The Crypto Billionaire Rapper Is Very Bad

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 15. 02. 2022
  • FOLLOW ME (i'm fun i promise)
    ► / jarvis
    ► / jarvis
    MAIN CHANNEL
    ► / jarvis
    Subreddit ▸ / unnamedfanbase
    Merch ▸ jarvis.clothing
    P.O. Box ▸ 3108 Glendale Blvd Suite 540, Los Angeles CA 90039
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 2,6K

  • @seshg2012
    @seshg2012 Před 2 lety +9739

    Her ability to stay on beat is so non-existent it might as well be an NFT

    • @nukiradio
      @nukiradio Před 2 lety +400

      Atleast nfts are supported by SOMETHING. This woman's rythm is an IMAGINARY FRIEND

    • @gracievela7514
      @gracievela7514 Před 2 lety +297

      @@nukiradio They ain't even imaginary friends mate they're complete strangers

    • @xenon8927
      @xenon8927 Před 2 lety +69

      @Lala begone bot.

    • @amusiclover7340
      @amusiclover7340 Před 2 lety +6

      💀

    • @nnmnch8071
      @nnmnch8071 Před 2 lety +14

      i am right clicking her rap

  • @cloudyvulpine
    @cloudyvulpine Před 2 lety +814

    she feels the type of girl to be like "omg dont have a crush on me" when her friend comes out as lesbian

  • @alisdraws
    @alisdraws Před rokem +850

    When jarvis is singing the 'bad bitch' verse he's already more on beat than she is. Her ability to be off beat is honestly impressive

    • @isqqcc
      @isqqcc Před 6 dny +1

      you can not be more off beat on PURPOSE if you know anything about music, because it will literally hurt

  • @DemonlyVoid
    @DemonlyVoid Před 2 lety +1211

    It gets "better" when you go on Genius and you realize she made her own annotations for the lyrics

  • @anntoniataylor8404
    @anntoniataylor8404 Před 2 lety +10447

    she is absolutely ALLERGIC to the beat

    • @breezemansker3366
      @breezemansker3366 Před 2 lety +535

      The worst part is the bars are kinda creative if she had more talent, flow and any knowledge of rap at all 💀

    • @Bionicbutter43
      @Bionicbutter43 Před 2 lety +200

      "She's allergic to the beat. She smells like feet. The crocodile of wall street? Bitch you're lucky if your the lizard of monopoly. Because your money's fake cuz you can't rap on the beat"
      It's not the best

    • @yorukaadams940
      @yorukaadams940 Před 2 lety +164

      @@Bionicbutter43 you should’ve been paid to ghostwrite

    • @stardoogalaxie9314
      @stardoogalaxie9314 Před 2 lety +154

      @@Bionicbutter43 how about "She allergic to the beat. she smell like feet. Croc of wall street? Delete her fucking deets. Her man in my sheets, feelin on my n f teets. Crypto bitch on the street, Karen Phonin' with elites."

    • @Bionicbutter43
      @Bionicbutter43 Před 2 lety +71

      @@stardoogalaxie9314 Yo
      That goes hard

  • @M2R.
    @M2R. Před 2 lety +4636

    “You’re annoying like a vag itch” is unironically so funny

    • @FrenkTheJoy
      @FrenkTheJoy Před 2 lety +594

      Yeah this song is awful, but "I'm a bad bitch, you're annoying like a vag itch" is a really good line.

    • @dangerousatanyspeed1223
      @dangerousatanyspeed1223 Před 2 lety +265

      I laughed so hard at the absurdity of that line I couldn’t breathe

    • @Crimson_Knight004
      @Crimson_Knight004 Před 2 lety +223

      Taken on its own that could be a good and genuinely funny line in a well-written, tongue-in-cheek music video.

    • @lizzyaine3293
      @lizzyaine3293 Před 2 lety +238

      That with the “make me a sam-itch” line took me the fuck out

    • @gabbyc05
      @gabbyc05 Před 2 lety +6

      i need tbe time stamp 😩😩😩

  • @loonyrhombus1948
    @loonyrhombus1948 Před rokem +211

    quite literally a despicable me villain

    • @PTEC
      @PTEC Před rokem +3

      Omgg

    • @Flareguy
      @Flareguy Před 4 měsíci +4

      No despicable me villains are not awful

  • @zacheymczachface
    @zacheymczachface Před 2 lety +210

    I feel like I'm a teenager and my math teacher is rapping about fractions

  • @ethanlivemere1162
    @ethanlivemere1162 Před 2 lety +6042

    She really put the lines "silver on my fingers" and "I shit silver" in the same song and didn't think twice about it

    • @Throatzillaaa
      @Throatzillaaa Před 2 lety +476

      why's her obsession with silver? like why not gold in one of those instances... wouldn't
      gold on my fingers / boots on my feet ... sound atleast slightly better, just like syllable-wise?

    • @sucrose8299
      @sucrose8299 Před 2 lety +304

      Or worse, she did think about it

    • @Eli-mn5cq
      @Eli-mn5cq Před 2 lety +193

      I could be wrong, but is silver one of those words that rhymes with nearly nothing? like orange or purple. why would you put that in your song haha

    • @JazzyFizzleDrummers
      @JazzyFizzleDrummers Před 2 lety +110

      I like to imagine she's drinking colloidal silver, and one day she'll turn blue like a smurf.

    • @jurgnobs1308
      @jurgnobs1308 Před 2 lety +11

      ​@@Eli-mn5cq nah silver rhymes with a lot

  • @OpeningTheBox
    @OpeningTheBox Před 2 lety +2395

    I love how often she says 'boots on my feet' as if owning shoes is a flex

    • @jmarshal
      @jmarshal Před 2 lety +55

      And owning that premium silver. Cuz all the rappers like silver…right? Big chunky silver necklace ? This bitch got it all.

    • @uknowwho7152
      @uknowwho7152 Před 2 lety +100

      Got me my silver and boots!!! I'm a bad bitch

    • @mcwjes
      @mcwjes Před 2 lety +115

      Hmmm. What will let the smelly poors know I am financially well off? Aha! Boots!

    • @antiarmadillosociety
      @antiarmadillosociety Před 2 lety +38

      @@jmarshal As far as precious metals go, silver is dirt cheap.

    • @yogurt8150
      @yogurt8150 Před 2 lety +68

      and the way she says it makes it sounds like a kindergarden song oof
      "silver on my fingers" - wiggle fingers
      "boots on my feet!" - stomp on the ground
      "yay!" - all the kids cheer bc they did a good job

  • @JazzyFizzleDrummers
    @JazzyFizzleDrummers Před 2 lety +389

    As someone with a masters degree in music I want to do a complete analysis of this. Not because it has value, but because it seems to be specifically engineered to have as little value as possible.

    • @romossaeelee2162
      @romossaeelee2162 Před rokem +49

      "How Bad Music Can Make As Much Money As Possible: A Case Study In RazzledKhan's Discography"

    • @littleblueclovers
      @littleblueclovers Před 9 měsíci +23

      If you go and do a thorough break down of each and every flaw in the song I promise you I will watch the full video. I will assume it will be about 3 hours.

  • @theoshew5813
    @theoshew5813 Před 6 měsíci +42

    the lack of energy is really what does it for me, go girl give us nothing

    • @JinStreams
      @JinStreams Před 6 měsíci +2

      Givingbit her all in a lazy ironic way that makes it perfectly hollow

  • @CazadorSixFour
    @CazadorSixFour Před 2 lety +5165

    If she's so rich, she shoulda paid a ghost writer.

    • @breezemansker3366
      @breezemansker3366 Před 2 lety +190

      Guess she isn't a smart slacker like she thought

    • @Ramberta
      @Ramberta Před 2 lety +14

      LOL this is great

    • @crablessinbaltimore
      @crablessinbaltimore Před 2 lety +226

      and a ghost rapper lmao

    • @screamingbanshee1282
      @screamingbanshee1282 Před 2 lety +56

      Some of these people who claim to rich aren't actually, it's just the value of the bitcoins they own, and instead of cashing out, don't get me wrong I'm against crypto and nft, but these coin only have monetary value

    • @Phished123
      @Phished123 Před 2 lety +23

      It wouldnt even be that hard, to spruce up most of the ideas either, like instead of coming out of left field and saying "crocodile of wall street" she could've said "the alpha of wall street" and its at least a semi play on words.

  • @Ethan-qs7fo
    @Ethan-qs7fo Před 2 lety +6832

    Everything she sings sounds like she's forgotten the words and is trying desperately to remember

  • @simon_says_lots_of_things
    @simon_says_lots_of_things Před 8 měsíci +61

    She seems like she made "being quirky" her entire personality in middle school and held onto it with a death grip because it got her attention.

  • @swordswaltzing
    @swordswaltzing Před 2 lety +341

    you know what there's almost a sylvia plath-esque disjointedness to her lyricism that is admirable. perhaps it cleverly hints at an inner turmoil except no of course it doesn't what the fuck is this

    • @sidoniegabrielle269
      @sidoniegabrielle269 Před rokem +28

      i honestly think she was born to be a terrible slam poet and just chose the wrong path

  • @thinkingthinksandthonks
    @thinkingthinksandthonks Před 2 lety +6137

    'Fuck your message at the beep' is actually kind of a power move of a phrase, and I can't believe she took that opportunity away from someone with a better flow.

    • @arceus.2256
      @arceus.2256 Před 2 lety +154

      IKRR I FULLY AGREEEEE

    • @Throatzillaaa
      @Throatzillaaa Před 2 lety +117

      agree its good I just hate she would prefer to be emailed Lol ... like why not text?

    • @cloudbrooks
      @cloudbrooks Před 2 lety +8

      seriously!! thats what I was thinking!!

    • @alex.g7317
      @alex.g7317 Před 2 lety +6

      I read that just as she said it

    • @shroomshroom5945
      @shroomshroom5945 Před 2 lety +34

      I still think that line is cringe. It's too forcibly "badsss".

  • @sadsitcom
    @sadsitcom Před 2 lety +5104

    watching her rap feels like i stumbled upon security footage of her alone in her apartment rapping terribly that no soul was ever supposed to hear. yet, it is unfortunately available for anyone to see.

    • @sunshinefine1886
      @sunshinefine1886 Před 2 lety +72

      This is exactly the vibe ✨

    • @GetOfflineGetGood
      @GetOfflineGetGood Před 2 lety +90

      When you're rich enough you start to think people want to hear those moments

    • @UJEvans
      @UJEvans Před 2 lety +34

      It's so awkward that it could pass for a cutaway gag on New Girl.

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots Před 2 lety +25

      But, like, we should at least be PAID for the fact that it’s publicly available. What if a CHILD stumble upon it?? And decides to become a BlueFace Crypto Rapper??? And WHAT of the medical bills for our ears?

    • @wren_.
      @wren_. Před rokem +7

      it kind of feels like if you fed a text generator 1000 hours of rap songs

  • @elsakempe631
    @elsakempe631 Před 2 lety +169

    I love how NOT on beat she is. It almost sounds like it's on purpose. Also love how even when Jarvis was repeating after her to make fun of the lyrics he had more sense of rhythm

  • @AsherWick-vd4km
    @AsherWick-vd4km Před rokem +38

    she is absolutely petrified of the beat

  • @Vanamonde
    @Vanamonde Před 2 lety +5973

    She stole $5 billion and it's not even her biggest crime against humanity.
    Also, I love how "boots on my feet" is a flex? Like not "designer boots", just "boots".

    • @Attilablabla
      @Attilablabla Před 2 lety +175

      Maybe she's down to earth at the same time? 😁

    • @Diana-mu7pc
      @Diana-mu7pc Před 2 lety +348

      Elementary schoolers when there's snow on the playground

    • @hippopajamas
      @hippopajamas Před 2 lety +190

      I'm pretty sure the "boots on my feet" part is meant to mean she does the work/is self made. Like pick yourself up by your bootstraps. The song is also called "Versace Bedouin" and the Bedouins are nomadic so maybe she just likes to walk a LOT. I tell myself that because otherwise I have absolutely no idea why the song is called that and, yes, I'm grasping at straws.

    • @Throatzillaaa
      @Throatzillaaa Před 2 lety +94

      not to flex but I own like 3 pairs of boots.

    • @MariaTex3
      @MariaTex3 Před 2 lety +76

      She's the only person to have owned boots. I'm so poor, I've never even SEEN boots.

  • @powersofdestruction5694
    @powersofdestruction5694 Před 2 lety +3479

    I wasn’t aware one could have such terrible flow
    Like her lines could fit the beat but she seemingly intentionally misses it every time

    • @suburbanweekend
      @suburbanweekend Před 2 lety +200

      Yeah, it makes me feel like she is doing it on purpose. But it is so bad and confusing it has to be sincere right? Like if she is intentionally bad as a joke it still doesn’t work because none of the jokes make sense.

    • @ether3896
      @ether3896 Před 2 lety +89

      She's scared to be on beat tbh, in all honesty I hafta imagine she did this without any music playing and put it on after

    • @liathompson2332
      @liathompson2332 Před 2 lety +6

      Silk da Shocka in white girl form

    • @missdiction4455
      @missdiction4455 Před 2 lety +19

      Artists who can’t draw anything proportionally : “it’s just my STYLE”

    • @jordanr.2120
      @jordanr.2120 Před 2 lety +32

      She's playing dodgeball with the beat and she's the one dodging and she's winning

  • @RanRanRenchan
    @RanRanRenchan Před 2 lety +72

    Razzlecon's lines about being a grandmother give off the same energy as the:
    "I am old. I'm sixteen, I'm a grandmother!!" vine.

  • @sholem_bond
    @sholem_bond Před 2 lety +193

    I haven't heard a lot of people remark on this: she's so *devoid of confidence* in the entire performance of this song/video (the first music video). She dances and raps really half-heartedly, like she realized how unconvincing and cringy this was as she was filming it, but didn't want to bother trying to make it any better. She could at least be EARNESTLY bad at rapping. She looks like one of the [few] high school drama kids who's afraid of seeming too enthusiastic about the role, so they don't commit to it (and just keep getting cast because they're conventionally attractive or rich or whatever).
    7:35 edit: ok, this song too.

    • @alexisb3829
      @alexisb3829 Před rokem

      This is a good explanation

    • @olivejuice1424
      @olivejuice1424 Před 11 měsíci

      Spot on

    • @RichardServello
      @RichardServello Před 10 měsíci +4

      I think she's just white.

    • @KymLikesGames
      @KymLikesGames Před měsícem +1

      I agree ... I didn't feel like she took this song seriously, almost like it was a parody. But turns out she did all this unironically, and so it does just seem like she has no confident.

  • @jamielopez3112
    @jamielopez3112 Před 2 lety +4713

    "I don't fuck with no bros. Unless they're gay. Gays don't count. They're exempt."
    I would like to say that, as a gay, I do not want to be exempt. Please leave us out of whatever mess this is.

    • @Andy-jh2fs
      @Andy-jh2fs Před 2 lety +376

      Right?! This might be the first and hopefully last time I'll ever say "I'll just side with the straight dudes on this one" 🤣

    • @whyisthomyorke
      @whyisthomyorke Před 2 lety +350

      As a lesbian we don’t want her either

    • @buzzinbea
      @buzzinbea Před 2 lety +141

      It's a threat 😂

    • @Saige_L
      @Saige_L Před 2 lety +126

      @@whyisthomyorke as a lesbian I second that

    • @nonprofitgirl
      @nonprofitgirl Před 2 lety +1

      You’re definitely NOT EXEMPT.....she’s just too dumb to recognize what’s good in life. And it’s not being “an entrepreneur” in the context she’s spouting. Kinda pathetic. You’re never exempt - don’t believe the terrible rap. ;)

  • @bharbarawyrstwaemasyn8741
    @bharbarawyrstwaemasyn8741 Před 2 lety +4646

    This has to be a canned snl skit. Her movements are so terrifying its mesmerizing. She's doing the mink dance and we're all her prey.

    • @kristinepinlac2796
      @kristinepinlac2796 Před 2 lety +168

      WE'RE ALL HER PREY OMFG STOPPP 💀💀💀

    • @akirapowell3539
      @akirapowell3539 Před 2 lety +151

      its a weasel war dance from grandma crocodile

    • @softestshade7813
      @softestshade7813 Před 2 lety +28

      @@akirapowell3539 MY SIDES HURT FROM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THAT OH MY GOD

    • @bigdawgchai
      @bigdawgchai Před 2 lety +13

      this has me literally in tears omg 💀💀💀

    • @nolanstone4723
      @nolanstone4723 Před 2 lety +12

      This is what i was looking for. The way she moves hurts my soul.

  • @ratqueenbee
    @ratqueenbee Před 2 lety +31

    her existence feels like a hate crime against every marginalised group to ever exist

  • @annikornbee743
    @annikornbee743 Před 7 měsíci +9

    This rap feels like when five year olds at a sleepover make a dance routine and immediately show it to their parents without a single run through

  • @filmecritic9124
    @filmecritic9124 Před 2 lety +3183

    if you hadn’t mentioned that she’s actually a crypto person at the beginning, i would be so convinced this was semi-successful satire

    • @khazermashkes2316
      @khazermashkes2316 Před 2 lety +18

      Me too!

    • @xxRAINA1xx
      @xxRAINA1xx Před 2 lety +105

      Not just a crypto person a crypto THIEF and that stole the most money ever

    • @LiarJudas666
      @LiarJudas666 Před 2 lety +88

      @@xxRAINA1xx she's only accused of laundering, I think she and her husband might just be fall guys for the real hackers.

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Před 2 lety +99

      @@LiarJudas666 So, talked a big game but was actually essentially clueless?
      This feels on brand

    • @hellothere702
      @hellothere702 Před 2 lety +51

      @@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 that's mostly what crypto people are

  • @wordwriter
    @wordwriter Před 2 lety +4973

    How can I get just like 1/10th of the blind self-confidence that this woman has? 😂

    • @yejiluvrr
      @yejiluvrr Před 2 lety +76

      If anyone knows I would like to know too

    • @DeeDee-zu2pv
      @DeeDee-zu2pv Před 2 lety +191

      It's easy, just launder 1/10 of crypto that she did. You don't have access to 300 million worth of Bitcoin? Pfft. Poor

    • @jamesfletcher3202
      @jamesfletcher3202 Před 2 lety +124

      just pray you only get 1/10th of her blind self confidence any higher concentrations have shown to be lethal.

    • @-piras
      @-piras Před 2 lety +25

      yeah, more then half would turn me into a horrible person

    • @thegreenmanofnorwich
      @thegreenmanofnorwich Před 2 lety +27

      I'm guessing that's what theft and copious cocaine will do to a person

  • @chaeyoungsbish
    @chaeyoungsbish Před 2 lety +6

    The whole silver on my fingers and boots on my feet reminds me of the dr. Doofenshmirtz records on my fingers rap💀

  • @carmenb.2784
    @carmenb.2784 Před rokem +12

    the fact that she gets ahead of the beat and then has to wait for it is too funny

  • @marissawimer8951
    @marissawimer8951 Před 2 lety +3126

    Trauma bonds people, thanks for going through this with me, guys

    • @abbymorrison3097
      @abbymorrison3097 Před rokem +114

      Tysm for enduring this with me

    • @falakrafi
      @falakrafi Před rokem +91

      In the words of Plankton, I'll see you all in therapy 😭

    • @jjan3
      @jjan3 Před rokem +20

      No problem. Stay strong brother ✊

    • @toaster927
      @toaster927 Před rokem +23

      course, us premium viewers gotta help each other out

    • @dandeliontea59
      @dandeliontea59 Před rokem +5

      🤝

  • @billymoak3848
    @billymoak3848 Před 2 lety +7625

    Her ability to stay off beat and still rap in complete monotone is incredible.
    (Edit: I’m happy to have started an argument over the meaning of monotone in the replies, but to clarify; it is strange that she raps with little inflection and still stays off beat. But I will concede that she uses some form of intonation when “singing.”)

    • @whyisthisdifferentnow
      @whyisthisdifferentnow Před 2 lety +79

      This comment actually made me audibly laugh. Thank you. 😂

    • @glswain
      @glswain Před 2 lety +224

      Personally I’m more a fan of the choreography, aka literal arm-flailing

    • @gnickthegnome1981
      @gnickthegnome1981 Před 2 lety +4

      This is not monotone

    • @jungtothehuimang
      @jungtothehuimang Před 2 lety +59

      @@glswain she looks like she's not comfortable moving too quickly

    • @samml3566
      @samml3566 Před 2 lety +9

      It’s a skill

  • @WickedRatzz
    @WickedRatzz Před 2 lety +8

    they all dance in the music video like white aunts at weddings lmaoooo

  • @kittykittybangbang000
    @kittykittybangbang000 Před rokem +7

    she sounds like goofy or scooby doo like "baD biTch bad BItCh"

  • @lauraashlyn
    @lauraashlyn Před 2 lety +588

    She sounds like a child who just discovered bad words

  • @rainbowdemon5033
    @rainbowdemon5033 Před 2 lety +1004

    The Husband already looks like he doesn't matter much in any conversation. He looks like a stock-photo. Idk what it is, but he looks like an AI tried to create the most average looking guy

    • @amelia3146
      @amelia3146 Před 2 lety +133

      He’s giving NPC

    • @Jamerian2010
      @Jamerian2010 Před 2 lety +6

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @krayozmines
      @krayozmines Před 2 lety +9

      @@amelia3146 💀💀💀💀

    • @bigdawgchai
      @bigdawgchai Před 2 lety +6

      broo 💀💀💀💀

    • @MariaTex3
      @MariaTex3 Před 2 lety +16

      I read this comment while in the library and I'm trying so hard to contain my laughter

  • @altalert3939
    @altalert3939 Před rokem +8

    The rap honestly gives the same vibes as the raps they’d show you in middle school history class about the founding fathers 💀💀💀

  • @HopeIsADrug11037
    @HopeIsADrug11037 Před 2 lety +14

    no amount of that money she stole will make up for what she put my ears through

  • @kisikisikisi
    @kisikisikisi Před 2 lety +5403

    It's not even that she's a bad rapper. It's that she sounds like someone who has never heard a rap song, trying to make a rap song based on the description by a person who has heard one (1) rap song.
    Edit: for those confused, my point was that she is so bad that she can't even be described as a rapper. In order to be a bad rapper, you need to be rapping. There are words coming out of her mouth and there is a beat. That's where the similarities end.

    • @SidneyBell
      @SidneyBell Před 2 lety +36

      @@nonnononnononno rap and rape are very different

    • @Babyteef
      @Babyteef Před 2 lety +11

      Weirdly feels like she COULD be an okay rapper

    • @thilypad557
      @thilypad557 Před 2 lety +18

      And the only rap song that other person ever heard was by Blueface baby.

    • @ambi_cc8464
      @ambi_cc8464 Před 2 lety +15

      @JayLeeBeanz I agree that it feels like a PowerPoint but more in the way that there was probably passion there, but it was amateurly expressed and the motivation to do it didn’t out weigh the inconveniences of committing much

    • @brandonholloman157
      @brandonholloman157 Před 2 lety +7

      “it’s not that she’s a bad rapper, it’s that she ((proceeds to describe a bad rapper))”

  • @softcoffeewhispers
    @softcoffeewhispers Před 2 lety +2086

    Jarvis talking through the different verses feels like in English class where you were given a vague poem and told to annotate it with your classmates and you just had to do your best

    • @reneayyy
      @reneayyy Před 2 lety +22

      best comment

    • @kingosnake7158
      @kingosnake7158 Před 2 lety +54

      when i was in high school my freshman english teacher made us analyze an eminem song, cringiest teacher i've had to this day

    • @softcoffeewhispers
      @softcoffeewhispers Před 2 lety +76

      @@kingosnake7158 “um, ma’am, I think he’s just angry. like really angry. I think that’s the whole song.”

    • @kingosnake7158
      @kingosnake7158 Před 2 lety +55

      @@softcoffeewhispers she literally asked us "what do you think he means by that" about the entire chorus of lose yourself, LINE. BY. LINE.

    • @bucketonfoot
      @bucketonfoot Před 2 lety +65

      @@kingosnake7158 “as you can probably already tell it takes so much time and effort to come up with something as great as “that’s an awfully hot coffee pot” in this line he describes a pot of coffee this could be taken as a metaphor for society, the heat could represent society and he is talking about how much he doesn’t want to interact with it, this is a think piece about a straight white man rejecting society and social norms, true bravery, tear jerking even”

  • @stoatthemammal
    @stoatthemammal Před 2 lety +34

    It took me months to finish this video because each time she rapped it just made me feel like I warped in time.

  • @CT-1118
    @CT-1118 Před 2 lety +3

    I swear I've heard a parody song with the SAME beat and monotone voice before and it's killing me that I can't remember

  • @saramorrison7864
    @saramorrison7864 Před 2 lety +1449

    That feel when you’re so bad at something you decide to just say you’re “a surrealist artist”

    • @andrewollmann304
      @andrewollmann304 Před 2 lety +52

      Ah, yes....the “Tommy Wiseau” effect.

    • @oddduck2003
      @oddduck2003 Před 2 lety +20

      Dadadist, dummy

    • @mimz1173
      @mimz1173 Před rokem +21

      It sure is a surreal experience

    • @oscarcacnio8418
      @oscarcacnio8418 Před rokem +6

      @@oddduck2003 I've seen cans of literal artist dung with more quality than this.

    • @oddduck2003
      @oddduck2003 Před rokem

      @@oscarcacnio8418 yeah but it makes bank and in this world bitch that is all that matters. No church thank god in the wild

  • @ap0ll0slyre
    @ap0ll0slyre Před 2 lety +1267

    every verse was like a new surprise except the surprise is angry bees and you're in pain every time

    • @gremlinwc8996
      @gremlinwc8996 Před 2 lety +10

      💀

    • @AW-sx8hm
      @AW-sx8hm Před 2 lety +29

      The surprise is angry bees?! An influx of BEES oughta put a stop to that!

    • @Zarmdthecoolest
      @Zarmdthecoolest Před 2 lety +14

      This feels like a tumblr post

    • @lizlee8715
      @lizlee8715 Před rokem +7

      Like each verse is the equivalent of tripping and falling. You try to get up and continue walking but you end up tripping again.

  • @Dressup_Doll
    @Dressup_Doll Před 9 měsíci +2

    She sounds like she lost a bet and had to write, choreograph, and rap this while deeply hating it.

  • @JustToast963
    @JustToast963 Před 2 lety +5

    I mis-read “Versace Bedouin” as “Versace Boudin” at first, and was very confused as to why she’d be calling herself a designer sausage.

  • @kaydenpat
    @kaydenpat Před 2 lety +1482

    The prosecution needs to show this “rap” video to the jury. Guilty as hell.

  • @asapaints
    @asapaints Před 2 lety +312

    good to know that she thinks gay men aren’t….men?? thanks girl I had no idea I wasn’t a guy

    • @rat-gang-
      @rat-gang- Před rokem +1

      she's bringing back old fashioned homophobia with bad rap

  • @nicor3612
    @nicor3612 Před rokem +6

    "Crocodiles can't wear boots" well maybe not boots, but have you considered CROC IN CROCS?

  • @dinahmyte3749
    @dinahmyte3749 Před 2 lety +54

    You ever have to sit through a white person reading of MLK's I have a Dream speech while sitting in an auditorium in Iowa? That's this flow.
    I am a monotone person, this... this is the "and that's hip hop" dance choreography lady trying to tell me this is hip hop. I'm a mixed woman from the midwest. This... this hurts. Macklemore is more sincere in his rap than this.

    • @zubetp
      @zubetp Před rokem +3

      say what you will about macklemore, you can tell he's having fun when he does his weird little music. i didn't get the feeling this woman was enjoying herself, was feeling fulfilled, was entirely clear on why she was doing this, knew what the words she wrote meant, was confident there was an audience for this, etc. she's lost in it.

  • @boop9173
    @boop9173 Před 2 lety +458

    “you annoying like vag itch” is hands down the funniest rap lyric i’ve ever heard

  • @courtney3743
    @courtney3743 Před 2 lety +126

    Drake’s been real quiet ever since Razzlekhan said “Ima bad bitch, make me a sammich”

    • @Babyteef
      @Babyteef Před 2 lety +4

      He’s gone and made her that bad bitch sammich

  • @eelvis1674
    @eelvis1674 Před 2 lety +5

    Never been more confident that someone was lying about having synesthesia for clout

  • @harborbenassa8756
    @harborbenassa8756 Před rokem +21

    She has pilot blood because she's fly, Jarvis 😭

  • @BojoPigeon
    @BojoPigeon Před 2 lety +376

    I think "beat dodger" is a phrase I'll start using for certain performers.

  • @TheNormExperience
    @TheNormExperience Před 2 lety +1155

    “The rap video of the woman who was just arrested as part of an alleged husband-wife scheme that laundered $3.6 billion in crypto.”
    Every word in that sentence takes it up another notch when it already started at an 11.

    • @AmyAberrant
      @AmyAberrant Před 2 lety +53

      When he said “this is the last place I expected isis to turn up” I was on the FLOOR 😭

  • @umbriel6525
    @umbriel6525 Před 11 měsíci +4

    She missed the opportunity to say "I got pilot blood I'm a real aviator" 🤦

  • @hyjinx3635
    @hyjinx3635 Před 2 lety +8

    "Silver on my hands and boots on my feet"
    Yes Heather, boots typically go on your feet. And if you're a gator- (Crocodile, perhaps,) then they go on your forelimbs and hindlimbs.

  • @Emu19
    @Emu19 Před 2 lety +945

    I really hope the "GOOOOOOHHHHHLD!" audio never goes away. Ik things get repetitive and boring for the creators themselves but that audio makes me smile everytime and I say it out loud with the video lmao.

    • @dandarcy2539
      @dandarcy2539 Před 2 lety +40

      fun fact! the clip is from austin powers in goldmember :-)

  • @victoriaadderhold
    @victoriaadderhold Před 2 lety +119

    These sound like a Danny Gonzalez parody song if Danny couldn't sing

    • @Babyteef
      @Babyteef Před 2 lety +11

      I was gonna say this was offensive but then i remember the entire bad boy rap he did

  • @FortuitousOwl
    @FortuitousOwl Před rokem +11

    I loved when this story came out and so many people were like “this is crazy who would have thought these lame people would get this much crypto” like…this is exactly what every crypto bro is like lol

  • @raruther59
    @raruther59 Před 2 lety +6

    Her calling herself the Versace Bedouin even though she’s Turkish American is like an Irish American calling themselves a Gucci Sicilian. It’s so off that it illustrates her total lack of knowledge of Middle Eastern ethnography.

  • @zoeb-p5993
    @zoeb-p5993 Před 2 lety +363

    When she talked about being a croc/gator and wearing boots I just immediately thought of crocodiles and alligators being at war and like... wearing each other's skin as boots.

    • @thatsdisco
      @thatsdisco Před 2 lety +29

      crocodile dandy with alligator shoes

    • @Colorfultography
      @Colorfultography Před 2 lety +15

      I love that visual

    • @JMBAD_art
      @JMBAD_art Před 2 lety +17

      That’s kind of sick as hell

    • @snakewithapen5489
      @snakewithapen5489 Před 2 lety +18

      Oh that turf war already exists! We call it Florida, the gators are winning currently

  • @lamp5514
    @lamp5514 Před 2 lety +16

    I refuse to believe she was being serious. This seems like a skit.. I want it to be a skit.

  • @hackerz2369
    @hackerz2369 Před 2 lety +6

    That was not music
    That was the embodiment of a 30 y/o mum trying to be cool.
    I swear even deaf people could stay on the beat. I honestly think she's scared of basic rhythm.

  • @caitlin8855
    @caitlin8855 Před 2 lety +1347

    This was horrible, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you Jarvis!

  • @wideride8320
    @wideride8320 Před 2 lety +2265

    Nothing makes me feel more premium than that Jarvis Johnson! GOLD notification popping up while I'm on my lunch break. ☺

  • @pik4mongus_sus__new_funky_125

    This video got age-restricted clearly because of all the 3rd-degree fire burns this Crypto Rapper just spat.

  • @leftylion5291
    @leftylion5291 Před rokem +6

    As someone who lives in NYC... my gawd, it hurts to see her walking our streets.
    Like, go to Florida. Please. We do not want you at the Wall Street 2/3 station.

  • @newtpollution
    @newtpollution Před 2 lety +543

    The confidence this woman had in calling herself the "Versace Bedouin" had me googling whether I actually knew the definition of bedouin.

    • @LiarJudas666
      @LiarJudas666 Před 2 lety +98

      Pretty sure that it's just another reference to how she's very proud to be Turkish. No, this does not make it make any more sense

    • @kharchangarchive
      @kharchangarchive Před 2 lety +95

      Right like...Turkish people aren't Bedouin, they're Turkish 🤔 You can be both but in her case she's just Turkish-American

  • @brynnawill7475
    @brynnawill7475 Před 2 lety +602

    jarvis sensed this song years in advance and left the tech industry to protect himself from its nuclear impact. respect

    • @lamibonxd
      @lamibonxd Před 2 lety +19

      he’s built different

  • @heyaephyn
    @heyaephyn Před rokem +8

    heaven only knows how much etherium she paid her producer

  • @skalty9868
    @skalty9868 Před 2 lety +3

    “I’m so anti consumerist I held on to $3.5 billion worth of stolen crypto”

  • @alexreid1173
    @alexreid1173 Před 2 lety +288

    Her ability to stay completely off beat is amazing. I would have thought she would accidentally be on beat at some point

  • @keira4840
    @keira4840 Před 2 lety +589

    Her music video feels like something someone like Brian David Gilbert would release on their channel with no warning, and if it still sounded like this instead of being a genuine bop, then you'd go, "oh, it sounds like that because he knows how to make music, therefore he also knows how to make music bad on purpose to be funny." But if this is sincere...I think I'm still actually impressed. I don't know how she's managed this. Kinda obsessed.
    Edit: left out a word.

    • @ahobbit1273
      @ahobbit1273 Před rokem +62

      I feel like Brian is too talented to make something this bad, even if he tried.

    • @rat-gang-
      @rat-gang- Před rokem +30

      fr i don't know how someone can consistently stay SO off beat

    • @RabblesTheBinx
      @RabblesTheBinx Před rokem +30

      Ok, as someone who _does_ know how to make music, it's _really_ hard to make something intentionally bad. There's no accounting for taste and, many times, an artist will make something they think is absolute trash and then it becomes a _smash_ hit. Hell, the most popular (I mean, we're talking relatively, here, obviously nothing I've produced could be considered popular, in general) song I ever did was a shitty pop song I threw together as a bet that I could write a pop song in under 5 minutes. It wasn't _supposed_ to be good, but the majority of people who hear it like it _more_ than my other stuff. "Song 2" by Blur, "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot, "Loser" by Beck, "Fight for Your Right" by the Beastie Boys, all joke songs that were meant to be bad, but people unironically loved them.

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow Před rokem +8

      @@RabblesTheBinxI gotta agree I kinda love Versace Bedouin. Like objectively it's horrible. So bad. Awful. But like there's just enough pieces of good shit in it and I can't stop thinking about the way they mingle with the Not Good Bits

    • @shaquilleeurope2600
      @shaquilleeurope2600 Před 8 měsíci +1

      ​@@mellow_mallowIt could have been so fire with a better rapper and a few lyric changes. The beat carries hard

  • @pbfloyd13
    @pbfloyd13 Před 2 lety +2

    This is the worst thing that's happened to hip Hop since Biggie got shot.

  • @Rylee_G
    @Rylee_G Před 2 lety +21

    Everything I've ever done was better than this music video
    So I'm feeling pretty good about myself

  • @leomorris7573
    @leomorris7573 Před 2 lety +504

    this whole thing is super bizarre, heathers a family friend of one of my best friends. according to my friends dad (who was her fourth grade teacher) she's "incredibly smart and accomplished but still feels the need to exaggerate her accomplishments to make herself sound more impressive than she already is" (i.e. being able to speak 3 languages but telling herself she speaks 6) and this whole situation is "disappointing but not super surprising"

    • @Catglittercrafts
      @Catglittercrafts Před 2 lety +9

      Woah

    • @kiralonely1307
      @kiralonely1307 Před 2 lety +70

      Aye, I used to be that kid too. 'cept I grew out of it over time. Sounds like she could do with some therapy and self esteem help way more than the NFT stuff tbh. I don't mean that in a mean way, everyone needs therapy imo, but like, I go to therapy and have for like 5-6 years now, and god that shit helped my self esteem a lot, which is usually were that kind of need to over-exaggerate and make yourself seem cooler seems to stem from ime, but idk.

    • @jaynenunya6070
      @jaynenunya6070 Před 2 lety +8

      sounds like clinical Narcissism man

    • @Dolthra
      @Dolthra Před 2 lety +49

      As soon as she said synesthesia, and especially with that "it's a social commentary" comment at the end, this was the vibe I got. Like a person who is actually completely interesting on their own who just continues to make up shit about themselves for no reason and ends up being endlessly annoying to talk to because of it.

    • @VertigoCrime
      @VertigoCrime Před 2 lety +1

      Panini Syndrome

  • @rileyriley8123
    @rileyriley8123 Před 2 lety +327

    The "Not Like Other Girls" syndrome is strong with this one. She might have even redefined the parameters for it.

  • @archiermanilo23
    @archiermanilo23 Před rokem +2

    I want to say this is one of those "just because you can doesn't mean you should" Situations...but she can't...so...I don't know where that leaves us.

  • @ameturebaker
    @ameturebaker Před 2 lety +9

    Funny enough, in 6th grade, my class made a rap video about sleep and it is unironically better than this

  • @MT-qk7dz
    @MT-qk7dz Před 2 lety +195

    I'm absolutely shitting myself this is so dystopian

  • @AveryDelMiller
    @AveryDelMiller Před 2 lety +435

    this is a person who got an insane amount of undeserved money and thought she was unstoppable. now the law has caught up with her, and I'm here for it

  • @chosoistryinghisbest
    @chosoistryinghisbest Před rokem +5

    i love the artistic choice of just not mixing the music and the vocals together 😁

  • @Yessica13
    @Yessica13 Před 2 lety

    i'm sorry you had to go through that jarvis. i understand you wanting to share your experience with others

  • @Andy-ct8be
    @Andy-ct8be Před 2 lety +197

    She has the unearned confidence of an old boomer dude. We're laughing but she's gonna be president

    • @Babyteef
      @Babyteef Před 2 lety +22

      This girl is gonna scratch out Trump’s eyeball if he tries to get re-elected

    • @wr9797
      @wr9797 Před 2 lety +11

      Lol why you gotta jinx us like that

  • @PrettyGuardian
    @PrettyGuardian Před 2 lety +430

    Your line about her being a grandma of the game absolutely killed me. I'll be sending her the bill for my funeral. She can pay in crypto.

    • @tp6440
      @tp6440 Před 2 lety +9

      Unfortunately I don’t think crypto can be exchanged for any physical goods or services. Just NFTs and sadness.

    • @guacbird
      @guacbird Před 2 lety

      @@tp6440 i think in some places some shops and vending machines use crypto

    • @VinceyBishoppurpleisbae
      @VinceyBishoppurpleisbae Před rokem

      @@guacbird I know a place near me does

  • @starboundsingularity
    @starboundsingularity Před rokem +3

    i used to think rapping was just "talking over music" and while i realize thats wrong i think thats what she thinks it is

  • @rachelcookie321
    @rachelcookie321 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I so hope that they include her rap ‘career’ in the Netflix documentary about the bitcoin laundering. I feel this is vital backstory to her character.

  • @charlieweathersbymusic
    @charlieweathersbymusic Před 2 lety +196

    "And y'all wonder why I left the tech industry" honestly, that quote summed up this entire horrible experience we've all just gone through together 😂

  • @Phia525
    @Phia525 Před 2 lety +207

    “You annoying like vag itch” she has a point. She’s an icon a legend and she is the moment. I mean cmon now.

  • @bandersnatchbeauty9692
    @bandersnatchbeauty9692 Před 9 měsíci +2

    No one should have given her internet access.

  • @restlesssheep2453
    @restlesssheep2453 Před 2 lety +3

    Man, I want some actually good rapper to use the backing track there on the first rap. It has so much potential. Remove her atrocious attempts at rap, the backtrack sounds absolutely fire.

  • @emilysmith5130
    @emilysmith5130 Před 2 lety +485

    if these songs aren’t satire then i have never been so confused in my life.

  • @chelseybrown2334
    @chelseybrown2334 Před 2 lety +482

    Lowkey. “Ima bad bitch, make me a sammich” Could’ve been BARS if anyone else said it and actually stayed on beat and key 😂

    • @nukiradio
      @nukiradio Před 2 lety +54

      She has to be ironic. This is a special amount of bad

    • @HeyitsBri_
      @HeyitsBri_ Před 2 lety +11

      I disagree 😂

    • @chelseybrown2334
      @chelseybrown2334 Před 2 lety +3

      That’s what I keep thinking but I really can’t tell!

  • @bubbs2822
    @bubbs2822 Před rokem +3

    How did she momentarily convince me that "street" does not rhyme with "feet"?

  • @THE1FIREHAWK
    @THE1FIREHAWK Před 2 lety +3

    She should have put some of that 3.6 billion into some singing lessons

  • @joutatheegg
    @joutatheegg Před 2 lety +444

    I’m trying not to cry of laughter this entire video
    It feels like the lyrics were generated by AI, it’s amazing

    • @gamemultiplier1750
      @gamemultiplier1750 Před 2 lety +14

      Nah, I bet some AI models could compose better rap lyrics.

    • @Zarmdthecoolest
      @Zarmdthecoolest Před 2 lety +4

      Don't insult AI like that

    • @MayorVideo
      @MayorVideo Před 2 lety +1

      carykh made an ai to generate rap lyrics, and it does much better

    • @tadicahya6439
      @tadicahya6439 Před 8 měsíci

      That's insult to chatgpt