Easiest way to get clicks these days is to tell people you have the answer for them feeling weird outside their comfort zone. Which is every person on Earth, it's part of the human experience!
I was always fearful of raising my hand, speaking, or drawing attention to myself in a classroom setting. Not only as a kid but also as an adult taking community college courses. An oral report was almost like a nightmare come true. It is painful struggle to fight with.
This gave me hope ❣️ Thank you . I'm 21 and I feel like social anxiety is robbing me of valuable experiences . The 'How my life would be if I messed up in 5 years ' tip is a great way to think abt things , I hope I can get rid of my anxiety
I really love the idea of creating the person you'd like to be in these new situations. The issue for me is that the anxiety comes out very physically. I get hives, I can get shaky and just visibly anxious and awkward. That's what makes it hard for me to appear confident and calm like I want to be. But I won't give up trying to transform my life. Thank you!
There are practices for calling the nervous system. I really recommend wim hof breathwork, do it for like 3-4 times a day on days when u experience lots of physical symptoms. There’s also eft tapping. But ofc do your own research before trying these things.
The best way to get through these feelings to is allow them to happen without giving them your attention. In time once you done this successfully you will see that it will gradually go away in time. Accept and allow without judging them.
I always knew I had social anxiety but but the reality hit me when my therapist confirmed it to me. I’m 21 and I feel rly annoyed abt how much energy social interaction takes away from me. Even the “normal things” make me anxious and visibly shaky and it feels like I won’t ever be able to change in that sense. But this vid made me a lil more hopeful thank you
That's a relatable video for me. Thanks for sharing. I had one year of selective mutism when I was 4 and had social anxiety after that. I only learned what it was quite recenlty (at nearly 35 !) and I think it's really important to understand what is shyness, what is introversion and what is anxiety. At least it helped me a lot to understand what was part of my personnality and what I needed to fix to become happier. I'm doing a lot better since 3 or 4 years. I challenge myself a lot nowdays and as you said, it helps.
U give me home. How old were u when u conquered ur anxiety. Im 26 and starting to lose hope. I rlly wanna change. I xant even get into a relationship because im too anxious to go on dates and when i do im too nervouse. I cant even get great jobs.
Thanks so much! I don't think it something I really "conquered" at one particular age. There were so many milestones as far as my social anxiety goes because I struggled with it for pretty much my entire life. But I will say that there was definitely a shift in how I viewed myself, which probably didn't happen until I was about 21 or 22. Don't lose hope! Everyone's journey looks different, so don't compare yourself to others who seemingly have it together. You'll get there in time.💕
School, for me, was one of the toughest times of my life. I made no proper friends, and I got bullied (physically and verbally) a lot. This completely destroyed my self-esteem. Even though I am now at Uni, I still, to this day, feel so nerverous to talk to people, other then the people who are in my classes who I see on a regular basis, therefore, I feel more comfortable talking to them in certain situations. However, due to my childhood struggles, I do not have the confidence in myself to approach people without thinking about disrespecting their boundaries. I overthink things a lot, which is another common problem amongst other people with social anxiety. Its so frustrating as its holding me back and preventing me from going out and socialising. Every time something embarrassing happens to me now, it brings back dark memories, and I would always think there is somebody laughing at me and making fun of me, even when I'm all by myself. All the things that I really want to do, such as asking someone in my course to hang out and study together, or even chat to a girl who I quite like, I cant, because i always think I'll make a fool out of myself and everyone will just think I'm trying to be needy and an attention seeker. Its infuriating, frustrating and upsetting, especially when you look on social media and you would see a massive group of friends having fun and laughing together. It literally makes your feel like an outcast and you don't have a belonging in society. I'd always feel like there is something wrong with me which would feel my up with guilt because i would just always assume Ive upset someone, even when I know, for sure, that I haven't done anything wrong. Apart from the odd few people in my class and my housmates, I'm lonely, and I get emotional very easily as I genuinely believed Unit would be the start of building friendships for life, but I should've known it was too good to be true. They say the older you get, you'll grow out of it eventually, but I'm not sure it ever will to be honest. I am so nervous for my job interview day....hopefully by that point, things will be slightly more easy
I was very touched by the part about how you envisioned the person you wanted to be, that made me tear up. I find this whole video very helpful. Thank you for making it ❤ I used to be a lot more outgoing but after a couple of years now of experiencing one failure after the other I've become more and more guarded and scared of showing people anything about me. I'm slowly trying to build myself up again and to dig my way out of this hole. It's tough
I had this too but Jesus set me free I am so thankful it wasn’t easy at all I started drinking alcohol to eaese my anxiety but it got worse. But now thankful to God I am free.
@@Moon-rn9hk So you think disease, cancers, sin, etc, were created by someone more powerful than God? Because if God didnt create them, who did? It must be someone more powerful than God then, because he is supposedly all powerful and all knowing... but, perhaps he isnt? But then, why call him God?
@frstchan im not Christian. But i have read the whole bible twice. Sin is the result of us simply being human. God isn't human. He cant sin. But humans naturally are able to. And its up to us to choose not to. Cancer and stuff could be the making of demons for all we know. Demons have free will just like humans. Once again im not religious but you trying to go at someones beliefs that help them is horrible asf.
@@devinwatkins8953 If God created EVERYTHING that INCLUDES... EVERYTHING. Sinning, Cancer, Diseases, Mutations, all the possible horrors you can imagine. All psychopaths, all mental illnesses, the way we feel pain, the way we suffer. ALL these things dont just magically appear without God actually creating them in the first place and allowing them to exist...
My social anxiety is the reason I'm hooked on Valium and it's HELL. Despite being on Valium i cannot go to a hair salon because i start shaking and twitching, my heart gets all heavy, my neck gets very stiff and it triggers a migraine... It's so awkward because usually the person doing my hair doesn't understand.
I definitely have clear cut case of social anxiety and I’m definitely not an introvert but an extrovert that are nervous of being judged negatively and made fun of like I did in school 🏫.
Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability. I’m sure you get this comment often, but you’re very eloquent with your words and speak with intent. I think there’s a misconception that introverts (or those who experience any social anxiety), are timid and can’t convey how they feel. This is confirmation that that’s simply not the case.
see i put myself in situations and I talk now but what i struggle with now is that I'm extremely awkward i embarrass myself when i put myself out there what the hek.
Damn, really good advice. The emphasis you put of desire is something I hadn't considered. Validating fantasy was really nice. I've done loads of research on psychology the last year, and realized fear is the key to everything. That and grief. Now I am slowly and cautiously allowing myself to experience fear and grief. It's helping. Thank you for the video.
Hello....I feel relaxed now and i wonder to know i am not the only one who have severe fear and dubtness of social situtations like simple thinks, buying a ,going to barber, using sometimes public toilet ...But sometimes i feel calm on the weekend ,Sometimes i feel unable to get out of house ,Sometimes i feel happy..Just i try to get out of my comfort zone , success in many things and make my day full of joy🎉🎉 ...I hope a happy life for anyone, then i hope that very extrovert people don’t judge anxious people about their behavior and accept all types of persons..❤ Some of my college friends says that i am a happy person and i know how to calm other people,I am optimist and very hopeful ,i have a strong personality in some social situations but i really don’t see it, I have bipolar disorder type 2 mixed with ocd and anxiety since 15 yrs old, i am 20 now (i generally don’t say that to people but i like to say and share that here because your video really calmed me down),I really don’t care about my symtomps much since 2021, I just try to look and see the positive of life ,participate in clubs in university and why not public speaking....but i know it is not that easy 😂😂😊, good day for everyone i hope a new life full of surprises ❤🎁🎁🎇
Thx for the video. I can relate to much of what you're saying. I myself have struggled with social anxiety and depression most of my life. And It's true what you're saying, that we all have a choice, whether to change or to stay the same. I found your advice on being intentional very useful. Who am I, and who do I want to be? And what do I want to contribute to or achieve in any situation? Do I want other people's opinions or expectations of me, define me and my life? No! Without clear intention or healthy expectation, we are left without any map or motivation.
I have been pretty reclusive because of my social anxiety, which I've had since high school, and peaked at age 18 but persisted even I to my mid 30s. It's been incredibly difficult thinking people automatically hate me, even if they don't. Social anxiety encompasses every facet of your life because well people are social creatures. It affects relationships, friendships, whether you reach out to family, ask help from CO workers, job interviews, asking people for recommendations is a HUGE trigger for me. You learn to adapt, and the older you get, the busier you get, the less time you have to feel nervous when it's urgent. Like, if you have to go to the bathroom and are too scared to ask the barista or grocery clerk for the restroom code. Those things, with time, get easier. You learn that people ask them that all day, and when you're older, it's like you get more invisible anyway. When you're young it's toigh- adapting in the real world. You wait for people to read your mind but they don't. When you're older you figure, okay if I really need it then I'll ask for help. And you end up realizing that you are essentially focused on just living to survive. You won't seek new hobbies or physical touch or try to elevate your career because you figure "well I got this far and I'm still alive so I must be doing something right. But human life is about thriving and not just surviving. People make fun of people with social anxiety. " Get over it. Or "Just do it" or " You're overthinking, just stop thinking so much" and they just assume it's a choice for us, like we can control how fucked up the anxiety is around new people. I take yoga classes to help me with the social anxiety, but the ironic part is, going there gives me anxiety because I don't want a lot of attention, even when the teachers or other students are cute or say hi and try to talk to me. In my teens it was worse. My breathing actually felt like wheezing. I still feel it in my heartbeat now. It is a lot more manageable, but I say this because after a long time having it, you learn to manage it. You learn to go without certain things but it does feel like you burn yourself. I got to therapy, take an SSRI for my depression, I try to meditate and do yoga and eat well. It's still tough. I'm hoping I can one day decide to change my life completely it for now I just try to do my best to manage it. If you read this far, thank you. I hope it gets better for you. I hope you become more confident and willing to take risks. It is painfully difficult but I've also learned those moments where we connect with others are so incredibly thrilling and rewarding and could 3ven change your life. Much love to you.
I also envisioned my future self when I was younger. As a guy, it didn't turn out like my future vision I had in mind, but at least I am over my social anxiety as well. The marriage and kids, well I guess I still have to work on that part. It may be that I can talk to someone I don't know for most things, but when it comes to asking a woman out I just met, I just feel too uncomfortable and just don't know how to do that. That is a thing I never figured out how to do as a guy, now the girlfriends I did go out with, they always started out as friends first so I could work my way towards asking them out, even though that often took years to do.
I turned 24 couple of months back and I'm just having serious anxiety attacks. Im also on my journey of loosing weight which also is one reason for my low confidence. Im trying my level best to be better.
ty for sharing the story, I teared up a bit when I listened to that. I always dream about how life could be so different without social anxiety, and your experience gives me hope.
I was always kind of a shy kid growing up but I don’t think I developed full on social anxiety until the 5th grade. I still remember that moment of not knowing how to respond to my crush tapping me on the shoulder and then pretending it wasn’t him. I said something pretty dumb, I don’t even want to say 🙄 and then somebody pointed out how red my face got and from then on I’d turn red for NO reason! Like, someone would be talking to me and then I thought what if I start to get red, and sure enough I’d start to get red. 😣 I finally went on meds when I turned 28 and it was literally life-changing! I was a happy, witty, charming Youth Minister for 8 years. I was doing so much better I decided to start to taper off the meds after 4 years. Unfortunately, I’m starting to flush red again for no reason at age 40. Currently trying to figure out how to get back on meds.
Can you please elaborate on what meds u had used? Also the doses and did it completely"cured" you of ur social anxiety? One things I've noticed with social anxiety is that we lack social skills, body language, and most times non verbal communication is impaired like face expressions etc. How do we cope with these & improve social skills and charisma and on the whole become a very confident, eloquent and charming person, as a result?
It’s always nice to hear people talk about this issue! I for some weird reason developed social anxiety in my mid 20s and now I’m in my late 20s and trying my darnest to conquer it. Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s nice to know I’m not alone with this stuff.
my problem is that i would try hard for the first few weeks when i get into a new environment. Then after holding onto two or three people, i would gradually step back to my comfort zone and back to the old me with social anxiety.😢also i subconsciously smile and giggle a lot to lessen eye contacts and make respomses lmao.
I've been there too, trust me. It's easy to feel like we're not making progress when we're "so close". This always made me want to retreat back in my shell when I felt like nothing was changing and I was inherently doomed. But I just tried to remind myself of those times where something did work out (had a good conversation with someone I just met, asked someone to hangout, introduced myself). Every time I had anxiety about those instances, it was never as hard as I thought it was going to be. So when I feel myself retreating I remind myself of those things. Hope this helps😌
My issue is that I blush, which is very visible and people even point it out, which is exactly what I dont want and what I fear. So my anxiety causes me to blush, which causes anxiety, which causes me to blush... I wish I "just" had the anxiety part, which it seems most people have. It would be a DREAM to ONLY feel the anxiety without any physical effect.
i understand you so much. it’s great to know i am not alone…every time someone talks to me i just start blushing and then…it makes the anxiety even worse lol! i send you love ❤️ i know exactly how you feel
I thought it was just me. I don’t even want to start talking because I know it’s gonna happen and as soon as I feel it start to happen it’s game over and I can’t even finish talking.
I had the same but then I started to use foundation or just a bit of powder to calm my cheeks down a bit and it helped with my confidence and you don’t see drastic change
Thank you for sharing your experiences with social anxiety and I'm so glad that you talked about your selective mutism because oh my god no one would believe me when I told them that I just didn't speak at all in school from 8th grade to graduation day. Most of high school sucked for me and having a not-ideal home life really made everything worse. It really stunted my social skills, and establishing and maintaining friendships is like solving a Rubik's cube to me. Life became lonely and not enjoyable until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. So like you mentioned in your video, I had to change my mindset and perspective and ever since then, I'm slowly but surely getting there! I'm still deathly afraid of social interactions and sometimes people can easily pick up on it. But compared to who I am now to the kid I was 10 years ago is something I'm so proud of!!!!!
this channel is like home to me, i can relate to it a lot. its been 10 months since you last posted a video, and i dont mean to bug you, but please lol i love them. come back when you feel like it, or ready
Holy shit! I think I'm on to something coming across this vid. Sounds like I'm doing the right things to move forward and conquer this nonsense feeling that even feels foreign to myself. When it arrives it controls me, but I still continue to do the things I love to do like karaoke and being at my 3 kids sporting events. This feeling is always their and I want to ball up and say fuck the world. I do it for my wife and kids and not make it about me(way easier said then done) . It hurts but what I'm learning here is to acknowledge bravery and be proud. One thing I've learned along time ago somehow is, this feeling is not me and it's not mine so I always push forward hoping and knowing one day this feeling will leave me. I keep in mind I wouldn't wish this on anybody and if I have to carry this for someone else I will. I'm 40 now but I know this has been with me all my life. Grew up in a broken home in southern Cali, but have since built a beautiful close family of 5. Just a little about me. Anyway other wisdom out there, I'll take it. Thank you. Just a normal dude, Matt
in my case ive have no issues interacting with strangers for me the problem arises with the people ive known for a longer period especially at work places for instance with the managers or any person with an authority I have very limited freinds and recently my SAD have started to cause trouble with them also i can feel loosing the only two freinds I have I am even feeling awkard with my two siblings...the feelings are debilitaing...
I have social anxiety and a couple of years ago I lost the relationship I had with my bestfriend which was also really toxic( I depended on her to socialize and have friends) and now I have a partner but no friendships, I'm trying my best to put myself out there but people still tell me I'm too shy... It's hard
I so relate to this! Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I definitely fell into that trap of depending on some of those extroverts in my life to carry me through those tough social situations and meeting new people. Putting yourself out there is hard, I've been there. What helped me was putting in extra uncomfortable effort to cultivating good relationships with the acquaintances I had in my life. If you want to have strong friendships you have to put in the work (you reaching out first, you making plans once a week or every other week, etc.) What I started doing was making it a habit to have some kind of interaction with those friendships once a week to help them flourish. Hope this helps. 😊 I know it's hard... you got this!
If u did that so easily it means u prolly didn't have it in the first place. Talking to people while having social anxiety makes your brain go blank so idek how u even giving jks to strangers and being whoever u wanted.
For reference, this is something I tried after pretty much my entire life living with social anxiety. This wasn't something that just happened overnight. It took a long way before getting to this point. Take a look at some of my other videos where I talked about my SM - maybe this will make a little more sense for you💜
Do not take the medication if they are bezodiazepines. They gave me a neurological disorder called post acute withdrawal syndrome and I've been struggling because of it for five years.
No I haven't.. just never felt like it was the right thing for me. And I was thinking of maybe making a video on this topic! I think it would be super helpful for those who struggle with relationships/dating when they have anxiety.
Try propanolol, it controls your heart rate and blood pressure so you're not expecting panic during the flight or fight response so your anxiety is manageable. Go to therapy also
I always knew I had social anxiety but but the reality hit me when my therapist confirmed it to me. I’m 21 and I feel rly annoyed abt how much energy social interaction takes away from me. Even the “normal things” make me anxious and visibly shaky and it feels like I won’t ever be able to change in that sense. But this vid made me a lil more hopeful thank you
Easiest way to get clicks these days is to tell people you have the answer for them feeling weird outside their comfort zone. Which is every person on Earth, it's part of the human experience!
I was always fearful of raising my hand, speaking, or drawing attention to myself in a classroom setting. Not only as a kid but also as an adult taking community college courses. An oral report was almost like a nightmare come true. It is painful struggle to fight with.
I have the same problem. Hope we will win this shit.
This gave me hope ❣️ Thank you . I'm 21 and I feel like social anxiety is robbing me of valuable experiences . The 'How my life would be if I messed up in 5 years ' tip is a great way to think abt things , I hope I can get rid of my anxiety
thank you too
I really love the idea of creating the person you'd like to be in these new situations. The issue for me is that the anxiety comes out very physically. I get hives, I can get shaky and just visibly anxious and awkward. That's what makes it hard for me to appear confident and calm like I want to be. But I won't give up trying to transform my life. Thank you!
Speak to your doctor about propranolol or another beta blocker. It blocks the physical sensations of anxiety and helps you be more present :)
There are practices for calling the nervous system. I really recommend wim hof breathwork, do it for like 3-4 times a day on days when u experience lots of physical symptoms. There’s also eft tapping. But ofc do your own research before trying these things.
The best way to get through these feelings to is allow them to happen without giving them your attention. In time once you done this successfully you will see that it will gradually go away in time. Accept and allow without judging them.
@@Bamazrollin Exactly, this is what helped me. I just surrendered to it and it just goes away
I always knew I had social anxiety but but the reality hit me when my therapist confirmed it to me. I’m 21 and I feel rly annoyed abt how much energy social interaction takes away from me. Even the “normal things” make me anxious and visibly shaky and it feels like I won’t ever be able to change in that sense. But this vid made me a lil more hopeful thank you
That's a relatable video for me. Thanks for sharing.
I had one year of selective mutism when I was 4 and had social anxiety after that. I only learned what it was quite recenlty (at nearly 35 !) and I think it's really important to understand what is shyness, what is introversion and what is anxiety. At least it helped me a lot to understand what was part of my personnality and what I needed to fix to become happier.
I'm doing a lot better since 3 or 4 years. I challenge myself a lot nowdays and as you said, it helps.
U give me home. How old were u when u conquered ur anxiety. Im 26 and starting to lose hope. I rlly wanna change. I xant even get into a relationship because im too anxious to go on dates and when i do im too nervouse. I cant even get great jobs.
Thanks so much! I don't think it something I really "conquered" at one particular age. There were so many milestones as far as my social anxiety goes because I struggled with it for pretty much my entire life. But I will say that there was definitely a shift in how I viewed myself, which probably didn't happen until I was about 21 or 22. Don't lose hope! Everyone's journey looks different, so don't compare yourself to others who seemingly have it together. You'll get there in time.💕
The bliss feeling after socializing in a way you don’t usually!!
School, for me, was one of the toughest times of my life. I made no proper friends, and I got bullied (physically and verbally) a lot. This completely destroyed my self-esteem.
Even though I am now at Uni, I still, to this day, feel so nerverous to talk to people, other then the people who are in my classes who I see on a regular basis, therefore, I feel more comfortable talking to them in certain situations.
However, due to my childhood struggles, I do not have the confidence in myself to approach people without thinking about disrespecting their boundaries. I overthink things a lot, which is another common problem amongst other people with social anxiety.
Its so frustrating as its holding me back and preventing me from going out and socialising.
Every time something embarrassing happens to me now, it brings back dark memories, and I would always think there is somebody laughing at me and making fun of me, even when I'm all by myself. All the things that I really want to do, such as asking someone in my course to hang out and study together, or even chat to a girl who I quite like, I cant, because i always think I'll make a fool out of myself and everyone will just think I'm trying to be needy and an attention seeker.
Its infuriating, frustrating and upsetting, especially when you look on social media and you would see a massive group of friends having fun and laughing together. It literally makes your feel like an outcast and you don't have a belonging in society.
I'd always feel like there is something wrong with me which would feel my up with guilt because i would just always assume Ive upset someone, even when I know, for sure, that I haven't done anything wrong.
Apart from the odd few people in my class and my housmates, I'm lonely, and I get emotional very easily as I genuinely believed Unit would be the start of building friendships for life, but I should've known it was too good to be true.
They say the older you get, you'll grow out of it eventually, but I'm not sure it ever will to be honest.
I am so nervous for my job interview day....hopefully by that point, things will be slightly more easy
I was very touched by the part about how you envisioned the person you wanted to be, that made me tear up. I find this whole video very helpful. Thank you for making it ❤
I used to be a lot more outgoing but after a couple of years now of experiencing one failure after the other I've become more and more guarded and scared of showing people anything about me. I'm slowly trying to build myself up again and to dig my way out of this hole. It's tough
I had this too but Jesus set me free I am so thankful it wasn’t easy at all I started drinking alcohol to eaese my anxiety but it got worse. But now thankful to God I am free.
You should ask Jesus/God why he gave it to you in the first place.
@@frstchanit's not Jesus that gave us this it's thru generational trauma and sins..
@@Moon-rn9hk So you think disease, cancers, sin, etc, were created by someone more powerful than God? Because if God didnt create them, who did? It must be someone more powerful than God then, because he is supposedly all powerful and all knowing... but, perhaps he isnt? But then, why call him God?
@frstchan im not Christian. But i have read the whole bible twice. Sin is the result of us simply being human. God isn't human. He cant sin. But humans naturally are able to. And its up to us to choose not to. Cancer and stuff could be the making of demons for all we know. Demons have free will just like humans. Once again im not religious but you trying to go at someones beliefs that help them is horrible asf.
@@devinwatkins8953 If God created EVERYTHING that INCLUDES... EVERYTHING. Sinning, Cancer, Diseases, Mutations, all the possible horrors you can imagine. All psychopaths, all mental illnesses, the way we feel pain, the way we suffer.
ALL these things dont just magically appear without God actually creating them in the first place and allowing them to exist...
My social anxiety is the reason I'm hooked on Valium and it's HELL. Despite being on Valium i cannot go to a hair salon because i start shaking and twitching, my heart gets all heavy, my neck gets very stiff and it triggers a migraine... It's so awkward because usually the person doing my hair doesn't understand.
I definitely have clear cut case of social anxiety and I’m definitely not an introvert but an extrovert that are nervous of being judged negatively and made fun of like I did in school 🏫.
Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability. I’m sure you get this comment often, but you’re very eloquent with your words and speak with intent.
I think there’s a misconception that introverts (or those who experience any social anxiety), are timid and can’t convey how they feel. This is confirmation that that’s simply not the case.
Congrats. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. 🙂
Thank you!
see i put myself in situations and I talk now but what i struggle with now is that I'm extremely awkward i embarrass myself when i put myself out there what the hek.
Damn, really good advice. The emphasis you put of desire is something I hadn't considered. Validating fantasy was really nice. I've done loads of research on psychology the last year, and realized fear is the key to everything. That and grief. Now I am slowly and cautiously allowing myself to experience fear and grief. It's helping. Thank you for the video.
Hello....I feel relaxed now and i wonder to know i am not the only one who have severe fear and dubtness of social situtations like simple thinks, buying a ,going to barber, using sometimes public toilet ...But sometimes i feel calm on the weekend ,Sometimes i feel unable to get out of house ,Sometimes i feel happy..Just i try to get out of my comfort zone , success in many things and make my day full of joy🎉🎉 ...I hope a happy life for anyone, then i hope that very extrovert people don’t judge anxious people about their behavior and accept all types of persons..❤
Some of my college friends says that i am a happy person and i know how to calm other people,I am optimist and very hopeful ,i have a strong personality in some social situations but i really don’t see it, I have bipolar disorder type 2 mixed with ocd and anxiety since 15 yrs old, i am 20 now (i generally don’t say that to people but i like to say and share that here because your video really calmed me down),I really don’t care about my symtomps much since 2021, I just try to look and see the positive of life ,participate in clubs in university and why not public speaking....but i know it is not that easy 😂😂😊, good day for everyone i hope a new life full of surprises ❤🎁🎁🎇
Thx for the video. I can relate to much of what you're saying. I myself have struggled with social anxiety and depression most of my life. And It's true what you're saying, that we all have a choice, whether to change or to stay the same. I found your advice on being intentional very useful. Who am I, and who do I want to be? And what do I want to contribute to or achieve in any situation? Do I want other people's opinions or expectations of me, define me and my life? No! Without clear intention or healthy expectation, we are left without any map or motivation.
Wish i knew more about this in my youth(54).Maybe my life would have turned in different direction.Not being scared all the time.
I have been pretty reclusive because of my social anxiety, which I've had since high school, and peaked at age 18 but persisted even I to my mid 30s. It's been incredibly difficult thinking people automatically hate me, even if they don't. Social anxiety encompasses every facet of your life because well people are social creatures. It affects relationships, friendships, whether you reach out to family, ask help from CO workers, job interviews, asking people for recommendations is a HUGE trigger for me. You learn to adapt, and the older you get, the busier you get, the less time you have to feel nervous when it's urgent. Like, if you have to go to the bathroom and are too scared to ask the barista or grocery clerk for the restroom code. Those things, with time, get easier. You learn that people ask them that all day, and when you're older, it's like you get more invisible anyway. When you're young it's toigh- adapting in the real world. You wait for people to read your mind but they don't. When you're older you figure, okay if I really need it then I'll ask for help. And you end up realizing that you are essentially focused on just living to survive. You won't seek new hobbies or physical touch or try to elevate your career because you figure "well I got this far and I'm still alive so I must be doing something right.
But human life is about thriving and not just surviving. People make fun of people with social anxiety. " Get over it. Or "Just do it" or " You're overthinking, just stop thinking so much" and they just assume it's a choice for us, like we can control how fucked up the anxiety is around new people.
I take yoga classes to help me with the social anxiety, but the ironic part is, going there gives me anxiety because I don't want a lot of attention, even when the teachers or other students are cute or say hi and try to talk to me. In my teens it was worse. My breathing actually felt like wheezing. I still feel it in my heartbeat now. It is a lot more manageable, but I say this because after a long time having it, you learn to manage it. You learn to go without certain things but it does feel like you burn yourself. I got to therapy, take an SSRI for my depression, I try to meditate and do yoga and eat well. It's still tough. I'm hoping I can one day decide to change my life completely it for now I just try to do my best to manage it.
If you read this far, thank you. I hope it gets better for you. I hope you become more confident and willing to take risks. It is painfully difficult but I've also learned those moments where we connect with others are so incredibly thrilling and rewarding and could 3ven change your life. Much love to you.
I also envisioned my future self when I was younger. As a guy, it didn't turn out like my future vision I had in mind, but at least I am over my social anxiety as well. The marriage and kids, well I guess I still have to work on that part. It may be that I can talk to someone I don't know for most things, but when it comes to asking a woman out I just met, I just feel too uncomfortable and just don't know how to do that. That is a thing I never figured out how to do as a guy, now the girlfriends I did go out with, they always started out as friends first so I could work my way towards asking them out, even though that often took years to do.
I turned 24 couple of months back and I'm just having serious anxiety attacks. Im also on my journey of loosing weight which also is one reason for my low confidence. Im trying my level best to be better.
ty for sharing the story, I teared up a bit when I listened to that. I always dream about how life could be so different without social anxiety, and your experience gives me hope.
I was always kind of a shy kid growing up but I don’t think I developed full on social anxiety until the 5th grade. I still remember that moment of not knowing how to respond to my crush tapping me on the shoulder and then pretending it wasn’t him. I said something pretty dumb, I don’t even want to say 🙄 and then somebody pointed out how red my face got and from then on I’d turn red for NO reason! Like, someone would be talking to me and then I thought what if I start to get red, and sure enough I’d start to get red. 😣 I finally went on meds when I turned 28 and it was literally life-changing! I was a happy, witty, charming Youth Minister for 8 years. I was doing so much better I decided to start to taper off the meds after 4 years. Unfortunately, I’m starting to flush red again for no reason at age 40. Currently trying to figure out how to get back on meds.
Can you please elaborate on what meds u had used? Also the doses and did it completely"cured" you of ur social anxiety?
One things I've noticed with social anxiety is that we lack social skills, body language, and most times non verbal communication is impaired like face expressions etc. How do we cope with these & improve social skills and charisma and on the whole become a very confident, eloquent and charming person, as a result?
It’s always nice to hear people talk about this issue! I for some weird reason developed social anxiety in my mid 20s and now I’m in my late 20s and trying my darnest to conquer it. Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s nice to know I’m not alone with this stuff.
💕
my problem is that i would try hard for the first few weeks when i get into a new environment. Then after holding onto two or three people, i would gradually step back to my comfort zone and back to the old me with social anxiety.😢also i subconsciously smile and giggle a lot to lessen eye contacts and make respomses lmao.
I've been there too, trust me. It's easy to feel like we're not making progress when we're "so close". This always made me want to retreat back in my shell when I felt like nothing was changing and I was inherently doomed. But I just tried to remind myself of those times where something did work out (had a good conversation with someone I just met, asked someone to hangout, introduced myself). Every time I had anxiety about those instances, it was never as hard as I thought it was going to be. So when I feel myself retreating I remind myself of those things. Hope this helps😌
@@BridgetHallisey thanks a lot!!
My issue is that I blush, which is very visible and people even point it out, which is exactly what I dont want and what I fear. So my anxiety causes me to blush, which causes anxiety, which causes me to blush... I wish I "just" had the anxiety part, which it seems most people have. It would be a DREAM to ONLY feel the anxiety without any physical effect.
i understand you so much. it’s great to know i am not alone…every time someone talks to me i just start blushing and then…it makes the anxiety even worse lol! i send you love ❤️ i know exactly how you feel
I thought it was just me. I don’t even want to start talking because I know it’s gonna happen and as soon as I feel it start to happen it’s game over and I can’t even finish talking.
I had the same but then I started to use foundation or just a bit of powder to calm my cheeks down a bit and it helped with my confidence and you don’t see drastic change
Thank you for sharing your experiences with social anxiety and I'm so glad that you talked about your selective mutism because oh my god no one would believe me when I told them that I just didn't speak at all in school from 8th grade to graduation day.
Most of high school sucked for me and having a not-ideal home life really made everything worse. It really stunted my social skills, and establishing and maintaining friendships is like solving a Rubik's cube to me. Life became lonely and not enjoyable until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. So like you mentioned in your video, I had to change my mindset and perspective and ever since then, I'm slowly but surely getting there!
I'm still deathly afraid of social interactions and sometimes people can easily pick up on it. But compared to who I am now to the kid I was 10 years ago is something I'm so proud of!!!!!
I always think about this when I’ve had a bad day or bad interaction! Just seeing how far I’ve come and how much I’ve changed is so rewarding.
thanks for advice ma'am! Also, I am quite amazed at how brave you are to have gone through those struggles, it's inspiring🙂
this channel is like home to me, i can relate to it a lot. its been 10 months since you last posted a video, and i dont mean to bug you, but please lol i love them. come back when you feel like it, or ready
Holy shit! I think I'm on to something coming across this vid. Sounds like I'm doing the right things to move forward and conquer this nonsense feeling that even feels foreign to myself. When it arrives it controls me, but I still continue to do the things I love to do like karaoke and being at my 3 kids sporting events. This feeling is always their and I want to ball up and say fuck the world. I do it for my wife and kids and not make it about me(way easier said then done) . It hurts but what I'm learning here is to acknowledge bravery and be proud. One thing I've learned along time ago somehow is, this feeling is not me and it's not mine so I always push forward hoping and knowing one day this feeling will leave me. I keep in mind I wouldn't wish this on anybody and if I have to carry this for someone else I will. I'm 40 now but I know this has been with me all my life. Grew up in a broken home in southern Cali, but have since built a beautiful close family of 5. Just a little about me. Anyway other wisdom out there, I'll take it. Thank you.
Just a normal dude, Matt
I am so happy to hear a story similar to mine ❤
It's the blushing that has ruined my life
in my case ive have no issues interacting with strangers for me the problem arises with the people ive known for a longer period especially at work places for instance with the managers or any person with an authority I have very limited freinds and recently my SAD have started to cause trouble with them also i can feel loosing the only two freinds I have I am even feeling awkard with my two siblings...the feelings are debilitaing...
Wow, how do even have the motivation to push yourself to get out of that scary zone?
I appreciate you share you experience, I have as well the same problem and now I take action and overcome this. I send you a big hug 🤗
Thank you so much! And so glad you’re overcoming it💕
I have social anxiety and a couple of years ago I lost the relationship I had with my bestfriend which was also really toxic( I depended on her to socialize and have friends) and now I have a partner but no friendships, I'm trying my best to put myself out there but people still tell me I'm too shy... It's hard
I so relate to this! Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I definitely fell into that trap of depending on some of those extroverts in my life to carry me through those tough social situations and meeting new people. Putting yourself out there is hard, I've been there. What helped me was putting in extra uncomfortable effort to cultivating good relationships with the acquaintances I had in my life. If you want to have strong friendships you have to put in the work (you reaching out first, you making plans once a week or every other week, etc.) What I started doing was making it a habit to have some kind of interaction with those friendships once a week to help them flourish. Hope this helps. 😊 I know it's hard... you got this!
You’re not alone love.I’m the same.sending hugs
I think the worst part is thinking you’re doing better but people still telling you you’re shy and or awkward.
Great video! I think more awareness is needed.
I think so too!
I done all this... I done it for 2 years, 10 hours a day... it done nothing
This video helped me so much. Thank you ❤
Thank you! So glad you thought so💜
Thank u so much ..I only can use youtup in where I live no way to find help ..your video is helpful
Hello please suggest me what is the way to permanently end my social anxiety and just become like other people
1 yr late, but thanks for sharing your experience with us.
4:09 really got me thinking
If u did that so easily it means u prolly didn't have it in the first place. Talking to people while having social anxiety makes your brain go blank so idek how u even giving jks to strangers and being whoever u wanted.
For reference, this is something I tried after pretty much my entire life living with social anxiety. This wasn't something that just happened overnight. It took a long way before getting to this point. Take a look at some of my other videos where I talked about my SM - maybe this will make a little more sense for you💜
Why is so beautiful people suffer from social anxiety?
Thanks for your advice! I definitely have noticed improvement over time . Do you have tips I can use to get a girl ?
Thank you! here's a video I posted about attraction. Different perspective, but principles are the same. 😊 czcams.com/video/BFcct6uJNgY/video.html
I feel like I'm the only one with social anxiety in my whole school
I felt that way too. Trust me, you're not alone!
@@BridgetHallisey :)
Have u ever talken medss for ur anxiety. Also i womder how u met ur husband with anxiety
Do not take the medication if they are bezodiazepines. They gave me a neurological disorder called post acute withdrawal syndrome and I've been struggling because of it for five years.
No I haven't.. just never felt like it was the right thing for me. And I was thinking of maybe making a video on this topic! I think it would be super helpful for those who struggle with relationships/dating when they have anxiety.
Try propanolol, it controls your heart rate and blood pressure so you're not expecting panic during the flight or fight response so your anxiety is manageable. Go to therapy also
@@HolisticDramaFree thx ive tried that but didnt rlly notice anything.
Meds are no silver bullet to fix the problem. Anti anxiety meds can aid and help some but the rest is all your own will power
Can you be who you really are or is this just a persona that you project to be accepted?
Talking this much is not social anxiety
Real
Can I talk to you?
Feel free to send a message on instagram! @bridgetjohir
so fake it till you make it and step out of your comfort zone? eh
I always knew I had social anxiety but but the reality hit me when my therapist confirmed it to me. I’m 21 and I feel rly annoyed abt how much energy social interaction takes away from me. Even the “normal things” make me anxious and visibly shaky and it feels like I won’t ever be able to change in that sense. But this vid made me a lil more hopeful thank you