find it easier to tell people I’m gay because most people get the binary straight/gay/lesbian narrative as opposed to bi. Although my attractions definitely lean more towards men, I can’t deny I still feel sexually attracted to women, so I do feel guilty every time I say I’m just gay. Classic biphobia in my head of ‘your attraction to women aren’t real, you’re just denying being completely gay’ and ‘not straight enough for the straights, not gay enough for the gays’ sort of thing :(
I'll never forget my friend in high school turned to me randomly & said "i don't think gay people should be able to get married" & i was so confused. He later came out as gay, it's heart breaking to reflect on how much self hatred he must have had to say that
I remember when I found out what gay meant when I was about 13 and how long it took me to accept it as a label for my self. My grandma once had a talk with me saying she didn't like people lying and I immediately went to my room and broke down because I felt like I was lying to her by not telling her I was gay, I remember the times where I'd cry my self to sleep asking my self why I was gay and why couldn't I be "normal" (straight...). It was awful and I am glad that I'm in a much better place with my sexuality now.
when I was 7 I had a friend who has lesbian moms and I thought it was so cool that they cool kiss and I would think to myself "I wish I could kiss girls too, too bad I can't :(" but when I finally realized that I could, it was terrifying and I was like "this is so cool for other people, but I can't" it sucks to accept other people, but hate yourself for the same thing
as a lesbian, i’ll judge myself for being both too masculine (maybe the butch people i’m attracted to won’t like me) and too feminine (i look like i’m wearing a straight-person costume). i’m working on expressing my genuine self without these worries that are, in the end, all in my head!
I came out as a lesbian 10 years ago and I have made huge progress in being out and proud since then, but sometimes I still struggle with internalized homophobia even in the most silly little things. Like recently I bought my first car and I am so excited I wanted to decorate it with a rainbow flag sticker, then I stopped myself from buying it because it would be "too much" and "what will other people (aka the straights) think?" Thank you for this video, now I am definitely gonna buy that rainbow sticker.
I feel you. I have these really cute little rainbow pins, for like a backpack or a jean jacket, and I've never worn them. My mom bought them for me (she feels really sorry that I still don't have a girlfriend I think lol), and that was so sweet of her, and I love them. But I don't wanna be *that* gay, you know? What are the straights gonna think? Specifically the straight guys?
this video is so accurate, i feel attacked. honestly as a bi/pan woman i feel like a perv when showing interest in other women, like i’m disrespecting them and they’ll see me as a freak... yayyy ✨sound effect of kids cheering✨
me: *has finally come to completely accept my sexuality* also me: *is extremely confused about my gender identity but too scared to try and figure it out*
The moment I learned to deal with internalized homophobia and transphobia, was the moment I finally learned to accept myself fully. The feeling of "Im not THAT kind of trans, or Im not THAT kind of gay" is so real and unlearning that self destructive mindset is healing
This video made me remember my freshman year of high school when I got constantly made fun by this one guy. Everyone thought he was gay but he always denied it. Eventually he did come out as gay. For a long time I never understood what his motivation was for bothering me, but it makes sense now. He was just looking for a freak to feel superior to. Obviously that doesn't make what he did okay, but I'm so glad I can finally understand where he might have been coming from. Thank you.
Just wanted you to know that 1) you’re a catch and any man would be lucky to have you, and 2) I always make sure to open CZcams and like your vids after watching them on insta cuz I’m too lazy to sign in to CZcams again via Insta...but you deserve the 👍🏼
Hi Matt! I'm a straight person that comes from a Christian family. I'm doing my best to educate myself on what LGBTQ+ members struggle with and how I can help advocate for equality. Thank you for sharing, I'm sure it's not easy!
thank you so much for talking abt this, god, internalised homophobia can be so fucking tiring but also i just wanted to say that you have such a soothing voice that you could say literally anything and id still listen
honestly this is so relatable... when i first figured out my feelings, I just pushed them away and put down my tomboyish side to be more feminine to seem straight to other people. it was probably to seem straight to myself as well... its sad how much internalized homophobia is caused by today's unaccepting society.
technically 97% of people are straight so I think that it would be normal if most of the people around you were straight. You would actually be lucky if everyone around you was gay.
I'm sorry this happened to you. My mum said the same thing when I came out as a lesbian she was like "no you are not" and completely dismissed it. I was really hurt and felt invalidated at the beginning but with time I learned that my sexuality is real and valid and it doesn't matter what other people think, no one can know how i feel better than myself, and my mum is no exception.
very important things i've learned from this video: 1) wanting to change/evolve the way i dress to express myself is not being "too gay" or "unnecessarily over the top" and i shouldn't say that to myself 2) i like this guy and i like his makeup and i think i'll subscribe
You literally appeared in my life at the perfect time to make me realise that I should stop fighting myself and stop upholding the internalised homophobia/biphobia I have and this fear of femininity that came from a childhood of being called girly, a sissy and denied my gender. I am a man but I've always been attracted to things that are stereotypically seen as feminine. Seeing someone like you that makes me start to believe I could be myself truly is heartwarming. I've honestly had a wild journey and I'm just happy to see myself getting closer to who I truly am. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day/week/month/year!
Once I was out with my ex- boyfriend and we were sitting at a park... And we were just sitting there not really talking and all of a sudden he starts laughing and I obviously look at him, like why was he laughing... And that's when I see what he was laughing at... So a gay couple just passed by us and they were holding hands and just talking to each other and he was laughing at them... Bcs they were a gay couple... when I say I WAS PISSED...oof... Like that really rubbed me the wrong way about him and shortly after I broke up with him ( thank god I did) ...
I relate to this as a bisexual (took me so long to accept that I'm way more attracted to women than men), but also as someone on the spectrum? I've spent my entire 36 year old life trying to figure out how to fit into a neurotypical world, how to "pass" as someone without autism, but I'm finally getting to the point where it's just too exhausting and I'd rather be with someone who accepts me as I am, or not be with them at all. They don't love me for me if I'm constantly having to put on an act just to keep them happy.
this is such a mood and a struggle, i actually used to think that being gay was a choice LOL and as someone who is bi i suppressed it so much but still knew i was bi but “chose” not to be.... funny now that i finally came out HAHA
THANK YOU. Thank you for talking about this. It is so, so important to be open about this share experiences. I realized that I'm a trans boy and then that I'm gay a few month ago and I struggle with both internalized trans- and homophobia. So again thank you so fucking much for talking about it. ❤
idk for some reason your videos feel so warm and comforting even though you often talk about heavy topics.. i sometimes watch them when i feel down and they always make me feel so much better..keep up the amazing-ass work :))))
I really appreciate your videos! I am not part of the lgbtqia+ community but im working towards trying to be a better ally. I think your videos are able to help me to kind of put myself in another persons shoes! Thx for being you🥰
your videos are about topics that make me very angry and sad, like anti-lgbtq+ stuff, but somehow you make me even calmer because you use all the good arguments and touch on everything so constructively and your arguments are thought thru
Nails Any way 😂 I don’t know when I realized I was bisexual, I’ve always been attracted to girls the same way I was attracted to boys, but I was so unaware of my own feelings or attraction, that I considered myself as ace for a long time. I’ve also dealt with internalized and externalized homophobia because I grew up in a somewhat crappy environment. It’s something I’ve been fighting with myself for a long time. It took me 21 years to admit to myself I’m not straight, and that’s ok. There’s many people out there like me, it’s not something we can control. At 23 years now, I’m not trying to hide it anymore, occasionally I do panic and worry what others think, and there are certain people I will probably never come out to, but I’ve worked on accepting myself and others.
This is why it was kind of easy for me to come out as a trans man, but very difficult to come out as a gay trans man, because of what my dad said about gay trans men and how they should “stay straight women” and that fucked me up.
Thank you very much for this video, Matt. I'm a lurker and i'm in the closet in real life, but I'm demisexual and panromantic and even while i'm getting close to my 30s, I've been strongly questioning my gender identity. I've had a lot of struggles with wanting to fit in where ever I went, but I think I hurt myself with my own Acephobia more than I've actually faced it from other people. As a result, I've messed up so much. There's so many arguments I regret having, there's so many times where I wish I had stopped and asked myself, "why am I judging this person? Why am I arguing with this person? Why am I picking this fight?" Every single time, it was because of some sort of shame I still held. I was angry today from something that I saw, and I was ready to go to twitter and rant about it. But it's not worth it.
I could listen to you talk about anything for hours, you're explaining all the stuff so good and there's still a lot of positivity even if it's a topic like this. Thank you.
I'm so blessed with the fact that I'm aloof af and sometimes completely detached from reality so I developed a healthy amount of scepticism very early. Growing up as a minority I instinctively understood the point of prejudice and how not to have it. Having a homosexual experience at the age of 13 also helped. I'm also blessed having parents who were super chill about most things although they were strict. They weren't necessarily woke but I'm sure they knew I was... different so they just let me be, let me figure it out on my own. God, I gotta call my parents now.
i'm so glad you made this video bc it sucks so much and nobody talks about it. i really struggled with it last year and i've got to understand and accept myself now :)
Love this,, this is a very real thing... though I normally like looking gay,, sometimes I get a little insecure like... ‘ugh I look too much like a “lesbian” ‘
I've struggled with this shit for years, even after I came out. I've been trying to learn as much as I can and be better over the past year and this video is LIFE-CHANGING. Wish I had better influences growing up. Unlearning something that is so radically internalised is hard. But I'm trying... Thanks Matt ❤️
Oh my god, Matt, thank you so much. I've been thinking about this within myself a lot lately (especially being raised Catholic), and this video validated those feelings so much and is helping me address this homophobia in how I treat myself an others. I cried a bit during this video. It was a good cry. Thank you so much for being involved in this community in the ways you are, you're amazing
the way you were so well spoken about this!! like yeah i know what it is but when you speak about it it’s so clear. you deserve all the coffee in the world
your voice and way of speaking and topic of conversation and maybe the fact that I'm watching this in the middle of the night makes this video feel like such an intimate friendly chat, I'm loving this so much
(This is my experience)I never really had internal homophobia, I was always and still am, in the mind space of not wanting to fit in with the idea of masc. I never wanted to fit in with the crowd. I have long hair, wear makeup and heels also dresses fitting in just isn’t my style. On another note men only want to be with me if I have a full face on, high voice and feminine qualities. But no man has ever given me the time of day because I am feminine because I am who I am every single day. So I understand the struggle almost completely, just not the internal-homophobia because I never went through that.
i love u so much king. literally started painting my nails (badly) halfway thru even tho i gotta go out in like 5 mins but gays are always l8 so i know all my friends will be late too so like. we stay winning either way
THIS! I'm a bi cis-woman, but I've struggled with fully owning it in my life because of certain stigmas. Btw, you're so pretty, and so well spoken. I'm so happy I clicked
this video was amazing 🥺 i literally love your content so so much and i think you're an amazing person. during the past few months you've educated me a lot and helped me come to terms with myself more than before. today i was finally brave enough to come out to my parents and i'm so happy i did it. once again, thank you so much, i hope you're having the best day 🥺
Love this. This needs to be discussed more. I didn’t realise just how much I had been internalising. It’s really affected my life and relationships. Thanks.
The calm way you described this topic and how down to earth you are made this video extremely easy to watch. You are amazing. You just gained another subscriber.
use me as a "grindr video YES" button
any video YES i just love matt content
Yessss
@@al22j trueee
I wanna like it but it's currently at 666 likes and I wouldn't want to change that
@@maelawanledantecgaussen756 i think satan wants the video too o.o
“Let’s go make some coffee and talk about why we hate ourselves” MOOD
IMMEDIATELY called out wow
Me to my demons at 3am
Hi everyone I wrote a song called *Bi Myself* it is about me coming out!
Can you give it a listen It would mean the world to me🦄💕
Mood
me: * reads title...slowly nods *
Hahahahaah me tho
My internalized biphobia/confusion abt sexuality: what if ur just straight and faking it for attention or smth?
Me: what?
My internalized biphobia/confusion: what if ur just gay and you have internalized homophobia and comphet?
Me: cries and just avoids labeling myself
The 1st one is me sometimes ngl
Yayy same here high five ✋
No the 2nd one too ew 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹🤢
oh noooo im exactly like that toooo ;(
i feel exactly like this, it took me a while coming to terms with being bi bc i kept telling myself that i was doing it for attention (which is so dumb bc literally no one but myself knew about it for over a year), and still to this day it can happen sometimes, for ex; i'll try to "test" myself by looking at girls and if i don't find them attractive then i question myself (as if I have to be attracted to every girl which is such a damn stupid idea but hhhH that's internalized biphobia for you)
also recently i spent a few days thinking that i was actually a lesbian after reading abt comp het bc i related to it a lot and barely find men attractive as i do with women and when i tell you the fear i felt man, it brought out some internalized homophobia that i didn't know i had.
i think for me sexuality is something fluid, as for now i'm comfortable with calling myself bi, but i've spent such a long time questioning myself bc of all of those things, it's kinda frustrating
someone get this man on ted talks
someone*
Yesssssssss
ooo cute profile pic
Hi everyone I wrote a song called *Bi Myself* it is about me coming out!
Can you give it a listen It would mean the world to me🦄💕
Please
i will be ignoring all symptoms of internalised homophobia and comp het for now ty very much 😍👍
pain
M e t o o
Spain but the s is silent
Booooo!!!
Same 💛👏🏻
"I want a guy to like me...i eventually wanna get married...and have kids🙊🙊"
My heart melted
same 🥺
KSBSJS SAME omg 🥺🥰
9:40 i think he'd make a great parent
It really does suck, as a lesbian I had this for such a long time and I finally came to accept myself which I’m so happy about🥰🥺
right it's so painful to have to discover yourself and learn that you are not lesser bc of it
@@haileypenny5893 Agreed on a whole other level. It’s a very painful process. And can lead to harmful circumstances.
I'm so happy for you!
Growing up, my family/friends would say “ew” or make gagging noises when they saw gay couples, so now as a wlw I still struggle with feeling like a “gross predator” for having crushes on girls, even though I’ve been out for a couple years. :( It sucks.
I’m still struggling to except myself and be open about it, I still have homophobic thoughts every now and then and I hate it!
Starbucks guy wasn't even that flamboyant? Like what are they making fun of? Telling them to have a good day lol?
Is being a decent human being gay???
Fellas, is it gay to be good at customer service
his voice i think??
Love your profile pic
I see the same thing in lesbian and bi women not wanting to be masculine - i never got the short hair cut i wanted because i didnt want to be THAT gay girl.
Totally agree! I had the same struggle. But I do get the haircut. And believe me, it's been a rollercoaster. Some days I felt great and empowered but other days I just looked on the internet for hairstyles to make my haircut more feminine. Ugh... It's been rough (even more if I add the biphobia) , but let's keep fighting it, girl.
as a lesbian who got the haircut i just wanna say it is so worth it
@@lachicaarte you don‘t have to fight your internalized homophobia you should integrate it. It‘s not a part of you that needs to be fought it‘s a part of you that needs to be loved. Remember your internalized homophobia is not intending to cause you harm. It‘s intention is to prevent you from being judged by judging you before someone else can so you act accordingly and avoid being judged. Fighting it only makes it worse. Try to understand where it‘s coming from and confront it with compassion.
@@disconnected9765 thank you so much! 🥺
I like it when people rock their short hair
thank you for talking about this! i don't see a lot of people talking about this :(
^^^
it has taken me so long to finally realize and accept the fact that i'm a lesbian because i'd always think that any feelings i had towards a guy was romantic, but then when i'd actually go a date with the guy or he'd flirt with me i'd be so grossed out and uncomfortable
same. i would like full on convince myself that i was in love with guys, but flirting and stuff disgusted me
im so proud of you! i struggled with the same things, but just remember you are you and how you feel is valid
Oh god same..
S A M E
So you never dated a guy who didn't flirt...sad!
A lot of the time I think that I’m just a straight girl trying to be interesting and that my crushes on women (I’m bi) aren’t valid.
you are valid! it doesn't matter what anyone else says, and I know it's hard to accept yourself, but you are so incredibly valid
Omg same
Same😔
Same 😺
@Take The L _ alright man. 😂
matt making his coffee is what keeps me sane.
I love this. I think it's important to remember that in cases like Cameron's internal homophobia is actually rooted in misogyny and hatred of the feminine.
Hey! I’m straight, and if you’re reading this please know that I support you and will always try my best to educate myself on how to be an ally in the best way.
i’m a straight too (unfortunately) but i completely support lgbtqia+ and love every single one of you, and i try my best to educate people that don’t think of everyone as equal human beings. love is love ❤️
that’s on period
🥺 love that
Love that ❤❤❤
Thank you hun❤️
I've only realised in that last month or so that (as a wlw) I see wlw relationships as "less real" than mlm or straight relationships. When I see 2 girls obviously dating I will sometimes dismiss them as just "close friends" (which is ridiculous). I'm only 14 so I guess I might grow out of it but I know I need to be better. Thank you for the video!
It's okay, as you said, you'll grow out of it. And if you realize what you do you can correct yourself in your head, even say it out loud if it helps, and in the end it will become a habit.
It might take time, my girlfriend and I are 21 and she still struggles with this, while I have a lot of doubts about my own attractions (the "am I really into girls or is it to attract attention?" thing). Don't worry, weather you are in our community or an ally, you're gonna be ok ♥
me too !! and then i feel so bad because im more 'accepting' of mlm relationships, and i wonder whether im just a straight girl pretending to be gay so i can fetishize mlms.
@@paulp8028 same here!! Ugh I gotta work on it I know it’s just my brain being silly 😂👍🏻
I’m also 14 and realized I’m bi. To be fair I’ve never kissed a guy or a girl
@@paigedevine5796 neither have I. we're both valid as hell xox
matt i’m a lesbian but you’re still the loml😩
What does loml mean
@@emilian7052 Love of my life
@@emilian7052 love of my life
@@evien190 okay thx
@SkinnyThicc Legend not really lol
"let's go make coffee and talk about why we hate ourselves" is the gayest intro ever and I love it
i’m bi and still suffer from the internalized biphobia - always thinking i’m faking it or i’m not really bi and it hurts.
i’m bi as well, and same :( people can’t wrap their mind around the concept that someone can be attracted to both men AND women, the biphobia is y i k e s
High key bi men are the most oppressed whereas lesbians and bisexual women seem to be completely accepted by society at this point and that’s probably due to the over-sexualization of women in media and just the patriarchy in general sadly
@@pearlspacejam8639This. As a guy I honestly just find it easier to tell people I’m gay because most people get the binary straight/gay/lesbian narrative as opposed to bi. Although my attractions definitely lean more towards men, I can’t deny I still feel sexually attracted to women, so I do feel guilty every time I say I’m just gay. Classic biphobia in my head of ‘your attraction to women aren’t real, you’re just denying being completely gay’ and ‘not straight enough for the straights, not gay enough for the gays’ sort of thing :(
@@chrisd3637 honestly just tell them you’re bi because it’s who you are. Don’t let people’s ignorance affect how you define yourself.
I'm lesbian and I'm still struggling
where are my religious traumatized individuals at 🤩🤩🤩
I’m here bitch✨✨✨✨✨
yesss we stan religious trauma 😻
You summoned me? But not like a demon of course as that is wrong 🙏😜🙄
hellooooo
here 😌
Shoutout to all my amazing straight friends who have told me that I "really don't look gay" and that it's "a good thing"... You're really helping....
I can relate 😂😂
oof I'm sorry you had to go through that :(
I'll never forget my friend in high school turned to me randomly & said "i don't think gay people should be able to get married" & i was so confused. He later came out as gay, it's heart breaking to reflect on how much self hatred he must have had to say that
is there no sip 4 me :((
If you follow his Insta, he does sips 4 you almost every day. It makes me so happy and it’s about the only thing keeping me sane
I remember when I found out what gay meant when I was about 13 and how long it took me to accept it as a label for my self. My grandma once had a talk with me saying she didn't like people lying and I immediately went to my room and broke down because I felt like I was lying to her by not telling her I was gay, I remember the times where I'd cry my self to sleep asking my self why I was gay and why couldn't I be "normal" (straight...).
It was awful and I am glad that I'm in a much better place with my sexuality now.
I'm happy you feel better about yourself ♥
@@paulp8028 Thank you! It's not easy but it's nice to be in the place that I am now!
when I was 7 I had a friend who has lesbian moms and I thought it was so cool that they cool kiss and I would think to myself "I wish I could kiss girls too, too bad I can't :(" but when I finally realized that I could, it was terrifying and I was like "this is so cool for other people, but I can't" it sucks to accept other people, but hate yourself for the same thing
brainwashed by devils when you were only 7 you never stood a chance
>lesbian moms
quite the oxymoron
GAHHH I'M SO EARLY. I've been binging gay youtube to procrastinate writing a coming out letter to my mom
Go you, boo!
hey you'll do great!! live your truth bb, we're all here to support you
rania (beautiful name btw) we love you, you are strong and amazing, don’t forget that
i wish you luck!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
@@olliebriggsies thank you!
my parents were the parents like "we love gays! unless its our kids
"I hate myself lol"
Finally some relatable content
It's like you knew I was gay deprived. Also thank you for the frothy sips in the morning
i feel like u would be the best parent ever.
as a lesbian, i’ll judge myself for being both too masculine (maybe the butch people i’m attracted to won’t like me) and too feminine (i look like i’m wearing a straight-person costume). i’m working on expressing my genuine self without these worries that are, in the end, all in my head!
I came out as a lesbian 10 years ago and I have made huge progress in being out and proud since then, but sometimes I still struggle with internalized homophobia even in the most silly little things. Like recently I bought my first car and I am so excited I wanted to decorate it with a rainbow flag sticker, then I stopped myself from buying it because it would be "too much" and "what will other people (aka the straights) think?" Thank you for this video, now I am definitely gonna buy that rainbow sticker.
I feel you. I have these really cute little rainbow pins, for like a backpack or a jean jacket, and I've never worn them. My mom bought them for me (she feels really sorry that I still don't have a girlfriend I think lol), and that was so sweet of her, and I love them.
But I don't wanna be *that* gay, you know? What are the straights gonna think? Specifically the straight guys?
this video is so accurate, i feel attacked. honestly as a bi/pan woman i feel like a perv when showing interest in other women, like i’m disrespecting them and they’ll see me as a freak... yayyy
✨sound effect of kids cheering✨
me too me too me too. it feels awful
@@katespaulding4563 ikr 😭
Oh god, that's sad :(
me: *has finally come to completely accept my sexuality*
also me: *is extremely confused about my gender identity but too scared to try and figure it out*
I feel you!
its quite simple you were either born a boy or a girl
The moment I learned to deal with internalized homophobia and transphobia, was the moment I finally learned to accept myself fully. The feeling of "Im not THAT kind of trans, or Im not THAT kind of gay" is so real and unlearning that self destructive mindset is healing
this is great
i hope cameron see's this and thinks about it a little
This video made me remember my freshman year of high school when I got constantly made fun by this one guy. Everyone thought he was gay but he always denied it. Eventually he did come out as gay. For a long time I never understood what his motivation was for bothering me, but it makes sense now. He was just looking for a freak to feel superior to. Obviously that doesn't make what he did okay, but I'm so glad I can finally understand where he might have been coming from. Thank you.
king im crying omg :'( this video is so important to me wow
thank you for speaking about this! i love your content soo much 💗
I'm writing an essay on internalized homophobia and this was really helpful because I was struggling to address my own internalized homophobia :)
wow, that's the coolest assignment ever
@@justarandomgirllol7428 i got an 81% on it but that's just because I suck at essay structure and grammar :P but it was really interesting to write
you people make up new words every day lol this "internalized homophobia" is your body telling you to quit this sodomy and be normal again
Just wanted you to know that 1) you’re a catch and any man would be lucky to have you, and 2) I always make sure to open CZcams and like your vids after watching them on insta cuz I’m too lazy to sign in to CZcams again via Insta...but you deserve the 👍🏼
Hi Matt! I'm a straight person that comes from a Christian family. I'm doing my best to educate myself on what LGBTQ+ members struggle with and how I can help advocate for equality. Thank you for sharing, I'm sure it's not easy!
dont even say youre christian while also defending sodomy you heretical man stop this and read your bible
thank you so much for talking abt this, god, internalised homophobia can be so fucking tiring
but also i just wanted to say that you have such a soothing voice that you could say literally anything and id still listen
honestly this is so relatable... when i first figured out my feelings, I just pushed them away and put down my tomboyish side to be more feminine to seem straight to other people. it was probably to seem straight to myself as well... its sad how much internalized homophobia is caused by today's unaccepting society.
the ability of which he speaks is incredibly well spoken and eloquent but his voice is also so calm 🥺 asmr but make it social justice
I struggled a lot with internalised homophobia so yep. It does suck XD
do you also have homophobic jokes slip out at times? I gotta know.
Oh good, there was far too much straight in my life. I needed some gay.
technically 97% of people are straight so I think that it would be normal if most of the people around you were straight. You would actually be lucky if everyone around you was gay.
matt has such a vibe. we love u 💗
when I had my first coming out at like 12 (Go me) my mom said "No you´re not gay". That´s where the spiral started for me luvs
it's like I know how I feel but go ahead tell me more about myself ig
I'm sorry this happened to you. My mum said the same thing when I came out as a lesbian she was like "no you are not" and completely dismissed it. I was really hurt and felt invalidated at the beginning but with time I learned that my sexuality is real and valid and it doesn't matter what other people think, no one can know how i feel better than myself, and my mum is no exception.
retweet a million times
very important things i've learned from this video:
1) wanting to change/evolve the way i dress to express myself is not being "too gay" or "unnecessarily over the top" and i shouldn't say that to myself
2) i like this guy and i like his makeup and i think i'll subscribe
watching this as i’m having a mental breakdown again 🥰🥰 love being confused and depressed
You literally appeared in my life at the perfect time to make me realise that I should stop fighting myself and stop upholding the internalised homophobia/biphobia I have and this fear of femininity that came from a childhood of being called girly, a sissy and denied my gender. I am a man but I've always been attracted to things that are stereotypically seen as feminine. Seeing someone like you that makes me start to believe I could be myself truly is heartwarming. I've honestly had a wild journey and I'm just happy to see myself getting closer to who I truly am. Thank you and I hope you have a wonderful day/week/month/year!
Once I was out with my ex- boyfriend and we were sitting at a park... And we were just sitting there not really talking and all of a sudden he starts laughing and I obviously look at him, like why was he laughing... And that's when I see what he was laughing at... So a gay couple just passed by us and they were holding hands and just talking to each other and he was laughing at them... Bcs they were a gay couple... when I say I WAS PISSED...oof... Like that really rubbed me the wrong way about him and shortly after I broke up with him ( thank god I did) ...
I relate to this as a bisexual (took me so long to accept that I'm way more attracted to women than men), but also as someone on the spectrum? I've spent my entire 36 year old life trying to figure out how to fit into a neurotypical world, how to "pass" as someone without autism, but I'm finally getting to the point where it's just too exhausting and I'd rather be with someone who accepts me as I am, or not be with them at all. They don't love me for me if I'm constantly having to put on an act just to keep them happy.
this is such a mood and a struggle, i actually used to think that being gay was a choice LOL and as someone who is bi i suppressed it so much but still knew i was bi but “chose” not to be.... funny now that i finally came out HAHA
I’ve finally started to see femininity as confidence, definitely have tiktok and consuming loads of LGBTQ media over quarantine to thank for that 🙌🏻
Yes! :D
Matt and coffee, coffee and Matt...perfect couple
THANK YOU. Thank you for talking about this. It is so, so important to be open about this share experiences. I realized that I'm a trans boy and then that I'm gay a few month ago and I struggle with both internalized trans- and homophobia. So again thank you so fucking much for talking about it. ❤
*comment about the nails*
*Comments on this comment with something extraordinarily funny and refreshing*
idk for some reason your videos feel so warm and comforting even though you often talk about heavy topics.. i sometimes watch them when i feel down and they always make me feel so much better..keep up the amazing-ass work :))))
I really appreciate your videos! I am not part of the lgbtqia+ community but im working towards trying to be a better ally. I think your videos are able to help me to kind of put myself in another persons shoes! Thx for being you🥰
aw u are very appreciated 🥰
@@belflor 💞💞
just noticed the 'women don't owe you pretty' book in the back!!! I've been wanting to read that
The fact that Matt posted this vid exactly a year after I came out to both of my siblings just blows my mind. Love you, Matt. 💜💜💜💜
Happy Coming out! I hope it went good! (In either cases, you are loved ♥)
@@paulp8028 Aww, thank you so much. It went really great. 😊😊😊
your videos are about topics that make me very angry and sad, like anti-lgbtq+ stuff, but somehow you make me even calmer because you use all the good arguments and touch on everything so constructively and your arguments are thought thru
wtf why is your voice so comfortable to listen to? I love it? like I could listen to you talk about anything for hours and be happy with the world ?
Americans be like "let's make some coffee" then drink cold sweet milk
(lots of gay love to you though)
Agdhfkkty so true
You NEED to do a video on Grindr!
i can’t express how much i love what matt does
y'all rmb that scene in love, simon where simon does this fantasy rainbow dance break thing and goes "not THAT gay",,
Nails
Any way 😂 I don’t know when I realized I was bisexual, I’ve always been attracted to girls the same way I was attracted to boys, but I was so unaware of my own feelings or attraction, that I considered myself as ace for a long time. I’ve also dealt with internalized and externalized homophobia because I grew up in a somewhat crappy environment. It’s something I’ve been fighting with myself for a long time. It took me 21 years to admit to myself I’m not straight, and that’s ok. There’s many people out there like me, it’s not something we can control. At 23 years now, I’m not trying to hide it anymore, occasionally I do panic and worry what others think, and there are certain people I will probably never come out to, but I’ve worked on accepting myself and others.
Thanks so much for this Video
This is why it was kind of easy for me to come out as a trans man, but very difficult to come out as a gay trans man, because of what my dad said about gay trans men and how they should “stay straight women” and that fucked me up.
Thank you very much for this video, Matt. I'm a lurker and i'm in the closet in real life, but I'm demisexual and panromantic and even while i'm getting close to my 30s, I've been strongly questioning my gender identity. I've had a lot of struggles with wanting to fit in where ever I went, but I think I hurt myself with my own Acephobia more than I've actually faced it from other people. As a result, I've messed up so much. There's so many arguments I regret having, there's so many times where I wish I had stopped and asked myself, "why am I judging this person? Why am I arguing with this person? Why am I picking this fight?" Every single time, it was because of some sort of shame I still held. I was angry today from something that I saw, and I was ready to go to twitter and rant about it. But it's not worth it.
*me literally never planning on coming out*
The plan is to just ✨vanish✨
@@jayjabrams6094 yess queen
You explained this so beautifully well. Thank you for educating others and making it honest and funny and eye-opening all at the same time :)
I could listen to you talk about anything for hours, you're explaining all the stuff so good and there's still a lot of positivity even if it's a topic like this. Thank you.
thank you so much for making this! I was pausing and talking about how spot on everything was the entire video❤️
I'm so blessed with the fact that I'm aloof af and sometimes completely detached from reality so I developed a healthy amount of scepticism very early. Growing up as a minority I instinctively understood the point of prejudice and how not to have it. Having a homosexual experience at the age of 13 also helped. I'm also blessed having parents who were super chill about most things although they were strict. They weren't necessarily woke but I'm sure they knew I was... different so they just let me be, let me figure it out on my own. God, I gotta call my parents now.
i'm so glad you made this video bc it sucks so much and nobody talks about it. i really struggled with it last year and i've got to understand and accept myself now :)
"and have kids 🤭"
🥰BRUH THAT WAS SO CUTE
Love this,, this is a very real thing... though I normally like looking gay,, sometimes I get a little insecure like... ‘ugh I look too much like a “lesbian” ‘
Same... sometimes its the opposite for me too, sometimes i feel to fem & want to feel more masculine / cold instead. Ugh
I've struggled with this shit for years, even after I came out. I've been trying to learn as much as I can and be better over the past year and this video is LIFE-CHANGING. Wish I had better influences growing up. Unlearning something that is so radically internalised is hard. But I'm trying... Thanks Matt ❤️
Oh my god, Matt, thank you so much. I've been thinking about this within myself a lot lately (especially being raised Catholic), and this video validated those feelings so much and is helping me address this homophobia in how I treat myself an others. I cried a bit during this video. It was a good cry. Thank you so much for being involved in this community in the ways you are, you're amazing
the way you were so well spoken about this!! like yeah i know what it is but when you speak about it it’s so clear. you deserve all the coffee in the world
your voice and way of speaking and topic of conversation and maybe the fact that I'm watching this in the middle of the night makes this video feel like such an intimate friendly chat, I'm loving this so much
Matt has turned into my favourite youtuber in only 2 months... wow
i love this video. it made me cry several times also i love the aesthetic of your room
(This is my experience)I never really had internal homophobia, I was always and still am, in the mind space of not wanting to fit in with the idea of masc. I never wanted to fit in with the crowd. I have long hair, wear makeup and heels also dresses fitting in just isn’t my style.
On another note men only want to be with me if I have a full face on, high voice and feminine qualities. But no man has ever given me the time of day because I am feminine because I am who I am every single day. So I understand the struggle almost completely, just not the internal-homophobia because I never went through that.
ahh i love you so so much! you're such a great inspiration and have such an amazing influence on the world!💖
i love u so much king. literally started painting my nails (badly) halfway thru even tho i gotta go out in like 5 mins but gays are always l8 so i know all my friends will be late too so like. we stay winning either way
THIS!
I'm a bi cis-woman, but I've struggled with fully owning it in my life because of certain stigmas.
Btw, you're so pretty, and so well spoken. I'm so happy I clicked
THE LITTLE NOISE U MADE WHEN U REMEMBERED UR NAILS😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I’ve replayed 12 times matt I’m SCREAMING sorry
I use to not follow creators who were anything not m or f lmao. Then i came out as non binary and oop
this video was amazing 🥺 i literally love your content so so much and i think you're an amazing person. during the past few months you've educated me a lot and helped me come to terms with myself more than before. today i was finally brave enough to come out to my parents and i'm so happy i did it. once again, thank you so much, i hope you're having the best day 🥺
I’m still not out because I’m getting over my extreme internalized homophobia 😭
Love this. This needs to be discussed more. I didn’t realise just how much I had been internalising. It’s really affected my life and relationships. Thanks.
Thank you for this! You’re such a blessing 💜
the description 😩 i felt that
The calm way you described this topic and how down to earth you are made this video extremely easy to watch. You are amazing. You just gained another subscriber.