What men DON'T UNDERSTAND about FEMALE SELECTION: what being high-value does and does not get you
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2023
- Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
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Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #men
You should pin this comment. Great video Orion.
Sorry Dr, from what u said then what's the point, I'm serious what's the point the juice really isn't worth the squeeze
Man you are all wrong. Women think about all this things when they are not sure if you are their type. It is all simple. When you meet a proper woman nothing is a problem
ok , this might be contradictory but hypergamy DOESNT exist..
what we call as hypergamy is something we allow women to pursue in todays society. think about the past any era in history, if a women goes after top guy, she can have his baby but he is not going to share resources unless courts make him, disguised as child welfare . its an artificial rule contrary to nature. think deeply. she becomes single mom and child has less life expectancy without father in past. she be abused too. its the risk she takes meanwhile regular men having no lineage at all. nature is balanced. its just BEHAVIOURAL ECONOMICS.
Running behind hypergamy may work for some dudes, but for the majority of normal men, it's not worth it. We must also consider how women's standards are getting more ridiculous every week while they offer little to nothing.
And men need to realize that walking away from someone who hasn’t selected you is the absolute BEST you can do for yourself.
I would say select or not select organically be a person ready to walk away.
Men need to realize that no one wants us.
Another issue is even if you are their best option they don't believe it. They're always one coworker or dm away from their soul mate.
Exactly the same applies to women.
Not just today but also tomorrow when she comes back knocking at your door after she was used and abused by her chosen one (S), don't accept sloppy seconds.
Experienced divorce attorney here. If you are a young guy, focus like a laser on becoming the very best version of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Don’t pursue women. Attract them. Depending on your jurisdiction, do NOT get married without a valid prenup. Stay safe out there!
Im 63 and i constantly see attractive women with drunks, Criminals, men that have very little money. But they CONNECT. And are masters at TALKING. Forget the status myth. Makes too much sense that women want a nice guy thats going somewhere. Women will THINK the opposite. Its Emotion. Its Connection.
Thank you for the wise words sir.
@@michael-hw1uv I'm 59 and I don't see attractive women with drunks, criminals or poor men. Where do you live???
@@itzakehrenberg3449 Think he's talking about the men who are "bad boys" that the women go after. You really can't make a simple conclusion since women are all over the place in their preferences. It's a stupid game at the end of the day.
Prenup!
If you chase only butterflies, they will fly away but if you put effort in making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come flying by themselves, and even if they don't come, you'll still have a beautiful garden.
That's awesome!
And then you flamethrower the butterflies, because in a garden this majestic they are considered "pests"
True…. But butterflies 🦋 still eat your tomatoes and cabbage..,
Butterflies are beautiful and distracting 😂
@@ryanliteman6267 this still fits perfectly with the analogy
My 2 cents. Don't try to dive too deep into the pool of women's thoughts. Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving. Don't spend too much time, money, or energy trying to get or keep a woman.
Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving.
Brother, the best advice ever.
Gracias
Best answer!
Exatly, be okay with women making their decisions while you make your own. If they don't find you attractive coz you are ugly, fat, short, a race she doesn't like, broke or whatever other reason fair enough.
But you are also free to decide whether or not to approach them or spend any time with them.
Thats something an unmarried dude would say. Once u have kids ull change ur tune
@@stephencapellan2312 I'm married and I have kids (adult children). I've said as much to my sons.
A woman will quickly forget everything you have done for her, but she will NEVER forget everything you have not done for her.
Unfortunately these are the things that revolve around her menstrual cycle.
Because wounds leave scars but orgasms quickly fade. It’s a sad truth that really good things do not leave permanent marks on a person, but really bad things often do.
Exactly Mundo!
@@eurosalamanderof course threats to your central nervous system symbolize potential death. Rewards only symbolize potential increased happiness but doesn’t ensure life.
Remember. Never in the tens of thousands of years on the history of humanity have women ever stopped, contemplated and empathised male suffering.
This was me! Got a graduate degree, six pack and six figures by 25, but still couldn't land a woman. Finally found someone who seemed to appreciate how awesome I was, but it turns out she was a narcissist. I didn't know what that meant back then. Now I'm divorced and broke and starting over at 40. Let me be your cautionary tale young men, watch this channel and learn to vet women before you let them come stay on your island
All The Best, brother🔥
I’m going to give you some free advice, you are free to take or leave it: “appreciate how awesome I was” is the kind of thinking you need to bury. Your ex may have been a narcissist. Not trying to offend, but I would guess there were two narcissists in that relationship. You sound like you are fighting back from a hard landing. Good luck to you. Your path will be easier if you don’t come across as a narcissist.
@@adamesd3699 great point, I definitely need to be careful the way I say it. Here I was going more for hyperbole to match the video's lesson -- like hey, I've got a six pack and six figures, everything the women say they want, but no one gave me the time of day for some unknown reason (which we learned in the video). But when I linked up to my narcissist and she was love bombing me it felt as though I was her superhero and was the best guy since sliced bread. Finally all my workouts and investments were paying off. 🙂
I appreciate you checking me so I could introspect on this
@@chelsy2255 I think perhaps his advice didn't land well with you because it was directed towards me. Sorry it seems to have upset you.
@@chelsy2255 @chelsy-gz1js My comment was directed to Chris, since I quoted directly from his comment.
I’m not sure what I wrote that upset you. It was not my intention to upset anyone.
I was simply reacting to the “how awesome I am” part because I recognize this thinking in people I know and sometimes in myself and it usually doesn’t go well.
I know an attorney who makes more than $3 million a year. And most of it goes to his three ex-wives. He used to be handsome, successful, doing great. He still has the income, but he’s now an overweight alcoholic on several medications who works to pay all the alimony and child support. [Edit: And to pay for his continuing “extra-curricular” activities with even more women.]
So my point is that being smart, careful, and humble in life is very important.
As for who has it worse these days, men or women, I would say both.
As a 58 year old man I can't begin to tell you how much of relief it is not to have to care what women think.
Are you single or are you in a structure guided relationship that you lead? I’m 39 and considering staying single. Women out there are in a sad state.. I can’t afford to bring that type of energy into my kingdom.
@@7lightcraft I'm in a long relationship that has been a civil partnership for 3 years. We did the work over many years. Find a person that is willing to not play games and do the work together.
I so agree, my 50s have been the most peaceful time of my life because I just don't care what women think anymore.
@@MassiveLib Thats great advice until... She decides one day that she is bored and you just are not the one anymore, no matter how well you think you know her, no matter how in tune you are with each other it still happens. I was married 27 years and thought we were on the same page, then she walked out.
@@rrmackay it must have been painful. On the bright side it seems almost an impossible story that a woman would stay with you that long! Most women are goldiggers nowadays.
NEEDING someone makes you weak and dependent, KNOWING yourself and making yourself your priority and living a life that is respectful of you and your purpose and goals makes you high value.
I'm 63 and chose to never marry. I'm well educated, over 6 feet tall, earned over six figues for decades and owned my own company. I can speak to anyone, anywhere at any time.
However, I spent 10-12 hours per day making deals, playing politics and resolving issues.
I was NOT willing to play the sort of games most women insist upon. It was not worth my time.
I did meet and date some fascinating women. I never married because living up to their expectations was exhausting.
I wanted someone I could build with, not for. I am NOT a human-shaped ATM and refused to play that part.
I've now retired and live alone on my boat.. now there's a happy ending for you.
Good job man.
@@Just_a_Lad Society end though
@@johngalt6838 who cares, you can't fix it, live your life.
Date whoever you want especially since you are established. Don’t take anyone seriously, but only to meet your wants.
Bro, head to the phillpines and date. Then come back home, and repeat. You'll have the best of both worlds.
The more I learn about dating, the more impossible it seems.
😂
It's not as hard as it seems. It just takes one or more teachers who can simplify it for you. That's what you and all men need.
It's not impossible. If you can accept being with someone that is a close match for you, then try to make it work. After all if you're a close match then it probably should work. But if they arent able to see it that way then that's on them and they arent going to be able to find what they want. Settle with someone that will settle for you. It's humbling.
Leave the country and it will be very possible.
They're making it sound complicated, but really this stuff is obvious if you're thinking about it at all. Sure, feminism muddies the water, but ultimately, if you're not exceptionally short, exceptionally ugly or exceptionally poor, all you really gotta do is be nice, be confident, be _firm,_ and have standards.
The fact is that EVERY aspect of life, every single one, has a million little things to navigate. If your parents didn't prepare you in any way, if you don't have life experience, then everything will be a confusing challenge, from ordering food at the McDonald's counter to picking up packages at the post office.
My observation is that most men are clueless. My parents met on a blind date while both were away at uni. My mother had to ask her friend to ask her boyfriend to encourage my dad to ask my mom on a second date. After 9 months of dating, my mother said to my dad "If this isn't heading towards marriage, I'll need to start dating other men". He asked her then and there. My father admitted he never once thought my mother would ever consider marrying him as she came from a well to do family and he came from a poor one. But my mom always said he was a better man than any she knew from her hometown.
But even my grandmother had to push. She met my grandfather at a party. He was shy. She told him "You should ask me to dance," so he did. After she said "Are you not going to ask me out on a date?" Grandfather did so. After a number of months she asked "When are you planning to ask me to marry you?" He died before I was born so I don't know what he thought but he was a very handsome man, very intelligent, but from a poor family.
Moral of the story. Men, don't underestimate yourself. Women probably grade you better than you think they do. And women, if you find a man you want, forget the subtle hints and hit him with a clue-by-four. It's the only way men know what women actually want.
This story isn't applicable for today, VERY different times for grandpa and grandma.
@@jvo3777Yeah. Now it's BOTH the young men and young women who are clueless and unable to communicate with each other.
@@DarkSyster true. I have no plan to attempt dating again, Jesus is coming so soon anyway.
If only it happened like this in real life :/
Examples refer to past times. Quite a very different environment. Still what this anecdotal stories show is the fact that :
1. It is women, not men, the ones who chose
2. Flirting does not come natural to men, precisely because flirting as we mean it is not a natural human behavior.
You make outstanding points. Thank you. Men need to become indifferent to women. A woman who gets 5 looks an hour is confident and satisfied. Men need to understand that giving a look/attention has no reward. Women desire attention from specific men in their presence. It's a subtle reward game that men don't understand. The reward for her is your attention and nothing else. That says to her "I can have any man." That's all she cares about. Flirting for women is to get attention. If she has to be obvious about flirting the value of the attention is less. Rejecting a man's attention in a public place elevates her value/status even if she would like to engage in conversation with that man.
Men will not be happy with a woman that plays this game. They are in a loop and endorphins are enough. Better for men to not only become a protector/provider but to find a valuable woman. Women playing this game are not valuable. Valuable women do valuable things. Being what used to be called a slut for attention is not valuable.
Obviously, you don't know much about women.
Valuable women don't exist.
@@sypros5621wdym
From my experience there are two types of Hypergamy.
Looks Hypergamy
Financial Hypergamy.
Obviously a Woman would prefer a Man who has both Looks and Finances.
If you fit her financial Hypergamy but she doesn’t find you se*ually attractive, she will step out on you from time to time with someone who does, usually an ex boyfriend.
If you fit her looks Hypergamy but she doesn’t feel you could provide for a family or lifestyle, she will still give you se*ual access to her but she will not commit to you and she will look for someone who can take care of her financially. She will always keep contact with you if you stay looking good and will reach out from time to time to enjoy a good romp, but she won’t commit to you!
So the good looking guy wins because no strings attached sex.
Tbh the last deal does not need to be that bad. Basicly you are describing the chads, if I know she will not commit but will bang I can still do my own thing outside of her. Thats actually not a bad deal, the only one who is losing is the dude she is so called committing to. They are the only one who lose, sex is a reward from a males perspective.
I told this girl, why would I commit and date you for real when you gave it out for free? She did not know what to anwser. Dumped her after she gave other stupid anwsers and now she wants to meet up to talk lol.
Women dual mating strategy is (1) breaking rules for alpfas; and (2) making rules for betas. Being an alpha or a beta is your call cuz it's a mindset.
Genetics and provision.......
Pool boy satisfies her genetic hypergamy.....the millionaire who owns the pool satisfies her provision hypergamy. The pool boy is very temporary and she will likely cash out of the millionaire eventually.
"Women don't care about your struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winners." - Bill Burr
Yes, exactly.
If the female side of selection is that a man is always at risk of being left by her, then there's little to no motivation for him to be involved with a modern woman, who can not manage to value loyalty.
Men are learning.
The problem is that what they are learning is turning them from females for good.
Better to invest that time in a career.
As a 5'2 guy who would get brutally rejected and ridiculed because of his height, i can confidently say i stopped chasing women a while ago, i let them come to me now. Despite this supposed hurdle i have dated, and ALL of the girls i dated came onto me first, started talking to me first and showed interest first, no exceptions, and i decided that is exactly how I'll take things for the rest of my life, unless i somehow magically grow taller. I see myself as the" prize" not the other way around and yeah i want someone worthy to claim me, someone who will appreciate me for me, and if it doesn't happen it's fine, either way i get my happy ending.
You must have an extraordinarily nice face if women are approaching you at 5'2"??
@@bro918 Well, i always get compliments on it, but i doubt it's that great, if it is i don't see it. I hear the word "cute" a lot though...
@@Auren23 Im not sure how much money you make, or how old you are, but im actually a little jealous... Im 2 inches taller than you and no woman has ever complimented my face lol. Yeah i dont think cute is necessarily a good thing coming from a woman... but id take that over nothing lol
@@bro918 Aw hell nah, I'm just 22 and broke lol. And no, cute isn't exactly what you want to hear indeed but hey, if it gets me girlfriends I'm all for it LMAO. Most of my relationships were before i turned 18 though so maybe there's something there? I wouldn't know. I'm currently going through college so maybe I'll have a decent condition in the future, who knows...
@@Auren23 No. Your face must be exceptionally good if you get compliments. Men basically never get any compliments whatsoever. Let alone about physical attractiveness, or from women.
Like Aaron Clarey keeps saying: "Most woman generally don't like most men."
So if you're working from that supposition, everything that's been happening in the last twenty years starts to make sense.
s/o cappy. that guy is a legend. as he says, "do not get married".
The reverse is also true tho.
If it wasn't for sex (and in some cases for parenthood), most men would not see a reason to EVER interact with women.
I like him but overall he's a nihilist. Watch him sparingly if you want to keep a positive attitude towards life.
A lot of the men that find women "confusing" or "impossible to understand" are typically unwilling to accept certain realities about women. If you're fed false axioms and suppositions about women all your life, of course women would seem confusing or impossible to understand when little of their behavior actually logically follows from those axioms. It's only when you accept things about women -- things that a lot of guys don't want to accept -- that women start making more sense and are no more "complicated" than men.
W0men are now *independent.* As in, they don't *need* a man to survive. They work and can survive on their own. So .. what does a man bring to *their* table? Sex. So, w0men are *only* interested in men they (sexually) *want.*
Don't be put off by the challenge of self-improvement. Being a high-value man isn't just about attracting women, it’s about cultivating habits that benefit you personally. It's understandable to feel frustrated, but don't let resentment stop you. Self-discipline and daily growth give you a mental toughness that's invaluable. What’s more, this journey can even lead you to a supportive, high-value woman, making it even more rewarding. It’s not about being in the 'top 10%,' it's about becoming the best version of yourself.
You get it. This is what I've done and I've happily had 80% of my adulthood filled with companionship and love with a woman who gets to witness me grow and age like wine. If your woman can witness your ever-improving situation - she'll want a ticket to ride that train and keep riding and riding and.... 😉
EXACTLY
@@c1s1125 sometimes....she can leave at any setback. Avoid long term and contracts.
@@c1s1125 you got it. I wish all men could do that!! Congratulations!!!
@@c1s1125 improving yourself for a woman is a fools errand, since women will always look for the bigger better deal and leave you when she can
Great info on female hypergamy. That’s why I quit the dating and mating strategy decades ago. Better to be informed and not participate at all then to get shafted by being naive
glad that you left mate
A masculine problem solving method projected on to women . I love it
Nah, this episode is inherently dumb and his inexperience with women is very obvious this time
@@theravenousrabbit3671give evidence for this
I don't think that is the angle here. This is for men to solve by understanding how women today, mate and to break the two misconceptions about their mating practices strongly held by us.
What's the solution tho
@@jirensentry7609my writing is poor. I am saying what you are saying . We project our thought processes on to them. Then we are resentful if they don’t act how we think they should.
As someone who sucked with women in my 20s but still worked on my body and career, now that I'm in my 30s and get lots of attention from women i refuse to settle down because i worked my a$$ off to get where i am now just so a women who wouldn't look my way in my 20s can benefit from me, fk that, i tell young men all the time to work on themselves and not focus on women at all
why not get over that resentment and enjoy the spoils of your success?
If they weren't ride or die chicks during your grind, then they don't deserve you during your prime.
@@stevejhkhfda he is, by not settling.
any tips for a 27 old man ?
Is 27 old?
Single women at 20: "Don’t talk to me!”
Single women at 30: “Somebody please talk to me!”
Single women at 40: “Hey! I’m talking to you!”
Single women at 50: “Here Kitty, Kitty.”
Classic!
XD
Wow your mother failed you. I'm so sorry.
@@chicbateI'm sorry the truth hurts honey.
a bunch of socially awkward men who whine like little boys doesn't hurt me sweetie @@caliburxzero
Hi Dr. Orion. My name is Don. Thank you so much for the bitter pill to swallow, it was necessary and very encouraging. I'm on a path to learning how to be better with women and to be more confident in the process. Thanks for the video and I hope you have an amazing day.
This was a phenomenal video. Very thorough and pragmatic breakdown with real life examples. Keep doing what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. Great watch 👍🏾
Airline pilot, make $450-$500K a year, working 12 days a month... drive a new Porsche 911, 6'0 tall, 52 and fit... and I still struggle to get the quality of women I want... yes, occasionally I do get them, but it's A LOT of work and failure upon failure ... numbers game.
But you’re 52 man. Who are you competing for? Are you muscular fit or just not fat fit?
Should be super easy in a poorer country. Pretty sure you'd need vajine repellent if you went to a hotel bar in a Latin American country in that sweet flight jacket uniform, especially if you're European ancestry.
Alot of ppl would love to be where you are... At least you're enjoying life
@@Aright231 Agreed - this bloke is probably deluded and thinks he's younger than what he is.
You have to be joking brother.
4:46 Dr. Orion you said "Hypergamy primarily benefits men."
Hypergamy primarily benefits THE 10% of men that reach that level.
Current hypergamy is devastating to the western society.
Good productive members of society men can not get good faithful wives and start and maintain families.
Women by their own choice prefer to be 304s and part of a harem of a 10% man (that can be a bad role model/criminal)
And we have many children brought up by single mothers (by choice!) and we know the statistics of how that is going.
I'll help you think. If you want to lift 200lbs. Your first day in the gym you find that you cannot lift that much. So, you set out to improve yourself. This is called self-improvement. So to overcome the barrier of hypergamy, men are motivated to improve themselves. Which benefits the man when he works to improve himself. Hpergamy benefits ALL men who try.
The prevalence of delusion of high self worth in western women (aka im 10, everyone beautiful), causes hypergamy to be devastating. Up to 1960s women instinctively knew whom can they get to force to commit in case of pregnancy - that was grounding the hypergamy. Now their hypergamy thanks to the birth control extends to the very top, way past upper tier of men the woman can get to commit.
@@peaceonearth8693 I get the general idea you are trying to tell but it is NOT 100% correct.
A lot of men that try develop mental illness.
Some want to take shortcuts (steroids for body or aggressive trading/crypto/gambling for the money part)
All these things can lead to catastrophic results.
Men are doing plastic surgery.
So current hypergamy does NOT benefit everyone that tries.
Women have always been hypergamous even in the “good ol’ days” but within reason.
That is why I am using the term “current” hypergamy.
It is out of control!
They side chicks
Some of those good productive men who can’t get wives or let alone sex…have a potential for turning violent for not getting their sexual needs met…and that’s a huge problem for society, young men that have nothing to lose and feeling disrespected by society…not a good look
My man speaks FACTS!! Blessed to come across this channel... Huge LOVE & RESPECT from India. ❤️🇮🇳❤️
I'm thankful for you bro, you have no idea how much we needed to hear this.
I'll share my story about hypergamy. I've grown disgusted because of it due to women hiding their existing relationship. Women will walk up, talk until they like me, and then start flirting with me. When I show I am not interested and they finally take the hint, I will then hear them talking with another women about their existing boyfriend. Apparently deception and Infidelity, as I see it, are perfectly acceptable to certain women as long as they benefit.
I believe once you the see the true nature of what women are capable of, you can never go back. I’ve been with both married women and women in LTRs. If her needs aren’t met, she’ll meet up with a dude on the side and the boyfriend/husband will never find out.
Brutal.
I've never met a truly "single" woman in my adult life. He might not give her a title but someone is *filling a void* in her life. Just understand it's all in the game and it's in their nature to monkey branch. It's written in their firmware.
Ive met a few man from the top of the food chain and them are disgusted and dont trust MOST OF THE FEMALES they met. And those guys used to fuck many. But the more their in the game, the more they disgust.
Briffault’s law
you will always find out, sometimes sooner sometimes later.
You can clearly see the hints when they change behaviour and the fact that we are living in a world where every human is on the phone all the time its hard to hide. If they have to hide something from you on their phone you will clearly notice
I am a retired man who was never married, lived with a woman, or had any children. I am not rich; however, I live comfortably on my own terms. I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap! I will emphasize to all the younger men that whatever you can provide will NEVER BE ENOUGH - make the right choices!
Even though I'm in my mid 30s I'm heading your way, I just don't need the drama and the stress. Planning to buy myself a house near the sea this year and live my life there.
" I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap!" unfortunatelly we ALL are involved for example by taxes (they want more and more so they can even push a law working with simps to rob others and give it to them (females). calculate whos paying taxes and who is taking most benefits from those taxes and filter it by gender
its like black and white
they are better in manipulation so they manipulate system into benefiting them robbery
As an experienced divorce attorney who handles high asset divorces, you are correct. Whatever you can provide to most women will never be enough. I have seen cases where multi millionaire entrepreneurs give the wife an incredible lifestyle, but she is “not happy” and files for a no fault divorce. There are a few exceptions but they are rare.
This isn't a good position. You've really lived for nothing. This is the dead end way.
Absolutely.
I really appreciate your work , you break everything down to a science. When I can’t explain to other people my issues with dating you are the perfect mediator . THANK YOU
Very insightful, thank you. The last two minutes are golden.
It is a bitter pill, yes. If I had known as a young man how this all actually worked, I would have never pursued women at all. The pursuit of women has cost me more than any other activity in life. I, like so many men, fell prey to the gaslighting that society fed me that any barrier that I might perceive was something I could overcome. The analogy that I call forward is having every person of influence in your life telling you that even though you are 5' 4" tall, the only thing standing between you and a career in the NBA is cultivating a positive attitude. The truth is bitter, but it is not as cruel as the alternative of magical thinking.
Big business benefits when you buy gifts, presents & drinks for a women who friend zoned you the moment she met you. Government benefits through taxes. It’s all a big game bro. That’s why the black pill is “toxic” and the “blue pilled” way of thinking is the societal norm.
@@Buddyboyo7 Just stand up straight, take a shower, have confidence and women will be all over you. If you fail, try, try, try again.
Make sure you pay as much tax in the mean time.
Same. I am know on disability. I will not work in an economony, which I am not benefiting form.
Being a bad boy will overcome any height problems, I guarantee you. Can't count how many babes I've seen with shorter guys, as long as they look like li'l Wayne wanna-be's, everything her Dad doesn't want her to date. Wear a baseball cap backward, let your pants sag, say stupid things and give the impression you think you're being a wise-ass, clever & funny. Tell her car-jacking stories, and joke about burning civilization down. She'll want to 'fix' you - eventually - but first she just wants to enjoy being seen with you. Women turn shit-for brains for the bad boy.
@@Subhumanoid_don't forget a haircut and respecting women
The problem I have with accepting "grind to be top 10% men" idea is that if it's not sustainable for the majority of the society, then I can't treat it as if it were. That's why I think I'd rather forego the grind than do that, or meet a woman with low hypergamous drive - they do exist, but ironically obviously they're not to be found where hypergamous women do gather (clubs, dating apps, etc...) and they mostly check out of the dating game early.
It just feels ridiculous to me because only 10% can be top 10%. Therefore, the strategy is not viable for the society. I can hear "why care about the society, just be top 10%", but that's just not gonna work coz it's gonna result in say 30% of men trying to be 10%. It's gonna keep making people unhappy, both men and women 😊
Counterpoint, women are goofy. That "top %10" is totally contextual. They really have no clue what they want most of the time. Just be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck bro 👍
Yeah people have no basic logic
This is where the slightly autistic male brain reaches it's limits. Attraction is not a math equation. Women aren't comparing stats (they're also not comparing bank accounts; at least the sane ones are not.)
Women want security, so they compare you're ability to provide security to that of the next man. Just as you are comfortable dating a "pretty enough" woman. A woman is comfortable (and content) dating a "secure enough" man. You don't have to be in the top10%, no matter how many gold digger horror stories you've heard. But 10% is a good goal to strive for nonetheless. Just don't get obsessed. Again, this is like a woman obsessed with looking like an instagram model, because she thinks this is the only way for her man to stay loyal. Then you have women just giving up on looking decent at all, because "they don't want to compete"....
Don't fall victim to this deluded mindset. Compete, but don't obsess. Life is balance.
Good luck
@@rocstarang5747 right look the tinder swindler....
Non hypergamous women = unattractive. That's the trade-off. No thank you.
Glad you did this video. My own experience: I don't check all the boxes that women are supposed to want. I was in school at place where men outnumbered women 7:1. To say it was competitive was an understatement. It took a couple years to learn what to do. It never felt easy though it got better. Mainly knowing how to show enough interest to get s woman's attention without showing too much and scaring her off, and probably more importantly letting things develop say s peace that let the woman think it was her idea. Learning how to recognize when there was sexual tension building. I was also close friends and confident of a lot of women. I don't know being in the friend zone was a bad thing. Those relationships gave me some insight into how women think. Then l graduated, making a fair amount of money. I remember thinking l liked the women l was with when l was a broke student more than the women i attracted when l showed up with the BMW.
Even more decades later women are still a mystery. But things like this video do a lot explain the behavior i encountered.
I think the most important thing is to realize, it's like a game, and women want you but they can find a thousand different reasons to run away. Like hunting or fishing you have to be patient but know when it's time to act, and always persistent .
Talk to stranger females and ask them direct questions to dispel "the mystery" of being a woman. Men could understand, if they made an effort to find out. Women you don't know are a better place to start - because they are bamboozled to. Life is not working out how feminism said it would, despite legal changes.
Walking away is men's superpower.
Not only is it an act that women can't control, it is also extremely damaging in that it's the ultimate rejection which they can't handle.
My girl and I were discussing the rocky relationships that we could see amongst our friends. In that context I simply stated that I'd walk away from it all, not engage.
This was a bombshell to her, she interpreted this as a major threat to her/us - whereas all I was doing was highlighting a hypothetical example.
Oh dear, she was spinning out of control and imagining it to be a reality, she just couldn't process it.
Jesus.
Rejecting women is massive for them.
I think it boils down to gender differences in how men and women interpret and resolve issues.
Generally, when conflict arises, men prefer to retreat into their safe space to prevent further escalation whereas women prefer to engage and discuss over it in order to find solutions.
I think your girl wasn’t interpreting your response as a rejection to her as a person; perhaps, she interpreted your walking away as disinterest in not willing to resolve potential relationship issues that may occur in the future.
This may imply insecurity in the relationship both of you share. Since she values the relationship she shares with you, it is understandable that it may have invoked feelings of anxiety (although it is a hypothetical situation in a certain context, it may happen in reality).
You just need to reassure her that no matter the differences in how both of you respond to conflicts, there will be an amiable solution for the both of you.
Perhaps, you may feel puzzled over how women think. Generally, women tend to possess a more emotional mindset and men tend to possess a more logical mindset.
Of course, I’m making general assumptions although it seems that your girl may fit into this assumption.
Tinder only works when you swipe left. If you only swipe right, then you don't establish a preference and thus get the bottom of the barrel. @@melenico4512
"The juice is not worth the squeeze." This captures my sentiments towards women. Even if I meet the criteria most women have, they will make up more requirements and just give me a headache. I can get sex easily, but dealing with women for much more than that tends to be tiresome.
Exact thing I tell my friends but most don't get it. I'll add that even with sex, many aren't worth the hassle.
It's important to note that the prize for checking a laundry list of attractive traits is a modern woman.
It is only worth it if, and only if, you are becoming a better catch for yourself and only for yourself. You need to focus on you and I will tell any one, guy or gal, to do the same thing. No one gives guys anything.
Yup, you're better off just deciding in what ways you want to "grow" so that your growth is actually beneficial to yourself, instead of trying to "grow" to attract women and hope that as a byproduct you might get some personal benefit from such growth.
@@robertsteinbach7325 Agreed. Live for yourself and not for women.
Even if you become a high value man, the juice is not worth the squeeze. One of the most uncomfortable things to accept is that women are not worth it, even if you are attractive. Put yourself first fellas, let go of the idea of some dream woman who you need.
You are absolutely right
Well what if that woman gave you a son? Would that be worth it? She has to do some squeesing to!
👶
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
@@sigurdopheim3626
Then she'll want child support.
Dig that saying ay
I’ve just chain watched 4 of ur vids, this is such a wealth of info and as you stated, young guys like myself get insight into female psychology that only the Casanovas of the past would have had. Thank you for your content. Keep posting you earned a sub with the first vid i watched!
Hey Doc you thumbnail artwork is pretty cool! thanks
Another thing to note about women’s sexual selection is that they select men that are relatively high value, as in, they pick the best men available to them at that time. If you get a room with ten women and ten men, nine of whom are trash and one man is average, those ten women will look at the average guy like he’s a Greek god. Conversely, change those ten men to where nine of them are exceptional men, and the other man is slightly better than the rest by 1 percent and he will be looked at as a Greek god, while the other men will literally be treated the same by women as below average men would. This is why I balk at this movement in the Manosphere to push for all men to get better because it doesn’t change the rules, it just makes it harder for men to compete.
Optimization algorithms: women.
I agree. I have said before you can be a "contextual alpha" based on your environment. I've always been a catch but there are friends I never go out with to talk to girls for example, because I know I can't compete lol! A man must know his limitations 😁
Finally someone who got the root of the problem.
Its impossible for everybody to be top 10%, because it is a position that by deafult, excludes 90%
@@rocstarang5747 You've said this before to whom? who are you and why are you quoting YOURSELF to a bunch of strangers? Have you written a book, or have a podcast or some level of competency above us? or are you an average dude too? LMAO ( if I have told men once, i have told them a thousand times, but they just wont listen! ha ha ha)
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 I am willing to 'sacrifice' my share of the women to those Nigerian princes! Have at 'em, boys!
What women say they want, what women want and what they respond to are completely different things. They say they want a guy in touch with emotion but as soon as we show it, they naturally see us as weak. Stick to your guns gentlemen. Be yourself, if she doesn't like you, she's not the one
This isn't a woman thing, it's a people thing.
@@lumiere3619 no. It’s a vvoman thing.
i dont know how u people find it okey to group women like they all say the same thing and thing the same things
@@musashi542 - Because it’s easier than naming the seven or eight exceptions every single time.
It’s funny to me how We can sit down and watch a National Geographic documentary on the lifestyle or mating habits of the African elephant, the orangutan, or the meerkat, and say to ourselves, “see how they act? That’s very interesting…. We might even watch a special on the Pygmies in The jungles of South America and discuss what we’ve learned about them at the water cooler the next morning..
But as soon as we share observations about Western vvomen, we get some nut that stands up and says NAWALT! Well guess what … AWALT!
Perhaps instead of avoiding accountability in today’s society, vvomen should conduct them selves like adults, observe their behavior patterns and perhaps take some steps toward self improvement now and again. Men, Orcas and many other species do it all of the time. Why can’t vvomen? Why is their first line of defense, “NAWALT” or “Men do it too!”? 🤦♂️
PS. Now you know why those “u people” that you grouped together - do it. ;)
@@tamuman93 so we can group all men as ra**sts, wife beaters... and its alright according to you ?
You are the man! Appreciate your work and ideas!
Just discovered this channel.....this guy is good. Solid and truthful facts superbly conveyed. Well done.
The purpose of meeting a woman's hypergamous criteria is you have more choice in who you date, that's it. It doesn't mean you are guaranteed a girlfriend or that you can't get a girlfriend without those things. You can. It just dramatically improves your odds.
But more importantly it makes your life better as a man, which should be the ultimate goal here.
But does it make you happy? Essentially, you are grinding to meet someone's criteria, but do they meet yours? Things will change when men actively start playing hypergamy game as well.
@@00_UU there was a time in human history that this was happening for thousands of years. Be careful what you wish.
@@GeotouuotoeG be careful because? How is this bad for men?
@@00_UU because of patriarchy men did what they wanted so women were oppressed. Now it is men who feel a form of oppression which is also partly because men dominated the past. Tomorrow it will be men again then women to a never ending circle. Balance is a utopia. People are idiotic and shellfish organisms.
Its all about pure, raw, phyisical attraction when it comes to hooking up with women. Period. I'm a former Chippendales dancer, so i saw this unfold, in real time, every single show. A lot of women were willing to throw away their relationship for one night with us. And they were the ring leaders in the debauchery. Not saying we were angels either, dont get me wrong. But there were many instances where we've had to stop it from happening. But that being said, this is an EXTREME case that less than 1% of men will ever experience.
Raw physical attraction gets you access but doesn't necessarily keep them around. Women are just as happy as men are to use a person as a sex object and throw them away once they get bored.
That said, I've had an alarming number of married women and women in relationships try to sleep with me. It makes me so sad for the men in their lives that I eventually developed a policy that I no longer sleep with women in relationships. I know how it makes that man feel and also I couldn't risk eventually taking some crazy guy's girl and having my house lit on fire.
@Joseph-C Yeah the women at these shows were freaking nuts. And every single time, there were multiple different women that were ready and willing to hook up. Anywhere. It Didn't matter if they were married, engaged, had a boyfriend, young, old, or their race. They all acted the same.
@@handsomeX Based on your photograph and name, I really believe you. No judgement.
@@handsomeX However, you must factor in countries that aren't as developed as Western countries. In my country we were once ranked as "The most beautiful people in the world". But due to our economics, women value security faaaaar more than the exterior of the man
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju and that's how it should be - security, reliability and trust. Comfortable Western life decayed all of those words in modern relationships. Bad relationship decisions of w3men are encouraged, while men are constantly portrayed as evil and st00pid on TV.
An incredible truth!
You clearly and intelligently state what we men think.
Very interesting. I've never heard it explained this way. Thank you.
Starting a relationship with a good woman is extremely difficult, but once a foundation has been built, it's more about consistency and doesn't require the extreme expectations that many insinuate from talks like this. A good woman will make your life much better, the problem is, like there are only so many men in the top 10%, there are only so many good women and they're almost always taken by their late 20s, usually earlier.
It's a human problem, not strictly a female problem. This is where stoicism is so useful. Control what you can, be self-aware and improve what you reasonably can, and put yourself in places where you could meet someone. But know you can do everything right and never meet someone worth spending your life with. That's all a man can do. You have a high chance of dying alone and childless, so do something fulfilling with your time, doing that thing is also what gives your a greater shot at attracting a good woman.
The thing is,if you're a top 20%er then women are much more tolerant of your inconsistencies. It is impossible to be consistent all the time. When women hit the wall, it's why they become so tolerant and keep themselves around even through troubling times. They don't have much for options. But when you're just above average and you slip up in any aspect, the clock starts ticking rapidly and everyone else starts looking like a better option to them than you.
Saying that it's extremely difficult is still selling it short. You literally have less than 1 in a 1000 chance for that to happen and that's if you're pretty high up on the men list yourself. If not...just forget it.
@@HenrySomeone In spite of the way cokebottles frames his argument (which I found very persuasive), you do not end up with one chance at this. There are uncountable variables at work every single day, and each reasonable instance is a new chance.
A big shout out to the pickup community. They, more than any group, identified and presented this information. And the response to hypergamy or the strategies have also been identified. GAME.
Exactly this is how you deal with inauthenticity and NPCs who don't know how to be their genuine selves
I agree that the response to hypergamy is to decide that it's not worth it and just game instead.
Pickup artists?? Dude you’re lame 😂
Evolutionary psychologists contributed way more than pick up artists.
The wiser response is being happy single.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s was thinking that money would equate to more women. I hit 6 figures and tried to use my career to bolster my self esteem. High value men must hit all check boxes, warrior , king, magician and lover. I’m his takes time, countless failures and patience. This is why younger women tend to be attracted to older men, they have done the work
Max 5 to 10 years older. Beyond that, no.
@@Nordic_Sky No. I am 46, I had a 27 year old offer herself for a long term relationship months ago. It all depends on the man and his success.
Good on you. It can happen, but if she's hot and in demand, very rare. @@ClarkeIllmatical
@@ClarkeIllmatical How much of that was genuine attraction and how much was gold digging though? I've really almost never seen the former stretch much past a 10 year difference, no matter how good looking the guy was.
@@HenrySomeone It's the guy, really. Also, you'll learn that MOST women are gold diggers to a degree. Your mother, my mother, the man provided and the woman provided her body.
Appreciate the clarity and candor! Thanks.
The problem with aiming to be a "high-value man" through the eyes of women is that some characteristics considered attractive have little to no benefit to your life.
Take physical exercise as an example. If you are a short and skinny looking guy, this might serve you well when running marathons, if that's what you're into. However, most women would never consider you to be at the top of the attraction pyramid. You should do an activity that you enjoy and to promote a healthy life style, but if you let hypergamy guide your motivation, you may end up doing activities you hate for a superficial reason.
health, status, wealth, fitness are all good things for men....outside of it's alignment with attraction of females.
The point is, most things that are attractive to women are also beneficial from an objective pov. Exercising, being social, dressing well, making money will all improve your life. Almost all kinds of physical exercise are better than no exercise at all. Of course if you're ectomorphic/skinny, you should focus on lifting weights. You can learn to enjoy the stress of weightlifting. I'm speaking from experience. Once you learn to enjoy the discomfort, you've unlocked a new level in life.
The shorter you are, the worse you are at running. Also marathon runners are not ‘skinny’, they’re slim. They have plenty more muscle than the average person.
@@Shuflin I used skinny to refer to looks. And no, long distance runners tend to be shorter. Great marathon runners over the magical 6 feet tall (the bare minimum for many ladies) are rare.
@@okaySam If you take those aspects in a broader sense, yes, they may be beneficial to you. However, women operate like Procrustes. And their standards tend to go up with time.
Exercising is only attractive if it leads to a certain body type. Dressing well to impress women may be totally unnecessary for the man's professional life and requires some time and money. Making money is not what women really seek; it's men manking surplus money to spend on them.
A man can live a satisfying and healthy life while being unnatractive to the average overweight single mother. Turning into a Ken doll may make some men happier, but it is not the ultimate path all shall follow. Women's maladaptive attraction be damned.
I've noticed a weird paradox where women seem interested in guys who don't care about getting laid and ignore guys who do want to get laid.
It's not a paradox at all.
@@supremelordoftheuniverse5449 How so?
@@danielhuelsman76 First of all, keep in mind women's sexual strategy is selfish, so to her, it doesn't matter what you want. So, from her perspective, when a man is chasing her, she can sense it and will interpret it as neediness, lack of options, which in turn means he is low value. In the other hand, a man that doesn't demonstrate interest is not only intriguing, but also comes accross as confident, showing he's has other priorities and possibly other options when it comes to women (which pre-vetts him as a good mate by proxy) and makes him the prize, the one with higher status, the one to be chased. And that challenge attracts woman.
@@supremelordoftheuniverse5449 How about the idea of asexuality being sexually alluring, would that qualify as a paradox to you?
@@danielhuelsman76 its not asexuality. it's sexual indifference. it's the difference between asexual "I don't want to have sex with you." and indifferent "I might or might not have sex with you, depending on how much I like you. I haven't decided" vs the thirsty "I want you baby. oh please oh please have sex with me."
The focus is the relative value between guy and guy. If she thinks he's lower value, she's not interested. If she thinks he's higher value, she's interested. If the guy is "meh. I don't know about you. I mean you're cute and all...buuuut..." is basically saying "you're okay. but I've seen better." which flips the script on who's qualifying to who.
You really hit the biggest problem on the right spot. I would love to watch longer videos about these topics. I honestly think they are a little to short.
I agree with this.
Probably the most important thing about attracting women is masculinity, making them feel comfortable with you to the point where they’re sharing personal information and freely touching you. Confidence that’s casual… banter/humor and flirting.
But, the bottom line in order to get them to fall in love quickly, is you have to be able to give them a penetration orgasm by understanding how and what puts them over the edge during the act. That oxytocin rules their minds on burning desire.
In order to get to that, you have to make them feel safe on a lot of levels… freedom from judgement, humor, sharing your thoughts and experiences while also listening to them… eye contact, and innuendo-flirting.
Your money, job and cars won’t get you any burning desire… just opportunity.
here's what he DIDN'T tell you hypergamy NEVER goes away. Once she knows she has you. She'll begin to look around to see if she can do better.
Yes, it's the way things should be. And there's benefits to that, cause women have to up their game constantly which ultimately will benefit men. Women learned that of men. men are always looking around, aren't they? Two can play that game. Men can dish it, but can't take it.
@@chelsy2255 Here's the deal Chelsy. Some folks here talk about men and women. Some folks talk about men, women and family/common law. Still, others live in a grey zone where they are influenced by the laws of the nation in their thoughts and behaviours, but do not understand the difference between the 2 way or 3 way relationship that we are all engaged in and how it affects their own inner dialogue.
Girls need to, need to! understand the courts do not care what is in your pants. This discussion is about who provides, not about who is a man or woman. Many, many normal every day women have to take days off work so that their wages are not taken by some random boyfriend they moved in with for a few months that had kids.
If you enter this subject thinking about men and women you put yourself in grave danger, especially if you have a job. This is not a game when you grow up and have earnings. If you have earnings and your spouse does not, the courts could enslave you and ruin your whole life.
You can have skin in the game or not, your choice. Stay safe!
nope. men benefit from living simple lives of blissful tranquility, not "upping their game". @@chelsy2255
cuz he is one of those ''buy my course to attract the other gender'' dudes
of course he doesnt say the whole picture truthfuly, he needs to market it, after all he is in that game of psychology and marketing cuz market psychology doesnt change.
sadly he has made good points but he still hasnt answered my one concern and problem.
which is "How do we kill hypergamy so it stops pushing these problems"
none of this ''hypergamy is for you,hypergamy is good"" bullshet applies, if a man wants to be the best version of himself he will do it regardless of being pushed by women's sexual selection or not. he misses that. i see more problems from hypergamy than positives.
he made only 1 valid point, hypergamy pushes men to become a better version of themselves, YEAH only the 10% it works, how is it good if it only applies to the 10% of the population? hint, ITS NOT.
how about we ask how much collateral problem we get from a societal point, infidelity/amoral principles/kids born out of wedlock with single mothers, creating a sick generation.
guess what? he doesnt tackle that, cuz that doesnt go with his narrative.
he is very good psychological manipulator, he doesn't attack hypergamy for what it truly is ( an inferior, bad cope survival mechanism ) but makes sure to complement it so women will take his course of course. (marketing purposes)
yeah i dont buy it.
@@chelsy2255 it won't, what he said in the video, is basicaly a key word narrative to hit naive and narrowheads like yourself,
to explain you, no matter how much you up your game it wont benefit you because you are in the same loop you started from, you will chase and chase with no end until you will become old and still think what went wrong.
the sooner men realise the game cannot be won, the sooner you will stop playing the game and the sooner hypergamy dies.
I wish videos like this existed when I was a young man, but my entire life, I was lied to. When these truths started to finally come out about ten years ago, I was already who I was, and past a certain point, change is nearly impossible. To point #1, I find that the pursuit of becoming a high value man is in direct conflict with attempting to approach women; there is a fixed time trade-off, and pursuit of women takes time away from building status. The final point is the truth; I remember when I first started dating in the 1990s, the bar was much, much lower than it is today. Dating apps were not a thing, heck, cell phones and email were not a thing when I started dating. The shift towards most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of men, to now most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of women hadn't happened yet. Men need superior status to a woman to date that woman; but as woman have greatly increased their own social status in the last 30 years, the bar that they are looking for a man to clear has skyrocketed. That's why men are walking away, it's not that we think the juice isn't worth the squeeze, it's that there is no way in hell it actually is.
"most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of the top few percent of men or women" < there, ifify
Many women and pretty women still have average or below average jobs...So, women's, hypergamy is still beneficial for BOTH...
Except women do not want an average men with a good income unless he is also tall and good looking. Otherwise he has to basically be rich. Men are are better forgeting about women.
Earned yourself another subscriber. Keep up the good content
I Love This Guy! He says radical things in an eloquent way.
It definitely sounds like a lose lose for men. My personal experience doesn’t feel as bleak, even as an obese man but I only proximity dated so my conversation always helped with a subset that really enjoy that trait over others.
I wouldn’t try to date today if my life depended on it. Because I have felt a shift towards misandry in casual interactions. I’m not friendly to people who assume the worst in me constantly. Easier for me to walk away than be demonized.
long relationships tend to be lose-lose for men. if it doesn't work out you could end up losing your money, house and kids in divorce. if it does work out, she will end up moaning, complaining, causing drama and chaos, and you lose access to other women. the juice isn't worth the squeeze, gentlemen.
I crave sex too much to ever stop dating, but I've also picked up on the shift you talk about. I've slept with ten women in the past year and only three of them did not hold what could politely be called questionable attitudes towards men. The rest were flagrant or closeted misandrists who viewed men like Christian fundamentalists view humans: tainted by Original Sin.
I feel sorry for the young men growing up in this world. I remember what it was like to date in the early 2000s. Men were not judged for being men and women did not approach them with a mixture of contempt, hypocrisy and greed.
One of the woman I slept with earlier in the year came to my city on holiday from abroad. She was clearly in a relationship - writing lightning fast texts to her partner when I was paying for drinks or going to the toilet. She expected me to pay for everything even though she proudly told me how much she earns - about 50% more than me. I footed the bill because I knew she'd put out, which she did, but she stopped me in the act because she realised she was making a mistake and high-tailed it out of my place soon after.
I laughed my ass off at that. Just imagine how deluded and disingenuous you have to be to do all of those things and STILL present yourself as a victim. This woman worked for one of the world's largest banks, was privately educated from a young age, and had a celebrity dentist for a father (clients including Hollywood actors).
@@davesmith826 thanks for sharing bro, you wrote with experience and wisdom, most of the guys share only to flex about how many women they get
So you basically treated a woman in a relationship like a prostitute, plying her with drink to get her to drop 'em, then think its her attitude problem when she comes to her senses in time before you can spray her with whatever you've picked up by having ten throwaway liasons per year?
@@cisvaughan6937 I didn't 'treat' her to anything. She came to me looking for sex, not the other way around, and she did so by setting up a temporary profile on a dating app. She lined a date up with me within a *day* of arriving in my city and she was only here for a week. I'd love to hear your justification for that lapse of judgement. As for alcohol, I didn't 'ply' her with anything - I actually suggested a meal - but she wanted drinks instead, so I went along. Nor did I 'spray' her with anything as I practise safe sex - the only spraying would have been on and into latex, had it come to that.
Have you got any more cliches up your sleeve? Your attempt to paint me as the problem in this situation is really very amusing. It's *precisely* what I meant about original sin - men are always the problem, even when they clearly are not.
As a professional musician I pull them easily, even now in my 50s. I have learned to keep it brief and move on. When they discover what a sweetheart I actually am, not an aloof rock god, their attraction usually dies.
hmmm, that might be the case that they are just shitty humans
Loving the archetype....not you.
A sweetheart who uses language like 'pull them easily'....not exactly my definition of a sweetheart
@ninamartin1084 I don't care what you think. You're a random ignorant person on CZcams. You exist in near-infinite abundance.
one of your best videos man, thanks for sharing
Fascinating. You got me thinking again. Thank you brother.
yea struggle, work your ass off 20 years to build up a career, high salary, get jacked, become the top 10%.. only to get something she has been handing over for free to clowns each night..
And she will divorce you.....at that point you just have enough money to survive it.
this right here….😭😭😭😭
Are you angry with her, or the clowns?
8:13 The only “easy” women are the low value, problematic borderline/bipolar ones with daddy issues - or those needy/insecure/immature ones. Not worth it.
Worth it for a quick slam n scram.
False, if you are high value or position yourself as high value, some genuinely good women become "easy." They'll do things with you they wouldn't do with lesser men.
What a great breakdown! Love this
No one has ever said it like this. Thanks alot. This is indeed very helpful
My way of dating is to not be disappointed in a woman who shows her true self and i dont like it. Being honest and sometimes brutality honest while also trying to be successful and she'll either stand by you and support you or she'll get tired of you in the first month. Honesty is the best filter
Rightly said. That is the original purpose of dating, to see if there is compatibility for a long-term relationship. If it isn't going to work out at least you know early on.
Exactly. It’s a false dichotomy to say it’s blackpill or bluepill. You can be honest and focus exclusively on improving what you can control.
This video is like a winning lottery ticket and/or almost every sentence of it hits like a lightning bolt! Seriously, it's so accurate and useful that it should be made mandatory in schools wherever possible!!!! THIS _is_ the real deal ‘bout gender senzitization/awareness. Thank you very much and congratulations!
😂
In my opinion this is a blue pill video. Most men can't get to the top 5-10% club in women's term. You will be usually either too ugly or too short. It's now mostly about looks. Hypergamy don't benefit men. It's only benefiting the very top percentage of men. And that top percentage base only on women definition. You can be top 1% by men's definition, and they still prefer to date broken model, or handsome tall drug diller. Avoid being best version of yourself just to attract woman. This is usually genetic contest. Nothing about your passions, hobbies, intelligence or spirit.
man out here preaching words worth gold
This was brilliant. I came into this not expecting much or perhaps a RedPill/whiny answer like most CZcams videos, but this was amazing. You are knowledgeable and articulate in the top 10% if not 1% like Jordan peterson.
57, never married, never cared. I like what I do, I have friends, I live as I please. I figured I'd let my friends get married first, and see how it turned out for them. Almost to a one, the marriages disintegrated, leaving broken families, asymmetrical parental influence, etc. Live for your own interests, and if someone wants to join you on part of your journey, great. Stay true to your path.
The only thing worse than someone criticizing how you spend your time or money - is actually caring what they think.
True that
We are lacking something.
Well in fact, someone. We-need-Jesus
This was a depressing talk. Thanks for it anyway
Honestly. It's all way too much of a hassle to me. I (man, 38 y/o) had 2 relationships in my life. Even though they were the most stressful frustrating times of my lives, i'm still glad i've got the experiences of having intimate relationships with women. There were also good sides to it and i've learned a lot.
But having said that, when i hear what it takes to be a suitable man for a woman to choose me, i don't like having to do that for another person. I mean, i work to improve myself on many levels, but that's for me. I don't like the idea that a woman likes me because of all that i've accomplished. I would like a woman to just like - dare i say love - me for me. I am capable of that, why wouldn't a woman be? But i've been redpilled a while ago and just do not see this happening, knowing better the nature of women now.
Man, i sound mighty pessimistic, don't i! Might look like i'm depressed, but i'm actually not. Last relationship was 1,5 years ago now. I won't lie: at times i miss the intimacy, but there's so much more that i definitely do not miss! I'm just glad that i'm a guy and on top of that an introvert. I'm fine on my own. You guys can have these women.
You sound like you have the rare natural gift of self-respect. Each time I notice another guy, who claims to be a successful alpha-male, talking a lot about female's desires I can't take him seriously anymore.
Once you get over the grief of knowing that the connection you want can never exist, women just lose all appeal. I can't even feel attraction anymore, and I don't ever want to. The only reason I clean the pipes once a month is so I don't have to clean the sheets
@@Tom-vq2hw The same seems to happen to me. I just don't look at women like that anymore. Outward pretty female appearance: doesn't faze me. First because it's all gone in a few years, second because a part of it is just make-up and third because there can be a truly nasty creature of a woman behind that. The only way i can probably feel attraction again is by seeing true feminine character/qualities in a woman.
Maybe a bit TMI but i recognise the cleaning the pipes instead of having to change the sheets. After a while though, that last bit just stopped with me. Could be my age (38, almost 39 now), could also be the duration of no-f@p and the overcoming of my addiction to lust (be it through pr0n/f@pping/s@x with women). My mind isn't occupied with it anymore, so my body also stopped with it i guess.
You NAILED IT!
I understand the female selection process perfectly.
As long as they need something from you, you're in but every guy hopes that it's sex. When it's not sex, you'll get used for your utility, money, work, influence etc. You'll get used until she gets what she wants or the guy stops giving her what she wants.
Relationships are DEAD!
Then she has the option to divorce you and get a nice big payout for you having married her.
but facts
Not necessarily. We just have to learn how to steer our boats EARLIER in life, as in get good fatherly advice. I had zero, literally zero, but at last taught myself how to steer. You've GOT to be equally good with no partner as you are with the right one, should she come along. The wrong one? Jibe or tack, brothers; move on, move away. And stay universes away from the hookup game.
Spoken like the attitude of a true toddler. Grow up!🙄😏
70% of women are liberal and woke 🤣 70% ... Men are 70% conservative more even... We miles
apart and it will NEVER be forgotten or forgiven what the female vote has ushered in. 70% wokeness in women and you wanna say "just keep at it". They going to die alone in hookup culture sharing Chad and his simps as men will not settle for shit
When initiated as a means to win the game of women's hypergamy, the path to self-improvement is likely to become a lost cause. By the time you physically, financially, and psychologically reach that point (and that's IF you do), you will have aged, and your mindset will have shifted so dramatically that you will have lost most interest in playing the game to begin with. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I believe that men who are truly successful with women possess partially inborn characteristics and acquire the remaining attributes during childhood and the teenage years.
I can tell by experience and by observation, the number one attribute to get women is raw physical attraction, followed by having game. So, a guy who is tall, about 12-15% body fat and with above average facial features will have it very easy in his 20s and 30s, even with below average game skills. If you lack height and the other physical features listed above, then you need charisma and savoir faire, here's where game skills become important. If you lack both physical attributes and game skills, your best bet is money and status, which will enable you to get all the sex you want, but you will only be used and played by women, just don't forget that. It is what it is, not everyone can be in the top 10% obviously.
very true
exactly, the conclusion is, stop playing the game cuz its a loop boys, u will chase your own tail, u will never ever reach the top 1% its an infinity point, what women basicaly ask for is a god creature that can transform matter into energy and vice versa. its a lost cause. stop listening to con artists trying to sell you their course so u can ''game'' women.
only solution i have for u is stay fit, lift weight get in shape and that for health physical and mental health, women are drawn into this basic trait, fk that ''have game have money''
u will end up being scammed by women, she will play it soo good u will never believe she played u and all her ''love'' was a lie. in the end u will be left with nothing. peace
Imagine the best version of yourself as a man and then work towards making what you envisioned a reality. Don’t do it for women, do it for yourself. When you get there, walk with pride in knowing all that you’ve accomplished.
Excellent content with nuance and depth. The more I learn about this the more is clear to me that women and men are definitely not made equal and we must navigate accordingly or else sink.
This video made me feel better than just feeling inadequate. Thank you, Orion!
Great video. You gave a new look to how men are the ones who benefit from their own hard work on improving and being the best version of themselves. Men just need to realise that women will always be looking for something better, (ALWAYS) and in the end of their constant search this person doesn't exist. It reminds me of the joke/story 'Husband Super Store'
It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting."
But there was another floor so further up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are fucking impossible to please.
That serial killer comparison and the female pitchup killed me... :D Great video!
Good episode. I think everyone knows by now what hypergamy is. I'm 6'1", 205-210pds, university educated, honorable X Army (2/75th Rangers), fit/nicely built, & yes, not-so-modestly wealthy with all the no debt/great credit metrics and cashflow, blah blah blah. I personally know that I have more access to more women, 100% true. Yes, I still have to get out and circulate, and I still have to engage dialogue and sell myself, but I cannot just show up and expect what I want immediately (for all the reasons, Taraban talks abouts). Everyone has heard about Chivalry, right? This is a big deal. Do the research but I'll save you the effort. Chivalry never existed prior to the 12th Century AD. The roughly 500 year period between the 11th and 16th Centuries is what's known as the Middle Ages. The Dark Ages were from the fall of the Western Roman Empire, late 5th Century to the 11th Century. The Middle Ages was European feudalism, and HIGHLY Hypergamous. We've all seen the male/female hypergamy pyramids next to each other with the female pyramid categories always pointing across and upward to the male, right? That's called a Vector. The combination of the lateral and vertical is roughly a +45 degree angle, which leaves 2/3rds of the population of men invisible to most women. Chivalry happened because of this. Chivalry was an invention of the B-Team Men trying to access the leftover A-Team Women. The B-Team Males were fighting-men/soldiers, business-men/merchants, accomplished clerics, or scientists usually from simple to ugly to poor beginnings that moved up the social and economic Male pyramid who wanted to crack into A-Team Women, usually the 3rd daughters, and lesser, of monarchy (the King, the older Prince, the Duke, Marquise, Count, Baron, etc.) that they couldn't otherwise access. So, the fairy tales of rescuing damsels in distress were pumped. Chivalry allowed B-Team Males to compete with A-Team Males from monarchial families. This B-Team Male bonding with A-Team Females strengthened blood lines and multiplied monarchial families all over the place such that by the time we hit the Westphalian, Post Lutheran Rebellion Period(s) just prior to the decline of Monarchy, every single monarchy in Europe, including Russia were related. Chivalry levelled the playing field because it captured the leftover A-Team Female Fantasy and those throw-away monarchial third daughters and lesser, got busy with B-Team Males. That history provides a lesson for today.
Interesting read, thanks.
Correct, in latin world there is a word for that, its Marianismo, the cult of gynocentrism and hypergamy by catholic societies back then
I've been studying evolutionary psychology for 4 or 5 years now and I have to agree to most of what you say.
I disagree that every man starts at the same place. If you're an average guy dating you or sleeping with you never crosses a woman's mind. Thats why the meme about average guys being invisible to women exists. If you're attractive the opposite is true. A better explanation; in my opinion, would be that women start out neutral towards attractive and wealthy men and that your average man starts out comeplete off the score board because she can't imagine being with you until she's confronted with the fact that you're standing there shooting your shot. Just doesn't ever cross her mind, which automatically puts you at a disadvantage. Especially if your game is shite, which it usually is because being average you approach women less often.
Also what makes a high value man is a sliding scale from woman to woman but a lot of guys get stuck in this idea that it's impossible to become high value enough to catch a woman's eye because we think it's a single insurmountable mountain. In reality its a set of hills, some are higher and some are lower and you can choose which hill you climb. Which for some it genuinely is impossible; if we're being honest, because even if you could talk your way into heaven and you're built like an ox but you're short, hunchbacked and look like you crack open coconuts with your face none of that is going to get you into a woman's bed. It's not as hard as we believe but its quite difficult and can take a long time. Especially for those of us with less self control and less motivation. Whether climbing that hill is worth the effort you expend is a question for each individual man. To a lot of us it's simply not worth the effort we expend and the risk we take on to have something that will usually be fleeting anyways. Its genuinely confusing how thats unacceptable to the majority of people.
Fantastic video as always doc. As Alex Hormozi said, the work works on you more than you work on it. You become a completely different person that will attract even more success whether it be in the dating market, physically or financially.
I approve of this message. It's pretty spot on.
As a guy who was told at an early age that "women will love you when you're older", and having spent the last 30-odd years failing to even get a second date, I've learned to not pursue women or sex. Whenever I consider it, I end up feeling depressed and empty. It's pretty clear that whatever I have to offer is, in fact, not valued - so for my own wellbeing I have decided to just focus on myself and not pursue any sort of relationship.
I'm going to let women pursue whomever they want, and I'm just going to leave them to it and do what makes me happy. It's better for everyone.
I totally get this.
Freud asked, "What Does a woman want?"
Experience has told me that it ain't me.
I came to understand I was de- selected.
So what 's the trick?
Take the pain.
Life ain't fair.
Do somethin' else.
I suppose this is why prostitution is "the oldest profession"
Apparently, I was a Chad but really never knew it deep down. I never needed to approach, I always got approached and those were the women from whom I chose to have relationships with. I was never without women admirers but somehow thought I was not doing as well as most men, mostly because they always bragged about getting "multiple" women. I was never interested in having multiple women because it seemed like it took a lot of time, money and energy and I was loyal and had hobbies I liked better. Instead I stuck with one woman for 18 years, one for 12 and one for 15 and I never cheated. As someone who has seen some success in this area I can tell you that aside from being a fleeting ego boost, being attractive to women has only led me to temporary, short-lived, happiness while involved with them. I'm out of the game permanently now and just focusing on making myself happy as I am. It's a huge struggle and I think I''m very far behind a lot of men on that because of my early success with women. My point is that the grass is not greener where I was and am now. I think we should be thankful for the opportunity of life and commit to making the best of the cards we are dealt.
I’m there right now. I’m 35. Fairly well established and working on a career and financial upgrade that should definitely be attainable. I look the best I ever have body building the last two years with no reason to stop. I dated/hooked up with several women in my 20’s. A lot of them were pulling some bs and my now former career was a hinderance. Now thing are so bad I can’t get a date. Been approached by six attractive women in the last year. 2 were married, 2 engaged, and 2 crazies that went back to abusive ex’s. Ridiculous. I think most of them don’t want to make a choice.
Southeast Asia, my friend. You're welcome.
This reminds me of "Models: Attraction through Honesty"'s chapter about demographics, a well off software engineer at the nightclub is out of his element, but at a tech conference or teaching a city-run class about scratch?
But really the thing I think the most about hypergamy is that we always think of it as the top 10% of guys who succeed on tinder getting laid because they are conventionally sexually attractive and have text game. But like my biggest mistake in dating was not giving every woman interested in me a chance in college where my intellectualism shined. Like I am literally going to move across the world to somewhere that matches my political/religious leanings, has a world renowned university, and more activities because I went from nothing in months on dating apps to hookups in days while visiting some places. It's not just money, most women don't care much beyond "has a decent job" but a lawyer will; a PhD student cares a lot more about education and a family oriented woman cares far more about how you are with kids.
My experience with being "high value" is that dressing well is around as valuable as having a high paying job; meeting through a shared interest is worth more than owning a condo. I genuinely think that a good career and house literally only "unlock" women with good careers and houses. If you dress well, have a high paying job, travel, and own a house all it does is increase the number of generic women interested in you. Hang out at art exhibitions wearing a beret and going on art dates, suddenly you became the top 10% for art women instantly, way more efficient.
So the only thing I would have added to the video is ultimately what "Models" pushes for, do not waste your time on people who are "unreceptive" to you, if she isn't letting you escalate move on. Ultimately you are trying to find the women where you are the top 10% not seduce a specific arbitrary women. Accurately represent yourself as much as possible so you can get selected and force the issue with escalation. Like telling the chemical engineer I met in the park that I want to live a minimalist lifestyle and that I have less education than her literally saves me time if she doesn't connect on instagram when I give her my QR code.
Nice read
it's all about getting laid, dippy. that's why you can't get to women. this obsession is relentless.
Sound stuff. Encouraging for those men with awareness and dynamism. (And this is my second visit - first was nearer posting - to this solid publication).
Great video. Very helpful. I can testify that this is true... especially in New York City.
This is why I'm single now. I often simply decline to do the backflips that many women request of me to give them my commitment and access to my resources. Or I could get there but they push too hard for a relationship before I've been shown enough to cut other women off. I've always been decent with women and I've since made myself very successful (top 3%) and in turn I'm very busy and very picky with who I spend time with and how I spend my resources. If a womam isn't top notch and showing reciprocal interest, I'm just not going to do backflips and act like she's so much better than me that I'd just be lucky to be around her, which is how it seems many women these days want you to act. I don't know any of these women yet either so I understand starting at 0, but she's at 0 too in my book. I don't want and wouldn't accept just any woman so if there is any prooving to be done, in my mind, it's at least mutual. The issue I have with this paradigm is it gives women the gaul to be a little cute (or not) and tell a top 3% man to impress her without considering what that kind of man wants or thinking she should have to be that, even though she stands to be the primary beneficiary of their association, and she should actually probably be the one trying to impress him.
In a perfect world you’d be right but you fail to include the trump card women have. Many men want to have sex with them and those men can’t even help it because of testosterone and such. Women can do that shit and they most certainly do.
"Will our kids' hands look funny?"
This I definitely didn't understand about female mate selection. 🤣
For their future genetics....it's evolutionary stuff.
Funny how? As long as you have 4 fingers and a thumb on each hand! That's the standard design!
This puts into words something I've been realizing these last 6 months. Thanks for clarifying this for me.
I can see in the face and expression of a woman when she just decided on a whim of her feelings because of one wrong interaction, or because of some gossip about me, that I'm just not the guy, and it's really hard to swallow my pride, let it go and not tell her just how dumb to me that is, because of boundaries
I just came to the conclusion that I'm just never going to understand women in that way, maybe I'm just not meant to, and I just need to let it go and move on.
Over and over again 😮💨
You are talking facts, sir. Highly respect what you are saying. I am 21 and trying to understand women.
Talk to your mom. She's a woman.
Pre selection has a steamrolling effect. I moved frequently in my late teens and early to mid 20's and every time I did move I had to restart the process of building my reputation with the women of that area. I had to put much more effort to pick up women at first than say a several months into moving and having success. The reason for that was both word of mouth, women DO talk about how you are in bed and everything else that goes along with the seduction process and secondly, they have eyes and if they constantly see a guy is always around and has success with lots of attractive women it is social proof he is worth going for in a romantic/sexual sense. This would culminate eventually with me being in the position of women approaching me and asking for sex. Not with nearly the frequency I was still initiating the encounters but still with a frequency that most men just could not believe unless they saw it happen. This all happened pre internet/smart phone/dating apps and was almost a word of mouth blue check mark by today's standards. In short, success with women leads to more and easier success.
Ha! My 1st roommate after leaving parental nest, was a muscular, outgoing, happy-go-lucky, good looking scots-irish-curly blonde 25-yo fellow. Didn't have a lot going intellectually (couldn't read, big income potential nearly zilch), but had wisdom around women. To paraphrase, "Easy to get more women when you have one already hanging on your arm". When he was home, there were very often two or three hot young ladies, friends group, there just passing the time.
Just to be clear, even if you do have good looks, money and status, and you also are a good lifestyle and emotional fit for her, you can still end up divorced 7 years down the line, as women reserve the right to change their minds once you have bought her the diamond ring, house and given her kids. She'll probably get emotionally bored and want to move onto a new exciting guy. RIP non-MGTOW's.
I could never understand why women leave top tier hollywood men. Always thought looks and $$$ is 90% of what women want.
This is exactly what happened to me... It cost the children the most. The modern woman is sick. Truly sick.
If your mgtow why are you here ?
@@neetea2 to learn, to change my mind if I am wrong, to teach my son, to share my understanding/experiences with others, etc etc
@@alb12345672 goes to show how naïve and clueless you are (like most commenters here). Looks and money are great, but they’re no use if you’re an arsehole or the chemistry just isn’t right.
Nice video! Bravo and thanks for sharing!
All I took from this is “the juice is not worth the squeeze”. It’s lose/lose unless you’re looking/charismatic and rich. If you don’t have all things they want, you’re on the bench or at the best a consolation prize when she’s losing her looks.