10 Most Important Lessons About Friendships From a Therapist - Terri Cole
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- To celebrate turning 60 years old, I am sharing my top 10 lessons about six specific topics with you!
This first one is on everything I know to be true about successful friendships. My girlfriends are some of the most important people in my life, and that is not by luck. ❤️
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
0:20 - 1: Prioritize friendships
0:34 - 2: No jealous friends
0:54 - 3: Hype girls
1:15 - 4: Seek mutuality
1:40 - 5: Diverse friendships
1:55 - 6: Not all friendships last
2:02 - 7: Laugh with your friends
2:15 - 8: Nurture friendships
2:49 - 9: Effort is required
3:09 - 10: Good friendships are good for your health
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
• Struggle to Set Bounda... - How to Set Boundaries With Friends
• Female Friendships Can... - Female Friendships Can Be Complicated
• Good Friend or Frenemy... - Telling the Difference Between a Good Friend or a Frenemy
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
Instagram: terricole.com/ig
Community: terricole.com/fbg
TC's VIPs: terricole.com/membership
Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
Resources
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Insight Timer: insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
#friendshipadvice #friendships #lessonsoflife
Happy 60th birthday Terri! You are an amazing example of living well and with authenticity. You are loved and appreciated!!🎉
So sweet, thank youu 💕
Dear Terri, you are the epitome of class, confidence, feminity, beauty, elegance & intelligence. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead in this new chapter! I truly admire you, tons of love from a 29 y/o Nigerian student of this channel. xx
Thank you so, so much 💕
Dear Terri, Happy birthday! I just turned 58 this March, and I need to start all over again, as I went no-contact with my family last year. I hope I'll be mentally stable, just like you, when it's my 60th birthday. You're a very inspiring role model for me.
Thank you so much, Carmen ❤️ I have faith in you!
Happy Birthday, Terri! I hope you have an amazing day. 🎉
Thank youuu ❤️
Happy birthday!! Enjoy the day, Terri. You deserve it!
Thanks so much ❤️
Happy Birthday Beautiful Soul
You’re such a value to the world.
You’re are so appreciated
I hope you have an amazing and gorgeous day🎉❤
Thank you soo much, Angelika 💕
Happy Birthday 🎉from Uruguay
Thank you Gabriela ❤️
Just bought both your books for my birthday on the tenth😊
What an amazing gift to yourself ❤️ (and thank you for the support!) Enjoy!
🎈🌹 Happy birthday 🎈🌹 Terri ❤!!!
Wishing you the best of the BEST for another 60!!! With love, one of your huge fan...♥️
Thank youuu 💕
Thank you for these birthday gifts to us. Happy 60th birthday!
❤️❤️❤️
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TERRI!!! ❤🎉😊
Thank youuu ❤️
Happy 60th Birthday!!
I don't believe it, you look stunning which I love. So important to know older women that don't look their age, it's inspiring & motivating!!
Thank you, for the validating talk you are just what the Dr ordered. ❤
Thank you for the kind words, Dee ❤️ The title I had in mind for this little series was "This is 60!" because it's true, and I'd rather embrace it and own it.
Happy 60th Birthday Teri! ❤ thank you for this series
❤️❤️
Happy Birthday! 🥳🎂
Thaaaanks 💕
Happy birthday from France. Thank you for all that you do. So very much appreciated.❤
❤️❤️❤️
Happy Birthday Dear Terri!
Much love and well wishes from the UK 🎉❤
Thank youuu ❤️❤️
Happy Birthday Terri! Thank you SO MUCH for all you do. Have a GREAT SPECIAL BDay!!! 🎉
❤️❤️❤️
Happy 60th Terri!
Thank you, thank you 💕
Happy birthday Terri 🎉 Thank you for sharing those tips with us 🙏
You're so welcome, and thank you! ❤️
Yes❤all this! So grateful for my friends. And for you😊 Happy Happy Birthday Terri!! Enjoy your special day🎉🎈 🎁
Thank you, thank you, thank youu 💕
Happy 60th! As my Mother exclaimed in response to my dread approaching that number, "60 is young!!" And now, as I approach 70, "60 is young!!" And did you see Rita Moreno on The View recently, and on the red carpet for the Oscars!? She's 92 and seems in perfect health--walks well, her mind and spirit are all intact, and her wisdom in emotional health came out when, while on the red carpet replied to Kelly Riper's comment, "I'll be who I want to be!"
Maggie Smith, who turned 88 last year, was then a model for Loewe, and Helen Mirren, who was 78, looked stunning as a model for L'Oreal. Age really is just a number.
Thanks, Craig! I agree with you. I could go on and on about age for hours. The truth is, this is 60, and I'm gonna celebrate it! ❤️
Happy Birthday! And I really wish you'd do a series on how to look this amazing at 60. 🥰🥰🥰
Aww, thank you ❤️
💜 Happy Birthday Terri~🌸
I hope you prioritize yourself today 😉 and have an amazing day 🍰🍥☕💜and time!!!
Thank you! ❤️❤️
Happy birthday!!!!!! You've made my life so much better!
Thank you, Rebecca 💕
Thank you!❤
You're welcome 💕
Love this, thank you & happy birthday! ❤
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this
You're welcome!
Happy birthday!!!!
Thanks!
We share a birthday week🎉. Happy birthday and thank you for all you do for us❤
Woohoo, happy birthday to you, too! 💕
❤Happy Birthday ❤🎉
Thank youu ❤️
Happy birthday 💗🌺🎉🎊😊
Thank you! ❤️
Happy Birthday week... make it the month... you look fantastic. well done TC
My birthday celebration definitely lasts longer than a day, lol! Thank youuu 💕
Happy birthday
Thanks! ❤️
🎉 happy birthday Terry and thanks for doing the 10 friendship comments. Can I think of you as an imaginary friend? We sit and have coffee in the morning and maybe sit in the late afternoon for a few minutes. When you said see mutuality, this is why I like hearing about some of your experiences and problems because it gives me the feeling I’m not the only one with struggles and improves our imaginary friendship. it would be nice if you could do a longer series on this topic of friendship because this seemed a little rushed to me and I have to keep replaying it to get it all in my head. I think you have a BOOK here !! thanks. 😊
PS yes I struggle with this an older life partly because my husband has dimension now, and it has isolated me somewhat, well yes a lot. I know it has affected my friendships and hearing you lay it all out so clearly makes me raise my hand for so many of these ideas that you express. Again thank you thank you thank you.
And yes, it is not. My husband’s dementia that has affected my friendships, I know it is me me me and my handling of it. I have work to do clearly.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Being a caretaker isn't easy!
This was meant to be a quick overview of the 10 lessons I learned about friendship, but I have two videos that go more in-depth here: czcams.com/video/UHKa_9CPrNY/video.html & czcams.com/video/Yl-VppUh6Xw/video.html
So glad this one was helpful ❤️
Happy birthday 🎉 my birthday is today..I'm 62. Aries ♈️ rules 😊
Hiya... Happy Birthday to You!! 💜🌸
Enjoy your special day! 🤗💝🍰
Happy belated birthday my fellow Aries!! I hope you enjoyed ❤️
Thank you Terri and happy birthday! I have an old friend that makes me laugh so much but I've noticed more and more that he doesn't celebrate my wins with me or he asks me questions that could trigger anxiety about work because I'm self-employed. He's the kind of friend who is there when I'm in trouble (like lending his flat while he's away) but less present when all things are good. In other words, he's a bit jealous. I don't consider him a close friend anymore (plus he's away six months each year) and I don't want to invest as much energy in this friendship. But I'm not at the point of cutting ties. Any thoughts?
Thanks! Regarding your friend situation, that's so frustrating ❤️ This is what I mean by friendships need mutuality. Our friends cannot just be there when there's bad stuff going on. They need to be there for the good, too. If you've set boundaries around him not asking questions about work-related things, that's even worse.
But if you haven't, I would start there. See how he responds and if he respects that. "I'd like to make a simple request that we not talk about work-related stuff as it makes me anxious, and I'd appreciate you not asking me any work-related questions." Otherwise, how do you want this friendship to continue? Would you rather not reach out and see if he does? I also have more about boundaries and friends specifically here that might be helpful: czcams.com/video/UHKa_9CPrNY/video.html
@@terri_cole Thank you so much Terri! I actually feel more defensive and angry after a conversation where he would say something like: "You won a contract but for how long? What else do you have for the rest of the year?" It's not so much that it makes me feel anxious but I feel manipulated in my emotions and let down. But you're right that I should avoid the subject, otherwise how can I tell him that I see what game he's playing? People who dont like seeing others happy, how do we call them? Insecure, for a start.
Thanks for sharing that ❤️ I think in this case, it's also appropriate to say something like, "Thanks for your concern, but I have faith I will figure it out and I am not looking for your input on this. I just wanted to share my good news." Or you could say, "I have some good work-related news to share that I am not looking for feedback or questions about. Are you willing to be a compassionate ear?"
You could try starting with that first, and if he doesn't respond well, tell him, "I will stop talking about work-related things with you if you do not stop questioning my business." Choose whichever you feel best about. ❤️
@@terri_cole Wow, that's so helpful, shifting back the conversation to my needs and the good news about my work life. I think I could also ask back something like: "Why do you ask about what's coming up? I just shared great news about what's going on right now and I'd like to feel that you are happy for me." I also had a look at the other video you shared and it was insightful. The term "frenemy" describes well what he's becoming, unfortunately.
So glad it was helpful, and yes! Feel free to try questioning the questioner. Sometimes it helps them realize their question is inappropriate (and other times, it doesn't always, in which case, you're prepared!). 👏👏
How do you make friends? I have no one
You could look at joining things like book clubs or hobby groups (if you like painting, join local classes), or see if there's a local walking group. Meetup.com can be a great place for that, as is Reddit. There are also plenty of online communities if you don't have opportunities available locally 💕