Bill Maher's New Rules #2

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  • čas přidán 23. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 246

  • @jmichaelewan8455
    @jmichaelewan8455 Před 3 lety +27

    As a Canadian, that pulling the shirts off joke deserved a much bigger laugh

    • @glenn6583
      @glenn6583 Před rokem +2

      Yes that one really got me laughing a little about my favorite neighbors!

  • @chipbagg3342
    @chipbagg3342 Před 4 lety +16

    his writers.... no words... i am speechless... no limits.... anything goes.

  • @sulla175
    @sulla175 Před 5 lety +73

    That line about the hockey fight. Canada thanks you.

  • @josuepatricio5311
    @josuepatricio5311 Před 6 lety +299

    Bill Maher is an American treasure

    • @BOBON0101
      @BOBON0101 Před 6 lety

      He is a pathetic dumb fuck.. I am an American.. 😡🤬

    • @NTHNCSGOContent
      @NTHNCSGOContent Před 6 lety +19

      BO BON Uses emoijs > calls intellectuals dumb

    • @NTHNCSGOContent
      @NTHNCSGOContent Před 6 lety +10

      Stuart Penman nice Christian values :>

    • @stretch54
      @stretch54 Před 6 lety +4

      @Josue Patricio-- The people above that responded to you lead sad., humorless lives.

    • @luisreyes1963
      @luisreyes1963 Před 6 lety +2

      Stuart Penman Dennis Miller is a shill for Trump fascists. 👹

  • @computerstar9883
    @computerstar9883 Před 2 lety +5

    "John McCain thinks countries need bombing like your waiter thinks your food needs more fresh pepper." 😂😂😂 THAT LAUGH AFTERWARDS

  • @JaimeWulf
    @JaimeWulf Před 5 lety +32

    I came close to falling out of my chair on the last one, lol!

  • @BeastOrGod
    @BeastOrGod Před 6 lety +67

    "New Rule, DON'T GIVE AWAY THE ENDING WITH THE TITLE"
    SERIOUSLY! YES!

    • @MightyQuinnj
      @MightyQuinnj Před 6 lety

      Ghostly ...a better title then? Let's help them out. Perhaps, dead men tell no tales.

    • @augustfreundlich8730
      @augustfreundlich8730 Před 6 lety

      8}9]

    • @augustfreundlich8730
      @augustfreundlich8730 Před 6 lety

      Ghostly popop

    • @BeastOrGod
      @BeastOrGod Před 6 lety

      Suddenly a pirate movie.

    • @BeastOrGod
      @BeastOrGod Před 6 lety +2

      I couldn't watch the last survivor, not only was it hard to watch to begin with because it was such an OBVIOUSLY military patriotic shit targeted at hillbillies that constantly suck the cock of US flag, but to know the ending is the fucking nail in the coffin.

  • @jameshorn270
    @jameshorn270 Před 6 lety +102

    That country with the colorful fields is almost certainly the Netherlands, and the fields are full of tulips.

    • @irisachternaam
      @irisachternaam Před 5 lety +10

      and since the Nethelands legalized gay marriage first, the second part is also pretty accurate.

    • @vibekeschneidermann689
      @vibekeschneidermann689 Před 5 lety +2

      @@irisachternaam They didn't. Denmark did.

    • @SerenityNow9015
      @SerenityNow9015 Před 5 lety

      @@vibekeschneidermann689 Not true. Same sex marriage became legal in the Netherlands in April 2001. Denmark did not legalize it until June 2012. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_same-sex_marriage

    • @vwisse
      @vwisse Před 5 lety +2

      @@vibekeschneidermann689 No they didn't. Denmark had same sex unions with almost the same rights as marriage but it wasn't fully legalized marriage. The Netherlands was the first country to fully legalize same sex marriage with the exact same rights as regular marriage.

    • @vibekeschneidermann689
      @vibekeschneidermann689 Před 5 lety

      @@vwisse Same sex unions gave exactly the same rights as other unions. What exceptions do you think there was? There were an exception that it might not hold up in other countries unless these countries agreed. But that was meant for avoidance of "same sex-union-tourists".

  • @rohp1283
    @rohp1283 Před 6 lety +76

    You are a fracking genius Bill

    • @lukessummerguitar
      @lukessummerguitar Před 5 lety

      No, no he isn't... and I like Bill. But this really isn't funny at all. Peter Kay is funny and Micky Flanagan is funny... and Peter Ustinov is a bona fide genius..... but this show isn't funny, it's just bad politics - done badly

    • @danl1071
      @danl1071 Před 5 lety +4

      I am guessing you meant freaking and not fracking... which now disqualifies you as someone who can judge a genius!!! But he is funny as hell!!!

  • @straytarnish9443
    @straytarnish9443 Před 2 lety +1

    I love the look on Bill's Bill's guest's faces when they obviously took a joke the wrong way

  • @irisachternaam
    @irisachternaam Před 5 lety +16

    the field trip skit is brilliant: It's actually in the Netherlands. The first country to legalize gay marriage. So yeah, as close to gay heaven as possible.

  • @jswaggart01
    @jswaggart01 Před 4 lety +2

    Sledding 69, nice one Bill. And don’t forget, when the Winter Olympics are held in Canada, 35% must be Canadian hahaha

  • @Ankhakaru
    @Ankhakaru Před 5 lety +5

    "YOU COMPLETE ME CHAINSMOKING SUMANTRAN BABY!"😘🤣🤣🤣

  • @okiepita50t-town28
    @okiepita50t-town28 Před 6 lety +58

    Sledding 69. I laughed so hard snot was coming out my nose.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 Před 6 lety +1

      😂😂😂😂😂👍

    • @josephschultz1753
      @josephschultz1753 Před 5 lety

      Okiepita50 T-town where else does it come out???.I don’t want to know!

    • @sheilahayden816
      @sheilahayden816 Před 5 lety +2

      😂🤣😂 love Bill Maher

    • @adamsmith5913
      @adamsmith5913 Před 5 lety +2

      That shit is funnny

    • @hoffer54
      @hoffer54 Před 5 lety

      @@josephschultz1753 How about when you hack up a lugie, some of than comes from your lungs, or your throat.

  • @cholecystokinin9
    @cholecystokinin9 Před 5 lety +5

    OMG the lady that said Jesus appeared on TV during an episode of The Bachelor must "join the ticket as Rick Santorum's running mate" HAHAHA!!

    • @computerstar9883
      @computerstar9883 Před 2 lety +1

      "The only thing good about Jesus appearing on your TV, you can ask him to His face: Crist who watches this shit!" 😂😂😂😂

  • @mikemaresca1350
    @mikemaresca1350 Před 5 lety +50

    Bill Maher for president.

    • @jamesw4198
      @jamesw4198 Před 5 lety +7

      I want to see the debates where he asks Trump for his birth certificate to prove he's not an orangutan lol

    • @hankigoe829
      @hankigoe829 Před 5 lety +2

      He's got my vote

  • @vonpaldanius
    @vonpaldanius Před 5 lety +21

    Still laughing in 2019 😂

  • @billschipper1718
    @billschipper1718 Před 5 lety +11

    awesome video! he's the best on tv

  • @marvinthiessen3454
    @marvinthiessen3454 Před 6 lety +20

    One of your better ones, Bill, good job and a bonus to your writers, eh?

    • @danidejaneiro8378
      @danidejaneiro8378 Před 3 lety

      You deserve a bonus just for doing your job properly?

    • @marvinthiessen3454
      @marvinthiessen3454 Před 3 lety

      @@danidejaneiro8378 Most professional comics know really good writers are hard to find. Take care of your good ones and they won't have a reason to jump ship. No employee likes a cheap boss.

    • @danidejaneiro8378
      @danidejaneiro8378 Před 3 lety

      @@marvinthiessen3454 - did that happen?

    • @marvinthiessen3454
      @marvinthiessen3454 Před 3 lety

      @@danidejaneiro8378 Ask Bill.

    • @danidejaneiro8378
      @danidejaneiro8378 Před 3 lety

      @@marvinthiessen3454 - ok derp lol

  • @mannycastro1830
    @mannycastro1830 Před 4 lety +2

    Simply Bill Maher is awesome!!!

  • @ciociaroirrequiete2927
    @ciociaroirrequiete2927 Před 4 lety +4

    the chain smoking Sumatran baby completes me as well!

  • @xelax0465
    @xelax0465 Před 5 lety +6

    Bill 0’Reilly’s laugh is priceless

  • @johnnycto7576
    @johnnycto7576 Před 4 lety +60

    There's a problem with these clips. They end too quickly.

  • @glenn6583
    @glenn6583 Před rokem

    Bill is priceless. He must have some great writers behind him!😊

  • @supermojo9672
    @supermojo9672 Před 5 lety +8

    Hey! You are triping over nederland at 2:35! And yes you can definitlty do acide there 😵😁

  • @emsleywyatt3400
    @emsleywyatt3400 Před 5 lety +1

    The woman trying not to laugh at the sledding 69 joke is the former Governor of Michigan, Jennifer Granholm.

  • @robertd1211
    @robertd1211 Před 5 lety +3

    LOL, this clip is a time capsule. Razr, Colin Quinn, Elliott Spitzer...

  • @Sheema777
    @Sheema777 Před 5 lety +3

    Bill you are so good!

  • @computerstar9883
    @computerstar9883 Před 2 lety +1

    "The only thing good about Jesus appearing on your TV, you can ask him to His face: Crist who watches this shit!" 😂😂😂😂

  • @steveclapper5424
    @steveclapper5424 Před 6 lety +53

    Boy, Putin really does give a look.

    • @abc456f
      @abc456f Před 6 lety +6

      steve clapper Trump thinks it's love.

    • @leondarcy7367
      @leondarcy7367 Před 6 lety +3

      He also actually kills people.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 Před 6 lety +2

      @@leondarcy7367 we know!😂😂 Vladimir Putin, aka the Bod-Father, aka the beady-eyed Assassin!😨 I could go-on but you get point!

  • @phriedokra6158
    @phriedokra6158 Před 3 lety +3

    God blowing a one hitter in the bottom of the 9th...priceless

  • @SophiaAphrodite
    @SophiaAphrodite Před 6 lety +52

    Chuck Norris has never filled out one of those surveys...………………………………
    Because he would never submit.

  • @GinaSigillito
    @GinaSigillito Před 5 lety +5

    Omg, I'm crying 😭

  • @augustus331
    @augustus331 Před 4 lety +3

    The country you want to do acid in is the Netherlands, and we actually sell psychedelic mushrooms at legal stores here in the Netherlands. The government allows the sale of mushrooms for private usage
    So come on down, Bill and we'll have ourselves a good time!

  • @HollyAnneWilson-rv2kh
    @HollyAnneWilson-rv2kh Před rokem +1

    Luv for bill.

  • @jadeimingan184
    @jadeimingan184 Před 5 lety +14

    Sledding 69 hahahahahahahahaha

  • @tracimetcalf3374
    @tracimetcalf3374 Před 3 lety +1

    I think I have a crush on Bill . I know he is old but, damn. I love you Bill!

  • @531katie
    @531katie Před 6 lety +1

    Thanks again for posting these. The audio isn’t aligned with the video but it’s possibly my phone. If it isn’t ... well it’s still funny. Thanks.

  • @thudius55
    @thudius55 Před 5 lety +1

    Bill your da, KING" ...

  • @exessex3522
    @exessex3522 Před 3 lety +2

    5:30 You can see why Maher called his film "Religulous" when you look at the way clergymen dress. Do they never look at themselves in the mirror and think "You look absolutely ludicrous"!?

  • @vectorman7140
    @vectorman7140 Před 5 lety +2

    This shit is pure gold

  • @chopperaxon6171
    @chopperaxon6171 Před 6 lety +4

    Brilliant

  • @joshlobsenz7252
    @joshlobsenz7252 Před 6 lety +10

    Just waiting for this to be reported for nudity😂

  • @komfykoala6083
    @komfykoala6083 Před 3 lety +1

    Love the sledding 69.

  • @aycaramba9540
    @aycaramba9540 Před 5 lety +8

    2:36 Holland IS absolutely gay heaven : ))))

  • @tediousmaximus1067
    @tediousmaximus1067 Před 6 lety +9

    I love these new rules but I'm pretty sure Bill doesn't write them. He has a team of comedy writers.

    • @abc456f
      @abc456f Před 6 lety +2

      Steve Hunter He writes with them.

    • @voltagebinary1006
      @voltagebinary1006 Před 6 lety +4

      News flash....all comedy is written this way except stand up.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 Před 6 lety

      @@voltagebinary1006 👍👏👏👏👏👍

    • @tacoheadmakenzie9311
      @tacoheadmakenzie9311 Před 5 lety +1

      ...snd, believe it or not, most actors don't do their own stunts, either .

  • @Paolo8772
    @Paolo8772 Před 6 lety +3

    Very funny indeed.

  • @paulavery5889
    @paulavery5889 Před 2 lety

    This dude is too funny lmao

  • @trumpjonguno6994
    @trumpjonguno6994 Před 5 lety +3

    Why did you stop? 😂😂😂

  • @janicetoppino8074
    @janicetoppino8074 Před 10 měsíci

    O Bill I have missed you 🤗

  • @neomonk5619
    @neomonk5619 Před 5 lety +2

    Its actually Detroit ... classic.

  • @philryan3540
    @philryan3540 Před 5 lety

    And we take pictures of our food to send to others!

  • @sackoshee4752
    @sackoshee4752 Před 9 měsíci

    who is the old guy who can't stop laughing at the Gingrich jokes next to Michael Steele? Please inform.

  • @user-sb5uf8yz1d
    @user-sb5uf8yz1d Před 5 lety +1

    a is the best talk in USA

  • @petervince167
    @petervince167 Před 2 lety

    I hope nobody is trying out sledging 69.😂😂😌

  • @masterchinese28
    @masterchinese28 Před 2 lety

    Sledding 69! LMAO

  • @heathcliffO_o
    @heathcliffO_o Před 5 lety +2

    8:15 lady who definitely watches the bachelor

  • @tylerkeller8869
    @tylerkeller8869 Před 2 lety

    That's Holland and those are tulips.

  • @f.rsneep5007
    @f.rsneep5007 Před 4 lety +1

    2:32 that is the Nederlands🇳🇱

  • @nathanroos4143
    @nathanroos4143 Před 3 lety +1

    2:30 it’s holland, and you can totally get away with lsd in the Netherlands. Don’t though, we don’t like drug tourists.

  • @stevenhoheneder984
    @stevenhoheneder984 Před 4 lety

    Sledding 69? That can't be taken wrong, hehe

  • @alalducente
    @alalducente Před 6 lety +3

    the prison is in Cebu. where Im from

  • @iamnormal8648
    @iamnormal8648 Před rokem

    4:09 Is that Don Draper?

  • @jacobzaranyika9334
    @jacobzaranyika9334 Před 3 lety

    It’s you that is obsessed with all things Canadian

  • @CockatooDude
    @CockatooDude Před 5 lety

    I think it would be better if online retailers pestered me with feedback, because all they do now that no one wants to be pestered with feedback is to simply spy on you. But you can hardly blame them for it, how the hell are they supposed to know what we want if we don't want to give them our suggestions.

  • @dtripodi
    @dtripodi Před 6 lety +1

    7:22 I hope people got that

  • @heathcliffO_o
    @heathcliffO_o Před 5 lety +1

    How many episodes of real time was seth mcfarlane in?

  • @redwolfness
    @redwolfness Před 2 lety

    I'm pretty sure that country is Holland

  • @italianGOD86
    @italianGOD86 Před 5 lety +7

    Who is the smokin hot Asian?

  • @JerKur18
    @JerKur18 Před 5 lety

    B( o )( o )BIIIIIIIIEEES

  • @zombiegenie5089
    @zombiegenie5089 Před 5 lety +1

    U the deadpool of talk show hosts

  • @CaptainBlaine
    @CaptainBlaine Před 5 lety +2

    Lmao @ Sledding 69!

  • @Søutħsidë
    @Søutħsidë Před 4 lety

    2:26 😂 😝

  • @jamesmackinnon7727
    @jamesmackinnon7727 Před 3 lety

    At 6:32 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @adinicic4259
    @adinicic4259 Před 6 lety +3

    Hold up!!!!. SE Cupp is an atheist? Now I find her hotter and will ignore the Republican allegiance.

  • @MrExEssex
    @MrExEssex Před 5 lety +3

    5:28 I want to encourage religious leaders who are watching this (and I assume there are many) to pause here and take a long, good look at the man on the left. See how long it takes you to realize that he looks totally and utterly ludicrous, as do you when you dress up. PS: The same goes for military leaders and others in ceremonial garb.

  • @Sold.Out.For.Freeee
    @Sold.Out.For.Freeee Před 3 lety

    Savage

  • @jacobzaranyika9334
    @jacobzaranyika9334 Před 3 lety

    I get it

  • @gailcbull
    @gailcbull Před 5 lety +1

    But tattooing long text on your body helps weed out the guys who haven't read anything but porn titles in years. It's an IQ test every guy has to pass before you'll sleep with him. Sort of like the sexual equivalent of the "you must be taller than this line to ride" sign at amusement parks.

  • @chrissiebawn9357
    @chrissiebawn9357 Před 3 lety

    NEW RULE!
    😀😀😀🤣🤣🤣🖖💙🇨🇦🇺🇸🌍💥

  • @christiancoates6505
    @christiancoates6505 Před 6 lety

    I didn't see Seth MacFarlane.

  • @trumpjonguno6994
    @trumpjonguno6994 Před 5 lety

    I thought bill was 'jesus' while i watched this vid 😂

  • @margueritehudsell4454
    @margueritehudsell4454 Před 3 lety

    I avoid your calls.

  • @GreenEyes-gv6zj
    @GreenEyes-gv6zj Před 6 lety +1

    Crack me up

  • @trumpjonguno6994
    @trumpjonguno6994 Před 5 lety +2

    Omg, chain smoking sumatran baby....lol. 😨

  • @jeffreyphillips4182
    @jeffreyphillips4182 Před 6 lety +9

    He hates religion as much as I do 😁

  • @michamcv.1846
    @michamcv.1846 Před 4 lety

    2:34 oh which county could it be... windmills , waterkanals & it got famous for trading tulips which would make it the market heaven ... idiot.
    but at least they made it legal to do spacecookies & magic mashrooms there xD

  • @user-sb5uf8yz1d
    @user-sb5uf8yz1d Před 5 lety

    whis you list 4 social security number

  • @arnesste000
    @arnesste000 Před 3 lety

    Holland

  • @zaitschek
    @zaitschek Před 6 lety +2

    Eliot Spitzer?????

  • @gerrynightingale9045
    @gerrynightingale9045 Před 5 lety +2

    **REALLY??? 'Re-posting clips that are now old enough for a 'Driver's License' is 'new???' WTF?**

  • @marlalinn4183
    @marlalinn4183 Před rokem

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kennethrloper8249
    @kennethrloper8249 Před 4 lety

    That's where Trump got his kid from the same mother 😵😵

  • @franzkafka77
    @franzkafka77 Před 4 lety

    Yay Truth!

  • @jadeimingan184
    @jadeimingan184 Před 5 lety

    Whos the girl at 6:13 and 9:37

  • @jeffhoffman784
    @jeffhoffman784 Před 5 lety

    Haha, 3200 + likes and 234 dislikes at the time of this writing... Who are the morons not liking this? I actually know the answer to that question , they are refuc*licans...Bill Maher is one of the funniest people I've ever heard... also I think is little docu movie Religulous, is one of the best of its kind!! And it takes a lot to make me laugh, because I am so funny myself and make fun of pretty much everything in life... Which is what he does, and it's very refreshing!!

  • @amolsonawane1476
    @amolsonawane1476 Před rokem

    7:37 To all those who think he's grate.

  • @agathaderry3404
    @agathaderry3404 Před 6 lety

    wow

  • @sanjaancevska8100
    @sanjaancevska8100 Před 5 lety

    I 🕊 u

  • @EtherealAriel
    @EtherealAriel Před 6 lety +13

    Seth mcfarlane is a cutie