How to get 5X YES in Negotiation
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- čas přidán 28. 04. 2019
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Founded and led by former lead FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.
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Thanks for watching! - Jak na to + styl
Wouldn't you hate to be the poor bastard sitting across from him at a car dealership on your second week?
$10? That's highly reasonable sir deal!
Nah. You go to a dealership with what you want on your head, lay it out and never settle. Last time I went in and said I want a new Honda Civic for 300/month. They said they can't do it and I walked out. They ran me down and said some bs and I said either I'm getting the Civic for 300/month or we're done. I didn't get the Civic, but setting an ultimatum is the counter play to negotiation. We're not negotiating, I've layed out my terms and if you don't agree to them the way I want it then we're done.
@@JD-go2qj so... you just used an example of you not getting what you wanted to justify why your strategy always works?
@@benyager3355 you missed the main point or perhaps didn't understand it, so instead you took what little you did get to try and refute me. I'm not about to argue a tangent with you son. Move along
@@JD-go2qj So you don't even belive in your own points enough to argue them? Because "You didn't get it" with no evidance supplied, Isn't a valid excuse for not being able to refute what I said.
20:35 Shoutout to the dude who figured out the secrets of the universe with the "trust me im confident" statement lmao
Change yes to NO with following phrases at beginning of sentence:
Are you against?
Do you disagree?
Have you given up on?
Is it a bad idea?
Is it a ridiculous idea?
3 kinds of yes:
Commitment
Confirmation
Counterfeit
Response of:
You’re right=shut up
That’s right=I feel understood/connection/step forward
Awkwardness is both the barrier and acceleration to learning.
Awesome!
Awkwardness..... operating in that realm long enough causes the captain to more quickly process the subtle and quick emotions within that frame.
Awkwardness can also get you laid at a rate much faster.
New plan for proposing marriage: "Is it a ridiculous idea that we would be together for the rest of our lives?"
what if she replies: yes
@@LK-uc9kh freedom!!!!!!!!!!
@@heyman8820 me being single throughout my whole life 😢😭
Hope she knows who you are. So many tricks in the world. If your this brave and this much in love with her I bet she will. Let us know how it turns out. Congratulations to both of you with best wishes. She's a fool if she says no.
@Delon Duvenage Hahahaha, A better response to this post, there could not be!!! Excellent!!
I work in mental health AND politics and I have been extremely successful in both. I have used what you call weaponized empathy for years. My colleagues think I’m doing some witchy woo woo magic or something, but it’s not. It’s so simple. I’d love it if more people knew about this amazing skillset. I genuinely feel like it makes the world a more positive place.
Might think I am crazy but I found that to take it to even another next level try keeping the pronouns neutral to frame the conversation as situational. It seems like reducing "I", "You" "Me" etc. and framing the subject of sentences about the situation , increases that "collaborative vibe" that mirroring/labeling creates. It's great! Keep up the mastery!
Most of my clients are Spanish speakers. These tools are easy not just to translate, but to practice and implement. Gracias Christ.🤝
"what would you say?" "Trust me, I'm competent" hahaha
Voss is a very natural and effective communicator.
Chris I don’t hear you talk about confidence. I hear you talk about fight, flight and make nice. However you have such confidence and I feel that’s incredibly important.
Drop that in front of your 'yes' questions, you'd be shocked how much further you get.
Are you against ...
Do you disagree ...
Have you given up on ...
Is it a ridiculous idea ...
Is it a bad idea ...
Have tried this... (I’m a big Voss fan, this is not a troll comment)....what do you think to do when the person’s response is something like “I don’t care” or they just don’t answer at all? Maybe it’s a YES? he has given up on it, or does think it’s a bad it’s a bad idea... anyway I can’t figure out how to break a stone wall. Would anyone out there think it was a ridiculous idea to send me some suggestions or examples on this?
@@ejay1474 If that is the response then that person isn’t going to break. You’re not going to win 100% of the negotiations
@@jpcooper78 THAT'S RIGHT!
This guy is pure confidence. I love it
This guy sounds exactly what I expected an FBI hostage negotiator to sound like
*stops the video at 11:30 and does the finger thumb exercise 75 times
Good teaching. Also see Jim Camp’s book “Start with No”.
11:30, a perfect example for this is learning to play guitar. Especially when its a song slightly out of your comfort zone. I felt the awkward almost physical ache when i was learning a Pantera song last night lol.
Awesome as always! Love the no thing and breaking of prebuilt neural pathways! Every time I hear it it’s golden.
The “few” who learned to live, manage, and handle the “NOs” as part of life are the very few successful people that walked this earth.
No, it was probably that plus a little more 😉 😆
Probably not.
Look at single men in their 40's who have never been with a woman.
They get "no" so much, they don't know what to do.
this was so good i had to watch it two times just to take notes
I use NO constantly. I am the second best sales person in my company.
How ? Can you enlighten ?
Thank you Chris, this will change the way I speak to people.
I watch CZcams while putting on makeup and for a second, I thought about finishing my eyeshadow with my left hand.
🤣
I haven’t tried eyeshadow with either hand. But then again I’m a guy...
I would like to see pictures of how eyeshadow with the off hand comes out for you.
Brilliant and breathtaking.
This is gold!
Being ambidextrous or at least practicing being ambidextrous is very good for the brain!
35:44
Are you against?
Do you disagree?
Have you given up on ?
Is it a ridiculous idea?
Is it a bad idea ?
31:50 Jack Welch
Thank you for the time stamps
Love this!!!!
I love this!!
29:00 Best example of people not wanting to say yes
Thank you for sharing
Powerful stuff...even more powerful closing statement.
Haven’t gotten there yet, but he’s known for saying, “the last impression is the LASTING impression” so seems like that is true!
Argh thanks Chris you're the best. You should be an actor
I’ve been sizing Chis up and he blows me away with getting to the core! Freaking Refreshing Mountain Air!
🙏Wonderful!
Huge Fan
Thanks Chris! I appreciate you taking the time to share your information. I"m working on getting my real estate license and plan on using your techniques to help with sales....have a great day!
No way this guy is from Iowa...that's a cover story. 😁
Brandon N throw in Jordan Belfort straight line sales- it’s free.99- their material seems to coincide and both have helped me greatly in re sales
Thank you
After your comment about political affiliation, your awesomeness, just got more awesome!
Great video
This is phenomenal content and very consistent with the training provided by the Sandler Sales System... and probably a lot less pricey.
hey you should put the links to your site in your description to make it easier to get to your site.
Comedy News Network has a nice ring to it.
Every 1-2 minutes I was hitting *save to playlist*
A still tongue keeps a wise head
Love you Chris Voss. You are a game changer !!!
We believe that Chris Voss has assisted Al Pacino in preparing for a role (actually 2 roles).
This makes me think of the taking of Pelham 123, really cool movie
By 4min felt vindication... didn't really need it. Worked with traumatized/abused kids from immediate after, to long-term. I began "accidentally" in my teens & was wearing silly socks. He loved them. From then on I always wore them. They stayed mostly hidden. In the toughest situations when I had to work with the perpetrators, the socks helped keep me sane. *I* knew I was wearing them... a "big boss" saw them once & I figured I'd be fired, but he had leave the room so no one would see him laugh. I have a few more tricks, but they're not appropriate for this forum. God Bless You, Chris Voss!
Cheers Chris. From New Zealand.
35:43
10:30 great
I wonder if Chris purposely learned to speak with voice and enunciation that is very similar to Al Pacino. That has to grab and hold peoples attention like nothing else without even being remotely obvious.
Maybe they grew up in the same area.
I hear more George Carlin.
George is from Manhatten, Al is from East Harlem.. pretty close.
Perhaps Al Pacino learned a few roles from Chris...
New plan for asking crush out “Is it such a ridiculous idea to go out with me
Her: yes
You: Next!
I want to be this guy!
He has charisma attitude style grace his posture fortified by confidence intelligence wisdom motivation and his words are filled with excitement glory anticipation and every syllable has a sound of music!
Are you the wrong fit?
I'd like to see him play and crush the "Hostage Negotiator" card game.
it took me a few minutes to learn the finger trick :D
I think Rody Rody pipper in the WWF mastered those voices unknowningly.
Im sold
Chris, you have no idea how much this is helping me. Im so glad to have found you online. I hope you come to Florida because I will definitely be going to you. And I’m definitely picking up your book. Keep fighting the good fight brother, we need people like you. #Godisgood
I wish chris and jordan Peterson could talk about EQ.
jason burciaga Jordan Peterson is useless.
jason burciaga why would you want to see Dr. Peterson conversing with Chris?
They operate on 2 different plains that don’t directly correlate to each unless time wasn’t an issue. With Chris urgency is of utmost importance.
Peterson has time on his side that allows deep explanations and reasoning.
@Karl Marx Fuck Karl Marx.
His evil ideas has never worked in any single country who ever tried.
Marxism is trash for trash people to worship trash.
@@dblankenship88 it seemed interesting to me and thats all that matters
Well the wait is over. They were on a podcast together today
Very interesting; but he was unfortunately mistaken regarding the jus soli laws
“That’s. Right.”
Anyone catch the MacOS Trashcan getting emptied at 10:10 ? For a split second, I thought is was my Mac. Had to back up and listen again. LOL!!
Grand observation Watson! LOL!!
Lol 1:12 - 1:22. Talked this dude outta stabbing me a month ago. Easiest thing ever.
Sp. Agent Voss changed the way i order at Starbucks: you’re a “hostage” at ‘Bucks.
Introduce yourself to ‘Helen’ when you walk up to the counter. When Helen knows the hostage’s name, she’ll change completely
. I Promise You.
Can't wait to learn this...negotiating with my wife...tehehehehe
Keep in mind that he did get divorced lol.
35:43
“Away goes trouble down the drain.”
His 'late night fm dj voice' is more of a 'George Carlin saying anything' voice. Seriously, listen to video without watching and you too will be convinced its Carlin giving the presentation...without the punchline of course.
Especially when Voss is talking about the car jacking in Haiti.
The statement at 15:00 becomes less believable after Chris touches his nose but great video and what a specialist in his field.
In your theory 😁
Blessed are the peacemakers, they will be called children of God.
10:10 - Someone emptied their OSX trash can
As a school teacher I negotiate at least 100 times a day. I could really use this.
Can i please just negotiate for myself? :-) :D
It's very good.. but it is always the exact same speech, exact same jokes at the exact same moments. Unless it's an interview, and even then, he usually get the same takes. But I like it!
Because of this video I got my ex to confess
To what?
@@kflashcarr888 everything
I wonder... What IF.. One of his best mentee go to the dark side.. I really wanna know how the negotiation will go..
Is there any reason that I shouldn't get the best deal on everything in life?
Never Split the Difference: Beyond the Book course is so expensive. How m I suppose to pay that?
Negotiate
@@amplifiedbible07 ... professionally
The reasoning I’ve heard from other seminar presenters charging over 1k is this- people that get it for free don’t commit to the material like those who do pay. Some have experiment with a paid and non-paid group. The paid group always tends to be more serious and dedicated people. I know it won’t answer your question directly but it shines light on the situation. I don’t have 2k for the empathy course right now but I will get there.
Phrase I’ve used, “people know what their stuff is worth”
With a credit card
I had an epiphany while listening to this. "Does empathy work on a sociopath?" What's empathy? Understanding the feelings of another. The feelings of a sociopath is the _only_ thing a sociopath cares about. The real question is, does anything _else_ work on a sociopath?
Be a sixth level bard and realize many sociopaths are extremely manipulative; you missed the lesson in the literal statement.
@@fishhuntadventure I'm sorry, it seems like I was a little clumsy in what I've said here. It sounds like you've had dealings with sociopaths in the past and your insights and my insights are a little different.
I definitely didn't mean to say sociopaths aren't manipulative, infact most of the ones I've dealt with are excellent at it. What I'm trying to say is, it's not that sociopaths don't feel emotion or don't have emotions, it's that the impact of those emotions do not register to their conscience. The only thing they care about are their goals, their stated intended purposes to themselves and their emotional motivators for those goals and purposes. Now that's a totally different thing. You can see therein, they have emotions and emotional drivers and those emotions are the only thing they care about. (It's not surprising then that most of the ones I've dealt with in my experience are flagrant narcissists that only care about themselves.)
If empathy is just the recognizance of another individual's emotional state, and a sociopaths emotional triggers and drivers are the only emotions they care about, then with what we know from Mr. Voss and his take on negotiating, _what else could possibly work_ on a sociopath? I can tell you, looking back on it now, where my negotiations failed catastrophically with these people were when I tried to compare them with someone else. Like "How would you feel if you were them?" They don't care about "them" or anyone else that's not a part of their intended goal or target that doesn't serve a meaningful purpose to them. (That's also a trademark of psychopaths, these people tend to overlap.)
I can also say that, to some degree, given the immediacy of the intended goal or target, we can also slip into to these sociopathic or psychopathic behaviors. _These traits can become learned skill sets_ and that should scare the hell out of everyone. A very mild case in point. I knew this one guy at a call center, we were friends possibly for 12 years at the time, pretty much could clock this guy for who he was, outstanding individual, selfless. Never occurred to me once he was a sociopath. The guy volunteered at a Christian mission for literally Christ's sake. He becomes a supervisor, was doing an outstanding job, like I thought he would. I overheard a conversation he had with one of his team about his idle time on the phone and the guy says "How would you feel if you had to listen to customers all day berate you and scream at you." The thing this guy said (Tony was his name) baffled me. He said "I would feel grateful." Now I know for a fact that Tony used to unload on the weekends with us about that very particular thing and he's said on several occasions that he wouldn't put his team through that if he was a sup. Problem was, once he got to that echelon, he had to survive. So he learned from other "mentors" how to be a monster, essentially. And that's the other dark thing, the only reason these things are teachable are because they're in you. A lot of restless nights with that one.
Thanks for the talk however the pep talk about how great USA was a bit funny
From Iowa? GO HAWKS
This is george carlin from the dark timeline
Voss sounds like George Carlin
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!?????
George Carlin?
Interesting the guy prolly had GC script memorized and GC was able to see 1st hand the effects of the script.
Well, Mr. Voss's views are overall enlightening. The major message: empathize with your target in order to get what you want, whether it's a sale, a date, or a hostage. I get it and I understand its effectiveness. Why do people respond to this technique? Because humans have an innate need to be heard, acknowledged, and respected. In this regard, I'm mostly on board. Is this something new in man's inventory of knowledge? Of course not. It's practically as old as the primordial soup. However, if you have an agenda that does not include rescuing a hostage or anything of equally redeeming social value, then one needs to weigh the situational morality of this technique before applying it. The problem? We Americans are obsessed with winning at all costs and I'm afraid that Mr. Voss may have just opened up a Pandora's box for the less noble of our species to exploit. Just telling it like it is, folks.
Enoch Brown “we Americans want to win at all costs”! Maybe you should go to Nigeria, or Pakistan, or China or Columbia etc I think you will quickly find out that “we Americans” are on average way more ethical in the way we win!
Too late. The con men, fast talkers and used car salesmen already use this all the time.
@@nicklutsuk4961 Absolutely!
@@patmarco2251 I'm sure you're right, but Americans have historically made more money doing it. By the way, I don't know of any empathetic Nigerians or Chinese. What about you?
@@patmarco2251 "Way more ethical?" Really? Let's see. The Sackler family (Purdue Pharma) creating our opioid epidemic. Pharmaceutical companies charging Americans 10X more for a drug - insulin - that was given free to American companies by its Canadian creators many decades ago and tweaked (without any discernible benefit whatsoever) every so often to keep it from going generic. These companies are making billions while some of our citizens are dying because they're rationing their insulin. Google paying no taxes in the interest of gaining market share. Other big tech companies locating overseas to avoid paying their fair share of taxes to help keep American running. Strangely enough, if these were Chinese companies using these tactics, their executives would most probably be imprisoned without trial or executed by the state - which IMO is well-deserved. So, yes, Americans like to win at all costs and these companies - and many, many others in our country - prove my case. You would think, Pat, that Americans would riot just outside these executives' homes. But, no, we just accept their behavior with resignation. There was a time when Americans would raise hell and riot - or at least demonstrate or hold these people as well as our elected representatives accountable, but we've become a nation of timid mice focused on our own narrow lives.
Uh oh this was a year ago, someone in there got the rona.
#weaponizedempathy
The art of psychological manipulation.
Hey world, be authentic, speak Truth, come from Love.
Some might consider Jeffrey Toobin bad for business
Pro Tip: This stuff doesn't work on native rural Pennsylvanians. They shut down, will not engage.
I reaching into your brain by letting you reach into my brain.
Sounds much like George Carlin
Anyone: Literally says “pun”
Me: BAAHAHAHAHA😂😂😂
Chris, "Trust me I'm from the FBI". That is like hearing, "This is the IRS and we have a question". Also the guy that was a hostage in PI seems to have got out himself with no help from you. He walked to a farm. If I was that hostage for months!!!! I would be wondering why the FBI was sitting on their hands. This black guys life was a living hell, and you are like.........Oh, after a few months we didn't pay and he walked off. What a deal!
So, your child gets up on a Sat. morning hungry. You drink beer all day. He gets himself a bowl of cornflakes at 7:00pm, and you pat yourself on the back for feeding him. Great job government employee.
haha go become a FBI agent if you think you can do better instead of sitting on your ass and whining
Wtf do you even mean dude?
John Okeeffe at least we know your a narcissist. You’re probably flying around in your cape looking down on people because that’s the only way you can feel big.
This video should be called "FBI hostage negotiator uses Jesus' tactics: love, empathy, and compassion"
The volume is TOOO Low.... :(
That Jeffrey Toobin endorsement hasn’t aged well.