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Social Anxiety and Body Dysmorphia | HOW ARE YOU FEELING | A DEPRESSION & ADDICTION DIARY | WK 2
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- čas přidán 12. 03. 2018
- In the second weekly "How Are You Feeling?" Mark and Nadia talk about panic attacks, body dysmorphia and the impact of living with social anxiety and being the partner dealing with it.
This is the best video I have ever seen describing on social anxiety.
You just dont know how likeable and admiring you are Mark 😊. so thoughtful of Nadia not telling you so early.👍🏼🥀
My best technique for never being nervous ahead of events is too channel mental fluidity.
By this I mean be prepared to change to fit the situation. Sometimes I even dip into a place of imagination and create ways to connect with people or events I am experiencing.
Basically, it's like the Bruce Lee quote says, 'be fluid like water, change to the shape of the glass instead of trying to change the shape of the glass.'
Hi guys, thank you for making this video! I’m 19 and I have been struggling with body image and body dysmorphia which has caused me to feel really depressed, I’ve been tackling this for years and felt alone and like I was the only one who had an issue with what they look like especially being male which made me feel as if I was stupid. However as of lately I came across these series of videos of how are your feeling, and it has really opened my eyes and has comforted me as I’m not as alone as I believed. So thank you so much!
MARK 🙋♀️ Just watched this now and I feel like that about the sunny weather Im not a fan of it 2 and I have social anxiety aswel to the point now that I don't go anywhere anymore unless I have to.. like appointments or shopping which is so uncomfortable for me😬 When I did go out I used drink as a crutch to often getting into terrible states and making a fool out of myself then waking up with the fear 😱 x
Gratitude journal can be very helpful.
Having a goal for each & every day that’s not too challenging but not too easily achieved either. It needs to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time framed.
Thought-labelling is a very useful technique too, whereby we simply notice that we’re having a thought that we may not want to be having but “it is just a thought”.
This develops an attitudinal shift by cultivating our “observing self”.
I’m having a thought that I’m repulsive & useless but it is just a thought”.
Repeatedly “installing” this as a self-observing exercise shifts our locus of evaluation to a more neutral “observing self stance” that lessens our hostility to self by reinforcing it as a attitudinal perspective we’ve cultivated & helps us put some healthy distance between fantasy & reality.
A useful question to ask yourself is;
“What is it, do I think, that I’m telling myself to make me this way?”
And;
“Where’s the evidence?”
This can help put things in perspective.
Albert Ellis the founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) used this regularly with his clients in both group & one to one therapy sessions to great effect for the vast majority, so it can help.
I’d love to hear your feedback btw?
bradrid@gmail.com
Wow. This might be the most relatable social anxiety video (I’m aware it wasn’t all about social anxiety) I’ve ever seen. And I’ve watched a lot because I’ve been diagnosed with it. I just want to reply to like every thing commented in this video. I guess I’ll start with being so disgustingly hard on yourself. So apparently, I didn’t know that I was hard on myself and that I was saying the most horrible things inside my brain. I really didn’t know. I mean I still don’t hear it, but it might be because it’s disguised as like helpful productive thinking. I think it all stemmed from how I was treated as a child. I would constantly tell myself when I was younger that I needed to do everything perfectly enough to not give my parents a hard time. I think it was from fear of being punished. And when I was punished, I’d think “well you aren’t trying hard enough. you aren’t doing perfectly what you are supposed to do. something is wrong with you”.
I know that I don’t have depression because I am the opposite weather wise if that makes you feel better Mark...the sunshine lifts my mood and I feel down when it’s overcast etc (slight element of S.A.D you could say) but the anxiety thing...I have always been shy and have got a lot better as I’ve aged but listening to yourself...I think I do have an element of anxiety in ‘social’ situations still at the age of 42...always worrying about what others think of me, saying the wrong thing, getting tongue tied etc and this has always held me back. But I never would have previously described this as anxiety but I now can totally relate to it. I am overweight and know it and not happy about it and that makes me lack confidence. You Mark look great to Nadia and the likes of myself body wise...so try to have confidence in that at least. You have so much going for you I would hate that to keep holding you back from enjoying sunny days when we have less excuse to cover up and more flesh is on display etc. When others compliment you therefore really try to take that in and feel some goodness from it. Thanks for doing such vids and being so honest...you’ll be helping so many peeps in doing so. Keep up the great work x
Beautiful couple. Nadia is a very strong amazing woman
I know how you feel trying to socialise. I always get so nervous to go out & meet friends. Always feel anxious with my blood pressure meds I’m on after having a kidney transplant in October.
Thank you so much for your videos. They help me so much. Keep strong. You are the most genuine lovely couple xx
I completely understand how you’re feeling, 1. I struggle the same with sunny weather and no one seems to understand, the worst thing is when someone says “it’s such a beautiful day!” 2. I had panic attacks this week which has never happened before, I’m normally just used to very low mood and anxiety, so it’s been really hard for me to get my head around and deal with 2. I don’t know whether I have bodydysmorphia because I don’t if it’s actually what I look like or not so I’m not sure how to tell which is a constant battle in my mind! Thank you so much for opening up, you have made me feel like I’m not alone and I’ve seeked help xx
Oh Mark I wish I could talk to you, I feel exactly the same as you and most of what you say resonates with me. The BDD for instance - took me ages to realise it too - what you see in the mirror is so real to you that when someone says “you’re not fat you’re not ugly etc” it means absolutely nothing so you kind of feel that in order to give yourself the label of BDD that you have to be mildly attractive or have nothing aesthetically wrong with you so you feel like a fraud giving yourself that label - I get it. I feel the same about going out and having fun, when it comes to the day (if I even manage to make the plans in the first place) I will go through every possible excuse to get out of it. I always worry about what people think of me, will they like me will I mess up and embarrass my partner?! Anyway.. I hear Rain is on its way and more cold weather don’t worry!! Speaking of which; Mark do you hate the summer? I can’t stand it!! When it ends I rejoice for the darker nights!! This comment is going to be all over the place as I’m watching it whilst commenting so keep jumping from subject to subject!! I would like to tell you Mark that you really are so vibrant, so handsome and so charming, you look like you have a gorgeous physique as well, so from one incredibly self critical person to another (I am also a harsh critic of others - I know isn’t it awful) I say to you that you are wonderful. Nadia give him a hug and keep telling him how much he means to you and that he’s never a burden. I think my husband feels the same as you Nadia, it hurts him that he can’t help me, but he does help just by being there and loving me unconditionally.. “warts and all” xxxxx Thank you both for sharing this personal journey - it helps people like me to continue working through these things and together we can help find the best pathways through this fog and out the other side where we start to relax and accept things for what they are. Xxx
Yasmin Webb sending hugs to you Yasmin 🤗🤗🤗
GoodThinkingTV Thank you, how lovely of you! Sending hugs back at ya xxx
What great advice I always feel the same it's great to share these problems u feel your not alone xx
It's really good hearing someone else saying what you feel...It makes you feel no alone
It just occured to me that maybe people who didn't have father figure are more prone to anxiety because they don't have that strenght and courage to be in the world that father teaches. My father died when I was a kid and I have enourmous problems with social anxiety, I just lack courage. Also, I heard someone say that problems with alcohol comes with lack of father figure. I think it might be true. I see this in my family. The solution is to learn that you are capable and should't be afraid. Dysmorfia comes from lack of acceptance of ourselves, we did'nt get that father acceptance.
That's a panic attack. I have bordaline personality disorder I got diagnosed at 16 I'm 26 now. My point is that is definitely a panic attack you described. You got a new sub ❤️
Sunny mornings are the WORST. Truly depressing to me. My mood changes immediately if I wake up to sun rather than overcast/rain. It sets the tone for the day.
I adore the videos you guys make, I feel like discovering your channel has been like making new friends :)
(So sorry for the gushing, lol)
Well I think your a lovely intelligent warm guy Mark..and your wife is just amazing.i can relate to a lot of how you feel.xx
Hi guys! Love this series so much. You're both fab. I have no idea if this is useful, or interesting to you - but I am a generally very confident, sociable person: very smiley and happy generally, but I do also suffer from serious bouts of social anxiety! In the exact way that Mark has described. So my comment would be - it is nothing to be ashamed of, and is certainly a normal thing to a lot of people. You both come across as such gorgeous, charming and vivacious people, so, Mark, those anxieties that make you feel socially anxious are certainly not a reflection of the "reality" of how you come across to others. It is always strange to see people who you think are wonderful (granted, I don't know you personally), think of themselves are these awful, negative, twisted things. The mind works in mysterious ways!! Thank you for your videos. XXX
"I look like a potato" - this is hilarious - you're both blimmin' gorgeous!!
frankietakesphotos
Thank you for this. It is so incredibly brave of you both. I can so relate to everything Mark is talking about, after living through these challenges after years of being a gregarious, sociable, confident person. Nadia - you are so beautiful and understanding. I am certain how you are helps Mark. I too have stopped self medicating and it is challenging. 😣
I find that having extremely low expectations for myself helps :-)
I get you mark, I had to stop drinking when I was just over 21 because I was so ill I had pancreatitis due to gallbladder and told me I can never drink again, I miss it when I out with my friends I can never let my hair down I feel like the odd one out its horrible
Oh my gosh. Yes! I thought I was literally the only person that felt like this about great weather. I moved from UK to California. Find it hard to deal with! I also have had the breathing thing with a certain antidepressant (Zoloft) I was on. Then you start to hyperventilate because of the not being able to catch your breath. Had to switch. OK now.
hi mark and nadia I really enjoy watching ur videos. It's so helpful the way mark describes how he feels on a daily basis and I can totally relate to it and it's so nice to know that ur not the only one feeling that way. 😊
Mark. You are so courageous
I had a panic attack on Monday morning. . I feel like you too Mark , about body and have social anxiety. I think I have been on citroplam ,didn't get on with it and at moment not on any anti-depressant , Have had a hysterectomy so just on hormone gel at moment.
And yes - having something planned too far ahead can be so tricky! My partner has agreed not to arrange anything now. You literally have to see how you are in that moment.
Nadia you and Mark are a lovely couple and your so strong
Feeling of impending doom!! Is the feeling it's awful...I'm safe in my home and can slob in trackie but when I go out I'd have to dress therefore body would be exposed ..avoid mirrors shower in dark ...I hate it 😵
I had an experience after a family issue where I started to have panic attacks could not even go out of the house I would get ready get to the door try and go out but could not go anywhere my feet would stop and I would start to panic this was all due
to my depression and how was feeling, with anxiety at the time I have had counselling and ect and trying myself and this has helped. It is our fears are our biggest enemies but we all give into them; I did not have a partner apart from having my Son whom has is own issues and is registered disabled he has learning difficulties.
A lovely strong couple I think Nadaia is good for Mark because she listens so well
Mark you have hit the nail on the head of how I feel on a day to day basis especially when you said that you feel like everything’s going to get taken away from you I’ve decided to go to healthy minds for CBT do u think this may work I’m 28 and fighting a constant weight and drink battle I’m in fear of everything like losing my parents losing my job all sorts of things and my mind starts to take over pls reply Amy xx
Nadia is right it is very presumptuous
Of yes I forgot to say Mark your fit as f**k 🤬. Your gorgeous,smart, talented, successful, kind hearted, funny, great son, father husband and did I mention your fit! Don't be doubting how you look or anything else about your self because you tick ✔️ everybox your a brilliant beautiful person 🥰👌💯🤗🤗🤗xxx
But the way you should have a link to this channel on your Nadia and kaye page
Relatable
Andropose is the male menopause, 3 month cycles of changing hormones.
Im going to make no excuses for seeing you as very handsome no matter the cloud that’s passing by. xx
Thanks for sharing. My anxiety and my mental clarity has improved by following a ketogenic life. Watch Dr.Berg on CZcams. It has changed my life. That and doing a gratitude journal. Only positive things can go in it. Even if it is as simple as my pup wagged her tail when I came home, or a stranger smiled at me. Warm shower felt nice. Etc it makes the positive to start out way the darkness
Fear of intimacy
Citalapram.are the worst and the they are the cheapest that's why the Dr's always prescribe Citalapram first xxx
Diazepam are a lot more effective on a detox xx
As long as they are reduced weekly x