grief during the holidays, mourning is a must after a loss, and how gratitude is not instant
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- čas přidán 22. 12. 2023
- Our sorrows drew us together. I was going mental from the death of my father around the time of my postpartum. And it progressed further into depression and even passive suicidal thoughts because of my problems as a wife and "church leader." Because those experiences made me talk about them for the purpose of making people feel seen and heard and known that it also brought Nathan into our life. He is a great gift after my bout of misery. And you will know why when you see this vlog. A raw and rather casual account of what it's like to lose a mother because of and in the time of Covid, contemplations on grief as differently experienced, how non-grief is detrimental and mourning is a must, and finding hope, healing, even gratitude, even after such loss. I hope this makes all of you who aren't having the best of time and life at this time feel a little less alone tonight. Sorry Christmases are always going to be a reality, but by the end of this video I actually say why Christmas is still Christmas even when it isn't merry.
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My father died mid this year. It was a sudden death. Being in a medical field, I witnessed different kinds of death. But my father's was the most painful one. No words can explain how I felt that time.
I couldn't even share that I lost my father. Not even a single co-worker knew about it. It wouldn't bring back his life anyway.
I never cried during the wake and during the funeral. I was so distant. I never visited his grave since he died. He always appeared in my dreams many times. In my mind, I will not let him go, I will not visit him, so that he will visit me in my dreams. So selfish but I just can't let him go. Not yet.
This Christmas, this will be the first time that we are not complete. No Christmas lights are enough to lit up all the dark corners.
I couldn't greet people a Merry Christmas. And I hope that's okay.
It is. Cause it really isn’t. Comfort be upon you. 😢
Our grandma passed away just last Friday, and it's going to be our first Christmas without her. This video felt like a warm hug to everyone who's grieving this season. Thank you, Ate Rica!
❤❤❤
Thank you for this, Ms. Rica. In the midst of twinkling lights and festive cheer, this Christmas holds a different hue for me. Five months ago, my world shifted as I said goodbye to my beloved grandmother. Her absence echoes in the holiday melodies and twinkling decorations. Then suddenly 2 of my dear cousins joined her on the other side as well this year. Parang 3x back to back na dagok sa family namin. It’s important that you have friends and family that you can count on during difficult times. But one thing I realized is that God’s will and plan will always be better than ours. I pray for everyones healing. May the challenges of this year pave the way for resilience, strength, and newfound joy. Together, let's embrace the promise of a hopeful tomorrow.
I lost my Dad almost 10 years ago. I remember how I cried so hard when he was lifeless in the morning (a good death, I would think).. But I was able to be happy again because I still have my mom. Then I lost my mom last 2023 May. It was the most heart wrenching experience of my life seeing her degrading slowly and violently.. it was like not her anymore. I wouldn't question why that happened to her. but it was really painful to witness..
I am fine and living (maybe thriving) well, but I feel that life is not exciting anymore and I feel that I am just existing. I felt that sense of void in my heart.
If only I could just go with them, I would do it coz I feel I had enough of life experiences and nothing will make me happy again. I'm just going on with life so I will be comfortable with life as long as I am living. My only goal is just to have a peaceful and worry free life.
I haven't watch the vlog yet. I just want to share that I lost both of my parents days apart last August 2021. This is my 3rd Christmas without them. Every year during holiday season I let myself be consumed with sadness and grief. Di ko pinipilit maging masaya kase hindi naman talaga ako masaya. I'm happy for other people. Choice ko lang talaga hindi magcelebrate . And that is ok for me.✨
HAPPY HOLIDAYS PO. MS. RICA!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫰🫰🫰🫰🫰🫰
When grieving is not only for the poeple who pass but who you have chosen to let go, this is So beautiful.. have a meaningful christmas to you and your family.
My mother passed away last July 2023, before that i had 2 brother died January 2022 and Nov 2022,it really can’t explain the feeling of loss no definition of losing a mother and I didn’t grief because I had to be ok because I have a son that need my care a work for us to survive, i know in gods help day by day baby steps I will be used to, every single day I always remember my mother and siblings, I’m praying that somehow we all be healed and find our joy again, thankyou god for being my comfort….
"Di ko pala kailangan ng Merry Christmas...tama na palang may Christmas.."
Thank you for this Ms. Rica. This could not be more timely! I have experieced all kinds of losses this year. This year alone two of my beloved family members passed, I failed two career exams twice this year also, and I experienced other heartbreaks in between. I would sometimes joke quota ko na ata ang 2023. But TBVH, I really don't feel merry this Christmas and I don't feel like celebrating all the rest of the holiday season at all. So this vlog comforted me a lot and it affirmed my heart that indeed I don't need to pretend if I'm still in the process of pain and grieving. Eto yung masasabi kong si Hesus lang talaga sapat na. After all, He is the reason for Christmas. His birth SAVES....including people like me who is hurting and grieving this season. 🥹 God bless your heart and a warm big hug po! ❤️🩹
May you have a meaningful one. Very nice reminder.
My father died december 25 and it was so unexpected I regret that I did not spend that much time with papa I could have gave him more love when he is still alive death of a father is painful and no amount of words can heal you with Gods grace I was able to overcome the pain Thank you Jesus for your forgiveness grace and strength Papa I love you so much I wish I could have spend more time with you you are forever alive and always in my heart I miss you so much 😭😭😭
i also experienced that kind of dream na pag akyat ko sa room "oh bakit ka nandito, and he replied its ok gusto ko lang naman malala ako ng lahat kaya nung nasa ospital ako ang daming nagmessage sakin at natuwa ako kasi naalala nia ako.... i just cried and hug him tight saying kung alam mo lang kung gano kita sobrang namimis sorry"
Thank you so much Ms Rica for this very touching and so much learnings on this episode of yours. God bless more your family and may other watchers find your vlog really educating and inspiring.
Blessed Christmas, healing and abundance to all of us ❤
Good Evening Ms. Rica Peralejo thanks din Merry Christmas 🥰
Watching here Mam Rica. Merry Christmas 🎄💗
Your contents have been so helpful to us most specially when it's about grieving. My father passed away a year ago but the pain is still there. I don't want to forget his voice and laugh as well. Kasi pag nangyari yun, feeling ko mkakalimutan ko na si Papa. I don't want that to ever happen 😢 thank you Ms. Rica at sa mga guests mo na willing mag share ng grieving process nila. May you and the Bonifacio family have a Meaningful Christmas! God bless po! Always watching your vlogs ❤️ keep on inspiring us!
huhuhu. thank you for this ms rica. 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
Your spiel in the end 😭❤
After my father passed away in 2018 I don't celebrate Christmas anymore coz it brings sadness for me coz all I think about is my dad.
"Hindi mo naman pala kailangang Merry Christmas, okay na yung may Christmas". What comforting words 🥺 And just to share, my brother died on December 26, 2018, at 1:09 PM, yes it will be his 5th death anniversary tomorrow but it feels like his death was only yesterday 😭 The pain is still here but it's Christmas, and I should celebrate, so I am setting aside all my emotions, trying to be happy, greeting people, giving gifts, etc, but deep inside of me, I am not okay. 😭 I miss my brother so much. 😭
Dec 31 2020 we lost our dear Tita Estila.
Dec 27 2022 we lost our grandma, my great Nanay Lumen.
Christmas will never be the same.
So happy to finally meet you in person, Rica.
Sending light and love to everyone. 💙🩵🤍🙏
My mom passed away few weeks ago. It's really hard, our first Christmas without our loving Mom❤😢
Ang hirap talaga mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. My sis who was so close to our dad just told me 3 yrs bago siya naging okay talaga😢 grabe ang pain. My other sis told me (the time nawala si papa) "sana 10 yrs na ang dumaan, kasi ang sakit sakit😢" that was our major heartbreak. 😢
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❤🩹❤💛💚💝💖💙💓💗💜💕❣
Comment section...magkano bigay sayo youtube vlog ..
HAPPY HOLIDAYS PO. MS. RICA!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫰🫰🫰🫰🫰🫰