Do This When He Pulls Away Or Acts Distant | Relationships Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- čas přidán 1. 06. 2024
- Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and what to do when your man pulls away or acts distant.
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When a man pulls back and acts distant completely out of the blue, you may be tempted to wonder what you did wrong, or even place all the blame on him, when the truth is something entirely different (and wildly surprising)!
And there is a way to handle this confusing, painful moment with grace and confidence, which is what I share in today’s video!
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here: www.crackingthemancode.com/coa...
Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
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Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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What if he doesn't receive my calls and ghosts me? I mean he doesn't even read texts either and whenever he does, there is no reply. But a couple of times he has heart reacted to a message
What if ur flirting & sexual active with ur ex & after awhile he turns off his read receipts, says things but doesn't keep his words or promises, wont add u on social media when he says he will, and then makes plans with u but doesn't talk at all the next day & doesn't read any messages & he's older.... but hes done this in the past too but i thought we moved forward after our talk & everything.
'What meant to be yours, will always be yours '.. 🌌 never chase , but attract
True!
Bingoo
Yesss❤
💞💋D€£!nit€|¥💞💋
But then if no one is chasing then no one is attracting
The strategy that I always use when my person pulls away is this: I run away to the hills as fast as I can and it resulted in my person chasing me. And when it happened I lost my interest in them and I dumped them like a doormat. I believe that if your person is in love and sure about you. They don't have to pull away and give you anxiety. A healthy person does not play mind games in a relationship. So PULLING AWAY is a red flag.
I’m like this to I don’t like games
I think this is when they have other partners, so they gets confuse .😀
@@lindaboodram3850 So it is the same thing. Having multiple partners is a huge red flag! There is an infidelity issue!
Very well said I HIGHLY AGREE!!
Perfectly said
It's better not to disturb the guy anymore. Be confident. Better things are coming your way.
@@ewatomialabi1006 I am in love again ! Don't want my ex back.
Voodoo is not cool. Imagine if some guy did this to you? Not right!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@josiecamilo7098 most of these people here commenting on videos like these in this way (whatsapp me, greatest voodoo practicioner of all time etc etc) are just s c a m m e r s
@@ewatomialabi1006 I wanted my rx back and it was an emotional nightmare that I stayed in because I loved him so much. I will never go back for seconds with an ex after that. Now, I trust that if it didn't work out it's for the best. Bye Felicia 👋
If a guy pulls back get busy with your own life. And when he steps forward again and asks you to go on a date, “sorry I’m busy, however I’m available on a certain day next week”. Just be busy with your own life so it doesn’t feel empty.
When a guy is pulling back you are left with a broken heart and a big empty time slot. That doesn't help at all, right? This is a reminder that in any relationship, a girl should maintain her own identity and not give up the things she likes doing on her own. It is ok sometimes to be"we" instead of "I" but it is not ok to be "I" only very rare. There e is power in your own identity, do not give it away.
Why tell him you are busy? If he comes back its the best time to serve him a hot revenge.. He need to learn to learn some lesson otherwise he will break multiple womens hearts...
@@pupdates2008 hi, don’t forget we come to experience life lessons on this beautiful planet 🌎 called earth.
In my case I thank him 🙏 and I evaluated ME. Bcs the reflection her was… I am not any more.
You get it?
You reflection mirror 🪞 is what the universe pair you up with!
So by him leaving, that means either he put grew YOU! And there is a better part of YOU! That he is NOT Matching. Or you when lower on the best version of you. And there forth the Universe said…. Wait! This two souls are not a match made in heaven Any more….. Bcs you outgrow him.
We have a better person for her. Bcs she is being a nicer soul …. There forth she deserves a better more IDENTICAL human being that is her perfect 👍 glove 🧤.
Also don’t forget, revenge is only going to keep you at lower vibration!
Being on L1, poor me, I am the victim.
Noooooo, observing YOU from your higher self, will show you a better human soul and advancing on your soul evolution.
I know now you may said BUT IT HURTS.
I know!
But be happy, he did it now!!!! And not make you waste more time!
You can’t buy time in life.
The 🔜 sooner someone or something said bye alone your path!!!!
The sooner you are more blessed.
Why? 🤷♀️You may said?
My answer is… let’s said he play you alone… for 5 more years. Or even 8 /9 years! I am not ready. ( casual sex) then on 8 or 9 years later… you be watching your clock and youth go on bye. And yet you be waiting on a man/women, that WAS NEVER GOING TO COMIT!!!!!! Just string 🧶you alone.
As you kept on watching your years go bye….. like the wind 🌬 💨
You would got to a point… and said
A*%# why didn’t you said something SOONER!!!!!!!
Ahhhh, now you see 😊
He just did you a favor.
And wish him a blessings!
So those good thoughts 💭
Come back to you like a bumernag🪃
From the UNIVERSE.
Namaste 🙏
Smile …. The universe is watching you!
LoL 😂 sending you LOVE!
Perfect advice.
@@pupdates2008But your advice is truly not optimal.
Don't chase him. Value yourself highly as I do.
Yup I walked away. Need consistency . The end
Period! 📌
Well...some men LOVE a good chase. Will try to encite it figuring you obviously don't want him then. So the "chase" thing goes both ways-they need to run together-take turns chasing for a while-truce! 😝 If he pulls away and you don't respond, he's gone.
That's RIGHT!!!🎶💫🌈🍾🥂
If a man says that is his way of dealing with stress (ghosting or ignoring) and he isn't going to change, walk away babe. You're better than that. Life is too short and there is someone else out there seeking you. God's redirection is your protection.
Exactly that
@Lora yes GOD will be the one to answer, have faith and keep praying
What I’ve found that works for me is to assume he is legitimately busy and that it doesn’t have to do with me. That helps me get a little perspective and space. And remind myself that I’m going to be fine even if he does pull away. I’ve got me.
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.,.....
Love it!
So true! Thanks for sharing!
If he's legitimately busy then he has the responsibility to tell you that otherwise he's probably playing games.
@@sell3100 💯💯💯
This happened to me in my last connection. I was so in love with him. He began getting distant so I asked if there was a problem and if he preferred to end the connection. He said no, apologized, and said he'd do better. In which he did. However, he soon fell off do I left the connection. He made me feel so undesired, undervalued, and a level of sadness I had never felt. Shattered my heart for no apparent reason. I was very good to him. Haven't spoken with him since. I'm still healing and getting myself together.
You deserve the world not to mention the efforts. You won in this case love. 💜 #fuckhim 🙃
@Vina I hear you and sorry you had to experience that.
It stinks that some people can’t have enough respect to communicate and own their stuff:(
So sorry
Im on the same situation right now 😭
Sadly, this is often the case when you become direct. Ghosting is the least direct path a man can take. Unfortunately, when you go direct he will also choose the less direct path of lying about his interest fading. He will even put it back on you. Just wait and see and if you still feel uneasy be gone. Him pulling away means he knows it's not going to work before you do.
If he pulls away he can stay away.
Adults discuss things not run away like a child.
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Message him on Whatsapp
Well said...
Communication is key
💯 Realest comment on here
Unless he is a Cancer...
Absolutely handling it with class is so important. You have to come from a place of knowing that you are enough and deserving of love, and carrying yourself with that knowledge.
Absolutely self love and self worth is important.
Yeah, but the Titanic still sank even while the band played with class.
This comment 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I do agree. You have to love yourself respect yourself and believe in yourself and your worth first. A man in my life I consider a "bonus" I do not count on him to make me happy. I do not need my man I just want him. I might be sad if it does not work, but I will survive whatever happens, and yes he knows that.....
When he pulls away, I'll catch up with my friends, shopping, and spend time with myself.
When I guy pulls away
You walk away. Simple
Don't waste your energy girls
Just love yourself and enjoy life 🥂
Hmmm……The guy I was with for 13 months became distant both physically and emotionally over a couple of weeks. I asked him ‘are you okay? You seem to have a lot on your mind and feel distant.’ He denied there was anything wrong. I noticed his texts also became shorter and more formal. So I asked if we could talk and went to see him. I explained how I felt and asked him how he felt things were going. That’s when he admitted he didn’t feel that we could move any further in our relationship and broke things off. No big arguments, all very calm. So I’ve taken him at his word and not made contact for eight weeks. He’s not made any contact either. So I guess he decided he wasn’t that in to me after all! Such is life. I’m still hurting, but I have great friends and family, so I’m getting on with my life. I’m not turning into a wailing hermit for someone who doesn’t reciprocate my feelings and I’m keeping things in perspective. I’m widowed so I’ve faced and come through worse things than being dumped 😊
PhillyD, believe me, he'll come back, though it might take 2 years.
Damn that sucks
That’s all it takes though… just a basic conversation. Words and adult grown up conversations like grown ups have. It’s not hard and it’s truly disrespectful to just ghost. Damn boys!!!
@@Challenger2A7 Yes, he might come back. And be gone again.
PhillyD: Thank you for sharing this. I'm fairly newly widowed after 37 years of an incredible marriage. I have ideas about dating but admit I feel apprehensive about opening my heart if it isn't the right person. I appreciate Mat's advice and since I'm not quite ready to start dating yet, feel that I have time to put together a game plan. So I very much appreciate the bravery of people like yourself who are willing to share experiences.
"To attract the right guy you've gotta to be will to scare off the wrong guy", note taken.
Ok, I'm going to be brutally honest with this one:
Girls , guys pull away because they loose interest. It's either because they already benefited from you, got what they want and moved to the next one, or, because they can't meet your standards (if you want a high quality relationship/ to be taken seriously and he doesn't want anything serious, etc).
Just try not to rush things, keep your standards high, don't fall for false promises, don't rush into sleeping with them on the early stages of your relationship. Give time, in order for him to get to know you enough to invest in your relationship. He needs to be there for you, as much as you want, not when he just have the time to do so. Remember, it's a man's job to chase. It's a man's job to conquer. And it's your job to make him crave for more. Be smart. 😏😉
Penny You are absolutely right! They pull away/ say their busy for the reasons you mentioned. A woman should focus on getting to know the guy, trying to establish a connection instead of sleeping with him and trying to rush the relationship in general. Be confident and be a bit mysterious. Don’t tell him your whole life story all at once. And stay busy with your life. Have other interests.
Exactly! I felt the same. After he had what he wanted and felt that the thrill is gone then that's it. He loose interest but I am happy that he did it. I am more at peace than before when we were still in contact.
Everything happens for a reason and that reason will always be the best for us.
Let go and let God.
#HaveFaith
Best advise I have ever read! Thanks. ❤️
What a load of bullshit no man should chase any woman as a woman shouldn't chase a man both sees should know there self worth have enough self respect I would never chase any man if they or myself are interested just tell them too many people play stupid mind games that's why so many in wrong relationships and on there own communication is always the key to any relationship
Very true
When he pulls away, I lost interest too. It’s such a turn off that I couldn’t look at that guy again. Because if he really liked me he would not pull away (and I’m not talking about pulling away for couple of days). Life can be very miserable with the wrong person. 🤷♀️
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I love that you said "half of finding the right guy is saying no to the wrong guy more quickly". Thank you so much :)
I experienced this twice in my relationship. First, near beginning of our dating. He pulled away. I went 30+ days no contact unless he contacted me. Then went direct. Went to see him in person. Had the conversation. He was fearful he couldn't be what I needed as he works away from home 6 months of year. Obviously there was something special about this guy. We worked through this and 4+ years later, here we are. Being in our 60's, no future is promised but we are living, loving, each day together. ❤
That's an amazing story. Thanks for sharing
This inspired me. Thank you.
You’re accommodating his situation in the hopes of getting a commitment from him. Good luck with that. Thats not living. Its mind f king each other. You two seem to love it though. Awesome!!
@@byefelicia8632 no I was not accommodating 'his' situation. I was letting him know I understood it and was reassuring him that I wanted to see where our relationship could go. Not every woman can handle a working away from home partner. I can. Trust. Commitment. And chemistry and interest are the reasons in the beginning. They grow into something real or not. In our case, they grew. 5+ years together ❤
I’m literally crying reading this .. it’s so beautiful .. I love my boyfriend so much amd we are arguing and not talking for the millionth time and he always does come back .. but it’s so tough just waiting for him cause he’s my best friend and I just want to be with him ..but I give him his space to always process .. it just hurts in between
Let him go, I no longer do the in & out especially if i' m ghosted/ ignored, I know my worth , you missed a good thing and that' s your loss, I don' t pressure or chase and I continue to focus on myself💗💗💗
The old pulling away act has happened to me three times where I really cared. I'd cry and moan to my friends, relatives, the dog, anyone who would listen, but leave him completely alone. The problem is that when he came back usually within three months, I really didn't care about him anymore and I had moved on. Yep, three months is usually how long it takes for him to change his mind about me and I about him. Why would anyone want to be with a person like that for a lifetime is beyond me.
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@@musaseid2417 how
When a man doesn't want to be with you or if he doesn't care about you, he's not going to talk to you about why he's not interested, they aren't wired like that so YOU move forward in yourself!! If you've developed a relationship and mutual love/care for each other, then he'll communicate. So if he's leaving early on, he's not interested or he's processing. Either way, step away and let him do it. Don't contact him asking why. If u meet someone new in the meantime, great, if he comes back and u wanna try again, great.
@@Frana1452 don't allow it, women get desperate and just deal with stuff, women need to stop letting men use their bodies without commitment
I learned about men pulling away in that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, book. I usually just give men their space and I don't take it personally.
That's a book? Sounds interesting!
Do they come back?
@@Gloria37913 same thoughts
@@Gloria37913 Yes typically they do come back.
@@MissDeTria Thanks!
Block him and never speak to him again. Life’s too short to be dealing with unnecessary anxiety and stress.
Dont block him just delete his number and continue with your life
@@jaelesilaba1404 why not block him?
I block them as well eventhough it takes so much will to do so
Exactly that’s what I do, I don’t chase I know my value I block them and life continues this makes me feel better.
@@jaelesilaba1404 agreed
1. Build the belief: Him or someone better still.
2. Pay attention on how he is showing up or handling this moment.
3. Go direct and ask him. Ask him what’s going on, over conversation, not text.
Thanks for the summary.
But what if you’re long distance and all you can do is text, since he doesn’t feel like calling after an argument?
I usually understand when a relationship is over, but I do appreciate true talk. Letting someone try to hang on to something that doesn't exist anymore is a bit cruel. I'm usually the one who provokes the conversation. "If it's over, please tell me and let me advance in my life instead of waiting".
Well when you are relationship you can not. Move on without letting them know or getting sure because you were once committed to him
Yes they wanna keep u hanging my sending u money showing kindness n niceness etx but say oh I can’t marry u u know my situation
They r just bluffing
I like that
Yes ❤
unfortunately, when I feel someone pull away, I pull away and will end the relationship. This is something I'm working on but I know it comes from a fear of rejection. I want to "reject" him by ending things before he ends things with me
I've been there a few years ago, after working on my life and my happiness, it's so much easier to face this head on without trying to push the other away.
You can achieve the same as well, all the best!
@@Toastiel thank you so much for your encouraging words!!!
The right guy will not pull away. The right guy will stick around or come back around. You got the wrong guys.
From experience, consider looking at attachment styles - you may be dismissive avoidant or fearful. Thais Gibson has some great videos
I do the same thing 😔
I haven't messaged him for a while too. Never disturbed him, then he came back texting like nothing happened. So what I did is I act cold.. Then out of the blue he asked if I still want him. Sometimes you have to let them taste their own medicine.
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I remind myself that I am worthy, I am the prize, then i invest in myself by working out and taking care of my body, i work on my goals and connect with my friends.It works like magic!
Preach
I really don’t get the point why guys pull away and act distant to their partner during stressful times while they can just talk it out maturely
I mean it’s so easy like:hey I’ve been having a stressful time and i want to be on my own for sometime.
Isn’t that way better than disappearing all of a sudden and make ur partner wonder what she has POSSIBLY done wrong that u’re acting this way?
The funny part is that y’all think it’s always women who should “handle” this situation and there’s no content out there on how guys should behave in ways that can make the situation pass a lot easier
The first sign that he pulls away ie: less phone calls, what I call "light" excuses why he cant see me, and overall vagueness, I stop. Instantly, stop. If he doesn't call, I dont call. If he isn't available to spend time together, I dont pursue. If he's vague, I don't press. It Never works. Ever. Unfortunately and fortunately, I'm so numb to rejection now, I just move on.
I think It’s not okay to pull back from a loving relationship and leave the other partner hanging.
Yeah what’s this conditioning people to accept being discarded or not treated well. People need to not be cowards and be honest. The psychological harm that comes from ghosting is research literature.
Exactly. I am married to back puller and it is not funny.😶
Arc, you're 100% correct. It's absolutely not okay for someone to pull away from a relationship and leave the other person hanging.
I've been on both ends and I've learnt from it...
@@truffaut650truffaut6 it's heartbreaking and will certainly kill me in the end.
When he's gone... Have a good time & maintain your beauty. He'll be back. He's probably gonna lie about his whereabouts. Accept him as he is or leave him out of your life. He's going to keep doing the same thing regardless.
Matt, you are absolutely right! We need to be our own advocate. Never run after a man. If he truly cares about you, he won’t be wishy washy, or leave you hanging and thinking.
When a man pulls away, I assume he’s lost interest, so I simply move on. Usually that is the case. But depending on the guy, and the level of interest they’ve shown before and how serious they are, I will reach out if I haven’t heard from them in a while. I’ll ask them why they’ve been distant. Some have good reasons, and with these men I try to take it slow with them. A little bit of absence of someone you like can create desire or feelings… if he liked me he would always come back
@Alice-Ada Ationu scammer
But why can't he communicate?
Am I also allowed to do the same when I am trying to figure myself out if I wanna be with him or not
@@mzyvonnehangara7637 Maybe u can ask him if he would like to take things slow with u until u both can figure out where things are going? 😊
He can communicate he just chooses not to the only acceptable reason is if he's working out of the country or a family member is sick and he's the only caregiver .and trust me if they suddenly change the amount of attention/physical Intimacy that they give compared to before theyre talking to someone else or cheating
God is the major source of Love. Dear beautiful ladies, make Him the first source, you wouldn't act needy to guys then. Its strong and independent place to be in and help in relations.
Rubbish.
Great advice.
If you have to ask for something more than once, it most likely wasn't worth it in the first place. Detach and go 'no contact' and make them think why they behavior isn't exceptable, but don't question yourself or chase them. Let them run to you. Act like you couldn't care less about them. Once they do text or call you remind them that your time is valuable and you also have responsibilities too.
Exactly
For all this time, I have been trying different strategies to "keep" a guy until I met this man. Dating him made me realise that I just have to be myself (ofc this doesn't include being selfish etc - if so, need to fix this). I didn't even have to use the push and pull technique. He's always been there for me regardless. Now I think if I have to use all kinds of techniques (which I think is sort of manipulative in nature) then this guy is not for me and I'll just let him go. If he's the guy, you don't need to use this push and pull technique whatsoever. Just be yourself.
2:04 ... so true... he disappeared for 2 months and I was so heartbroken. But I left him alone. And he messaged me that he missed me on fb. I didnt see it for a month. I finally saw it we reconnected and well its been 3 years and we have a baby now
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. For me, If a guy pull away, I just ignore him and let him go. I have my own standard and never chase a man.
Same thoughts
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if there is one place i need serenity and peace it's with a man i deeply care about, this is a place i don't appreciate guessing games, mind games, or confusion...if it happens - I will pull away almost permanently. I like a man who is strong in his convictions, what he believes in and gives me the courtesy of been vulnerable enough to talk to me - closing off send red flags to me - if he needs a few days or needs time with his lads then take it, but don't shut me out. He should think about how it would feel if it was him. Basically, be a genuine gentleman.
YES, well said!
Even more so now- time is precious and if you don’t value communication and being in the moment- keep moving.
I so agree. He should be a man.not play games and act his age. We are both pensioners. I'm so fed up with playing games all the time.
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Mat gave the best advice I carry till today, " You can't screw the right thing " and he's totally right, I carry this with confidence and it gave me more chance to open up more to guys, am happier now, thanks Matt!
I remind myself of that advice every day too 💕
Can I ask, what have you been opening up about? What you feel? Or need?
I think his advise sucked.
I 100% just leave the person alone. It's a major turn off to me and nonsense. It's best to just work on yourself to release yourself of that attachment and pain of needing them especially if you know you did nothing wrong. Sometimes they could be under money stress or stress at work, some have depression or bipolar problems, other times they are upset at you for some reason unknown or maybe they are seeing someone else.
Whatever the hell it is, I have zero tolerance to hang around with someone who chooses to leave me in the dark about things. They have a mouth they can open it. I can't stand to be with someone who can't open their mouth to communicate at least 2 sentences. Silent treatment is immature, I don't care what stress you have, they should be considerate to a woman period.
If women keep enabling this silent treatment behavior from their lovers, nothing's going to change.
I do believe in giving space for sure, but at least they can be honest and say something. But then again a lot of women can't handle the truth so many of times men are not always comfortable with opening up.
Life's too short to be with a closed up person. If that's their style to shut down and not at least explain why they are pulling away or need space then to me it's not worth it, they will always do it again in the future, using that as their coping mechanism.
Been there done that, it amounts to nothing. I am a psychic and a dating coach for women as well and I sadly see my female clients suffer from this way too much. Just walk away, these guys don't change and trying to learn all these tactics just to keep them will make you miserable and feel stupid and desperate.
Not worth it having to jump through hoops for a guy and fly to the moon just because you can't be alone with yourself. Face your fears and pain, don't worry about men. That's how you can start loving you better. 💗
EPIC - “To attract the right guy, you have to be willing to scare off the wrong one” 💜💯😁
As painful As it is. I'm giving him space. However, preparing myself for the worst. I'm keeping busy, getting my life together. Sorting through stuff.
I've got myself a new number waiting on my new phone to come in.
I already did my crying. I'm going through my process of grief.
I'm also giving myself time not to do anything stupid such as cheat on him out of hurt or rejection.
At night, I put my phone someplace where it can't be reached easily.
I go to sleep.
You are doing good 😊 I know it Hurts just give it time and be very kind to yourself ❤️
@@KAAT2239 Thank you🌹❤
Yes It's a good idea to use the pulling away as a time to prepare for the worst. Men are not dumb and they know that if they neglect you they risk losing you. Don't entertain men who take the risk of losing you lightly.
Gosh I’m so happy on my own that I honestly don’t know if I ever want to be in another romantic type of relationship! I meet all my needs. ☺️
You still need to give someone else chance to love,
but you need to be careful who you fall in love with ♥️❤️❤️❤️
love is a beautiful thing it makes you more happier.
@@chinancyk7780 I’m not stopping anyone from loving me. And I have a lot of love in my life, love is not derived from another person, my friend. At 55 years old, I’m just not sure I want to be in a ‘romantic’ relationship. But yes to love, always! 😃❤️
interesting - guess i’m doing “it” wrong because I like being in a relationship and don’t feel the same.
These covid days, too much alone time…
@@chinancyk7780 yeah but its pk to be single and happy too. Everyone is different and they choose how to live their lives. We don't all need to be dating and in relationships.
The 3rd step is me...i rather know his reason sooner than later...deal the outcome maturely..
Strategy I just used TODAY!
1. Are you doing alright you seem not your usual wonderful self, what’s up Babe?
Him: I’m ok love
2. Okay, you just seem extremely quiet & a bit distant
Him: just trying to get my mind right
Next thing I said was just reminded him of how great he is, why I love him and just spoke encouragement from my ❤️ the way I see it regardless of why he’s withdrawn I want him to feel respected, loved, supported & appreciated!
I then let him know that I’m here for him and left it at that. 😊 hopefully he’ll open up & share or we’ll just go back to normal or even better. Either way, I’m confident everything will be fine.
I love your approach, thank you for sharing it 🙏🏻💖✨
I like this approach im communicative as well ..
Good advice for a guy who is maybe having a bad day etc.
If he was really pulling away, he wouldn't call you "Love" and he wouldn't give an explanation, he would say something like. "I'm fine, and you"?
This came in at exactly the moment I needed it! Thank you Matt! Great content!
I always feel so much more optimistic after your videos. Thanks, Mat!
Mat, I really like how you explain things is such a positive and proactive way.
I "LOVE" your video intro! It is simple and clean and very easy/ light on the ears; ❤ it!
Thank you Matt
You give the best common sense, easy to follow advice.
This came at a time I need it the most.
The best point that works for me always is building a belive either him or a better person will always come soon.
The best thing to do when a man pulls is to say or do absolutely nothing expect moving forward and never looking back.
You are worth so much more and you don't need to deal with unhealthy guys who play silly little mind games...
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Msg him on What"sapp
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By far the best advice I’ve seen on this topic, and I’ve watched a ton because I’m in this space at the moment. Short quick to the point, and great advice. Sometimes we know these things but it makes it a little more acceptable when you hear someone else say it, thanks!
Perfect timing! Thank you 😊
Honestly so refreshing to hear truly good healthy advice. Not advice with some hidden motive or game.
I went out with a guy for 4dates. We are both introvert people. We had good time for the first 3 dates. I was the one asking him if he wanted to hang out for 2nd,3rd and 4th dates. During the 4th date, he went quiet most of the time and it was awkward. I didn’t want to say something at that time. It bothers me for 2 days after the 4th date. So I decided to call him and ask if he was ok, was there something bothering him or if I did something wrong. He just told me “I’m just like that sometimes and there was nothing to talk about.”……… At that moment, I know I won’t ask him out again, I’ll let him decide if he wants to contact me and meet again. I don’t want to chase him, like I did with my ex bf. There are plenty of guys out there, maybe he is not the one for me.
Been through that. He just acted distant . Like it really hurts 😪 no matter how I message him , nothing was effective . And so, I just accepted the fact that He's not the one for me .
@@Angelica-vz9rt yea…they are weird. And I hate chasing people. I used to do that and it’s tiring and wasting time! 😣
@@jennyy6606 😓😓😓😓 they consume good energy away . So strange .
@@Angelica-vz9rt did u find someone else after that?
Jenny Don’t ask him out - he should have been asking you. Especially in the first few dates at least. It’s different if you’ve been dating a month or two and you ask him if he wants to see a movie that’s coming out that you want to see - something along those lines. But the man must do the asking for the first couple of months at least.
This is gold. Thank you, Mat!
When a man pulls back, what you do?
*YOU LEAVE!!!!*
Ghost, block, and *delete!!!* He does not get to pass _GO._ He does not get _the benefit of the doubt._ He does not get _another chance._ And he does not get a place in your social media.
Your youth, beauty, passtimes/hobbies, career, education, and *TIME* are way too valuable to be trying to _get a man to commit._
A man that does not want to commit *to you,* you let him go. Men are like buses: there's a new one every 20 minute, whether you're 16 years old or 600 years old.
Love what you said!❤️
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Don't bother with this dude. Give *YOURSELF* what *YOU* desire the most.
If *HE* wanted to, *HE WOULD!*
After all, I'm the one who's been married 10+ years.
I'm speaking out of experience. I ditched all these dumb men who played bullshiit _bait-and-switch_ shiit tests, games, and got rid of all of them. Why? Because I wanted a real man... and found a man who desired me and was all in. No games, no _shiit test,_ just commitment. These male dating coaches just want women to cater to men with little reward for ourselves.
I just want to say;
I am in a happy relationship with two kids but I still love watching you because you are so positive and full of good vibes and good for self confidence!
Thanks for those advices. I had a good conversation over the phone when he pulled away. I told him I had great time with him but I had sensed some distance. I told him that we both rushed and felt the same and that need time to think. I assured him I understand and in case he needs to talk!, he can always call.
I typically match energy and turn away and move as if I’m okay even when I’m not. This is REALLY good information 👍🏾
Thank you Matt for the great advice I had this happen to me my boyfriend of 10 years kept leaving me every weekend to be with his mom & Dad. He should be with me he told me his parents are getting older now so he wants to help them he stays there all weekend comes into the city goes to work and comes to my house to eat and sleep I feel like a second mom of his. He kept on leaving even on special holidays I told his not to come back and we have not spoken to each other since last Christmas.
The last advice is great. Everyone go like "ignore him too, run away, don't message him more" . No if you had a great bond before you need to communicate. If they don't communicate back anymore, then you understand that it's done. But ask them first.
Matt, I want to thank you so much for this ! The timing and me seeing this , I know , was meant for me ! I am actually going through this right now.
And I needed a man’s perspective on what to do or how to react. The last words I heard was , “ I love you, baby!” That was a little over a week ago. I needed this video to realize reality. Also, I needed to realize that you have even experienced this. Yes, you are so right , he is not the source of love- there is a greater source that brings the soulmate type of partner ! I needed this confidence! Thank You so much!!
Certainly, I agree with number 3 advice. Everything you said is true. To resolve any gaps in communication is to talk positively. That will surprise him... Many thanks! Mat, you're an amazing guy, your wife is lucky to have you. Keep it up 🙏🏼
my guy pulled away about 3 months after being together. He didn't even look at me or talk to me and we were always in the same place. I played it cool like nothing changed in my life. I caught him looking at me quite a bit. Then I would have small talk with him. Then one day we were in this place by ourselves so I walked right up to him and asked him if we were going to talk like friends again which was one of the things we always enjoyed each other. He started acting that he wanted to talk and we did. Then one day he came up to me and said he played a certain song on the juke box. It was "you are a hard habit to break and I am addicted to you." He could not get me off of his mind. We slowly got back to being ourselves we were before. Now he wants us to be known as a couple. I found out he was talking about me all the time to friends. He needed this time to figure things out how he really felt and needed some approval from his family and close friends. See we are 22 years apart. Everyone said age is just a number and asked him was he happy with me, which is the important thing!
i respect you so much and honestly can’t thank you enough for not doing a click bait ‘find out how’ video by making us girls join a patreon in our time of need. subbed as fast as humanly possible ❤
Hi Matt! Thank you for blessing us all with this information. I am in an AMAZING relationship now and I still listen to your teachings to remain my best self. Your messages keep me grounded. When I felt my love fall back a bit, I checked in with myself prior to communicating with him which is was helpful to our relationship. He needed space to rejuvenate and was so grateful that I gave him the time to do so. He actually praised me for being supportive and understanding, and we both became closer. Again, thanks for your messages; have a wonderful day! ☀️
That’s really good self-awareness on your part 👏🏾
I love that third step to call him and ask directly what is happening and how that will reveal how he handles a difficult conversation because if you two are going forward it’s going to be a skill that both men and women want in a partner. Not easy to do but the outcome should be a game changer
Amen. Finally some sound advice on this topic! 👌Much appreciated 🙏
I usually address such situations by distancing off, but thanks for sharing this video which suggests more powerful and equally compassionate ways.
After my last failed relationship.ive learned a lot of lessons from a Narc ex.now im in a new relationship and i had a mindset that if he pulls away i give space and i never initiate to pursue i just live my life just like when i was before i met him.whatever happen i told myself i will be ok and pursue my own goal.
Coz i dont want to stress myself thinking about it.
I will live my life without him.and no second chance instead i say next!!
Sometimes I just want a stone heart because I have been through a lot 🤦🏾♀️. Sometimes I feel like staying by myself forever 🤷🏽♀️
Hi, get help from Dr Steve to bring your ex back and attract your (SP) someone you love to you, you might have try others Spellcasters and they disappoint you, but I can assure you 100% and also staking my life on it that Dr Steve can help you and make your ex beg you for a second chance because he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. I will advise you seek his help now thanks.
I hear you, Coco. You don’t want to take the chance to open up and potentially get hurt…it’s a dilemma huh?
@@planetwalker798 it is 😯
Ask yourself, can you remember any man that was legitimately into you ever pulling away for more than say, a day? A person who is about you won't want you to worry about their interest more than a little bit here and there. More than a day of worry is showing a lack of interest. Remember, he may say otherwise if confronted, but pulling away cannot become a pattern without something being significantly wrong. Also realize that this pulling away is bad for you. Do you really want to fall for someone who constantly puts you through something so negative?
Makes sense, but people have different rhythms. My ex-boyfriend was always calling and texting, at some point I had to tell him, please, I need my peace, let's talk tomorrow or something. I need to get to miss you 😂 We were together for years and broke up over other (serious) things
After watching this, I'm not watching any other videos concerning it again. Good teacher
Thanks everyone, great video and great comments!
I appreciate this video. It was JUST what I needed to hear today. Especially Step 1 as to what I need to do if he's distant. I haven't heard anyone say this before. 🙏🏻
Love this video - thank you so much - good point about how we're connected to
source!
This was so empowering for women to hear!! You TRULY get us and want the best for us (..if you’re not already, you would make an amazing girl-dad, btw) Thank you and God bless you!!🙏🏽
Hi matt, I've been seeing my boyfriend for 10 months now and we have managed to talk about this stage where we are. It is exactly what you are talking about where the discussion of whether when and how to proceed to the next level is there. He communicated the need for space and time. And we have been communicating openly about it. It really brings in some fear but you're right, it may be a process men really do need to go through .
great advice. but the most important thing is what you said: doing things from a place of "non attachment" that takes real self control
The thing is i did ask him why he doesn’t text/call so much but the answer was “he is really busy”
Well he was busy before and found that time.😢
Thank you Matt so much for your videos and this one particular is exactly what I just had right now.
Asking direct does work. Gives u clarity in where u both stand.
This has come at the in prefect time and I'm in learning so much
A man should have manners and not ghost and at least ring to say no thanks now
The most helpful video I have ever watched. I was thinking of the third strategy and and you just confirmed. I am a person who is very direct and I like open communication.
Great as always Mat ! I like you by far most the best, your advice is always loving and very natural , thank you!🙏🌹
You can never screw up the right thing love from a new youtuber
I found that texting or calling him telling him something interesting that has happened or is happening or that he is interested in helps alot you get him talking and communicating more makes him more comfortable with you
Wow needed to hear this again. Thank you! 😊
Asking him what he wants in your relationship shows you are confident enough to put him on the spot. That will also stop all guessing. His answer & the way he answers tells you where his heart is.
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Finally someone who brings together this emotional, feeling-related topic in a clever, clear, human, grounded way without any "you must" and without manipulative ideas or without psycho-games. Anyway it can be a painful process, but even if I am not super-balanced and strong right now ( but that s ok, I embrace my vulnerability, so-called "bad" feelings and my desire for closeness :) I feel very supported by a very healthy and clear way of seeing the situation. Thank you for that!
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after being separated for 4months . All thanks to Mr Ali whom help me to get back my ex again, I will suggest y'all get help from him and it works within 4days
Matt you're AMAZING! Thank you 🌸🎁
Your last sentence is so powerful and uplifting, thank you ❤
I like first being direct and asking what is up. It's more confident to be direct and inquire than it is just float off. Pride will make you want to float off, but it's more self-respecting to address the issue before leaving. It also encourages him to open up and be direct about his own feelings in the event that he's trying to ghost with no guilt. If he still doesn't open up and continues to pull away, you have your answer.
The direct part honestly solves so much. Once they blow u off directly its so much easier for u to be OVER IT. That also screws them over too cause then they dont keep u around for the ego boost lol
Thank you...great content that's much needed....but most of all I'm learning that I'm amazing and I'm not always the problem..
Thank you so much, I really do love the first and second strategy. Thank you for all you do.