How Do I Stop My Feelings for My Lover & Save My Marriage?
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
- It's tough. Isn't it?
You feel this tremendous emotional connection to one person loving him or her like you'd never thought you might be able to love. Yet you're married to another person and you really want to make that marriage work because you're convinced that's the right thing to do.
Well, at least occasionally you're convinced that's the right thing to do.
You find yourself vacillating, thinking;
"I'm a good dad. I'm a good mom. I'm a good husband. I'm a good wife. I'm a good person. I made a vow that I'd be together with this person for the rest of my life. And now I'm in love with somebody else, but I need to stop that at least on some occasions. I think I need to stop that and work things out with my spouse. And then on other occasions, I'm thinking, I don't know if I ever can put the marriage back together because for the rest of my life, I'm going to be mourning what I've lost. If I end this relationship with the other person."
I understand how you feel. I've been exactly where you are.
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Whatever you do, don’t ghost your affair partner. Sit down with them face to face and break up.
Ghosting is bitter to swallow but each person reacts in a different way, everybody have their circumstances and, anyway it is their space and, in the end, there must be a point of no contact. What we can control is the good old memories and the grace and class we carry forward. No regrets, no sorrows, no breadcrumbing, no lurking,... just the effort to rise and improve what we have in your space and the hope that the limerescence fades away sooner or later.
My affair ended six months ago. I elected to stay in my marriage and things are better, but I still think about the affair partner every day. I really miss her.😢
Does it get any easier?
Do stay in the marriage, it will be worth it
@Eremias Ranwolf Things were better. I was doing really well in moving on, but the affair partner texted me on Tuesday for my birthday. We had a brief conversation, but it set me back to square one. I don't want the affair days back. It was much too stressful and demanding of my time, but I do miss her friendship. Time will heal once again.
@@boltman4227 change your phone number.
I know the feeling 😞😢
I think every situation is unique, and this cannot apply to all. It’s a case by case. There are many different reasons for affairs. Not saying they are right, but it happens, and for various reasons.
How are you meant to forgive someone who fell in love with someone else, while they were with you? It’s asking someone to be superhuman.
I go through phases but overall it’s such a betrayal.
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We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
You said 36 months. You kidding. For its been 27 years
Are you saying g it’s been 27 yards since you left the affair partner and yet you still feel that limerance?
Hey Dr Joe I'm from Guyana I will to no more about the course you have to offer
Someone has been watching Marriage Helper Again I Know How You Feel .
I am struggling with this for 10 years now.
It forced me to seperate from my husband.
I have tried to end it but it never lasted.
I still love my husband and feel terribly sorry and hurt and guilty for the pain I have caused him.
Now I am on my own while trying to figure out what to do.
How do I stop being in contact with my lover if we work together?
The fact that I have to see my lover everyday will still cause doubt in my husband.
I cannot leave my work since its the only stability I have.
I am in such a bad place and I no its all my own doing.... Consequences is hurfull for all involved.
I feel you 😔 pray 🤲🏾 pray and let God in charge
So sorry, I feel your pain
-- Pray for God to present a better job for you. Once you commit to finding a new job at a different location (where you never see or have contact with the former lover), be actively seeking a new job... and what you seek you WILL find. Commit to it and follow through immediately, if you truly want to reconcile with your spouse. Do not waste anymore time.
I am going through a similar experience, however, i my stiry I have told my Lover last year that it was over as I am trying to save my mariage. Since then we maintain friendly contact but I still love her. She told me last July (14 month into this « friendship » ) that she had moved on and since then I am in fill limerence. This drug hurt and the EX is not necessarily staying with us and then we are alone. I wish you all the best and unless your lover commit with you, you will suffer when he goes. you must let it go for your own happiness which I am told in the many podcast I haven listened too, will come. Best
Did you ever try to get back with him?
Watching This One I See Love YOU
Amen 🔥
Family constellation after the German Psychotherapist Bert Hellinger will show the REAL reason why all this happens and it will make forgiving so much easier. Both forgiving yourself and everyone involved. It is always a dynamic between the whole system. Not only between two or three people.
My wife cheated on me last week. She says she want to stay with me. But she had and affair with a co worker, and she really likes her job. How can I rebuild trust or be with her if I know there is still contact at work. It's driving me crazy everyday. I am currently at step 0.5
True love never fades dr.joe beam
Won't admit to cheating
The real challenge is getting my wife to watch this..
@@claricestar47 Sir?
You are 100% Correct !
Lol right
I totally hear you!!
The cheater deserves tjeir spouce to fo what youve dine to them!!
Spouse Will not admit to their cheating. Continually lying, continually lying.
It hurts that you have to violate boundaries just to get the truth my wife keeps lying about talking to her affair person.
@@claricestar47 can't argue with that
@@claricestar47 I can man up but no one deserves to be lied to
@@claricestar47 you are right but we are are trying to fix our marriage and you can't cut that connection. Just say you need some space and we can separate until you figure out what you want to do
I think she is in limerence with that person. I am sorry to tell you that in your situation you can't do much,it's her job to stay or to leave,to cut the contacts with them or to keep contacting them.
Sit with her and tell her that you know everything and that you give her time to think,and that's you are going to respect her decision whatever it is and leave her alone for few weeks.
Who cares about Jezebels feelings she didnt care about the wifes feelings her kids psin because they have to feel tgeir moms pain.The ugliness of what Dad did tk tgeir Mom.just cruel and quire evil thing to do to someone you CLSIMED TO LOVE. ITS REALKY TGE ACTIONS OF AN ENEMY WHK DOESNT CARE ABOUT TGE PAIN THEYD CAUSE YOU AT ALL.SOUNDS PRETTY EVIL NOT OF LOVE AND LIGHT
In my opinion, one has already made up their mind if you step outside the marriage with someone else.
Once you have made that decision, you have to live with it for the rest of your life.
What is over is over because you never had feelings for your wife or husband for that matter.
If you did it once you will do it again.
So why are you here if that’s how you feel 🤔
Who wants to know@@charleneg.4053
@@renostubbs8504 it’s a rhetorical question, so nobody. You don’t really believe that or you wouldn’t be here, now would you? It’s ok to try and appear strong, we all do it. But you’re wrong in your analysis. That’s my opinion.
@@charleneg.4053 I am curious, probably just as you are,tell me why you think that this can work???
@@renostubbs8504 fair enough. I do not believe in once this always that. I believe people can learn and grow. People by nature are quite selfish. But I also believe that people have to change for themselves and who they want to be as a person. I’ve done many things in life that I know I’ll never do again. Did they change me? Yes. Will things ever be what they were? No, but that’s not always a bad thing. It’s feasible and I believe can be better in ways and in others maybe not so much. It’s a balance with many factors involved, but it’s definitely not black and white.