My Spouse Is In Love With Someone Else
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- In this video, Dr. Joe Beam explains what you should do when your spouse is in love with another person.
Learn how to get your spouse to FALL BACK IN LOVE with you with our FREE Course:
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This is true when your husband is in love with another woman or when your wife is in love with another man.
For more information on Dr. Joe Beam's programs, visit www.MarriageHelper.com.
In this video, Dr. Beam addresses a very painful issue that often shocks the betrayed spouse.
When your spouse falls in love with someone else and admits the affair to you, it's key that you respond in the correct way in order to get your spouse back.
Dr. Beam explains in this video how you can avoid the pitfalls that could push your spouse into the arms of this other person.
If you want your spouse back, it is important that you not only avoid doing the wrong things but that you do the right things as well.
Be sure to watch the entire video so that you can know the best path forward to save your marriage in the case of your husband falling in love with another woman or your wife falling in love with another man.
SUBSCRIBE to Marriage Helper's channel so that you may be notified when Dr. Beam or Marriage Helper publish additional videos that will be helpful to you and your marriage.
An accompanying article may be read at www.marriagehelper.com/my_husb...
Learn how to get your spouse to FALL BACK IN LOVE with you with our FREE Course:
bit.ly/3xxDm81
Ridiculous that people would allow themselves to give of themselves emotionally whilst knowing they are in a MARRIAGE. If you’re so unhappy then talk to your spouse and work it out don’t go emotionally connecting with other people. Some people are so selfish.
If only life were that black and white.
Sometimes emotional connections just happen, especially if life circumstances put one in close and often contact with other people. The variables are whether such contact is necessary and what a married person does once romantic emotions with someone outside their marriage begin. People don’t have to pursue romantic relationships that develop outside their marriage.
@mynameisglitter2220 your comment comes from ignorance. As someone's whose spouse connected on a deep emotional level with another who he considered a soul mate but has now reconciled with me I can tell you my own poor actions as a spouse (neglect, harshness, lack of intimacy) left a huge opportunity for someone else to simply show him kindness and desire for him which made him feel loved when he didn't feel it from me. I know better how to love him now (as I truely always loved him but took his love for granted) and always looking for ways to be a better wife. And me being a better wife inspires him to be a better husband, to love me how I like to feel loved, so it is win win.
@@emohbrisnicki7648 I’m happy for your situation but as someone dealing with the “found out” stage it is very hard to see why my partner pursued it once it developed instead of letting me know the severity of their unhappiness.
Social media nowadays is the one reason that ruin or destroys marriages. It happened to me! My wife for 10 years just accepted a friend request through instagram and she is telling me they are just friends and getting to know each other, what i am supposed to do feels like I'm just the option now.
Everything in the video is what we've gone through for 5 weeks now. We r staying and just hoping things get better. So worried, will it ever get better, infidelity is the worst thing people, pls pls pls don't ever think of it
Third marriage was the best: first ended from a head injury he had, second drug use and these were not low life men the third a physician and I married over 47 yrs and eight children later. We are happy together because all relationships are teaching relationships. No one can make you happy but they can make you miserable.
That is how we deal with each other commitment, not taking each other for granted and being fifty fifty.
Who would want to stay married to someone who does not love them? My god. Let that person go. Well I would run from him.
Someone who, first, is dealing with kids. Then, the kids grow up, and they find themselves too old.
Amen
Why are you here?
yea bro
This is how I wanted to feel a few months ago when I started seeing the signs on the wall. My ex husband showed a lot of disinterest in the relationship and I was really going to let them go if the wanted. unfortunately I was too curious to know what really happened and if there was something that could be fix in there. He was a gentleman and I trusted but he showed strong signs of infidelity and it made uncertain unwanted most of the time, i wanted to know. My friend told me it was possibe to find out everything without risks through phone spying. she introduced me to a guy " Binaryreap3r @ gmial com " who helped me spy on my ex's phone until I found out he was having a same-sex affair all along. I still let him go but I did that knowing I am totally perfect and I stopped hurting
What if you are married to a covert narcissist who has no desire to change but refuses to even discuss divorce.
When my spouse is with his lover that "means nothing to him" I don't have the time to waste thinking that this marriage is not over. It's totally over.
True
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It is over….my ex husband cheated, left & moved on with his affair partner
Just came across this video and made me feel way better. Bad person doing bad things... Not good to bring him back. Thank you for your guidance ❤️
Ever noticed how much he talks with his hands? Love it. My wife told me the exact same thing when she left. “I love you, but not in love with you”. She must think I am a fool
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I have been through similar things, so painful....Dont try if you dont have kids, it is not worth the pain, there are many other man or woman out there can give you happiness than staying in disrespectful marriages. However when there are kids involved, I dont think it is that simple, try hard for the kids.....
The more I let go the further he goes. I guess its gods will. I dont complain I just comply.
I’m happy I’m not married. Why would I want to get a spouse back after they have an affair and leaves me? Let the b have him
I wish she wanted him!!!!
I do not believe in saving any marriage. If he or she fall in love they can fall out of love for different reasons if you start compromising it is already a compromise unnaturally
This has been extremely helpful. Very glad I came across it as life has been difficult lately. I see a little glimmer of hope now. Thank you.
"Marriage counselor" was a bully and blamed my husband for everything. His choice to have an affair but the "counselor" never addressed the marriage problems. My husbands individual counselor told him in his very first session that it "sounds like the affair was a way to get out of the marriage, you should divorce her." Thank God for MH. He still isn't wanting to work on it but he also hadn't moved out. I'm still standing thanks to MH.
About to go to counseling. I'm so glad to have this knowledge. It's very true to go in knowing that the therapist is working to save our marriage. People can change...and things can change. As long as you are willing to change. If anything you can walk away with the knowledge that you did your best. It's worth a try.
From my Understanding people don't change (atleast the basic instinct of a person which is different for everyone). would like know how did it go for you after a year
This if anything at least made me feel better. I cried as I watched this so hard! My husband loves someone else. He has not left me for her yet but wants to, today was a new low as he decided not to spend our wedding anniversary together but with her and my heart is so broken
WOW sorry to here that , praying for you , god will fix it, there is no love like gods love !!!
😢
I'm sorry, I went through the same thing. He told me there was nothing to celebrate anymore
And they say these things so easily. They have no sympathy or remorse for your feelings. But Karma ... my lord, is going to BUST THEM IN THE FACE WITH A BRICK!
I'm that spouse in love with another woman after 36 years...I never loved my wife...married her because I got her pregnant....finally a stranger appeared in my life...I fell hard...I understand I'm a sinner...we all are...
But I finally have felt in love....but I care about my wife a.c and it kills me to hurt her...she is after all family..
Thank you very much for this wonderful advice...in fact,I've already saved our marriage for doing of what you've said.God bless.
After the last affair that Debi admitted, she was willing to go to a marriage counselor. On the third or fourth visit, the Doctor asked me how much I was willing to put up with before I filed for divorce. I should have left right then, but we went for two more years with no results, and Debi never quit talking to the lover. Now she has moved in with the latest affair. Saving the marriage has to be the goal of your counselor. So glad a friend whose been through the same thing as I have sent a link to your website!
The Your LovePath book is great. If you don't have it , get it
Oh my gosh! You are spot on!
The video was informative. Thanks for sharing 👍
Thank u for the wonderful message..saving my marriage life🙏🙏🙏
God bless you for taking time to post your video, & the directions to other resources! As far as I'm concerned, well.... I think you're an angel is disguise, and my beloved daughter, going through this situation, was led to you. Your words seemed to confirm our feelings, she has a what seems like a wisdom of loving understanding that her sweet husband is a wonderful person, just doing something totally out of character. Our family looks beneath the actions, it's what is that person hurting from that causes the actions, and our own part in it. It was more than by accident she found you! It was like you were talking right to her, and this mama thanks you!
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He did leave, doesn't want to come back because he's in love with her, she's perfect from head to toe according to him. Yes he has threatened to take everything from me. 13 years for nothing
He should leave, but he must give you 50%. That's the LAW
I wasted almost 20 yrs. She left me for no good reason.
@@richardcole2473 I'm sorry you are going through this, stay strong
@@adrip7537 thx soo much
16 years for me. Raised her kids, just welcomed a granddaughter, finally sold a house we've been under for over a year, and then she comes back home after a trip and tells me she has a boyfriend. 14 years younger, a stranger to personal hygiene, and the kid who I have shown nothing but compassion to since I met him. Now I'm trying to work through a life where the woman I live with thinks it's perfectly fine to treat me like this under some delusion that she's never "chosen herself" before...
Best video I have seen ! This guy has nailed it
You guys and your advice turned out priceless.... Thank you. It helped to look at things from a different angle and maybe.... Just maybe saved my marriage.
Thank you for this video it gives me clarification and I know God wanted me to see this video at this time. Your knowledge and information is very much needed. God bless you.
Lot's of good information. I'm sure many agree. There are some areas to be considered. We're all individuals, we have feelings, standanrds, dreams, and expectations. Lying is one thing, but what it brings to light, are two different and potentially destructive emotions. Trust & betrayal. All of us have different (many similar) reactions to these. Can a spouse be trusted? Has a spouse been betrayed? Hard to separate what our comfort zones, upbringing, ideas of marriage & relationships. One thing that keeps popping up in all these videos, is a lack of clear communication between the couple. It's easy to think something is better because it's new, titillating, exciting, refreshing etc. Have a look at what you have? Do you have the honor and respect you should? Why not? What can you do about it?
My husband & I have gone through a lot of stress, including my post partum depression. I’ve never ever expected this kind of activity from my husband, but I also know that he has been there trying to comfort me & a person can only take so much. I have been very bad & not there for him at all. I haven’t been the wife I should be. He recently told me he didn’t love me anymore & that he’s been talking to a girl & really cares about her. I don’t blame him for falling out of love with me because I’ve been a different person & extremely hateful toward him for a long time. I’m in shock & I’m trying to fix myself. This video helps a lot along with a lot of your other videos. I would love to speak to someone about help. I love my husband. We have babies & he’s my whole world. He really is a good man. He’s just doing something bad. & I know he hasn’t tried to hurt me, but he needs the love and affection that I haven’t been able to give him for a long time. Help!
Update us please
This is exactly what I’m going through right now. Did things get any better??
OMGoodness! We started out with a lovely counselor who thought that my husband needed more help so shifted me over to another woman. Later on, after months with this woman, I found out that she was going through her own divorce during our sessions. She was so bitter that I had to leave. My husband was in love with the "perfect woman" and I had to leave him, but here we are, 43 years later, happily married because not only was the "perfect woman" NOT perfect, but he figured out that he couldn't leave the best friend he had ever had.....the woman who let him sort himself out. Like you mentioned in this video I took care of myself, got my affairs in order just in case, but when he came back he told me he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me....and he has.....We never talk about that time in our marriage because it was one year and we have plenty of happier memories to talk about.
I’m not married but what a great service and advice. I can quite believe you help so many. Talking passionately and from the heart and definitely experience which is just the best help ever ❤️
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i listen to friends and family but i had to fine my way to deal with this. he left and i went back to my life. things were hard from the emotion side of things. i worked with a great bunch of guys who took me out and talked to me. one mentioned the value of me. i listened and realize i was just as valueable as he was. my life didnt stop jusr his love did. my love was still there. he wasnt the love i felt, i was. so i let him go. no more tears fell, i stopped asking what i did i was innocent he was the wrong guy i married. exceptability to the end of my marriage hurt like hell. but i was stronger to what i believed. he came to see me, i walked out to my friend and left him there. when i came back he was still there. why where was the woman he could love at. he wanted to talk to me, now it was on my terms. i felt strong and happy now he knows my value. he may never get it back. but we could talk.
I'm going through this right now July 5th is our anniversary and she will be in the hotel again this weekend through the Fourth of July weekend I will be alone at home. Any thumbs up or comment will help
Nobody shouldn't really sleep around with nobody you can catch bad disease like HIV
Shirley Clark true
True
Excellent advice
She said its best to be separated.
A week later she have a boyfriend.
Going on movie and date night. She already moved on
Can't see a way back.???
We went to marriage counseling about 10 years ago and that made my husband much worse towards me. we went to marriage counseling this past year and it was a nightmare. The woman didn’t know what she was doing. It really hurt our marriage.
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Yes Doctor Joe Beam you correct I have been going through that and listen to other peoples stories which I have hurt myself. but I want to thank you for sharing. I have been telling my husbands friends, Boss and he's family about what he was doing.
Thank you, Joe
Always watching you and love your videos about marriage and love.
That's so true Joe. I believe in you man
Try to save your married
God have promises
Exactly❤❤❤
these are great videos
How do you know a marriage is really worth saving?
Sounds like what I suspected in my marriage & now I'm in another state
Reading all the comments, watching the video plus my current situation I guess it's better of not to involve in any relationship at all. The pain is like you are dying 💔
Just got the news the other day that my wife cheated. Turned my world upside down. I dont want to leave my kids. Im just tore up. Dont know who to beleive and yesterday she said she liked cheating and shes in love with him. Im not ready to let her go. She keep talking in hypotheticals like" i can picture you with someone that deserves you". Makes me feel like she's trying to push me out.
I don't feel like I love my husband as much as I did before I found out about his affair
My spouse had an affair. It started with the " Im not 'in love' with you comment." We were both dealing with sick parents, demanding jobs, and 4 kids. He has now moved out. After 23 years, I still love him but the pain of him telling someone else that he loves them is unbearable. He says he is taking time and trying to sort out his feelings but I feel he should not have to 'try' to love me.
Sincerely,
Ready to give up
Angie Harrison So sorry to hear that Angie. My wife did the same 6 weeks ago. After 24 years together. You and I have a lot in common. Very similar situation. I am thinking of going to therapy to try and process everything. Have you considered talking with someone? How are you getting along on a day to day basis?
@@navajo237 I have started therapy. It is helping me. It is still hard. I try to continue my daily activities as much as possible but some days I just have to go to my room and let my feelings come out.
@@angieharrison3935 I understand. I have bad days my self. There are days where I can't bring myself to get out of bed. But I think of my kids and muster the energy to get up. I know things will get better, so I try to see the bigger picture and not get too tied up on how I am feeling right there that moment. Its hard. Thank you for sharing, and I will try therapy. This is a terrible thing to go through. I got the "I'm not in love with you" comment as well from my wife. It crushed me. Still does. Today is only slightly better than yesterday.
@@angieharrison3935 How are you doing these days?
@@navajo237
Hanging in there. We got back together for a brief few weeks then he left again saying doesn't love me at all now. He has found someone new.
How things with you?
Snippets of advice are ok but life isn't an endurance test, especially regarding marriage. .."not necessarily over"only occurs between people with actual shared values along with the willingness to change
Yes its tough at first, but worth it in the long run
Yes Doc, friends and family have discharge my marriage. What you a saying is very very true..
people dont honor the vows they took when they got married. 20 years of marriage my husband told me, he found a woman he could love. my heart stopped. well who was i. saddness pain and tears. i had given him my heart but it wasnt good enough. i had to think this through what did i do wrong besides love him. we never had kids. i had no reason to stay with him except thats where i wanted to be. in this whole dam world i could be anywhere but i only wanted to be with him. choices became important. when i married its was for the promise of growing old together. but after this how could i forgive him.
Thanks 🙏 may God bless your soul.
I attended marriage counseling with my husband and it was not helpful at all. He is quite the charmer and the female counselor aligned herself with my husband and often justified his actions as him "going through a rough period". My mistake clearly was that it was not a Christian counselor who was dedicated to marriage recovery.
My husband and I did attend the intensive Marriage Helper weekend and it was amazing. Although my husband is still with the OW, what was learned, during the weekend, planted seeds in him and was immensely helpful to me.
How are you 2 now?
One thing I won't do is beg him to stay because that's up to him okay
Very true
It’s really hard. One year down the line am still fighting. And he tells me things will be better.it’s really draining but I believe God will do it for me
Wouldn't bother taking my narcissistic exhusband to a counsellor.
My husband came in with immense baggage, selfish and abusive. And he's still here. But he loves her, too, and I don't want to feel like a consolation prize, all because we've been together for so long or whatever.
I am right there too. It is a tough spot.
😢 its hurtful but life goes on. Trying to learn and move on
When a guy keeps telling you that you have broad shoulders...may be u had sent him a pic of you what does this mean?
My boyfriend fell in love with someone else. He decided to stay with me instead, because he loves me. Now I have to watch him be lovesick. He wants to get over it. But it is nothing he can change right now. It's crazy hard. I want to leave him and the honeymoon in love part of him just wants me to leave and just be with her. But it's only day 4 of him telling me he fell in love and things are still fresh.
Do you have the 3 days program in the UK?
Are you guys considering coming to Australia at all? I'd love to see you in Melbourne.
Hi! Right now, we offer workshops in Tennessee. However, we offer coaching internationally! Call us at 866-903-0990 if you would like more information.
Use to know some one long😭😭 distance relationship for two years
Yes ur right seems like flashbacks evrything .. I have my faults too I’m not perfect but I guess I just got a help from a wrong person. I’ve seen signs already but I thought she was a great friend but ended up having affair with my spouse. I was super broken n hurt , devastated a lot of pain that I don’t understand.
This is similar, you know what, if a man is in love with other woman, this is a crisis marriage, you give him red card, because love is not simple things, forget everything and move on with your life no matter what happened to you, just do better things for your future.
@Richard Oscar no I'm fine, cultural marriage has a lot of problem because of dowries pay back. Just let me struggling for my life.
Well if my spouse is in love and going with someone's else well that's tuff for me because I didn't complete him as a man and life still has to go on and because I have no right to stop him from find love and to have happiness in there life all I can do is to have forgiveness towards him and let him go because he didn't believe and trust me any way my friend one can't cry over spilt milk
Although Dr. Beam seems like a great counselor!
I don't understand the idea of staying with someone if there has been un-faithfulness in a relationship?
What are u promoting? that cheating is permissible? Everyone should get a second chance?
If you get married? Keep your eye on the fucken ball (your partner) don't stray off!
Marriage is sacred yes and shouldn't be violated but forgiveness is key! Second chances are to be accorded to all especially in marriage!!
There is none good, no not one!
Is it controlling to ask him to end that relationship that is unacceptable ?
How does someoene suffering as a manic depressant handle everything while trying to fix and not give up?
Don’t fall asleep yet.
We went to a marriage counselor. I did not find he helped for me my husband liked him cause he was on his side mostly.He did think we would make it. Low be hold my husband left me 2 years ago and said we are never get back together and now has a girlfriend.I still have hope.
How does one decide if the spouse was good or bad? If one is good, one will only see the good in the other person and that is not very objective!
What do you do if he’s not consistently actively involved with taking care of our child? Is placing him on child support a bad thing? I’ve been doing it by myself for 8yrs now and I can’t continue with it just for the sake of marriage. Our child deserves better and I will choose our child over him always.
Sentiment with marriage seems to be forever ownership. The other person pretty much owns you. This is why we have so many Dateline 20/20 episodes.
wonderful video, Thanks a lot. my counselor was useless and she was just asking for money and she didn't care about us. She told me if I wanted to divorce during the separation's time came to her earlier!! I didn't like her but my husband was listening to her and we are still struggling :(
she always wants to leave :(
I love my spouse however we have been having financial crisis and it’s been ongoing for 2 years. With that being said we have two children together. 2 days go he left to go stay with a friend . He said so that he can grow and find himself. But just last night he came to see the kids and told me that he thought about it and that he just doesn’t want to get back together because he was never happy. Which I don’t believe because even with financial issues we have always found time to laugh and enjoy each other...what do I do in this moment ? I am currently praying and just taking care of myself and kids...o still have faith that he will come back to us
What happened? Did you reconcile?
I want hv job and my pocket money.I wish drive my self first.
My husband is in a relationship with my sister. He has committed that. But, he does not want to leave me as well. He wants to stay with me, while having relationship with my sister. I getting mad, I don't know what to do now. Please help.
...good stuff!!!
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Omg history of my life, the pain is indescribable!!!! I wanted divorce but it was to hard to start, kids.. pain.. money.. etc.. the lover is married and is not in love, didn’t have sex, but the pain, the anger is intense!!!!! We have the greatest counselor in the world, thank God!
I’m struggling with last one getting the right help,but at the moment he had already move out more than 6 weeks and he said he wants us to have cooling period or space, but he still need to come back to visit our child and he still help me to fix any problems around the house, does this sound like there is hope? He is the unfaithful one and I’m still in pain with what he did to me,but I feel silly that I know deep down inside I;m still very much in love with him, how to get over the pain and he’s stop sharing how he feel with me now
My spouse is about to leave. It's obvious that she has reached a point to where she rather hurt me than hurt the affair partner. Its obvious her heart is no longer with me. It hurts, but it's one of those things you have to accept, and let things run its course. My wife is a good person doing a bad thing.
Hi, Quinton. We would love to get you connected with one of our client representatives so that we can help. Please call us at 866-903-0990.
Here are a few resources which may provide insight:www.marriagehelper.com/spouse-wants-divorce/
www.marriagehelper.com/husband-cheating-heres-talk/
Sir you are asking for comments but ain't replying to any
If you are in the comments and you wouldn't accept your spouse back then why are you commenting this is for people who want to fight for their marriage don't discourage us just go watch the videos that fit your character. Ps. People say what they wouldn't do until they are in the situation... 😉
i thpught i loved you i guess i was wrong??? wth is that about
You're absolutely right!!
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He won't tell her it's over and keeps dragging it out. He says he wants me but won't let her go. What should I do,
This is what happen to me..sad but true..
I have been in love with another man for 26 years. There is a considerable age gap ,like a lifetime. He was married with kids before I was even born . I have lived a life that no-one knows about and so has he . We are both madly in love and want each other as much as the day we met . I am married with kids and he is still with his wife but we are both heartbroken because too many people would be hurt and it would be to much of a scandal . I dream we are with each other and I talk to him everyday . We played with fire all those years ago and we both live with a broken heart and no-one knows .
@@oriabureosemudiamen8428 Thank you for your kind words ❤️
I would Feel so terrible if my wife felt the way you do.
My spouse is more in love with her phone, sons, job, and late husband than me. No joke. And I’m blamed for everything that is wrong. 😞
Sure he can help you
Yeah we went to our Pastor for counseling and that when I found out why my wife wanted a Divorce. Her and the married pastor was fucking around...
I will give simple one. My wife hates wearing her ring. I haven never taken mine off
I love my wife more than anything. Please let her just tell me
Getting in love with someone else! That means that person doesn't love you. I serious wonder how that person who has emotionally tortured you can reclaim love from you. Feelings can also be lost on my side. So if anything it becomes worse.
Thats Not true. When someone falls in Love With another and has a affair, in Most cases its Limerence. Extremely high Feelings... IT s Like a addiction. But Limerence Always ends and the majority of affairs dont Last a lifetime. So If someone really Love His spouse and want to save His marriage there is Hope.
It’s the only thing that heals.
Married 50 yrs to him and he's a narracist,he's a bully but he can be as sweet as cherries pie. He texts her all the time infront of me. I certainly don't want a divorce , he's never mentioned that to me! I do need some good help but being the pandemic is going on.i feel as soon as I get the shot, he will get rid of me. I cant go anywhere without her following me bc he's told her what we're doing. She has OCS and he has ADDH.
.
What about with hidden violence? That is repeated. What about when you've divorced before and remarry and then the violence starts again? When I say violence I mean to the point of broken bones
Donna you need to get to a safe place and leave.
Donna Blaney “When someone shows you who they are, believe them!”. I wish I had taken that advise! It’s incredibly hard to change who you are, good intentions are NOT enough...It takes so much work and dedication. Very, VERY few human beings can ever do that. If his ‘instinctive’ reaction to certain situations is violence, it will ALWAYS be violence. An almost religious observance of Anger Management training and self work ‘could possibly’ work. If you’ve gone through the utter devastation of divorce and even that didn’t make him have the strength to dedicate himself to self management I believe nothing will.
If you have children you are fundamentally changing who they will be in life by your CHOICES. It’s horrific abuse to expose your children to a family with physical abuse. I know that’s harsh. I’m a weak, sad person but I hope better for you. Please be strong. If not for yourself then for those who love you.
I know your video was a long time ago but you asked what we know about marriage counseling. I have a family member that was a psychologist that had her own practice. This counselor was on her third marriage and would frequently tell people they needed to end it. This person is also a major Narcissist!!!! She accidentally butt dialed me when she was with a couple. I listened for around 45 min and barely heard the couple at all.....its sad there aren't more competent people in the field.