life changing "soft" habits for a more mindful existence: get to know yourself & others better
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- Äas pĹidĂĄn 2. 06. 2024
- From life-changing daily habits to mindset habits, I present you: soft habits đ Whether youâre on the shyer side of the spectrum, identify as socially awkward (hi đ ), are naturally introverted, want to make more friends, be more charismatic without being manipulative (!!), or just want to be a better human - you're in the right place đ
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⨠If youâre at all curious:
⢠My spiritual practice, Falun Dafa bit.ly/2z49zqz
⢠If you're interested in reading more, start with this to get an understanding of what qigong entails bit.ly/2u8DXOC
⢠The main text we read is Zhuan Falun* bit.ly/2t48xJP
*Best to read start to finish in the shortest time possible for the highest benefit.
⢠If you want to learn more about Falun Dafa and qigong, check out local contacts in your area - there are practitioners globally and in most big enough-ish cities: bit.ly/2E0PL6S
⢠My friend Chris over at China Uncensored made an incredibly informative video on what Falun Dafa is and why it's being persecuted in China (YT video): bit.ly/2CR9yZQ
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One thing I've been doing is implementing more â¨lightness â¨into my social interactions and my thoughts about others. As in... there's nothing to be taken so seriously here. We're just 2 humans who are sharing, interacting, and playing together on this earth. How fun is that!
love this â¤
thanks a lot, this gives me a new perspective
Some of my small but powerful soft habits:
- Always thanking the bus driver
- Not using self-deprecating language
- Leaving positive reviews/sending thank-you notes after receiving great service
- Thanking waiters when they top up my water glass at a meal
- Saying yes to new experiences
a soft habit iâve adopted and has served me greatly is to give people the benefit of the doubt even if i feel intentionally hurt by them; to acknowledge that there are so many factors in their life that i donât see that couldâve come together to create what had transpired between us and to graciously hold no grudges based on one bad interaction (but if it becomes a pattern then I would communicate my feelings to them or distance myself)
A soft habit that Iâve adopted, especially recently, is to observe my thoughts and feelings and not react to them immediately. But to respond to them with kindness and unconditional self acceptance and as you say, curiosity. Not an easy feat after many years of self criticism but slowly my internal dialogue is changing. Thank you for being so thoughtful, articulate, kind and sharing your - and this time, your families insights. I loved what your dad said and being kind-hearted and hearing it in the original Chinese! As well as your Mumâs new soft habit of talking more to strangers - very familiar! Thank you for the wonderful video. X đ
How do you block the negativity towards yourself? When you have done wrong in the past ?
@@kmp8985 For me it's less about blocking negative thoughts (that tends to make them more persistent and overwhelming) but allowing them to surface and pass through my mind - not trying to react to them in anyway, not trying to fix them etc... effectively ignoring them with awareness. If you have done wrong i think you need be compassionate to yourself, and the situation first. Then acting from this space, if there is anything you can do to make it right, do so and if not again be kind to yourself and any others in the situation and use it to learn, grow and hopefully become wiser and better in the future. That's what i do at least. X
@@lucie7372 thank you for your words. They really do help me â¤ď¸
â@@kmp8985You're welcome đ
A soft habit that I have been implementing is to be consistently and randomly kind to strangers. A smile, holding the door, wishing them a good day. It is so great to see their faces lighting up, and lately I've witnessed people returning the kindness â¤
This has helped me as well! I feel like I'm spreading positive energy around, and they give it back with a smile or a few words that make me smile :)
A soft habit I've been working on recently is to practice active listening and not interrupt people (my friends, family) while they are talking. So I'm trying to talk less and listen more! â¤
I love to compliment strangers. If I'm having a bad day and I don't wanna be out or do anything I just tell someone their hat is cute and they smile real big and I'm like "yeah, that's why we exist" đ
Yes! 99% of the time if I think something nice about a stranger, I will tell them. Itâs so nice to get a random, genuine compliment
A soft habit I am working on has to do with self love. I am trying to speak kindly to myself internally, and even aloud sometimes. A friend of mine suggested talking to myself like a dear friend. Instead of âYou have to get this apartment cleanâ, rather âSweatheart, do you think you can spend 20 min. straightening up? You can do it.â And additionally, Iâm trying to thank myself for completing tasks and especially for the self care I complete. Itâs just overall being gentle and kind to myself like I would be with any other person.
A soft habit that I have picked up from my friend- sheâs so good about thanking me for hanging out and for having fun together- so Iâm trying really hard to constantly thank ppl for sharing their time and presence with me â¤
One soft habit that Iâve been working on recently is taking the time to work through my triggers and high emotions during stressful situations before I react. I have the power to step back and look inwardly, take time to reflect and then communicate. It has really helped so far and I want to keep working on it!
A soft habit that I've adopted is to enjoy things that I have and thank them, I have learn to not only keep asking or wishing for things, but to enjoy and thank for what I have now and be grateful for everything.
A soft habit that I've been incorporating into my life is prioritizing connection over being perfectly right. â¤
i love this ! (âĄÂ´ âż `âĄ)
a soft habit i picked up years ago was to view everyone as extremely human regardless of their circumstances. to always try to have a conversation with anyone i meet where i can, because a lot of the time people just want to feel seen & heard, & to not be afraid because if we are all just human i donât really have anything to fear anyway. itâs something u have to practice but it helps me appreciate the mundane every day encounters i have so much more & i hope the person on the other side appreciates it too :)
a soft habit iâve been practicing is holding space for each of my emotions - especially the âbadâ ones i had grown accustomed to shoving out (insecurity, anxiety, envy, anger, sadness, etc) and instead hearing them out without judgment and shifting towards a new, more beneficial perspective on the situation which sparked those emotions
I came across this quote that said "You aren't the only kind person in the world," And that has helped me so much when it comes to asking for help and asking for my needs to be met in my relationships. Now whenever I find myself in a rut and in need of help or support I ask myself " If someone in the same situation were to come to me and ask for help, advice, support...how would I respond to their request. And my response is usually that I would offer that help; if it is in my capacity to do so." If I can exist having such deep compassion, surely I am not the anomaly. Surely there is someone else who is just as kind.
A soft habit that I have been practising the last 5 or so years is doing things that my future self would be grateful for (i.e. washing the dishes, tidying up after myself, etc.). It really helps me when I'm in a slump.
I think a soft habit would be always saying thanks no matter how small someone elseâs actions are towards you. As long as you have benefitted, say thanks. Sometimes we might just make someoneâs day. I also used to watch Struthless! It is always nice to see his perspective as a person who has gone through so much and came out so beautifully, and using his power to spread wise words to everyone. There are some soft habits that youâve mentioned which I would like to try sometime :))
A soft habit of mine that I haven't realized till recently how much it made me more aware and more loving of others and myself is opening the door for strangers. It's a simple habit, yes, but it made me more self-aware, more understanding of myself and others. Besides, it makes others feel appreciated. Thank you, as always, Rowena.
Making my bed in the morning, no matter how lazy I am, is so key to building that integrity and even if at the moment a thought appears about how meaningless it is, I am able to come back from a rough day to a made bed. We try and try again. Remembering that we can make our own meaning in some aspects as well, because really, who is to say that these little moments don't matter when these are the moments that really do make up our life? Wishing you and everyone reading this a wonderful spring :)
I have always HATED when people use my name when I am in a customer service role. It feels like they will try to manipulate me or demand more because they know my name. Like they are holding my name hostage to get whatever they want. People sometimes use an employees name to get special treatment. I am trying to get beyond it but I guess it shows that I donât trust people
came back to this video after a while. a soft habit i actually picked up last year was to complete pending tasks immediately if they can be done in less than 5 mins - this especially helps me to keep my desk clean which is smth i struggle with and my desk reflects my mental state so this was rly important. now i would like to work on the soft habit of being genuinely interested in the people around me. thank you for always inspiring rowena
Something that I've been trying to do with my compassion practice is to recognize the common humanity in people, and the universal desire to be happy. It doesn't excuse harmful actions, but it helps me recognize why people are doing what they are doing and approach situations more calmly and from a place of better understanding
Struthless is a very underrated channel. Cam is a legend and his book changed my life.
Being an introvert with social skills , I can meet new people , do presentations in front of 1000 people, and know how to make good conversations with anyone but after all those socialising stuff , my energy's completely drained..
I always have to take alone time and ghost people for several months again to gain my social battery
I think mine is to compliment others and eye contact. NgL but I identified as socially awkward and shy for most of my 26 years but recently, I met this vibrant woman who just indiscriminately compliments everyone. And everyone loves her, she looks amazing and she feels everything. I wanted that for myself so I embraced the idea and tried it on. Itâs a good look! So whenever I wanted to blame someone else for my misfortunes, I first compliment on them. Gives me some distance from the situation and helps me realise what I can learn from it. Also earned me some compliments back along the way, I consider that good karma đ
âCharacter is who you are when there is no one else watching youâ is also still one of my favourite quotes đ¤Š
My soft habit that Iâve been relearning lately is to actually feel my feelings, over the years and with a lot of battles and struggles with my mental health I started analysing my feelings instead of feeling them to give myself some sort of âcontrolâ, I stopped giving myself time to grieve, cry , or being in any form of low emotional state and itâs negatively affected my recovery and overcoming my problems&insecurities
This year Iâll try to allow myself to feel every step of the progress instead of controlling it with over analysation
you genuinely inspire me to be a better human being and i feel so much warmth watching your videos â¨
i feel this comment ! (âĄÂ´ âż `âĄ)
Idk if this is a soft habit or not but I'm learning to relax and follow my intuition. I feel like I've spent my whole life working so hard and always pushing myself to strive for more that I've burnt out. I feel like this part of my life needs to be cherished, valued, by spending time with friends, family, and pets!
i love this so much ! (âĄÂ´ âż `âĄ)
youâre exactly where you need you be ! keep going â¤
a soft habit that I've been doing since I was younger was saying thank you to people who provide service to me or the people I'm with, even if I don't directly receive it from them.
It's a very subconscious habit and it does make days lighter too!
I also like to wish people around me when we part ways to have a good day or to stay safe and well, because it just rounds up an interaction really well and wholesomely :)
Having been a competitive dancer for nearly eight years now, I realize that I have become pretty competitive by nature and am constantly comparing myself to others. I notice I am understanding when I see someone else make a mistake but if I were to do the same I wouldnât let it go and would use it against myself. One soft habit I would like to adopt is to stop and reflect whenever I feel this type of scrutiny coming on. I want to make sure I remind myself that I deserve a break too and that itâs okay to not be perfect.
A soft habit that I developed is 'seeing something in everything'. I lived a lot of my teenage life dissociated and numb, with no feelings towards anything. It was out of necessity, because my life wasn't a nice one and if I felt all of the pain of that I'm not sure I could have handled it. But when my external circumstances became better, I knew I wanted to feel properly alive. I changed a lot of things about my mindset over the years to achieve that, but one of them was seeing something in everything. What I mean by that is, if you look at a person, or an object, or have a conversation, or hear a song, or do something, a lot of the time your probably not having any particular thoughts about it when your on autopilot. I used to be like that constantly. Instead, I started using my innate imagination. If I see a person, I notice something I like about them: how they carry themselves, an item of clothing, the way they smile, a personality trait. Or maybe I wonder something: what conversation are they having with the person they are with? Where are they going? How are they feeling? What stories do they have behind them, their clothes, their items? If it's a song, maybe it's a certain lyric I like that I derive some personal meaning from. Even something as dull as a wall, I'll wonder what experiences happened there, or what the people who built that wall were thinking and talking about. How did that scratch on it happen? Doing this over the years has made me see the beauty in everything, and thus the beauty in life. Most people who know me consider me the most enthusiastic and happiest person they've met, because when you see something in everything, you see that everything is fascinating and wonderful. Also I'm great thinking outside the box and seeing connections and patterns where other people don't, both in more of an academic or focused setting, and a fun or social one. I can make a life lesson or optimistic point out of anything if I try hard enough, and relate that to anything.
a soft habit iâm working on is to not sweat the small stuff because iâve gotten so sensitive to the world around me over the course of the last couple years and it has essentially put walls around me and my heart in the smallest settings and i find that it is harder for me to find joy because of this. i am trying to grasp the open-mindedness i used to have when i was younger. also not letting new knowledge and new information be the paradigm behind all my social interactions and to let others tell me who they are rather than off the bat trying to define them.
Gosh, just yesterday I was in a meeting at work and after meeting a few new people I sat down and realized I couldnât remember their names! I told myself Iâm gonna get better at this and this video really spoke to just how grounding it can be. Thank you, Ro!
my anxious personality makes me want to action fast, so my soft habit is to breathe and take it slow!
Soft habit ive been practicing is saying thank you to everyone and for everything! Makes people feel appreciated and helps me appreciate every little thing!
I find myself checking in with my values a lot more frequently. My values deeply revolve around connection, growth and love. I check in if I make the effort to have them present in the many aspects of my life, big or small. Whether Iâm deciding on career paths, reflecting on relationships or even interacting with strangers. I find that itâs so easy to get distracted or lost in life but checking in with my values reminds me of who I am and why I do what I do. This soft habit has helped me approach life with more intention and greater appreciation.
Thank you Rowena for always encouraging us to look inwards. Iâve been tuning in your videos since the beginning and youâve definitely had such a positive impact on the person I am today â¤
During the first lockdown I started writing funny and inspirational quotes on a whiteboard in my window, just to make people smile while walking past. I no longer change it daily but I do still write it (also because people keeping telling me the difference it makes to their day and to please not stop!). It's simple for me but seems to be something people often need to get through their day and, as someone with severe depression, I can understand this very well.
Curiosty about other people is so helpful for me. I am and has always been genuinly curious about everthing about everyone around me but beacuse of severe social anxiety that has rarely shown through. But the last couple of years or especially the very last years it has gotten better and I've started to get some of it back. It helps me SO MUCH to talk to strangers or patients in my work or colleuges or even bosses and authorities - when I am able to stay in that curious and interested mindset and mood. I forget that I am afraid, I forget to think about how I present to them or might embarrass myself. I focus on the other person while somehow automaticly being so much more myself than if I actually try to be myself. When I try consciously to be myself I always fail.
I made eye contact and sincerely say âyou tooâ/âhave a nice dayâ to someone in the service industry when they recite their usual âhave a nice dayâ. 9/10 times theyâll smile out of surprise. It breaks the habit of mindlessly reciting the same conventional things to each other.
This vid is such a good reminder of the stuff that I already do and I'm so proud of myself for the first time in awhile it's amazing. I have always thought about these but you putting them in words just really made it crystal clear to my mind and it was really helpful. Thank you Rowena đ
A soft habit I'm trying to implement when I'm speaking to my friends is giving them space to speak. We tend to speak very fast and I think it stems from trying to get points across before getting cut off so now I stop, I let them talk, and I try not to fill pauses with my own words but rather give them that time to process and say what they'd want freely
I needed this so much! Thank you!
a soft habit I learned is to recognize, name, and validate my feelings. when I am âsadâ, am I disappointed, anxious, irritatedâŚ? when I am âhappyâ, am I excited, comfortable, thankfulâŚ? and why that particular word over another?
this habit made me understand better my feelings and what causes each of them, so I can work on adjusting my environment to feel better at each moment
love for your fellow human what you love for yourself, it can be that extra 1% or a small gesture. Yesterday I gave my friend my last jolly rancher, I gave my friend a rose on valentine's day. I've been trying to show them small support throughout the semester because we all need a little pick me up and though I might not be able to help them with their bigger worries, I can bring a small moment free from their worries.
My soft habit is smiling and saying âHave a nice dayâ whenever Iâm at a store or coffee shop or wherever i am that someone is âservingâ me. Genuine smile and wishing them a nice day makes all the difference - i would know haha I work at a Starbucks and when someone does that so me it makes me feel so much better. I also make a point to practice is if i see someone that i find pretty or someone who has nice make up, tattoo or item of clothing i tell them that, even to i donât know them. Simple âHey! I like your shirt!â Can make someoneâs day.đ
Thankyou I really need this đ
My fave video to date ⤠this was so pure and wholesome
I love your channel. Got your video just when I needed it the most
So much lessons𼚠Thank you RowenađŤś
Love you, Ro!
Thank you so much for this great beautiful video đ
I love your dadâs response to the soft habit question, itâs simple yet wise â¤ď¸
what do i do and i'm getting better at is really listen to people, instead of hearing just to respond. so if i'm talking to someone and i think in say something, i just take a step back and make more effort to listen to the person and then when they stop talking, i think for a few seconds before start to respond
this helps me to collect my thoughts and reflect more about stuff in general, because this small habit makes you learn to process things before put out there
Thank you for the thoughtfulness you put into your videos.
Thank you Rowena. I found this a very valuable video!
I freaking love you and your brain
Great points ⤠be kinder , I get you!
VACATION!!!!! so so happy you took a vacation with your family, ro :ââ) iâve been following you for probably three years at this point and seeing ro of 2023 having a beautiful and restful vacay makes me so happy!
love this
A soft habit I've been working on is being less rigid and more fluid. Even when setting a loose schedule in my mind, I can feel very unfulfilled if I don't do exactly what I say I'm going to do. I'm working on recognizing that things change and that life can get in the way sometimes and that's okay. This doesn't necessarily have to correlate to a loss of discipline or confidence. I'm doing my best and being content with what I do makes me feel much more satisfied and less negative. â¨
iâm right there with you ! one thing thatâs been helping me lately is instead of labeling it a âto-do list,â i label it âideasâ . and then if i donât do it, iâve been trying to reframe my thinking to âwow ! look at how many of these ideas i tried today ! maybe i can try these other ones tomorrowâ . i hope this will help you as well â¤
(âĄÂ´ âż `âĄ)
This is my favorite video from you â¤
Thanks for sharing, rowena! Learning from the comments as well!
love your videos so much!!! they help me a lot to have more soft habits and face every day from a different approach! đŤ
i really like this subtle book review
A lot of great things spoken in this video! I think itâs really important to see the type of people we are off cameras vs. on camera. Are you kind, respectful, and caring? Or are you rude, mean, and selfish? These are things I ask myself who I want to be. Really enjoyed this video, happy Friday everyone â¤
Great video Rowena! Your thought on serving others and building integrity when no one is watching really spoke to me. Iâm excited to start implementing it. Thank you for this!
Loved this video. I am trying to do my best and add 1% effort to my interactions with others so instead of letting them ask ask ask me questions I now try to always make sure to show curiosity for others too and ask their opinion or how there day is going. I think there's a lot of people who serve us in this world that we often don't even acknowledge and just look past. I'm trying to show them they are seen, that they exist to me, and I say good morning or goodnight or just a smiley hello!
A soft habit I've adopted is saying thank you whenever talking someone and finish the conversation especially in work place. It really works to make a good relationship with people.
thank u 4 this video
Your parents sound like great people. I'm glad you have such a relationship with them. Great video, I will be working on my kindness - the tip with the bowl is something I need to implement!
one soft habit i've been trying out is texting friends/family after i spend time with them to let them know how much i enjoyed our time together! just a quick text feels really nice and makes me sit for a moment with gratitude for the relationships in my life
I think the soft habit will be to say thank you or express gratitude during the day. What a beautiful video Rowena, it felt like the conversation with our friend who wants to see us happy and calm. Lots of hugs from GDL, Mexico đđ¸
Sometimes approaching to others ain't easy especially when we r engulfed in assumptions...like what if they consider me to be cringey or say something of that sort behind me...that fear becomes so dominantly crippling!
Such a good video to start the mornings :')
This video really helped me open my mind to some things I need to change. I apologized to some friends that I hurt, and im going to take better care of myself and try to live without regrets and repair the regrets I already have.
I have been suffering from mental illnesses for a very long time and it has taken me quite a lot to live through it. I am better now than before. Recently, I am focusing on finding joy for myself and actually living my life. I feel like because I always focused on my work before only I have kinda strayed away from what I actually wanted - making genuine connections,friends. Working on myself to be a better human being, just those things always spike my interest so this vid really did come at the right time ⨠(it's actually really the right time cause I have noticed myself letting be much free than before when it comes to having fun, being with friends)
Edit: when the topic of kindness came I felt so proud of myself because I remember being kind and considerate was just something obvious to me as a child, now growing into an adult. People have tried to convince me otherwise, saying I am faking it and whatnot (I don't blame them exactly cause ik how hard it is to be genuinely compassionate these days the shock is normal). Nice to know I have been focusing on these stuff than the ones society decided to push on me.
What a lovely video, thank you Rowena đĽ°
Your energy seems so vibrant, loving it!
Don't know if it is a soft skill: not being afraid to give genuine compliments when we like something about someone â¨
Being someone we know or a stranger, it is a great love langage and can, sometimes, increase someone's self-confidence đĽ°
Honestly I needed this video at this point in my life. I want to develop good relationships when I go to college and meet a bunch of strangers! This helped me get rid of so many nerves about meeting new people!
I actually was excited to read your comments. Thanks for what you do to help people!
wow this came at the perfect time
My birthday giftâ¨
Thank youđ
Happiest birthday!! I hope your days will be filled with happiness and joy đ¤
OMG, the unconditional inward self-reflection is basically the essence of ho'oponopono and you just visited Hawaii- the synchronicity of that! Just practicing that as a daily habit has been my soft habit goal- going inward and going I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you and every time I see something on the outside irritates me, going to, Okay, what going on inside me? Loved the sharkie!!
Always learn so much from you. Thanks for sharing. SN: your hair is beautiful! Oh and this is my soft habit. Saying thank you. I consume a lot of social media that I love but never connect with the creator. I'm working on showing my appreciation more to those that provide so many good things in my life.
This may be a bit specific but, my paremts own a restaurant in which I help serve from time to time. One soft habit that they have always made sure my sister and I adopted is that, when eating out ,we are never loud while eating or disrepectful in any way to other customers or the waiters. Also, when we finish eating we always make sure to stack our plates and make them easily reachable (?) for the waiter so that when they come in a rush to clean up the plates and serve another thing everything is less stressful for them.
I've been trying to do acts of kindness without seeking praise for them. It's difficult because once I do something I want to be recognized for it and I find myself seeking that praise often... But I'm trying to do it just for the sake of doing it.
A soft habit I've started implementing is to not automatically assume malice when someone does something I consider bad for myself because it rarely is because of active malicious intent, rather ignorance etc. It helps me not think the world is working against me.
That pillow you have is so cute. I couldn't stop looking at itđ
For me it's been "include people" you never know who is feeling lonely that day so like at work or at home or in line at a store
âPretty heart. Pretty thoughts. Pretty face.â This is what came to mind when I watched your video. ⨠Stay blessed! đ
Oh I love this! Saying people's name always makes me feel like I was a bit classier.
Self awareness. Asking myself why I answers this way, why I'm furious on them that in the first place they did not do anything wrong and its already years and I'm always like that so I call out myself its not healthy and that is when I see the pattern in my behavior. In the past years I'm so focus on changing my insecurity "Externally" I never realize this insecurity "Internally".
Hey Rowena,
As usual, incredible content. Thank you so much!
I just wanted to comment on the editing style of this video specifically. When a scene is cut so many times, specially in the middle of a sentence, I find it so distracting, that is hard to pay attention : (
Thanks again for sharing your wisdom! : )
I just started saying peoples names too! Especially in customer service so they feel appreciated.
Had a really long talk with my gf a few days ago about how Iâve been really negative recently and how that affects our relationship and my relationship with the world around me, recently I guess you could say that Iâve adopted a glass half full mentality which is something Iâve always tried to portray to my friends but not necessarily had in my own mind
I donât really like confrontation, so I try to be an very peaceful person. For example, I try to be more understanding and optimistic when dealing with people, and Iâm really careful not to project any negative feelings on anyone but share only good vibes with a smile.
So a soft habit I would like to develop is comfortably sharing my feelings with people Iâm close to.
As someone who is going through a healing process i really needed this video. Thanks ro â¤
i missed listening to "hello sweetest potatoes".
welcome back ro, so excited
my soft habit that has honestly changed my life would be seeing the positive in everyone.
My sister has been in a less than desirable relationship for 15 years. In which time she went from thriving and healthy and able to disabled, in a wheelchair and also lost her memory in 2019. I have been her carer for 5 years. I've expressed my strong opinion that she needs to throw that man straight out of her life and she has yet to do so. To the point where it has created serious tension and problems in our sister relationship. My soft habit I've recently adopted is to keep my mouth shut. I did for many years out of respect (they are much older than me/we're Asian/they got together when I was only 12) and realised I was disrespecting her by not standing up for her. I have done so now and he is fully aware I do not think he is good enough for her. He has never been physically abusive but definitely mentally which I have only just got her to realise. But recently, I've stopped telling her what I think. I will listen to her but I keep quiet. Its so easy when you care about someone and see them doing something so wrong for themselves, to just keep talking and pushing your opinion until they listen. But in these situations, they never listen. The heart wants what it wants as they say. And I needed to protect my peace by not getting so heated about it. At the end of the day, its her life and her choice. If she doesn't specifically ask for my opinion, I don't give it. I don't want to keep wasting my energy. Now, I do my duties as her carer and we can have a good time as sisters. But I don't get involved in that part of her life. And I also make sure she doesn't get involved in that part of mine as the "older sister who knows better" because after 15 years she clearly doesn't lol. You can strongly disagree with someone and still have a loving relationship with them. Regardless of if you know they hurting, and cannot understand. You can still support their mental wellbeing without supporting their decisions