Family members who constantly use you: what to do
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- čas přidán 3. 11. 2017
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People who use you! Family who use you. How to tell if someone using you? What to do if someone constantly using you? How to deal with when someone is using you?
My grandmother needed a lot of help. I did everything ...her 6 kids did nothing. Once I said no I cant...She turned on me. And now the whole family don't talk to me. After all I done.
Hi Candace. The is is how certain family members are. They never care to reach out unless it’s to build up to ask for something (your time or money). They don’t mind wasting their own time and money…that probably why they needed your help. It’s fake love! Count it a blessing that they leave you alone now. You’ve lost nothing but gained time and money you can sow somewhere else that you can reap later!
I am fed up, and threw away my whole family, each side. They used me up, then disrespected me right after and got cold, and now I am gone. Each time they want to vent or help they call me, but don't ever call any other time. I plan on moving as far as I can from them.
48 year old and just realized everyone of my friends and family just want a cheap plumber! I'm so done. 3 years i haven't heard from my cousin but his shitter is clogged so he calls a 630 at night! What a douch. My friend who's husband i found dead in the woods can't even call and say hi once in a while. But something goes wrong and they want me to fix it. They don't even ask if i should get paid? I run a business not a charity.
Just cut them off! Its not worth it just because they are your blood relatives. They will use you till you drop dead. They don't really give a damn. They also love talking about you like a dog behind your back.
@Cassa Miller So very sorry about your situation. I mean that is your mother. This is a hard one for me to give you some advice. Try to encourage your mother more into getting a job to take care of herself. Is she very old? Maybe you can just put her in a nursing home if she can't take care of herself.
Everybody for themselves. Now I know better.
cherry waken. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
Tyler JTI Thank you.
Blessings💚
Cherry Wallen Yes that's what they are about Themselves and after they get what they want they will talk about you and lie and say that they ain't never asked you for shit lieing Ass mutherfuckers that's why I don't fuck with them and don't give two shits if they don't fuck with me
Life is completely controversial! We have been lied to thinking that most People are such great people, family are loyal and the people you die, friends will always have your back, etc... all that is a lie! genuine people and real people are hard to find!
Oh man Tyler this is good ,I have a cousin who drains me emotionally I had to quit answering the phone its to toxic
monae sweety. I hope it gets better in your situation with your cousin. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
My family only treats me better when they want something. They also ask me for money. I broke my trauma bond with them 6 months ago by joining groups.
I’ve been broke for months like months all of a sudden I just start to make a little change they want it this is why I don’t tell people my business
josh you hit the head on the nail family know you got money or people they become money seeking vampires
This message is right on point 👉.
I'm sick in tired of being being sick in tired of these blood leaches.
I'm making a lot of changes, setting boundaries.
Thank you Tyler. 🕊🕊
I needed to hear this in this tone of voice today. I’m tired of people getting over on me. I will apply it. Thank you!!!!!’👍🏾
yvonce.thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
I’m sick of it too!
this bro is speaking FACTS 💯💯
I’ve learned these lessons the hard way
Just say NO ! And I volunteered to pay for something and was overcharged… you’re so right Tyler don’t loan anything make them work for it , that’s what I do to ppl that want a handout!
Thanks for saving us 13 minutes and 20 seconds of nonsense and getting straight to the point. Thank you for your service.
Sadly it means they don't respect you and that hurts more then them using you but Standing up for yourself is also self healing I think
Thank you for doing this video. I have one rule. I do not loan and I do not borrow, that includes family members and I do not make excuses. Simply put, genetics has absolutely nothing to do with my Bank Account. That sends the message that I am financially responsible.
My family always pull the guilt trip on me when I put my foot down.
Yep. This is relating to me. And if you let them use you they will constantly do it. Behind close doors. SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO JUST LET THE DOOR BE OPEN THAT WAY YOU CAN GET ALL THE. TRASH AND DIRT OUT. YOU DON'T NEED NO DIRT IN YOUR LIFE...
My mom always wants large sums of money so I told her if she babysits her grandkids... suddenly she was ok
Good message, thanks. Family can be so draining. They can’t build themselves up so drag us down with them.
What if it’s your mother who you’ve helped all your childhood/adult life financially and morally, and she won’t even attempt to try to help herself? I see she is capable of things but she won’t even get a drivers license to help her own transportation needs... then always expects her child to assist her like how parents are supposed to assist their children. The roles are reversed and now I am ill and not able to supply and be her extra help (supplement) she’s been relaying on all these years but her situation is still the same. She’s not even addicted to drugs or have alcoholic issues. I care but I have a family of my own now to care for. I have given her all the suggestions I can possibly think of but she just won’t do anything...not even to see if any options will work or not. 😳🤦🏾♀️ I am extremely saddened and hate to see her not moving forward in any way.
Im here for you, I need a new family lol My mom and the whole family being using me and my brother talent all our lives! My father pass away on April 22, 2019, He was the only human being in the family that love me and my brother! Look up Assist Student Athletes in Richmond, Va! Thats what my brother and I do! In life I had to look at other families to have a family connection it was that bad!
Am supposed to be starting my family but they’re doing the same. Am supporting my siblings, small favors that add up to a lot at the end of the month
I'm seeing this 5 years late. But you say no to her. Politely but firmly. I did too. They will adjust. Humans are extremely resilient. They will find a way to make a living. Don't worry about her. And don't be under the weight of her "favours". Raising you was her duty. It's not a favour. You didn't ask her to conceive you. She did it on her own.
She will be mad at you. Let her be. Make sure you're financially super strong. Get a job that pays well and set up a career trajectory that has potential for growth. By doing so, you're making sure that you won't fall flat and go back to her if something goes wrong in your life. You cannot go back. Because that will pump her ego up like anything!!
I'll repeat. Work hard, earn well, be independent, be polite and follow god's plan. People who don't want to help you do not deserve to be in your life. People who only want to use you, tell them it's a 2 way street.
Yes Tyler,if you dont work,you don't eat.😂😂😂
That's so true
What about family members who won’t ask but talk about their problems waiting for you to offer help? Because now the guilt trip is being played on me.
Angiemusicart....I'm so glad you brought that up. I have a neighbor like that, she's like a fish bowl and I can see right through her, only she don't know it. She talks about her financial problems and need for $$$$ for this and that. So one day I told her how to fix her $$$$ problems and she didn't like it. She don't talk to me anymore. Go figure.
I'm so glad to see that this not only happened to me, but to others as well. Me and my better half have been used by family members for years. Are you keeping the baby this week? We need a battery for the car? We have no food to eat? Is Dad buying me a washer and dryer? They don't call you unless they need something. Dad buys the washer and dryer. Everybody is happy hugging necks and saying thank you. Next time you go down to see them you are made to feel unwelcome and like you are not wanted there. The only time we have peace in our life is when we keep their toxicity out of our life. We have asked ourselves if our life is better because of them? It appears that it is not. As you can tell it is 4:12 A.M. in the morning and I'm writing this. We have a decision to make. It is never easy.
That is like half of my family, so I decided to just throw them all out of my life.
@@ladybird491 Best Decision You Made Boo I Did The Same Shit💯
Thank you!! Personal accountability! I needed to hear this!!
You right Tyler. My relatives hardly call me unless they want to ask nosey questions or they want me to help them out with a money issue other than that my relatives nor family don't call me nor come and visit me. When I was around them all they did was use me and tell people I have no emotions and that I'm slow. Now that I have my own and doing much better in my life they got very quite on me. But it's all candy because when I do the impossible they really going to be shook.
I'm late to this but it's relatable. Can't wait until I'm able to move on.
I needed to hear this thank you !
This topic only is the reason why I subscribe to your channel starting today!
Ty for letting me know that I'm not alone
How about family who never call to see you when they got money but only when they broke.
I have went as far as taking out a loan for a couple ofsiblings. No more. If I didn’t, they would place a guilt trip on me. They would call me evil , no heart. I used to feel bad when such things were said to me but not anymore. I later asked myself this question: what evidence did they have that I was evil. The answer to that , I had done nothing to them to think I’m evil. It was just a guilt trip to get me to get a loan for them. Debt that they created. Then after I did it, they said thank you but they talked about me behind my back to people outside the family. And the loan I took out for them, they did not pay me back. I live and learn. The older I got, the wiser I got. I will not be a fool anymore to win approval from others.
I like the way you think. God bless
Perfect! Thank you Tyler xx
03LisaJade. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
Exactly what I needed.
Tyler your so right I got a son always want to baby sit his two childrens I cant stand them they are toxic hard to deal with this grandchildrens.Im so stress and so sick every time I go their house.very disrespectful their behaviour is OS way out you will vomit.Age of 6 and 3.no discipline whatsoever.I feel sick every time I go to Las Vegas that's where they live.I just been there.They want me only they needed me.I listen to your videos I now know what to do.All you said is so true.you said the truth.This really help me what to say.Thank you Tyler I really appreciate you.I wont go back there anymore even though I love them.i might just cut them off.Thank you for your advice.
damn, Papa tell us how you feel. i can feel the pain in your voice.
Used to be a certain daughter. The bank of mum is CLOSED!
Victoria Campbell hmmmm
Victoria Campbell 😂😂😂😂😂lol. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
Same with my 21yo daughter.
I needed this assap❤
Love your advice
This is for me I'M IN THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW AND KNEW IT BUT CAUSE OF A TITLE I IN A WAY LOOKED OVER IT. BUT I HAD TO DO THIS I'M THROUGH BEING WALKED ON AND WALKED OVER. THANKS
I put my foot down with my son and his girlfriend. Now they won't let me see my granddaughter. They rarely let me see her before that anyway.
Bonnie Irvin. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
Bonnie Irvin they are bunch of twats
Yes!!!
What do I do if I have a dark past and feel I owe them? I feel so bad I wish I could make up for the past. Do you do videos on overcoming your dark side and becoming loveable?
Tired of grifter family members. I find it hard to say no - I know the problem is inside me, no boundaries
I know the feeling FAMILY is bad about it.
I had a family member I got in touch with over Christmas asked me for 120 to get his car fixed. Swore he would pay me back. A month later still not paid me back (which is ok) but asked me a $3,500 I said no the. He asked me to ask my mother. Wow!
True
Very good bro kick useless family be strong
100%
Tyler how are you ? I love your energy, I would like to ask you something extremely important. Well days ago I’ve tried to communicate with my twin flame to Check up on him as a human being ... his action was absolutely so disrespectful like really ? Believe me no one should talk this way and his action they didn’t have a meaning . The bottom line is that after that happened something I felt detached, like this burden left ... is where the universe know finally released me from that ? Are you familiar with this feeling ?
keip taoun.no I am not. peace and blessings to you.
Like
Kevin Turner. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
I love when he says Nartistic😂
😂
They are not family, they are users. They are relatives, not family!
A family member, who tries to use me, isn't family.
Let them tell it you’re selfish
💯💯💯📝☑
Monique Applin. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
Just don't end with the money... Let you have a place of your own. They will downplay your residence, tell you that you charging too much rent or don't respect your rules. Mind you, I don't remember one time that I ever cried on their doorstep asking them for anything.
My mom an brother kept calling me for money,I stay in different city,my mom came to the city I live an my mom didn’t come see me plus don’t barely talk to me an she got a boyfriend who don’t take care of the household or anything.He smoke & drink an argue with your mom everyday and night..I have my own place an my brother don’t work he asking me for money none of them don’t talk to me
They will not do the work, so that won't work!
They use reverse psychology.
That's true LMBO
Do my 5 extra count my family members wants to borrow.
Feeling manipulated angry then I get constipated it's nit fair
I have a grown brother and daughter who cusses me out if I don't give them money and then I don't answer back which leaves them knowing they can't ask me for another dime. I don't care if you get so mad your nose bleeds my answer is no!!!
I have a son that helps me all the time I am not using him.thats what grown men do that help there mother.case close!✌✌✌✌✌
Lucille Samuel. thank you so much for your comment peace and blessings to you.
If he doesn't help you how would you feel ?
Lucille Samuel if he is helping you without you asking, that’s not a problem. As long as you don’t think he is obligated. I feel you in that case
She sounds toxic as hell. Her son is not obligated to do shit for her.
@@Jaxxon123 I know right! Toxic as hell. If her son is married, I'm sure the wife strongly dislike her lol your son is not obligated to take care of you especially if he has his own family. Where is your man? Stop treating your son like a suggorate husband.
You are right but sometime your brother and sisters staring cry front of you to take your promise to send them money. You work soo much hard to keep your promise. And there is no end. Emotionally use you