met my wife at a mall, had a place and a car so offered her a ride home. was surprised when she said let's go somewhere private. long story short, married 10 years with 3 kids and still go somewhere 'private'
@@loumason6120wrong. You don’t fall in love in a week. Lol at least normal people don’t. Not saying all Filipina women are the same but this scenario is the girl is just looking for a meal ticket and trying to close the deal asap. Their dream goal is to marry a white foreigner.
@@loumason6120no a woman who’s first response is playing these types of games is a woman you run from… I’ve been in that type of relationship for years in the past and it’s mentally exhausting
Wow so if she doesn't get or hear what she wants,then there's the problem. It doesn't matter where you come from but where your intentions lay. It takes time to get to know each other, to build something solid. You just saved your self from confusion and heartache. Much peace 🕊️ love and light
Thanks for the video. I'm 3 years in on a relationship with my Filipina. Been to PH twice. She's older (45 school teacher) and I'm 60 now (arrg) - experienced a lot of what you have described. BUT I went with it. Felt so cared for, she is wonderful. Met the family, (even before I arrived via Chat). When I got there, fell in love and felt so welcomed by all her family and her colleagues. We get along so weIl- on the same page - mature. No judgement - Guess it comes down to what you want. I found my soul mate. Feel lucky.
When my friend met his wife for the first time her uncle immediately asked,” What are your intentions?” My wife and I met in the states, had only 6 dates and married. 35 years later we’re retired in the Philippines.
Ten years ago I met my Filipina angel she was and is so beautiful I fall in love everyday with her I am British and have now been living in the Philippines for the past two years she is my strength my life and her family have always been there for us never have they asked me for anything but obviously I have no problem in helping my health has improved given up smoking and drinking just loving the culture ❤
@@mjklein I hold the bank book ATM I just take care of my wife and child occasionally I'll buy something for the others but in honesty they don't need my money as their pretty successful themselves
Yeah my Filipina told me she loved me on day 4 of us talking LOL. I came an inch from ending our communication because of that...but I kept it in the back of my mind that she's from a completely different culture, situation, part of the world, and universe than I am. She's 31 but inexperienced. She never seemed to be after my money or trying to get anything from me but my attention, so instead of ending it I explained how westerners are and that if she wants me to love her back, she needs to wait a few months while we spend time together and get to know each other well. She was disappointed at first but she got used to the idea after a couple of days, and we went from there. Fast forward 14 months, I love her now too and she is honestly the most genuine, moral woman I've ever had the privilege to be with, her heart is so big. And she's fiercely loyal. Never seen this kind of faithfulness in any western woman ever. I return it for her. So yeah don't let the "immediate love" thing put you off. Now her reaction when you explain to her that its going to take time...that's another thing, it can be a red or a green flag.
I am a Filipino and my late husband (a foreigner) courted me for 2 years..been married for 24 years before he died..you have to know each other before having a relationship (compatability, hobbies, plans, family, etc. etc.).I got married at the age of 34, my first boyfriend and everything. Now I am happily married (my 2nd time) at the age of 70. My 2nd husband is also a foreigner. Married life is good simple and happy.
That’s nice, it’s good to have a partner. I had a snake, married for 22 years, she stole from me and cheated on me. She is from Russia. It was hell on earth, her and her mother in law made my life hell
That's not what this was. She is naive, and so are most Filipinos. But she wasn't trying to take from him. This was most likely a good girl. She just didn't know how to be with a foreigner. In the provinces, the girl's family has to save to send her to college. She most likely is a virgin because family stops paying for college once she takes on a man. I want a girl just like her. When it comes to foreigners, Filipinas have a Disney picture of romance. That's what this girl did. It is sweet. A wise man recognizes this and accepts the sweetness without leading her on. When she said she loved him, his response should have been, "That's so sweet" It gives no commitment but still affirms her. Then he can spend more time with her to see if she truly is a good girl. Most likely she is. Province girls are the best in the world. They are not filled with the feminist crap of the West.
Listen ya’ll - I live in PH, plenty of dating experience here. Just because a pure & inexperienced girl here becomes “IN LOVE” on the first date or shortly thereafter does not always mean she’s desperate for a foreigner or trying to get in your wallet. Some simply don’t have much experience with dating & relationships or handling their emotions and get just swept up into the first waves of infatuation hard, as any young heart could. Let’s hope you are a well intentioned gentleman who isn’t out to break innocent hearts - because yes, sometimes you can find them here. And when you do, take care of them or be honest and go on your way before hurting one of the rare good ones left
I've been here a while and had quick "I love you" stories as well. What some Filipinas have told me when I tell those stories is kinda of this. Not much experience and the kind of experience they do have is like US middle schoool or high school level relationships from what they described to me. There can also be limited options in their area depending on where they live. Also tgey can be quicker to say it to a foreigner because of various media they see where in a movie it's said so soon in a rom-com and they think that is what the foreigner expects. Single moms were also quicker on it as well, probably hoping for the upgrade. Some scammers too, though. Just go slow, don't fall for a love bomb even if the girl is genuine. While it's bad enough when it's from someone wantung to take advantage of you, it might be an actually emtionally inexperienced girl. They just might not understand the weight of those words to someone with experience and bad past relationships. And this doesn't just mean those of young age. I've met a good number of older but emtionally immature ladies. If they are not willing to slow down, the higher chance of scammer, of them being emtionally immuture or highly just desperate. And understand unless they have their own nice place, they are usually incredibly ready to move in with you. Living arrangements can be very fluid for most regular Filipinos so it's not really a sign of commitment on their part like it is in the West. No matter where you are in the world, or who you date, fall in love if you dare but always use your brain before your heart when making decisions in those early days of bliss. You don't truly know them or the family until time has passed and you've shared hardships/mishaps together.
I have lived out here for 35 years now. Married a Filipina 28 years ago. If you're new out here, do not fall into the trap of thinking you're on a different planet. You aren't. If any Filipina says she loves you within an hour of meeting you, be very careful. Use your brain. The fact is that many are looking for someone to support them financially and that alone is not grounds to walk into that situation. Do your due diligence and don't get caught out.
I had something like that happen here in the US. I was riding my bicycle through this park and passed this young mexican woman. She said that she loved me as I was riding past her. My thoughts on this was 'Uhm ,Ok?!?'
It's funny how you see all these successful stories in the comments. I have been to the Philippines quite a few times, and I am from southern California (san diego) where there are the most filipinos outside the Philippines than any part of the world and I have heard/seen many more horror stories than I have successful ones.
@emuhill I'm Argentinean, n if Mexicans r like us in that sense, which prob they r, is just like a funny way to say that she likes u, a lot 😅 she was diggin u bro. Too late, now u know for the next one haha 🤜🤛
I went to the Philippines a handful of years ago. The right looking pinoy woman is in the top five in the world I'm attracted to. I also got the VIP/ famous treatment. I loved it. A lot of them try to settle down in their young twenties due to the culture.
Pick the puppy that picks you. Means don't chase, just greet the ones you pass by and keep moving. Wait for one to follow you. The puppy that picked you.
@Ekam-Sat Haha, yes, very good indeed. I hope others have picked up on it, too. Dry humour like that is becoming rare as an honest politician! Let me know when you come up with another cracker 🎉😄
If a Filipina (especially in the province) invites you to her home to meet her family, then she probably has serious intentions for you. Do not accept her invite if you are not ready for "I love you" or talk about marriage. If you want more time to get to know her, then offer to meet her in a nearby city instead. Some may consider it an embarrassment to have a foreign man come visit the family without making any commitment.
The reality is that is not real life. The girl has fantastical thinking and are behind when it comes to being mature. After the honeymoon period, the new sex, real life sets in and real life bills, problems etc. This is why most relationships do not last long term. Remember, most of the time your upgrading her life and not the other way around. Money and Love go together but there also two different things. Best advice, take it slow, your on tropical time.
Same all over Asia.. Women think, no one is perfect, and love will come in time with comfort and closeness. So they can commit quickly if you seem a good provider and serious, and want kids.
In the provinces inviting someone out for a casual date was often difficult, especially in a conservative small town awash with gossip. Also many young women were hesitant. I had the perfect answer to this. I would invite them and say something like if they wanted to, they could bring along one of their lady friends for company, BUT ONLY ONE (this MUST be stipulated). The beauty of all this is a pair of young ladies doesn’t look like a romantic commitment. It can be sold to relatives as doing their national duty by showing a tourist the sights (mentioning cathedral instead of nightclubs, etc). One might say: wouldn’t that risk having her mother or sister turn up as the company? Never happened that way … it was invariably a lady friend roughly the same age. Okay, I paid for an extra dinner, but I never had a bad time. Spoiler alert: I eventually married the friend of the young woman I took out to dinner … and she never forgave her either … but that’s another story !
@@penguinvic9892 it's not sold to relatives as something else. The rule is you can meet men if you bring a brother or sister, but in a pinch a friend is fine
I was fortunate in having spent months with my Filipina online and having come to genuinely love her before making my first visit to the Philippines. The love was genuinely mutual and we married at my second visit a couple of months after my first visit. We are still married today.
She gave herself to you. Every guy should be so lucky. You were afraid to commit to the special gift. There's millions of lonely men who would love to be given such a beautiful gift as this.
So how about when she mentioned she was chatting with other guys? You meet a person who falls in love with you after 1 hour? Without knowing anything about you? Or you about her? Real life doesn't work like that.
I’m a Filipina. Born and raised in Philippines. Lived in both Canada and United States for over 20 yrs and counting. Just letting you foreign men know that most Filipinas in the provinces (or anyone who might not be in the upper economic class) look at a foreign guy and thinks they are handsome. There’s also the economic aspect of landing an American or whoever from the west, seeing it as an opportunity to get out of the situation back home & have a better life. I’m married to an American but we met and dated and married in Canada and the US. I don’t think all white dudes or foreigners are automatically “handsome”. I knew before marrying my hubby that he’s not financially loaded but we are both educated and have professional jobs. Just be cautious of scams etc. oftentimes I can’t blame the locals but I’ve seen and heard enough divorces here in a Filipino-foreigner marriage. And what’s with those older guys that marry girls half their ages and look like they’re 12? 😳 The men look like pedophiles. It’s just not right.
There's something called age of consent, if that is not infringed, whom older men want to be with is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. In the West today, people don't see anything wrong with 3y/o kids attending drag-queen shows with their parents, but Hell breaks loose when a man is attracted to a woman who may be or may look much younger...
@@AdamSahr-cj4kf absolutely not anyone’s business but that doesn’t stop a person from having strong opinions against the ridiculous May December couplings where it’s obvious that if not for economic benefits, the old as dirt foreign person doesn’t stand a chance to someone young enough to be their grandkid.
@@marissacarpenter2252 Do they state their opinions when children as young as 3 are diagnosed as having been born in the wrong body?! It is this kind of hypocrisy that made me become less harsh on older men living their foolish but not illegal fantasies...
You can't blame the Filipina, when the men are not there for the best motivations either. They want love romance and beauty, etc, without putting in any effort other than picking up the tab. Like attracts like.
I have been married 23 years to a Filipina and I totally agree but I will say that My wife and in-laws were the best . But be careful many Filipina that are poor only see the money. My father in law was the most hard working man I ever knew and he was such an inspiration to me .
@@jl909-nr5vx When you don't have hard stats, "many" is relative and in this case can be a very unfair statement to make. My take in regards to poor Filipinas in the Philipines is that most probably, 'few" is more accurate than "many". Having said that, I would also say that "all about money" is not particular to Filipinas only. Everywhere in the world, including the US, there are women (or even men) who are "all about the money" in a relationship. The difference is that poor women who are "all about the money" are motivated by survival instincts or by a natural-desire-for-a-good-life while those who are not poor (in the US or other wealthy countries) who are "all about the money" are motivated by greed! The former is understandable and could be acceptable while the latter is malicious and unforgivable.
My Filipino wife and I have been married for over 20 years, her family is great and most of them live here in the states, we visited her family in the Philippines in 2020 and stayed in a small fishing village and in Manila, the people were all so nice and despite the poverty there everyone seemed so happy and kind, we will go back in a couple of years and possibly spend some time in Thailand as we both love Thai food and culture, such beautiful people and land if not for my family here I’d move there in a heart beat.
Trophy boyfriend?? My wife did the I love u in the first 7 days LDR via Skype,,we still laugh about it..We met a year after we started our LDR in Cebu,,now 9 years later after our first message,she has her Citizenship here in the US,and she is the most amazing woman I have ever known and we are looking forward to our permanent move back to Cebu,so ya know the first day I Love You can sometimes work out..
Very cute. We have a similar story except we are still waiting for her interview. DQ and ready. So excited for my wife and son to see their home in the US. After so long in waiting for the process to finish.
I am very happy for you. Glad it worked out. Life here in the US is so much better in many ways but the Philippines has an appeal which the US does not have. When the time is right my Filipina wife and I will move to the Philippines. She, also, is from the Cebu province.
Excellent story! I’d say keep everything in context understanding her point of view. I would have simple said I love you too! If you like her and she is attractive to you! It does not mean I love you right now…it means there is the potential that I will love you! Sadly her heart was shattered because the misunderstanding of “I love you”…
If you want traditional, this is it. Traditionally, dating wasn't a thing, even in the US. Courting was but it's way different. In a traditional relationship, you are headed to the alter and there's no messing around. If you want lots of girlfriends and fun, RUN! If you're looking for that traditional virgin province girl wife,, roll with it. This experience could be the start of something very special. This happened to me and It worked out great. I was her first date, boyfriend and everything else and her family is good to me and doesn't ask for money. Just don't fall for the scammers or be a simp.
Yeah, the name Chad should be a clue that this dude fancies himself a chick boy, and he should have pointed this out explicitly in the chat, that he is only looking to meet people. A mature man knows what he wants and goes for it when he sees it. Probably best that many Filipinas prefer a man older than her. My wife asked me right up front what I was looking for, I told her the truth, that I was looking for a wife. Same story as you from then on.
Thank you for the video . I was very informed. I went to the Philippines in March of 2024. I met my girlfriend and now she is my fiance. I've been chatting for 5 years. I am from the US. I met her the whole family. Everyone, please be careful.
Having been in that situation many times, it’s very simple, but not easy. “To thine own self be true”. Be true to yourself no matter what culture your in. It’s ok to be open minded but never let go of who you are and what you want out of life. Especially in all of SE Asia, not just the Phillipines, have a mindset of abundance because that’s truly what exists. Also, the ability to say “no” no matter the feelings of the female is critical. Complying, acquiescing, magical thinking never work. I know many guys who have ruined their lives by complying and going along with things when it didn’t feel good. The price is your freedom and happiness. I trust myself 100% to handle any situation and that gives clarity and confidence. I don’t abandon myself. I love myself and treat myself accordingly.
My wife is from northern Leyte and her sister is from Naval and your 100% correct in your assessment of everything moving fast in the initial “dating” aspect of meeting a filipina.Although like you said there is no dating going on and meeting a western guy and not knowing how to process our normal experience in what they should do or say to us to express their feelings is a tall task for simple minded province girls. Not really fair for them and a bit overwhelming I’m sure because they want to improve their lives and I’m sure have dreamed of marrying a foreigner but don’t know the proper way to act or play the dating game so to speak. My wife said she loved me on my first visit to meet her and it was overwhelming to me as well but I understood her feelings and where she was coming from since she had never been in a relationship and never dated in her lifetime and she was already in early 30’s.No way can you love someone so quickly and that’s where we as westerners should have an understanding of before we totally reject the province girl for saying I love you” too quickly.👍
I want to point out also that not all filipina are like that. Some are aggressive for several reasons like what you mentioned but there are also a lot of single women that are shy & traditional. It depends where you go either in the province, the small barangays & in the city where women are more modern & sofisticated. Like the saying goes, buyers be ware!
I always thought of it more like "I love the idea of us in my mind" not actually I love you. As long as you seem like a decent guy and are foreigner which means at least wealthier than most there. Then that makes her fall in love with the idea of the two of you together. I just lower its significance as almost a translation error. That way it never bothered me and it also didn't make it mean more than what it does for them either . It definitely isn't the western version of the phrase.
FYI: Hook up culture is not a thing or common in the Philippines. It remains very conservative and religious.I’ll be straight to the point. Religion is a way of life. So premarital sex is discouraged. Women still aspires purity and virginity til after marriage. I know that is not the reality but in the provinces, that remains to be the main goal of a Filipina. A Filipina’s dream is to marry her first boyfriend. I know premarital sex happens but it is never discussed openly. It will be assumed that the couple being bf/gf does not engage in premarital sex. My sister and her boyfriend were together for 7-8 years before they got married. But every time her BF visits her and stays for the night at our house (he’s from another province), they don’t sleep in the same room. This is the reason why once a girl got pregnant, they automatically get married before her pregnancy becomes obvious. Parents of both sides are involve in this. Relationship normally starts through a third party. A common friend introduces the guy to the girl. Dates starts with group dates. If both are into each other, then the dates starts to progress to just both of them. If relationship started online, just like in his story, the getting to know phase is the chatting online. Once the girl decided to meet up, oftentimes you are the “chosen one” because there are others too that she entertains online. The girl in your story is 28. So she is not just looking to date and date and then choose. She is looking for a husband already, not just boyfriend. So don’t take that as the girl trying to trap you. Rarely, no Filipina will meet up with a guy just by herself. Usually they have a chaperone (a friend) with them especially on first date.
Lol totally delusional if you think so. We younger generation use Tinder a lot in Philippines and it's ripe with many girls on there looking for a good time. They are very very easy to find.
Hey everyone this is the most accurate comments that you can get regarding the subject matter, the original mindset of not allowing pre-marital sex is king, do you guys want to marry a girl who was already soiled by other man? Philippine culture evolved from this mindset, unless you want to settle for less
You just literally described me. I was born in the city and moved to a province when I was 8. I'm 25 years old, never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed and never been touched. And I'm not the only person I know who are like me. Filipina women in the province can be very traditional/conservative. I'm also hoping to marry my first ever boyfriend. Playing around is not something that comes to my mind
When I was stationed at Subic Bay, I watched those sailors get off the ship, get a bar girl, fall in love, and be ready to get married in less than 72 hours. Most of those guys had zero luck with women back in the US. They get to the Philippines and get love bombed by a pretty girl and they lose their mind. It is understandable why it happens, even with the bar girls. Seeing a province girl is a totally different game. There is no dating for fun. And most dates will be accompanied by a family member. They date with a purpose and they don’t waste time. If your a foreigner, they know you are the ultimate best option for what they are looking for, which is security. The local guys in the province are no competition as far as the girl is concerned.
Yes! If she is truly a traditional Filipina will expect a courtship that goes through various stages. She won't be in a hurry and will vet you carefully. If it happens too fast "with a purpose" it shows desperation and possible future problems. True courting starts with simple introductions, general observations, and questions to get to know her. That alone could take weeks while she observes your behavior and true intentions. This is followed by some intentional flirting, and some gift giving with an emphasis on thoughtfulness (like knowing her favorite color or candy). Then you should expect to ask her father if it is okay for you to formally court her. With her father's blessings, you would begin with chaperoned meetings. It would typically be expected that you be actual finances before you would even be able to see her alone. And this is all good! This gives you plenty of time to get to know both your Filipina and her family, so that know what you're getting yourself into.
The way to get around the family member accompanying you (and what’s worse, having to pay for them, too), is simply when asking a slightly hesitant young Filipina out to say a meal, is to tell her she may bring one of her lady friends along for company (but ONLY one !!). Trust me, they would prefer a friend than a family member. Every young lady in S.E. Asia I put this to accepted this deal, and NONE ever suggested a family member. So how is this different? … well for starters she’ll act more naturally around her friend. And often her friend will be on your side, too !! (You’d be surprised how pleased many of these friends were to be invited, too) Spoiler alert! I eventually married the friend who came along to keep her friend company … and she was NEVER forgiven for it (but that’s another story).
She, and her family lost face when you left suddenly... Imagine her next few weeks, having to explain her failure... Visiting her family in the province is the final commitment to a long term relationship with her and her family... Very embarrassing for her... Anyway these are the cultural differences that we stumble upon...
A friend of mine talked to a Filipina online for 3 years before they met. He flew over there and they decided to get married. He returned to America, and again the the Philippines six months later to marry her. He returned to the States and waited a year before she finally came over. After a couple years, she took her citizenship test and they’re still married. They’re older though. This all happened in their late 40’s into their mid 50’s. Her name is Jovie, she’s college educated and really cool. It was a great outcome.
Hello Sir i'm a Filipina, from Tacloban just a mile away from Naval and it happen i saw your vlogs. Based on the way i see it, it is still best to get to know that person more or whoever you meet in the foture, especially if you want to marry a filipina and settle down. Individual differences matter, because it's a lifetime commitment. There should be love and the authenticity of both sides. Stay safe, happy and God bless
Would you look at this fool? So full of himself. These women have been fighting their own life battles long before pompous westerners who think highly of themselves came to wreak havoc in their lives. These "poor" women do not need you. They've survived harsh living condition without men like you and is still surviving. Only a real fool would allow another to make a fool of him. If you are using money to get these women, then maybe you are indeed a "meal ticket", as you intended yourself to be. Think about that.
@user-zv6sx3rx3o Hello there. I'm a western man, late '50's and know very little about the Philippines, having never visited. Videos like this just pop into my feed occasionally. You are obviously successful and in an equal relationship, I just wondered if you think that is generally so with westerner/philipinas? Best regards
In 43 years, we probably average $200 a year sent back to her family. She wanted and got a job, learned to drive, and I had her pay the bills for 6 months to see what life costs.
Man I swear thanks for sharing! I watched about 25 different videos and multiple channels just to find something close to what I was going through. I had many doubts at first with the woman I’m talking to. I couldn’t understand the cultural difference at first. Though I was being scammed. The way you broke it down it made total sense why she was acting like that. I’ve been talking for 6 months I’m finally going to visit in November. So thanks for sharing.
There are a lot of pretty, nice girls over there that don't think so much of themselves, they are humble, down to earth, and just lonely like anyone else can be. They want to be married, they want to have a family, and they just want to be appreciated by someone for who they are.
@@GandalftheWise I can certainly see the appeal in going native, but only if I were filthy stinking rich. So from my perspective, the people are great, but the environment sucks. So why not have the best of both worlds? Now if I were to retire, my retirement income would be about $7,000 per month. Filthy stinking rich ... in the Philippines. But also enough to retire middle class in Texas as well, especially considering by then my wife will be working as well. And thats the other thing you have to factor in, What are a girls career possibilities post 40 years old in the USA vs post 40 years old in the Philippines, and if you care about your girl and care about your kids, you really dont want them stuck over there all by themselves after you are gone? Dude the Philippines is a nice place but its also one catastrophe away from disaster at any given time, whether thats a typhoon, a volcano, or a war and all you have to do is look at the historical record and ask yourself, what kind of crap has happened to the Philippines in the last 50 years (let make it easy for you, and start with Pinatubo and marshal law, just for starters) and what are the odds that something of this magnitude is going to affect my wife and kids over the next 50 years if I plant them there and leave them there? Now heres the thing a lot of people dont think about .. the wife was always part of the retirement plan, and me for hers. Follow your heart is one thing but this is the thing that made it make absolute sense logically. So its like a double whammy, head and heart aligned. The kids were an unintended benefit. I wanted kids. Give me a chance to breed a pretty little Filipina girl of my own and Im like hell yea. And one of best looking guys I ever saw in my life was a half breed Filipino white guy. So I got a son and a daughter and they are both really good looking kids! The kids also boost your social security retirement if they are minor dependents while you are collecting retirement benefits. I got 13 years of boosted social security after I retire so that lasts me until 78 and I'll be lucky if I'm still alive then. The wife will be working, the house will be paid off. So hopefully she will be fine. She loses the social security by then until shes 60 but my pension is set up so she benefits for HER life. Kids will be old enough to help if she really needs it. So maybe I got lucky because my job exposed me to the Philippines and maybe I got lucky because my career allows me to take care of a family by myself (barely sometimes) but I think I really got lucky because I was able to capitalize on the sweet spot of being exposed to the Philippines at 50, not 62 or 65 and getting married and start having more kids at 55. So thats my advice to people, but only because it worked for me. Go over there at 50 and start hunting. Marry a girl by 55 who can have kids and want kids. Want kids yourself. Bring her home. Make sure shes a GOOD girl. Have a wonderful time being happy and in love and sharing your beautiful children together and enjoy as a man the wife you always wanted, and save yourself early from this f***d up retirement situation most older divorced men have found themselves in, before its too late to course correction and you find yourself there at 62 or 65 with only a couple thousand a month in retirement with NO choices but to stay there and not do anything good for the world except slow the burn into poverty and death for one girl over there.
@@Electrichead64 thank you for the reply. My time in the Army exposed me to foreign women, but aren't you worried they will change when ypu bring them back?
@@GandalftheWise its not her that you have to worry about her changing or not changing. Its about you changing. Its a transformative process that you have to go through as a human in order to find, hook, and keep a good filipina. But she has to be good to begin with, too. My wife and I talk about this all the time, and one thing you will discover is that you CANNOT keep Filipinas from networking. This is just what they do. They will naturally gravitate towards each other. They will find each other on Facebook. You can be walking through Costco and there can be a Filipina 75 yards away and they wont know each other but they will be magnets to each other and become friends. You jsut gotta hope she picks good friends. Fortunately, we have good friends. There are about 15 Fil-Am couples in my small town of 250,000 people that we personally know that have been together for years and decades and are perfectly happy. Age gap, not age gap, black, white, doesnt matter .. the ONE thing they all have in common is this is kind of a Christian fellowship group. Her two best friends are filipinas in fil am relationships .. well one IS a filipino but hes been here in the US for 20 years and this is his second marriage and his first wife was a fillipina that brought HIM over. His second wife is a girl from the provinces. Shes fresh off the farm, so to speak. So my wife and her get a long real well and our kids are friends with their kids. Second couple has kids too but shes married to an american and hes not quite as old as I am but a bit older and they met when she was actually OFW in the middle east. Long story but he was over there for a while too for something. The Flips that are in California, well theres a reason why they have that nickname. For one, California by nature distorts reality and makes people really selfish and possessive and there seems to be a big difference between a Natural Born Filipina and a Second of Third Generation Filipina that grew up in the US.
I talk to my girl for year before we met. And I wouldnt put a label on us. (Boyfriend/girlfriend) until we met. Well after 3 years I'm getting married. Guys don't be rushing! Take your time. So many beautiful Fhilipnas there!
Hello, I am a Filipino lady, 23 years in Canada, divorced because my husband found a young woman in Cuba and I took care of him in 15 years because of the health problems. But I accepted what he did to me. We meet in the Philippines by the recommendation of my aunt, but we wrote and call each other in 1 and 1/2 years before he came to the Philippines. My point, your situation in the Philippines are different from the other people, you cannot tell your destiny, and you can't say that all the woman's are the same, it depends the woman, even the man here in Canada, I had an experienced in the dating site, he wants to come in my home, I said we meet in the restaurant. What the heck this man and he knows my place and I did not open the door because I didn't know him. I blocked him so that he will stop bagging me. In my opinion we cannot judge all the man, woman, it depends their character, if they have delikadesa, means that they are reckless not thinking, or no respect to the other people. I hope that you know what I mean. Good luck to your journey in the Philippines.
Thank you, young sir, for discussing this delicate matter with great tact and sensitivity. You are right when you noted the desperation of many young and economically challenged women in my country (whether from the province or the city) who throw themselves into the arms of male foreigners, just so they could escape the hole they are in. This is not to denigrate your personal charms. But the belief that foreigners who can afford to travel must have some money, still persists, sadly. Well, at least you did not end up with a pretty angel who would drop something to your drink then proceed to rob you while you are out cold leaving only your underwear, or your life. Actually you did have a fun adventure and a good story!
These province girls all know they might only ever get one shot at a life changing relationship with a foreigner. It’s understandable they might feel a little desperate to move quickly
I don't know if where do these guys go, but not all Filipinas are after your wallet. Ffs, we're just humans just like you. I'm aware that there are some gold diggers here (just like in Western countries) but I don't think that's the majority of us. Disgusting.
My filipina wife and I married over 28 years, 2 children and still very much in love and respect. She is from Naval also. However, we wrote letters for one year before our first meeting in 1994. We married in 1996. Pretty much an old fashioned relationship. She is a wonderful lady.
As someone who's been living in Southeast Asia for 12 years, I knew where you were going with this story before you started. Thanks for sharing bro. Very well said, and good advice.
10 years full time in a very small province town... The 20-30 year old Filipina's are way more hip than ever before. Social media has changed the dynamics. Many are chatting with western men, but the ladies are being a lot more careful, and are not just throwing themselves at anyone. Just my point of view. To find a good match (for both) everyone has to put in the time and work.
90 percent of guys online will never leave home , over 50 percent do not even have a passport , its a game for them , beware , ask to see the mans passport
My fiancee is a Filipina, we have been together over two years now,LDR,we met online, were friends first, then it just happened, I have visited a couple of times, everyone was very nice, I met her family and friends, she is the sweetest person,when I am together with her,I feel very comfortable with her,she doesn't make me feel uneasy or makes me nervous. She is truly an Angel
Its ok to say you love them. they are from another culture. Its expected to say I love you to them. If you don't play their game they may leave you and get disappointed and you may lose a good girl. Just don't take advantage of them or waste their time because they are in their prime of their youth
If it's a Filipina, you will without a doubt hear her say I love you in the first week! GUARANTEED!! My Filipina fiance told me she loved me after three days and told me she would marry me after the first week. We talked for over a year before we met. I'm not wealthy at all. FYI she is retired and we're almost the same age
@@adamdavis4164 my wife did the same thing. And to be honest, even after a few days, I knew she was different than any of the women I'd ever known. She was sincere, serious and knew what she wanted in life. We had a long distance relationship for 4 years before we met in person and by that time we both knew each other pretty well. We've been married for 2 years now and life is great. She is a few years younger than me and has several kids in the high school ages. My kids are in their 20s. Together, our families have meshed as well as possible from across the world. Boring story long, the women I have met in PI are more about real lives and the future than any American I know. They are not hindered by peer pressure and media to pick apart every little problem in a potential suitor. They are able to decide quickly if they would be willing to make a life with someone forever. Don't abuse this and destroy lives in a conquest. And don't expect these women to understand if you do that. Ps- middle age women in the PI (35-50) are mature, hard-working and honest. They are loyal to a fault and you will never be sorry giving them a chance by getting to know them. God bless!
Filipina women can fall in love FAST. It doesn't always mean bad. Filipina women generally likes decent and respectful men and we're pretty vocal about what we feel, esp when it comes to love.
If some foreigner had met her the previous week at the bus stop in her town, she would have given him the same tour and told him that she loves him too. I think the worst part of the awkwardness of your situation when she said "I love you" is the realization (probably you knew this in advance though) that you're nobody special to her and that she doesn't love you for who you are, only for what you potentially represent in changing her life. The relationship at this point is strictly transactional since you are interchangeable with any other foreigner.
Put God first. That’s what we did and are happily married to this day..She grew up in Samar and worked in Manila. We dated online, and the content of our subject? The Bible scriptures. First seek his righteous. I hope this testimony helps someone. BTW, we continue to put God first in everything we do some 11 years later and we are committed to surrendering everything to him.
I think you are overthinking this. Their culture is open and simple. She was just expressing a cultural understanding of love. It's not what you're assuming at all. All you had to say was that I love you too, as a gesture of affection, not as a declaration of love. You mistook her intentions, but you can't see through that meaning. What you did was shallow and mean. She didn't deserve your lack of understanding. Ultimately, all you had to say to her was that I loved you too. You never reciprocated her affection, and that was wrong. Next time, just say that I love you. You don't have to be in love to say that.
Were used to American culture where people just sleep together all the time with no strings attached and people are always playing games with each other constantly and everyone is highly paid and well fed but pretty miserable.
@@bobrolls3800 Thats why so many people in America are lonely and unhappy. Why road rage is so common and 1/3 of our population is on anti depressants. In America relationships are mostly just about using other people not about building families anymore.
@@bobrolls3800 Total nonsense, marrying someone you never had sex with underlines how much you value sex and likely directly speaks to your ability. Nothing is lost when adults have mutually satisfyingly sex. You do you, but the idea of marrying someone with out knowing them sexually has zero appeal. The stats do not show these relationships to last longer.
Imagine marrying someone, and then finding out they don't do oral. Or they don't wash very well. A lot of sweeping generalizations here that tell me that you're just terrible at relationships. And apparently bad at financial planning if you think "everyone is highly paid" hahaha
Absolutely great advice! I’ve been married to my Asawa for 15 years. We met while I was living there for 4 years. We dated for 2 years before getting married. She had three kids I raised, we had two together and we are still very happy living in Texas. You sounded expressed it perfectly. Thanks and good luck to All!
My girl and I were introduced by my friend who is engaged to her sister. Good situation in a province. Helps that I didn't meet her online. We've talked for a few months and things are going great. Even though i haven't met her I can see that she has a bright, loving, and giving soul. Comes from the most traditional and conservative families
When I lived in Ukraine in 2009 I was about 32 and i met the cutest lil 18 year old but I didn't want to date her because I thought she was too young for me, but we had mutual friends and would see each other from time to time, she became more flirtatious and i decided I'd go on a date with her, to if she was really interested in me. On our first date she hugged me tightly, looked up at me like i was the most important man in the world and told me she thought she was falling in love with me. To me she seemed sincere, and I knew that if she was being sincere and I was interested then I'd better just go with it, so I told her I thought I was falling in love with her too because I knew that I had the potential to fall in love with her. We started dating, saw each other often, she was a very clever and sincere girl and we had a great relationship for 2 years until she went to study in the US for a year and it caused her her to go a bit crazy from the culture shock. But the main point is that just because a girl expresses feelings early on doesn't mean she's lying or manipulating you, and if you want to have a chance with her it's much better to go with it becasue women don't usually handle rejection well and it might be difficult for her to get back to that place in the relationship.
Nobody likes rejection, men or women.....and women get thrown in the trash as well. I dated a guy for 6 months and I had feelings for him as I thought he had for me. It was at this point he told me he loved me for the first time. I reciprocated and was happy. One week later he dumped for for someone else - a woman he had long been attracted to but who had turned him down multiple times. Until she knew he was happy in a relationship....then she crooked her little finger and he went running. They only lasted a weekend then she cheated on him with his boss, (he lost his job over it) his friends and work mates and her pregnant sisters bf .But having broken us up wasn't enough for this psycho.....I got silent phone calls, abusive phone calls etc for weeks after we broke up. She was a sadistic narcissist who wanted to rub it in that she had taken my man...well she broke him too. Weeks later he tried to come back and lied to me that it wasn't because of her....but his room mate had called me and told me the whole story. And how after their first weekend together she had disappeared and he couldn't find her. She was too busy shagging guys she had met through him. I wouldn't take him back but he kept trying for the next year........He never found a decent woman, I saw him advertising often online for a partner but none of them ever lasted. He was alone when he died of cancer in his 60's. @@machinized
Exactly! Handled like a mature man who knows how to be sensitive when around women. I would also add that not one time in your comment did you mention sex or romance with her-showing you're a class act.
Once they got pregnant they don't show affection to you anymore, they treat you bad. This situation was a little bit more complicated because the girl had a diploma, which implied she's more intelligent and could give you interesting situations. But the second she said "I love you" she betrayed herself
My policy for dating is to be UP FRONT, straight to the point and be honest with Filipinas from the get go. This means FIGHTING the urge to play the dating game we are dealt in the West. Meaning, stop playing the diplomatic route or acquiescing to a woman to get her attention and approval. In the WEST 95% of men are completely ignored by 95% of all women. Western men therefore are used to being ignored and used to having to play the game to try and get a girls attention. In the East and Philippines its totally different as a western man is now the PRIZE or the one that ALL girls will want to associate with. Girls in the province are FAR more likely to jump at the chance to close the deal with you than a city girl. As you stated, province girls do not necessarily have the relational experience to know how to deal with a man yet. This is why its so important to communicate UP FRONT your intentions to her and her family and friends as needed. I would RATHER I scare away more Filipina than get caught in the situation you described where it becomes awkward when they determine quickly you are the man they want and you are not ready for that level of commitment yet. They will get clingy and affectionate and begin to transfer their love for you to you so that you know they are ready to commit to a long term relationship with you. Men need to take the LEAD in relationships and be CLEAR in their intentions. I usually only see inexperienced men do what you experienced and jump into things to fast because they are cute, beautiful, sexy, and things seem to just click and you connect so fast. You dont want to RUIN a possible chance at love. However, in ignoring being UP FRONT and DIRECT you actually have a far greater RISK of loosing them, as your video PROOVED, as when things got awkward everyone didn't feel good and the relationship never blossomed as it could have if open up from communication had been present. Innocent naïve Province Filipinas are NOT the problem, its the MEN that are the problem. This video shows how a young naïve man who didn't control the relationship UP FRONT and didn't communicate directly for fear of loosing out made a bad decision to visit a Province girl in her HOME TERRATORY, which is a sign to a Province girl you are SERIOUS about her. Never ever visit a Province girl in their provincial home because you will be culturally communicating to her, her family and friends that you are a serious suiter for marriage purposes. ONLY visit them if you have clearly communicated your intentions and the process you are following for dating and getting to know them. Make sure they ARE CLEAR as well and that you know what they want and are expecting. DONT PLAY DUMB and just go along with the process. STOP AND THINK with your BRAIN and not the other head or your heart as those two things will deceive you. Men need to take RESPONSABILTY for the relationships they are engaging in. Unlike in the west were most men know that the WOMEN control 95% of the relationship and determine the relational rules, in the EAST a man MUST take on a more TRADITIONAL ROLE of being a Gentleman and a LEADER in relationships. This may require you get some training on how to be a gentleman and how to lead in a relationship if you have never done so or were never raised or taught these skills.
I was in an LDR for a year with my Filipina girlfriend before I finally met her in person. It took her about 6 weeks online and in video chats before she said I love you. When I met her the first time, we spent a week in Manila alone together before we travelled back to her province to meet her family. We have been in an LDR for 2.5 years and I have visited her three times for 9 weeks and we always spend a week alone together before we return to the province for a couple of weeks. I think it’s better for our relationship to spend some time alone. We haven’t married yet, but we are engaged.
Don't listen to the idiot calling you a chump. I've been dating my Filipina fiance since December 2016. When I first met her family she told them don't ever ask me anything about money. She also told me don't be Facebook friends with any of her family and don't every discuss money with them without her knowing. She knows my family and talk with my brother and sister often. She is a nurse in the Philippines. One time on my visit I got sick since I am allergic to shrimp. She took me to the emergency room in the hospital she works and had me skip the line. I was treated by two of her doctor friends and was out of there in about 30 minutes. You will not find any American girl that compares to a Filipina when it comes to how they will treat you. I had to tell her to stop doing things for me because I felt so damn guilty. I even complained to my sister about it. My sister opinion on it was that's her culture they is nothing wrong with it. Well it's now 2024 and we're still together. I still have to tell her stop folding my clothes and pampering me all the time. In fact I started doing the same thing to her to show my appreciation. @@rolandmueller7218
my 5 cents: if she says "i love", I would respond "we are not long together yet. but I love you too - in my own secret way". Most of them do understand what that means (e.g. that you love being with her. or that you love her smile. or that you love her affection. or her hair. or whatsoever) and it gives you so many options for a great conversation or even more. Or less if things don't turn out to go the right way ...
Thanks for posting ,its crazy i had a similar experience happen to me in Colombia . The super fast pace from 0 to I love you caught me off Guard and i just had to be real and explain why . She was super nice and was from a super small finca town with never been outside of her city..Thanks for posting.. Next April Im coming to the Philippines Im super excited I cant wait ive pretty much covered all brazil and Colombia Im ready for a change in culture . Cheers to my fellow expats living our best life
I was very fortunate to not experience that type of initial meeting. My filapina was working in Hong Kong as an OFW. SO, WHEN I traveled there to meet her face to face it was just the rwo of us. The initial meet up was a bit awkward, but the trip was fantastic. When her contract ended she returned to the Philippines. I joined her there for a vacation. I met the family in the province on the mountain. I knew what to expect so it was a pleasant experience. Now six years and 2 kids later it just gets better.
She wants the Life-style, the man is interchangeable, any Foreigner will do.. She loved the feeling of telling the whole village and family of finding a guy and all the attention that comes with it.. you made the right choice to run for the hills...
Your experience exudes a lack of maturity. However, don't worry, we all go through trials and errors and learn from them. Your video will help many young men out there that women, culture, family, friends all play a role in dating and relationships.
I swear you guys aren't getting the story here. A province Filipina isn't going to have a clue what you're talking about. Boundaries? You're talking gibberish. What they do understand is being corrected. That's how they learn your program. Time for the date to be over as soon as you're not enjoying it. Let her figure out out to fix it. When the texts start flying "No problem baby. Sure we see can see each other again." That tells her you will be patience with her. Next time there's a problem, the same treatment. In between she'll be doing nothing but reviewing every second with you, reviewing the tape with every friend and cousin on how she can improve her game. All you have to do is show her when you're not having fun the date is over. If you have experience dating US women just do the same as they treated you. Kind you imagine a US woman telling you boundaries pre-first date? That's in one ear and out the other. A US woman shows you her boundaries as needed.
@MrWaterbugdesign I believe Chad handled that correctly, he has heart and u have been hurt from westernized females. So u treat these sweet Filipinas with no heart. Even crude.
That's been my limited experience. There's a couple ways to deal with it imo. #1 You play the game. If she's saying "I love you" right away it's OK to say it back. People say they "love" their phone. The definition of "love" is all over the place. She's really saying "I love being with you", but if "I love you" is how she wants to define it, I can say the same and be honest. You can even reply "I love being with you too." That's honest. She get's to hear "love" so she's good. Now you can find out her name. #2 You can do the awkward thing. She can get hurt and do her manipulation thing. The mistake imo is seeing this as a red flag big enough to end it. If you're 40+ and she's under 30 in the province you should be leading. That means teaching her how you want the relationship to work. I'd end the date pretty quick when she starts being a problem. After the texts start flying in I'd reassure her it's not a problem, sure I'd be happy to see you again. If a problem comes up, I end the date. Repeat. She's trying to land you, so you should be teaching her how to do it. If she's failing the same lesson more the 2 times she's unteachable and time to move on. You're going to run into this over and over. At some point you're going to have to teach one of them to get on your plan. Otherwise what's the alternative? You wait until you run into a Filipina not really that into you so you have to chase her? Does that make any sense to anyone? You're not in America. Stop treating province Filipinas like Western women. Yes, they love you for the life you can provide them. Nothing wrong with that. Let the puppy pick you. Then train the puppy.
For sure. This was not a western I love you... there's so much hype around it in the West. She was sharing how she felt in that moment. If you would have played it out a few hours, she would have probably hated you too!
One of the few videos I could actually recommend. Married my province girl but she never ever gave me a red flag warning.. Took a 8 month LDR (Covid) to finally meet her. The rest is history. Beyond grateful and happy.
I agree with this fact guys: when a filipina says "I love you" after only knowing her for a month and intimate only a few times, It is an empty saying. Just use your head. And flip it around to your experience in the west.When you had a girlfriend in college in the united states, did you hear I love you from her after just 3-4 weeks of dating her and being intimate with her just a few times??. Not hardly. Thats why filipina's are the BEST at voicing fake sentences that they have heard on TV and in Phillipine soap operas. Be careful , dont make a poor decision..
so your saying that she shouldnt feel anything for you after a month? if your dating someone for a month, what is the relationship? just to hang out? just to waste her time when she is really looking for love? really? you sound like a guy who just want to have fun without any committment to be made...stop dating and wasting these girls time and just stick to watching porn
Man, I was in the L.A. Café in Manila, this was insane! I wasn't even finished my beer order all of the sudden 7 Girls stoot around me, a strange man began to massage me. I was totally overwhelmed from the sensory impressions. Always aware that I am only a walking ATM for them.
I have lived in Asia for over 10 years. In Thailand Philippines Vietnam and Cambodia the sad truth is that these girls are simply not bought up on any concept of love. They are bought up to ensure they have enough to eat tomorrow and many are responsible to ensure the same for their families. As far as western men are concerned, for them we are just a way out of a poverty trap. It is a sad truth but it is ALWAYS the case. If you are aware of it and keep your feet on the ground and your heads out of the clouds it can be a win win, as they are fantastic women. But you are never any more than an ATM and that is just reality. You are not a Hansum Man or attractive. Most of these girls perception of love is nothing like it is in the west. It may grow to that after a time if you find a good one. To them it is about survival and security not love and romance and who can blame them.
I really appreciate you bringing your very personal experience’s to your channel for us to learn from. Thank you! It’s all a learning experience and enriches one’s life with many colorful stories! Peace ☮️
Theres a strong Catholic presence in Philippines. VERY family oriented. When a young woman gets pregnant out of wedlock the man is forced to take care of her and her child. If they have parents you are also expected to take care of them. Its a huge commitment. Do not "meet the family" unless you intend on marrying them.
Are you delusional so many single mothers in the Philippines nobody if forced to support any children just walk away like a dog. But foreigners are more likely to be held responsible. Especially if married. Get DNA test for sure
I think you did the right thing. It’s best to go slow and get to know each other. If you’re meant to be then you’re meant to be Don’t rush. It’s best to be on the safe, careful side than regret which is harder. I’m a Pilipina and my husband and I been together for 43 yrs. We’re both Pilipino.
Thanks for posting Chad, open and honest. So grateful that i met you and Chris randomly at a coffee place in IT Park on my first full day after arrival :-). Kudos to u and Chris.
I was thrown for a loop in America at a job site when a few months into the contract a ton of the young single women started flirting very aggressively with me, turns out the lady that cut my P.O. checks leaked how much I was charging/make. For a province girl getting a westerner is likely the same as an American women getting a professional sports player or wealthy business owner. Not saying there is no attraction towards the dude in both cases however the prospect of improvement in lifestyle and security for themselves and future kids is deep rooted genetic programming not just a cultural thing.
It's more fun in the Philippines! You just have to roll with it and enjoy your time there. You were exactly right. They are congratulating her! Just enjoy feeling like a star while you are there and keep your head on straight. Good Video!
I have friends that have married or dated Asian women. One met, dated, and married a Filipina here in the states. She told him she knew loved him the moment she met him. They’ve been married almost 35 years and have 3 sons and a daughter. He told me these women fall in love very easily. I think they have their life story planned out before they meet a man. In their mind, whenever they meet, the man, it was fate. Of course there are scammers out there and you do have to have your wits about you while thinking with the bigger head. My Vietnamese ex girlfriend told me she knew she loved me the first time I kissed her good night. I asked her, how? She said, “… you had great breath. “ 😂
You can’t be talking to girls in the province if you’re not trying to take it that far. It’s not like the US where women talk to men they’re not interested in for no reason. They won’t even answer back if they don’t like you.
true, this guys making titles like this have no clue or idea and yet create these kinds of titles over and over...i was waiting for the "backfired, beware of this" moment...i didnt see it...all i saw was people wanting to see and meet you...something that western culture dont have or experience...this guy has been in the PH for a while now and still act like he dont know the culture when it comes to dating, especially in the province LOL
She thought you were rejecting her and that's why she got so upset I guess she figured she wasn't good enough for you and that she just couldn't believe that it was really going to happen and I guess she just got so disappointed
you don't visit someone in their village unless you are serious. Like 1950 in USA - - bringing a guy home to meet the family. Same in Thailand. The minute rice of relationships...
I’m a Filipina who lives here in US now for 14 yrs. She sounds desperate to marry a foreigner. Also sound childish. That’s not typical of a Filipina who has well intention to be the aggressive one “saying I love you” specially from provinces because I’m from there. Yes we don’t date, but we wait to get to know u before we marry. U should also be upfront with her that u want to take it slow or get to know her first before u commit.
So true! I wish all these expat channels would stop giving relationship advice. They don't know the first thing about Filipino culture and only lead their subscribers into making terrible mistakes.
The word "dating" was created to describe a process whereby one gets to know someone else before marriage and to take it slow in order to get to know a person first before committing.
Just about all single Filipinas will date as in go out to dinner etc, however what needs to be done is this … if she’s hesitant (and if she’s from the provinces or a conservative part of the country or from a conservative family, or a combination, chances are she will), it’s a great idea to suggest that she may invite one of her lady friends as well (but ONLY one, it’s important to stipulate this). Since this arrangement doesn’t sound all that romantic, it’s easily sold to family as doing her national bit for tourism and they would rather a friend than a family member. I never had a bad double date like this, either. There were a couple of hilarious times when the original invitee tried to lose her friend, who stubbornly refused to disappear. I always made a point of telling the friend that they were most welcome to stay !! This bit of double date strategy worked quite well for me all over S.E. Asia, whereas if I had made the invitation out to just the invitee, chances are I’d have been sitting by myself in a coffee shop late at night. A friend along has the added advantage of conversation never lagging, too. It often makes your date feel more comfortable and is almost gossip proof in small provincial towns.
@@penguinvic9892 Disagree. You're bringing your Western mindset and expectations with you to the Philippines. A traditional Filipina will NOT go on a so-called "date" with anyone (especially a foreigner) - chaperoned or not - unless she's already known you for a while, and you're also known to her family. A chaperoned date is the equivalent of 2nd or 3rd base. It's a bad sign if she's over eager to break from her own customs. Stipulating a strict limitation on how many people she can bring to a date in advance is a mistake! You want her to be her natural self. If she brings too many people, this shows her opportunistic nature and let's you know if you should drop her. A more clever way of handling this situation is to simply ask her beforehand how many people she intends to bring along so that you'll be sure to bring enough money to pay the bill. If she say she's bringing two people, and it ends up being her entire family, well... that already tells you a lot about her character and what you can expect in the future, doesn't it? And if she openly tells you that she's going to bring her entire family to the first date, that also tells you what the future may hold. The slow courtship/vetting process that a traditional Filipina will expect is as much of a benefit to the foreign suitor as it is the Filipina. It gives you a lot of time to vet and examine her. In time, she'll turn over all her cards and reveal her true self. It's far less expensive and traumatizing to be taken advantage of once or twice early on in the courtship, than to jump in headfirst and only later find out what kind of a person she really is. Of course, this also means that you're not going to be able to shag her within the first few "dates" as is common in the West. It will NOT be a try-before-you-buy situation. Actually, this is a good thing. It proves their is more to your relationship than sexual attraction. Having said all of this, I know this is something most Americans will NEVER do. I always amazes me how soon a foreigner is willing to marry a Filipina compared to an American when he was back home in the states. In the states, he would wait months or years. But in the Philippines, a culture he knows little or nothing about, in a country where there is no divorce, he'll marry a local girl within weeks! He'll often cite all the time they spent "dating online" or engaging in a "long distance relationship" as proof of how well he knows her. Online dating and long-distance relationships are pure fantasy! In this regard, the Philippines is a fool's paradise! This is especially true when the suitor is a dirty old man, and the suitress is a desperate young Filipina looking for a way out of poverty.
"I love you". Who is "I" and "you"? What is love? 1) you can never fully know someone 2) the reason is there is the real you, and the shadow you. 3) if you dont know yourself, how can you love yourself? And if you cant love yourself, how can you love anyone else? My advice: ditch "i love you", marriage, and all that nonsense. You will be much happier. And yes...I dont love both sides of myself, Im a best friend/mentor to my true self. I like true self.
I married a Philippina. Brought her to the USA. Had 2 kids. Her family took me for about $15K. My phone bill (pre cellphone) was running $500 / month. After our second child, like someone threw a switch, she began openly sleeping around. Did not even try to hide it. Said it was 'her culture'. I divorced her and raised my 2 toddler-age daughters myself. Yes this was a big, expensive life disaster but me and the kids survived and everyone is doing OK. But it wasn't easy and this could happen to you.
Filipino women especially in the province don’t understand the western culture that’s why it’s better to let them understand that the first meeting it doesn’t mean marriage right away or say I love you especially women in the province who never meet a foreigner before they are so proud to be with the good looking guys especially the foreigners with white skin and tall that’s why you got that kind of attention..
An informative video. Your experience reminded me of a province woman I was in contact with years ago. She was a pen pal and her expectations were far off at times. Let’s say she wanted marriage as soon as possible. Before I my maiden voyage to the Philippines I got in touch with a selection of Pinay friends and this particular woman kept pushing the “Do you love me?” narrative until I made the decision not to meet her in person. Ultimately she got jealous because I was to meet others without seeing her. However, I can imagined if I met her in person: there would’ve been a welcome committee of family, friends, extended family members, the local priest etc. interrogating me about the future and possibly marriage. I’m glad to have avoided a potentially awkward situation. Thanks for reminding me of what I avoided, Chad.
There's a reason why many guys get married after a 2 week vacation in the Phillies. Careful guys, often it doesn't work out long-term. It is essential that you know a person personally for a while. Living together for at least 1 year is recommended. There are many quirks and cultural differences and you don't want to find out after you put a ring on her finger!
Back in the 1990s, I spent time in the Phils. I met several young ladies (18, 19, and 20 yr olds) who wanted to marry me after spending one hour with them. These girls were super cute and beautiful. I was in my mid to late 40s at that time. I didn't do it. They were much too young. I have to admit I did like the attention.
Great advise. I just got lucky ....my wife came to Canada and we met at a party. Got her number. I waited 2 weeks cause I was a happy bachelor and had to consider if I even wanted a crazy woman in my life. 😂 We went on our first date .....and she never went home. 15 years later we still laugh we're on our first date. She's been a gift from god. She got her citizenship on her own, she's a professional in the medical field. I tease her she's my sugar momma. But in 15 years we've only laughed, she's never nagged me about anything ever. Can you believe that ? Changed my life and I'm truly blessed. I pray every day that God doesn't figure out he's missing an angel. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 😊
@@diamond4829 life works in strange ways sometimes...................I have met a few couples who have created great relationships and marriages.........it was just meant to be and how great is that.
We like to think in the 21st century that we are more evolved and better understanding of relationshi9ps than they were 100, 200, 500 years ago yet somehow our relationships last much shorter periods than theirs did. This long term dating, living together for 1 year or more before marriage is a modern invention of the west. The west is not doing so well in the area of relationships between men and women. I am not saying marry a girl after a week of knowing her but perhaps the western mindset is actually faulty.
I told mine I loved her a week in ….We are celebrating 37 years married with 3 very successful children
I married mine in the 2nd week of knowing her.
40 years here
I'm very happy about your success. But it is not the norm for every couple. There are marriage statistics out there claiming differently.
@@Asuncion-xc6sr Mathew 19 vs 8-9 laws of God marriage divorce laws of God people don’t even know it exists. Congratulations
Married 43 years to a Filipina. We're still doing good.
met my wife at a mall, had a place and a car so offered her a ride home. was surprised when she said let's go somewhere private. long story short, married 10 years with 3 kids and still go somewhere 'private'
The fact that she tried to make you feel jealous mentioning other guys. Means you made the right move in getting out of there.
Why? maybe she really liked him and didn't know how to make herself show more value other than that idk
@@loumason6120wrong. You don’t fall in love in a week. Lol at least normal people don’t. Not saying all Filipina women are the same but this scenario is the girl is just looking for a meal ticket and trying to close the deal asap. Their dream goal is to marry a white foreigner.
@@loumason6120no a woman who’s first response is playing these types of games is a woman you run from… I’ve been in that type of relationship for years in the past and it’s mentally exhausting
Wow so if she doesn't get or hear what she wants,then there's the problem. It doesn't matter where you come from but where your intentions lay. It takes time to get to know each other, to build something solid. You just saved your self from confusion and heartache. Much peace 🕊️ love and light
Thanks for the video. I'm 3 years in on a relationship with my Filipina. Been to PH twice. She's older (45 school teacher) and I'm 60 now (arrg) - experienced a lot of what you have described. BUT I went with it. Felt so cared for, she is wonderful. Met the family, (even before I arrived via Chat). When I got there, fell in love and felt so welcomed by all her family and her colleagues. We get along so weIl- on the same page - mature. No judgement - Guess it comes down to what you want. I found my soul mate. Feel lucky.
7
I am a Filipino I am 777 years old I am very glad you are very cautious 16:51
Congratulations 🎈 you got yourself a ladyboy😂
@@docmanny1946Hey Cornholio, I’ve seen you 423 years ago at Pattaya😮
@@humungushumungus213 . Grow up.
When my friend met his wife for the first time her uncle immediately asked,” What are your intentions?”
My wife and I met in the states, had only 6 dates and married. 35 years later we’re retired in the Philippines.
Thrilling !😅
They don’t make them like that anymore. Social media changes the landscape.
Yeah, had her grandfather ask me that. Told him I will bring her to the USA and marry her. He told me good. You know what you want.
Sounds like my family in the states
Ten years ago I met my Filipina angel she was and is so beautiful I fall in love everyday with her I am British and have now been living in the Philippines for the past two years she is my strength my life and her family have always been there for us never have they asked me for anything but obviously I have no problem in helping my health has improved given up smoking and drinking just loving the culture ❤
For an Englishman your grammar is horrible lol
be honest how much money you have been given away...just be honest...regardless all the good things that happened to you.
Yeah, how much to l do you give her family every month?
@@mjklein I hold the bank book ATM I just take care of my wife and child occasionally I'll buy something for the others but in honesty they don't need my money as their pretty successful themselves
I lost 40 lb my first 7 months in the Philippines and feel 100% better but my Filipina keeps me hopping we love to road trip
Yeah my Filipina told me she loved me on day 4 of us talking LOL. I came an inch from ending our communication because of that...but I kept it in the back of my mind that she's from a completely different culture, situation, part of the world, and universe than I am. She's 31 but inexperienced. She never seemed to be after my money or trying to get anything from me but my attention, so instead of ending it I explained how westerners are and that if she wants me to love her back, she needs to wait a few months while we spend time together and get to know each other well. She was disappointed at first but she got used to the idea after a couple of days, and we went from there.
Fast forward 14 months, I love her now too and she is honestly the most genuine, moral woman I've ever had the privilege to be with, her heart is so big. And she's fiercely loyal. Never seen this kind of faithfulness in any western woman ever. I return it for her.
So yeah don't let the "immediate love" thing put you off. Now her reaction when you explain to her that its going to take time...that's another thing, it can be a red or a green flag.
Wow 😍
What a great story & insight. Glad it's worked out so well!
@@skygazer4251let him give it 2 to 4 more years. It’s always good at first.
I am a Filipino and my late husband (a foreigner) courted me for 2 years..been married for 24 years before he died..you have to know each other before having a relationship (compatability, hobbies, plans, family, etc. etc.).I got married at the age of 34, my first boyfriend and everything. Now I am happily married (my 2nd time) at the age of 70. My 2nd husband is also a foreigner. Married life is good simple and happy.
Absolutely. I courted online for 2 years to get to know my other half.
That’s nice, it’s good to have a partner. I had a snake, married for 22 years, she stole from me and cheated on me. She is from Russia. It was hell on earth, her and her mother in law made my life hell
Nothing like being invited to a steak dinner only to realize YOU are the steak.
Or you think it's only you and her and 386538 more people show up to eat too. As you are EXPECTED TO PAY THE BILL
That's not what this was. She is naive, and so are most Filipinos. But she wasn't trying to take from him. This was most likely a good girl. She just didn't know how to be with a foreigner.
In the provinces, the girl's family has to save to send her to college. She most likely is a virgin because family stops paying for college once she takes on a man. I want a girl just like her. When it comes to foreigners, Filipinas have a Disney picture of romance. That's what this girl did. It is sweet. A wise man recognizes this and accepts the sweetness without leading her on. When she said she loved him, his response should have been, "That's so sweet" It gives no commitment but still affirms her. Then he can spend more time with her to see if she truly is a good girl. Most likely she is. Province girls are the best in the world. They are not filled with the feminist crap of the West.
...and here I thought he woke up in a ditch missing a kidney or two 🙄
@@giosuegenovese313You got that right.
@@puppyupper4565She’s desperate to escape poverty.
Listen ya’ll - I live in PH, plenty of dating experience here. Just because a pure & inexperienced girl here becomes “IN LOVE” on the first date or shortly thereafter does not always mean she’s desperate for a foreigner or trying to get in your wallet. Some simply don’t have much experience with dating & relationships or handling their emotions and get just swept up into the first waves of infatuation hard, as any young heart could. Let’s hope you are a well intentioned gentleman who isn’t out to break innocent hearts - because yes, sometimes you can find them here. And when you do, take care of them or be honest and go on your way before hurting one of the rare good ones left
To be honest some guys just want to get laid. In the Phils that is rare for woman. Unless she is selling it.
well said, I am from Cebu
Excellent!!!
I've been here a while and had quick "I love you" stories as well. What some Filipinas have told me when I tell those stories is kinda of this. Not much experience and the kind of experience they do have is like US middle schoool or high school level relationships from what they described to me. There can also be limited options in their area depending on where they live.
Also tgey can be quicker to say it to a foreigner because of various media they see where in a movie it's said so soon in a rom-com and they think that is what the foreigner expects.
Single moms were also quicker on it as well, probably hoping for the upgrade. Some scammers too, though. Just go slow, don't fall for a love bomb even if the girl is genuine. While it's bad enough when it's from someone wantung to take advantage of you, it might be an actually emtionally inexperienced girl. They just might not understand the weight of those words to someone with experience and bad past relationships. And this doesn't just mean those of young age. I've met a good number of older but emtionally immature ladies. If they are not willing to slow down, the higher chance of scammer, of them being emtionally immuture or highly just desperate.
And understand unless they have their own nice place, they are usually incredibly ready to move in with you. Living arrangements can be very fluid for most regular Filipinos so it's not really a sign of commitment on their part like it is in the West. No matter where you are in the world, or who you date, fall in love if you dare but always use your brain before your heart when making decisions in those early days of bliss. You don't truly know them or the family until time has passed and you've shared hardships/mishaps together.
Hello from tacloban.. this happens everyday in the Philippines.. just remember dating is difficult but well worth it..
I have lived out here for 35 years now. Married a Filipina 28 years ago. If you're new out here, do not fall into the trap of thinking you're on a different planet. You aren't. If any Filipina says she loves you within an hour of meeting you, be very careful. Use your brain. The fact is that many are looking for someone to support them financially and that alone is not grounds to walk into that situation. Do your due diligence and don't get caught out.
I had something like that happen here in the US. I was riding my bicycle through this park and passed this young mexican woman. She said that she loved me as I was riding past her. My thoughts on this was 'Uhm ,Ok?!?'
It's funny how you see all these successful stories in the comments.
I have been to the Philippines quite a few times, and I am from southern California (san diego) where there are the most filipinos outside the Philippines than any part of the world and I have heard/seen many more horror stories than I have successful ones.
@emuhill I'm Argentinean, n if Mexicans r like us in that sense, which prob they r, is just like a funny way to say that she likes u, a lot 😅 she was diggin u bro. Too late, now u know for the next one haha 🤜🤛
Not true....
I went to the Philippines a handful of years ago. The right looking pinoy woman is in the top five in the world I'm attracted to. I also got the VIP/ famous treatment. I loved it. A lot of them try to settle down in their young twenties due to the culture.
Pick the puppy that picks you. Means don't chase, just greet the ones you pass by and keep moving. Wait for one to follow you. The puppy that picked you.
Good advance. That's how I actually picked my cat too when I went to the animal shelter.
@@Ekam-Sat Good comment, you gave me a laugh, thanks. 😀
@@countryman5329 Thank you man. We need more humor. Blessings!!!
@Ekam-Sat Haha, yes, very good indeed. I hope others have picked up on it, too. Dry humour like that is becoming rare as an honest politician! Let me know when you come up with another cracker 🎉😄
If a Filipina (especially in the province) invites you to her home to meet her family, then she probably has serious intentions for you. Do not accept her invite if you are not ready for "I love you" or talk about marriage. If you want more time to get to know her, then offer to meet her in a nearby city instead. Some may consider it an embarrassment to have a foreign man come visit the family without making any commitment.
The reality is that is not real life. The girl has fantastical thinking and are behind when it comes to being mature. After the honeymoon period, the new sex, real life sets in and real life bills, problems etc. This is why most relationships do not last long term. Remember, most of the time your upgrading her life and not the other way around. Money and Love go together but there also two different things. Best advice, take it slow, your on tropical time.
Same all over Asia.. Women think, no one is perfect, and love will come in time with comfort and closeness. So they can commit quickly if you seem a good provider and serious, and want kids.
@@michaelchristophergutierre7244western relationships don't last long, dude. It's different.
In the provinces inviting someone out for a casual date was often difficult, especially in a conservative small town awash with gossip. Also many young women were hesitant. I had the perfect answer to this. I would invite them and say something like if they wanted to, they could bring along one of their lady friends for company, BUT ONLY ONE (this MUST be stipulated).
The beauty of all this is a pair of young ladies doesn’t look like a romantic commitment. It can be sold to relatives as doing their national duty by showing a tourist the sights (mentioning cathedral instead of nightclubs, etc). One might say: wouldn’t that risk having her mother or sister turn up as the company? Never happened that way … it was invariably a lady friend roughly the same age.
Okay, I paid for an extra dinner, but I never had a bad time. Spoiler alert: I eventually married the friend of the young woman I took out to dinner … and she never forgave her either … but that’s another story !
@@penguinvic9892 it's not sold to relatives as something else. The rule is you can meet men if you bring a brother or sister, but in a pinch a friend is fine
I was fortunate in having spent months with my Filipina online and having come to genuinely love her before making my first visit to the Philippines. The love was genuinely mutual and we married at my second visit a couple of months after my first visit. We are still married today.
I’m doing the same had many doubts at first. Just getting to know her first then visiting in a few months.
@@Darrynkeith26hey buddy I hope you're not going there to meet the same one I'm speaking to! Lol
@Darrynkeith26 right. Same idea here. As with the guys she's been with before us as well as the ones she'll be with after us.
@@dixee6498 🤣😂 I hope not either I’m going to Pagadian City 😂
@@dixee6498 I’m really hoping not! Hoping she’s the one but hey there’s a million plus beautiful women there so we good regardless lol 😂
She gave herself to you. Every guy should be so lucky. You were afraid to commit to the special gift. There's millions of lonely men who would love to be given such a beautiful gift as this.
So how about when she mentioned she was chatting with other guys? You meet a person who falls in love with you after 1 hour? Without knowing anything about you? Or you about her?
Real life doesn't work like that.
@@faster6329
When you are full, you will refuse honey, but when you are hungry, even bitter food tastes sweet. Proverbs 27:7
Your comment is not rational.
I’m a Filipina. Born and raised in Philippines. Lived in both Canada and United States for over 20 yrs and counting. Just letting you foreign men know that most Filipinas in the provinces (or anyone who might not be in the upper economic class) look at a foreign guy and thinks they are handsome. There’s also the economic aspect of landing an American or whoever from the west, seeing it as an opportunity to get out of the situation back home & have a better life.
I’m married to an American but we met and dated and married in Canada and the US. I don’t think all white dudes or foreigners are automatically “handsome”. I knew before marrying my hubby that he’s not financially loaded but we are both educated and have professional jobs.
Just be cautious of scams etc. oftentimes I can’t blame the locals but I’ve seen and heard enough divorces here in a Filipino-foreigner marriage. And what’s with those older guys that marry girls half their ages and look like they’re 12? 😳 The men look like pedophiles. It’s just not right.
There's something called age of consent, if that is not infringed, whom older men want to be with is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. In the West today, people don't see anything wrong with 3y/o kids attending drag-queen shows with their parents, but Hell breaks loose when a man is attracted to a woman who may be or may look much younger...
oo tama kahit di gaano mayaman pero yung magkaroon ka ng anak na mestiza mestizo ay culturally valued high eversince colonization began in the Ph.
@@AdamSahr-cj4kf absolutely not anyone’s business but that doesn’t stop a person from having strong opinions against the ridiculous May December couplings where it’s obvious that if not for economic benefits, the old as dirt foreign person doesn’t stand a chance to someone young enough to be their grandkid.
@@marissacarpenter2252 Do they state their opinions when children as young as 3 are diagnosed as having been born in the wrong body?! It is this kind of hypocrisy that made me become less harsh on older men living their foolish but not illegal fantasies...
You can't blame the Filipina, when the men are not there for the best motivations either. They want love romance and beauty, etc, without putting in any effort other than picking up the tab. Like attracts like.
I have been married 23 years to a Filipina and I totally agree but I will say that My wife and in-laws were the best . But be careful many Filipina that are poor only see the money. My father in law was the most hard working man I ever knew and he was such an inspiration to me .
Yep...all about the $$$money$$$!
@@jl909-nr5vx When you don't have hard stats, "many" is relative and in this case can be a very unfair statement to make. My take in regards to poor Filipinas in the Philipines is that most probably, 'few" is more accurate than "many". Having said that, I would also say that "all about money" is not particular to Filipinas only. Everywhere in the world, including the US, there are women (or even men) who are "all about the money" in a relationship. The difference is that poor women who are "all about the money" are motivated by survival instincts or by a natural-desire-for-a-good-life while those who are not poor (in the US or other wealthy countries) who are "all about the money" are motivated by greed! The former is understandable and could be acceptable while the latter is malicious and unforgivable.
My Filipino wife and I have been married for over 20 years, her family is great and most of them live here in the states, we visited her family in the Philippines in 2020 and stayed in a small fishing village and in Manila, the people were all so nice and despite the poverty there everyone seemed so happy and kind, we will go back in a couple of years and possibly spend some time in Thailand as we both love Thai food and culture, such beautiful people and land if not for my family here I’d move there in a heart beat.
Yep as always you gotta find one thats good enough. Just easier there than here. But you still need to find one. Too many fakes.
Should you find one there or online?
Trophy boyfriend?? My wife did the I love u in the first 7 days LDR via Skype,,we still laugh about it..We met a year after we started our LDR in Cebu,,now 9 years later after our first message,she has her Citizenship here in the US,and she is the most amazing woman I have ever known and we are looking forward to our permanent move back to Cebu,so ya know the first day I Love You can sometimes work out..
Very cute. We have a similar story except we are still waiting for her interview. DQ and ready. So excited for my wife and son to see their home in the US. After so long in waiting for the process to finish.
That was a nice story until the "citizenship in the US" part 🙈
I am very happy for you. Glad it worked out. Life here in the US is so much better in many ways but the Philippines has an appeal which the US does not have. When the time is right my Filipina wife and I will move to the Philippines. She, also, is from the Cebu province.
Excellent story! I’d say keep everything in context understanding her point of view. I would have simple said I love you too! If you like her and she is attractive to you! It does not mean I love you right now…it means there is the potential that I will love you! Sadly her heart was shattered because the misunderstanding of “I love you”…
@@ScorpionSuertedid you miss out on the planning to go back to live in the Philippines part? The green card was not the end goal. You fell short.
THE NEW FAMILY ATM HAS ARRIVED 😂
Dude isn't even that rich
"I love you"
You should have said
"No, you don't. But we have excitement & a possibility for something good. Love takes time & patience."
If you want traditional, this is it. Traditionally, dating wasn't a thing, even in the US. Courting was but it's way different. In a traditional relationship, you are headed to the alter and there's no messing around. If you want lots of girlfriends and fun, RUN! If you're looking for that traditional virgin province girl wife,, roll with it. This experience could be the start of something very special. This happened to me and It worked out great. I was her first date, boyfriend and everything else and her family is good to me and doesn't ask for money. Just don't fall for the scammers or be a simp.
Yeah, the name Chad should be a clue that this dude fancies himself a chick boy, and he should have pointed this out explicitly in the chat, that he is only looking to meet people. A mature man knows what he wants and goes for it when he sees it. Probably best that many Filipinas prefer a man older than her. My wife asked me right up front what I was looking for, I told her the truth, that I was looking for a wife. Same story as you from then on.
Correct
if you talk to some grandparents who married in the 1940s or 5s its not uncommon to hear they married after like 6 days
How do you meet these type of girls? I guess you have to just go there and travel around.
Are you sending money without being asked? Is your wife sending money?
My wife is from Leyte and is good looking and is a good cook and house-keeper. She has a university degree and a good job now.
Amd, what do you add to the relationship?
Nothing, just stained white XXXL white brief for her to wash by hands and perhaps a dash of racist misogyny 😂
And housekeeper lol. What are you bringing to the party lol
😂😂
An foreign boyfriend or husband is like winning the Lottery!!!
Thank you for the video . I was very informed. I went to the Philippines in March of 2024. I met my girlfriend and now she is my fiance. I've been chatting for 5 years. I am from the US. I met her the whole family. Everyone, please be careful.
Having been in that situation many times, it’s very simple, but not easy. “To thine own self be true”. Be true to yourself no matter what culture your in. It’s ok to be open minded but never let go of who you are and what you want out of life. Especially in all of SE Asia, not just the Phillipines, have a mindset of abundance because that’s truly what exists. Also, the ability to say “no” no matter the feelings of the female is critical. Complying, acquiescing, magical thinking never work. I know many guys who have ruined their lives by complying and going along with things when it didn’t feel good. The price is your freedom and happiness. I trust myself 100% to handle any situation and that gives clarity and confidence. I don’t abandon myself. I love myself and treat myself accordingly.
My wife is from northern Leyte and her sister is from Naval and your 100% correct in your assessment of everything moving fast in the initial “dating” aspect of meeting a filipina.Although like you said there is no dating going on and meeting a western guy and not knowing how to process our normal experience in what they should do or say to us to express their feelings is a tall task for simple minded province girls. Not really fair for them and a bit overwhelming I’m sure because they want to improve their lives and I’m sure have dreamed of marrying a foreigner but don’t know the proper way to act or play the dating game so to speak. My wife said she loved me on my first visit to meet her and it was overwhelming to me as well but I understood her feelings and where she was coming from since she had never been in a relationship and never dated in her lifetime and she was already in early 30’s.No way can you love someone so quickly and that’s where we as westerners should have an understanding of before we totally reject the province girl for saying I love you” too quickly.👍
love to tampo within hours...lol
@@joepaquet4332 my wife’s tampo is not too bad, after 6 years married it’s much better than being with my ex American wife!👍
Thanks for sharing that I appreciate it, yeah it's definitely different over here but it just takes understanding it more
I want to point out also that not all filipina are like that. Some are aggressive for several reasons like what you mentioned but there are also a lot of single women that are shy & traditional. It depends where you go either in the province, the small barangays & in the city where women are more modern & sofisticated. Like the saying goes, buyers be ware!
I always thought of it more like "I love the idea of us in my mind" not actually I love you. As long as you seem like a decent guy and are foreigner which means at least wealthier than most there. Then that makes her fall in love with the idea of the two of you together. I just lower its significance as almost a translation error. That way it never bothered me and it also didn't make it mean more than what it does for them either . It definitely isn't the western version of the phrase.
You’re absolutely 100% correct. You have to be upfront, honest and respectful of explaining to a Filipina of how you feel about the relationship.
thanks for showing us the area while talking and not just sitting in a couch, I apreciate it,, very nice
FYI: Hook up culture is not a thing or common in the Philippines. It remains very conservative and religious.I’ll be straight to the point. Religion is a way of life. So premarital sex is discouraged. Women still aspires purity and virginity til after marriage. I know that is not the reality but in the provinces, that remains to be the main goal of a Filipina. A Filipina’s dream is to marry her first boyfriend. I know premarital sex happens but it is never discussed openly. It will be assumed that the couple being bf/gf does not engage in premarital sex. My sister and her boyfriend were together for 7-8 years before they got married. But every time her BF visits her and stays for the night at our house (he’s from another province), they don’t sleep in the same room. This is the reason why once a girl got pregnant, they automatically get married before her pregnancy becomes obvious. Parents of both sides are involve in this. Relationship normally starts through a third party. A common friend introduces the guy to the girl. Dates starts with group dates. If both are into each other, then the dates starts to progress to just both of them. If relationship started online, just like in his story, the getting to know phase is the chatting online. Once the girl decided to meet up, oftentimes you are the “chosen one” because there are others too that she entertains online. The girl in your story is 28. So she is not just looking to date and date and then choose. She is looking for a husband already, not just boyfriend. So don’t take that as the girl trying to trap you. Rarely, no Filipina will meet up with a guy just by herself. Usually they have a chaperone (a friend) with them especially on first date.
Lol totally delusional if you think so. We younger generation use Tinder a lot in Philippines and it's ripe with many girls on there looking for a good time. They are very very easy to find.
Hey everyone this is the most accurate comments that you can get regarding the subject matter, the original mindset of not allowing pre-marital sex is king, do you guys want to marry a girl who was already soiled by other man? Philippine culture evolved from this mindset, unless you want to settle for less
Naive. lol
You just literally described me. I was born in the city and moved to a province when I was 8. I'm 25 years old, never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed and never been touched. And I'm not the only person I know who are like me. Filipina women in the province can be very traditional/conservative.
I'm also hoping to marry my first ever boyfriend. Playing around is not something that comes to my mind
@@jl909-nr5vxIt' s not naivety. It' s the reality here in the Ph. I'm literally just like the op described
When I was stationed at Subic Bay, I watched those sailors get off the ship, get a bar girl, fall in love, and be ready to get married in less than 72 hours. Most of those guys had zero luck with women back in the US. They get to the Philippines and get love bombed by a pretty girl and they lose their mind. It is understandable why it happens, even with the bar girls.
Seeing a province girl is a totally different game. There is no dating for fun. And most dates will be accompanied by a family member. They date with a purpose and they don’t waste time. If your a foreigner, they know you are the ultimate best option for what they are looking for, which is security. The local guys in the province are no competition as far as the girl is concerned.
Yes! If she is truly a traditional Filipina will expect a courtship that goes through various stages. She won't be in a hurry and will vet you carefully. If it happens too fast "with a purpose" it shows desperation and possible future problems. True courting starts with simple introductions, general observations, and questions to get to know her. That alone could take weeks while she observes your behavior and true intentions. This is followed by some intentional flirting, and some gift giving with an emphasis on thoughtfulness (like knowing her favorite color or candy). Then you should expect to ask her father if it is okay for you to formally court her. With her father's blessings, you would begin with chaperoned meetings. It would typically be expected that you be actual finances before you would even be able to see her alone. And this is all good! This gives you plenty of time to get to know both your Filipina and her family, so that know what you're getting yourself into.
The way to get around the family member accompanying you (and what’s worse, having to pay for them, too), is simply when asking a slightly hesitant young Filipina out to say a meal, is to tell her she may bring one of her lady friends along for company (but ONLY one !!).
Trust me, they would prefer a friend than a family member. Every young lady in S.E. Asia I put this to accepted this deal, and NONE ever suggested a family member. So how is this different? … well for starters she’ll act more naturally around her friend. And often her friend will be on your side, too !! (You’d be surprised how pleased many of these friends were to be invited, too)
Spoiler alert! I eventually married the friend who came along to keep her friend company … and she was NEVER forgiven for it (but that’s another story).
So don’t take your advice then ? 😂😂
@@PhilipUnderwood-oy9tv They're are plenty of married passport bros, just ask.
Sounds like the song 'love the one you're with'
...."if you can't be with the one you, then love the one you're with....do do do do do do do do, etc."
Thanks for all the lessons now. Coud have used this info 50 years ago .😊 Some of the best times of my life!
She doesn't want you!, she wants your wealth. Big difference.
And there he is, trying to make wealth in the PI through YT video. Both sides should be careful with each other.
She, and her family lost face when you left suddenly... Imagine her next few weeks, having to explain her failure...
Visiting her family in the province is the final commitment to a long term relationship with her and her family... Very embarrassing for her... Anyway these are the cultural differences that we stumble upon...
Could have been handled more skillfully and diplomatically. After all there was - apparently - no scam involved.
You also didn’t commit to something that could have become regretful in the future.
The moral of the story is before you try to date from a different country study their culture first.😊 nobody needs a culture shock on either side😮
That was a great reply! If you want U.S.A. style relationships, you are better off dating in the U.S.A. Dating abroad isn't for everyone.
The moral of the story is...hold on to your wallet!
@@jl909-nr5vx Leave your wallet at home
Long distance relationship is cool, but I'm not sending money to a woman until I see her in person. To make sure it's not a scam
A friend of mine talked to a Filipina online for 3 years before they met. He flew over there and they decided to get married. He returned to America, and again the the Philippines six months later to marry her. He returned to the States and waited a year before she finally came over. After a couple years, she took her citizenship test and they’re still married. They’re older though. This all happened in their late 40’s into their mid 50’s. Her name is Jovie, she’s college educated and really cool. It was a great outcome.
Hello Sir i'm a Filipina, from Tacloban just a mile away from Naval and it happen i saw your vlogs. Based on the way i see it, it is still best to get to know that person more or whoever you meet in the foture, especially if you want to marry a filipina and settle down. Individual differences matter, because it's a lifetime commitment. There should be love and the authenticity of both sides. Stay safe, happy and God bless
Is so hard to find educated and not poor filipina , like lawyer, doctor etc
im gonna meet a girl from tacloban!
@@moreto62 Those women get the top 20% of local men and can be found in the upper social circles. They probably not looking for foreign partners.
@@monhwan No they dont, and yes they are, Ive dated plenty of them.
@@nielsei No youre not cause I already met them all!
A man from a richer country is always a meal ticket to a woman from a poorer country. This is immutable.
Men want a much younger woman. The woman wants his American money
Would you look at this fool? So full of himself. These women have been fighting their own life battles long before pompous westerners who think highly of themselves came to wreak havoc in their lives. These "poor" women do not need you. They've survived harsh living condition without men like you and is still surviving.
Only a real fool would allow another to make a fool of him. If you are using money to get these women, then maybe you are indeed a "meal ticket", as you intended yourself to be. Think about that.
I am a Filipino woman professional, financially independent and married to a foreigner.
@user-zv6sx3rx3o Hello there. I'm a western man, late '50's and know very little about the Philippines, having never visited. Videos like this just pop into my feed occasionally. You are obviously successful and in an equal relationship, I just wondered if you think that is generally so with westerner/philipinas? Best regards
American women always want a meal ticket no matter how much money they have earned on their own.
You're not marrying her you're marrying the whole family. Very dangerous thing to do, for a foreigner.
In 43 years, we probably average $200 a year sent back to her family. She wanted and got a job, learned to drive, and I had her pay the bills for 6 months to see what life costs.
Same any marriage
Man I swear thanks for sharing! I watched about 25 different videos and multiple channels just to find something close to what I was going through. I had many doubts at first with the woman I’m talking to. I couldn’t understand the cultural difference at first. Though I was being scammed. The way you broke it down it made total sense why she was acting like that. I’ve been talking for 6 months I’m finally going to visit in November. So thanks for sharing.
There are a lot of pretty, nice girls over there that don't think so much of themselves, they are humble, down to earth, and just lonely like anyone else can be. They want to be married, they want to have a family, and they just want to be appreciated by someone for who they are.
If I was thay guy in the story I'd be in trouble. Sitting I. The village with like 10 kids
@@GandalftheWise I can certainly see the appeal in going native, but only if I were filthy stinking rich. So from my perspective, the people are great, but the environment sucks. So why not have the best of both worlds? Now if I were to retire, my retirement income would be about $7,000 per month. Filthy stinking rich ... in the Philippines. But also enough to retire middle class in Texas as well, especially considering by then my wife will be working as well. And thats the other thing you have to factor in, What are a girls career possibilities post 40 years old in the USA vs post 40 years old in the Philippines, and if you care about your girl and care about your kids, you really dont want them stuck over there all by themselves after you are gone? Dude the Philippines is a nice place but its also one catastrophe away from disaster at any given time, whether thats a typhoon, a volcano, or a war and all you have to do is look at the historical record and ask yourself, what kind of crap has happened to the Philippines in the last 50 years (let make it easy for you, and start with Pinatubo and marshal law, just for starters) and what are the odds that something of this magnitude is going to affect my wife and kids over the next 50 years if I plant them there and leave them there? Now heres the thing a lot of people dont think about .. the wife was always part of the retirement plan, and me for hers. Follow your heart is one thing but this is the thing that made it make absolute sense logically. So its like a double whammy, head and heart aligned. The kids were an unintended benefit. I wanted kids. Give me a chance to breed a pretty little Filipina girl of my own and Im like hell yea. And one of best looking guys I ever saw in my life was a half breed Filipino white guy. So I got a son and a daughter and they are both really good looking kids! The kids also boost your social security retirement if they are minor dependents while you are collecting retirement benefits. I got 13 years of boosted social security after I retire so that lasts me until 78 and I'll be lucky if I'm still alive then. The wife will be working, the house will be paid off. So hopefully she will be fine. She loses the social security by then until shes 60 but my pension is set up so she benefits for HER life. Kids will be old enough to help if she really needs it. So maybe I got lucky because my job exposed me to the Philippines and maybe I got lucky because my career allows me to take care of a family by myself (barely sometimes) but I think I really got lucky because I was able to capitalize on the sweet spot of being exposed to the Philippines at 50, not 62 or 65 and getting married and start having more kids at 55. So thats my advice to people, but only because it worked for me. Go over there at 50 and start hunting. Marry a girl by 55 who can have kids and want kids. Want kids yourself. Bring her home. Make sure shes a GOOD girl. Have a wonderful time being happy and in love and sharing your beautiful children together and enjoy as a man the wife you always wanted, and save yourself early from this f***d up retirement situation most older divorced men have found themselves in, before its too late to course correction and you find yourself there at 62 or 65 with only a couple thousand a month in retirement with NO choices but to stay there and not do anything good for the world except slow the burn into poverty and death for one girl over there.
@@Electrichead64 thank you for the reply. My time in the Army exposed me to foreign women, but aren't you worried they will change when ypu bring them back?
@@GandalftheWise its not her that you have to worry about her changing or not changing. Its about you changing. Its a transformative process that you have to go through as a human in order to find, hook, and keep a good filipina. But she has to be good to begin with, too.
My wife and I talk about this all the time, and one thing you will discover is that you CANNOT keep Filipinas from networking. This is just what they do. They will naturally gravitate towards each other. They will find each other on Facebook. You can be walking through Costco and there can be a Filipina 75 yards away and they wont know each other but they will be magnets to each other and become friends.
You jsut gotta hope she picks good friends. Fortunately, we have good friends. There are about 15 Fil-Am couples in my small town of 250,000 people that we personally know that have been together for years and decades and are perfectly happy. Age gap, not age gap, black, white, doesnt matter .. the ONE thing they all have in common is this is kind of a Christian fellowship group.
Her two best friends are filipinas in fil am relationships .. well one IS a filipino but hes been here in the US for 20 years and this is his second marriage and his first wife was a fillipina that brought HIM over. His second wife is a girl from the provinces. Shes fresh off the farm, so to speak. So my wife and her get a long real well and our kids are friends with their kids.
Second couple has kids too but shes married to an american and hes not quite as old as I am but a bit older and they met when she was actually OFW in the middle east. Long story but he was over there for a while too for something.
The Flips that are in California, well theres a reason why they have that nickname. For one, California by nature distorts reality and makes people really selfish and possessive and there seems to be a big difference between a Natural Born Filipina and a Second of Third Generation Filipina that grew up in the US.
Lots of single moms in Phils...and lack of morals (obviously)!
I talk to my girl for year before we met. And I wouldnt put a label on us. (Boyfriend/girlfriend) until we met.
Well after 3 years I'm getting married.
Guys don't be rushing! Take your time. So many beautiful Fhilipnas there!
Exactly take your time to merry and take time to Not have sex either.
Hello, I am a Filipino lady, 23 years in Canada, divorced because my husband found a young woman in Cuba and I took care of him in 15 years because of the health problems. But I accepted what he did to me. We meet in the Philippines by the recommendation of my aunt, but we wrote and call each other in 1 and 1/2 years before he came to the Philippines.
My point, your situation in the Philippines are different from the other people, you cannot tell your destiny, and you can't say that all the woman's are the same, it depends the woman, even the man here in Canada, I had an experienced in the dating site, he wants to come in my home, I said we meet in the restaurant. What the heck this man and he knows my place and I did not open the door because I didn't know him. I blocked him so that he will stop bagging me. In my opinion we cannot judge all the man, woman, it depends their character, if they have delikadesa, means that they are reckless not thinking, or no respect to the other people. I hope that you know what I mean. Good luck to your journey in the Philippines.
Thank you, young sir, for discussing this delicate matter with great tact and sensitivity. You are right when you noted the desperation of many young and economically challenged women in my country (whether from the province or the city) who throw themselves into the arms of male foreigners, just so they could escape the hole they are in. This is not to denigrate your personal charms. But the belief that foreigners who can afford to travel must have some money, still persists, sadly. Well, at least you did not end up with a pretty angel who would drop something to your drink then proceed to rob you while you are out cold leaving only your underwear, or your life. Actually you did have a fun adventure and a good story!
Happened to me too.
Even the neighbors children gathered out side her house after we went inside
then stop going to small rural towns. Most people there are ignorant. They're not the fucking representation of us. Disgusting!
Me too and still to this day every time we go back to the province it’s the same!!
These province girls all know they might only ever get one shot at a life changing relationship with a foreigner. It’s understandable they might feel a little desperate to move quickly
You dodged a bullet !
You were 2 things to her ;
1) A ticket outta there
2) an ATM
@@Dutchy-1168 bullshit, you are a stable life to a woman, just as any woman anywhere expect from a men
@@Dutchy-1168 Yes and !? well, that's every man in every marriage
$$$LOTTERY!
I don't know if where do these guys go, but not all Filipinas are after your wallet. Ffs, we're just humans just like you. I'm aware that there are some gold diggers here (just like in Western countries) but I don't think that's the majority of us. Disgusting.
My filipina wife and I married over 28 years, 2 children and still very much in love and respect. She is from Naval also. However, we wrote letters for one year before our first meeting in 1994. We married in 1996. Pretty much an old fashioned relationship. She is a wonderful lady.
As someone who's been living in Southeast Asia for 12 years, I knew where you were going with this story before you started. Thanks for sharing bro. Very well said, and good advice.
Appreciate your openness & honesty discussing your experience and sharing it with us.
Thanks Chad !!
10 years full time in a very small province town... The 20-30 year old Filipina's are way more hip than ever before. Social media has changed the dynamics. Many are chatting with western men, but the ladies are being a lot more careful, and are not just throwing themselves at anyone. Just my point of view. To find a good match (for both) everyone has to put in the time and work.
Yeah good points I agree
Sounds to me like she told everyone that this was a lot farther along than it actually was and she was trying to force it to catch up.
If you're too old to be with this generation go find a more matured one near your age. Let young people enjoy each other
90 percent of guys online will never leave home , over 50 percent do not even have a passport , its a game for them , beware , ask to see the mans passport
@@youngandfree93show respect 😮you will regret that you didn't
My fiancee is a Filipina, we have been together over two years now,LDR,we met online, were friends first, then it just happened, I have visited a couple of times, everyone was very nice, I met her family and friends, she is the sweetest person,when I am together with her,I feel very comfortable with her,she doesn't make me feel uneasy or makes me nervous. She is truly an Angel
Its ok to say you love them. they are from another culture. Its expected to say I love you to them. If you don't play their game they may leave you and get disappointed and you may lose a good girl. Just don't take advantage of them or waste their time because they are in their prime of their youth
"I love you" in first week?? Run, be safe
If it's a Filipina, you will without a doubt hear her say I love you in the first week! GUARANTEED!! My Filipina fiance told me she loved me after three days and told me she would marry me after the first week. We talked for over a year before we met. I'm not wealthy at all. FYI she is retired and we're almost the same age
@@adamdavis4164 my wife did the same thing. And to be honest, even after a few days, I knew she was different than any of the women I'd ever known. She was sincere, serious and knew what she wanted in life. We had a long distance relationship for 4 years before we met in person and by that time we both knew each other pretty well. We've been married for 2 years now and life is great. She is a few years younger than me and has several kids in the high school ages. My kids are in their 20s. Together, our families have meshed as well as possible from across the world.
Boring story long, the women I have met in PI are more about real lives and the future than any American I know. They are not hindered by peer pressure and media to pick apart every little problem in a potential suitor. They are able to decide quickly if they would be willing to make a life with someone forever. Don't abuse this and destroy lives in a conquest. And don't expect these women to understand if you do that.
Ps- middle age women in the PI (35-50) are mature, hard-working and honest. They are loyal to a fault and you will never be sorry giving them a chance by getting to know them.
God bless!
You don't understand cultural gap i think
Filipina women can fall in love FAST. It doesn't always mean bad. Filipina women generally likes decent and respectful men and we're pretty vocal about what we feel, esp when it comes to love.
I need girl like that
If some foreigner had met her the previous week at the bus stop in her town, she would have given him the same tour and told him that she loves him too. I think the worst part of the awkwardness of your situation when she said "I love you" is the realization (probably you knew this in advance though) that you're nobody special to her and that she doesn't love you for who you are, only for what you potentially represent in changing her life. The relationship at this point is strictly transactional since you are interchangeable with any other foreigner.
Put God first. That’s what we did and are happily married to this day..She grew up in Samar and worked in Manila. We dated online, and the content of our subject? The Bible scriptures. First seek his righteous. I hope this testimony helps someone. BTW, we continue to put God first in everything we do some 11 years later and we are committed to surrendering everything to him.
I think you are overthinking this. Their culture is open and simple. She was just expressing a cultural understanding of love. It's not what you're assuming at all. All you had to say was that I love you too, as a gesture of affection, not as a declaration of love. You mistook her intentions, but you can't see through that meaning. What you did was shallow and mean. She didn't deserve your lack of understanding. Ultimately, all you had to say to her was that I loved you too. You never reciprocated her affection, and that was wrong. Next time, just say that I love you. You don't have to be in love to say that.
Were used to American culture where people just sleep together all the time with no strings attached and people are always playing games with each other constantly and everyone is highly paid and well fed but pretty miserable.
That is a very bad way to start a relationship, where two people use each other for sexual favors. If you want to bed, first be wed.
@@bobrolls3800 Thats why so many people in America are lonely and unhappy. Why road rage is so common and 1/3 of our population is on anti depressants. In America relationships are mostly just about using other people not about building families anymore.
Everyone’s highly paid?! Yeah right
@@bobrolls3800 Total nonsense, marrying someone you never had sex with underlines how much you value sex and likely directly speaks to your ability. Nothing is lost when adults have mutually satisfyingly sex. You do you, but the idea of marrying someone with out knowing them sexually has zero appeal. The stats do not show these relationships to last longer.
Imagine marrying someone, and then finding out they don't do oral. Or they don't wash very well.
A lot of sweeping generalizations here that tell me that you're just terrible at relationships. And apparently bad at financial planning if you think "everyone is highly paid" hahaha
Absolutely great advice! I’ve been married to my Asawa for 15 years. We met while I was living there for 4 years. We dated for 2 years before getting married. She had three kids I raised, we had two together and we are still very happy living in Texas. You sounded expressed it perfectly.
Thanks and good luck to All!
Sounds like you handled it well and came out financially unscathed. there's so many stories about those who don't.
My girl and I were introduced by my friend who is engaged to her sister. Good situation in a province. Helps that I didn't meet her online. We've talked for a few months and things are going great. Even though i haven't met her I can see that she has a bright, loving, and giving soul. Comes from the most traditional and conservative families
When I lived in Ukraine in 2009 I was about 32 and i met the cutest lil 18 year old but I didn't want to date her because I thought she was too young for me, but we had mutual friends and would see each other from time to time, she became more flirtatious and i decided I'd go on a date with her, to if she was really interested in me. On our first date she hugged me tightly, looked up at me like i was the most important man in the world and told me she thought she was falling in love with me. To me she seemed sincere, and I knew that if she was being sincere and I was interested then I'd better just go with it, so I told her I thought I was falling in love with her too because I knew that I had the potential to fall in love with her. We started dating, saw each other often, she was a very clever and sincere girl and we had a great relationship for 2 years until she went to study in the US for a year and it caused her her to go a bit crazy from the culture shock. But the main point is that just because a girl expresses feelings early on doesn't mean she's lying or manipulating you, and if you want to have a chance with her it's much better to go with it becasue women don't usually handle rejection well and it might be difficult for her to get back to that place in the relationship.
All very true.
"women dont handle rejections well." - while they can just throw us to trash.
@@machinized- Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned.
Nobody likes rejection, men or women.....and women get thrown in the trash as well. I dated a guy for 6 months and I had feelings for him as I thought he had for me. It was at this point he told me he loved me for the first time. I reciprocated and was happy. One week later he dumped for for someone else - a woman he had long been attracted to but who had turned him down multiple times. Until she knew he was happy in a relationship....then she crooked her little finger and he went running. They only lasted a weekend then she cheated on him with his boss, (he lost his job over it) his friends and work mates and her pregnant sisters bf .But having broken us up wasn't enough for this psycho.....I got silent phone calls, abusive phone calls etc for weeks after we broke up. She was a sadistic narcissist who wanted to rub it in that she had taken my man...well she broke him too. Weeks later he tried to come back and lied to me that it wasn't because of her....but his room mate had called me and told me the whole story. And how after their first weekend together she had disappeared and he couldn't find her. She was too busy shagging guys she had met through him. I wouldn't take him back but he kept trying for the next year........He never found a decent woman, I saw him advertising often online for a partner but none of them ever lasted. He was alone when he died of cancer in his 60's. @@machinized
Exactly! Handled like a mature man who knows how to be sensitive when around women. I would also add that not one time in your comment did you mention sex or romance with her-showing you're a class act.
Once they got pregnant they don't show affection to you anymore, they treat you bad.
This situation was a little bit more complicated because the girl had a diploma, which implied she's more intelligent and could give you interesting situations.
But the second she said "I love you" she betrayed herself
My policy for dating is to be UP FRONT, straight to the point and be honest with Filipinas from the get go. This means FIGHTING the urge to play the dating game we are dealt in the West. Meaning, stop playing the diplomatic route or acquiescing to a woman to get her attention and approval. In the WEST 95% of men are completely ignored by 95% of all women. Western men therefore are used to being ignored and used to having to play the game to try and get a girls attention.
In the East and Philippines its totally different as a western man is now the PRIZE or the one that ALL girls will want to associate with. Girls in the province are FAR more likely to jump at the chance to close the deal with you than a city girl. As you stated, province girls do not necessarily have the relational experience to know how to deal with a man yet.
This is why its so important to communicate UP FRONT your intentions to her and her family and friends as needed. I would RATHER I scare away more Filipina than get caught in the situation you described where it becomes awkward when they determine quickly you are the man they want and you are not ready for that level of commitment yet. They will get clingy and affectionate and begin to transfer their love for you to you so that you know they are ready to commit to a long term relationship with you.
Men need to take the LEAD in relationships and be CLEAR in their intentions. I usually only see inexperienced men do what you experienced and jump into things to fast because they are cute, beautiful, sexy, and things seem to just click and you connect so fast. You dont want to RUIN a possible chance at love. However, in ignoring being UP FRONT and DIRECT you actually have a far greater RISK of loosing them, as your video PROOVED, as when things got awkward everyone didn't feel good and the relationship never blossomed as it could have if open up from communication had been present.
Innocent naïve Province Filipinas are NOT the problem, its the MEN that are the problem. This video shows how a young naïve man who didn't control the relationship UP FRONT and didn't communicate directly for fear of loosing out made a bad decision to visit a Province girl in her HOME TERRATORY, which is a sign to a Province girl you are SERIOUS about her.
Never ever visit a Province girl in their provincial home because you will be culturally communicating to her, her family and friends that you are a serious suiter for marriage purposes. ONLY visit them if you have clearly communicated your intentions and the process you are following for dating and getting to know them. Make sure they ARE CLEAR as well and that you know what they want and are expecting. DONT PLAY DUMB and just go along with the process. STOP AND THINK with your BRAIN and not the other head or your heart as those two things will deceive you.
Men need to take RESPONSABILTY for the relationships they are engaging in. Unlike in the west were most men know that the WOMEN control 95% of the relationship and determine the relational rules, in the EAST a man MUST take on a more TRADITIONAL ROLE of being a Gentleman and a LEADER in relationships. This may require you get some training on how to be a gentleman and how to lead in a relationship if you have never done so or were never raised or taught these skills.
I was in an LDR for a year with my Filipina girlfriend before I finally met her in person. It took her about 6 weeks online and in video chats before she said I love you. When I met her the first time, we spent a week in Manila alone together before we travelled back to her province to meet her family. We have been in an LDR for 2.5 years and I have visited her three times for 9 weeks and we always spend a week alone together before we return to the province for a couple of weeks. I think it’s better for our relationship to spend some time alone. We haven’t married yet, but we are engaged.
Chump. Just my opinion
Congratulations. I hope it turns out to be a lifetime of happiness for you both.
@@williamgrissom1995 thanks
Don't listen to the idiot calling you a chump. I've been dating my Filipina fiance since December 2016. When I first met her family she told them don't ever ask me anything about money. She also told me don't be Facebook friends with any of her family and don't every discuss money with them without her knowing. She knows my family and talk with my brother and sister often. She is a nurse in the Philippines. One time on my visit I got sick since I am allergic to shrimp. She took me to the emergency room in the hospital she works and had me skip the line. I was treated by two of her doctor friends and was out of there in about 30 minutes. You will not find any American girl that compares to a Filipina when it comes to how they will treat you. I had to tell her to stop doing things for me because I felt so damn guilty. I even complained to my sister about it. My sister opinion on it was that's her culture they is nothing wrong with it. Well it's now 2024 and we're still together. I still have to tell her stop folding my clothes and pampering me all the time. In fact I started doing the same thing to her to show my appreciation. @@rolandmueller7218
my 5 cents: if she says "i love", I would respond "we are not long together yet. but I love you too - in my own secret way". Most of them do understand what that means (e.g. that you love being with her. or that you love her smile. or that you love her affection. or her hair. or whatsoever) and it gives you so many options for a great conversation or even more. Or less if things don't turn out to go the right way ...
I’m a Filipina and married to a foreigner. There’s no way I’d say I love you first. Be very careful.
Thanks for posting ,its crazy i had a similar experience happen to me in Colombia . The super fast pace from 0 to I love you caught me off Guard and i just had to be real and explain why . She was super nice and was from a super small finca town with never been outside of her city..Thanks for posting.. Next April Im coming to the Philippines Im super excited I cant wait ive pretty much covered all brazil and Colombia Im ready for a change in culture . Cheers to my fellow expats living our best life
I love the way that you have a walking or driving around talk. That way, it's getting extra interesting. I'll definitely watch more of your videos 🥰
Dude what a genuine and awesome video. Loved how you put it on a b real while you were driving in a province and cool story !
Hey I appreciate that I'm glad you liked it, better to have some things to look at rather than just a talking head 😆
Humbro from Louisiana to you cheers!!
I was very fortunate to not experience that type of initial meeting. My filapina was working in Hong Kong as an OFW. SO, WHEN I traveled there to meet her face to face it was just the rwo of us. The initial meet up was a bit awkward, but the trip was fantastic. When her contract ended she returned to the Philippines. I joined her there for a vacation. I met the family in the province on the mountain. I knew what to expect so it was a pleasant experience. Now six years and 2 kids later it just gets better.
She wants the Life-style, the man is interchangeable, any Foreigner will do.. She loved the feeling of telling the whole village and family of finding a guy and all the attention that comes with it..
you made the right choice to run for the hills...
Your experience exudes a lack of maturity. However, don't worry, we all go through trials and errors and learn from them. Your video will help many young men out there that women, culture, family, friends all play a role in dating and relationships.
Sorry Chad that had to be very tough. Agree you need to set boundaries and discuss the first meeting. Thanks for all your advice.
I swear you guys aren't getting the story here. A province Filipina isn't going to have a clue what you're talking about. Boundaries? You're talking gibberish. What they do understand is being corrected. That's how they learn your program. Time for the date to be over as soon as you're not enjoying it. Let her figure out out to fix it. When the texts start flying "No problem baby. Sure we see can see each other again." That tells her you will be patience with her. Next time there's a problem, the same treatment. In between she'll be doing nothing but reviewing every second with you, reviewing the tape with every friend and cousin on how she can improve her game. All you have to do is show her when you're not having fun the date is over.
If you have experience dating US women just do the same as they treated you. Kind you imagine a US woman telling you boundaries pre-first date? That's in one ear and out the other. A US woman shows you her boundaries as needed.
@MrWaterbugdesign I believe Chad handled that correctly, he has heart and u have been hurt from westernized females. So u treat these sweet Filipinas with no heart. Even crude.
So who needs training now! And date is over before it starts with ur crude as# methods!
I think ur from mid east where females are treated as second person worse than dogs!
U should write a book how to date and u will go broke!
That's been my limited experience. There's a couple ways to deal with it imo.
#1 You play the game. If she's saying "I love you" right away it's OK to say it back. People say they "love" their phone. The definition of "love" is all over the place. She's really saying "I love being with you", but if "I love you" is how she wants to define it, I can say the same and be honest. You can even reply "I love being with you too." That's honest. She get's to hear "love" so she's good. Now you can find out her name.
#2 You can do the awkward thing. She can get hurt and do her manipulation thing. The mistake imo is seeing this as a red flag big enough to end it. If you're 40+ and she's under 30 in the province you should be leading. That means teaching her how you want the relationship to work. I'd end the date pretty quick when she starts being a problem. After the texts start flying in I'd reassure her it's not a problem, sure I'd be happy to see you again. If a problem comes up, I end the date. Repeat. She's trying to land you, so you should be teaching her how to do it. If she's failing the same lesson more the 2 times she's unteachable and time to move on.
You're going to run into this over and over. At some point you're going to have to teach one of them to get on your plan. Otherwise what's the alternative? You wait until you run into a Filipina not really that into you so you have to chase her? Does that make any sense to anyone?
You're not in America. Stop treating province Filipinas like Western women. Yes, they love you for the life you can provide them. Nothing wrong with that. Let the puppy pick you. Then train the puppy.
Great advice
Well said ....
For sure. This was not a western I love you... there's so much hype around it in the West. She was sharing how she felt in that moment. If you would have played it out a few hours, she would have probably hated you too!
@@KM21255this is one of those times I wished CZcams had a quick emoji response like FB😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Excellent!
The only thing THEY see is a path out of poverty courtesy of you.
"It's a TRAP!"
One of the few videos I could actually recommend. Married my province girl but she never ever gave me a red flag warning.. Took a 8 month LDR (Covid) to finally meet her. The rest is history. Beyond grateful and happy.
I agree with this fact guys: when a filipina says "I love you" after only knowing her for a month and intimate only a few times, It is an empty saying. Just use your head. And flip it around to your experience in the west.When you had a girlfriend in college in the united states, did you hear I love you from her after just 3-4 weeks of dating her and being intimate with her just a few times??. Not hardly. Thats why filipina's are the BEST at voicing fake sentences that they have heard on TV and in Phillipine soap operas. Be careful , dont make a poor decision..
so your saying that she shouldnt feel anything for you after a month? if your dating someone for a month, what is the relationship? just to hang out? just to waste her time when she is really looking for love? really? you sound like a guy who just want to have fun without any committment to be made...stop dating and wasting these girls time and just stick to watching porn
She saw you as an “ATM Machine”, my man. Glad you got outta Dodge quick/fast and in a hurry.
🍻
Man, I was in the L.A. Café in Manila, this was insane! I wasn't even finished my beer order all of the sudden 7 Girls stoot around me, a strange man began to massage me.
I was totally overwhelmed from the sensory impressions.
Always aware that I am only a walking ATM for them.
I have lived in Asia for over 10 years. In Thailand Philippines Vietnam and Cambodia the sad truth is that these girls are simply not bought up on any concept of love. They are bought up to ensure they have enough to eat tomorrow and many are responsible to ensure the same for their families. As far as western men are concerned, for them we are just a way out of a poverty trap. It is a sad truth but it is ALWAYS the case. If you are aware of it and keep your feet on the ground and your heads out of the clouds it can be a win win, as they are fantastic women. But you are never any more than an ATM and that is just reality. You are not a Hansum Man or attractive. Most of these girls perception of love is nothing like it is in the west. It may grow to that after a time if you find a good one. To them it is about survival and security not love and romance and who can blame them.
I really appreciate you bringing your very personal experience’s to your channel for us to learn from. Thank you! It’s all a learning experience and enriches one’s life with many colorful stories! Peace ☮️
Theres a strong Catholic presence in Philippines. VERY family oriented. When a young woman gets pregnant out of wedlock the man is forced to take care of her and her child. If they have parents you are also expected to take care of them. Its a huge commitment. Do not "meet the family" unless you intend on marrying them.
Are you delusional so many single mothers in the Philippines nobody if forced to support any children just walk away like a dog. But foreigners are more likely to be held responsible. Especially if married. Get DNA test for sure
Cultural misunderstanding by him. Meeting a girl's family, in the province, is akin to a marriage proposal.
True. Once you meet the family. Its serious.
I think you did the right thing. It’s best to go slow and get to know each other. If you’re meant to be then you’re meant to be Don’t rush. It’s best to be on the safe, careful side than regret which is harder. I’m a Pilipina and my husband and I been together for 43 yrs. We’re both Pilipino.
Thanks for posting Chad, open and honest. So grateful that i met you and Chris randomly at a coffee place in IT Park on my first full day after arrival :-). Kudos to u and Chris.
Hey likewise pleasure meeting you thanks for tuning in and I hope all is great with you!
I was thrown for a loop in America at a job site when a few months into the contract a ton of the young single women started flirting very aggressively with me, turns out the lady that cut my P.O. checks leaked how much I was charging/make. For a province girl getting a westerner is likely the same as an American women getting a professional sports player or wealthy business owner. Not saying there is no attraction towards the dude in both cases however the prospect of improvement in lifestyle and security for themselves and future kids is deep rooted genetic programming not just a cultural thing.
It's more fun in the Philippines! You just have to roll with it and enjoy your time there. You were exactly right. They are congratulating her! Just enjoy feeling like a star while you are there and keep your head on straight. Good Video!
This is why you don’t go to the province. Invite her to where you are for a weekend. Because too much pressure on you
I have friends that have married or dated Asian women. One met, dated, and married a Filipina here in the states. She told him she knew loved him the moment she met him. They’ve been married almost 35 years and have 3 sons and a daughter. He told me these women fall in love very easily. I think they have their life story planned out before they meet a man. In their mind, whenever they meet, the man, it was fate. Of course there are scammers out there and you do have to have your wits about you while thinking with the bigger head. My Vietnamese ex girlfriend told me she knew she loved me the first time I kissed her good night. I asked her, how? She said, “… you had great breath. “ 😂
You can’t be talking to girls in the province if you’re not trying to take it that far. It’s not like the US where women talk to men they’re not interested in for no reason. They won’t even answer back if they don’t like you.
true, this guys making titles like this have no clue or idea and yet create these kinds of titles over and over...i was waiting for the "backfired, beware of this" moment...i didnt see it...all i saw was people wanting to see and meet you...something that western culture dont have or experience...this guy has been in the PH for a while now and still act like he dont know the culture when it comes to dating, especially in the province LOL
True fake story.
Nice video man, I love you on first day, that's crazy. I'll run
She thought you were rejecting her and that's why she got so upset I guess she figured she wasn't good enough for you and that she just couldn't believe that it was really going to happen and I guess she just got so disappointed
you don't visit someone in their village unless you are serious. Like 1950 in USA - - bringing a guy home to meet the family. Same in Thailand. The minute rice of relationships...
I’m a Filipina who lives here in US now for 14 yrs. She sounds desperate to marry a foreigner. Also sound childish. That’s not typical of a Filipina who has well intention to be the aggressive one “saying I love you” specially from provinces because I’m from there. Yes we don’t date, but we wait to get to know u before we marry.
U should also be upfront with her that u want to take it slow or get to know her first before u commit.
So true! I wish all these expat channels would stop giving relationship advice. They don't know the first thing about Filipino culture and only lead their subscribers into making terrible mistakes.
Not always true but it is up to you and God ❤Jesus loves you and so do I
The word "dating" was created to describe a process whereby one gets to know someone else before marriage and to take it slow in order to get to know a person first before committing.
Just about all single Filipinas will date as in go out to dinner etc, however what needs to be done is this … if she’s hesitant (and if she’s from the provinces or a conservative part of the country or from a conservative family, or a combination, chances are she will), it’s a great idea to suggest that she may invite one of her lady friends as well (but ONLY one, it’s important to stipulate this). Since this arrangement doesn’t sound all that romantic, it’s easily sold to family as doing her national bit for tourism and they would rather a friend than a family member.
I never had a bad double date like this, either. There were a couple of hilarious times when the original invitee tried to lose her friend, who stubbornly refused to disappear. I always made a point of telling the friend that they were most welcome to stay !!
This bit of double date strategy worked quite well for me all over S.E. Asia, whereas if I had made the invitation out to just the invitee, chances are I’d have been sitting by myself in a coffee shop late at night.
A friend along has the added advantage of conversation never lagging, too. It often makes your date feel more comfortable and is almost gossip proof in small provincial towns.
@@penguinvic9892 Disagree. You're bringing your Western mindset and expectations with you to the Philippines. A traditional Filipina will NOT go on a so-called "date" with anyone (especially a foreigner) - chaperoned or not - unless she's already known you for a while, and you're also known to her family. A chaperoned date is the equivalent of 2nd or 3rd base. It's a bad sign if she's over eager to break from her own customs. Stipulating a strict limitation on how many people she can bring to a date in advance is a mistake! You want her to be her natural self. If she brings too many people, this shows her opportunistic nature and let's you know if you should drop her. A more clever way of handling this situation is to simply ask her beforehand how many people she intends to bring along so that you'll be sure to bring enough money to pay the bill. If she say she's bringing two people, and it ends up being her entire family, well... that already tells you a lot about her character and what you can expect in the future, doesn't it? And if she openly tells you that she's going to bring her entire family to the first date, that also tells you what the future may hold.
The slow courtship/vetting process that a traditional Filipina will expect is as much of a benefit to the foreign suitor as it is the Filipina. It gives you a lot of time to vet and examine her. In time, she'll turn over all her cards and reveal her true self. It's far less expensive and traumatizing to be taken advantage of once or twice early on in the courtship, than to jump in headfirst and only later find out what kind of a person she really is. Of course, this also means that you're not going to be able to shag her within the first few "dates" as is common in the West. It will NOT be a try-before-you-buy situation. Actually, this is a good thing. It proves their is more to your relationship than sexual attraction.
Having said all of this, I know this is something most Americans will NEVER do. I always amazes me how soon a foreigner is willing to marry a Filipina compared to an American when he was back home in the states. In the states, he would wait months or years. But in the Philippines, a culture he knows little or nothing about, in a country where there is no divorce, he'll marry a local girl within weeks! He'll often cite all the time they spent "dating online" or engaging in a "long distance relationship" as proof of how well he knows her. Online dating and long-distance relationships are pure fantasy! In this regard, the Philippines is a fool's paradise! This is especially true when the suitor is a dirty old man, and the suitress is a desperate young Filipina looking for a way out of poverty.
"I love you". Who is "I" and "you"? What is love? 1) you can never fully know someone 2) the reason is there is the real you, and the shadow you. 3) if you dont know yourself, how can you love yourself? And if you cant love yourself, how can you love anyone else?
My advice: ditch "i love you", marriage, and all that nonsense. You will be much happier.
And yes...I dont love both sides of myself, Im a best friend/mentor to my true self. I like true self.
I married a Philippina. Brought her to the USA. Had 2 kids. Her family took me for about $15K. My phone bill (pre cellphone) was running $500 / month. After our second child, like someone threw a switch, she began openly sleeping around. Did not even try to hide it. Said it was 'her culture'.
I divorced her and raised my 2 toddler-age daughters myself. Yes this was a big, expensive life disaster but me and the kids survived and everyone is doing OK. But it wasn't easy and this could happen to you.
Filipino women especially in the province don’t understand the western culture that’s why it’s better to let them understand that the first meeting it doesn’t mean marriage right away or say I love you especially women in the province who never meet a foreigner before they are so proud to be with the good looking guys especially the foreigners with white skin and tall that’s why you got that kind of attention..
An informative video. Your experience reminded me of a province woman I was in contact with years ago. She was a pen pal and her expectations were far off at times. Let’s say she wanted marriage as soon as possible. Before I my maiden voyage to the Philippines I got in touch with a selection of Pinay friends and this particular woman kept pushing the “Do you love me?” narrative until I made the decision not to meet her in person. Ultimately she got jealous because I was to meet others without seeing her. However, I can imagined if I met her in person: there would’ve been a welcome committee of family, friends, extended family members, the local priest etc. interrogating me about the future and possibly marriage. I’m glad to have avoided a potentially awkward situation. Thanks for reminding me of what I avoided, Chad.
5:00 the whole swarming by family and associates, i wonder if the local men get jealous when some westerner shows up and their's all this fanfare
Good video. The number of likes and comments shows that you are the real deal, unlike scammers like Jasper in the Philippines.
Love the way you did the video showing different landscapes of the Phillipines while you're narrating.
There's a reason why many guys get married after a 2 week vacation in the Phillies. Careful guys, often it doesn't work out long-term. It is essential that you know a person personally for a while. Living together for at least 1 year is recommended. There are many quirks and cultural differences and you don't want to find out after you put a ring on her finger!
Back in the 1990s, I spent time in the Phils. I met several young ladies (18, 19, and 20 yr olds) who wanted to marry me after spending one hour with them. These girls were super cute and beautiful. I was in my mid to late 40s at that time. I didn't do it. They were much too young. I have to admit I did like the attention.
Great advise. I just got lucky ....my wife came to Canada and we met at a party. Got her number. I waited 2 weeks cause I was a happy bachelor and had to consider if I even wanted a crazy woman in my life. 😂 We went on our first date .....and she never went home. 15 years later we still laugh we're on our first date. She's been a gift from god. She got her citizenship on her own, she's a professional in the medical field. I tease her she's my sugar momma. But in 15 years we've only laughed, she's never nagged me about anything ever. Can you believe that ? Changed my life and I'm truly blessed. I pray every day that God doesn't figure out he's missing an angel. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 😊
@@diamond4829 life works in strange ways sometimes...................I have met a few couples who have created great relationships and marriages.........it was just meant to be and how great is that.
Are you slow? If a girl wants to marry a guy double her age after one hour, you think it was your personality? 😅@@smith1958b
We like to think in the 21st century that we are more evolved and better understanding of relationshi9ps than they were 100, 200, 500 years ago yet somehow our relationships last much shorter periods than theirs did. This long term dating, living together for 1 year or more before marriage is a modern invention of the west. The west is not doing so well in the area of relationships between men and women. I am not saying marry a girl after a week of knowing her but perhaps the western mindset is actually faulty.