it was never about my body
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- čas přidán 5. 05. 2022
- The way that I view my body and the beliefs that I have surrounding it have changed throughout my recovery. It's been a long hard process, but this piece articulates how I have been slowly moving away from hate and control toward appreciation and trust. I also want to reiterate that EDs don't have a "look"; there were peaks and valleys of my ED over the years and my size over time wasn't indicative of how much I was struggling. It's not a physical illness, it is a mental illness, and this video aims to demonstrate the evolution of my mentality around my body, not the way my body looks. Regardless of an ED, our bodies will change throughout life and what matters isn't how they look, but the life they allow us to live.
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Oh, Allie, I should listen to this every day. I tell myself I'm not hungry when I am, that I am not hurting when I am, that I am not crying when I am. I ask myself when will this be over, when will I stop punishing my body, when will I stop hating my body. Because the answer always seems to be never. 🦋
Meant to be lived in and not looked at. Wow what a beautiful line.
Oh my word…..I am going to do this……thank you so much. I am so much older than you and have struggled with ED behaviors my entire adult life which unfortunately took me off the trails…… but we do live in our bodies and not on the trails. We live in our bodies and we need to truly care for it and loooooove it and appreciate it. The part about your body keeping you alive in the space of illness -wow-i feel like that’s the internal maternal signal we all have. Like a mother guarding her child. God Bless You !!
This was so beautifully written. Crying over these words. So impactful. This needs to be shared with all young runners both male and female. ❤️
You were made to be lived in, not looked at.
Wow. So Powerful. That hits.
Allie, I appreciate you so much for opening up about this. I’ve been injured for a year because of my eating disorder, for the second time.. everytime I’m healthy again I put myself in the same deficit and cycle. It’s hard because no matter how much I look or weight that voice in my head is always telling me I’m not good enough. Seeing you talk about how your body allows you to do all the things you love really hit me in the feels because for so long I had to walk or deal with pain. Thank you for making me feel less alone.
Yes. I learned over the years that my body would never be good enough, so I had to separate my worth from appearance. It’s hard but so worth it ❤️
Allie, I'm a 71yo man who ran track in high school and have enjoyed watching your(and others) progress over the years. I always attributed your success to the hard work I know it takes to do well in a sport that is just mind over pain. It takes pain to get better. When this video popped up in my feed I thought I'd be getting another running video, instead I got a heartfelt well written intro into Allie the person, not the sports star. Thanks for that, I hope youngsters all over can see this and learn to accept themselves for how they are, and adults can see that there is no single mould to shovel all people into. Take care of yourself!
This is certainly something I’ve struggled with all my life. The endless negative self talk of not being enough. It’s been a battle to reverse that and promote positivity from within. What’s going right? What are you thankful for? What are proud of? What actually matters and what is an appropriate reaction? Thank you for the reminder, that I will tell myself I love my body, I love what it CAN do, and to not hate it for what it can’t.
“You were made to be lived in…” what a wonderful way to put it. I’ve been struggling with a this stuff and your story has been so incredibly inspiring and helpful!
My body is not meant to be looked but to be lived in. That hits so much
Thank you for your candor and sincerity!
Thank you for sharing Allie!
so glad you shared this on ur yt, beautiful piece
That was beautiful. Keep on winning Allie O!
this is absolutely beautiful. I am so happy that you are in this place with yourself!
Wow! Beautifully articulated and I thank you for your honesty and clarity.
This made me cry. Thank you Allie! You are amazing :)
this was so inspiring! honestly, i just saw myself in that, so much! you are so brave!
This is such a powerful and impactful piece Allie! Thank you for sharing. Happy tears : ' )
So honest and really an inspiration to be vulnerable to so many people to become stronger than ever! 🤘🏼
I have always admired your humility, Allie. Always a fan. Thank you.
Such a powerful message. Thank you for being you♥️
Amazing! Thank you for writing and sharing and helping others know they’re not alone, because this needs to be talked about. You’re an amazing role model. 😊
Another AMAZING video. Thank you Allie.
Wow!! It's soo beautiful Allie. I got emotional watching this video. More power to you
❤️ you are amazing Allie! That was beautiful
Just reading it in front of the camera would've been powerful, but editing in those clips of you through the years listening to you read it was impactful and mesmerizing. You're the best Allie!!!
So grateful for you. Been getting more intentional about finding recovery since watching your videos. It's so hard. Appreciate you sharing how the thoughts can be different. Thanks - means a lot. So proud of you.
Why to go Allie! I will share this my track team. Super glad your a runner.
I love this Allie! Every time I do core I think about how it should be strong even if it doesn’t show. You come to mind when I think about that!
Grace, grace and lots more grace.
It’s encouraging to see you dwelling in the same compassion, reason, courage and strength you no doubt offered to others throughout the years.
Your humility and strength is something to aspire to. Wishing you continued success and happiness!
You are awesome to share this! You are a good runner…..no conditions to that and no speed/racing expectations either. A good runner because you want to be a healthy and happy runner. ❤️
And what a life you’re going to live! So excited for your future ☺️ When I got better all the colours came back, and that’s worth the anxiety that recovery brings with it. Push through that and you’ll be glad you did
This was very powerful to hear. Especially after having had a few drinks tonight. Thank you Allie, you mean a lot to me.
So proud of you. Thank you for sharing this with the world 💚
This is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. It’s so important for those still struggling with eating issues.
Thankyou for your bravery. It’s hard to share the deepest part of your mind and what went on.
Thank you
Much love from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you for sharing 💙 And thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your personality is infectious
Thank you for your words. Sending my prayers for you to continue to heal. (Forever cheering you on!) You've given us such precious, profound counsel. Again, thank you.
Truly Amazing to witness your transformation! Wishing you nothing but the Best! 👍
Wow that was so beautifully expressed. I am going to continue to listen to this over and over until I can say the same thing about my body and my brain. Thanks Allie. I missed this in May when you posted this. Thanks.
Allie thank you so much for sharing! Your words were beautiful and rang very true to me. I appreciate your vulnerability and for being an inspiration to many💕
Beautiful article Allie... Such a great mind-set. Love your own body as it enables you to do the things you love.... :)
You are so very special. Thanks for sharing your journey. You are helping so many others. God bless. J
Beautifully written and narrated, Allie! Thank you for bringing your voice, experience, and passion to a space where those things are often suppressed for results and appearances. I will be sharing this with the young athletes that I work with in the hopes that they can begin reinforcing the "I love my body" mindset within themselves.
We are so proud of you Allie. We are also proud of you sharing your story, even if this just helps one young runner who is struggling it will make such a difference.
Wow. I had read your article but hearing you read it with those videos running is so much more powerful. I have no doubt you will succeed in whatever you do in the future.
Incredible.. so moved and grateful for seeing this. You do English very well Allie. So beautifully written and expressed. Thank you.
Thank you Allie! I am so grateful to you for putting this into words. I too had the same situation. My entire life people have commented about my petite size. It first happened in dance, and then Tae Kwon Do and running. Because that is what people commented on, I thought that was all that made me special as well as successful. I am so happy for you that you have had this growth in your 20s and it didn’t take until your 50s like it did for me. I admire you. Thank you so much for your shining example!
Thank you so much for this Allie. As a distance runner who has suffered from an ED and is learning how to love their body and to trust that fueling it will help performance AND happiness in the long run, this is so motivating to hear.
Well done and smartly reflective. I wish you the best going forward.
Allie, thanks for sharing these touching and beautiful words ❤
WOW! Allie you are an incredible person and I am so inspired by you and your story! I am so happy for you that you have gotten this far with your running and your recovery its amazing and I couldn't be more proud of you! I have struggled with my own eating disorder for two decades and I still have bad days but your story inspires me to keep going! Even though I can no longer run, I can do crossfit and I am super stoked about that!
Spoken from the heart. You have not taken your gift for granted and have done so much with your gift. You are a giant with so much to give, but you owe nothing. Thank you Allie.
Thank you so much for these words Allie.
Allie that was a fantastic piece of writing and beautifully read if you don’t mind me saying. I really hope you have found peace with yourself and you are a great runner
So glad you're back. You've been an inspiration and motivation for my recovery back to running after two hip replacements. I had to learn to eat healthy (WFPB). I did my first 50k trail.
You are an inspiration to me, for how hard you worked to be able to run with the best, and to recognize that you have problem and the want to get better, a lot of people probably would have quit, I knew there was a reason I was drawn to your channel that's because you have character, and your never quit but get better attitude, ill allways watch your channel and you will always be the friend who I have never meet, remember legends are made for the life your living know till the accomplishment you will have later down your life, just promise me you will never stop interacting with us through your channel.
Wow! This blew me away. Truly well said ❤ It's how we are both soul/ consciousness and physically body intertwined. Our bodies allow us to experience life. Love watching you run, a shared passion. Running makes us feel truly ALIVE and present.
This is amazing Allie.
Allie, you have been one of my idols since I started my running journey in high school. I used to have the perception that runners like you were infallible. After listening to your raw expression of this most vulnerable relationship (i.e. the relationship you have with your own body), I am left with the utmost admiration for you shedding light on the reality that is being a perfectionist and an elite athlete in the public eye. I'm sure it takes a great level of fortitude and humility to be so genuine about this kind of battle as an athlete of your caliber. You are so incredibly strong and you are doing a truly incredible thing for not only yourself but also for all the people you reach with this platform. Recently, I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease and I have been afraid for so long that I'll never be the runner I once was. You have given me hope and strength, and through your resilience, you have reminded me of my own. I did my first real run in months last week and you are one of my biggest inspirations. I felt like myself for the first time in what feels like an eternity. Thank you for being you. You're an absolutely beautiful soul.
SO important Allie. Because there is RIGHT now multiple athletes watching this video and reading these very words who are in the deepest depths of their eating disorder abyss, in denial or hopelessly adrift and untethered, feeling like they are drowning and alone with no hope of rescue while their body slowly breaks down. some of them are successful champions who think they cant possibly let up or they will be overtaken. some are anonymous cogs deep down their cross country line up who dont think they deserve to worry about the risks of starving themselves because theyre not fast enough to matter. they all deserve your life line and your perspective and I thank you for giving it despite the pain of doing so.
Awesome video Allie. Extremely well written and something that the running community needs more of
I needed this , I’m crying to for all the elite runners who hear be thin be small at any health cost to you the runner.All for a win and when you are broken and can no longer win they throw you away like trash.( next ).its abuse abuse from coaches , Pt.trainers ,spectators who want a win at all cost.Yes !Allie preach it to all love your body.Thank you for sharing.
Allie, that was beautifully written. You have matured with wisdom. .🙏👍🥰 One of the best I've seen. Well done!!
Thank you 🥰🥰
Thank you for writing this. I'm so happy you've reached this place, it's a tough battle to get here.
This was a lovely expression of very personal feelings. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Wise words, Allie. A beautiful sentiment delivered with strength.
Such a soulful report/story
Thank you for allowing me to hear your wonderful words
It is much appreciated
You should be so proud! Thanks for letting us be here 😊
Allie I admire your courage ❤️
Beautiful. I wish I could say I love my body. Sincerely. How powerful it is just to say that much. What a wonderfully brilliant article.
Thank you so much for this, beautiful words that resonate deeply. ❤️
Have sooooo much respect for you Allie.
Wow! I cannot begin to image how many young women will benefit from your story. I wish you the best in all you do
Thank you, Allie. I wish you could fully know the impact of your bravery, honesty and strength. You are finding meaning behind the pain you have endured and using it to create purpose to bring about positive change. Words cannot express my gratitude. Thank you for sharing your journey. Your voice and wisdom are powerful.
I appreciate this so much!
beautiful article, allie! as someone who’s experienced a femoral stress fracture due to hypothalamic amenorrhea (my eating disorder and overtraining were the culprits), your words are so so important. i’ll probably share it with my track team
I had the same stress fracture in the fall. So tough, but we will both get through it!
Beautiful. You and the article.
Beautiful, dear Allie!
Powerful Allie 👏👏🙏❤️
Absolutely Phenomenal!! ❤❤❤
Wow. I had no idea what you went through. I have no idea what that would have been like. But what I do know is that watching you run makes me smile. Your gracefulness, your fluidness, your love of running. It inspires me.
Thank you for the kind words 🥺
This made me super emotional because I struggle with an eating disorder every day and my ultimate dream is to get to a point where I love and appreciate my body for what it has done for me. ❤️❤️❤️ thank you Allie for this super inspiring video 💕💕💕
Just keeping working! It takes a lot of time and effort, but you can get there!
I never understood what happened. Thank you I understand.
Keep believing in yourself!!!!
To see you running up Mt Marathon, all those gruelling cross country races and to the epic battles on the tracks your physical strengths shine. To hear you share your thoughts on difficult subjects clearly shows your inner strengths. They all make you an incredibly strong woman. Don't take advice from anyone unless they are the closest people you can trust. There are many people who think they have all the answers. They are mostly full of s***.
I'm proud of you and I just wanted to say that your vlogs is amazing and you are amazing Supporter I loved your channel always because you are amazing channel
you should definitely write articles for news papers. this was so beautiful
Thank you for this video! I am very familiar with young female distance runners and eating disorders. Attention from news reporters, coaches, college recruiters, other runners attention and parents add to the pressure to continue winning and winning mistakenly means ultra thinness. I'm sure every young athlete has her own unique story which lead to a full fledged eating disorder and each story deserves to be told. Several years ago I gave Runner's Magizine some negitive feedback after they mentioned the weight of an up and coming star high school girl distance runner in one of their articles. They followed up with what I thought was a very inadequate and short article on her eating habits. On a past comment on one of your videos I mentioned nutrition especially for young female runners. Your video touched on exactly what I had in mind. Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a very important message from a young lady who could have a positive impact on other young women.
Your speech is so beautiful. My son runs in college and I see you in him.
"Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me" - Jack Kerouac
Just discovered your channel. Whenever I would watch races, I would cheer on this or that favorite runner of mine. But when YOU were in the race, Allie, it over-rode everything and I would root for you. Just on the adorability factor, lol!
Thanks for those words. I've seen many men and women suffer EDs in sports for many years.
It was a great article!
Made my cry ❤️
What do you mean you 'don't even do English correctly'! This so well-written and touching. I really hope your message reach as many young athletes, not just runners, but those in other sports as well (gymnastic, figure skating etc., where girls are also told a lot to stay in a certain body shape to be successful).
Very powerful
So well said 💖
You are brave, girl, you won the race of your life, this worth for all races together, and more. I applaud you and send u my love and respect. You are doing good, for you, of course, and for lots and lots of others. Be proud, and always kind to yourself. Bravo.
Glad you are feeling better. Hope you will love your body enough to give it an occasional day off.
ALLIE!!!!! Bravo