Cultivating Poise
Vložit
- čas přidán 23. 08. 2014
- Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic goo.gl/mz3dFb
At Home With Madame Chic goo.gl/GNIMxq
Lessons from Madame Chic goo.gl/YSm3FR
Author website: www.jenniferlscott.com
Facebook / jenniferlscottauthor
Twitter: / jl_scott
Instagram: / dailyconnoisseur
Blog: www.dailyconnoisseur.com
My TEDx talk on the TEN-ITEM WARDROBE: • The ten-item wardrobe ...
Today we are talking about POISE. Poise is free. It's something that anyone can have, yet so many people today lack it. Join the discussion and let me know what you think. On social media use the hashtag #MADAMECHIC
Royalty Free Music by
audiomicro.com/royalty-free-music - Jak na to + styl
There are so many other "elegance" channels where the content is good but the women themselves don't actually embody true elegance with authenticity. You're great - thanks!
This video reminded me of my sister. She is a classy, smart beautiful young lady who always seems to keep her cool. Yesterday she told the story of a woman pushing my nephew and how she handled it. She ended by saying she felt so much anger she could have gotten physical but she chose to have class and end the confrontation without resorting to sinking to the lady's level. I am so proud of her. She stuck up for my nephew and didn't use violence or curse words. I believe women with poise get taken more seriously.
Brandi Holcomb What a great story. Thank you!
I am becoming friends with a woman who has great poise. She is sweet always in control. We walk into a store and I watch how the sales people react towards her, they treat her with respect and are always very polite to her. I need this poise thing to rub off on me, lol. Great video!
I was one of those young ladies who had a terrible potty mouth; however, I was very careful who I allowed to witness this side of myself. One day I really lost my cool, threw caution to the wind and went on a cussing tirade in front of someone who I never wanted to see this side of me! Afterwards, I replayed this entire scene back over and over again in my head, and I've got to tell you that I felt so ashamed of myself because for the first time, I really saw myself for what I was: a foul mouthed young girl who just looked like the biggest idiot on the planet! Something flipped inside me that day and I knew I really needed to transform myself away from that type of character. So I sincerely started working on myself to get rid of anything out of my life that made me look and feel low class. That's been many years ago now. I'm proud of myself for catching it before I spent a lifetime cultivating that behavior. 😁
I learn poise from my Grandmother - she is without a doubt the most classy person I have ever met :)
I know this is a very old video, but it is such an important issue for me. I lost my temper with my daughter today.and I must practise poise, every day. This morning I failed, but this afternoon I will try again..until it becomes my norm.
That is the 1st step, very good!
I come from a background where there were no men. The women were tough and masculine. They did not regard the strength in beauty, poise, gentleness and elegance. Being brash and tough was good and powerful. It’s an old story, really. I am like this still in many ways and I would regard women who were ladies as people with privilege, someone I could not be because I lacked X. I am glad you mentioned in your introduction that it does not matter where we come from, we can cultivate a different self if we strive for it. I always believed caring for those things (poise, appearance, et) was shallow and useless. Now that I am older I’ve come to appreciate that we live in a society which prizes and rewards beauty and outward appearance. It values these things, and therefore so must I. Thank you for these videos and discussions, they exemplify a different way to be.
I think poise is something that has been forgotten in our modern society. We're often told to be ourselves, to do, say, wear, whatever we want. I agree with this to an extent, but I think a lot of times poise gets lost in the struggle to assert ones personality. For instance I recently heard someone complaining about the fact that she was told not to use profanity- because she is a lady. This person went on to say, "I'm not a lady, I'm a young women and I can say whatever I want!" While yes it's true, you have a right to your opinion, and your choice of vocabulary (however dreadful, and vulgar it might be!), but learn to cultivate some class, some poise, it's just good manners! Of course poise involves a lot more than speech, but it sure is a great place to start! Jennifer I love that you discuss topics like this, and in such a graceful manner! By no means should we be trying to attain perfection, we should however keep our standards high, and encourage others to do the same (as you do). I seem to have written a bit of a novella, but to sum it up: Great video! :)
Very nice topic! So many times people have mistaken my manners as a weakness, or some other deficiency but I never let up on having good mannerisms.
Wow I love the introduction.
Poise is something that every single person can have ! 👏
You are awesome! The people around me are always encouraging me to "get mean" when confronted with a rude person. Your approach suits me well. No one gives a "look" anymore! Love it!! You are very refreshing to the ears lol. Wish there were more of you out there. I loved that story and I am 100% interested in hearing you speak more on the subject of poise
Can't believe this. I happened to be here watching your video about poise. You are the Jennifer who wrote the book MadamChic that I once bought it in Kindle. The author who once studied in France. Nice to see you here.
Love this discussion so much. Poise is power; it shows respect for yourself and everyone around you. Be the example. :)
Jo 😭😮
I listen to this video over and over . Why ? So I can keep reminding myself that poise matters in my life . I'm so grateful that I found your channel .💝💝💝💝👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I really appreciate your videos. You are a lovely example of poise. I love that you gave her the look. I've had to do it when someone was doing the same around my children. Thank you for encouraging us to live a beautiful, graceful life!
A beautiful and timely video. I've been working on teaching my daughter to be as "modest" with her thoughts and opinions as she is with her dress. She'll be watching this with me soon!
I really like that you framed it in terms of how we carry ourselves around our family within the home. Would love more videos on how to live this out.
It all boils down to respect and morals towards oneself.
I lose my poise sometimes unfortunatly, but luckily I watched this video! This is great stuff, it will remind me of what is important, because I am always trying to get better.
The topic of poise could not have come at a more perfect time for me. Thank you for being so in tune. 🌸
Oddly enough when I think of poise, I think of my 3 yo son, sitting down in his high chair, ready to eat his meal. His spine gently curved where it is supposed to, his hands clumsily yet deftly hold his fork, and his whole being is absorbed in what he is doing with a quiet confidence and ease.
I think true poise comes from being comfortable in one's self, that gentle, quiet confidence and ease that we all have since we were young but somehow slowly gone through life's conditioning. To reach that place is a journey -- it's more about cultivating an authentic self.
Thanks for this video! Poise is something I appreciate so much in everyone who possesses it. When I meet someone who carries themselves this way, it is an encouragement and reminder of the best that we can be. I just wish it were more common!
Huge important message! Being poised with our family!
Hello. I read, "Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic" recently. I happened to stumble on this video today, and didn't know you are the author. Thank you for speaking to this topic. You'll always have an admirer in me.
I love that you lifted your sunglasses. Lol. TeriGigi's comment reminded me of when I was in high school and my friend's family hosted 2 French girls. It was winter (down here in San Diego.. lol) and we took them to Starbucks one evening for coffee. We all got our coffee and my friend and I were discussing if we should drive somewhere and they looked at us like "with the coffee??" and wanted to sit down instead outside. We were thinking it's 60 degrees outside, why are we sitting out here with our coffee... Lol. It's taken my over a decade and a half to figure out the purpose of that but at least i have. Ha. As for poise, it's something I practice and as far as posture, I've been called stiff and I can't figure out if there's a way to have nice posture without looking stiff to the people who are slumped over. I'd never call myself stiff but if that's how it looks to them... I don't know.
The most elegant and beautiful woman I have ever known told me as a child that money maketh not the lady. So true and although I have been blessed never to have wanted for anything I have always maintained that belief.
I was told I lack this so, here I am. I believe that I have self-confidence but it seems I show it otherwise. Thank you.
This is a great topic. I especially appreciate that you affirm that anyone can develop poise. In my own case, in my past I felt I was perhaps too controlled, then learned to be more direct, and in more recent years I feel I became at times too unguarded in my approach, perhaps in an effort to be more honest. Now I am learning to get my poise back, learning that it is often better to say nothing than to engage in fruitless discussions. Your example of using your expression and eye contact is so powerful. Thanks for another inspiring post!
Jennifer, as the mother of three daughters this may be my favorite video yet, as the last 21 years of my life have been devoted to, among many other things, developing poise in my girls! And may I be the first to say, our American culture is not supportive in this endeavor.
It is so very true that poise can be cultivated by absolutely anyone regardless of economic status or background. When poise is developed, it can truly be a great equalizer in society to help anyone reach their goals. Ultimately, we're talking about developing habits of quality and excellence.
Conversely, another hugely important aspect of poise is what we do NOT do. Not taking the easy/lazy way out. Not letting it just all hang out. Not sinking down to someone else's level when we would really love to just "go there". Not leaving the mess we just made. Not cursing or using slang. Not slumping or chewing gum in public. Not watching that vulgar movie. But instead, having standards that require us to put our best foot forward~ even when we don't feel like it.
The skill of poise takes effort, but it is certainly a skill worth developing. Thank you for your insight on this incredibly important subject!
I love your video! i'm feeling so grateful found your content here. i'm 28 now but i'm just starting to learn about being elegant. Thank you
I am so impressed to hear the start of a discussion on this--I enjoy seeing the foundation that bolsters your books and blog--and lifestyle :)
Great to hear that we need to practice it daily--maintain it--have passion. I love how they can both exist together. Thank you for the examples and inspiration.
We often need to hear of the options--to know we don't have to act in a brusque way.
"Cultivating"--what a great word.
I will have to think on how I act (and keep poise in mind)...
New subscriber...but I read your book a while ago and loved it so much. I've slowly been going through all of your videos. So enlightening. Every time I go to Paris, I change a little. I love having your videos to keep me on track living the French life style even in the good ole USA. I am planning my capsule wardrobe, bringing my one pitiful orchid back to life, and teaching myself the Le no makeup look. We had a French exchange student in our home a few years ago, and one of the most intriguing things was NO SNACKING...not even once. She didn't even eat popcorn when we took her to the movie!!! We felt like pigs around her! haha
Thanks for all the tips...TeriGigi
P.S. I leave for Paris on Saturday :)
I love the story about your exchange student... priceless! Have a marvelous trip to Paris :)
I've been to Paris a lot lately, and as far as I can tell, there is no super-sizing going on...although they do have Starbucks now :( Sometimes I hate seeing things being Americanized...I mean I love the USA, but I want other places to stay as they've always been!
@@TeriGigi Paris is becoming worst and worst lately, it is such a pitty. If you can, hang around Arrondissements 1 to 8, as well as 16 and 17. The western part of Paris and its region are the most poised. Instead, the northern, eastern and even southern parts and regions can be truly dangerous nowadays.
I just happened to discoverer your Chanel. Thank you for your pure intention & poise. I love learning from you.
Thank you
Thank you for this video! I've been thinking a lot on this topic lately - trying to stay poised was one of my goals this year.
You were right to call out your neighbor with a look - especially after I finished reading "mean girls grown up" by Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D. One of the central take aways from her book is that aggressive, inappropriate behavior tends to continue if the community allows it.
Interestingly her last chapter has a list of how to to deal with/prevent inappropriate behavior in yourself and others that reads a lot like a description of poise.
I love you videos and can't wait for your next book!
im glad you mention that it is a practice, because I feel the guilt when I am slipping into my bad behaviors; it's all just practice and progress is not linear. thank you for this message its very cool
I am already on this journey and I am glad I found your channel!
Thank you Jennfer for the inspiration. For all that you do. The books,blog and CZcams. We need more inspiring women like you. You have influenced me to try to live better. Celebrate life and embrace the mundane with grace and style. Keep up the good work. Love, C from Abu Dhabi
Wow, so true. As a society today we have gotten so far away from social Grace! Even within my own family it has taken a very wrong turn!
I loved this video.I associate poise with being present in the moment, realising that all your thoughts and actions impact on others .I have gained a lot of inner poise from doing yoga of a kind which focuses on mindfulness .I'm going to Paris in 2 weeks Yay!
Always love your videos , they make me smile and sit up straight . The French Fan xx
Thank you Rebecca!
Thanks for your advice, love you for teaching us with love💕💕
Awe...I love this, I know people like this. In fact, I used to be like this. But over the years I realized I don't have to be this is great encouragement, thank you.
I couldn't help laughing when you told how you gave that girl "the look"! LOL I'm always trying to cultivate poise in my life, but I always wonder how can I deal with rude people (especially when they're being mean to me) without being like them and without having them thinking they won. I struggle with mantaining that kind of balance: firmly responding to verbal aggresion or deliberately ignoring them?
Well, I guess I'll try giving them "the look" hahaha. Thanks so much for your videos!
I love every vídeo you make!!!!! Cultivating poise from Costa Rica!
Thank you. You are so right. "You dont have to be that way, no matter how you grew up". I wish I would have figured that out earlier in life.
Great video! You are so right. Thank you for sharing.
Fabulous and encouraging!
Hi, can you tell me how to make a strength build for me?
Been having a little trouble, and I never have enough poise!
I really like this video. I wish I could have more of this conversation with you.
I got poise from wolf's ring and full havel.
I love this thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing this! It is so needed these days with the current emphasis on crude behavior being elevated in the media! Bravo!
looking forward to your future vlogs on this subject
Oh boy...you had to go there. I'm glad. I need this reminder.
I love all your vlogs!
I LOVE your videos! I'm 26yrs old, and people always say I'm old fashioned (which I love).... I love watching movies like Persuasion, Jane Eyre, and other BBC Masterpiece Theater Films because I love the way the women were very ladylike in those days....very feminine. My wardrobe right now is very lazy, as if I don't care but I have been wanting to change that for awhile. And now I've come across your channel. Thank you for your inspiring videos to help me be the best ME!
LadyBug3314 I could have written this comment...especially the lazy wardrobe portion. The thing is i am a business professional. I definitely need to step my game up.
Thank you for your video, such a good topic. I really do not think it was inappropriate that you made the girl aware of her behavior. I was raised to never curse or argue in public, but there was a time when I became angry and started to curse like a sailor while driving and while around others. Some of the people in my life commented out of love and concern. It had become so casual for me that I did not even realize how bad it was until it was commented on and I was shocked and embarrassed. Now it is not a part of my life, but it took a while to stop.
Stress, anger, and frustration can sometimes overtake us and bad habits form. I really think that it is the spirit in which you do something. Caring is not letting someone be destructive, rude, and angry without making them aware. It really can affect you life negatively if you act that way; at work, the friends you attract, and the types of significant others you get involved with.
I love your videos and thank you for your inspiring messages! I would love for you to know that you have truly inspired an 18 year old lady to be the best that I can be! And I would love to know where you got your necklace- it is so cute!
Posture is difficult for me after nursing a baby (#5) for two years. It's something I will have to physically work hard to correct.
Thanks for this video!
hello! Do you follow the 10 item wardrobe with your children's clothes as well? I know they notice how I dress and I want to make sure that they begin feeling confident in themselves and learning the things that took me so long to learn. I have two boys. Any advice? Thanks!
Thank you soooooooo much for this video & all of your videos for that matter! You are what I strive to be :)
As tempting as it is to admonish rude people, you must be very careful. Doing so can lead to very unfortunate consequences like fights or worse. If I, as a man gave the same look to another man that was talking loudly, I could easily get into a fight or worse. Sometimes forgiveness is the only way.
Jennifer! Your blush is just fab. Mind sharing the brand and color? Much thanks lovely lady :)
My opinion: if others can clearly see that one is wearing blush it isn't "fab". It's overkill!
wow, great video!
Wonderful topic
Thank you for sharing. It’s so rare to find a video to teach us about class here. There are more video about how to contour or twerk.
Isn’t it interesting to note that even people who are swearing (like your neighbor), recognize their bad behavior when “called out”, as you did? Your neighbor’s reaction by giving a flippant apology seems to confirm this; she was probably embarrassed! Bravo to you for making a statement in such a classy way. Maybe later she reflected on her bad manners and will strive to improve. We can only hope.
#madamechic Poise cannot be crafted. It is an internal state of being. A state of being aligned with the beauty and reverence of 'who you really are'. When attempting to craft poise, it becomes Ego. But real Poise is a state of Allowing, Presence, and Self Dignity.
❤️ this!
Very nice thank you. :)
What a lovely video! I can see what you mean about "poise". I must add that poise can only truly be cultivated with the principles of respect of persons, value for life and it's beauty and dare I say love for what is good. It requires a standard that is perfect but impossible to achieve. And with that you must be okay with inevitable failure-- which takes humility. Love the discussion! I look forward to catching up with your other videos!
I, too, have been thinking more about poise. I envision myself as a kind, poised, classy lady as I continue to age. I do not love the casual, disrespectful turn our society has taken. My husband and I went out to a very nice restaurant last night and it took me back seeing everyone in such casual clothing, such as shorts and beach sandals while the staff maintained the 5 star service. It just didn't match, it wasn't appropriate.
I understand, but I learned not to judge others and enjoy my time out with my husband. Don't notice the negative, just see the good qualities of others.
I admire the classy shade that was thrown in this video .
Hello! What podcast would you recommend on spotify?
One thought I have is how peaceful it is to be around poised persons, quite often I am astounded by the actions of people out in public. I often wonder “ what would my grandmother-who epitomized poise- think?
I know a woman like this. We have mutual friends. One time she started speaking badly about someone I was talking after he left. I let her know that wasn’t my impression of him, and I she should’ve shared her thoughts while he was present. That didn’t go over well especially since she had one too many drinks by then. Well there was talk about us not getting along and and what may happen at our next interaction. So when my friends I ran into her again she had been drinking and I didn’t want a confrontation so I didn’t acknowledge her. There was enough people for me to be talking to someone else and the interaction didn’t last long at all. We were coming while they were going type thing. Well I did avoid confrontation but it just seem to add fuel to the fire. So of course the next time my friend and I saw her she went to ignore me. Well thankfully she had not been drinking so I decide to engage in conversation with genuine complaint and she was a completely different person. My friend complimented me on how I handled the situation and added, Now you see why I like her? I could see why I love my friend and a nicer side to her friend which will make it easier for my friends.
This may be an odd comment, but I realy appreciate your vocabulary.
i think we all have felt like her before. frustrated, insulted, vengeful...hurting. my heart feels that she is beckoning. the damsel in distress. making eye contact i think could have started an argument. it was refreshing that she felt remorseful. i feel she needed more than a look. an interruption of that call. a hug. im assuming this woman was younger. if you see her again why not be bold and tell her what your heart feels for her. a long meaningful embrace. some women have never been loved by a woman or know the feeling. it is in so many words foreign to us. we try to find that frequency so we can move in unison. but we know it not. with every vibration of that love we feel we slowly memorize the beat in our hearts a heartbeat away when our hearts are weary of being beat that way only then can we surrender to the rhythm of who we are...I am...poised.
Where would you start in transforming yourself into an elegant and sophisticated woman? I remember thinking as a child that when I became a “woman” I would just know these things. Even as I left childhood behind and entered college, I assumed by the time I earned my degree I would become a “Lady”. Of course this vision of elegance never manifested because I did little to learn how to achieve it, always assuming I would one day get there naturally. As I turned 38 a couple of days ago, I reflected on my life and where I wanted to see myself by the time I’m 40. I’m grateful for my life thus far, the highs and the lows that have forced me to grow, but I still aspire to more. I became complacent in a small town and lost my desire to experience the world of elegance and refinement. I want to climb the social ladder, not for status, but for the chance to experience life. The life that allows one to explore the beauty of this world and the legacy of those who crafted it. By nature I’m a perfectionist and have a deep appreciation for the amount of work put into great craftsmanship. I think that is why I’m naturally drawn to more luxurious items and the life of those who can acquire them. Voicing these thoughts and feelings makes me feel materialistic and snobbish, but in truth I’m learning that it’s neither of those. Having a true appreciation for the beauty in this world is not something I should be ashamed of but grateful for the gift to see it.
Hello Jennifer, poise has almost disappeared from the English language I believe. Great topic! I know some people disagree that you gave that young woman a look, but I happen to think the opposite. I am of European heritage, and in Europe, people still exert a bit more pressure on others to maintain some decorum in public. I have noticed that in Canada, and I assume the U.S., a lot of people look the other way. I think this is maybe why things are sliding so far; because not enough of us have the courage to give a simple look. I had done my fair share of them, and I think even such a small gesture, which will not psychologically disturb anyone, can make them pause and think.
i am confused with meaning of poise.. does it mean temperament ? or one's stability of mind? please help me THE DAILY CONNOISSUR
I can't stop looking at your eyes, so pretty!
Im a very anxious person. I wanted a heavy barbell back squat at the gym and worked on it 3-4 times a week. I noticed as I was putting more weight on the bar, interactions that would have got to me and I would have stewed on for days I was like "Ur reaction to this is Ur problem, I'm happy with my part in the interaction." If I wasn't happy my reaction I would think about what I could do different and that was that. Also I thought my body would have got stiff as putting on muscle. The opposite I moved a lot better, putting things in and out the car got I easier, running for the bus effortless. I wear a backpack with a lot of stuff amd I found taking it on and off got a lot easier. I just felt more calmer moving around the world and confident interacting with people. PS leading cause going into retirement home is lose of muscle mass so it's insurance for the future, muscle is an enduring tissue meaning it contributes to regulating hormones.
Only place u got muscle was my thighs. Torso and shoulders got a light layer of muscle. I watched some power lifting girls and they lift huge amounts of weight and aren't particularly muscley which was a relief tool me, if do stretching and mobility work u don't end up with a rigid body. You can eat what u want as well!!
I think you summed poise up with "the look" at the young lady. Poise is caring enough about another person, even if you don't know them, to try to let them know that what they are doing is not acceptable.
Wonderful as always! What lip color are you wearing in this video? xxS
When I think of lack of poise, I wasn't thinking about the obnoxious, loud person. I was thinking about the shy, insecure type of person with no confidence. Did you ever see the movie, The Heiress (Olivia de Havilland)? That's the kind of person I feel needs help with poise. What kind of advice would you recommend for them?
But how do I integrate it into my build?
Mine was straight up Attacked today as a test to c where my level of poise actually is! Wow
I am not sure (as you say) if I have a right to flash people "that look" which I do as well. When I am in a store, or walking past a group of HS kids in my neighborhood, if they have made course comments or used foul language (especially when my children were little). I have done "the look". I find that behavior to be such a complete lack of respect, never mind for me...but not respecting the innocence of my little ones! "The Look" was not necessarily in judgement, but more like "really?" don't people know, that not everyone needs to be privy to them letting it all hang out? I believe it is not that they do not know better..but we are ALL being exposed to this harshness all the time, more and more in the media....where the masses are being desensitized to the brashness! Great topic Jennifer!
I need to practice - I slip. A lot. But as you say, it is worth cultivating.
Are poise and elegance the same thing?
I think that poise is a bi-product of a good upbringing and strong moral values in a person. I don't think it can be cultivated on its own, it depends on other qualities as well.
Mary Prive I agree that, despite your upbringing, you can develop poise. Although it may be easier for someone with certain qualities to develop poise, that doesn't mean it's impossible for others, with different qualities, to develop it as well. By the way, congratulations on making the change in diet!
Just tell me where to find Havel's set, lady.
You find it behind the fireplace in anor londo
could you please give us the definition of poise?? TY
My inspiration is my sister. Poise personified.
FromSoft, pls.
*POISE*
I agree with you about people who have potty mouths. It is so unbecoming.
When my daughter was walking into the airport with me, and going through the glass circular doors we overheard this beautiful well dressed women, on her phone . She must of used the f word six times in the short time that we were in her presence . Well, I used this woman as an example for my daughter who would be leaving in an hour to return to her college. I said to my daughter, did you see how beautiful that woman was and how ugly she became in seconds because of the way she was talking? I said, please always remember how you present yourself to the world with your body language and how you speak and talk to others. I’m proud of how poised my daughter is and how kind she is to all walks of life, rich or poor. I’m proud to call her my daughter and feel very blessed with both my children and very proud of my son also, both are good kind human beings.
Yes poise can be cultivate.
This woman is absolutely intelligent