Is a woman responsible for chores in the house and serving her husband?
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Is a woman responsible for chores in the house and serving her husband?
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I don't believe it's mandatory for a woman to cook and clean, but if the wife isn't working outside of the home and doesn't want to do anything inside the home then that's an issue. In that case she is not contributing to the home or family and is jusy being lazy.
If a wife loves her husband and he is good to her then the wife usually does cook and clean and is happy to do so. In some cases men come home and complain about the food and the house and just makes the wife feel demotivated to do those things in the home. Now this is definitely not all cases, but I have seen this happen. And it doesn't hurt for the husband to lends a hand in the housework and cooking, as it will increase the love between them.
What if she does everything in the home but sometimes can’t cook because he doesn’t bring the food home and she can’t drive to the store as she’s home with kids. She does help when she can go out and buy the kids food but she can’t do everything on her own. There’s no food because he doesn’t help to bring it home but he does work. What should she do then?
we can debate about it but its obligatory on her in islam
I will be very happy to be a housewife. I just need men of my family (husband and sons) appreciate and respect me, also helping me when I am sick, pregnant or absent from home ( visiting my parents). If I work outside, contributing to pay household expenses, I am just too much tired to do all cleaning, cooking, shopping groceries all by myself. In this case I really need help, and it is justified. If I don't work outside, I don't mind doing all household chores all alone, I'll do it with pleasure.
the man is responsibble for shopping groceries so its ok
It was really disturbing, hard to focus on topic as you were talking while the video was going on as well .....
The problem is that some men have forgotten how to be kind to their wives and have no tact when asking her to do something. They abuse the fact that a woman must obey her husband and he forgets to be gentle and kind with her. Some men believe their wives must always serve them even if he is not tired or for example is off from work for the day he will still do nothing for himself😑.
Also, you must remember that not all women are good cooks or enjoy cooking and cleaning and this is along with caring for the kids, a 24/7 365 job-so she can get sad or even depressed if she is not allowed time off from these tasks. Men need to learn balance and kindness when dealing with the women in their lives. It is not unmanly to help your wife at home man she will love you more for it.
Well you started by saying the problem is some men...... I do agree to some men being like that, but it is not only the men who is the problem. It is also the women. I have seen and heard numerous stories where the woman is not kind to the husband and that does not get any attention at all! What i want to say is that, when people say it is only men, it is definitely not 'only' men.
What about when you repeatedly ask nicely with kindness and your wife still refuses to do anything 🤔
@@mon0theist_tv hire a servant or if its not working out she is too lazy u can divorce her and move on.
JazakAllah khair brother Gabriel for making a video on this subject. I used to cook and clean and look after my three children and also do outside chores and I also used to paint and fix things around the house. My husband never lifted a finger to help me but instead criticised me constantly that I was terrible at housekeeping and I wasn't raising my children properly. I did everything out the goodness of my heart.
May Allah reward you my sister
@@sakina5832 JazakAllah khair sister for you dua, I didn't mean to sound terrible but brother Gabriel's video is excellent. I wish I knew all this when I got married.
I feel crappy if I don't clean. Ibn Al Qayyim says if you clean your majlis you will have improved eyesight. Respect each other and all Muslims.
The husband also serves you in different ways. He may be bringing home things from the store on the way home. If a woman wants to work then there's a fatawa that she may even give her husband part of her salary in return to be permitted to work outside the home. Allahu aalam. Too much focus on these questions is even part of the problem today.
Let your husband iron (his own clothes) if he does a better job :)
I hate ironing sooo much!
i will never allow my wife to work im not a cuck who goes to work and splits bills and chores
so...she raises a large family...cooks...cleans...drives....school run....decorates/DIY...think of every household chore then multiply by 10....is forced out to work to provide basics for herself while he after retiring from PART TIME work....sits on his phone 24/7. I think I must be cursed.
Don't be ungrateful. How old are you and how old is he?
And why are you doing a school run?
Exactly
first of all lets get something straight she only works till the child is 20 years of age a man works forever and even if he retire he retire with money that isnt even enough to cover he's basics so he is doing more work than the women do
"The bottom line is, in a household, you gotta help each other out, be understanding, and respect each other's work and differences of opinion."
The fire not being lit in the house is referring to the times when no foods were able for prophet to cook and the prophet peace be upon him would eat dates as his main fuel substance
If the woman does not take care of her husband? He works and deprives himself for the sake of his wife, children, and household necessities, and the wife is sleeping and not doing anything in the house. The husband simply says marriage is a great responsibility and a headache. It's better to avoid it."
I work very long shifts but cook food in advance so that my family has home cooked food always. My husband is retired and very rarely lifts a finger. I think that there needs to be comprise so that both parties have dignity
Unless your husband is ill, injured and so on and so forth he should be working to provide for you.
If woman isnt cooking cleaning or working then why do we need them
If a man isn’t providing financially 100% not relying on his wife to work then why do we need them .. if he can’t support a wife he should fast according to the prophet
- if all he wants is a maid and cook then either stay under ur mums shawl or hire a maid - u don’t need a wife
@@itaz6276 if man is providing and wife is still not ready to cook?
@@itaz6276 man is only obligated to provide basic needs like simple clothes house and food if u want extra it means he will be doing more than what he needs to read quran plz she doesnt need husband
@@itaz6276 if she just want someone to provide for her and she doesnt want to cook clean and take care of her husband then she should just stay with her dad or get a job
Facts at that point she is useless😂
Khalid Yasin promoting simp behaviour
Nowhere in the quran or hadeeth does it say she must do it,most women do and will but When men start saying they "not obligated" to need to ask their wives permission to take a second wife hence we not obligated to cook and clean.
Wrong, husband doesn't need to ask permission to take a second wife. And if the husband instructed the wife to take care of the house chores, she should obey, doing chores is not an unreasonable ask.
@@equityjustice2695 The wife does not have to obey her husband in what is haram and in what goes against her rights that Allah has given her.
For in theory, Allah has given her rights and in practice, men do NOT have the right to take away the rights that Allah has given to women.
For example, if the husband asks his wife to work outside the home, to have a job, the wife does NOT have to obey (she is not obliged) because this request goes against her rights (that her husband should work for her and provide for her and her right not to work if she does not feel like it)
Just as the husband has no right to force his wife to work outside the home, he also has no right to force her to work inside the home through household chores because again this request goes against her rights as given by Allah. It is her husband's responsibility to provide for her and this does not only involve bringing in money but it involves providing for ALL of the woman's needs. Islamic marriage places this responsibility on the man, not the woman. Marriage does not imply that the woman works, either inside or outside the home. She may do so out of love and kindness, but she is not obliged to.
@@med7789 🤦♂️... You are the definition of ignorance. So from your 🤡 brilliant logic, a man is a slave to his wife?. I guess he should get pregnant and give birth also?🤷♂️😮💨. Where is your reference that to order ones wife to cook and clean is Haram? Do you ever engage your intellect?
@@equityjustice2695 I did not say it was haram
I said that women do not have to obey their husbands in 2 situations:
- in what is haram
- in what is against their rights
And it is their right not to be forced to work, whether inside or outside the home. Indeed, marriage does not imply that a woman has to work.
The woman can participate in household chores out of love and devotion but she cannot be forced to do so, just as she cannot be forced to have a job
ok so using this logic no where in the quran and sunnah does it say the man has to pay for gas electricity tution health the only thing he is obliged to pay for is food shelter clothin
Salamu Alaykum Ustdh Gabriel, I love your content and may Allah bless you and reward you for all the efforts that you’re actively doing for this Ummah. 5:06 one suggestion i have is to try to play the video then talk after. it’s very hard to follow when the you and the snippet are talking at the same time JZK
Chores are the responsibility of the stay-at-home wife, since the husband works outside, but he shouldn't treat her like a servant or slave by commanding and forcing her to do things or leaving his unwashed tea mugs everywhere just because she's doing UNPAID work !
Stop monetizing the value of woman Doesnt your husband go out to work for you and provide for you? Would you be okay if he kept the money for himself
@@yashaikha7324
A husband being compelled by Allah (swt) to provide for his wife does not mean she is his servant : she is his PARTNER and MOTHER of his children, therefore, they help each other as much as they can ! Also, Allah (swt) says through His Messenger (asws) that the man has to spend on his wife, even if she has her own money and doesn't need him to ! 😁
@@yashaikha7324
And no, my husband does not go out to work for me only, he also does it for himself and the kids. With or without me, he would still have to work, wouldn't he ?
@@ilhamh4359 what does that have to do with what you originally said about unpaid work
Your work is your duties to your family and the reward is with Allah
Not comparable to a corporate position
@@yashaikha7324
It has everything to do with what I said, since the husband gets money for his work, while the wife gets none, and because of this her husband might not recognize her efforts in addition to not spending even the minimum on her, because he might see her more as a servant than as his partner and co-helper.
In the past women used to stay at home and do the house work while the man did his job. In these times, that is different. Women have taken on the responsibility of the man of the house too. She does the house chores, raises the children, go to work, go grocery shopping, drive the children to school. The man goes to work and then acts like a baby. In this day and age, men should do housework and that is it.
House chores are her job you do realise that. Raising the children is primarily her responsibility obv shes gonna drive them to school or get groceries to cock. And like yoi said women have taken the responsibility its their fault if they want extra work dont complain to men
there are some men who would do chores
The prophet didn’t give his daughter a servant because it would have been an insult in her husband that her father was providing for her while her own husband was poor - if you recall he only had his sword and shield and sold his shield to have mahr to marry Fatema
The other Hadith u forget is when the prophet entered fatemas house and told her husband to cook so she can concentrate on raising the kids rather then having to do a multitude of things while her husband sat with his guests
It’s funny how these sheikhs only pick up on certain Hadith and not the others
There is absolutely no context that even says that. I am pretty sure the prophet of Allah SAW would never think hiring a servant is insulting just because of such a reason. What hadith are you talking about? Link it here.
If there's no issue in children "serving" their parents there should not be issue in wives "serving" their husbands. The aim is not serve the person as per, but Allahﷻ, The Prophet ﷺ & the Shari'ah. The persons in authority are often sinful, selfish & one would really like to serve such people. Even if they're not all that we shouldn't serve them solely for their sake
If a wife doesn't want to cook and clean and expects a maid, the husband might as well get a second wife.
And divorce the 1st cuz she is a useless wife no point in keeping her😂
Women are OBLIGED to obey their husbands in EVERYTHING that is halal. So yes, if the husband ask you to cook and clean and do all of that stuff, women are OBLIGED to do it. Now whether the man wants to help or not by his own will, is another story. It doesn't matter. What matters is, as long as what the husband is asking is permissible, she has to obey him in every, single, thing. That's why it's called "obedience". As long as it doesn't mean disobeying Allaah, she has to do everything she says.
True
Cap
Why only women have to obey ?? Is this make them lesser than men ?? She can have her own opinion.
@@kanishkaatrish29 the person who write that is a extremist ignore them
لكن طاعة المرأة لزوجها ليست طاعة مطلقة، وإنما هي طاعة مقيدة بقيود ثلاثة:
الأول: أنها لا تكون في أمر فيه مخالفة للشرع، فعن عليّ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه قال: لَا طَاعَةَ فِي مَعْصِيَةٍ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي الْمَعْرُوفِ. متفق عليه، فيحرم على المرأة أن تطيع زوجها في فعل محرم أو ترك واجب.
القيد الثاني: أن تكون في استطاعة الزوجة ولا يلحقها فيها ضرر، لقول الله تعالى: لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا {البقرة:286}. وقوله تعالى: وَمَا جَعَلَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ مِنْ حَرَجٍ {الحج:78}، ولقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي الْمَعْرُوفِ. وقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم: لا ضرر ولا ضرار. رواه مالك وأحمد وابن ماجه وصححه الألباني.
والقيد الثالث: أنها لا تكون واجبة إلا في أمور النكاح وما يتعلق به، قال ابن نجيم الحنفي: لِأَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ لَا يَجِبُ عليها طَاعَةُ الزَّوْجِ في كل ما يَأْمُرُ بِهِ إنَّمَا ذلك فِيمَا يَرْجِعُ إلَى النِّكَاحِ وَتَوَابِعِهِ خُصُوصًا إذَا كان في أَمْرِهِ إضْرَارٌ بها. اهـ
Marriage is a partnership, lots of these problems if they talk about this before.
Women do it by choice because it is in their nature and it makes sense since men are providing.
no they don't most women dont do chores because they want to watch tiktok and movies all day while her husband breaks he's back all day
@@zoneupgofacts
Unfortunately the editing is messed up
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Can you explain the Hadith where it says that whenever the prophet sas was home he would do what the wife did? So does that mean that during the day she does the chores and in the evening when he is home they do whatever might come together? (for example washing the dishes after dinner) or how is that hadith to be understood?
Let's ask this question from a different angle. Suppose you are the wife of the prophet. After he returns home, if he wants to do what you do like cooking and cleaning. Would you let him do it?
Answer is simple No. Why? Because you love and respect him. You would feel honour to do things for him. So marry the kind of man that you are gonna love doing things for him even without him asking.
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home. He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife. He would clean and see to his clothing himself.
Without being asked, if the couple help each other in day to day activities, it will make one appreciate the other. Likewise, one should try his best not to demand his/her spouse to do things too much. Whatever one can do himself, he should do. We need to be considerate of the spouse. The wife works tirelessly all day. So if the husband was to be considerate and realize his wife works hard, this will touch the wife. Likewise, if the wife was to go out of her way to see to the needs of her husband being considerate, it will induce a great spark of love between the two.
he didnt the hadith refer to him milking goat and getting the fire for aisha to cook and even if khadija did all the house chores why shouldn't she 🤔she isnt better than aisha and khadija using this logic is kinda bad tbh cuz the prophet wives used to feel insulted when the prophet did house chores
Can you upload subtitles to the video?
It is becoming very common for women to listen to some sheikh and pick and choose part of the lecture and than do whatever she likes. There is a big shift happening , thanks to the feminists and the westernised culture being exported by social media, tv, and mobile phones.
You serve a good man, husbands who go out and works hard to provide for u, not with a lazy bum. Who spends half their day playing games and sleeping on the couch and doing nothing. And has the audacity to force his wife to chores and he just sits on his day like a manchild.
Aslam w3lykum brother Gabriel! I knew you now a day b/c of Mufti mink.
You have so intersting topik but y u dont like wommen? b/c It seems like that.
@@ik5441 akhi you write long paragraphs
One thing ide like to point out
Women generally have a kind and a caring heart "generally"
Know what I'm about to say is the other side of the story
Women don't like being bossed about by another women i.e. mother in law
A lot of animosity actually comes from culturally driven women
Why lemme break it down
For example because of the Indian soap dramas and generally one pakistani culture of "your married in to the family so know serve us all"
Women have been subjected to slavery in the past and even know because of those cultures which becomes a prison for women. Not only that its because of the torture that's put on women by the in laws. The husband refused to acknowledge and tells her its normal and his mother used to go through the same etc. In other words toxic narcissistic traits.
Bottom line its the lack of sympathy empathy understanding from men that plays a huge role in women not wanting to stay with the in laws
I'm in the West and ALHAMDULULLAH i wasn't raised in a cultural driven society.
I'm in the medical field and I can assure you ALHAMDULULLAH I have been told that I am a caring and a dedicated person.
I'm single and refuse to live with inlaws regardless of anything else
Why? Because of fear akhi
Fear of being exploited and abused and no one listening.
As a women ive heard enough.
I would rather be seen as a heartless person than live a life of suffocation and oppression
Your a man I dont expect you to understand the traumas women go through by only emotional and verbal abuse. Men think that there mothers can do no wrong ( usually right and most are really sweet) but that's not the case always
You don't know how a womens brain works and similarly i don't know truly how a man's brain works
I think the only solution to the problem is transparency trust understanding and acknowledging a womens feelings and her fears
Giving her that trust that her voice will be heard and she will be protected and believed even if its against his family (ofcourse only if its true) Will then women consider staying at the inlaws
Its fear akhi
Fear of abuse that drives women away and its best to address the root of the problem
And its the toxicity and negativity thats attached to the mother in law being seen as the "monster in law"
When Aisha ra was asked how did prophet saw spend his day, she responded that he would serve his family, clean and mend his clothes. And this not a right that husband has over his wife.