I don't get how straight people can ask their partners to not have friends of the opposite gender. I'm bi, does that mean I can't be friends with ANYONE if i'm in a relationship??
Yes, that's exactly how people like that think; if you were dating them, you would not be "allowed" to have friends of a sex/gender/orientation that's sexually/emotionally compatible with you. That's assuming they'd even "accept" the fact you're bi to begin with; biphobia and bi erasure is pretty prevalent, even within the LGibbity Committee
Every time I've dated a guy who has close friends with a female, the relationship ended due to their affinity for said friend. Everyone is allowed to have different boundaries, but close female friends are a no for me. My current boyfriend is even destroying my allowance of female acquaintances, because he's lying about texting them when we are together knowing I'm insecure, creating more insecurity. So next dude I date just won't associate with other females, because I'm not dealing with this again.
@@Alixir1228babe you’re picking really terrible men you shouldn’t have to set those kind of ridiculous rules to get your partner to care about you and your feelings. That’s not love.
I dated a guy like this in college who was upset by my dance photos (I’m a former professional ballerina) and would tell me to wear a jacket whenever I went out because he didn’t want anyone looking at me. He literally told me he’d dress me in a potato sack if he could. I’m honestly so proud of her for sharing this publicly because she’s likely saving other women from getting into a relationship with this guy as well as helping other women recognize the signs of a manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship.
@@Zyrock exactly preach. everyone is different. just becuse they couldent make it work becuse of differences does not mean they are bad people or abusers.
@@elleumm yep that was kinda dumb of him Truth is we also don’t know a lot of things about their relationship or even either of two individuals The fact that so many people are jumping straight to conclusions/assumptions is kinda cringe They need a life honestly 😂
For people who dont think it's ever ok to post private texts, please remember that women are NEVER believed (most victims arent) and we're screamed at until we end up sharing texts/DMs anyway. And then everyone is like "well why didnt she share it in the first place?" or whatever Anyone whos been victimized in the past (even just having a bully or something) knows you have to have evidence ready AT THE TIME you say anything about it or youre going to get harassed 100x worse.
@@Saskfinest1Sometimes it can be really hard to leave abusive relationships. You're the one putting victims to shame by saying "well she can just leave any time."
@@cynister7384 she's not a victim. He didn't have a gun to her head. There was no violence at all and he didn't even call her a single name. He pretty much says "we are not compatible" and that's apparently being a "victim"? It sounds like you haven't been through anything real.
@@cynister7384 no, there was no emotional abuse or manipulation. He literally told her straight up what it was. It's also really convenient that she left out all her text in the one's she leaked. How is that manipulation? Was he supposed to stay with her? You all want to be treated like an independent boss woman but a man breaks up with a woman and it's abuse? Are you children or strong and independent? Once again, you've never been through real manipulation and emotional abuse if you think this is it.
No, simply the fact that he's almost 40 dating someone who's 25 is enough. "Don't play the 25 card" don't date a 25 year old if you expect them to act 35!! Date someone your own age if you want someone on your level of maturity and in your stage of life.
@@becca53444 "Young girls are like helpless children in the hands of amorous men, whatever is said to them is true and whatever manipulation on their bodies seems like love to them, sooner or later, they come back to their senses, but the scars are not dead inasmuch as her spoiler lives" Women see the flags and bolt quicker than girls
@@becca53444women older have more life experience and are harder to manipulate so it's only natural that people like that would seek younger girls even if just subconsciously.
I love how Jonah’s therapist literally did the most unethical thing a therapist could do… let their client make a film about them?? Absolutely bonkers that no one has talked about how wildly inappropriate the movie is.
Meanwhile, my cold, empty heart immediately thought "I bet Jonah writes off all his therapy now, as research." Yes, I'm a monster. Thank you for noticing.
If this is the therapist teaching hill about “boundaries” it’s no wonder he has no clue what he’s talking about because his own therapist doesn’t seem to know what dr/patient boundaries are. As someone getting a degree in psychology this is wildly unethical for him to do this-- just creates a weird power dynamic and conflicts of interest. Clearly not a very good therapist if you don’t know something like this is inherently wrong
He is the actual personification of Taylor Tomlinson’s bit in one of her Netflix specials. She reversed the genders to make the point but it’s basically “I want someone with drive, goals, ambition, and accomplishments… And then I want them to give all of that up for me.” Classic “if you ACTUALLY love me, you’ll get rid of everything else in your life that beings you any happiness/fulfillment whatsoever.”
🎶 "Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world/I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, and Girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun." 🎶
“Omg guys he just set a BOUNDARY.” This is her job???? She’s not even posing in most of these pictures and videos. She’s a SURF MODEL. Did he expect her to completely abandon her career cause she started dating him?? He’s 39 years old acting like a 16 year old boy
As a therapist, I would love it if people could remember that therapists are people and can be FUCKING. WRONG. Check their goddamn qualifications. Check the regulatory bodies they belong to, and the guidelines that these bodies set for therapists. Check your rights as clients. And for the love of GOD, THERAPISTS SHOULD NOT BE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO. They should not be “INSTRUCTING” shit! It’s supposed to be a collaborative relationship where they offer their psychological knowledge and expertise and make suggestions based on this, and if those suggestions don’t feel right, you figure out something else TOGETHER. Therapists can challenge you. They can disagree with you. They should not be telling you what to do. They should not be guilt tripping you. And don’t use BetterHelp. Okay, thanks. *Steps off soapbox*.
Fr my friend wants to break up with her therapist because all the therapist does is essentially say "You're rewatching old YT videos because you're gonna take yourself off the census soon" and then proceeds to shove the hotlines down my friend's throat like that's gonna do anything constructive.
Yes! Thank you! I unfortunately had issues with therapists in the past, it made everything even worse. Just because they’re a therapist doesn’t automatically make them a good person or right. If you don’t like them, try someone else. It can be so frustrating and tiring trying to find the right one, but it’s so worth it. Finding the right one can be life changing!
Yep so true just like everybody else everybody can be bad at their profession or a monster and have a job That's true for everyone I don't know why people think doctors therapists the government police everybody's supposed to be God like because they're certainly not
There would be no one left in Hollywood then you’d have to stop watching every movie and show because it’ll either have an abuser in it or be created/directed by one I think it’s weird to share private massages you could just say “___ was toxic and manipulative”
At first I was like “yeah that’s fine if he doesn’t want his girlfriend posting bikini pics online”, but then those texts escalated so fast to him forbidding her from speaking to other men at all or being NEAR them in the water. And the endless bragging about what a “good” boyfriend he was to her screams narcissism. Not to mention she’s a surfer, so it was dumb to date a girl who posts pictures in swimsuits on a normal basis because it’s part of her job, then think she’s gonna completely change just for him. Maybe don’t date surfers if you don’t like that??
@@garyoakham9723I’m sorry Einstein, I thought the point of being in an established relationship was monogamy and the “not cheating” part kinda sorta just speaks for itself.
A lot of fat people unfortunately struggle with feeling like they have to put on a goofy/immature affect to be the “likable fat goofball.” My guess is he’s incredibly insecure.
What annoys me the most is that every time he's "expressing his boundaries" he ends up with a threat to breaking up with her if she doesn't do what he just told her to do, in an extreme manipulative way!
@@truetrannyis, but not when ure going DO THIS! OR ELSE as a threat, if u dk now u know, if youre purposely trolling i hope u know how ignorant and buffoonish u look rn
@@truetranny The issue isn't him simply breaking up with her. If he wanted to break up with her he would say "I don't think I can date you cuz of *these reasons*, I understand you love them but I really cant handle it, sorry" or something. What he said is basically "do this or ill break up with you" which is a threat, that's not ok. get the difference?
@@truetranny maybe get a dictionary because a threat doesn’t just mean threatening someone’s life. it’s just some bad outcome if you do/don’t do something. and yes, him breaking up with her would actually be enforcing a boundary because boundaries are limits you set for yourself. it’s not about controlling your partner because you’re insecure
My first boyfriend was kinda like him. I remember how he would threaten me. He forced me to have s3x with him. He threatened to break up with me if I didn't "give it to him". At first he used to threatened to cheat on me because I didn't "satisfy" him. Eventually one day he locked me in his room, got me undressed and refused to let me go until he got what he allegedly deserved. That was very traumatizing to me, especially because I was 15, a Virgin and scared. He didn't care about how I felt, It was painful and horrible... he broke up with me and I went ages with sexual trauma, self hatred and insecurities. So in conclusion stay away from men, these types of men are the worst kind of abusers, they start of by abusing you emotionally then it progresses to sexual then physically/domestic violence Sorry I just trauma dumped on you
as someone who has a bachelors in counseling it absolutely BAFFLES me that a counselor would have her agree to paddle away from men that come near her to make him more comfortable ?! like hm maybe talk about the root of why that makes him uncomfortable and find a way to reassure him in ways that are REASONABLE as well as making it known how it makes HER feel about it too.
@@pixiedust1999 yeah i get that but i’m just saying that the fact that there are therapists like that in the first place is ridiculous and completely goes against the code of ethics
This whole situation with the surfing thing is kind of like getting a pet bird because you like hearing it sing, but then once you get it you don’t want it to sing anymore because other people *might* hear it and want to have it for themselves. She’s a human, not a bird. But damnit, let her spread her wings.
dude the fact that SO many insecure, immature people on social media are not just defending him wholeheartedly but actively shitting on her actually scares the hell out of me, like this is not the norm and i’m so sick of reading comments from men saying she should just shut up and adhere to what he’s DEMANDING her to do because it “could be worse”.
My list of 11 boundaries/rules for my future partner: 1. No being in the same room as other people without me (if you're bi like me then you could cheat with anyone) 2. No speaking with other people. You must exit every interaction with "STAY AWAY FOWL BEAST. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" 3. You must abandon all hobbies and interest even though I decided to date you when you had all of those interests. 4. No talking to family. I don't know them so they could still be a threat (especially if you're from Alabama) 5. No taking pictures and posting them unless it is to our private couples account with my approval (we have no followers) 6. You're not allowed to look in the mirror. Looking at yourself is a form of cheating. 7. No coughing. I don't like the sound. 8. Must agree to be surgically attached to my hip so we can be one entity. 9. Must fake your death and change your name so none of your friends try to talk to you (they are a bad influence). 10. Cannot have any pets or children because loving anything other than me is cheating. 11. You are not allowed to look at me when we're in public because you might see someone else in the reflection of my eyes (again, that's cheating). Not sure why I am still single. I'm just too nice I guess.
Just to be safe, i'd also throw in: 'can only eat foods they hate, because eating foods you love is cheating' I'm sure one day you'll find a partner, your boundaries seem reasonable enough so that can't be it! /jk
It's so bizarre to me that he feels like asking her to quit surfing (where she is occasionally in the vicinity of other men) is somehow a reasonable ask, but you know that if she asked him to quit acting, where he regularly kisses and pantomimes sex with other women, he would lose his shit. If you are not approving of your partner's occupation/passion, just break up; asking them to quit is to ask them to give up who they are just to assuage your own insecurity, and it's so damaging and unhealthy.
I see it all the time on videos of women working out. God forbid we be reminded that women also have body parts, and them wearing tight clothing or filming from a back angle literally does not matter 🙄
@@samiyoddinmohammed1202dating a surfer and then demanding she changes and stops posting surfing videos is the definition of a controlling double standard. Stay being a pick me.
No friend or romantic interest has a right to tell you who to hang out with. It's a massive red flag. They can express that "hey, I get a little worried when you're around so many attractive guys when I've been ridiculed for my looks all my life, it makes me wonder if you'll leave me." And the gf's response would ideally be, "I'm with you because I want to be with you, I've been around those surfer bros for decades and they don't interest me, here's what I like about you:..." And that would have been a respectful, honest, and vulnerable conversation to have. THIS, however, is a narcissistic nightmare .
Those aren't boundaries Boundaries are the standards of which you're willing to be treated They are not demanding your partner to do certain behaviors Yes boundary - "I refuse to accept being spoken to like I don't matter" Not a boundary - "I refuse to let you do the hobbies and sports that you're passionate about because I don't trust you to not cheat on me"
Just because someone is a therapist does NOT mean they’re a good person or right. A lot of them can be narcissistic or struggling with issues themselves. It’s so dangerous because they make people like Jonah feel like they’re in the right and doing the healthy thing
Yeah, there's actually a lot of therapists who would score decently high on the sociopath scale. Dr. K on CZcams has explained why that is in a bit more detail but basically sociopaths are able to shut off their emotions easier. And stay detached. Which makes for being a good therapist. Obviously they do still have some empathy... But being able to detach yourself from the situation and potentially very strong emotions is beneficial to therapists. And can actually make them decently good therapists. We can also make them bad as well, for sure.
My friend and her (now ex) husband went to couples therapy, this (woman) therapist always took the husbands side and it baffled me bc I saw him act downright abusive in person to her many times and it made me have a distrust towards therapists for a while, even still.
I had a therapist that immediately assumed i was some sort of narcissist because she saw an old diagnosis that was removed because i didnt meet the criteria for borderline personality disorder. I told her my doctor removed it because i dont meet criteria and she can call him and confirm but she wouldnt. I was given that diagnosis by a pissed off case manager when I was 16 and in an abusive relationship with no parents. He literally gave me the diagnosis while yelling at me because i wanted to go back in patient after just getting out and he was mad he had to do paperwork. Anyway she treated me like a narcissist, twisted everything I said, tried to tell me i cant form bonds etc and I was there fighting for my daughter...it made me never want to see a therapist again
there's also the fact that a therapist often is only getting one side of things and a patient can be telling them information that paints the situation in an entirely different way (to their own detriment cus why u in therapy to not grow at all as a person)
Speaking as a therapist, your mocking description of Johnah Hill’s therapist describing why he is making a Netflix documentary is EXACTLY CORRECT. It baffled me when this documentary came out and I used it as an opportunity to discuss the ethics of it with my therapy students.
to provide you a little context, here I'm copy pasting what I shared in a different thread: Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
@@love7love I think you’re confused about the meaning of the word “context.” You wrote an impressively long and passionate exposition in defense of Jonah Hill and in hostile condemnation of his girlfriend….none of which, unfortunately, gave any semblance of context to my original statement… I never commented on Jonah Hill, his girlfriend, nor his texts and their contents (which I do absolutely find concerning, however, this is ironically the first I’ve commented on any of the things you attempted to argue in your response to my original comment). My original comment related to the ethics of the therapist’s decision to so egregiously publicize his therapeutic relationship with a client and exploit it for financial gain. It’s a common ethical dilemma on a massively dangerous scale. I’m unsure of where you pulled your “context” from, or where you saw me give any opinion on Jonah Hill, at all…but it couldn’t possibly have been from my original comment. I hope I was able to clear up your confusion. Cheers.
@@love7love bruh take a breath and reread the comment posted here because you are comin way out of left field about shit no one was talking about. THE COMMENT IS ABOUT THE THERAPISTS BEHAVIOR NOT JONAH HILLS
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and he would set "boundaries" just like this. it eventually ended in DV, and I wound up with a black eye. please, if someone treats you like this listen to the warning signs.
As someone who left my emotionally abusive husband, I can understand why she'd want to share the texts publicly. I had to learn the hard way what manipulation and gaslighting and abuse looks like, endured it for 5 years and thought I was always the problem. Sharing the abuse publicly means other women/people in similar situations may recognize it and start the process of healing themselves and removing themselves from those situations.
And to be fair it really has brought awareness. Whenever I hear a guy use “boundaries”, “gaslight” and “respect” in conversation or texts I’m out, my last bf said I needed to take “accountability” for the way my last two relationships ended (they were physically and mentally abusive and I got out so…) and I was like “BYE”.
i agree, you get that feeling that you need a second opinion on a situation because “that’s clearly abusive and hurts my feelings, but maybe i’m wrong and can’t really trust myself”
Someone said “A lot of men see their own disrespect for a woman as a lack of self respect on her part” and boy I wish I saw less examples of that being true.
Yeah it happens with a lot of things, its called projecting. when someone (usually narcissistic) characterize the people around them based off their own internal issues instead of how the other personal actually feels/thinks. Its a mental work around done subconsciously to avoid personal accountability and to avoid confronting insecurties.
@@KreamCheeCucumberI wouldn't say usually narcissistic. Projection is a normal part of the human experience, and everyone does it, to different levels. Anxiety and depression usually comes with a LOT of projection, and comparison. People with a severe lack of self-awareness are usually like this.
@@kenjyn76 you know what, I totally agree with you. Its a coping mechanism used by many struggling with mental illness of any form. I'm guilty of it myself. I was wrong to say usually narcissists. But I wish more people were educated around it so that they could break a cycle.
The one about her female friends from her "wild past" is so, so manipulative and i have trouble putting into words why it's so obviously total bullshit to any woman who has ever had an even mildly controlling male partner. Like, one of their most effective and most used manipulation tactics is their judging of your friends and isolating you from them. They always justify it by saying your friends are wild and a bad influence. Of course he gets to decide whether someone is stable or not.
But if you have a friend that's a bad influence is that something you can't mention? I went on a holiday with some mates and 3 of them cheated and none of them held each other accountable. They all had telltale signs of being prats and were genuinely incredibly bad influences on one another. It would've been pretty reasonable for their partners to bring this up.
@@hotshower695 of course there's nuance to this and I'm not saying no one has ever had unstable or disloyal friends who are a bad influence. Yes that happens. Yes sometimes a partner might have a valid reason to say I'm not comfortable with you hanging out with that person, especially doing x-y-z (like going out drinking). There aren't many situations that are always either good or bad. But this is also a very common isolation & abuse tactic. It's especially obvious in the context of all his other demands, but it's not always so clear either. Honestly, it's gotta be a pretty serious issue to justify telling your partner who they can and can't be friends with, because a relationship should be built on trust. If you can't trust your partner, that's a problem with the relationship, not with their friends. I mean you can dislike your partner's friends, but unless the partner has given you a reason not to trust them it's usually not justifiable to tell them who they can have as a friend. If they have a problem with all or most of your friends that's an even bigger red flag. If it's an issue of you worrying about them cheating when they're out with their friends, that's more of a relationship issue. I can think of times when it would be an issue specifically with a certain friend or friend group though - for example if your partner struggles with drug or alcohol abuse and their friends are always pressuring them to go out and party. Then I would say it's understandable to say hey, these people put you into situations that make it harder for your recovery and I don't think you should be around them. It's a nuanced issue, like I said. But if you just think they're going to cheat if they go out with these friends, it seems like you probably just shouldn't be in that relationship. If my husband had a group of friends who tried to get him to go do things I wouldn't be ok with, I trust that he'd tell them to fuck off. And if he didn't, well that's a problem with him and our relationship, not his friends. Relationships are complex and there's never an easy black and white answer to anything. It's why they're so difficult. But that doesn't change the fact that there are a lot of controlling people (both men and women but my experience has been mostly with men) who use this seemingly reasonable justification for slowly isolating their partner from their friends and family. Which again is a common abuse tactic. It's the first step in a controlling abusive relationship. I've experienced it before and I've seen several friends go through it even worse. It's usually a red flag, but again, especially in the context that we see with the rest of his unreasonable demands.
@@hotshower695 Again, sir-if you TRUST someone, you don’t worry about that shit. A good relationship is built on TRUST. You are projecting a whole lot with your little stories here.
@@ruthie8785 Ruthie, I'm describing a scenario where someone's trust is abused. If someone tells you "my partner cheated", is your advice gonna be "in future trust your partner, it's healthy"? How useful will that be. Sounds like you have the privilege of never having encountered anything like this before. Hopefully it stays that way so you can continue with being unconcerned or unprepared for anything bad happening. 👍
Damn, my parents are getting divorced because of relationship dynamics startingly similar to this. My "dad" eventually got physically abusive and assaulted multiple of my family members, but besides that he was controlling in almost the exact same way wtf. It's crazy seeing all the comments on this video saying they went through something similar as well, not to mention all the irl ppl we've met who heard the first few sentences of our story and went "oh yeah that happened to me too". Shit like this is waaaaay too common, thanks for spreading awareness with this video. Hopefully now at least a few ppl won't stay in a toxic relationship after seeing it and stories like it.
when i see people more angry about the fact that she shared the texts than the fact that he emotionally abused her i know they’ve got shit they’re hiding, immediate red flag
@@tomsnowden6201 oh great another ab*ser getting mad in the comments. from the texts he sent it's clear he's controlling lmao and not setting boundaries. I could say "I don't want you to eat food ever again that's just my boundary :(" but that would make me a bad person without question.
@@tomsnowden6201 He literally 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 her, verbally 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 her by yelling, he controlled her every movement, he even had to PERSONALLY APPROVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHE HAD CONTACT WITH, even if it was for 5 minutes, she WASN'T ALLOWED to TALK to men, NOR her own friends without his permission. He guilt tripped her into doing whatever he wanted her to do, he isolated her by not allowing her to see her friends because he got insecure about it, and made her even remove photos or videos because it made him insecure even though the videos and photos that were deleted weren't even 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 or anything. Are you really defending him and calling people pathetic just because we recognize the 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 and 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯????? The 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤 one here is you, who falls for his basic 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, or maybe you're defending him because you're just exactly like him, a toxic, immature and 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 man who acts like a little cry baby when other people don't do exactly what they say. Grow up.
I dated a tattoo artist with a lot of female friends, and he obviously tattooed people of all sexes. we ended up breaking up for multiple reasons, but partially because i couldn’t handle his lifestyle and it was okay. We broke up on good terms. He still does my tattoos and we are still friends to this day. He is married now, and has a kid on the way with somebody who can handle his lifestyle. This is how healed people who have actually been in therapy their whole lives handle something like this, looking at you, Jonah.
Thank you for making a point about Tom and Zendaya. I don’t understand why so many people were criticizing Zendaya for literally *doing her job* as an actress acting in a movie. Would love if you talked more about that!
I found is ridiculous that the information she shared with the world literally outs Jonah Hill as a minipulative, self-centred jerkface and some people are still like, "it's mean to share texts" and "why are you trying to ruin this millionnaire's life". Can we just agree that she should absolutely be able to share how mentally abusive someone in the public sphere is and warn other women about as well.
The same people that then laugh at millionaries dying in a submarine, right? Lol people justifying or enabling evil people must be even worse than the evil people themselves.
Same, like if hes proud enough to be controlling she shld be able to come out with her truth esp if its to this extent to help others on the way, and also hes a multimillionaire people will simp for their emotional support rich person even when no way around it for a certain situation
@@Andkshsnsjsbsh Honesty!? Yes I do feel that's important. Furthermore I never stated that I thought it was a healthy relationship, how can it be when one of the partners in said relationship is obviously a conceited whore. Feel sorry for me all you want I'm in a long term relationship with a woman who I trust, who also agrees that Jonah Hill's texts were perfectly acceptable. Compatibility is extremely important and often overlooked aspect of any healthy relationship. If you're not compatible with your partner than you'd be doing both them and yourself a disservice by not stating as much and allowing the relationship to actually devolve into something that is toxic and not just perceived to be by a society that idolizes victim culture.
this really just goes to prove just how oversexualized women and girls are NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO!! those photos/videos are so far away that you can’t even see any ass or cleavage or anything. they’re basically sexualizing a silhouette atp. also i genuinely can’t stand this idea of “instagram cheating” that has come about where women just posting “sexy” picture of themselves on insta is considered cheating?? like what?? half the time they’re not even sexy either, they’re just sexualized becquse it’s a woman. like you can just be standing there and still be called a whore, while men would literally get hard from a rock that has curves like a woman.
I agree, but if you believe this you also have to hold that the guy (or in another case, another person you're dating of another gender) is not cheating simply for liking pics. But I'm not the type of person who thinks looking is cheating. Talking to them regularly however...
@@EEsCZcamsChanel um yea, obviously liking pics isn’t cheating either. you can set a boundary tht you don’t like it, but you can’t just go around calling it cheating. it’s different if they’re watching like porn or OF content but if someone it posting a sfw picture then you shouldn’t go straight to sexualizing them. this isn’t about what’s cheating and what’s not, it’s that men automatically go to sexualizing women just for simply existing and living their lives as they please. there was not a single thing sexual about her posts
@@goopbuniYes you can set a boundary that you don’t want to date someone who consumes pornography or even just certain types of pornography, but if they don’t want to follow that it’s on you to leave, and it’d be wild to accuse them of cheating. Remember, boundaries are things you set around yourself to control your behavior, not things you impose on others to control their behavior. So Boundary: “I do not want to date someone who consumes pornography, if that’s something you are not willing to give up, please tell me so I know we aren’t compatible” Rule: “Now that we’re dating, stop watching porn”
@@EEsCZcamsChanelTalking regularly" is not "cheating" either. That's too vague to put a red flag like that on. Friends talk. Many talk regularly. "Cheating" is seeking or building a relationship with someone else behind your current partner's back. Nothing else.
@@cjboyo yeah she doesn't get it. She's like "nah I've totally flashed like 3428577 other people's girlfriends and boyfriends my tits without provocation knowing they're taken but it's not cheating because it's over a screen" girl it's cheating. She's all "yeah if someone blackmails you to cheat on you with their ex it's totally fine if they can't physically see them everyday. NO, IT'S CHEATING. You can't deliberately disrespect a relationship and call the other person jealous or controlling. And in my case, I don't get jealous, I JUST DUMP YOUR HOE ASS.
weirdly what cooper said helped me 😭 i have been so worried about my bf leaving me bc of how i’ve had so many exes who’ve said they love me then just break up with me and tell me they never really did. but cooper saying that if someone is going out of their way to make sure you’re comfortable and doing everything they can to make you happy that means they love you, made me realize my bf does truly love me. whenever im upset he makes sure he does everything he can to make me feel better, whenever i ask him for something or talk about something that made me uncomfortable he never gets mad, and he’s always understanding. realizing that he really does love me, thanks cooper :D
@@tomsnowden6201no one said it was here, it is emotionally manipulative though. hes using his insecurities to control her hobbies and who shes around, under the guise of enforcing “boundaries”
Dude, you give me hope for mankind! I wish there were more guys with your mindset out there. It's hard to trust guys these days with all the craziness going on and sick laws being passed in certain states. You are funny, kind, and cool. Your partner or future partner will be a lucky person!
as someone who has seen narcissists and how they act he is a perfect example. making people feel sorry for him, manipulating people by covering it up as "boundaries", weaponizing his trauma, going thru an entire speech change to sound superior and "in the right", it's all an act to make himself feel praised and loved because he doesn't know how to earn it.
In the movie "This is the End" the celebs play themselves and Jonah is shown to be a really bad guy who only pretends to be nice. The guy Jay from the movie who is basically Jonah's arch nemesis, said in interviews afterwards that his dislike for Jonah was completely genuine.
Kevin Spacey almost exclusively took roles where he was the villain or some kind of creep, and he turned out to be a villain and a creep. Jonah Hill plays a lot of assholes pretending to be nice, and he seems to be an asshole pretending to be nice. Sometimes I wonder how “talented” these actors really are. Also I’m calling it now: Jason Bateman seems like he’s rude to his waiters.
@@eileensnow6153I used to love Jason Bateman until I read somewhere that he told Jessica Walter she should just put up with sexual harassment on set. Screw that, and don’t talk to Jessica Walter that way
Wanting to share your abuse publicly is entirely normal in my opinion. You spend so much time suffering alone that you want to finally share your pain with the world and let them know that the abuser is not who they seem to be.
It’s also empowering. For so long you’ve doubted yourself, felt powerless, hopeless, weak.. so to speak your truth and voice it is so empowering. It’s reclaiming your power after breaking away from an controlling relationship
I had almost an identical situation with an ex of mine and wanted everyone to know the truth and see him for who he was. I was too scared to ever out him bc I knew it would only make me more of a target with him. Always wish I got to post his insanity.
Oh god, I dated one of these. He made me feel like a terrible person because I wasn't going to spend MY birthday with him (it happened to fall on the same day of the week as the DnD game I'd been playing for three years). He called me selfish, and awful, said that he had gotten me such a thoughtful gift and how could I do this to such a wonderful boyfriend... I went to sleep crying at least twice a week for almost a year, always thinking I was a horrible selfish girlfriend for not supporting him and his anxieties better. He would loudly declare how much he despised my hobbies because they took time away from him. When he went to therapy it made him less suicidal, but gave him a whole new arsenal of "therapy speak" to guilt me with. He eventually broke up with me after I developed feelings for someone else (which I was completely honest about) and demanded I quit the club I was in with that person (which at that point was my only safe space from him). A couple days later he sent me a deranged all-caps text where he unironically called me an "infidelious short attention-spanned wench" - my friends and I get to laugh about that one now.
My bf and I started a saying from the movie Barnyard “it’s a cow farm, there’s gonna be cows” because I would get hit on or compliments from someone else. He’ll just shrug because he said I’m a pretty girl I’m going to get compliments/hit on. We both laugh and go on with our lives. Jonah hill reeks of insecurity. god bless boo
Victims of abuse should be encouraged to publicly share their experiences. It shows others that they're not alone. It helps people realize what abuse can look like. I'm tired of seeing abusers be protected, while their victims are told to shut up...
@demigodworkinginthescpfacility not necessarily because we haven't seen anything that she has said to him. The screanshots don't proove abuse. You guys are just getting manipulated by her
The way Jonah talked in those texts reminded me so much of my abusive ex partner. If your partner ever talks to you like this it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with their own issues, mainly insecurity.
Interesting that "manic girl" is calling her ex abusive..As I've come to learn MANY women love to refer to their exes as "abusive" and "narcissistic" . Completely destroying the word in order to gain sympathy while pretending they were perfect partners and victims.
I haven’t reached the end of the video yet but I kind just wanna add that if he was actually setting a boundary it would sound more like “I don’t think that I’m in a space to be in a relationship with you so I’m going to leave.” Not “I feel insecure when I see you living your life authentically so you have to be different or you have to leave.” His boundaries are for him to uphold. What he was doing was not placing a boundary.
Oh I had that happen with this really fucked up guy I used to know a long time ago, he was so gross and I was quite young at the time so I mistook the ick I was picking up towards him as a crush cause he was popular and people found him attractive. I realised after a while that the feeling was because I knew in my gut that something was wrong with him and when I found out what he did I was genuinely so relieved to have a reason to get away and to know that I was right, idk it was just a relief knowing I could trust myself and my instincts
This is so true! This dude in my friend group had the worst vibes, and that’s an understatement. No one would listen to me, and then, a year after I graduated, he was kicked out. He was manipulative, constantly pushing boundaries until you caved, would block you/ice you out if you ever told him no or called him out, and even did some things I won’t mention since they could be triggering. It felt really good when everyone else realised that he was bad.
Guy friend: "hey I like you." Girlie pop: "hey, I feel so flattered but I don't like you like that, sorry." Guy friend: "that's really hurtful and crosses my boundaries." Girlie pop: "I didn't know that boundaries could include entitlement of needing people to like you???" That happened to my sister once. They aren't friends anymore.
this video so validating tbh. i have been in so many situations like this from different men and whenever i talk about it people don’t take it as seriously as it should be taken !! i obv know now but it would have been great to see when i was younger and feeling in the wrong. keep up the great content cooper :)
Boundaries are me telling my fiance I cant bully him awake in the mornings cause I cant tell if hes awake or still asleep thanks to autism and saying "I know you need something more to wake you up but I just cant do that" Boundaries are NOT telling your gf to never interact with another living being ever and to give up all her passions hopes and dreams so you can be sure she'll never leave you
So as a woman who's been with a highly possessive dude (who was a serial philanderer; go figure); you literally can't win. I would do the 'Sorry, I'm married thing' when his friends, family and even just acquaintances would push past his boundaries (and my own too); and he would lose it. They'd complain I was being frigid and rude (literally talking about unwanted touching, like my hair and back), and he would side with them. But if I was too warm, he'd flip too. There's no way to please a soft ego, or a people pleasure when you are their scapegoat.🤷🏼♀️
Side note but isn’t Jonah one of the undercover cops in the Jumpstreet series? Also wasn’t a plot point in 22 Jumpstreet the fact that Jonah’s character got jealous of his cop partner making friends at the university they went undercover in?
I had a boyfriend who was so similar to this, he would tell me straight to my face that he hated my friends and he would cause arguments with me about them constantly, then he would act like best friends with them whenever he saw them and act like nothing happened. He would set “boundaries” that were so unreasonable, for example I have this one friend who I grew up with and we would call each other sisters because that’s how we viewed each other, but he told me I couldn’t do that anymore because people were coming up to him and asking him about it saying how it must suck to be dating someone with such a b**** of a sister (even though she is the sweetest person ever). He isolated me from my friends and made me feel so alone, but whenever I would bring this up with him he would tell me it was my fault and I honestly believed him because I was so blinded by the love I had for him in the beginning and I thought it was me who must have changed to cause this big of an issue. I wish people talked about it more especially with young people because it’s so easy to fall in love with someone and feel bad for them when they tell you they’re hurt by something you did, even though it shouldn’t be an issue in the first place. I feel so sorry for this woman because I know the guilt you feel when in this situation but I’m so happy she’s out of it because it is so freeing ❤️
I can't believe how fast I followed this man. I think he's really found a niche in aggressively respecting women, and as a woman, it's so genuinely healing.
you cant set 'boundaries' for the way someone else acts apart from you... this shit is wild. im glad she posted bc this is a prime example of a high control relationship and how insidious emotional abuse can be.
How so? Cheating is an act apart from someone. I'm not condoning Jonah's behavior, but you absolutely can place boundaries about anything. And it's up to you if you want to stick around if your partner doesn't want to respect said boundaries.
@scoobydoo5405 That’s true but boundaries are more of something that’s being done TOO YOU cheating is being done to you bc you’re in that relationship while her posting her hobby of surfing isn’t affecting him bc nothing is being done to him
@@Alixir1228 it's not really apart from someone bc it still relates back to the relationship in the end, that's a breaking of the rules you agree upon when you begin a monogamous relationship boundaries aren't just a magic word that you can use to prevent your partner from doing anything, it's "don't do this to me/around me" (which yes, cheating is doing something to that person, it's a breaking of their trust), not "don't do this thing. ever."
exactly! a boundary is about what YOU are going to do, NOT about what other people SHOULD do. your boundaries should not be able to be broken if the other person doesn't abide by them (because in most cases people wont!) a boundary is "if you do X i will do Y." not just "you cant do X." people will do whatever they want, boundaries are about the way YOU respond.
Boundaries are for how someone treats you, not for how someone else acts with others. If you don’t want someone to touch you, that is a boundary. If you don’t want someone to touch someone else, that is not a boundary.
I really do feel for Jonah in some ways because the media and people he worked with and just worked in his field as well as countless strangers commenting on his weight and looks and stuff for all of his career and anytime there's a shift in how he looks, his defensiveness has been built up over time and caused a lot of fear and insecurity that can come off as what he sees as finally sticking up for himself but is actually incredibly toxic and abusive when gone about in the way that he does it. It's okay to have insecurities especially being in the situation he has been in for years in the media, it's not okay to use those insecurities as a fuel to hurt others or attempt to control their lives especially those who love you
It's so triggering and frustrating to watch the texts and such because I've been through the same thing. He was extremely controlling to a point, I can't go on 10 minutes without texting him what I was doing. Because of him, I ditched all my makeup, stopped doing them and stopped dancing all together. He threatened me with his life saying everytime I defy him he was"dying" or smtg like that. I was at my lowest when I was with him and I had to cater to all his needs. He made me stop hanging out with my friends bcause he said I was wasting time & I should focus more on "beneficial" stuff to do. We would call until 3-4 in the morning even though I was sleepy cause I had class in the morning. At one point, he got so angry that I didn't want to call he started yelling at me over the phone and telling me that he was dying bcause of me. There's more but I think this is enough to describe how our relationship went. I finally feel some sort of validation watching this vid cause I know someone went through the same thing I did and it wasn't normal and that it wasn't my fault we ended things. Thank u for reading if u've reached the end- 😂
also lets not forget that he diagnosed her with narcissistic personality disorder when she didn't like him controlling her and monitoring her location all the time
If I had a partner that worked hard on their body (out of enjoyment, not because anyone else was pressuring them) and had the cojones to get on a thin board in the middle of a humongous body of water to surf, I'd be on the beach cheering them on and hearting every one of their online posts doing that thing. It's admirable, not a threatening or worrisome trait in a romantic relationship. All of Jonah's so-called boundaries are red flags, and he should get a new therapist.
As a psychology student, I can tell you that one of the first things we learn in class is to not jump to conclusions as this can be absolutely destructive, especially when we only have one side of the story. Doesn't matter if its accidental or not, it seems like his therapist is turning him against his girlfriend. To anyone reading this, be careful when you want to get a therapist, psychologist, etc. They are human too, which means that some of them are good and some of them might not be a match for you. It is good to look for help and advice from professionals, but some times they can be wrong, too. Just don't hesitate to communicate your worries with them. It is completely okay to be worried about some of the advice you get, even if it is from a professional, and sharing these worries in a respectful way to try and understand why this advice is being given is a good thing that you could do in this situation. edit: to anyone who's reading this, you shouldn't be afraid to go look for help, the point of this comment is not to scare you. Most of the people who work in psychology will be extra careful when dealing when this kind of issue, they will take into consideration what kind of person you are and which approach is best for you. Just make sure that the person who's giving you help is the right person for you. If you are worried about the advice that you are being given, try to communicate your worries with them. Stay safe everyone
I really do not believe that someone would spend the YEARS he’s had in therapy to try and improve and grow as a person and intentionally be controlling or toxic. To me I think it just seems like he took some bad advice from a therapist.
THANK YOU! Us not having JH's side of the story is enough to really frown upon all of this. Sharing this like these on the internet like that is just tacky at best, and highly destructive and immature to the ultimate degree at worst, SPECIALLY if she's just being emotional and irrational and who knows what kind of person SHE is... but just the mere fact she'd be this level of indiscreet is enough for me to write her off as the one being insane and trying to catch a wave on the coattails of JH... what does she want now? to become a highly famous mental health/ feminist activist at the expense of JH? disgusting and disgraceful AF. No matter the truth about JH, she should be immediately cancelled in my opinion.
Her posting publicly is a strong move. She knew there would be backlash, people love him. She is showing that she's putting it back in her own hands by going public. Rock on 🤘 Weaponized therapy language isn't the same as a healthy person. I hope he gets help
He is in a happy relationship, finally starting a family and having a kid with a woman that align with his values. She posted 720 stories in last 2 week about most deep public stuff to 130k followers 2 years after they broke up. She will need a lot of help, not him.
I never even liked the man but I don’t think this was necessary she could have said he was toxic and manipulative without sharing messages like a petty 16 yr old
@@latenabeard3548 abused? Manipulated, sure. Was the relationship toxic? Yes. If every one In Hollywood did this every one would be an abuser. She framed this like it was for her mental health but it’s because she’s petty. She could have just said “he was a toxic manipulator when we were together” and then moved on with her life. A lot do women go through this I’ve gone through this weird incel shit but I just dump the guy and move on cause he needs to figure his own shit out. He was an ass but I’m not gonna get behind the hate train just cause he’s a douche bag.
I’ve had an ex literally text me paragraphs on paragraphs about “boundaries “ and then threaten to break up with me if I don’t fall in line with those “boundaries”
those interactions she shared were the beginning phase of my abusive relationship i’ve left 4 months ago. it progressed into physical and it always starts at control and isolation. if they can justify their insecurities and weaponize therapy speech to do so AND victimize themselves all at the same time, imagine the mental gymnastics they’ll do to physically hurt you. you don’t think it’ll happen until it does.
I was in the same situation ab a yr and a half ago. I was a minor ans he was my manager. Isolation, being controlling ab how I dress, even tho it didn't change, if I did my makeup. He ended up punching the wall 2 in from my face. Almost a few months the last time I saw him was after our last BREAKUP, and he went through my phone and found out I slept w sum1 else during our breakup. Woke me up and sliced his hand open. Last time I saw him but he stalked me for months. Even maybe now, I've hidden my life from the public
Abusers like this really want you to stay silent, bc they know their worldview falls apart under scrutiny from the outside world. Proud of her for putting this out there, it's gotta be terrifying to do so.
This. This is why I do understand people upset that his privacy his being violated, technically.... But also abusers thrive off of secrecy and silence. So I'll pretty much always support abusers be exposed especially if they are celebrities. Because they absolutely thrive off of their victims staying quiet. If you didn't want his privacy being violated he shouldn't have been a controlling POS within the relationship enough for it to need to be exposed. Taylor Swift has a similar ideology "if people don't want bad songs being written about them then they shouldn't do bad things". She's written good love songs... For the partners that treated well.
People seem to forget that boundaries aren’t “I don’t want you to do that. Don’t do that.” They’re “I don’t like when you do that/doing that makes me feel like this, so if you do, I will walk away” or whatever. You can’t force someone to change how they act, you can only determine how you respond to it
Thank you! Such a perfect take on this situation. Calling out the control issues in the most hilarious way possible. Shocked a girl hasn’t grabbed you up yet. Cute, funny and self aware? What what? Lots of love
I use to be in a relationship somewhat like this. I wasnt allowed to wear shorts of any kind, wasnt allowed to wear any clothes that "show my bodytype" I had resorted to baggy clothes and even then, I wasnt allowed outside because of wind and or rain, I had to send him pictures of my outfits when he was not around. Every time I spent even a literal minute away from him he accused me of being with and or talking to other people and scared me 24/7 saying everyone is a creep and is out to get me. I was isolated, controlled and told these things daily and I had a huge struggle getting out of that relationship because he would manipulate me. Everything I had done was a problem for him and he made me believe I was in the wrong. He made me repeat whatever he said, it being (in short) that I was not going to be unloyal and go against what he told me to do. It had gotten to the point where he sat me down and made me choose between my best friend or our relationship without any valid reason, he just had said I was playing with them on a game and he didnt like it. Theres a lot more than this but thats all Im going to share. For anyone who comes across these types of people, DO NOT HESITATE TO LEAVE, do not tolerate this, do not let people control you like that. I appreciate this video and this brave woman bringing awareness and calling him out, I would hate for someone to go through the same problems. If anyone is currently experiencing this, LEAVE, do NOT put up with that.
Omg I was told that I can't be friends with any single person and that I can't hang out with my single friends, male or female unless he thought they were trustworthy. Why? Because I was naive and didn't understand how people's brains work and that anytime someone talks to me, it's because they want me, not because they are being friendly. And me not seeing that was proving how naive I was. Mind you, I've had these friends for YEARS before I met this guy and none of them had EVER tried anything when I was single or in a relationship. But now that I was with him they suddenly became scum? And his justification was he just didn't want any of them to put me in a position to cheat.😑
Yeah. I work at a DV shelter, shit always starts like this. Don’t wear that. Stop talking to that friend. We don’t need to visit your parents this year. You don’t need to go to work, leave it to me. You should let me have your phone password. You should let me have your phone. You don’t need a phone. On and on. Give it enough time and you have a homicide.
i think her sharing those texts is important. i was in multiple relationships like this and am just now coming to terms with the fact that it was manipulation and abuse. i think it’s important to let others know what this can look like and to pay attention to red flags.
Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
@@SwiftJustice-uy9tbpeople should definitely be shamed for abuse. That's how they would get help tbh. If your a shitty human to someone who your supposed to love dam right you deserved to be shamed. However the way she did it was definitely not the best especially with how soon it came after the break up really petty and immature tbh
Boundaries are not "You do this to make me feel better". Boundaries are "Here's what I'm going to do to make me more comfortable". That being said, a lot of people make a lot of stipulations and ultimatums under the guise of controlling others behavior and call them boundaries.
Love that he tells her she can’t surf with men or post pics in a swimsuit or to model at all ... when her literal job is to be a surfing model. Lol. I would be like hey bro why are you with me?
Can you read? Do you see the words? It is written "if you need..." It is never written YOU CANNOT SURF WITH MEN. It is never written YOU CANNOT POST BIKINI PICTURES. and if you ask: "bUt WhY pUrSuE SuRfEr then?!?!?" it was a fling that became serious. sometimes, people get sobering realization into a relationship that values differ from their partner and it cannot continue. you know, it is really common occurrence??? You fell in a love with someone, 1.5 year later you talk about the kids and realize you are off the page. but you still stick hoping they change. then, 4 years later, you give another try and person is still the same. what do you do? You cannot handle it and leave. People do this all the time. They stick to see if the values will change, but sometimes IT SIMPLY DOESNT HAPPEN. and you don't have to stay in that relationship. if they don't want it, they don't want it. You want it and then you pursue it somewhere else. PERIOD.
@@makstracy 😂😂 I conquer, I was just about to be like hey toni, who hurt you bro? You ok, man? Lol. Not sure what else to expect from someone named Toni cuck cock? Holy shit, Really? That’s not real... that can’t be real. 🙃🙃🙃
Love your content as always! I have a take on this Therapy Speak debockle that could be a bit unpopular but I think it's important to mention as a lot of older people are trying to learn healthy communication for the first time after 20 or even 30+ years of horrible patterns: This is not at all to say that what Jonah did was right, but it's very possible that he really thought he was executing "healthy communication" correctly. I know when I first started therapy I got boundaries ALL wrong, and the misinformation online about boundaries and therapy language doesn't help but eventually I got the right information. My first attempts at healthy communication and relationships were clunky as hell and I would do it SO different today with close to 5 years under my belt. After watching several friends/family go thru this too, it's my experience that a lot of people really don't understand that boundaries are about YOUR response. "If you do this, then I will remove myself." Not about controlling other people, but about setting limits on what YOU will accept and staying strong on the response you choose. Like all things, this is a skill that does take time to learn and one of the more frustrating things is that there is no way to learn in a bubble totally alone. You practice with your therapist, but most sessions are once a week, less than an hour, and you rarely have real world conflicts with your therapist to practice with. If you are lucky, you have people around you who will patiently go thru the ups and downs with you until you get it right. Again, no excuses at all for Jonah, but I just want to be careful about how we talk about misusing "therapy speak" and expecting perfection from humans who are learning. Obviously the stakes are a lot lower for normal people who aren't creators or entertainers and I just don't want to encourage an "all or nothing" or perfectionist mindset about Therapy, as that could lead to a completely different type of self loathing if you're already trying to work on your confidence.
I cannot imagine getting upset with someone I’m in a relationship with posting images of themselves doing something they’re passionate about even if they’re wearing next to no clothes. I’d be like “fuck yeah you look amazing and you are talented af and wow you like me that’s crazy now let’s make out”. Come on!!! He needs to get a better therapist who makes him uncomfortable so he stops taking out his insecurities on other people.
Demand implicates insistance. And here - there was no insisting. "If you need that - pursue it. not with me though." Clear exit is given. Nothing HAS TO BE DONE. NOTHING IS A MUST. everything is conditional. You are not obliged to be in a relationship that makes you insecure. You are not obliged to make crucial life changes because someone else is insecure. He is free to pursue a woman that will not cause him those insecuirities. And he did, and he got it. She is free to be with a guy that is compatible with her career lifestyle.
@@tonikukoc1451 you gonna glide over the fact he knit picked her pictures and told her to delete totally reasonable pics? He was trying to see what he can get away with. They broke up so she respected his "boundaries" in the end. We should not condone controlling behavior imo
@@tonikukoc1451if he had problems with her surfing or wearing bikini, then why did he dated a girl that surfs and wear bikini? You can't just tell someone you love them, drag them for 2 year long relationship, then tell him or her do these or I will leave. That manipulative behavior. He is trying to destroy her whole career.
@@hottea6512 It is "totally reasonable" to YOU. But you are not Jonah Hill though. It is not "totally reasonable" to him. You can criticize and impose what is generally "totally reasonable" but it doesn't matter - because you conduct your relationships your way, he does it his way. "buT WhY hE SliDe inTo hEr DM?" Because he wanted a hookup. And hookup became something serious. And values of "something serious" are not the same values of "hookup". He is not OK with his wife posting those photos. And he is willing to explore other options which won't do that. That's his right. Controlling behaviour? My GF requested me to delete my Instagram. Do I consider that behaviour controlling? No, I don't because I am mature enough to realize why she asked that and I valued her happiness and our bond more over selfishness of online validation for strangers. you maybe do not and that is your right, which is if you meet guy like that, you will ditch him and keep the instagram.
@@koyelimukherjee.3115 Do people like you think long term relationships are something linear where people expose everything on the first date and both people are open books about their values, life goals, expectations? are you for real? It doesn't work like that. Sometimes, some relationships are just fueled by sexual attraction for 2 years and there is never ever time for a "life talk" or "what is annoying to you about me?" He didn't try to destroy anything. He said he couldn't handle what she does for a long term marriage relationship. Period. He said "If you need that, I am going to explore other options" If you are capable of reading - clear exit is given. Nothing has to be done. She can decide a) change the career path and pursue the relationship and family with Jonah Hill b) exit the relationship and pursue the career. It might annoy you that he is giving the ultimatums and that he is trying to course a relationship - but that is what people do. And if you partner has alternative options - they will explore them. Relationship is agreement between the two people. Emphasis on agreement. There is no forcing something upon other throat. That is the actual abuse. Jonal Hill situation was not abuse.
honestly, men like jonah are some of the most insidious abusers- the type of guy that acts outwardly progressive but essentially uses that to further their manipulation/abuse. it makes it so much harder to come out as a victim because no one wants to believe the "nice" guy isn't actually nice. it even makes it harder sometimes to realize the abuse because it's disguised under language that sounds progressive.
And besides they broke up 2 years ago why she even bringing this up after he moved on and had a child with a different women like cmon now think she could’ve did this within 2 years and this mf’s opinion in his video make no sense at all because all he did was jump to conclusions and misjudged Jonah when he don’t even know how Jonah really is
yeah bcs what the fk do you mean tell someone “i need to go speak to my bf “ when another dude approachs u its dripping with low self esteem and lack of confidence wether that be in the partner or themselves (but hey im not a therapist i woudnt know 😭👍)
To people who think she shouldn't have said it publicly: Sometimes you have to expose a person for anyone to believe you As someone who made the mistake of ending two separate abusive relationships trying to be quiet about it, if you don't warn other people about this behavior, the other person can and will use that against you and make mutual friends either harass or guilt you into thinking you're wrong because they don't have the full context. And usually they won't believe you if you tell them after because the other person will spin it as "if I was *really* like that, why would they only tell you after they were called out on being shitty?"
I hope a lot of people take this to heart. nothing was more devastating than having a mutual friend tell me i should apologize to my abusive ex. i never even found out specifically what i was supposed to apologize for, but ex definitely spun whatever narrative was necessary to villainize me for leaving the relationship. if you keep quiet, they'll only use that to make you the "guilty" one
wow you are dumb. Just explain to me, how or WHY would Jonah would have come after her, like she is going after him, when first of all, she IS A NOBODY, and second, he clearly stated his boundaries, and then said, if you can't handle them I'm out... and that's it. If she couldn't handle his boundaries, she should've said that and end the relationship,.. yet here we are with her acting like a sore loser, because she probably felt rejected by someone like Jonah.... what you are explaining is what Jonah should've done BEFORE this TOXIC hoe grabbed a hold of the narrative and dragged his name all over the internet like you are saying that toxic people do you dumba_ss. And to give you a little more perspective, here I'll copy paste what I shared in a different thread and why you are all so wrong about this: Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
Im completely on the side of outiting private conversations with abusive behaviors. Abusers often rely on social boundaries like "not airing out their dirty laundry" while abusing you in private; also while often more then willing to violate these boundaries themselves if they think they can get away with it. There's no point playing by rules when the person hurting you doesn't care about said rules or is just using them to their advantage to hide who they truly are. Fight back effectively; the high road maintains the status quo
He met her by sliding into her DMs because of one of those pictures that he thought was inappropriate. He was legit insecure that another man would do exactly what he did and she would find someone better than him. He was making her responsible for his insecurity. I get that he has some issues (probably trauma) from being the fat guy who lost weight in Hollywood, given how sh***y the media is about body issues, but dude, go grab Chris Pratt and commiserate about it, don’t be a controlling freak.
the part after the disney XD lmao i cant. seriously he looked like a narcissist in those messages. He needs to expand HIS boundaries not the other way around 😭
The thing that annoys me so much about this situation is that boundaries are not things you say to shape others behavior, it’s communicating how YOU will respond to a behavior/situation that you are not comfortable with. A boundary is not “don’t do x” it’s “I will have to leave the room if you do x.” Jonah Hill can have whatever boundaries he wants, he can choose to not be in a relationship with someone who posts swimsuit pictures or whatever, but he has no right to make that HER problem. Like don’t start a relationship with a surfer if your boundary is you can’t be around someone who surfs. Also seconding some comments I’ve already seen here but as a therapist it fucking blew my mind a psychiatrist would make a video with their client. That is so wildly unethical. I’m sure they covered their bases legally but that therapist should have declined to do it. The fact that he did not makes me question his judgement.
I find it funnier as I remember Jonah hill as the incel villain in megamind
He’s definitely a villain, just not a SUPER one✋😑🤚
HELP
Megamind was ahead of its time, especially for 2010/2011.
he is just in secret
IM SHAKING IN MY CUSTOM BABY SEAL LEATHER BOOTS!
I don't get how straight people can ask their partners to not have friends of the opposite gender. I'm bi, does that mean I can't be friends with ANYONE if i'm in a relationship??
That’s a great point. which tbh is why sometimes men and women will avoid dating bi people: because of their own insecurities. It sucks :/
Yes, that's exactly how people like that think; if you were dating them, you would not be "allowed" to have friends of a sex/gender/orientation that's sexually/emotionally compatible with you.
That's assuming they'd even "accept" the fact you're bi to begin with; biphobia and bi erasure is pretty prevalent, even within the LGibbity Committee
Yup, go isolate yourself
Every time I've dated a guy who has close friends with a female, the relationship ended due to their affinity for said friend. Everyone is allowed to have different boundaries, but close female friends are a no for me. My current boyfriend is even destroying my allowance of female acquaintances, because he's lying about texting them when we are together knowing I'm insecure, creating more insecurity. So next dude I date just won't associate with other females, because I'm not dealing with this again.
@@Alixir1228babe you’re picking really terrible men you shouldn’t have to set those kind of ridiculous rules to get your partner to care about you and your feelings. That’s not love.
I dated a guy like this in college who was upset by my dance photos (I’m a former professional ballerina) and would tell me to wear a jacket whenever I went out because he didn’t want anyone looking at me. He literally told me he’d dress me in a potato sack if he could. I’m honestly so proud of her for sharing this publicly because she’s likely saving other women from getting into a relationship with this guy as well as helping other women recognize the signs of a manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship.
he already moved on and is having a kid. is she trying to warn his new gf?
If he had different values or boundaries, then you should respect that and gone ur own path n break up
@@Zyrock exactly preach. everyone is different. just becuse they couldent make it work becuse of differences does not mean they are bad people or abusers.
But man, don’t date someone who dances (or surfs) if you have an issue with people seeing their body. Don’t date someone to change them.
@@elleumm yep that was kinda dumb of him
Truth is we also don’t know a lot of things about their relationship or even either of two individuals
The fact that so many people are jumping straight to conclusions/assumptions is kinda cringe
They need a life honestly 😂
For people who dont think it's ever ok to post private texts, please remember that women are NEVER believed (most victims arent) and we're screamed at until we end up sharing texts/DMs anyway.
And then everyone is like "well why didnt she share it in the first place?" or whatever
Anyone whos been victimized in the past (even just having a bully or something) knows you have to have evidence ready AT THE TIME you say anything about it or youre going to get harassed 100x worse.
She ain't a victim, could've left anytime.
You put real victims to shame.
@@Saskfinest1Sometimes it can be really hard to leave abusive relationships. You're the one putting victims to shame by saying "well she can just leave any time."
@@cynister7384 she's not a victim. He didn't have a gun to her head. There was no violence at all and he didn't even call her a single name. He pretty much says "we are not compatible" and that's apparently being a "victim"?
It sounds like you haven't been through anything real.
@@Saskfinest1 Emotional abuse and manipulative behavior is still abuse. Maybe you just have a narrow view of the world.
@@cynister7384 no, there was no emotional abuse or manipulation. He literally told her straight up what it was. It's also really convenient that she left out all her text in the one's she leaked.
How is that manipulation? Was he supposed to stay with her? You all want to be treated like an independent boss woman but a man breaks up with a woman and it's abuse? Are you children or strong and independent?
Once again, you've never been through real manipulation and emotional abuse if you think this is it.
No, simply the fact that he's almost 40 dating someone who's 25 is enough. "Don't play the 25 card" don't date a 25 year old if you expect them to act 35!! Date someone your own age if you want someone on your level of maturity and in your stage of life.
I’m older than 25 and the thought of dating a 40+ year old makes me retch. Why do those guys never find someone their own age?
@@becca53444
"Young girls are like helpless children in the hands of amorous men, whatever is said to them is true and whatever manipulation on their bodies seems like love to them, sooner or later, they come back to their senses, but the scars are not dead inasmuch as her spoiler lives"
Women see the flags and bolt quicker than girls
@@becca53444women older have more life experience and are harder to manipulate so it's only natural that people like that would seek younger girls even if just subconsciously.
@@smokeagummybear she ain't trying to control them tho? She literally said dont date someone younger if you don't want them to be less ''mature''
Let's not act like he's more mature than her
I love how Jonah’s therapist literally did the most unethical thing a therapist could do… let their client make a film about them?? Absolutely bonkers that no one has talked about how wildly inappropriate the movie is.
Meanwhile, my cold, empty heart immediately thought "I bet Jonah writes off all his therapy now, as research." Yes, I'm a monster. Thank you for noticing.
Some Kind of Monster be like
If this is the therapist teaching hill about “boundaries” it’s no wonder he has no clue what he’s talking about because his own therapist doesn’t seem to know what dr/patient boundaries are. As someone getting a degree in psychology this is wildly unethical for him to do this-- just creates a weird power dynamic and conflicts of interest. Clearly not a very good therapist if you don’t know something like this is inherently wrong
how
My therapist showed me a section of that movie during therapy 🫠 in the process of switching therapists lol
He is the actual personification of Taylor Tomlinson’s bit in one of her Netflix specials. She reversed the genders to make the point but it’s basically “I want someone with drive, goals, ambition, and accomplishments… And then I want them to give all of that up for me.”
Classic “if you ACTUALLY love me, you’ll get rid of everything else in your life that beings you any happiness/fulfillment whatsoever.”
🎶 "Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world/I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, and Girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun." 🎶
“Omg guys he just set a BOUNDARY.” This is her job???? She’s not even posing in most of these pictures and videos. She’s a SURF MODEL. Did he expect her to completely abandon her career cause she started dating him?? He’s 39 years old acting like a 16 year old boy
As a therapist, I would love it if people could remember that therapists are people and can be FUCKING. WRONG. Check their goddamn qualifications. Check the regulatory bodies they belong to, and the guidelines that these bodies set for therapists. Check your rights as clients. And for the love of GOD, THERAPISTS SHOULD NOT BE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO. They should not be “INSTRUCTING” shit! It’s supposed to be a collaborative relationship where they offer their psychological knowledge and expertise and make suggestions based on this, and if those suggestions don’t feel right, you figure out something else TOGETHER.
Therapists can challenge you. They can disagree with you. They should not be telling you what to do. They should not be guilt tripping you.
And don’t use BetterHelp. Okay, thanks. *Steps off soapbox*.
How long did it take you to be a therapist?
Fr my friend wants to break up with her therapist because all the therapist does is essentially say "You're rewatching old YT videos because you're gonna take yourself off the census soon" and then proceeds to shove the hotlines down my friend's throat like that's gonna do anything constructive.
Yes! Thank you! I unfortunately had issues with therapists in the past, it made everything even worse. Just because they’re a therapist doesn’t automatically make them a good person or right. If you don’t like them, try someone else. It can be so frustrating and tiring trying to find the right one, but it’s so worth it. Finding the right one can be life changing!
Yep so true just like everybody else everybody can be bad at their profession or a monster and have a job That's true for everyone I don't know why people think doctors therapists the government police everybody's supposed to be God like because they're certainly not
genuinly curious, whats wrong with betterhelp? i always see youtubers promoting it and have wondered if its a good or bad service.
I think we should normalize sharing evidence of abuse from abusers no matter what type of abuser they are.
yes! abusers thrive in secrecy
agreed
There would be no one left in Hollywood then you’d have to stop watching every movie and show because it’ll either have an abuser in it or be created/directed by one I think it’s weird to share private massages you could just say “___ was toxic and manipulative”
And we should also stop labeling everything people do that we don’t like as “abuse” 😂
@@Me-yf9ltthose weren't boundaries, those were demands
At first I was like “yeah that’s fine if he doesn’t want his girlfriend posting bikini pics online”, but then those texts escalated so fast to him forbidding her from speaking to other men at all or being NEAR them in the water. And the endless bragging about what a “good” boyfriend he was to her screams narcissism. Not to mention she’s a surfer, so it was dumb to date a girl who posts pictures in swimsuits on a normal basis because it’s part of her job, then think she’s gonna completely change just for him. Maybe don’t date surfers if you don’t like that??
Then maybe you shouldn’t demand anything of men including them not cheating on you. That’s abuse
@@garyoakham9723 So to you wearing a one piece on a beach as a surfer is same as cheating?
@@garyoakham9723I’m sorry Einstein, I thought the point of being in an established relationship was monogamy and the “not cheating” part kinda sorta just speaks for itself.
@@garyoakham9723Maidenless behavior. Incelious manicus trying to be all "alpha", lol.
^^^
"I'm dating a mermaid boy and he loves me!"
The sinigle greatest quote from Cooper
Honestly, even IRL I can only imagine Jonah Hill as the mushed-together embodiment of every shitty/immature character he's ever played
Bro facts
A lot of fat people unfortunately struggle with feeling like they have to put on a goofy/immature affect to be the “likable fat goofball.” My guess is he’s incredibly insecure.
Actors are too true to their type-casts 😂
@@b00gerbutt Gross. Fat actors and actresses don’t choose to be type cast into stereotype roles.
@@cjboyo I didn’t mean it like that 😬
What annoys me the most is that every time he's "expressing his boundaries" he ends up with a threat to breaking up with her if she doesn't do what he just told her to do, in an extreme manipulative way!
@@truetrannyis, but not when ure going DO THIS! OR ELSE as a threat, if u dk now u know, if youre purposely trolling i hope u know how ignorant and buffoonish u look rn
@@truetranny The issue isn't him simply breaking up with her. If he wanted to break up with her he would say "I don't think I can date you cuz of *these reasons*, I understand you love them but I really cant handle it, sorry" or something.
What he said is basically "do this or ill break up with you" which is a threat, that's not ok. get the difference?
@@truetranny maybe get a dictionary because a threat doesn’t just mean threatening someone’s life. it’s just some bad outcome if you do/don’t do something. and yes, him breaking up with her would actually be enforcing a boundary because boundaries are limits you set for yourself. it’s not about controlling your partner because you’re insecure
@@grasstastesbadthank you someone reasonable here
My first boyfriend was kinda like him.
I remember how he would threaten me.
He forced me to have s3x with him. He threatened to break up with me if I didn't "give it to him". At first he used to threatened to cheat on me because I didn't "satisfy" him.
Eventually one day he locked me in his room, got me undressed and refused to let me go until he got what he allegedly deserved.
That was very traumatizing to me, especially because I was 15, a Virgin and scared. He didn't care about how I felt, It was painful and horrible... he broke up with me and I went ages with sexual trauma, self hatred and insecurities.
So in conclusion stay away from men, these types of men are the worst kind of abusers, they start of by abusing you emotionally then it progresses to sexual then physically/domestic violence
Sorry I just trauma dumped on you
as someone who has a bachelors in counseling it absolutely BAFFLES me that a counselor would have her agree to paddle away from men that come near her to make him more comfortable ?! like hm maybe talk about the root of why that makes him uncomfortable and find a way to reassure him in ways that are REASONABLE as well as making it known how it makes HER feel about it too.
Dude he probably found a therapist that matches his idiology and stopped going to those who told him that he was shity
@@pixiedust1999 yeah i get that but i’m just saying that the fact that there are therapists like that in the first place is ridiculous and completely goes against the code of ethics
This whole situation with the surfing thing is kind of like getting a pet bird because you like hearing it sing, but then once you get it you don’t want it to sing anymore because other people *might* hear it and want to have it for themselves. She’s a human, not a bird. But damnit, let her spread her wings.
Isn’t that a fairytale? I swear that it is.
@@leileyaravencroftI think it's "the Nightingale?" I don't remember a lot about it, but this comment reminded me of it too.
dude the fact that SO many insecure, immature people on social media are not just defending him wholeheartedly but actively shitting on her actually scares the hell out of me, like this is not the norm and i’m so sick of reading comments from men saying she should just shut up and adhere to what he’s DEMANDING her to do because it “could be worse”.
She's backing up the idea that he is abusive, too. He was accused of assaulting a Disney actress when she was 16 at a party.
because they’re abusive, and they’re seeing their actions reflected by someone else and being called out
Would love these men to have their pictures policed
Yeah that's actually the scariest part of all this to me, how it's summoning all these freaky incels out of the woodwork
The internet is an excuse for bad behavior.
My list of 11 boundaries/rules for my future partner:
1. No being in the same room as other people without me (if you're bi like me then you could cheat with anyone)
2. No speaking with other people. You must exit every interaction with "STAY AWAY FOWL BEAST. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!"
3. You must abandon all hobbies and interest even though I decided to date you when you had all of those interests.
4. No talking to family. I don't know them so they could still be a threat (especially if you're from Alabama)
5. No taking pictures and posting them unless it is to our private couples account with my approval (we have no followers)
6. You're not allowed to look in the mirror. Looking at yourself is a form of cheating.
7. No coughing. I don't like the sound.
8. Must agree to be surgically attached to my hip so we can be one entity.
9. Must fake your death and change your name so none of your friends try to talk to you (they are a bad influence).
10. Cannot have any pets or children because loving anything other than me is cheating.
11. You are not allowed to look at me when we're in public because you might see someone else in the reflection of my eyes (again, that's cheating).
Not sure why I am still single. I'm just too nice I guess.
Idk seems reasonable to me, go queen!!! ✨👑💅 /jk
Just to be safe, i'd also throw in: 'can only eat foods they hate, because eating foods you love is cheating'
I'm sure one day you'll find a partner, your boundaries seem reasonable enough so that can't be it! /jk
someone out there is really this crazy
* whispers * fam fowl are birds
@@sentientplant9658 * whispers back * Ah shit. Typo. Do you think it will affect my chances?
Him being Hal in Megamind suddenly feels so much more fitting
It's so bizarre to me that he feels like asking her to quit surfing (where she is occasionally in the vicinity of other men) is somehow a reasonable ask, but you know that if she asked him to quit acting, where he regularly kisses and pantomimes sex with other women, he would lose his shit. If you are not approving of your partner's occupation/passion, just break up; asking them to quit is to ask them to give up who they are just to assuage your own insecurity, and it's so damaging and unhealthy.
Infuriating when women just existing is treated as a thirst trap
I see it all the time on videos of women working out. God forbid we be reminded that women also have body parts, and them wearing tight clothing or filming from a back angle literally does not matter 🙄
Men do kinda treat it like they are though
@@technounionrepresentative4274 don’t generalize cornball
That fact that Jonah has a daughter now is so concerning. I can’t imagine how much of a controlling father he’s gonna be
He's clearly a misogynist.. It's gonna be rough.
@@Raev222 jonah isnt anti woman lmfao just beacuse he doesnt want his girl showing her booty to everyone
@@samiyoddinmohammed1202dating a surfer and then demanding she changes and stops posting surfing videos is the definition of a controlling double standard. Stay being a pick me.
I can't believe someone actually procreated with that man-baby.
A KID?!?? Oh dear
No friend or romantic interest has a right to tell you who to hang out with. It's a massive red flag. They can express that "hey, I get a little worried when you're around so many attractive guys when I've been ridiculed for my looks all my life, it makes me wonder if you'll leave me." And the gf's response would ideally be, "I'm with you because I want to be with you, I've been around those surfer bros for decades and they don't interest me, here's what I like about you:..." And that would have been a respectful, honest, and vulnerable conversation to have. THIS, however, is a narcissistic nightmare .
Those aren't boundaries
Boundaries are the standards of which you're willing to be treated
They are not demanding your partner to do certain behaviors
Yes boundary - "I refuse to accept being spoken to like I don't matter"
Not a boundary - "I refuse to let you do the hobbies and sports that you're passionate about because I don't trust you to not cheat on me"
Just because someone is a therapist does NOT mean they’re a good person or right. A lot of them can be narcissistic or struggling with issues themselves. It’s so dangerous because they make people like Jonah feel like they’re in the right and doing the healthy thing
Yeah, there's actually a lot of therapists who would score decently high on the sociopath scale. Dr. K on CZcams has explained why that is in a bit more detail but basically sociopaths are able to shut off their emotions easier. And stay detached. Which makes for being a good therapist. Obviously they do still have some empathy... But being able to detach yourself from the situation and potentially very strong emotions is beneficial to therapists. And can actually make them decently good therapists. We can also make them bad as well, for sure.
I got my doctor to admit that most of her patients who are therapists have the most messed up lives.
My friend and her (now ex) husband went to couples therapy, this (woman) therapist always took the husbands side and it baffled me bc I saw him act downright abusive in person to her many times and it made me have a distrust towards therapists for a while, even still.
I had a therapist that immediately assumed i was some sort of narcissist because she saw an old diagnosis that was removed because i didnt meet the criteria for borderline personality disorder. I told her my doctor removed it because i dont meet criteria and she can call him and confirm but she wouldnt. I was given that diagnosis by a pissed off case manager when I was 16 and in an abusive relationship with no parents. He literally gave me the diagnosis while yelling at me because i wanted to go back in patient after just getting out and he was mad he had to do paperwork. Anyway she treated me like a narcissist, twisted everything I said, tried to tell me i cant form bonds etc and I was there fighting for my daughter...it made me never want to see a therapist again
there's also the fact that a therapist often is only getting one side of things and a patient can be telling them information that paints the situation in an entirely different way (to their own detriment cus why u in therapy to not grow at all as a person)
Speaking as a therapist, your mocking description of Johnah Hill’s therapist describing why he is making a Netflix documentary is EXACTLY CORRECT. It baffled me when this documentary came out and I used it as an opportunity to discuss the ethics of it with my therapy students.
If based on this situation, you really think Jonah is on the wrong here, I wouldn't go to you for help for shit. That's for sure.
to provide you a little context, here I'm copy pasting what I shared in a different thread:
Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
@@love7love I think you’re confused about the meaning of the word “context.” You wrote an impressively long and passionate exposition in defense of Jonah Hill and in hostile condemnation of his girlfriend….none of which, unfortunately, gave any semblance of context to my original statement…
I never commented on Jonah Hill, his girlfriend, nor his texts and their contents (which I do absolutely find concerning, however, this is ironically the first I’ve commented on any of the things you attempted to argue in your response to my original comment).
My original comment related to the ethics of the therapist’s decision to so egregiously publicize his therapeutic relationship with a client and exploit it for financial gain. It’s a common ethical dilemma on a massively dangerous scale. I’m unsure of where you pulled your “context” from, or where you saw me give any opinion on Jonah Hill, at all…but it couldn’t possibly have been from my original comment. I hope I was able to clear up your confusion. Cheers.
@@love7love bruh take a breath and reread the comment posted here because you are comin way out of left field about shit no one was talking about. THE COMMENT IS ABOUT THE THERAPISTS BEHAVIOR NOT JONAH HILLS
@@izzy6699👏🏼
Jonah has always given 'the world's oldest toddler' vibe, and apparently, he takes that SDE into his relationships, the poor women xx
That’s why you crippled
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and he would set "boundaries" just like this. it eventually ended in DV, and I wound up with a black eye.
please, if someone treats you like this listen to the warning signs.
As someone who left my emotionally abusive husband, I can understand why she'd want to share the texts publicly. I had to learn the hard way what manipulation and gaslighting and abuse looks like, endured it for 5 years and thought I was always the problem. Sharing the abuse publicly means other women/people in similar situations may recognize it and start the process of healing themselves and removing themselves from those situations.
And to be fair it really has brought awareness. Whenever I hear a guy use “boundaries”, “gaslight” and “respect” in conversation or texts I’m out, my last bf said I needed to take “accountability” for the way my last two relationships ended (they were physically and mentally abusive and I got out so…) and I was like “BYE”.
i agree, you get that feeling that you need a second opinion on a situation because “that’s clearly abusive and hurts my feelings, but maybe i’m wrong and can’t really trust myself”
exactly! she specifically addresses her intended audience too and specifically is trying to get the "if he does this, leave" message across
YES.
If u think him setting boundaries is abusive you’re dumb. She was free to leave. If u want a rich actor bf then act like it.
Someone said “A lot of men see their own disrespect for a woman as a lack of self respect on her part” and boy I wish I saw less examples of that being true.
OMG THIS
Yeah it happens with a lot of things, its called projecting. when someone (usually narcissistic) characterize the people around them based off their own internal issues instead of how the other personal actually feels/thinks. Its a mental work around done subconsciously to avoid personal accountability and to avoid confronting insecurties.
@@KreamCheeCucumberI wouldn't say usually narcissistic. Projection is a normal part of the human experience, and everyone does it, to different levels. Anxiety and depression usually comes with a LOT of projection, and comparison. People with a severe lack of self-awareness are usually like this.
@@kenjyn76 you know what, I totally agree with you. Its a coping mechanism used by many struggling with mental illness of any form. I'm guilty of it myself. I was wrong to say usually narcissists. But I wish more people were educated around it so that they could break a cycle.
You are changing my worldview right here and now 😯
The one about her female friends from her "wild past" is so, so manipulative and i have trouble putting into words why it's so obviously total bullshit to any woman who has ever had an even mildly controlling male partner. Like, one of their most effective and most used manipulation tactics is their judging of your friends and isolating you from them. They always justify it by saying your friends are wild and a bad influence. Of course he gets to decide whether someone is stable or not.
But if you have a friend that's a bad influence is that something you can't mention?
I went on a holiday with some mates and 3 of them cheated and none of them held each other accountable. They all had telltale signs of being prats and were genuinely incredibly bad influences on one another.
It would've been pretty reasonable for their partners to bring this up.
@@hotshower695 of course there's nuance to this and I'm not saying no one has ever had unstable or disloyal friends who are a bad influence. Yes that happens. Yes sometimes a partner might have a valid reason to say I'm not comfortable with you hanging out with that person, especially doing x-y-z (like going out drinking). There aren't many situations that are always either good or bad.
But this is also a very common isolation & abuse tactic. It's especially obvious in the context of all his other demands, but it's not always so clear either. Honestly, it's gotta be a pretty serious issue to justify telling your partner who they can and can't be friends with, because a relationship should be built on trust. If you can't trust your partner, that's a problem with the relationship, not with their friends. I mean you can dislike your partner's friends, but unless the partner has given you a reason not to trust them it's usually not justifiable to tell them who they can have as a friend. If they have a problem with all or most of your friends that's an even bigger red flag.
If it's an issue of you worrying about them cheating when they're out with their friends, that's more of a relationship issue. I can think of times when it would be an issue specifically with a certain friend or friend group though - for example if your partner struggles with drug or alcohol abuse and their friends are always pressuring them to go out and party. Then I would say it's understandable to say hey, these people put you into situations that make it harder for your recovery and I don't think you should be around them. It's a nuanced issue, like I said. But if you just think they're going to cheat if they go out with these friends, it seems like you probably just shouldn't be in that relationship. If my husband had a group of friends who tried to get him to go do things I wouldn't be ok with, I trust that he'd tell them to fuck off. And if he didn't, well that's a problem with him and our relationship, not his friends.
Relationships are complex and there's never an easy black and white answer to anything. It's why they're so difficult. But that doesn't change the fact that there are a lot of controlling people (both men and women but my experience has been mostly with men) who use this seemingly reasonable justification for slowly isolating their partner from their friends and family. Which again is a common abuse tactic. It's the first step in a controlling abusive relationship. I've experienced it before and I've seen several friends go through it even worse. It's usually a red flag, but again, especially in the context that we see with the rest of his unreasonable demands.
@@hotshower695 Again, sir-if you TRUST someone, you don’t worry about that shit. A good relationship is built on TRUST. You are projecting a whole lot with your little stories here.
@@MissSeaShell sure sure, I understand you. That's a reasonable take
@@ruthie8785 Ruthie, I'm describing a scenario where someone's trust is abused.
If someone tells you "my partner cheated", is your advice gonna be "in future trust your partner, it's healthy"? How useful will that be.
Sounds like you have the privilege of never having encountered anything like this before. Hopefully it stays that way so you can continue with being unconcerned or unprepared for anything bad happening. 👍
Damn, my parents are getting divorced because of relationship dynamics startingly similar to this. My "dad" eventually got physically abusive and assaulted multiple of my family members, but besides that he was controlling in almost the exact same way wtf. It's crazy seeing all the comments on this video saying they went through something similar as well, not to mention all the irl ppl we've met who heard the first few sentences of our story and went "oh yeah that happened to me too". Shit like this is waaaaay too common, thanks for spreading awareness with this video. Hopefully now at least a few ppl won't stay in a toxic relationship after seeing it and stories like it.
when i see people more angry about the fact that she shared the texts than the fact that he emotionally abused her i know they’ve got shit they’re hiding, immediate red flag
How is this "emotional abuse"? You've seen nothing that she sent, as she didn't want that to be seen. You ppl are so pathetic.
@@tomsnowden6201You’re so pathetic” you say as you incessantly angry post comments on this guy’s page. Get a life.
@@tomsnowden6201 oh great another ab*ser getting mad in the comments. from the texts he sent it's clear he's controlling lmao and not setting boundaries. I could say "I don't want you to eat food ever again that's just my boundary :(" but that would make me a bad person without question.
@@kaskaskas And I could choose to leave your ass..You see how that works? You can choose to make choices with your life😂
@@tomsnowden6201 He literally 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 her, verbally 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 her by yelling, he controlled her every movement, he even had to PERSONALLY APPROVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHE HAD CONTACT WITH, even if it was for 5 minutes, she WASN'T ALLOWED to TALK to men, NOR her own friends without his permission. He guilt tripped her into doing whatever he wanted her to do, he isolated her by not allowing her to see her friends because he got insecure about it, and made her even remove photos or videos because it made him insecure even though the videos and photos that were deleted weren't even 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 or anything.
Are you really defending him and calling people pathetic just because we recognize the 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘦 and 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯?????
The 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤 one here is you, who falls for his basic 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, or maybe you're defending him because you're just exactly like him, a toxic, immature and 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 man who acts like a little cry baby when other people don't do exactly what they say.
Grow up.
I dated a tattoo artist with a lot of female friends, and he obviously tattooed people of all sexes. we ended up breaking up for multiple reasons, but partially because i couldn’t handle his lifestyle and it was okay. We broke up on good terms. He still does my tattoos and we are still friends to this day. He is married now, and has a kid on the way with somebody who can handle his lifestyle. This is how healed people who have actually been in therapy their whole lives handle something like this, looking at you, Jonah.
THIS! She was already a surfer when he started dating her and tried to change her whole lifestyle to stroke his ego!
That is how you handle that! Power to you and I think it's really cool that you still get tattoos from him!
YESSSSSS MORE ppl like uuuuuu ❤
Kudos to you for being introspective and knowing that that was a you issue. I think a lot of people wouldn’t have been mature enough to see that.
All genders*
you have honestly effectively therapized me more in ur videos then therapists ever have in my life 😭
Thank you for making a point about Tom and Zendaya. I don’t understand why so many people were criticizing Zendaya for literally *doing her job* as an actress acting in a movie.
Would love if you talked more about that!
I found is ridiculous that the information she shared with the world literally outs Jonah Hill as a minipulative, self-centred jerkface and some people are still like, "it's mean to share texts" and "why are you trying to ruin this millionnaire's life". Can we just agree that she should absolutely be able to share how mentally abusive someone in the public sphere is and warn other women about as well.
The same people that then laugh at millionaries dying in a submarine, right? Lol people justifying or enabling evil people must be even worse than the evil people themselves.
Same, like if hes proud enough to be controlling she shld be able to come out with her truth esp if its to this extent to help others on the way, and also hes a multimillionaire people will simp for their emotional support rich person even when no way around it for a certain situation
You obviously have never been in a relationship if you think those texts were out of line. Anyway enjoy living and dying alone.
@@kimbercustompro1911If you think those are an example of a healthy relationship I feel sorry for you
@@Andkshsnsjsbsh Honesty!? Yes I do feel that's important. Furthermore I never stated that I thought it was a healthy relationship, how can it be when one of the partners in said relationship is obviously a conceited whore. Feel sorry for me all you want I'm in a long term relationship with a woman who I trust, who also agrees that Jonah Hill's texts were perfectly acceptable. Compatibility is extremely important and often overlooked aspect of any healthy relationship. If you're not compatible with your partner than you'd be doing both them and yourself a disservice by not stating as much and allowing the relationship to actually devolve into something that is toxic and not just perceived to be by a society that idolizes victim culture.
this really just goes to prove just how oversexualized women and girls are NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO!! those photos/videos are so far away that you can’t even see any ass or cleavage or anything. they’re basically sexualizing a silhouette atp. also i genuinely can’t stand this idea of “instagram cheating” that has come about where women just posting “sexy” picture of themselves on insta is considered cheating?? like what?? half the time they’re not even sexy either, they’re just sexualized becquse it’s a woman. like you can just be standing there and still be called a whore, while men would literally get hard from a rock that has curves like a woman.
I agree, but if you believe this you also have to hold that the guy (or in another case, another person you're dating of another gender) is not cheating simply for liking pics. But I'm not the type of person who thinks looking is cheating. Talking to them regularly however...
@@EEsCZcamsChanel um yea, obviously liking pics isn’t cheating either. you can set a boundary tht you don’t like it, but you can’t just go around calling it cheating. it’s different if they’re watching like porn or OF content but if someone it posting a sfw picture then you shouldn’t go straight to sexualizing them. this isn’t about what’s cheating and what’s not, it’s that men automatically go to sexualizing women just for simply existing and living their lives as they please. there was not a single thing sexual about her posts
@@goopbuniYes you can set a boundary that you don’t want to date someone who consumes pornography or even just certain types of pornography, but if they don’t want to follow that it’s on you to leave, and it’d be wild to accuse them of cheating. Remember, boundaries are things you set around yourself to control your behavior, not things you impose on others to control their behavior. So
Boundary: “I do not want to date someone who consumes pornography, if that’s something you are not willing to give up, please tell me so I know we aren’t compatible”
Rule: “Now that we’re dating, stop watching porn”
@@EEsCZcamsChanelTalking regularly" is not "cheating" either. That's too vague to put a red flag like that on. Friends talk. Many talk regularly. "Cheating" is seeking or building a relationship with someone else behind your current partner's back. Nothing else.
@@cjboyo yeah she doesn't get it. She's like "nah I've totally flashed like 3428577 other people's girlfriends and boyfriends my tits without provocation knowing they're taken but it's not cheating because it's over a screen" girl it's cheating. She's all "yeah if someone blackmails you to cheat on you with their ex it's totally fine if they can't physically see them everyday. NO, IT'S CHEATING. You can't deliberately disrespect a relationship and call the other person jealous or controlling. And in my case, I don't get jealous, I JUST DUMP YOUR HOE ASS.
weirdly what cooper said helped me 😭 i have been so worried about my bf leaving me bc of how i’ve had so many exes who’ve said they love me then just break up with me and tell me they never really did. but cooper saying that if someone is going out of their way to make sure you’re comfortable and doing everything they can to make you happy that means they love you, made me realize my bf does truly love me. whenever im upset he makes sure he does everything he can to make me feel better, whenever i ask him for something or talk about something that made me uncomfortable he never gets mad, and he’s always understanding. realizing that he really does love me, thanks cooper :D
The fact that you call it a onesie and not a one piece is charming.
Also, your future girlfriend is going to be one lucky gal.
"NOW that we're together, stop doing ALL the things you love that you've been doing before you met me". Insane
And now people are hating on her because she wouldn’t do so. Where has society gone how did we freaking get here????
@@5barbie516Are you serious?! That's crazy
It is. And it makes me wonder, if you hate everything they do, why the hell did you go out with them?
@@mangledfoxy2052 Right?! Reminds me of my ex lol "You want nothing to do with me... but you don't want to break up?" 🤷♂️🤣
If she had similar “boundaries” for him he would’ve burst into flames and lost his mind
Really? And you know this how? Because that's what you want to believe?
@@tomsnowden6201how do you know he wouldn’t lol
@@very.anxious Being unreasonable or insecure is not abuse lol. JFC the only abuse here is of the word "abuse"
@@tomsnowden6201why the fuck are you comment on every comment. Do you have a crush on jonah hill or something.
@@tomsnowden6201no one said it was here, it is emotionally manipulative though. hes using his insecurities to control her hobbies and who shes around, under the guise of enforcing “boundaries”
Dude, you give me hope for mankind! I wish there were more guys with your mindset out there. It's hard to trust guys these days with all the craziness going on and sick laws being passed in certain states. You are funny, kind, and cool. Your partner or future partner will be a lucky person!
as someone who has seen narcissists and how they act he is a perfect example. making people feel sorry for him, manipulating people by covering it up as "boundaries", weaponizing his trauma, going thru an entire speech change to sound superior and "in the right", it's all an act to make himself feel praised and loved because he doesn't know how to earn it.
In the movie "This is the End" the celebs play themselves and Jonah is shown to be a really bad guy who only pretends to be nice. The guy Jay from the movie who is basically Jonah's arch nemesis, said in interviews afterwards that his dislike for Jonah was completely genuine.
A lot of his roles make more sense now that it's p clear he's deeply unpleasant to be around.
I immediately thought of that. Its like they were trying to warn us.
Kevin Spacey almost exclusively took roles where he was the villain or some kind of creep, and he turned out to be a villain and a creep. Jonah Hill plays a lot of assholes pretending to be nice, and he seems to be an asshole pretending to be nice. Sometimes I wonder how “talented” these actors really are.
Also I’m calling it now: Jason Bateman seems like he’s rude to his waiters.
@@eileensnow6153I used to love Jason Bateman until I read somewhere that he told Jessica Walter she should just put up with sexual harassment on set. Screw that, and don’t talk to Jessica Walter that way
@@LanaAndJen wait he did? That's so fucked up but tbh not surprised anymore these men are sick
Wanting to share your abuse publicly is entirely normal in my opinion. You spend so much time suffering alone that you want to finally share your pain with the world and let them know that the abuser is not who they seem to be.
I think it’s really only people who haven’t been abused before that don’t understand this. A lot of ppl are lacking empathy in this situation
not only for them to expose the person, but to warn others what it looks like
@@Bee-jq2yiYesss exactly!
It’s also empowering. For so long you’ve doubted yourself, felt powerless, hopeless, weak.. so to speak your truth and voice it is so empowering. It’s reclaiming your power after breaking away from an controlling relationship
I had almost an identical situation with an ex of mine and wanted everyone to know the truth and see him for who he was. I was too scared to ever out him bc I knew it would only make me more of a target with him. Always wish I got to post his insanity.
Oh god, I dated one of these. He made me feel like a terrible person because I wasn't going to spend MY birthday with him (it happened to fall on the same day of the week as the DnD game I'd been playing for three years). He called me selfish, and awful, said that he had gotten me such a thoughtful gift and how could I do this to such a wonderful boyfriend... I went to sleep crying at least twice a week for almost a year, always thinking I was a horrible selfish girlfriend for not supporting him and his anxieties better. He would loudly declare how much he despised my hobbies because they took time away from him. When he went to therapy it made him less suicidal, but gave him a whole new arsenal of "therapy speak" to guilt me with.
He eventually broke up with me after I developed feelings for someone else (which I was completely honest about) and demanded I quit the club I was in with that person (which at that point was my only safe space from him). A couple days later he sent me a deranged all-caps text where he unironically called me an "infidelious short attention-spanned wench" - my friends and I get to laugh about that one now.
My bf and I started a saying from the movie Barnyard “it’s a cow farm, there’s gonna be cows” because I would get hit on or compliments from someone else. He’ll just shrug because he said I’m a pretty girl I’m going to get compliments/hit on. We both laugh and go on with our lives. Jonah hill reeks of insecurity. god bless boo
Imagine a dude paddling up to her to help her and tell her that there’s a shark in the water and she tells him she has a boyfriend
“Miss quick there’s a shark in the water!” “Erm… I have a boyfriend so you have to stay away from me”
But...but...but...what if she starts making out with the shark?!?!? ☺️
Victims of abuse should be encouraged to publicly share their experiences.
It shows others that they're not alone. It helps people realize what abuse can look like. I'm tired of seeing abusers be protected, while their victims are told to shut up...
@@Me-yf9lt it's verbal abuse and he would lose
@@Me-yf9lthe would lose lol
@demigodworkinginthescpfacility not necessarily because we haven't seen anything that she has said to him. The screanshots don't proove abuse. You guys are just getting manipulated by her
@@yota8325 we haven't see what she said so yes this could have been 2 sided but it is still abuse
People need to know when some one is an abuser. Normalize outting your abuser
Love when Cooper sighs about being single, like, does he NOT KNOW how many of his female followers would gladly go out with him? 😂❤️
The way Jonah talked in those texts reminded me so much of my abusive ex partner. If your partner ever talks to you like this it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with their own issues, mainly insecurity.
my abusive ex bf also said eerily similar things, so nasty, i’m rlly glad she got out after a year
@@acemyname I don't even have one.
I'm 16, single, and also mentally disabled, but I agree with you girl, this is one reason why I'm Asexual, even though I'm BI.
Same here, my ex bf was exactly like that.
At least we now know what to avoid😅
Interesting that "manic girl" is calling her ex abusive..As I've come to learn MANY women love to refer to their exes as "abusive" and "narcissistic" . Completely destroying the word in order to gain sympathy while pretending they were perfect partners and victims.
Cooper is the guy who can handle anything and make it a joke.
I love everyone who liked this support comment, I also think Engween, and Pegasus is great at it too.
I think this will be the most liked support comment.
It is now :D
Hooray!
I'm literally overstimulating now!
My fastest 100.
honestly, this just reminds me of how insecure my ex was.
We got into a 2 hour fight because I was looking wrong AT A CARTOON MAN
I haven’t reached the end of the video yet but I kind just wanna add that if he was actually setting a boundary it would sound more like “I don’t think that I’m in a space to be in a relationship with you so I’m going to leave.”
Not “I feel insecure when I see you living your life authentically so you have to be different or you have to leave.”
His boundaries are for him to uphold. What he was doing was not placing a boundary.
the feeling you get when people you didn't like for any reason gives you a reason to not like them is lowkey orgasmic ngl lol
Or that feeling when you just KNOW that they suck but you have absolutely no reason for it and then they come along and give you the reason
exact same thing that happened to me with colleen ballinger. o was always just like 👀
Oh I had that happen with this really fucked up guy I used to know a long time ago, he was so gross and I was quite young at the time so I mistook the ick I was picking up towards him as a crush cause he was popular and people found him attractive. I realised after a while that the feeling was because I knew in my gut that something was wrong with him and when I found out what he did I was genuinely so relieved to have a reason to get away and to know that I was right, idk it was just a relief knowing I could trust myself and my instincts
big fan of the phrase "lowkey orgasmic"
This is so true! This dude in my friend group had the worst vibes, and that’s an understatement. No one would listen to me, and then, a year after I graduated, he was kicked out. He was manipulative, constantly pushing boundaries until you caved, would block you/ice you out if you ever told him no or called him out, and even did some things I won’t mention since they could be triggering. It felt really good when everyone else realised that he was bad.
Guy friend: "hey I like you."
Girlie pop: "hey, I feel so flattered but I don't like you like that, sorry."
Guy friend: "that's really hurtful and crosses my boundaries."
Girlie pop: "I didn't know that boundaries could include entitlement of needing people to like you???"
That happened to my sister once. They aren't friends anymore.
Friendship and romantic relationship isn't quite the same tho. Some guy friends do be wildin tho. Playing the long game to get what they want
this video so validating tbh. i have been in so many situations like this from different men and whenever i talk about it people don’t take it as seriously as it should be taken !! i obv know now but it would have been great to see when i was younger and feeling in the wrong. keep up the great content cooper :)
Boundaries are me telling my fiance I cant bully him awake in the mornings cause I cant tell if hes awake or still asleep thanks to autism and saying "I know you need something more to wake you up but I just cant do that"
Boundaries are NOT telling your gf to never interact with another living being ever and to give up all her passions hopes and dreams so you can be sure she'll never leave you
So as a woman who's been with a highly possessive dude (who was a serial philanderer; go figure); you literally can't win. I would do the 'Sorry, I'm married thing' when his friends, family and even just acquaintances would push past his boundaries (and my own too); and he would lose it. They'd complain I was being frigid and rude (literally talking about unwanted touching, like my hair and back), and he would side with them. But if I was too warm, he'd flip too.
There's no way to please a soft ego, or a people pleasure when you are their scapegoat.🤷🏼♀️
I've been there and I'm so glad you got out. You deserve better 💜
@@laurend7337 Thanks, you too love.
Jonah Hill's boundaries with Sarah are giving the same energy as British Empire's boundaries with almost every country ever
This sent me 😂😂 Top historical analysis
Side note but isn’t Jonah one of the undercover cops in the Jumpstreet series? Also wasn’t a plot point in 22 Jumpstreet the fact that Jonah’s character got jealous of his cop partner making friends at the university they went undercover in?
I had a boyfriend who was so similar to this, he would tell me straight to my face that he hated my friends and he would cause arguments with me about them constantly, then he would act like best friends with them whenever he saw them and act like nothing happened. He would set “boundaries” that were so unreasonable, for example I have this one friend who I grew up with and we would call each other sisters because that’s how we viewed each other, but he told me I couldn’t do that anymore because people were coming up to him and asking him about it saying how it must suck to be dating someone with such a b**** of a sister (even though she is the sweetest person ever). He isolated me from my friends and made me feel so alone, but whenever I would bring this up with him he would tell me it was my fault and I honestly believed him because I was so blinded by the love I had for him in the beginning and I thought it was me who must have changed to cause this big of an issue. I wish people talked about it more especially with young people because it’s so easy to fall in love with someone and feel bad for them when they tell you they’re hurt by something you did, even though it shouldn’t be an issue in the first place. I feel so sorry for this woman because I know the guilt you feel when in this situation but I’m so happy she’s out of it because it is so freeing ❤️
I’m glad you’re exes now, I’m so sorry about all of that with you because that’s genuinely terrible
I can't believe how fast I followed this man. I think he's really found a niche in aggressively respecting women, and as a woman, it's so genuinely healing.
It’s because he’s babygirl
This ☝ Noah Samsen once called himself part of the "Healthy Boyz Club" and that's how I categorize the decent men creators I follow lol
what? You mean the CZcams creator right? Not Jonah Hill?
@@EEsCZcamsChanel...bro
@@EEsCZcamsChanelit’s film Cooper not CZcamsR 😢
you cant set 'boundaries' for the way someone else acts apart from you... this shit is wild. im glad she posted bc this is a prime example of a high control relationship and how insidious emotional abuse can be.
How so? Cheating is an act apart from someone. I'm not condoning Jonah's behavior, but you absolutely can place boundaries about anything. And it's up to you if you want to stick around if your partner doesn't want to respect said boundaries.
@scoobydoo5405 That’s true but boundaries are more of something that’s being done TOO YOU cheating is being done to you bc you’re in that relationship while her posting her hobby of surfing isn’t affecting him bc nothing is being done to him
@@Alixir1228 it's not really apart from someone bc it still relates back to the relationship in the end, that's a breaking of the rules you agree upon when you begin a monogamous relationship
boundaries aren't just a magic word that you can use to prevent your partner from doing anything, it's "don't do this to me/around me" (which yes, cheating is doing something to that person, it's a breaking of their trust), not "don't do this thing. ever."
exactly! a boundary is about what YOU are going to do, NOT about what other people SHOULD do. your boundaries should not be able to be broken if the other person doesn't abide by them (because in most cases people wont!) a boundary is "if you do X i will do Y." not just "you cant do X." people will do whatever they want, boundaries are about the way YOU respond.
Boundaries are for how someone treats you, not for how someone else acts with others. If you don’t want someone to touch you, that is a boundary. If you don’t want someone to touch someone else, that is not a boundary.
I really do feel for Jonah in some ways because the media and people he worked with and just worked in his field as well as countless strangers commenting on his weight and looks and stuff for all of his career and anytime there's a shift in how he looks, his defensiveness has been built up over time and caused a lot of fear and insecurity that can come off as what he sees as finally sticking up for himself but is actually incredibly toxic and abusive when gone about in the way that he does it. It's okay to have insecurities especially being in the situation he has been in for years in the media, it's not okay to use those insecurities as a fuel to hurt others or attempt to control their lives especially those who love you
It's so triggering and frustrating to watch the texts and such because I've been through the same thing. He was extremely controlling to a point, I can't go on 10 minutes without texting him what I was doing. Because of him, I ditched all my makeup, stopped doing them and stopped dancing all together. He threatened me with his life saying everytime I defy him he was"dying" or smtg like that. I was at my lowest when I was with him and I had to cater to all his needs. He made me stop hanging out with my friends bcause he said I was wasting time & I should focus more on "beneficial" stuff to do. We would call until 3-4 in the morning even though I was sleepy cause I had class in the morning. At one point, he got so angry that I didn't want to call he started yelling at me over the phone and telling me that he was dying bcause of me. There's more but I think this is enough to describe how our relationship went. I finally feel some sort of validation watching this vid cause I know someone went through the same thing I did and it wasn't normal and that it wasn't my fault we ended things. Thank u for reading if u've reached the end- 😂
also lets not forget that he diagnosed her with narcissistic personality disorder when she didn't like him controlling her and monitoring her location all the time
i think jonah proved that people who are deeply insecure should work on themselves before dating
If I had a partner that worked hard on their body (out of enjoyment, not because anyone else was pressuring them) and had the cojones to get on a thin board in the middle of a humongous body of water to surf, I'd be on the beach cheering them on and hearting every one of their online posts doing that thing. It's admirable, not a threatening or worrisome trait in a romantic relationship. All of Jonah's so-called boundaries are red flags, and he should get a new therapist.
this video is like if kurtis conner was off his adhd meds lmao
(i dont think kurtis is on adhd meds i meant he sounds like kurtis conner but way faster and more hyper lol)
As a psychology student, I can tell you that one of the first things we learn in class is to not jump to conclusions as this can be absolutely destructive, especially when we only have one side of the story. Doesn't matter if its accidental or not, it seems like his therapist is turning him against his girlfriend. To anyone reading this, be careful when you want to get a therapist, psychologist, etc. They are human too, which means that some of them are good and some of them might not be a match for you. It is good to look for help and advice from professionals, but some times they can be wrong, too. Just don't hesitate to communicate your worries with them. It is completely okay to be worried about some of the advice you get, even if it is from a professional, and sharing these worries in a respectful way to try and understand why this advice is being given is a good thing that you could do in this situation.
edit: to anyone who's reading this, you shouldn't be afraid to go look for help, the point of this comment is not to scare you. Most of the people who work in psychology will be extra careful when dealing when this kind of issue, they will take into consideration what kind of person you are and which approach is best for you. Just make sure that the person who's giving you help is the right person for you. If you are worried about the advice that you are being given, try to communicate your worries with them. Stay safe everyone
I really do not believe that someone would spend the YEARS he’s had in therapy to try and improve and grow as a person and intentionally be controlling or toxic. To me I think it just seems like he took some bad advice from a therapist.
@@thatstrangebuggirl4150i didn't see anything wrong with his boundaries.
@@TheKatarinaGiselleokay have fun dating the taliban
I went to a therapist and they wanted me to go no contact w mom! I’m skeptical now.
THANK YOU! Us not having JH's side of the story is enough to really frown upon all of this. Sharing this like these on the internet like that is just tacky at best, and highly destructive and immature to the ultimate degree at worst, SPECIALLY if she's just being emotional and irrational and who knows what kind of person SHE is... but just the mere fact she'd be this level of indiscreet is enough for me to write her off as the one being insane and trying to catch a wave on the coattails of JH... what does she want now? to become a highly famous mental health/ feminist activist at the expense of JH? disgusting and disgraceful AF. No matter the truth about JH, she should be immediately cancelled in my opinion.
Her posting publicly is a strong move. She knew there would be backlash, people love him. She is showing that she's putting it back in her own hands by going public. Rock on 🤘
Weaponized therapy language isn't the same as a healthy person. I hope he gets help
He is in a happy relationship, finally starting a family and having a kid with a woman that align with his values.
She posted 720 stories in last 2 week about most deep public stuff to 130k followers 2 years after they broke up.
She will need a lot of help, not him.
@@tonikukoc1451did your ass not watch the video
@@tonikukoc1451obviously… she was abused 🤦🏽♀️
I never even liked the man but I don’t think this was necessary she could have said he was toxic and manipulative without sharing messages like a petty 16 yr old
@@latenabeard3548 abused? Manipulated, sure. Was the relationship toxic? Yes. If every one In Hollywood did this every one would be an abuser. She framed this like it was for her mental health but it’s because she’s petty. She could have just said “he was a toxic manipulator when we were together” and then moved on with her life. A lot do women go through this I’ve gone through this weird incel shit but I just dump the guy and move on cause he needs to figure his own shit out. He was an ass but I’m not gonna get behind the hate train just cause he’s a douche bag.
I’ve had an ex literally text me paragraphs on paragraphs about “boundaries “ and then threaten to break up with me if I don’t fall in line with those “boundaries”
love the commentary on men's expectations you throw in, i go on tangents myself and i love hearing them when people are passionate and care
those interactions she shared were the beginning phase of my abusive relationship i’ve left 4 months ago. it progressed into physical and it always starts at control and isolation. if they can justify their insecurities and weaponize therapy speech to do so AND victimize themselves all at the same time, imagine the mental gymnastics they’ll do to physically hurt you. you don’t think it’ll happen until it does.
i’m so glad for you, i hope you are doing great!
So proud of you for getting out, it's really hard to do that and I'm so happy for you. I've been in a similar situation and it always escalates.
Sending love your way
I was in the same situation ab a yr and a half ago. I was a minor ans he was my manager. Isolation, being controlling ab how I dress, even tho it didn't change, if I did my makeup. He ended up punching the wall 2 in from my face. Almost a few months the last time I saw him was after our last BREAKUP, and he went through my phone and found out I slept w sum1 else during our breakup. Woke me up and sliced his hand open. Last time I saw him but he stalked me for months. Even maybe now, I've hidden my life from the public
Abusers like this really want you to stay silent, bc they know their worldview falls apart under scrutiny from the outside world. Proud of her for putting this out there, it's gotta be terrifying to do so.
This. This is why I do understand people upset that his privacy his being violated, technically.... But also abusers thrive off of secrecy and silence. So I'll pretty much always support abusers be exposed especially if they are celebrities. Because they absolutely thrive off of their victims staying quiet. If you didn't want his privacy being violated he shouldn't have been a controlling POS within the relationship enough for it to need to be exposed. Taylor Swift has a similar ideology "if people don't want bad songs being written about them then they shouldn't do bad things". She's written good love songs... For the partners that treated well.
People seem to forget that boundaries aren’t “I don’t want you to do that. Don’t do that.” They’re “I don’t like when you do that/doing that makes me feel like this, so if you do, I will walk away” or whatever.
You can’t force someone to change how they act, you can only determine how you respond to it
Thank you! Such a perfect take on this situation. Calling out the control issues in the most hilarious way possible. Shocked a girl hasn’t grabbed you up yet. Cute, funny and self aware? What what? Lots of love
I use to be in a relationship somewhat like this. I wasnt allowed to wear shorts of any kind, wasnt allowed to wear any clothes that "show my bodytype" I had resorted to baggy clothes and even then, I wasnt allowed outside because of wind and or rain, I had to send him pictures of my outfits when he was not around. Every time I spent even a literal minute away from him he accused me of being with and or talking to other people and scared me 24/7 saying everyone is a creep and is out to get me. I was isolated, controlled and told these things daily and I had a huge struggle getting out of that relationship because he would manipulate me. Everything I had done was a problem for him and he made me believe I was in the wrong. He made me repeat whatever he said, it being (in short) that I was not going to be unloyal and go against what he told me to do. It had gotten to the point where he sat me down and made me choose between my best friend or our relationship without any valid reason, he just had said I was playing with them on a game and he didnt like it. Theres a lot more than this but thats all Im going to share. For anyone who comes across these types of people, DO NOT HESITATE TO LEAVE, do not tolerate this, do not let people control you like that. I appreciate this video and this brave woman bringing awareness and calling him out, I would hate for someone to go through the same problems. If anyone is currently experiencing this, LEAVE, do NOT put up with that.
god that sounds terrifying. super fucking controlling.
this sounds like a movie holy shit i’m
so sorry you had to go through that.
Omg I was told that I can't be friends with any single person and that I can't hang out with my single friends, male or female unless he thought they were trustworthy. Why? Because I was naive and didn't understand how people's brains work and that anytime someone talks to me, it's because they want me, not because they are being friendly. And me not seeing that was proving how naive I was. Mind you, I've had these friends for YEARS before I met this guy and none of them had EVER tried anything when I was single or in a relationship. But now that I was with him they suddenly became scum? And his justification was he just didn't want any of them to put me in a position to cheat.😑
So glad you got out of that
Yeah. I work at a DV shelter, shit always starts like this. Don’t wear that. Stop talking to that friend. We don’t need to visit your parents this year. You don’t need to go to work, leave it to me. You should let me have your phone password. You should let me have your phone. You don’t need a phone. On and on. Give it enough time and you have a homicide.
i think her sharing those texts is important. i was in multiple relationships like this and am just now coming to terms with the fact that it was manipulation and abuse. i think it’s important to let others know what this can look like and to pay attention to red flags.
yes!! it's helpful to other people but it's good for self healing too
It’s good that we are all talking about this kind of behavior. Hopefully we all can learn from it and recognize its manipulation and not ok
Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
@@SwiftJustice-uy9tbpeople should definitely be shamed for abuse. That's how they would get help tbh. If your a shitty human to someone who your supposed to love dam right you deserved to be shamed. However the way she did it was definitely not the best especially with how soon it came after the break up really petty and immature tbh
@@SwiftJustice-uy9tb
Says the cringe one
I love coopers little tangents at the end of videos, they give me so much serotonin.
Boundaries are not "You do this to make me feel better". Boundaries are "Here's what I'm going to do to make me more comfortable".
That being said, a lot of people make a lot of stipulations and ultimatums under the guise of controlling others behavior and call them boundaries.
Love that he tells her she can’t surf with men or post pics in a swimsuit or to model at all ... when her literal job is to be a surfing model. Lol. I would be like hey bro why are you with me?
Almost sounds like he wants her to be financially dependent on him
And apparently she was after their breakup because she turned down model jobs 😢
Can you read? Do you see the words?
It is written "if you need..." It is never written YOU CANNOT SURF WITH MEN. It is never written YOU CANNOT POST BIKINI PICTURES.
and if you ask: "bUt WhY pUrSuE SuRfEr then?!?!?" it was a fling that became serious. sometimes, people get sobering realization into a relationship that values differ from their partner and it cannot continue. you know, it is really common occurrence???
You fell in a love with someone, 1.5 year later you talk about the kids and realize you are off the page. but you still stick hoping they change. then, 4 years later, you give another try and person is still the same. what do you do? You cannot handle it and leave. People do this all the time. They stick to see if the values will change, but sometimes IT SIMPLY DOESNT HAPPEN. and you don't have to stay in that relationship. if they don't want it, they don't want it. You want it and then you pursue it somewhere else. PERIOD.
@@tonikukoc1451lol this reads like a huge projection
@@makstracy 😂😂 I conquer, I was just about to be like hey toni, who hurt you bro? You ok, man? Lol.
Not sure what else to expect from someone named Toni cuck cock? Holy shit, Really? That’s not real... that can’t be real. 🙃🙃🙃
he’s definitely the type to make a partner choose between him or their KID 😵💫
the type to get insecure and jealous when a woman has a healthy coparenting relationship w her ex
Love your content as always! I have a take on this Therapy Speak debockle that could be a bit unpopular but I think it's important to mention as a lot of older people are trying to learn healthy communication for the first time after 20 or even 30+ years of horrible patterns:
This is not at all to say that what Jonah did was right, but it's very possible that he really thought he was executing "healthy communication" correctly. I know when I first started therapy I got boundaries ALL wrong, and the misinformation online about boundaries and therapy language doesn't help but eventually I got the right information. My first attempts at healthy communication and relationships were clunky as hell and I would do it SO different today with close to 5 years under my belt. After watching several friends/family go thru this too, it's my experience that a lot of people really don't understand that boundaries are about YOUR response. "If you do this, then I will remove myself." Not about controlling other people, but about setting limits on what YOU will accept and staying strong on the response you choose.
Like all things, this is a skill that does take time to learn and one of the more frustrating things is that there is no way to learn in a bubble totally alone. You practice with your therapist, but most sessions are once a week, less than an hour, and you rarely have real world conflicts with your therapist to practice with. If you are lucky, you have people around you who will patiently go thru the ups and downs with you until you get it right.
Again, no excuses at all for Jonah, but I just want to be careful about how we talk about misusing "therapy speak" and expecting perfection from humans who are learning. Obviously the stakes are a lot lower for normal people who aren't creators or entertainers and I just don't want to encourage an "all or nothing" or perfectionist mindset about Therapy, as that could lead to a completely different type of self loathing if you're already trying to work on your confidence.
I cannot imagine getting upset with someone I’m in a relationship with posting images of themselves doing something they’re passionate about even if they’re wearing next to no clothes. I’d be like “fuck yeah you look amazing and you are talented af and wow you like me that’s crazy now let’s make out”. Come on!!! He needs to get a better therapist who makes him uncomfortable so he stops taking out his insecurities on other people.
Those aren’t boundaries, those are toxic, unreasonable demands. He has major issues and is the person that needs to change, not her.
Demand implicates insistance.
And here - there was no insisting. "If you need that - pursue it. not with me though." Clear exit is given. Nothing HAS TO BE DONE. NOTHING IS A MUST. everything is conditional.
You are not obliged to be in a relationship that makes you insecure. You are not obliged to make crucial life changes because someone else is insecure.
He is free to pursue a woman that will not cause him those insecuirities. And he did, and he got it.
She is free to be with a guy that is compatible with her career lifestyle.
@@tonikukoc1451 you gonna glide over the fact he knit picked her pictures and told her to delete totally reasonable pics? He was trying to see what he can get away with. They broke up so she respected his "boundaries" in the end. We should not condone controlling behavior imo
@@tonikukoc1451if he had problems with her surfing or wearing bikini, then why did he dated a girl that surfs and wear bikini? You can't just tell someone you love them, drag them for 2 year long relationship, then tell him or her do these or I will leave. That manipulative behavior. He is trying to destroy her whole career.
@@hottea6512 It is "totally reasonable" to YOU. But you are not Jonah Hill though. It is not "totally reasonable" to him.
You can criticize and impose what is generally "totally reasonable" but it doesn't matter - because you conduct your relationships your way, he does it his way.
"buT WhY hE SliDe inTo hEr DM?" Because he wanted a hookup. And hookup became something serious. And values of "something serious" are not the same values of "hookup". He is not OK with his wife posting those photos. And he is willing to explore other options which won't do that. That's his right.
Controlling behaviour? My GF requested me to delete my Instagram. Do I consider that behaviour controlling? No, I don't because I am mature enough to realize why she asked that and I valued her happiness and our bond more over selfishness of online validation for strangers.
you maybe do not and that is your right, which is if you meet guy like that, you will ditch him and keep the instagram.
@@koyelimukherjee.3115 Do people like you think long term relationships are something linear where people expose everything on the first date and both people are open books about their values, life goals, expectations? are you for real?
It doesn't work like that. Sometimes, some relationships are just fueled by sexual attraction for 2 years and there is never ever time for a "life talk" or "what is annoying to you about me?"
He didn't try to destroy anything. He said he couldn't handle what she does for a long term marriage relationship. Period. He said "If you need that, I am going to explore other options" If you are capable of reading - clear exit is given. Nothing has to be done.
She can decide a) change the career path and pursue the relationship and family with Jonah Hill b) exit the relationship and pursue the career.
It might annoy you that he is giving the ultimatums and that he is trying to course a relationship - but that is what people do. And if you partner has alternative options - they will explore them.
Relationship is agreement between the two people. Emphasis on agreement. There is no forcing something upon other throat.
That is the actual abuse. Jonal Hill situation was not abuse.
honestly, men like jonah are some of the most insidious abusers- the type of guy that acts outwardly progressive but essentially uses that to further their manipulation/abuse. it makes it so much harder to come out as a victim because no one wants to believe the "nice" guy isn't actually nice. it even makes it harder sometimes to realize the abuse because it's disguised under language that sounds progressive.
She manipulated the situation
@@ishot_kai okay mr. hill 😂
@@kennedy.5152 ya name is Kennedy and you delusional
@@fen_vt ya name is fen fen stfu like you gocha life animation’s probably like stfu and besides she misused the abuse word
And besides they broke up 2 years ago why she even bringing this up after he moved on and had a child with a different women like cmon now think she could’ve did this within 2 years and this mf’s opinion in his video make no sense at all because all he did was jump to conclusions and misjudged Jonah when he don’t even know how Jonah really is
27:50 why do I remember this so vividly-
You have such a friendly commentary style I hope to see your channel grow exponentially!
As a therapist, I'd suggest anyone seeing that therapist run as far as they can in the opposite direction.
yeah bcs what the fk do you mean tell someone “i need to go speak to my bf “ when another dude approachs u its dripping with low self esteem and lack of confidence wether that be in the partner or themselves (but hey im not a therapist i woudnt know 😭👍)
To people who think she shouldn't have said it publicly:
Sometimes you have to expose a person for anyone to believe you
As someone who made the mistake of ending two separate abusive relationships trying to be quiet about it, if you don't warn other people about this behavior, the other person can and will use that against you and make mutual friends either harass or guilt you into thinking you're wrong because they don't have the full context. And usually they won't believe you if you tell them after because the other person will spin it as "if I was *really* like that, why would they only tell you after they were called out on being shitty?"
this
He did a documentary on mental health
I hope a lot of people take this to heart. nothing was more devastating than having a mutual friend tell me i should apologize to my abusive ex. i never even found out specifically what i was supposed to apologize for, but ex definitely spun whatever narrative was necessary to villainize me for leaving the relationship. if you keep quiet, they'll only use that to make you the "guilty" one
yeah its not just about exposing him, its about showing people that this behavior is abusive and its not all in your head and you are not alone.
wow you are dumb. Just explain to me, how or WHY would Jonah would have come after her, like she is going after him, when first of all, she IS A NOBODY, and second, he clearly stated his boundaries, and then said, if you can't handle them I'm out... and that's it. If she couldn't handle his boundaries, she should've said that and end the relationship,.. yet here we are with her acting like a sore loser, because she probably felt rejected by someone like Jonah.... what you are explaining is what Jonah should've done BEFORE this TOXIC hoe grabbed a hold of the narrative and dragged his name all over the internet like you are saying that toxic people do you dumba_ss.
And to give you a little more perspective, here I'll copy paste what I shared in a different thread and why you are all so wrong about this:
Everything done properly has its time and place, and this information being aired like that SO SOON after the break up is HIGHLY IMMATURE and TOXIC on her end. If there is no evidence that he has been like this with anyone before, she should've taken the proper time to HEAL, MOVE ON, and with a COOLER, CALMER, and WISER head, after she's really reflected on her own potential wrongdoings in this relationship, then MAYBE go after him if after she's healed she still TRULY believes she was abused and/ or he continues to abuse other women... if not this is just a case of a entitled little B* who is trying to cash in on this situation as soon as possible and catch a wave (PUN INTENDED) on the coattails of Jonah... to what? now become a famous mental health/ feminist advocate at the expense of HIS reputation?? that is tacky, immature and disgusting at best. There is no reason for anyone to be this level of indiscreet just because YOU and SOMEONE ELSE didn't work well together. She wouldn't be the first one or the last one to have a BAD relationship with someone else, and that doesn't make him an abuser! it is BEYOND me how many entitled sensitive, and clout gold digging little bi*tches are supporting this HIGHLY TOXIC, TACKY, UNWISE and IMMATURE behavior from this NO ONE that CLEARLY is desperate for some clout. Someone who is truly abused would feel SO DOWN and in the DUMPS that wouldn't have any time to be posting ALL OF THIS SO SOON, and THE ON TOP OF IT ALL, going after "MORE ABUSIVE EX-BFS" after she DRAGGED Jonah's name all over the internet... its truly disgusting and people of this generation should know better.... but the woke mentality has so many people looking and acting DUMB AF these days! Jesus... take a step back and THINK MFs.
It's concerning how many people confuse the term "boundries" with "controlling behaviour and manipulation".
Im completely on the side of outiting private conversations with abusive behaviors. Abusers often rely on social boundaries like "not airing out their dirty laundry" while abusing you in private; also while often more then willing to violate these boundaries themselves if they think they can get away with it.
There's no point playing by rules when the person hurting you doesn't care about said rules or is just using them to their advantage to hide who they truly are. Fight back effectively; the high road maintains the status quo
He met her by sliding into her DMs because of one of those pictures that he thought was inappropriate. He was legit insecure that another man would do exactly what he did and she would find someone better than him. He was making her responsible for his insecurity.
I get that he has some issues (probably trauma) from being the fat guy who lost weight in Hollywood, given how sh***y the media is about body issues, but dude, go grab Chris Pratt and commiserate about it, don’t be a controlling freak.
The one pic he was saying was a thong was ridiculous if I was him I’da been more concerned with the huge ass burn all across her legs
Exactly. Some ozempic too😂
I'm going to be honest, up until recently, I forgot Jonah Hill existed😭
Same I had to remember who he was
@@ninjahijabi5023I haven’t seen him since Wolf Of Wall Street.
the part after the disney XD lmao i cant. seriously he looked like a narcissist in those messages. He needs to expand HIS boundaries not the other way around 😭
The thing that annoys me so much about this situation is that boundaries are not things you say to shape others behavior, it’s communicating how YOU will respond to a behavior/situation that you are not comfortable with. A boundary is not “don’t do x” it’s “I will have to leave the room if you do x.” Jonah Hill can have whatever boundaries he wants, he can choose to not be in a relationship with someone who posts swimsuit pictures or whatever, but he has no right to make that HER problem. Like don’t start a relationship with a surfer if your boundary is you can’t be around someone who surfs.
Also seconding some comments I’ve already seen here but as a therapist it fucking blew my mind a psychiatrist would make a video with their client. That is so wildly unethical. I’m sure they covered their bases legally but that therapist should have declined to do it. The fact that he did not makes me question his judgement.