AUDHD & Changes in Plans!
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
- This video changed 100 times - from an exciting travel vlog to a try to have fun at home to a realistic outcome for an ADHD and Autistic person!
I wanted to be honest with you, there’s no point of making my life seem better than it is. And so here’s the reality behind unexpected changes in plans.
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@hayley.honeyman
#adhd #adhdproblems #autism #adhdtravel #traveling #adhdbrain #adhdrelief #adhdproblems
It's like, "Oh hey, something's different. Lemme just derail everything." Doesn't even have to be as bad as a bound up leg.
Yes,this is me. My. entirely. fucking. life. I'm in one of those moments now....
I had that when i didn't expect to work cause my pc stopped working the evening before. I also had to start at 8 which is way too early for me. And suprise my pc worked again that morning but i called in sick after i calmed myself down enough from crying. It was a mess
Yup, true
It’s literally enough if a well going daily routine is being disrupted ONCE then it’s like it is ruined now I can’t do it any more.
Yup..... I'm literally just coming out of a mini shutdown after I had a meltdown 2.5 hours ago.... All because I was prepared to meet my partner and brother in law for Boba, then view a flat, then go out for dinner.
I was not ready in time to make it for the Boba.
Partner said "just come when you can. No stress"
I didn't understand what he meant.
I thought he meant for the Boba.
I sent a stressed text explaining how that's not going to work is it (no time).
Meltdown.
Cried. Rocked. Stimmed. Verbal stims. Stared.
Mini shutdown (didn't move for a while, still don't really feel like talking).
Now "feel better" but still stuck trying to finish getting ready....
I "just" need to do some make-up and change into safer more comfy clothes, but I've done neither, in 2 hours. I vacuumed my room instead though 🤷🏻♀️.... and sat here typing this 🤦🏻♀️)
Trying to get my head around the new idea of just going and meeting them for dinner.
🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I feel that. I'll mentally prepare all week to do something out of my routine, and when it doesn't happen, I mentally crash for the day. 😅
Oh yeah no, I’m out of commission for minimum a day, if it was gonna be longer than a day, it’s the duration of the event usually plus an extra day 😅
Same! On one hand I’m like “yes people cancelled, I don’t have to have socialising anxiety!” But on the other hand “oh now what?” And end up definitely wasting that time😅😂
Yes. Like, I've prepared myself to do the thing, and now I don't know what to do with this preparedness....
I don't have a diagnosis yet but oh look another flashing neon sign that I am (very very very very very) likely audhd
I think you're the most relatable ND channel I've found so far 😭
huh, and here I was thinking I was alone
what does nd mean
@@Gigi0990 neurodiverse. I belive.
Relatable but I don’t have adhd
I absolutely love the fact that you take these "small issues" people have with adhd and explain them so we can finally figure out whats going on with us. I have gotten significant better at understanding myself and creating a schedule just since seeing your videos ❤️ thanks for being you, lovely 🥰
Also Autism
I feel this EVERY TIME I have plans change. Like I spent this whole time psyching myself up, my brain doesn't know what to do anymore and I just get...stunlocked into doing nothing and feeling *weird*
I'm a 50 year old grandma and I can relate. If my plans get changed I have to rethink everything before I can do anything. My whole life I have had a hard time getting people to understand. If any part of something changes, it throws everything in the air. And as much as most people love surprises, I hate them. They are overwhelming and confusing. I have always been this way. I hope my comment helps someone else who may be trying to discover their neurodiversity at an older age. Thanks to all the media creators out there that have helped us to see we're not defective, we're just different.
It's the worst if you had super fun plans and it gets cancelled LAST MINUTE. My brain can not take this well and can start detailing, which often leads to frustration issues and sometimes even panic attacks. I have been diagnosed with ADHD not long ago, but I'm starting to think I might have light/mild autism too...(after some research)
oh shoot i have this problem too!
Same.
Sounds like my neice. She has both. Your description also reminds me of my dad, who is autistic but not ADHD. You might want to look into getting a diagnosis if it is something you want. Getting mine helped me a ton (I'm also ADHD and Autistic, but have a different presentation).
(There is no such thing as "light" /mild autism. You're either Autistic or not, it's a different neurology. If this is your line of thinking and the Autistic part is true, you're probably in the high-masking area as far as your profile.
...And what's "fun" is: the more you learn, and the more weight is taken off your shoulders because "fuck I finally have answers!"... the weaker our abilities to mask tend to become. 😆😫
This is AGGRESSIVELY accurate 😅
when u were supposed to be away, but the plans get cancelled but ur brain is still in "away" mode so even if ur home u dont do the routine and end up lounging around because it was supposed to be your away time anyways and u cant get back into your usual routine 😅
I think I once read a Post where an ADHLer hacked their brain by finding ways to still kinda do the plan. Like, Stick to the actions that were planned , Just maybe at a different space, instead of trying to Do different stuff.
Sounds like she stuck to the plan anyway!
Actually doodling helps me get back on track.
It relieves anxiety and helps me relax and reset.
I do it a lot, like pages and pages...lol
Please THIS 😭 I wish I was as chill about changes as her, I'm still working on it, just trying not to get inordinately upset and frustrated when plans change- I don't lash out but stars alive I feel intense whenever something unexpected ruins my plans / scheduling and it leaves me emotionally drained 😭
This is so relatable on so many levels.
My heart feels you valid and loved, doing your best and when routine gets messed up, we all need some rest
You have given words to the thoughts and feelings that I always felt were too frivolous and too complicated to be able to be expressed
I feel this so much! I'm very pregnant, abandoned my usual routine to spend a week preparing the nursery, then just as things were supposed to go back to normal, my husband got called in for emergency work, so we both went to stay in a hotel in a neighboring city. I'm finally back home and "should be" getting back to my normal routine, but I suspect it's going to take an adjustment period.
I legitimately can’t tell you how eye opening a lot of vids of yours are
I relate to this so much. Thank you for this very real and sometimes frustrating experience. I feel seen.
“No, it’s fucked” had me dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
this channel is so relatable- i love it, i feel personally called out when i watch your videos and im smiling about it- 😂
Honestly, this is a thing even just with ADHD. Not getting completely derailed by a minor change in my schedule is hard as fuck. The "mentally prepared to be away" thing is real.
Oh yesssss. Ohhhh so nice to not be alone. Is this what it means to feel “seen”? I’m on a breakthrough journey with AuDHD content
This. This right here. This is where it’s at.
ONE OF MY BIGGEST STRUGGLES is even developing a routine and becoming stable enough in life to really ground myself in order to make following a routine and sticking to it easier.
'AUDHD' is the best short way to put it, ty ty for an easier way to put it!
I appreciate you so much 💕 I'm sorry you hurt your leg. Holding space for your journey through this limbo
Love your glasses with the orange blue combo
Painfully relatable
"no it's fucked" me anytime small change in my plans happens when I am overwhelmed
This is so real, I once took a 5 minute nap because I accidentally stayed up all night and couldn’t fathom doing my morning routine without waking up
Yes! The opposite is also true. It is difficult when i get invited to do something last minute, but it's hard to actually enjoy it because it interrupted my routine. Might need a recooperation day to rest and try to get back on it.
O MY GOD SERIOUSLY I NEED TO GET MYSELF CHECKED. This is too relatable 😂
i have a hard time switching BACK to routines after a short change. the holiday season always ruins me because my schedule is constantly derailed and then i spend all of january messed up, depressed, and depressed because my routine is messed up.
THIS!!! It happens with almost any holiday, including birthdays. November, December, and January burn me out (which sucks because my birthday is in January, and I love my birthday!)
Ugh, sooooooo relatable!
This happened to me like a month ago!! An extreme cold took me out two weeks before spring break. I started to get better by the time spring break rolled around, but by the time we came back from break I was in the limbo of not ready to go back to work, but needing to work!
Literally me. I got so far out of my routine that I had to wait for my kids to go back to school: take a week off of work So I could be home alone plan, declutter, and re organize all my routines. Just so I could be productive again.
That fear of being 'unproductive' is something I share as well. Absolutely hate it, feels like every moment I live should be spent on accomplishing something. I worked on it with my therapists, and now sometimes I can just relax without blaming myself for it.
Oh my gosh!!! I just had a week like this!!!
Exactly. I had an appointment scheduled for earlier today and they cancelled 12 mins beforehand. Seeing the reason why they cancelled I can't be mad at them, but it did throw me off bc i prepared 90% of my social energy for this and now I only have 10% left for other things and the 90% i had reserved for them went down the drain. Great
So true! The routine/non-routine dilemma always mindf#cks me
i was supposed to write an album w my friends this holiday
i got covid for the first time instead (just got better!)
so for the past week i've been completely obsessed about this holiday park i used to go to when i was a kid and i've minmaxed a booking together using an unofficial forum's discount code page.
ok, this is far too entertaining and informative to not subscribe, so...
(most of the time i subconsciously know all these little things but cant put them into words and these vids do that for me lmao-- thank you for making these)
Can relate to this so much.
I say the same thing when asked a similar question.....Nope, it's fucked! Now leave me to be unproductive 😂...TY, Needed that laugh.
"no. its fucked." 🤣😩
This is definitely happening to me rn. I missed a derm appointment because I marked it for the wrong day, and now I can't even think of things I have planned. I'll just let them blindside me 😭
OH MY GOSH YES!!! I got hurt at work 2 months ago and I haven't been able to do anything I normally would do since then. It's just limbo and nothing is getting done🫠
I once had it all together. Getting showers regularly (I was so proud of myself), eating regularly and even managing to focus on work for a bit. Then dad decided to stay home for 2 weeks and wreck it. Thst was a month ago and Im just now getting back into it
I always have the expatiation that when I cleaned the house, it's gonna be all different and look amazing. But sometimes I get disappointed when it doesn't look much different. Today I cleaning and moving a lot of stuff so I know I'm gonna be happy.
During the cleaning process, I think about the exam I have tomorrow so my head doesn't get bored either. Sometimes I love my adhd and the amazing things I can achieve with it. But I also hate it because of the overthinking and the migraines it brings with it. I'm so thankful for my husband because I get really tired sometimes and fall asleep in random places.😂
I feel this SO MUCH🎉
Omg I have been having this exact issue! I watch my neighbors kid and dogs on a pretty regular basis and when I'm scheduled to show up at 7am then only for me to get there and be told I'm not needed it causes me to not be able to function the entire day because I have mentally prepared myself to have to babysit or dogsit. Everyone says I should be happy that I have all this extra time but my brain shuts down and it stresses me out. Needless to say I recently dropped my neighbor after doing this for 2 years
Oh dear lord this is relatable
I’m not even autistic but this is a big mood
OMGGG your living room looks so cozy, where is this lilac lamp from??? (also way too relatable lmao)
Yep, this happens all the time, but I had something recently happen that’s exactly like this Short. I had a recording session planned with some friends 2 months in advance. I had the day planned out, and had my week prior to that day planned out. Literally 2 weeks before the session the drummer cancels because he forgot about a float trip he was going on. I paced around the entire week just doing random things here and there and just feeling frustrated and pissed that my plans got ruined.
Also AuDHD and i struggle with this 😩 when routine goes out the window, i become rooted in one place and then ADHD comes round and it's like "let's waste time scrolling on CZcams" even though i really want to eat or sleep or use the toilet 🙃
AuDHD unite ✌🏽
Although, I don't see my scrolling CZcams as a waste 😅 I'm usually educating or entertaining myself the whole time. Then again I've been applying "nothin' was a waste" as a self-reminder. I'd encourage you or anyone else to try it to see if it works for y'all.
Also as autist I can relate! This is so me.
I feel this one-
This is about to get common from me-
😮 ohmygosh i have this so often
you articulated my life.
Lol this is currently me. Recovering from knee surgery, had to cancel my trip to Europe, and now spending my time doing nothing, lol.
Routine jujutsu. Have many on deck to pivot based off energy level, time and motivation. I had to grapple 3 times today to get my swim in. Woke up late, ok after I work, forgot bag, ok run to neighborhood pool, closing soon, do. Speed workout. Workout routines are golden. Work routines still 💩
So relateable
Jinkies! You look like Velma and I’m here for it! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Me either I melt down.
For real though once my routine or habits are fd up even if I’ve been doing them non stop for years it’s so hard trying build them back up slowly
Not the weird limbo!!! 😭
That's why I can't do a week without my radio show, because I need that routine where I can all let go, but that's also the reason why it's absolutely difficult for me to for example produce an extra show on another weekday, because it's out of my routine :D
That can be so dysregulating. May your routine remain as intact as possible 🩷
Where do you get your jumpers from?? They are absolutely gorgeous 😮😆😃😄😁
Yes 😩
I don’t have ADHD but I am autistic and can relate to this!
This is literally my life after moving across the country.
Omg! I thought I was the only one like this.
Every goddamn time! And yet, I need to cancel often bc I don’t clock well.
This happened to me when I was getting ready to have a date. Last year, I asked a girl out for a coffee date, and I was all dressed and did my hair makeup when she canceled on me the day of our date. Never did get a rain check for the date and was essentially ghosted.
Yes.
This is quite accurate..
Old, 53, and just figured out, as my mom is deteriorating (whom I'd outsourced my executive functions to) that I'm AuDHD.
So much research and overwhelm 😅.
so true
I love my new job, because it is literally all routine
With Neuro divergents, mental preparation is key, but it can backfire, lol.
Omg that happened to me last week literally I was so confused 😭😭
This is literally me right now.
Reality. I get like that when weather changes, and I get my period unexpected. Rain causes me to hurt, so I can't be as active. And and unexpected period throws my moods, and how I'm feeling. I have PCOS.
Omg this happened to me a month ago. I was so hyped and ready to meet my friends from different states but I wasn't allowed to go last minute but I had already requested time off so the whole week was just a cluster fuck if disappointment
Omg it's true why are we like this 😂😂😂😂😂
Having ADHD and ASD is like the train conductor and the train rail making person did not communicate with each other
The lips of the flutist missed the flute by a lot. (It's the mornin' time so I just be saying random stuff 😂)
Me every week
Relatable 😂
"No its fucked" that's like my catch phrase
My routine broke a couple years back and i still feel stuck in this state 😅
YES. OH MY GOSH. 😂
I've been doing this since high school
I had to have another ACL reconstruction last year after falling off a dang waterfall (in front of people 😢), I'm STILL trying to get my shit back together, Easter makes one year since the injury. Limbooooo
Appreciate the general point if limbo states, and the frankness and happy admission! But I'm also at the next level like "Unproductive" is an irksome nonsensical demand!? As is that character's assumption that your leg injury isnt going to affect you, even though no jumping to anything allowed, and mood undeniably affected alongside for anyone and the world isn't accessible, for permanent or temporary mobility impairment. But also, no routines anyway.
This literally just happened to me when I broke my arm and had to cancel my flight to Europe. Lol
that “fascinating” sounded spockish
Umm yep, can relate 100%.
Why I could never be called in to work on a day off. Also just staring at youtube shorts bcy car is wrecked so I couldnt go on my vacation. 😂
totally how it is