Find your Kojima name with my simple 11-page form | Unraveled BONUS

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  • čas přidán 10. 11. 2019
  • Death Stranding has some wild characters, but this isn't the first time Hideo Kojima has had fun with names. Now, you can find your own Kojima name with the help of Brian David Gilbert's Kojima Name Generator. You can download the generator here: bit.ly/kojimanamegenerator
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Komentáře • 6K

  • @polygon
    @polygon  Před 4 lety +4805

    You can download the name generator here: bit.ly/kojimanamegenerator
    And when you're done, please post your explanatory monologue, or else how will I know who you are? - The Lewd Improvisationman

    • @nickd.9955
      @nickd.9955 Před 4 lety +101

      Thanks dad

    • @theshamanite
      @theshamanite Před 4 lety +98

      Aquarius pre-Ophiuchus. I'd say we have the same sign Brian, but the chaos God Ophiuchus decided to make a point that he existed and we all hate him now for it.

    • @natezabinski5615
      @natezabinski5615 Před 4 lety +61

      @ Drawfee do a drawing challenge for this.

    • @garrettgrisso8180
      @garrettgrisso8180 Před 4 lety +32

      polygon has uploaded other things to scribd, including the faze clan / tfue lawsuit that i didn’t know about and apparently has something to do with water conservation in colorado and in the limited amount i’m willing to read of legal documents it doesn’t seem to be a joke

    • @macdoo99
      @macdoo99 Před 4 lety +70

      Hi, I’m Peeler Conurbation, and if you’re wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I realised that as people come together, they are torn apart. I, peeler conurbation am a VIOLENT SPY with PSYCHIC PARASITES who seeks to tear people apart literally before they come together figuratively.

  • @storyspren
    @storyspren Před 4 lety +9677

    Ah yes, the three states of matter: Solid, liquid, and naked.

    • @Captain-Dju
      @Captain-Dju Před 4 lety +115

      You sir just made me choke on my coffee, well played !

    • @Sir_Bucket
      @Sir_Bucket Před 4 lety +157

      And remember children: heat the liquid to makes it naked

    • @superfunkyjam
      @superfunkyjam Před 4 lety +119

      there is a fourth state, solidus

    • @LeAlejx
      @LeAlejx Před 4 lety +9

      Are you the legendary big boss?

    • @storyspren
      @storyspren Před 4 lety +31

      @nik _ Gaseous Snake maybe?

  • @finnfarrell8069
    @finnfarrell8069 Před 3 lety +2529

    “These names represent my coworkers for who they really are”
    The old wet gamer

    • @badernera7497
      @badernera7497 Před 2 lety +4

      hmm.

    • @ellana5076
      @ellana5076 Před 2 lety +36

      the tree pee

    • @whatashittyname.6460
      @whatashittyname.6460 Před 2 lety +29

      Mine is Big Naked Lickable Catman. Help.

    • @RabbiHerschel
      @RabbiHerschel Před rokem +20

      @@whatashittyname.6460 I got Kukri Revolver. There is only one kind of help I am qualified to give.

    • @Akira.0.
      @Akira.0. Před 8 měsíci +6

      ​@@RabbiHerscheltwo actually, kukri and revolver

  • @averagebardenjoyer
    @averagebardenjoyer Před 3 lety +2518

    “what is your most embarrassing childhood memory?” i don’t know, Brian I repressed all memories before the age of 17

  • @gracegrrl007
    @gracegrrl007 Před 3 lety +2657

    I legitimately cannot get over one of BDG's names being "Big Brain Producer"
    like this has to have been planned somehow but I know it wasn't

    • @tweer64
      @tweer64 Před 2 lety +7

      I think it was just "Brain Producer".

    • @gracegrrl007
      @gracegrrl007 Před 2 lety +58

      @@tweer64 If you pause around 8:37 when all of his names (aside from The Lewd Improvisationman) are onscreen, Occupational Name is spelled out as Big Brain Producer in its entirety! but let's not kid ourselves, Brain Producer would be JUST as good.

  • @TheManTheMythD
    @TheManTheMythD Před 4 lety +3041

    That feeling when you spend 30 minutes on an introspective and highly personal journey of discovery to find your deep and meaningful name, only to suddenly become Hideo Kojima at the very end.

    • @SteezyLovejoy
      @SteezyLovejoy Před 4 lety +446

      Feel like that's somehow the most Kojima ending

    • @d.s.bernard8907
      @d.s.bernard8907 Před 4 lety +139

      I rolled in the 60’s on two d10’s and that was an absolutely terrifying moment

    • @Stormthorn67
      @Stormthorn67 Před 4 lety +33

      Metaphor for life

    • @vacuousloki1648
      @vacuousloki1648 Před 2 lety +6

      Nice

    • @karelia1227
      @karelia1227 Před 2 lety +43

      This is the paradoxical experience of being a trans girl.

  • @PurePlummet
    @PurePlummet Před 4 lety +3249

    You know, for someone deathly afraid of horses, you've essentially created a racehorse name generator.

    • @mrsb50
      @mrsb50 Před 3 lety +151

      Genuinely flawless observation 😂 if there’s a horse that ever shares my Kojima-given name-Big Werewolf Sahara-I’m putting mega bucks on it winning

    • @JimboDoomface
      @JimboDoomface Před 3 lety +36

      Can you bet on a horse to lose?

    • @johnnyshortfor
      @johnnyshortfor Před 2 lety +54

      As someone whose result was Old Naked Horseman, I really cannot disagree more, but that's a personal thing

    • @elliot-sowdon
      @elliot-sowdon Před 2 lety +11

      @@johnnyshortfor naming a baby horse that would be a power move.

    • @johnnyshortfor
      @johnnyshortfor Před 2 lety +8

      @@elliot-sowdon …funny you mention that since my mom’s two mares are foaling this spring

  • @chuck_duck
    @chuck_duck Před 3 lety +869

    If Kojima is ever held hostage, they better show him this

    • @polygon
      @polygon  Před 3 lety +358

      hopefully he will find it of his own free will :')

    • @chuck_duck
      @chuck_duck Před 3 lety +77

      @@polygon well yea. I don’t want Kojima to be held hostage. I just can’t help but picture the situation of Kojima being shown this while being held hostage. It seems funny.

    • @alexl9985
      @alexl9985 Před 2 lety +48

      And then make him eat 16 carrots

    • @bek7562
      @bek7562 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Too late, already happened

  • @WaterWolf.
    @WaterWolf. Před 3 lety +696

    Anecdote Odyssey - I imagine the explanatory monologue for this particular character would be quite longwinded.

  • @NinjaCupcakeAttack
    @NinjaCupcakeAttack Před 4 lety +9159

    it feels strangely intimate watching unraveled without bdg in a suit

    • @SwimmingInSunlight
      @SwimmingInSunlight Před 4 lety +478

      Bdg after dark

    • @crowe3301
      @crowe3301 Před 4 lety +312

      it feels like youre skyping your friend at like three in the morning

    • @disastergirl888
      @disastergirl888 Před 4 lety +143

      Oh, that’s what it is that feels so wrong about this episode...

    • @musicsaves71590
      @musicsaves71590 Před 4 lety +112

      I think you mean The Lewd Improvisationman

    • @ageha_vercor
      @ageha_vercor Před 4 lety +79

      And also the look into his actual fears and childhood humiliation? How raw... I also am terrified of horses.

  • @brandonmichaelheimbach452
    @brandonmichaelheimbach452 Před 4 lety +3401

    “Writing Teacher”. It’s literally my job. Great. I’m an NPC...

  • @vinziweihs6585
    @vinziweihs6585 Před 3 lety +580

    Someone: "And who are you?"
    Me: "Liquid. Antmouth Liquid."

  • @joshchamber9
    @joshchamber9 Před 3 lety +283

    I can safely say, that after nearly a year of this video being uploaded, that my best friend and I still have our Kojima names as our Phone Contact names.

  • @BlueSeaBox
    @BlueSeaBox Před 4 lety +3822

    Without the suit, that moustache is somehow far more threatening.

    • @Mamontiny
      @Mamontiny Před 4 lety +130

      His name is Horses Trident after all

    • @dantel4170
      @dantel4170 Před 4 lety +79

      @@Mamontiny what gives YOU the right to call him by that name?!?!

    • @FoxEatingBamboo
      @FoxEatingBamboo Před 4 lety +23

      It manifests equine vibes.

    • @MrWilson812
      @MrWilson812 Před 4 lety +11

      Especially with the nail polish. I'd say his code name fits pretty damn well.

    • @deeveevideos
      @deeveevideos Před 4 lety +5

      Exactly like he's someone you don't take candy from or van rides from

  • @s0phtt
    @s0phtt Před 4 lety +2550

    Everyone: *has a big crazy name*
    Emily Heller: Emily Heller

    • @hazimasdfa6897
      @hazimasdfa6897 Před 4 lety +47

      rolled a 69 I guess

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 Před 4 lety +64

      @tobias f But Hideo Kojima first rolled a 69, thus converting him into a copy of a random person among those who filled out the form. Don't question how I know this.

    • @Miphiel
      @Miphiel Před 4 lety +50

      Hello Emily Heller I'm your new clone Old Heller

    • @v.s.1889
      @v.s.1889 Před 4 lety +46

      Emily Heller(Emily Heller)

    • @tleilaxu42
      @tleilaxu42 Před 4 lety +36

      Mr. Emily Heller is totally a Kojima name.

  • @uwuingallnight7381
    @uwuingallnight7381 Před 3 lety +262

    Imagine doing the whole worksheet just to get ”the harpoon”. THE HARPOON. YOU MADE ME RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FOR THIS?
    I even did my other names too but since I rolled no conditions they’re just
    ”[my name]”, ”Lira Studier”, ”Gemini cat”, ”the harpoon”, ”Vibe”, ”dull knife”, ”Drink”
    Drink?? These dice are mocking me, I’ve never seen a kubrik film and they know it

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 Před 2 lety +16

      Vibe is really believable tbh

    • @alexlee4154
      @alexlee4154 Před 10 měsíci +9

      Vibe is the edgy anti-hero's name. He's a cyberpunk character or something

    • @VijoPlays
      @VijoPlays Před 10 měsíci +8

      Bro, Vibe would go hard in a Kojima game though

    • @uwuingallnight7381
      @uwuingallnight7381 Před 10 měsíci +3

      @@VijoPlays i guess that means the name is *a vibe*

    • @aldar8240
      @aldar8240 Před 8 měsíci +6

      dude being named the harpoon sounds kickass

  • @trademarkshelton
    @trademarkshelton Před 3 lety +132

    DANG IT! I got through 6 minutes of this just to find out I was Hideo Kojima. Not sure if I'm even allowed to watch the rest of this

  • @Anuc13
    @Anuc13 Před 4 lety +7973

    I filled out the entire goddamn worksheet only to end up with the name "content eating nothingdoer" this was the slowest self-burn I ever had to endure and I doubt I will heal from this, thank you lewd-imorovisationman, you have forever left a scar deep in my soul

  • @moredetonation3755
    @moredetonation3755 Před 4 lety +2091

    It's like an 80s dad dropped into the modern world and was given clothing by the kid who found him

  • @Patch-lz9yi
    @Patch-lz9yi Před rokem +55

    "I couldn't let it define me, so I became what I couldn't handle," was a line I did not expect to write today.
    To think it came from a monologue explaining how my name is "The Internal Organs" because I nearly passed out during a dissection lab.

  • @E3kHatena
    @E3kHatena Před 3 lety +262

    Brian, I know you left Polygon, but I feel the need to write this comment regardless and hope someonf from Polygon passes it on to you. I just went through the trouble to figure out my Kojima name, and I got "The MP5". That is not a human name, Brian. That is literally a kind of gun. I nearly went through the trouble to put together another name out of sheer frustration over being dubbed The MP5. Your breed of chaos is troubling, and I will definitely lose sleep over this. Best of luck on your future independent endeavors.
    Signed,
    The "E3k" MP5.

    • @RhysLloyd2611
      @RhysLloyd2611 Před 2 lety +18

      How's it going MP5?

    • @thelastcube.
      @thelastcube. Před rokem +20

      now you know why he left Polygon, you were after him

    • @caramelldansen2204
      @caramelldansen2204 Před rokem

      I see nothing wrong with this name.

    • @fade3173
      @fade3173 Před 8 měsíci

      So what's your surname after MP5? K or SD or A3 or what?

  • @png32
    @png32 Před 4 lety +657

    "Old Gay Programmer"
    No backstory needed.

  • @owl3550
    @owl3550 Před 4 lety +2683

    Oh god, my name is The Big Failure.

    • @jeanetten.s.8557
      @jeanetten.s.8557 Před 3 lety +72

      You called?

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 Před 3 lety +28

      Mood.

    • @ThyOni
      @ThyOni Před 3 lety +62

      Bro because im gererally nickname crist i ended up being fcking J e s u s c r i s t

    • @ThyOni
      @ThyOni Před 3 lety +14

      So dont worry my son you shall be well adventured in your little succes

    • @thesavagefour4290
      @thesavagefour4290 Před 3 lety +3

      Nice

  • @ADudeNamedLucky
    @ADudeNamedLucky Před 3 lety +77

    I got “The Evil Friend” and I can’t even fucking complain. That makes perfect sense.

  • @jdrock5265
    @jdrock5265 Před 3 lety +254

    Eyyy, it's me, ya boi, Ego Transporter, back at it with another intergalactic UPS order

    • @NerdilyDone
      @NerdilyDone Před 3 lety +6

      I legitimately love this.

    • @mejhdhhicbfshihids652
      @mejhdhhicbfshihids652 Před 2 lety +6

      Hey I just got an email saying my shipment of dilithium crystals was delivered but I can’t find it anywhere (I ordered it to be delivered to Earth, Sol, Milky Way if that helps)

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame Před 2 lety +3

      @@mejhdhhicbfshihids652 intergalactic delivery to Earth is always slow, have it delivered to the moon and pick it up from there, you’ll get it at least 3 months earlier.

    • @mejhdhhicbfshihids652
      @mejhdhhicbfshihids652 Před 2 lety +2

      @@SorowFame Thanks for the tip

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame Před 2 lety +1

      @@mejhdhhicbfshihids652 you’re welcome

  • @Aaronzver
    @Aaronzver Před 4 lety +3424

    For real though, this guy looks like his name could easily be Cheerio Crispr.

    • @jasper3706
      @jasper3706 Před 4 lety +86

      His name already is Cheerio Crispr. What... did you not know that?

    • @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth
      @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth Před 4 lety +33

      I got "The Old Storyteller."

    • @princessthyemis
      @princessthyemis Před 4 lety +8

      isn't it a legit great name?! I love it XD

    • @randomknight2585
      @randomknight2585 Před 3 lety +12

      That’s sounds like the name of British bio-terrorist in a metal gear game

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame Před 2 lety +1

      @@randomknight2585 given CRISPR is a DNA thing my guess is that Cheerio CRISPR is a genetically engineered British super-assassin, modified to be the perfect killer and gentleman.

  • @junebuggeryy
    @junebuggeryy Před 4 lety +3497

    I'm going through the forum with some friends, and there straight up isn't a place where the number of carrots you can eat in one sitting comes back up. Like, unless we are wrong, the carrots are NEVER relevant again. BDG just wants you to confront how many carrots you can eat in one sitting as a form of psychological warfare to prepare you for your new life in a Kojima narrative.
    EDIT: btw- Cursed Gamestopper here

    • @MegaPagliacci
      @MegaPagliacci Před 4 lety +105

      Crona Bla that makes it even better

    • @dutch_asocialite
      @dutch_asocialite Před 4 lety +86

      >Cursed Gamestopper
      Damn, that's actually almost cool sounding. Sounds like some Big Game ringleader who captures the best people from around the world and puts them in an inescapable compound to ??? war as a business. Just can't believe it's wasted on a CZcams commenter.
      Also Fish Fame here.

    • @nstewart1623
      @nstewart1623 Před 4 lety +76

      Hey Cursed Gamestopper, it's Chill Proctorman! You should always know how many carrots you can eat if forced.
      Always.

    • @tamby_teeze
      @tamby_teeze Před 4 lety +19

      Honestly, I kinda suspected that.

    • @MortimerSeptimus
      @MortimerSeptimus Před 3 lety +18

      Hey, I'm your clone, The Cursed Howitzer

  • @Danmarinja
    @Danmarinja Před 2 lety +54

    “These names… are meaningful in a way a given name cannot be.”
    We all saw Emily Heller’s name was literally just her given name, right?

  • @hampstergame566
    @hampstergame566 Před 3 lety +90

    Well "Cactus Missile" isnt the name i was expecting but i think that its a...
    Well its a name...

  • @autismeister
    @autismeister Před 4 lety +887

    I’m Cello Death. You see, when cellos are getting old and overused, I come in to guide their eternal souls to the afterlife.

    • @iguessmynamesriya7658
      @iguessmynamesriya7658 Před 4 lety +28

      So like a psychopomp who in life was a great artist until a tragic death at the hands of a man from your past led you to become a guider of spirits and general muse for those who come after you?

    • @ojcorp
      @ojcorp Před 4 lety +34

      Cello Darkness My Old Friend

    • @jeanetten.s.8557
      @jeanetten.s.8557 Před 3 lety +4

      @@iguessmynamesriya7658 *furiously writes that down*

  • @rachelgordon5491
    @rachelgordon5491 Před 4 lety +2389

    My boyfriend got "The Horseman"
    I got "The Horse"
    Brian I don't like this 😀

  • @itsaspiracle
    @itsaspiracle Před 3 lety +41

    i am
    “saliva schedulerman”
    “the accidental imprisonment”
    “read emails”
    “recovering simping cat”
    and “turret splinter-stick”
    what a rollercoaster this past half hour has been

    • @youtubedj9298
      @youtubedj9298 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Is it read/reed as in to read or read/red as they have been read?

    • @itsaspiracle
      @itsaspiracle Před 6 měsíci

      @@youtubedj9298 honestly, great question - i think it was present tense, though. as in to read.

    • @youtubedj9298
      @youtubedj9298 Před 6 měsíci +2

      @@itsaspiracle Norman Reader of E-mails

  • @Bairdy34
    @Bairdy34 Před 3 lety +40

    "started a recordingman" made me cry laughing

  • @matthewschneider6725
    @matthewschneider6725 Před 4 lety +2002

    "Burgerstruggle Doppelganger" really rolls off the tongue like a metric ton of superballs.

    • @pikapuffin368
      @pikapuffin368 Před 4 lety +71

      This is an amazing name, I will fight anyone who disagrees.

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken Před 4 lety +46

      This is the pinnacle of a Kojima name.

    • @felixvelariusbos
      @felixvelariusbos Před 4 lety +25

      I didn't realize that you could win at this...but good sir, you very much did.

    • @aidafowl
      @aidafowl Před 4 lety +58

      Isn't that the guy who plays Sherlock?

    • @putridmoldyman306
      @putridmoldyman306 Před 4 lety +10

      Would burgerstruggle struggleburger be better?

  • @jayekaplan4955
    @jayekaplan4955 Před 4 lety +1521

    my name is "The Old Shrieking Dishtowel" and i'm not sure how to feel.

    • @driftercarbon
      @driftercarbon Před 4 lety +56

      Feel like a boss, cause that's what you'd be with a name like that.

    • @tundra1992
      @tundra1992 Před 4 lety +11

      Definitely shriek worthy

    • @Scorpion23341
      @Scorpion23341 Před 4 lety +20

      As The Old Clown, I can relate

    • @Corbomite_Meatballs
      @Corbomite_Meatballs Před 4 lety +4

      I bet everyone knows when you clean up...

    • @Felixr2
      @Felixr2 Před 4 lety +3

      As Watching a Video, I envy you

  • @thearchitect8135
    @thearchitect8135 Před 3 lety +93

    My kojima name is "Old Naked Catman". I literally can't do the explanation section how could this happen.

    • @scepta101
      @scepta101 Před 3 lety +9

      Alright this one seems the most likely to actually make it into a Kojima game from what I’ve seen

    • @austinluther5825
      @austinluther5825 Před 2 lety +15

      All of us with the Old prefix sound like total creeps.
      Signed,
      Old Voyeurism Jacketman

    • @alepenagorbe9135
      @alepenagorbe9135 Před rokem +1

      Are you Idris Elba

    • @snichelsticks8653
      @snichelsticks8653 Před rokem +2

      @@austinluther5825 wha.... where did VOYEURISM come from?

    • @austinluther5825
      @austinluther5825 Před rokem +3

      @@snichelsticks8653 Okay, it was a while ago. But I think it was from the Mads Mikkelsen part.

  • @cilantrolime
    @cilantrolime Před 3 lety +47

    I got 'Self-Conscious Student.' This thing *WORKS*.

  • @MapleMilk
    @MapleMilk Před 4 lety +1099

    "Audience watches Brian take a strangely personal 11 page quiz"
    That fits a description for a certain website

    • @dinolandra
      @dinolandra Před 4 lety +28

      You mean... Uh... Polygon.com?

  • @protodevilin
    @protodevilin Před 4 lety +1795

    N A K E D T R E E H O U N D
    Sounds like a legit MGS boss.

  • @PewPew_McPewster
    @PewPew_McPewster Před 2 lety +18

    The real secret to Kojima's naming system is that it's one part pop culture reference, one part Buddhist Dharma name, and one part sexual innuendo. BDG has of course perfectly and correctly identified this in his analysis and worksheet.

  • @toobert
    @toobert Před 2 lety +11

    I got so unlucky on everything that my name is just my name, no conditions. My monologue is "Oh, that's just what my parents named me."

  • @opekamma
    @opekamma Před 4 lety +1766

    To be fair this is just being given 10 minutes to make a D&D character

    • @dicorockhimself
      @dicorockhimself Před 4 lety +19

      10 minutes? Guess I'm going fighter XD

    • @AlmostUselessPenguin
      @AlmostUselessPenguin Před 4 lety +58

      If I ever run a session I'm making an npc using this.

    • @opekamma
      @opekamma Před 4 lety +21

      @@dicorockhimself I made a wizard as my first character ever to sit in on a running session in 15 minutes! It was terrifying, but I think she's still my favorite, since now shes an npc in it. She got a backstory eventually, and also a big ol farmer wife she met when I was still driving her

    • @dicorockhimself
      @dicorockhimself Před 4 lety

      @@opekamma impressive as you r first too? I just mentioned them as a 15 minute character sense you have so few choices lol

    • @partialbullet2215
      @partialbullet2215 Před 4 lety

      Almost Useless Penguin
      Just do this with ever NPC

  • @OMalleyTheMaggot
    @OMalleyTheMaggot Před 4 lety +1902

    "All you need is a full set of RPG dice..."
    *stands up to go get my dice*
    "...and this 11 page form you can download in the description"
    *slowly sits back down*

    • @joewoods532
      @joewoods532 Před 3 lety +18

      This was me as as well. I'll get on to it later

    • @QueenAshe
      @QueenAshe Před 3 lety +4

      @@joewoods532 this was two weeks ago, I require an answer

    • @joewoods532
      @joewoods532 Před 3 lety +9

      Still getting to it

    • @joewoods532
      @joewoods532 Před 3 lety +54

      i did it. i am now the zeppelin man

    • @prettyred8554
      @prettyred8554 Před 3 lety +1

      I do get the joke but I was able to do it without the worksheet more or less

  • @voicetale
    @voicetale Před 3 lety +62

    BDG: *talks about his greatest intangible fear*
    Me: so emotional
    BDG: what's your greatest tangible fear? *HORSES*
    Me: nevermind.

    • @blueninja012
      @blueninja012 Před 3 lety +4

      look up "My Autobiography" on his main channel called Brian David Gilbert, I don't think it's a random joke, he's too consistent with it for it to be

  • @Juanitlitzilopochtli
    @Juanitlitzilopochtli Před 3 lety +50

    I did the worksheet and I got “The People Man”, I like it.

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame Před 2 lety

      Wow, not just the full worksheet but the full the full worksheet? I’m impressed.

  • @kideatspaper3618
    @kideatspaper3618 Před 4 lety +3969

    “The Unintentional Racist” thanks i hate it

  • @snoopynwoodstock99
    @snoopynwoodstock99 Před 4 lety +1149

    "The Lewd Old Simone de Rochefort" so does this confirm that she's immortal?

    • @dantio3195
      @dantio3195 Před 4 lety +28

      and a clone, obv

    • @ufofighter16
      @ufofighter16 Před 4 lety +20

      Simone a Great Old One? Yeah that makes sense

    • @Ghostslack
      @Ghostslack Před 4 lety +8

      LITERALLY the perfect name for simone

    • @Bhazor
      @Bhazor Před 3 lety +1

      That dang lewd old Simone de Rochefort

  • @someguyyouprobablyneverheardof

    "theres another name you might know me by. mediocre large table"

  • @realkingofantarctica
    @realkingofantarctica Před 3 lety +17

    No matter how "good" Kojima's names get, they'll never reach the level of Miracle Johnson and Steven Spinning.

  • @lemonboy5498
    @lemonboy5498 Před 4 lety +506

    My name is “Anime Noncomplementary Behaviour”. This was supposed to be a cool name, Mr. David Gilbert.
    Edit: I tried again and got the name “Big The Sneeze Fart” so maybe my original name wasn’t so bad after all

    • @rattyeely
      @rattyeely Před 4 lety +7

      Better than Otaku convention I guess...

    • @FlamingZelda3
      @FlamingZelda3 Před 4 lety +5

      Note, any conditions from section 4 go AFTER "The" if you have the "The" name. So you'd be: The Big Sneeze Fart

    • @DareMurdok
      @DareMurdok Před 4 lety +10

      Congrats, you're a comic relief character, hated by everyone in the game, but oddly charmed and loved by the fandom!

    • @hiddenpb6261
      @hiddenpb6261 Před 4 lety

      So its Ruyre Annobe then?

  • @exzyyd392
    @exzyyd392 Před 4 lety +693

    "Kojima often creates characters that have a lot of different names"
    - Revolver 'Revolver Ocelot' Ocelot -

    • @warren_waters
      @warren_waters Před 4 lety +53

      Major "Revolver 'Shalashaska' Ocelot" Ocelot

    • @erraticonteuse
      @erraticonteuse Před 4 lety +18

      @@warren_waters Don't forget "Adamska"!

    • @Oszy333
      @Oszy333 Před 4 lety +27

      Liquid "Major "Revolver "Shalashaska" Ocelot" Ocelot" Ocelot

    • @QuicklimeTime
      @QuicklimeTime Před 4 lety +19

      "I AM -SHASHALASHKA- -SHALASHISHKA- -LASHASHASKA- -SHISHKA- *OCELOT* "

    • @lopenash
      @lopenash Před 4 lety +1

      Major Adamska "Shalashaska" "Liquid" "Revolver" Ocelot

  • @imkemae8536
    @imkemae8536 Před 3 lety +28

    I got "Bombastic Scholar" sounds pretty dope ngl

  • @sayushino4819
    @sayushino4819 Před 3 lety +21

    “you are no longer confined by a name you were given as a child, and you are free to manifest your own true nature with a name you create”
    great, now I am confined by a name given to me as an adult because I rolled a perfect 69

  • @hare6663
    @hare6663 Před 4 lety +903

    "The Lewd Old Simone de Rochefort" is just simones normal name

    • @bearrorist5658
      @bearrorist5658 Před 4 lety +33

      Also sounds more like a dark souls boss tbh

  • @mery7798
    @mery7798 Před 4 lety +1024

    "Big Solid Turtle"
    Backstory:
    You see, I'm a big turtle

    • @gynt6740
      @gynt6740 Před 4 lety +17

      María París but are you solid

    • @mery7798
      @mery7798 Před 4 lety +29

      @@gynt6740 oh I'm pretty sure I am

    • @partialbullet2215
      @partialbullet2215 Před 4 lety +1

      María París
      Aaaaaa
      Sex jokes

    • @robynthethird4776
      @robynthethird4776 Před 4 lety +13

      I did this with my friends, and one of them was Big Fucking Student. Goddamnded extraordinary.

    • @captaincrash9002
      @captaincrash9002 Před 4 lety +6

      ayy, it's coco jumbo

  • @CatsHateHandcream
    @CatsHateHandcream Před 2 lety +7

    I love Brian not knowing that Fatman could only have more subtext as a name if he was called Little Boy or Tsar Bomba.

  • @lunarheavens2819
    @lunarheavens2819 Před 3 lety +11

    My name is Colorblind Nothing.
    Thanks, BDG.
    This does describe me perfectly though.
    If anyone wanted to ask, i got the 'you are how you currently are' condition and the name that lacks context. my current body state is colorblind, and the last thing i did was literally sit at my desk thinking about nothing for a couple minutes, which i rephrased into nothing.

  • @sjblurry7659
    @sjblurry7659 Před 4 lety +717

    I literally went through this whole thing and rolled 69 on the kojima condition... Guess I'm Hideo Kojima lol

  • @rewgge
    @rewgge Před 4 lety +879

    please refer to me as the "Hentai odyssey man" from now on

  • @ghninja0
    @ghninja0 Před 3 lety +4

    That explanation at 9:02 legitimately sounds like something from a Kojima Game.

  • @h3tty
    @h3tty Před 4 lety +2708

    I legitimately got the name “someone’s whole arm ripping my eyes out or something man” I played by the rules how did this happen

    • @radardjz7275
      @radardjz7275 Před 3 lety +259

      Only Kojima knows

    • @ivygreenleaf2722
      @ivygreenleaf2722 Před 3 lety +452

      Just go with the initials. You're now 'swarmeoosm', congrats

    • @h3tty
      @h3tty Před 3 lety +122

      Ivy Greenleaf thats got a ring to it

    • @dawnbray8325
      @dawnbray8325 Před 3 lety +48

      Have you prepared you explanation yet?

    • @thecooldude3255
      @thecooldude3255 Před 3 lety +24

      We need an explanation

  • @ValekHalfHeart
    @ValekHalfHeart Před 4 lety +363

    "Beardless Naked Lickable White Cat"
    Thanks Brian

    • @HeroLink18
      @HeroLink18 Před 3 lety +39

      That sounds like a Scribblenauts object.

  • @jordanfox840
    @jordanfox840 Před 3 lety +12

    watching this at 3am and I absolutely lost it at "The Tree Pee" 9:22

  • @lampshark
    @lampshark Před 3 lety +5

    Me and my sister filled out the worksheet to make a character name for our new Stardew Valley run, then we decided to the worksheet for ourselves, so “What were you doing right before doing this worksheet?” “Doing this worksheet” We thought nothing of it until she ended up with a name that lacks subtext. She is now known as Doing This Worksheetman

  • @garryfitzgerald
    @garryfitzgerald Před 4 lety +605

    I spent 48 minutes trying to find my Hideo Kojima name; working tirelessly to fuel the never-ending cesspool of human curiosity that is my brain and it ends up being
    *"The Watching Brian David Gilbert-man"*
    Thank you, Brian.

  • @reguba3534
    @reguba3534 Před 4 lety +999

    "The Tongues Kiss"
    I don't wanna talk about it.

  • @JP_knees
    @JP_knees Před 3 lety +13

    I have completed this worksheet and found my Kojima name! I rolled the dice. I wrote in the answers, having my fun. Playing along. I couldn't believe that I also rolled a 6 and had to pick out 6 extra names!
    And then I rolled a Twelve.
    And Kojima had to be the one to tell me that I'm a clone.
    But there's only 1 other person I've seen fill out this worksheet. Brian.
    Anyways my 7 names are The Lewd Thoughts Man
    Hollow David Gilbert
    Big Brain Identity Crisis
    Aquarius Jumper Shark
    Cheerio Trash
    Ate Horses
    and Driving a Recordingman

  • @sencerozdemir7175
    @sencerozdemir7175 Před 2 lety +4

    Imagining that every character in MGS filled this form beforehand is also hilarious.

  • @thegalaxydonutshow
    @thegalaxydonutshow Před 4 lety +942

    I’m literally just “The Big Fear”

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 Před 4 lety +58

      More like The Big Mood amirite

    • @luuketaylor
      @luuketaylor Před 4 lety +18

      Gotta change your username from TheGoodUsername to TheBigFear right away, then!

    • @Reac2
      @Reac2 Před 4 lety +9

      Let my spice that name up a bit for you. Lets make its "The Even Bigger Fear"

    • @nexokor6091
      @nexokor6091 Před 4 lety +29

      "You have proven yourself to be stronger than even The Fear. I now pronounce you with the title of Big Fear."

    • @PhantasmPhoton
      @PhantasmPhoton Před 4 lety +10

      Its just alt history MGS
      You have surpassed even The Fear you are The Big Fear

  • @waffleless
    @waffleless Před 4 lety +886

    “Horses Trident” sounds like an actual MGS name.

  • @Couldnt_Be_Bothered
    @Couldnt_Be_Bothered Před 4 měsíci +4

    They call me Catgirl Eternity on the streets, and Bose-Einstein Condensate Cat in the sheets.

  • @smileyface2313
    @smileyface2313 Před 3 lety +6

    "Failure Sandwich" oh my god.

  • @markeep6055
    @markeep6055 Před 3 lety +979

    "The Ripped Pant"
    "Lazy Student"
    "Ego Student"
    "Marker Student"
    "The Unintentional Kojima"
    "Solid Fracturedman"

    • @miguelmoreno9380
      @miguelmoreno9380 Před 3 lety +24

      eeeeyyyy im Ego Student too

    • @TheStripeTailedFiend
      @TheStripeTailedFiend Před 3 lety +103

      Solid fracturedman sounds like an actual mgs character name.

    • @bryce4395
      @bryce4395 Před 3 lety +30

      Unintentional Kojima XDDDD

    • @azmodanuno2879
      @azmodanuno2879 Před 3 lety +5

      @@TheStripeTailedFiend or a rejected mega man boss

    • @smolselene9453
      @smolselene9453 Před 3 lety +11

      @@TheStripeTailedFiend Does Sleep Artist sound like a metal gear solid name though? Probably not. Anyways, I'm Sleep Artist and if you wanna know how I got that name, let me tell you: The Lewd-Improvisationman forced me to fill out a really long form thing or whatever it's called.

  • @thelindseys6423
    @thelindseys6423 Před 4 lety +357

    I am.. "Rusted machete spider." You see, I was a scientific experiment between human and spider dna. I was a successful specimen but I escaped. I now work for *secret orgonization* wielding only a rusted machete.

  • @jam-the-hologram
    @jam-the-hologram Před 3 měsíci +3

    Say goodbye to Jamie, my name is now Liquid Jagged Infected Knife!

  • @blustickman8203
    @blustickman8203 Před 3 lety +13

    I got Big Money Tomato. This somehow fits my personality

  • @Qtoyghs
    @Qtoyghs Před 4 lety +698

    Hey everyone, it's me: Big Naked Syrian Hamster.

    • @ahobbit1273
      @ahobbit1273 Před 4 lety +9

      That's amazing.

    • @kingpopaul
      @kingpopaul Před 4 lety +1

      I feel like you could remove one of the first two words, or even both.

    • @jhubeJELLO
      @jhubeJELLO Před 4 lety

      horny on hamster

    • @Qtoyghs
      @Qtoyghs Před 4 lety

      @Jay Marlin That's what I got when I went through the form.

  • @JazzyisHappy
    @JazzyisHappy Před 4 lety +749

    HI, I'm Hideo Kojima, and if you're wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I rolled a fricking 69 in section 4.
    On the other hand, ignoring that fateful role in section 4, I would have been Lacking Cashier.

  • @rinnox7568
    @rinnox7568 Před 3 lety +2

    “Big Dull Knife Entomologyman” is mine.
    goddammit, Gilbert.

  • @eastia7518
    @eastia7518 Před rokem +4

    Now I deeply want to see Brian design a jojo stand generator. It has the same problem: each stand's power and name serve a purpose in the story and relate to the stand user. You can't just do a word bank of superpowers or band/song names. I want to know my stand. My personal stand.

  • @yep1tsm3
    @yep1tsm3 Před 4 lety +760

    "The Lost Voice" sounds like the spookiest horror game character

    • @arandominternetperson437
      @arandominternetperson437 Před 3 lety +42

      "The lost voice" sounds like a collection of voices that try to persuade people to their death so they can collect theirs

    • @Angel-bz5jm
      @Angel-bz5jm Před 3 lety +2

      Taking notes

    • @funnyfella8198
      @funnyfella8198 Před 3 lety +5

      Sounds like it came straight out of dark souls

    • @wendolynsaurio2426
      @wendolynsaurio2426 Před 2 lety +4

      Sounds like a dark souls character, or a Blasphemous one if translated to Spanish "La voz perdida"

  • @BE-ew2pt
    @BE-ew2pt Před 4 lety +324

    I'm Liquid Morningstar, and as a female character in a Kojima game, I'm DEFINITELY going to be half-naked at some point for handwavey plot reasons.

    • @madhatt3r93
      @madhatt3r93 Před 4 lety +45

      You breathe through your skin now, how do you feel?

    • @BE-ew2pt
      @BE-ew2pt Před 4 lety +44

      @@madhatt3r93 Still somehow have asthma :/

    • @dr.doctor2620
      @dr.doctor2620 Před 4 lety +14

      do you have a sister? name her solid morningstar if you do.

    • @sindrimarsteingrims
      @sindrimarsteingrims Před 4 lety +12

      @@dr.doctor2620 and don't even get me started on their mother, Naked Morningstar.

    • @coriredford3589
      @coriredford3589 Před 4 lety +4

      That is an undeniably cool name though. Maybe too cool for a Kojima name.

  • @margaretschafer8587
    @margaretschafer8587 Před 3 lety +9

    I'm disappointed that Brian didn't say his name sounded like Fryin', Cryin', or Dyin', all of those objectively feel more fun than Brain

  • @LobotomizedLemon
    @LobotomizedLemon Před rokem +2

    "Procrastinating Housewife" is both severely underwhelming *and* irrationally funny given the context and honestly besides being kinda offended I love it. Thank you, Brian.

  • @calciieumspersonalacc1782
    @calciieumspersonalacc1782 Před 4 lety +351

    Can’t tell if I’m blessed or extremely cursed but I got Hideo Kojima as my name

  • @connorfloyd9773
    @connorfloyd9773 Před 4 lety +343

    "I spent 20 minutes filling out a weirdly personal personal 11 page form and all I got was this lousy name."
    Signed -Watched Captain Marvel

    • @vornamenachname2727
      @vornamenachname2727 Před 4 lety +15

      I feel you, I did this right after watching this video and I am the watching man

    • @goncalocarneiro3043
      @goncalocarneiro3043 Před 4 lety +2

      It sounds stupid, but that name says a lot about society, I mean you, you, sorry.

    • @lilium9361
      @lilium9361 Před 4 lety

      lol same. I got chores playing.

    • @vornamenachname2727
      @vornamenachname2727 Před 4 lety

      @@goncalocarneiro3043 What do you mean, and which name

    • @goncalocarneiro3043
      @goncalocarneiro3043 Před 4 lety

      @@vornamenachname2727 "Watched Captain Marvel. The joke is that I implied that people who watch that movie are a faction of their own, a cult or something.

  • @akaijuinomaha5324
    @akaijuinomaha5324 Před 3 lety +5

    "Big MacReady Student" sounds like it both does and doesn't make sense at the same time

  • @loganspranger9246
    @loganspranger9246 Před 2 lety +3

    I spent half an hour on this sheet to determine my name.... I rolled a Nat 1 on the name type, so my Hideo Kojima name is just my actual name. I am mad, but also honored.

  • @mim9000
    @mim9000 Před 4 lety +451

    *is a singing teacher. Hideo Kojima name: Yell Tutor. ....well-

  • @wilbraley1660
    @wilbraley1660 Před 4 lety +521

    “I was born a normal kid. Didn’t stand out, average in every way. I was set up for a good life. Then, all of that changed when my mother dropped me. I began my first fall, and I haven’t stopped since. At any point in time I can be found in a perpetual state of falling, regardless of location. It may look like I am standing or sitting, but I am actually just falling very slowly, infinitely and forever. I have become the essence of The Falling.”

    • @StupidPoetry
      @StupidPoetry Před 4 lety +15

      that's actually kinda cool!

    • @Flowtail
      @Flowtail Před 4 lety +34

      Shadowy government institution: you’re hired

    • @yce9phire592
      @yce9phire592 Před 4 lety +6

      Seems like you captured that peculiar feeling pretty well

    • @widdershins3785
      @widdershins3785 Před 4 lety +8

      "... some might say that we're all falling to somewhere..."
      "That... that doesn't scientifically work out when-"
      "*Enjoy the Fall!*" /Dramatic Gun Fire

    • @shockedcurve453
      @shockedcurve453 Před 4 lety

      Cobra Unit: *Welcome aboard*

  • @TwoSpark55
    @TwoSpark55 Před rokem +1

    "The Taxes"
    Truly a horrifying name to give myself and Kojima has blood on his hands for this.

  • @ShmeepShmopp
    @ShmeepShmopp Před 3 lety +3

    Yeah, Norman Reedus can stick to monster energy but Drank Lemon La Croixman is built different.

  • @jotunnblue
    @jotunnblue Před 4 lety +291

    Hey, quick question, did you realize that these names would come out to be SO CURSED? Signed, Naked Lickable Cocker Spanielman.

  • @polarsbear668
    @polarsbear668 Před 4 lety +618

    BDG: "names with "The" at the start represent fears, unstoppable forces." looks at list of names from the crew, sees: The Old Wet Gamer. Now Thats a really unstoppable force

    • @Jakewake52
      @Jakewake52 Před 4 lety +18

      I think “The Tree Pee” is a much more terrifying force... What happened to you, Nicole...

  • @limepotato
    @limepotato Před 3 lety +2

    "A full set of roleplaying dice"
    well, well, well, they finally come in handy.

  • @JetstreamSam379
    @JetstreamSam379 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Hi, I’m The Big Dark, and if you’re wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I never liked the dark in my younger days, not being able to see what was around you and all that. It was so easy to sneak up and strike on someone blinded after all. That was until I realized that I could overcome my fear and use it against my enemies. I got special retinal implants, got perfect night vision from em. Now, I can strike from the darkness, without a sound. You’d better watch your back, and your sides, and all around you. Not like it’ll do you any good, cause once I’m close enough, you’re gone

  • @ShutItKyle
    @ShutItKyle Před 4 lety +724

    “Greatest physical fear: Horses.”
    *The McElroy Brothers have joined the chat*

    • @lizabee484
      @lizabee484 Před 4 lety +26

      Kyle Osborne *A rare Mr. Worldwide Webster has appeared*

    • @jjcrazyman010
      @jjcrazyman010 Před 4 lety +4

      YESSS THE MBMBAMbinos are here!

    • @sanders_billy
      @sanders_billy Před 4 lety +2

      *Jack Woltz's prized stallion has left the chat*

    • @RipDippler
      @RipDippler Před 4 lety +2

      Somehow I knew there was a large BDG MBMBAM crossfandom

    • @TheDanishGuyReviews
      @TheDanishGuyReviews Před 4 lety +2

      "Orb is a very sexual being."

  • @andromeda4257
    @andromeda4257 Před 4 lety +453

    one of my alternative names ended up being “The Big Repressed Furry.”

    • @andromeda4257
      @andromeda4257 Před 4 lety +73

      i mean come on, revolver ocelot’s already a character in the game

    • @Laerei
      @Laerei Před 4 lety +8

      Well? Are you?

    • @andromeda4257
      @andromeda4257 Před 4 lety +6

      Laerei not to my knowledge

    • @mozempire5096
      @mozempire5096 Před 4 lety +11

      @@andromeda4257 Perhaps you just have not yet received sufficient input to unleash your inner fury...I mean furry...Perhaps watching the Movie version of CATS this Christmas season will release your hidden purrs...I mean powers.
      Neither Judy Densch or Ian McKellan have tails in the movie (everyone else does), so whose to say what is real and what is an illusion?

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 Před 4 lety +1

      @@andromeda4257 If you're very repressed, you would't know, now would you?

  • @jeffer746
    @jeffer746 Před 3 lety +4

    it is the end of the road, snake. for it is i:
    **CHAOS THEORY POISON TIPPED CLAW**

  • @neonbunnies9596
    @neonbunnies9596 Před rokem +1

    It feels like Brian is going to defuse a bomb using this manual after this video