Bill Maher's New Rules #1

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  • čas přidán 15. 07. 2024
  • A selection of Maher's funniest New Rules.
    -----------------------
    Other Bill Maher compilations: • Bill Maher Compilations
    If you want more of these compilations, please consider showing some love on Patreon: patreon.com/mostlybillmaherclips
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 272

  • @colinskelding8959
    @colinskelding8959 Před 4 lety +64

    "We want deal"
    I laughed then cried then laughed again for twenty minutes.😄😂😜

  • @eaubert1
    @eaubert1 Před 6 lety +12

    That look on Bill Clinton's face says: "How the fuck do they know about the cigar?" Simply priceless!!!

  • @Vintage206
    @Vintage206 Před 5 lety +130

    Life is better with Bill Maher!💖

  • @lauralishes1
    @lauralishes1 Před 3 lety +23

    The flash of horror and recognition in Clinton's face was hilarious.

    • @daveman5860
      @daveman5860 Před 2 lety

      That was one of the best;. deer caught in the headlights moments,,, ever ))😳)) 🎸⚡

    • @Lorenzo23able
      @Lorenzo23able Před rokem

      @@daveman5860 iii

    • @Smedley1947
      @Smedley1947 Před rokem

      Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

  • @flyguy1527
    @flyguy1527 Před 3 lety +28

    Bill has some of the most talented writers!

  • @Bubba1960.
    @Bubba1960. Před 2 lety +2

    Omg, the look on that idiots face when he said, "we want deal!" I died.

  • @gogyoo
    @gogyoo Před 2 lety +3

    He did it again, made another Python member laugh

  • @lurchlogan
    @lurchlogan Před 5 lety +1

    "Hey Fuck You... You Know What"?? 😬😬
    That part always makes me LoL!! 🤣🤣

  • @tylerkeller8869
    @tylerkeller8869 Před 2 lety +2

    That cheese-ball grin Bill cuts after every punchline😂🤣

  • @eargasm1072
    @eargasm1072 Před 4 lety +5

    The only two things I miss not having cable TV... Bill Maher and TCM

    • @thudius55
      @thudius55 Před 4 lety

      Just go on to CZcams and ya! Haven't missed a thing he's still funny as ever...💯🙄🤔🤘🏽...

  • @franniealbaugh1298
    @franniealbaugh1298 Před 6 lety +40

    Great compilation. 😂 I’d forgotten some of them. Funny Flashbacks!!! Still laughing... 😆

  • @polite_as_fuck
    @polite_as_fuck Před 5 lety +42

    I’d pay good money to see Trump’s reaction to Mueller asking him about getting peed on.

  • @531katie
    @531katie Před 6 lety +54

    Thanks for the medley. I needed to laugh today. Even if some are dated, it’s like Groundhog Day anyway with this orange sphincter as president Thank you.

    • @kenhasibar2624
      @kenhasibar2624 Před 4 lety +1

      Well said! 🍻
      Hope you're feeling happier. 🍻🍻

  • @SuperCatman
    @SuperCatman Před 6 lety +109

    *WE WANT DEAL!*

    • @losaikogogreen3636
      @losaikogogreen3636 Před 5 lety +2

      How about repealing taxes to benefit the middle class, Guaranteeing pre-existing conditions, affordable medications, allowing more judges for refugees at the border, arresting all violent Trump or other violent political supporters, and releasing all Trump as well as other politicians Tax info by legislation, Tax & Business Records! I also want automatic Impeachments for those caught lying or cheating with still jail terms based on how bad the results!!!
      The majority of Americans wang these laws.
      No Gerrymandering or voter suppression!!! Voter fraud has only been caught by republican canadites and Trump refuses to discuss it!!! It is wrong.

    • @Pravdacz-tp8zu
      @Pravdacz-tp8zu Před 5 lety

      @@losaikogogreen3636 No thanks.

    • @2013venjix
      @2013venjix Před 5 lety

      Priceless

  • @finalgirl9474
    @finalgirl9474 Před 5 lety +32

    As a psychology student, the friend prostitute is pretty accurate. BTW love the bukkake reference.

    • @PreacherJenkins
      @PreacherJenkins Před 4 lety +3

      Nothing Freudian there.

    • @savfab5689
      @savfab5689 Před 4 lety

      Bet you do Final girl...I bet you u do!

    • @adriantrejo8397
      @adriantrejo8397 Před 2 lety

      Did you do anything with that? It's a serious question. Frasier is my favorite show & I enjoy helping people so I want to know how feasible it is for a regular joe like me to become a clinical psychologist?

  • @petergreen2552
    @petergreen2552 Před 5 lety +13

    Clinton's cigar look. 🤪

  • @FelloniousMonk22
    @FelloniousMonk22 Před 4 lety +2

    'Its like they don't want you to know the truth!' Cut to CIA Director Hayden LOL

  • @tylerkeller8869
    @tylerkeller8869 Před 2 lety +1

    "...sold you a phone at the Verizon store." 🤣😂

  • @hew195050
    @hew195050 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you for this. His one liners are premo!

  • @lolicanadian
    @lolicanadian Před 5 lety +6

    5:15 - It's the rule here in Toronto. The Don Valley Parkway is usually so clogged both ways that _literally everyone_ calls it "the Don Valley Parking Lot".

  • @Mr_Case_Time
    @Mr_Case_Time Před 5 lety +159

    I haven't watched his show in a while, I hope he's still offending everyone!

    • @trumpjonguno6994
      @trumpjonguno6994 Před 5 lety +16

      Justin Mills he is, and it's a beautiful thing.

    • @richardramirez3805
      @richardramirez3805 Před 5 lety +2

      Justin, nah he's been compromised by the far-left, he's got TDS*

    • @kenhasibar2624
      @kenhasibar2624 Před 4 lety +4

      Only whiny, crybaby, don't-hurt-my-feelings pussies get offended. By anything.
      I'm a bartender. People call me jackass all the time. I don't know them well enough that their opinion matters, so I just shrug it off, and finish with: "That'll be four bucks." 🍻

    • @Wally-pu2hh
      @Wally-pu2hh Před 4 lety

      He offends Truth

    • @tongbaimasongilmore3603
      @tongbaimasongilmore3603 Před 4 lety +2

      Better than listening to trump .

  • @proud2bpagan
    @proud2bpagan Před 5 lety +9

    "Am I an avid outdoorsman,or am i just *really* attracted to firemen?" Can't it be both?

  • @bluecollarhispanic
    @bluecollarhispanic Před 6 lety +5

    I used to watch Bill when he was on ABC back in the early 2000's, I do admire some of the things he says. But these clips are all over the place.

  • @Absurdginger
    @Absurdginger Před 6 lety +1

    Oh fuck that Donald Rumsfeld 911 Iraq war new rule had me laughing so hard I woke up my wife, she didn’t think it was funny....

  • @enrique6195
    @enrique6195 Před 4 lety +2

    We want deal. Lmaoooo

  • @misamatsumori
    @misamatsumori Před 5 lety +2

    Thanks for laughter Bill!

  • @2013venjix
    @2013venjix Před 5 lety +5

    5:00!
    Trump: We want deal. 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

  • @ShuyanStoryTeller
    @ShuyanStoryTeller Před 5 lety +141

    I am Chinese. I want deal.

    • @seanxu2517
      @seanxu2517 Před 5 lety +1

      Me too. 😂

    • @AlexSGabor
      @AlexSGabor Před 4 lety

      Joe Home #kanyewest I am #GZeus #WilliamMount #snapalert #saveyourpennies for #snapchange #trillionairesfortrump not #billionairesforbush #georgesoros is not #antifa #anarchy #antichrist or #antichristian #youarehired #youarehigher by #infinitology #copperkills #silvereagle #gold #silver #banksters

  • @yegfreethinker
    @yegfreethinker Před 6 lety +11

    5:00 XD _we want deal_ !

  • @TampaJohn
    @TampaJohn Před 6 lety +70

    Allah-palooza? 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  • @wesleyhite8203
    @wesleyhite8203 Před 4 lety +6

    On every one of these shows, there is all ways some one who thinks they have to laugh louder than anyone else.

  • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
    @jed-henrywitkowski6470 Před 4 lety +5

    Nice. This is how comedy is supposed to be. Everyone is game, regardless of the Comedian's personal worldview.

  • @taniasinesi2934
    @taniasinesi2934 Před 5 lety +5

    vote for him if he ran for public office. I work extra just to keep HBO .I would rather skip a meal than miss Bill Time with Bill Maher is my favorite show of all time.He is so smart and so funny I look forward to it each week. Would definitely

  • @exessex3522
    @exessex3522 Před 3 lety +4

    9:20 The guys who injure or strand themselves on cliffs, mountains etc. should be given the lowest priority by rescue services and then charged full price for their rescue and treatment. Knowingly and intentionally taking risks should not be subsidized.

  • @johnelam23
    @johnelam23 Před 5 lety +5

    I’m so going to miss the Karl lagerfeld joke

  • @BeeBumper
    @BeeBumper Před 6 lety +19

    Hold on those icedancers had to train to do those moves, I just did them.

    • @joniahdemarco3371
      @joniahdemarco3371 Před 6 lety +7

      Angel Gd
      The moves or the ice dancers? 🤔

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 Před 6 lety +1

      angel: yea, but try it on skates.

    • @BeeBumper
      @BeeBumper Před 6 lety +4

      I'm Canadian, I have done it on skates.

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 Před 6 lety +1

      angel: well then, you should try out for the winter Olympics. You may have a chance.

    • @BeeBumper
      @BeeBumper Před 6 lety +1

      Random places is fine, but I've never been much of an exhibitionist. Attention whore maybe.

  • @williambunting803
    @williambunting803 Před 4 lety +1

    That Haj crowd looks at least twice as large as Trumps inauguration get together!

  • @space_ghost1994
    @space_ghost1994 Před 4 lety

    Very funny compilation 👏 👏 well done !

  • @bigal-san2k197
    @bigal-san2k197 Před 3 lety

    5 seconds into the video and I'm already dying

  • @thudius55
    @thudius55 Před 4 lety +1

    Bill your funny & Crazy my man bill keep up da, good work you keep me with a smile.....

  • @abhishekkhandkar
    @abhishekkhandkar Před 3 lety

    That oreo joke was out of the world man

  • @margueritejohnson6407
    @margueritejohnson6407 Před 5 lety +7

    I think Oreos must be an American thing. I tried one once, well, half of one. Never again.

    • @kapediten1968
      @kapediten1968 Před 5 lety +2

      Marguerite Johnson they are disgusting.

    • @margueritejohnson6407
      @margueritejohnson6407 Před 5 lety +1

      Kape Diten I’m really glad someone agrees. The damn things are everywhere in different flavours!

    • @kapediten1968
      @kapediten1968 Před 5 lety +1

      Marguerite Johnson yes they have a plethora of those nasty tastes.

    • @daddius
      @daddius Před 5 lety +2

      I’m American and I agree... they are garbage discs.

    • @lurchlogan
      @lurchlogan Před 5 lety +2

      Oreo's are one of those things that you love when you're a kid(anything with loads of sugar really)but absolutely despise as an adult!!

  • @computerstar9883
    @computerstar9883 Před 2 lety

    OMG WE want DEAL 😂😂😂

  • @reneangulotrujillo1
    @reneangulotrujillo1 Před 3 lety

    brilliant man!

  • @giglamarr2236
    @giglamarr2236 Před 4 lety

    Your boy Bill is wild !

  • @Nicolas-fo8qd
    @Nicolas-fo8qd Před 2 lety +1

    Wow the new rules back then were much better

  • @kevinkeating1394
    @kevinkeating1394 Před 3 lety

    This was super funny 1 of da best

  • @donaldedward4951
    @donaldedward4951 Před 5 lety +3

    Trump is such rich material. This would go right over the head of many Americans and that makes if even funnier.
    The Art of the Deal. "I wanna wall with my name on it. Hadrian has one and he wasn`t even American".

  • @rachellepeterson6225
    @rachellepeterson6225 Před 5 lety +2

    OMG! hilarious!

  • @CarolineChiasson
    @CarolineChiasson Před 6 lety +13

    3:15 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @mrjeff3373
    @mrjeff3373 Před 4 lety

    Bill is the king.

  • @PeggyJame
    @PeggyJame Před 5 lety +1

    Comedy is essential

  • @pauljmorton
    @pauljmorton Před 5 lety +4

    Is "boo khaki" a pun on "bukkake"? o.O

  • @liamshaughnessy6246
    @liamshaughnessy6246 Před 2 lety

    Ha ha ha! Lol 😂 x2!

  • @codibick
    @codibick Před 6 lety

    I lost it at "Bear ass"

  • @nashsanadiki3104
    @nashsanadiki3104 Před 4 lety

    I love the Haji Podge. I was left at Home with my cousin when my parents when to Haji.

  • @jonnnyren6245
    @jonnnyren6245 Před 3 lety

    A restaurant called "probably chicken." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @CraftyZanTub
    @CraftyZanTub Před 5 lety +6

    That Oreo is a statement mess, not a cookie. I do like the statement.

    • @AlastorsShadowDemon
      @AlastorsShadowDemon Před 5 lety

      I think they should have kept the cookie in its original size, but each row had different color cream.

    • @CraftyZanTub
      @CraftyZanTub Před 5 lety

      @@AlastorsShadowDemon
      They made the cookie the way they did so that it would show the colors vividly on camera. Having one cream layer multiple colors may not have showed well on camera.

  • @MScorpioM
    @MScorpioM Před 4 lety

    Allahpalooza - that cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣

  • @paulstillman2878
    @paulstillman2878 Před 5 lety

    That was hilarious.

  • @lizabethgussman331
    @lizabethgussman331 Před 5 lety +1

    Lubbock is a nice city. In Lubbock, you can see forever.

  • @penelopehunt2371
    @penelopehunt2371 Před 5 lety

    Ouch ! Very good

  • @Alrukitaf
    @Alrukitaf Před 4 lety

    Gratuitous.

  • @tattben1207
    @tattben1207 Před 6 lety +14

    Not a big fan but I did like the bank of hope one.

  • @johnpapa8681
    @johnpapa8681 Před 4 lety +2

    I didn't know I liked Bill Maher.

  • @ricktd6891
    @ricktd6891 Před 5 lety

    Ooo, parking in the driveway and driving on the Parkway joke. That's only 3 or 4 decades old.

  • @jacobgeist6580
    @jacobgeist6580 Před 5 lety +1

    That really is what Lubbock looks like

  • @danp1471
    @danp1471 Před 5 lety +1

    Did they seriously make an oreo like that? Im not gay but I would have bought that.

    • @warmonk5915
      @warmonk5915 Před 4 lety

      Dan P ya but I don’t think they sold it I think it was for show

  • @chrissiebawn9357
    @chrissiebawn9357 Před 3 měsíci

    LOVE LOVE LOVE 😀🤣❤🇨🇦🇺🇸🌍🕊🙏🖖

  • @caseybledsoe770
    @caseybledsoe770 Před 6 lety +7

    Did Rumsfeld keep the *only* piece?

  • @caseybledsoe770
    @caseybledsoe770 Před 6 lety +15

    Allah-Palooza lol

  • @kaziabir1
    @kaziabir1 Před 6 lety +6

    How we have to joke about the looks of a murderer while his victim is dead and forgotten. RIP Trevor Martin.

    • @kaziabir1
      @kaziabir1 Před 6 lety +1

      If there was any true justice, he would be. Unfortunately, the republicans had to turn this political.

    • @pamelacass9642
      @pamelacass9642 Před 5 lety +3

      Treyvon Martin.

  • @supermojo9672
    @supermojo9672 Před 5 lety +2

    Rest in peace karl

  • @mchlive6930
    @mchlive6930 Před 5 lety +3

    I wish I could afford HBO. Cable has gotten insanely expensive. Internet too. It's like they think we should pay 200 a month for it.

  • @supermojo9672
    @supermojo9672 Před 5 lety +4

    Georges ZIMMERMAN has real personality issue.

  • @MonsterbirdNation
    @MonsterbirdNation Před 6 lety +4

    Hey, I have a piece of metal from the Pentagon. A relative got it while working disaster relief. It and several other pieces made their way into the equipment and bags they carried while relief efforts were carried out. Who doesn't have a piece at this point.

  • @jamesw9811
    @jamesw9811 Před 6 lety +4

    New rules, old rules, they all rule!
    #meettherealdonaldtrump James wilson
    #BLUESTRAVELERwhoops James wilson

  • @SIKE01
    @SIKE01 Před 6 lety +1

    GEORGE ZIMMERMAN's body double

  • @GabrielGomez.
    @GabrielGomez. Před 4 lety

    04:57 hahahahahahahhaa 🤣🤣🤣

  • @petergreen2552
    @petergreen2552 Před 5 lety +3

    Is my money safe here? I hope

  • @Smedley1947
    @Smedley1947 Před rokem

    @Smedley1947
    1 second ago
    Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

  • @glennhager900
    @glennhager900 Před 4 lety

    Happy Birthday, Bill Maher! January 20 also birthday of Kellyanne Conway and Nikki Haley

  • @jakerbames9701
    @jakerbames9701 Před 3 lety

    I swear a turd falling out of the sky landing on my hand is more funny than Billie boy

  • @adamhonestyanddecency5054

    He’s 100% right about Marilyn Monroe.

  • @soroushshiri5592
    @soroushshiri5592 Před 5 lety +2

    Im persian.WE ALSO WANT DEAL.

  • @EtherealAriel
    @EtherealAriel Před 6 lety +12

    Friend prostitutes is very clever indeed

  • @c.d.dailey8013
    @c.d.dailey8013 Před 4 lety

    LMBO
    If the Korean sound like Gandam Style, then the Chinese sound like this song from Disney's Mulan.
    "Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns! ..."

  • @craigcorson3036
    @craigcorson3036 Před 4 lety

    4:42 They got the Olympics logo wrong, too.

  • @user-dz6lz6dw9o
    @user-dz6lz6dw9o Před 4 měsíci

    We need 2003 to 2007 new rules

  • @Mevenda1
    @Mevenda1 Před 4 lety +1

    We want deal!

  • @delcapslock100
    @delcapslock100 Před 6 lety +31

    seems like he had much better writers in the past

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 Před 6 lety

      error: well, this video just picked out his best lines and ignores all the other stuff. That is why it seems funnyer.

    • @GiratinaofFury
      @GiratinaofFury Před 5 lety +1

      Actually, R Mc, he wasn't mad that the President said it, he was mad that the standard is that if Obama had said that, he would have been thrown out of office and torn to pieces as a traitor, but the current President has people lining up to say that he didn't just say it, despite evidence to the contrary.

    • @anjelinavillalobos3973
      @anjelinavillalobos3973 Před 5 lety

      he was upset because when he said the same thing the was thrown off the air, and the standard was set higher for trump than if obama had said it

    • @nammyohorengekyoooooo
      @nammyohorengekyoooooo Před 5 lety

      Yes seems a little sexist, obviously not many women writers on staff I'm guessing. But still a big maher fan.

    • @trumpjonguno6994
      @trumpjonguno6994 Před 5 lety

      He IS one of the writers... You're just trying to sneak in a snarky insult.

  • @paulavery5889
    @paulavery5889 Před 2 lety +1

    Bill Maher makes me laugh no matter how shitty I feel.

  • @freeman7296
    @freeman7296 Před 5 lety

    He can be funny when he sticks to comedy.

  • @jacobgeist6580
    @jacobgeist6580 Před 5 lety

    Actually a more accurate picture of Lubbock is an empty plain that spans for hundreds of miles in all directions

  • @a.landon9503
    @a.landon9503 Před rokem

    I love Bill Maher...and I am a guy who knows brilliance. (I produced three Chris Rush albums; one exec. produced by George Carlin). But now the hammer...Please do not give George Z. any fame or notoriety. He should be exiled to a penal colony. Like Papillion.

  • @GeorgiaOverdrive
    @GeorgiaOverdrive Před 5 lety +1

    Yea he definitely dyes his hair.

  • @perryrobles6813
    @perryrobles6813 Před 5 lety +5

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 Před 4 lety

      Ikr?! 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😄😃😀

  • @wesleyhite8203
    @wesleyhite8203 Před 4 lety

    Bill Maher sounds and looks a lot like Dr. Evil.

  • @victorakandu9419
    @victorakandu9419 Před 4 lety

    America!

  • @tedhall6148
    @tedhall6148 Před 4 lety +1

    Ahla polooza