Woman Becomes A Man, Realizes ITS VERY DIFFICULT
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
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You gents always have good points but lose me every time when you assert that your supposedly different needs for affection from members of your own sex somehow come from an intrinsic male biology and not from cultural norms. You hugely underestimate the effects of culture on how people behave. It is easy to find a number of cultures where it is common for men to expreses themselves towards other men in ways that in the west would be considered more appropriate for females, for example hand holding, kissing on the cheek etc. At the 10:56 mark you kind of prove my point as you show a half hug/handshake as an enjoyable way to express affection towards each other which would not be enjoyable for other men brought up with different social norms. That said I enjoy your light hearted but generally well thought out commentary. Thanks !
Even in the cultures you referenced, the ways in which men show affection or love for other men is still different than the women from that culture. Meaning that the differences between men and women still exist along cultural lines, it just so happens that what those differences look like change. There are some cultures where men hold hands with men whilst walking the street, but in those very same cultures it would be scene as obscene to hug a woman casually or kiss another man on the hand as friendly greeting. All of these things may vary but what is constant is that affection between women rarely looks identical to affection between males of the same culture.
Our point isnt that cultural norms arent different in different places, our point was to refuse her idea that because men dont live like women, we are somehow starved. This is a feminist idea that centers the ideal man on how women traditionally behave rather than understanding us well.
Now if you want to argue that men in these countries are better off because they cuddle with their bros, or run down the street holding hands and skipping to love songs, have at it but the argument shouldnt be that because we arent like women, we are defective.
@@AbaNPreach the open-mindedness and well thought out reasoning that you blokes have is what i strive for.
Pin of shame lmao. Fuck that was fast
wasgood youtube
@@JohnDoe-bo5yk pin of shame shit is corny. just pinning an interesting perspective. get lost with that.
I worked in a daycare 10 years ago. I'm a black, muscled man and had an instance where the parents of a mentally challenged young girl talked with the director of the daycare about my presence teaching in the class. All of the kids loved me and behaved exceptionally well in my class, were attentive in groups during field trips, and worked diligently during our scheduled after-school time for homework. This young girl took a liking to me, and I became the only adult in the building she would listen to. All of her therapists that came to the facility for her additional needs raved with how well she developed socially when I was there, and noted it was easier to get her to adhere to activities if I gave her a “pep talk” before her sessions. All I did was instill confidence in her, and encouraged her to do her best at all times. This didn't matter to the parents. It was only until the parents realized that I was the son of the director (who was loved by everyone) that they had any change of heart about me being there. This is what it's like to be a man every day in modern society. We are supposed to be the protectors of women and children... and at the same time are looked at as criminals when it comes to women and children.
Edit: I don’t work in childcare anymore (was a brief stint). But shoutout to all the men who commented who were, or still are, in the field 💪🏾.
no it is cause you are black
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA HAAAAAAA
Now that's fucking tragic, dude. I hate to hear those parents treated you like that. No one deserves that sort of treatment, especially when it comes to children who are having mental issues. It's hard as it is to find good people who are patient enough to work with them.
Facts!
same thing happens to a friend i knew who works childcare in ireland,
heavily stigmatised, always being stared at or questioned or put down. This guy has the biggest heart and genuine love for the wellbeing of kids but nope, some people dont care
That’s crazy
It’s amazing to me that feminists keep talking about “mansplaining” yet do not see even the smallest irony in them explaining to males the male lived experience.
As someone who studied psychology, even under feminists, I find that feminists do a lot of projecting.
They can’t even grasp the pressure, reasons, and motivation to have male stoicism, so she has to call it “whiteness Eurocentric imperialism blah blah blah”!
Which is massively ignorant because you have the same stuff in areas that never got colonized. They’re also calling stoic men who aren’t white dudes “colonized”, which is asinine. We get made fun of for “man colds” because 1-3 days a year in our 20’s and 30’s, if we can’t provide we’re just being bitches. Lol
Under-rated comment.
🔥🔥🔥
Well said 🔥
Woman won’t listen to a struggle of a man but would listen from another Woman when she experienced becoming a man
Still thinking with a female brain, it didn't transition
"Why won't my nigga hug me?"
I haven't laughed this hard in years. Trademark that line, put in on a t-shirt and go to town.
this reminds me of that lesbian woman who disguised herself as a man for 2 years and was treated so badly. she developed PTSD and later took her life because it was so brutally lonely for her. and men just put up with that for our whole lives being told we are on easy mode and privileged
Norah Vincent
Yep, but I'm glad it happened to me as a man because it drove me to spirituality and now non duality. However, not everyone has decided to turn lemon into lemonade. I am with you.
She really did suffer through the hardships of life
Women are not made mentally to handle what men can handle.
I remember that
My boyfriend came off as cold, cynical and aloof the first few months of us dating. He is now, after some time, opened up to be one of the most caring and sensitive people I have ever known. The sentiment "it takes time" really rings true to men. Men are not emotionally distant...they are emotionally selective. And knowing this side of him is something I consider a privilege. It's not "toxic" it's self perseving and exclusively held for close friends. And even to this, there are levels. Just because _you_ don't see their emotions, doesn't mean that they are non existent.
I’m the same way, last night I had a “Netflix and chill” with my longest known female friend. After we did the deed I was hugging and squeezing her on the couch, snuggling up to her and laying on her chest. she said “have you always been this clingy” surprised I’m intimate as I am because in public and in surface level relationships I’m very distant and short.
This hits home hard; well articulated.
True, but like you said, selective. He chose to open up, and to a women he chose. The women part is also important :) ITs like we are built to mutually fulfill eachothers needs, can you imagine that 😂
To add onto that, just because you don't see their emotions, doesn't mean they don't know how to express them
which even as a woman, ive grown to be more emotionally selective out of self preservation so, I don't think its necessarily an unwise or "toxic" way to be. I wish the world were better so we didnt have to, but its not, so.....the person preserving themselves isnt the problem
I am a straight male and was a daycare worker and am now a male nurse. Almost every parent of the kids at some point said that they were worried about me but then realized I was really good with the kids, I always thought that was the most backhanded compliment. Most of the kids loved me and a good chunk of them didn't have any real male role models in their lives. I have to wonder what the parents asked the kids about when they brought them home. I was also hyper aware of the kids touching me or wanting to sit on my lap and I would have to tell them no because I knew how that could look. You could still see that the kids didn't understand why I couldn't hug them or physically show affection, especially when they were scared or needed reassurance. Even as a nurse I had to be hyper aware of how things looked and make sure the patient is absolutely comfortable with me and what I needed to do for care. I am aware it can take years for me to build a reputation and one off handed comment or upset patient to ruin it. I love/loved doing both jobs but it's like walking on a razors edge every shift all because I was born with something between my legs. It totally discounts who I am as a person.
just like Drizzt Do'arden a dark elf from menzo who never saw eye to eye with his evil kin, while on the surface driz came to accept the fact that dark elfs will always be looked at as evil =)
blame your counterparts. the stereotype doesn’t exist for no reason.
@dreamkitty This comment actually knocked me back a bit, I had to give myself some room before instantly repling. I still dont know if I should because something tells me that no matter how well I present a counterargument to your comment, it wouldn't change your mind. With people like you, i dont think it's shocking men are choosing not to get married or have families. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone who believed that just because of my gender I would attack a woman or child. How could any man want to have a child with you when they know you think that way about them? If you had a boy, what would they grow up thinking about themselves with you as a mother. I've heard tons of news stories of women abusing children, but i guess it only matters when a man does it? I am not going to blame my counterparts because I know a lot of male nurses/doctors/teachers who take their jobs seriously and are amazing people who would never hurt someone.
I’m a para professional and I work alongside the classroom teacher who is a male. We work with pre k and he is also very weary about the way he handles the kids. When it comes to even fixing the girls shirts he won’t do it. He won’t do it because he doesn’t want to look like a weirdo, so he sends them off to me. It’s very sad, especially when you take into account the fact that women are just as capable of being disgusting human beings.
@@ericwilliams2546 some men don’t deserve families and for a woman to go through pregnancy for them. so that’s okay.
It's crazy that their conclusion is never just, "I'm just going to treat men like human beings and stand up for them when other women treat them like shit." There's always this societal/cultural breakdown that needs to happen. I think they want to make it such a grandiose problem that way they can just say, "it's too big of a problem for ME to fix" and then they have no accountability on a personal level.
a woman being accountable? 😄😄😄😄😄😄. oh that's so funny. taking responsiblity for her actions. 😄😄😄😄😄😄. this is the funniest post i've read all day.
@@longnamenocansayy a man can dream.
Yea, its crazy and this type of thinking has infiltrated every part of the female psyche. On one of these youtube dating shows, all of the women were talking shit about a guy for having a beard, and there happened to be one sane woman that called them all out by saying "are you sure you girls like men?".
There has been this huge swing in society where men are now treated like slaves who only exist to give women money. A majority of women don't feel attracted to men anymore, they are only momentarily attracted to the money and power that a man could give them, which is why women are so willing to get a divorce.
That comes back around to your point. All women have to do is treat men like a human being and stand up for them as an equal, but instead women don't care about men anymore. Its because this whole time feminism has been painting this false narrative that being a man is like winning the lottery. Society brainwashes women into thinking that being a man is so much better than being a woman, they are so jealous of men because they are only thinking about the top 0.1% of men that run the government or own businesses. They don't care about the other billion men that exist in the world, and the fucked up part is that these men are only getting more deranged because of the lack of female attention. Its why people like Andrew Tate became so popular because the men are just trying to find a way to exist in this lopsided world, so men have resorted to trying to hack the system by doing what women like and acting like assholes and flaunting their "power" and money.
Honestly I didn't not expect this turn of events after all of the popular romantic movies in the 90s and early 2000s, where the moral of the story was that nothing is more important than love. Women somehow saw that and said "fuck that, I want money".
She literally said she is going to hold herself accountable for how she might be upholding oppressive gender norms against men.
You can try to break down harmful societal structures (isn't it better to make things better for everyone?), while also doing what you can as an individual.
It's not an either or situation,
Part of it is because they are neo-Marxists who hate society and want to completely change it.
The irony of feminists crying about "mansplaining" only to turn around and have a woman "become a man", and try to enlighten all men on their social dynamics as a gender, based on her perspective, is baffling.
Women are delusional
Exactly, and as a cis woman, I’ve never really had a real genuine close emotional friendship with another woman. While some of my friendships were great, I experienced mostly hostility, and have been ridiculed and backstabbed.
Agreed! And transwomen saying they understand what its like to be a woman/grow up as a woman. No, you did not have that experience so you dont know
That’s womsplaining right ?
@@PlushNVelvet It's also not true that men don't have deep bonds with eachother, I'd argue it's stronger than the one women have it's just different, like the "I'd murder for you" kind of friend. I know some female friendships are also like that, but mostly it just seems superficial.
Her vid is a great way to show how trying to be empathetic and understanding can come off as patronizing and ignorant.
She really even claimed that Woman were the majority of victims of Murder aswell, surprised nobody caught that part
@@almightylambo9540 I didn't even catch that, nice find.
These people are almost as pathetic as aba, who admits to watch anime as a grown man. Yikes !
Great way to show that empathy informs you in no fucking way about how to solve an issue. It may even give you the impression that something needs to change when it can't and maybe shouldn't because the change could produce worst results than the natural status or the status quo.
These people just believe that everything bad is caused by society. That in it's natural state, the human being is just all happy and cooperating and wars don't happen and people all cooperate and live happily.
Those people have never been in r/natureismetal
Nature is an awful place to be in and the last thing it produces is non-violent equal creatures.
@@almightylambo9540 majority of victims of murder (who matter)
I used to be a trans man before realizing i made a dumb mistake and the underlying, like the ACTUAL trigger of why i went down that path was due to a trauma when i was 11 years old. I try to see this as an experience And boy it is NOT easy. In fact i am confident that men have it harder in many ways. Sure women have problems too but in different areas. Overall we are treated with much kindness, get so much love and immediate protection as well as attention when something happened and were to happen to us in daily life. Men on the other hand are left alone with that and have to literally „suck it up“ like i FELT that pressure every day. Men also have to act a certain way 24/7 so they are not deemed as creepy, predatory or gay. By all means, this experience only started at 16 years of age, when i was on hormones and perceived as a male by society. I did NOT go through male childhood and the process from being a boy to being a man. So this might be normal for men and i felt so strongly about this cause i realized im not built for this. As im not a man and have never been.
It's cool. You still look like a man.
I think this whole homophobia thing is honestly fake. With a lot of my male friends, the closer we are the gayer the shit they say, but you can even say / do really gay shit without people thinking you are gay. My bro bends down to pick up a quarter he found on the ground. I might say, "damn when yo ass get so big". You can say / do incredibly gay shit without anyone thinking you are gay, and something this overtly gay even works with almost completely random dudes. Its about the other 99% of the time that you might be doing gay shit that then people gonna be like damn he gay. Its really about vibes, you got gay vibes or you don't. I've met and am friends with gay people who act less gay than some other people I know. I think when men say gay what we really mean is that you act like a woman, not that you are attracted to men, although the two often go hand in hand.
Here's how the middle school / high school dynamic felt for me, which I would argue portrays the truest essence of what men and women are as its before they develop intimate relationships with the opposite sex which brings them a lot closer together.
At least for me, I feel like emotion drives action in men, whereas emotion garners sympathy for women.
Male: I feel like a loser, so I am gonna hit the gym to get buff. The classic I was bullied in HS now I'm ripped AF. Nerd gets called gay for liking nerdy things, becomes a school shooter, gets ripped, decides to finally fight back, etc.
In women: I feel like a loser, so I am going to call 7 of my closest friends who are all going to reinforce that I am not a loser.
I saw this shit in HS, gay dude gets made fun of for being gay, cries to his female friends, gets sympathy. The nerd that I used to make fun of and call gay, because he was also just a jackass in general too, had a fucking hit list, brought a knife to school. There was a gay dude that was popular with the guys because he didn't act like a woman no gay voice etc, and there were unpopular straight people that were constantly called gay because they were too feminine. Its the vibes.
@@garrettwill1220 imma be honest: the only real homophobia i have actually seen in real life and online, always comes from the alphabet itself. Especially since transgenderism is actually erasing gay people, convincing them they are not gay, they are actually a straight person in the wrong body. The tavistock doctors even had a joke that "soon there will be no gays left". Unless youre actually a guy fetishizing lesbian relationships or a girl fetishizing gay ones, because thats unfortunately also a thing. Just need to look at what happened to the "Her" dating app, which was supposed to be for only females...
Thank you for sharing
@@garrettwill1220this is interesting, I think it also stems to brain chemistry as well. There was a study done in Latin America about brain chemistry between men and women and it said that women’s brain are more emotional, hence more empathic/sympathetic, while men’s brain think more with their bodies, like they react to things better than women in action-based settings
I always hug the homies when we end a hangout. Our friend group has had 2 friends pass away in the last year and a half and that sparked a deeper appreciation for each other and the time we get to have as good friends. That being said, it’s reserved for the friends that knew the ones who passed. Like y’all said there’s layers to it.
Talking about men's issues is fine as long as its women and trans people and not men talking about it
Otherwise youll be called a incel loving freak.
It’s hilarious isn’t it you got a woman think she’s a man just because there is some trans in her name 😂
Irony never fails
Yeah pretty much
"If you're born with a penis and don't want to cut it off, YOU'RE WRONG SO SHUSH." -some progressive probably
The sad part is she thinks she's ACTUALLY understanding us. Couldn't be further from it.
💯
She is a child mentally. And brainwashed by society and the media. You can her the catch phases.
I was literally thinking, how can she be saying/thinking this and be a 'man'. It's as if a trans man isn't actually a man...🤔
Nah it's not sad. I'm happy that she's at least starting to consider others now.
Side note: why do women always have to have a bloody saviour complex. It's so annoying.
They think they are empathetic but could not walk a day in another's shoes.
*OPINIONATED FEMALE* plays the 🙄pretty privilege card 🙄 if she was busted looking she’d be even more rage filled. (Bottom line *HER ASS DID THIS CLIP CUS SHE WAS PRETTY AND COULD TRY TO TEAR MEN DOWN* she ain’t showing nothing but her own self hate to guys
Here's my thing:
As a man, I was never taught to be emotionally anything. I was never taught to talk about whatever bothered me. I wasn't taught about intimacy. I can never recall being sat down and explained the importance of anything. I had to learn how to be emotionless so things didn't bother me as much. I lost alot of compassion for people, society, and the world itself. It wasn't from my upbringing but the men that surrounded me as a kid. However, as a man I had to learn how to open up to certain people. Not everyone because that was often used against me. I mean did they even sit down with men to talk to them? Did they get an arrangement of men to ask what societal difficulties they face on a day to day basis? I doubt it but what do I know? I'm just some black dude in Colorado 😂
She blames bad masculinity and stoicism on White Imperialism... did she not know what her male ancestors in Japan were like and what their norms were?
Leftists don't care about facts or history. They'll blame traditional Japanese culture on white people, too.
what she is japanese hahahaha
She's clueless about "what society impressed upon me (herself) as a child...", so of course she's clueless about the norms of her Japanese male ancestors from a few generations back.
Some company repping Anna is unfairly trying to claim this video and even after an appeal, theyre doubling down by potentially giving us a strike.
We're still putting out the video but if its gone in coming days, ya know why.
Sus companies
Time to take down that company for Abusing the strikes on CZcams?
Y’all need to lawyer up. Don’t put up with it
Grabbing it for...reasons, then.
Society rn is at a really weird place.... 😕
Talks about "joking" about men being trash, proceeds to blame toxic "masculinity". Girl, you are definitely contributing.
Remember: whatever bad shit a woman does is actually men's fault
As twi wise men would say: "Accountability, what's that?"
@@isaura-22 I'm not black and I'm definitely not hood, but I still don't want to hug my homies, or get hugged by my homies anytime soon. Aba's use of the word "stoic" was pretty much spot on.
@@isaura-22 what?
Lack of self-awareness.
@@isaura-22 did you just call Aba and Preach hood black guys??? Forget about toxic masculinity my guy you need to unpack that racism you holding
as a man who likes to hug(in general) i only do that with people, if i know they're also comfortable with this type expressions, i agree with you guys that it often comes down to how any individual likes to express said affection on a more personal level and that we (as men) aren't broken we just do things differently
Growing up I only hugged my female friends hell one of my guy friends even joked about it calling me a player because I was the only guy that publicly showed physical affection with a good number of girls I knew so it wouldn’t be surprising to see me hug 1 girl in the morning 2 or 3 during lunch and another 2 after school ended
exactly!!!!
I adore you guys. You explain men to women in ways we've never heard before, and it's important for us to understand how men perceive the world. It serves to make us better daughters, mothers, sisters, and lovers. Thank you!
Thank you.
This shit is so frustrating. It's almost like they only care about the struggles of being a man when a trans-man is the one complaining, and simultaneously blames men for not being/handling things more like women.
Typical.
Funny, aint it? Men have to shut the fuck up but at the same time learn to open up
Exactly. this person is complaining about the way they treat 90% of guys, putting themself in that situation, and then blaming it on guys using esoteric concepts like "toxic masculinity" and "white imperialism."
This, in and of itself is emblematic of this. It only matters when it comes to THEM, when meanwhile guys have had to just learn to put up with it as reality FOR YEARS. It's selfish.
Exactly
This shouldn't come as a surprise. They don't regard men as men, but as failed women and that unless their specific desire and issue is focused on, it doesn't matter. Look at how boys are treated in school and it should demonstrate how utterly fucked things are.
“Men don’t act like women, therefore garden variety homophobia”
Amazing how women can pathologize any behavior that doesn’t conform exactly to their own.
Right?! The whole story is choke full of observations followed by completely biased and self-serving conclusions.
wtf am I reading.
Feminist women, please.🙏🏾 i do not associate with these chicks.
This is what i wanted to say all along.
@@martinithechobit The facts 😆
2:12 “it’s just that we make it look easy” was probably the best thing I’ve heard in a while absolutely genius
Took my oldest daughter to the park when she was around 3 y/o. I was texting my wife about how some older girls befriended her and where taking her around the playground area to play. She texted me back, "Take pictures!" I told her there was no way in hell I, a grown man, am going to be taking pictures of little girls at the playground.
Bro fr, for women taking pictures is viewed as innocent by society. But men are immediately criminalized, even when said picture is literally our own kid and we want to save the memory of watching them grow up…. Like literally any loving parent ever.
@@emmahas2moms8038 I noticed the same thing with my kids. its like I dont exist at the playground until I point my phone.
Yup
The same with my little cousin , she is 6 years old. My uncle and aunt asked me to take care of her for one day because they had some serious administrative stuff to do in their company and the girl likes me.
Everything was fine in the morning , have fun with the guitar , doing some bakery , when everything was cooked we decided to go to a park. I sat on a bench keeping an eye on her , she was playing with other kids.
2 time in 2 hours I got interrupted by 2 angry karens ,who didn't even have kids around and one of these tile with the cops.
Like wtf. Fortunately before the one with the cops arrived I simpatized with the parents of the kids my cousin was playing with but still.
She really had no clue. Huge difference between men and women's thought processes.
Being a black male, teaching elementary music was by far the most stressful job I ever had. I simultaneously have never felt so fulfilled teaching kinder - 4th graders the ins and outs of music theory and then applying it to their lives. I taught kindergarteners how to confidently count and sight read 16th notes. I helped a 4th grader improve a motor delay by learning the cup song from pitch perfect, to the point the P.E. teacher asked me how I did it. Through music i reinforced the math skills of two developmentally challenged twins to the point they were top in their class for math. I was by far the favorite teacher on campus.
And in spite of all that.
I was fuckin terrified of ever being alone with a child. It was mandatory policy of mine that if I had less than 5 kids with me, doors could not be closed, or we just went outside.
The kinders LOVE hugs. And that terrified me daily. Especially on back to school night. Its awful to either have to hold them at bay and opt for a high five, or very short, deliberate side hugs.
I never had any issues, but the stress of being acutely aware of my status as a black man in an elementary setting was overwhelming at times.
And it was all because I fucking
You seem like a good dude. Props to to you
Keep up the good work chief. Those kids will remember your kindness and gentle nature, and probably pay it forward.
that feeling of instructing someone and when they finally get it is great, especially those who others have dismissed and who themselves have had their confidence go down.
There are 2 black males I personally know who were well liked by students and teachers alike. There love of teaching and helping children succeed was very evident by anyone who encountered them. However both were accused of improper acts against a student. After everything was said and done it was found both were innocent but not until their career, savings and reputation was destroyed. And for one it almost cost him his marriage. Both accusers where minor girls who were doing dirt (skipping school and disrupting class) and didn't want to get in trouble so they lied on their teachers to take the heat off of them. Even though both accusers eventually admitted to lying (one remorseful the other wasn't and only confessed because when camera evidence proved her story wasn't adding up with the timeline) neither are allowed to work with kids again. Folks complain about students not encountering a black male teacher until high school or college but this is why.
As a guitar teacher who teaches mostly young and mature adults, you have my deepest respect. It's NOT easy to hold the attention of kids so young. Heck, I typically won't accept kids younger than 10 for that reason, and prefer 13 and above. Too young and they tire me the hell out :)
Amazing, woman and men have different social customs and ways of interacting. It's more than just different hormones and genitals. It really is a different world. We deal with needs differently and support one another differently.
Society needs to stop putting people in boxes and let us be ok with not approaching things as if we're all robots. Our identities are complex and nuanced.
Thanks for sharing gentlemen!
Thank you for mentioning lived experiences. I feel like this isn't something a lot of society wants to hear, and ya'll said it succinctly and respectfully. Basic decency and respect makes me treat people how they want to be treated, whether that's male, female, whatever. But that doesn't translate to completely ignoring differences. Don't judge people based on it, don't think we're better or superior, but don't disservice ourselves and everyone around us by pretending differences don't or shouldn't exist. We can embrace aspects we're weak in that others are strong in. Cooperation and adaptation without pure conformity is one of the greatest strengths of humanity.
I used to work at a daycare and I had an experience where one of the mothers tried to say I touched her daughter. She said her 2 y/o daughter said I touched her. I was suspended from work and the women wanted to press charges. I hired a lawyer and while in court it came out that the woman's bf was molesting her daughter. My entire life wouldve been ruined all bc of the perception of men as daycare workers.
Have you filed charges against that woman? Women like her need to feel the pain men endure when they're being falsely accused. No excuses for females like her.
@@MrFreeman0179 in that case I would say it depends. If the woman knew that her boyfriend was touching her daughter, 100% send her to jail, but if it was just a mother worried that something happened to her daughter and it turned out to be the boyfriend. Send just the boyfriend to jail
wow! That's horrible!
@@MrFreeman0179 and she’s a bad mother, cuz a lot of women will literally look the other way because they love the man more than they love themselves. My heart goes out to any women or men in domestically abusive environments too. A mother’s highest power and morality is understanding it’s not just her life though.
@kiki and yet plenty of women do the same thing, so what’s your point? You can’t assume all men are murderers because it’s more likely for a man to be one. Or maybe you can and you’re just that stupid
Also Anna still doesn't get it. You missed the part where she said "Like, yes women are overwhelmingly the majority of victims when it comes to sexual assault-" Yes, correct.
"-and murder." No, incorrect. The vast majority of victims of murder are men.
If you want to go further with this:
Majority of homeless are men.
Majority of prison inmates are men.
Majority of homicide victims are men.
Majority of victims of violent crime are men.
Majority of high school dropouts are men.
Majority of suicides are men.
Majority of workplace injuries are men.
Majority of trauma victims (except for sexual trauma) are men.
Nice that she and Zan overlooked this, and just focused on "friends".
It still looks bad because the majority of the perpetrators are also men.
This! I'm shocked the guys didn't catch that bullshit.
I actually don't think that the first one is necessarily true either given the modern definition of sexual assault.
Men don't report sexual crimes because they don't fear for their lives. Women are the majority of reported sexual crimes.
If you wanna count the prison system then technically men are majority of sexual assault victims.
I honestly don't even think the first one is true (in the west at least). There's so many stories guys tell where they try to tell a funny story but it really was about them getting sexually assaulted. Just saw this happen today on r/Askmen.
From my perspective, I imagine being a man is substantially more difficult than being a woman but it has some serious perks, the main advantage is the fact that men usually have the ability to keep themselves safe. I think the main advantage with being a woman is that if you are attractive you literally have an endless amount of options.
Many women don't like the attention from most men.
It’s called a gun and we are not safe, men are murdered three times more often, plus we die working way more often. We are more disposable, not safe. You can carry children and breast feed, thus your survival is objectively the priority. You need to be more cautious and should be, because our species ends with you.
Not all men have the advantage to keep themselves safe. Even if you are capable of fighting people will jump you and steal your stuff anyways (same thing for bullying).
@@keshi5541 if you'll read my comment, I specified "usually" which makes room for exceptions. Exception to the rule doesn't make the generalization. Also, being "jumped and having your stuff stole" isn't the kind of safety I'm referring to. SA is a big issue for women, something we always have to be aware of. Where we walk what time we are walking there, how we are dressed, etc. Most men don't have to worry about being SA'd and then blamed for it because they were dressed like they brought it on themselves.
That's why I wouldn't say it's substantially more difficult. There's tragedy in both fearing for your life, and having your life be something to be feared. Making it a pissing contest as to which is worse does nothing to help, all it does is dismiss the experiences of SA survivors or neglected men as "mattering less". It's emotionally difficult living a man's life, but I would never say it's more or less so than living a woman's
I hate the "men don't cry" stereotype. Men don't cry in front of you.
I had friends, good friends cry in front of me, and come to me for comfort. I do not think any less of them, not even subconsciously. The reason we don't cry in front of not as close friends as easily is cause it takes someone understanding us really well for that to not be a huge risk.
I mean, it's also true that men cry less. Biologically. Men's tear ducts are larger. Tears have prolactin, a protein most commonly associated with milk production; unsurprisingly, women have more prolactin. Women who go on FtM hormone therapy often report that it's physically more difficult to cry as often or as therapeutically as they used to be able to.
I find I can break down in front of good guy friends. But I've lost it once in front female friend and lost that friend.
Men don't need "the same amount of emotional support" as women. We need "different" emotional support.
Don't follow the Golden Rule as it's taught in school. Treat people how they need to be treated, not how you want to be treated.
just follow the bible and treat others as you want to be treated, that's what I do, if someone is nice to me I'm nice back,if they are not, I'm not
ok enough of this gendered bs. just treat people with the emotional support they need. not all men or women are going to be the same because people are different.
We need emotional support FROM women. But they don’t give it to us anymore.
@@gamergirl5317 That wouldn't work because you're not me, you have different needs than I do as is the next person. You would exactly treat young twenty-something the same way as you would a pregnant woman or an old man.
Imagine needing to transition genders just to realize that 50% of the world population don't just have the red carpet rolled out for them.
49% feel insulted they don't get the red carpet rolled out for them
49% make the carpet for others, not themselves
2% Will not let go of the carpet
We aint even 50% of the worlds population.
@@thegreatsociety2734 We would be, if women did their fair share of dangerous work.
A classic women moment
Nobody has the red carpet rolled out for them, except those born to rich families; and even then, being born a rich male or rich female comes with certain disadvantages, which us poor peasants scoff at, but they're definitely there.
Sending hugs out to all of you men (and everyone)!
I hung out with men all my life .I found men bonded and showed emtional connection by teasing and mocking each other .Its just the way they are .
Most men have long acknowledged that they don't really understand women. And most women have always assumed they do understand men and what's wrong with them. And this is essentially just that same old sentiment again.
The reason "men don't understand women" is because they don't take the environment women grew up in into consideration. If one is hedged about with restrictions from day one, then one is going to make as much of what one has to work with, as possible. If one is kept locked up inside four walls, kept ignorant and uneducated, only allowed out under restrictive conditions, and never allowed into the 'real" world, then there isn't going to be much for "men" and "women" to understand about each other. Women have only technically been "free" for about 120 years, before that, they were, by and large, restricted to the home, and only prostitutes had anything resembling 'freedom". So, we women are still 'working things out" and it may be, that men and women may yet come to a better understanding of the dynamics of "gender".
Women: "I don't need to change, they need to change, and we'll change them. "
The boys:😂😂
I didn't used to hate women, then I started dating.
Seriously if a woman is talking about men, she doesn't know what the fuck she is talking about. They can and will never empathize with us.
@@thegooddinggleberry Nah, this is a situation than MEN THEMSELVES have to change. They are getting a taste of their own medicine now, it's called K-A-R-M-A.
I understand women. It wasn't an easy process, but I know exactly what's going through their silly heads, and why.
It's almost like this would never come into question if people just accepted that men and women aren't the same.
what a foreign and alien concept you have there, feminists will definitely be reasonable an accept this idea
They accept that we aren't the same. But only when it's about women suffering and having it soooo much harder than men.
We aren't the same, but we are equal.
@@pandaman1331 my ex told me pne of the things that turned her off was when ONCE, i in a moment of weakness confined in her I dared complain, since were not living together, about my then current situation, I was taking care of my mentally deficient uncle, and I had a cold while also having to take care of him and not give it to him, I was the only one in the family dong it so my own mental fortitude was weening, talking to her and hearing about her mundane problem when we met was for me a breath of fresh air at the time, so I dared to complain about my home life, at the time she seemed ok with hearing about it, but I was wrong.
What I'm getting at is this, other then your mom or sister, don't brake down in front of any woman you want in a romantic sense.
@@danthewatcher9681 Not even my sisters care. When I was dealing with a possible job loss during the first Corona lockdown she literally told me she doesn't care because wether she would fit in her desired dress at her upcoming wedding was more important.
Adding onto the part about men in daycare/afterschool care and teaching: I am both a before and after employee, and a teacher. There was a situation in the first position in which one of our girls was low-key having an episode. She just had a really crappy day, and she tried to run from the room. We aren't allowed to let the children roam the school halls for obvious reasons, so I went to go after her to calm her down and get her to come back. My female coworker immediately shut me down citing because I'm a male, and went after her. The irony is I was near the door while she was at the other end of the classroom dealing with something else, so this sent the message that that child wasn't as important as this child(because we all know children are usually more self revolving. Our logic will say emergency. A child's may say Idc). At the teaching position I guess I was a little too nice to my kids, I don't know. The principal asked me to put distance between me and the kids, and even said it's unfortunately because I'm a guy. She even said that she could be close to the kids because she's a woman. Which felt slightly sexist but ok. There definitely is a stigma against men working with children vs women working with children. As if only men can be predators or something.
Also, I don't agree with us supposedly being depraved or whatever, but I do hug it out with my bois. "Yo bro, I love your b**ch**s." And then hug like two dumb apes or something. But before I met them, I didn't feel like something like that was missing. And I felt like you guys hit the nail right on the head. Ok, they are a man now, or whatever. They get to experience some of the things we do now. SOME. But like you said, their trans man is not the same as our cis man. We GREW up with so many other experiences that they did not, so you can't say it's the same. It's good to hear that pointed out. Doesn't mean they won't be or don't deserve to be respected. But to pretend they are exactly the same is like ignoring all our experiences unique to being male from birth.
Or like when they don’t transition as FULLY. Some people you can tell they’re trans, so they don’t experience the same thing as being a cis man because they’re treated like a trans man. This only applies to the ones who transition well as well
The most annoying part about that video is that the people who made it don’t believe there’s a biological basis to men and women’s emotions and thoughts. They all chalked it up to being socially imprinted on people at a young age. It’s so stupid and arrogant to think you can just change that, and they just assume they could if they tried.
Honestly so sick of women constantly saying "you'll never understand the hardships we face" while simultaneously being like "heres a bullet point list of why men are living their lives wrong."
Having close intimate friendships is a female privilege? Jfc what facepalm ignorance that is.
I would consider myself a "masculine" man. I love guns, i drive a truck, i work in an all-male blue collar environment, i live in a very red state.... and i ABSOLUTELY have close male friends that ive had MANY deep and emotional conversations with. Life, love, deepest fears, emotional struggles....
The "manliest" of men will usually have a couple people in their lives that they get deep with.
We just dont do it as often as women do, because the majority of us dont NEED it as often.
This transman is simply going through an adjustment period of realizing the differences between men and women. The problem is their ideology doesnt allow them to accept those differences exist, so they have to come up with explanations (emotional starvation due to western imperialism) that connect their new reality with their pre-existing beliefs.
Spot on, guys only have one or two close friends, everyone else is ok but they're an acquaintance.
i have the following:
soulbrother
brothers
friends
acquaintances
casual acquaintances
unfortunately, my soulbrother was murdered 7 years ago (shot in the back, and left to bleed out in agony), and it's still got me seriously messed up. i don't think i will ever recover from that horrible event and the loss.
Feminists are funny. They think every man "has it easy." Yeah, OK. That's why male suicide is higher, our chance of being homeless, our chance of mental illness, our chance of dying sooner and so forth. Clearly, we walk around with our balls in wheelbarrows because life is so damn good for being a male.
Well said.
I'm a woman, and was walking a few metres behind a lady for a bit because we happened to be walking in the same direction. Eventually she stopped and swung around glaring and the second she saw that I was also a woman she looked awkward and was like "...Oh, hi" and then carried on walking. 100% sure if I was a dude she would have been screaming at me / accused me of stalking or some shit when all I was doing was minding my own business trying to get home xD
I had the cops called on me for complimenting a woman's perfume, I had to beg people in the elevator to stick around and explain to the fuzz that I merely said, "Is that lavender, it smells so good?" Even some other women were shocked at the lady's behavior.
@@genefogarty5395 I would be so shocked if I see that
A lot of people out there have sadly been led by these narcissistic self important media influencers into thinking that they are in some way more important than they are. It's also a good way to make an otherwise dull life more dramatic. This may well stem from the lack of attention this person gets from men possibly due to her behaviour, perhaps a recent break up may play a part and she's just looking to blame etc. Or she's just a nasty person. Pure speculation really. Now some may think that she has had a bad experience and it could've been a potential reaction to that. But I would argue that actual victims of these kinds of things quite often would seek to avoid any confrontation with it and merely try to escape. So its highly likely that this particular female either just had a bad day or break up, or was one of the ever growing number of entitled so and so's blindly following the narcissistic narrative fueled by 'likes' on internet platforms.
Best to cross to the opposite side of the road, walk really fast, then cross back over when you're about 50m ahead.
Same applies if we're walking behind another man at night, guy might think he's about to get mugged.
Even walking is risky.
welcome to our world.
I’m so tired of this accountability shit, they delude themselves to think they are making the world a better place and promise everyone they view things unbiased, and like she said, make “jokes” about guys and THEN reflect on how it affects them. We all have privilege, that privilege will change over time, don’t take “accountability” accept that everyone has to go through a different path in life, attempting to change that in any way is persecution, it’s just that they ignore this fact if the target is men, and often times cis white men due to the inflated perceived privilege they get. “Oh your father worked extremely hard to provide for you and give you the best possible chance at succeeding in your life, if you’re white its nepotism” ironically, the further you get from cis white the more “empowering” it becomes “your father got you a job? Oh you’re a black woman? That’s so great for you! Slay!”
The genuine hand shake between close friends is like whatever sh!t you're going through, you got it. And if you need me, I'm there. The "remember this" handshake is so true. It's a "Remember this? that's why I got you." Usually that's all we need, otherwise we know we got someone to go to.
Read Self Made Man by Norah Vincent. She was a lesbian, hardcore feminist, who did a social experiment, masqueraded as a man for months, joined a bowling team, became a car salesman, went to a strip club, tried asking girls on dates, to see what the male experience is like. She set out to prove how toxic the whole thing is, and how easy guys have it, and found out the EXACT opposite of what she expected.
Sadly, she committed suicide recently.
Sad. But what did she expect would happen.
@@larrycoleman9513 I'm not 100% sure, it's been a long time since I read the book, but I remember that she thought she might be ostracized at the bowling team because 1. she sucked at bowling, and 2. she was more effeminate than the other guys (obviously). But in actuality what she found was 100% acceptance.
It's quite a good read and she did a lot to prep for the role, weight training to build up shoulder muscle mass, voice training to talk more like a guy, and makeup to get stubble etc.
The stress of her experience made her want to self-delete. Her time as a psych patient led to another book. She continued to have problems with depression.
Her writing in Self Made Man showed that regardless of her opinions, she was always open-minded. She upset her community with that book, her views on transsexuals, and some of her politics.
She expected to see all the men privilege
Reminds me of the scene at the end of the movie The Crow when Eric draven touches the bosses head & says "I have something to give you,I don't want it anymore,40hrs of pain all at once all for you".She went through just a small portion of what we're born into & have learned to live with all at once.
"It's just that we make it look easy" - Preach explained the reason for this whole inequality debate so beautifully there.
no
@@WafflePancakes1314 bitch, if you don't GTFO...
Nah, it’s just that because us men are often more stoic and emotionally controlled we don’t really display our suffering unless it’s with close friends or family. So because it’s not out in public women just assume it’s not really there I guess.
@@dogetaxes8893 I'd like to add for anyone else reading that a lot of guys may appear emotionally controlled because we get CHECKED if we're not by other guys. I used to work in a crazy kitchen. Everyone got checked if they threw a fit, had an unnecessary outburst. On the flip side, I remember there was a guy going through a rough divorce and one of the male cooks told him to take his break early. Nobody ever asked why, nobody needed to explain anything. He wasn't shooed out of the kitchen for having a tear in his eye, he just needed a minute and we all stepped up for him to get that minute.
@@dogetaxes8893 thats called "making it look easy"
I've (man) had more and still have some anxiety about people being afraid of me. My mother said "Just smile and wave". And told an old lady stranger that I'm glad she's so relaxed and not scared of me she said the same thing.
I've tried it and it works fine the times the person dares to look at me.
Old people are chill there was this really cool guy when going to get boba with friends who was walking and worked for the city he cracked a joke to female co worker I cracked a joke back to him my friends were terrified. Yet he wasfunny well spoken and a happy guy who also liked to make people laugh and happy the girl co worker was embarassed but he was living his best live it was fun chatting back and forth.. though my friends was like why did you do that. You can do that!? People dont talk anymore..
"Baby queer" refers to someone relatively new to the queer community, it is the opposite of a queer elder, like those who had to live through the AIDS epidemic and fight through the stigma associated with being queer in that time (for example.) You can be in your 30's, but if you only came out recently, the community would likely refer to you as a "baby queer" and the general sentiment within the community is that "Baby queers must be protected." because the first few years after coming out are typically the hardest and come with a learning curve and is often an it-will-get-worse-before-it-gets-better scenario.
This is so true! My husband and I had this conversation with our son's kindergarten teacher. He's a man, he would have mothers openly telling him that they weren't comfortable with him teaching their children, asking why would he , as a man, want to teach young children! I think that it is so unfortunate. It's so wrong! In fact, 2 of my 5 children had male kindergarten teachers and they were the sweetest, most patient, wonderful men. They were way nicer than my female kindergarten and 1st grade teachers. They were both so mean, they made me cry! In my experience, men, in general, are more patient. They get judged too harshly. My husband is treated terribly by women in the street. He is an old fashioned man, who has manners and they treat him like a creep!
As a black male daycare owner the judgement and discrimination I dealt with for a year and a half starting my business was crazy and this was from single black mothers whites were actually a bit more accepting.
Edit:Thanks for the likes and to answer the most asked questions. My aunt,mother wanted someone to run a 4th dayacare so I opened it my name and did all the paperwork from the CDC to the health department. I also had previous childcare experience (4 years) Daycamps and other daycares I thought it be cool to be a male daycare owner outside of that.
That sucks man. has this changed for the better tho?
I feel for you but you can kinda understand why that is.
they're single because a black man, couldn't man up and just left them.
typically that's all they see, so they wouldn't trust a man (especially a black man) with their kids I guess.
@@Pallyrulez Yep
Props to you for still making it work my friend
Why were black mothers mad at you?
The problem with a trans man’s perspective on the male experience is that it’s still viewed from a female lens. They just assume that men want the same things that females want. I don’t feel the need to express my emotions all the time and having a woman tell me that I should want to express my emotions doesn’t change that. It’s not because I’m afraid or I’m toxic or any of that. It’s just not something I feel the need to do.
‘Don’t feel the need to express my emotions’ …. Cuz you don’t have any like a-duhhh!! (A dash of female lense lol)
She also fails to realize stoicism is a mating preference by women, even though she lived as a women.
I get you
It’s like people confusing rich privilege with white privilege. I’ve also seen trans men say male privilege is real, because they were confusing attractive/pretty privilege with their new male privilege.
I hardly believe in the stuff because life and philosophy all comes down to perspective and everyone’s is different.
This is one of the reasons I can't take trans people seriously most of the time. You don't "feel like a man." You have no idea what that feels like. You feel like you'd be more comfortable in a man's body.
That's why I advocate for therapy, not acceptance. They have an internal problem that prevents them from accepting how they look.
Watching her talk about men just made me realize how out of touch, over complicating and over analyzing what men are by women.
This made me also realize that women are still trying to define themselves in the meanwhile men have already figured who they are and streamlined their existence. We are who we are and we're OK with it.
I don't understand why we pretend that women and men are absolutely identical in their behaviors and thought processes. As you both have already beautifully pointed out, we, as men have completely different experiences. While we grow from childhood to adolescence and into manhood, we learn the role of a man. This role doesn't have to be negative and is tailored to a being that wants to logically and sensibly explore and solve problems.
It's as if we're ignoring the fact that we live in completely different realities. When I walk along a dark street, I might fear being killed, but I would never assume that I might be ra*** That's a completely different kind of threat. All the years and experiences in a person's life seen through two completely different lenses.
How many conversations have I already heard in which men showed FULL understanding for women? For their fears, worries, needs, desires, dreams, goals, and idiosyncrasies. At least I am personally convinced that due to my conditioning, I would be willing to die for my Girl and my family. Do women even wonder what that means? Do they ask themselves the same question, and what conclusion do they come to?
Both of you have made it very clear how much effort and thought we put into creating a safe environment for women. And yet, I am slowly getting the feeling that women hardly reciprocate this favor. At least, this is the image that the internet and television seem to paint of the archetype of a woman.
When do women empathize with our fears, worries, needs, desires, dreams, goals, and idiosyncrasies? When do they make the effort to understand what it means to grow up as a man? The burden of always having to be the proactive part seems to weigh on us heavily. but you dont care!
It almost seems as if this archetype of a woman is selfish and wants the attention to revolve almost always around the core of her own being. The focus is not "starting from them" but "moving towards them". There are so many good man in this World but they allways telling us that this is not enough.
In all these expressions and opinions by this reacting Girl, I don't read or hear an ounce of understanding for men. Not at all.
It's exhausting.
*I was a teacher for 10+ years and ALL the male teachers were CONSTANTLY under social surveillance as "potential" predators.* Which is why we ONLY open our door during official scheduled classes and NEVER allow ourselves to be "alone" with a student. Which means I can't tutor you as an individual. You can ONLY come to my GROUP study hall or office hours wherein the door is wide open and the student is NOT within arms reach (student/desk & teacher/whiteboard). I also have outright told students quote - "Don't touch me or hug me, don't confuse friendly for friendship, we are NOT friends and I don't want to hang out in any capacity on or off campus in an official or unofficial way. If you see me in public, walk away. The fact that I am REQUIRED to; as part of my contract; to supervise school events means nothing other than I want to get paid, you are a job and nothing else.".
Yup, it's cruel but that's the way it should be. God forbid a girl makes a literal joke after hugging you or holding your hand that you ''touched her butt'' you're immediately fired and put on a list. Better be careful than sorry.
@@sirnunyabuiz6529 I don't teach anymore, but NOT because of these policies. I'm an introvert and these standards are already natural for me. I never had any issue with them. I just wanted to work with adults. I got sick of ONLY working with kids.
@@DivineRedwood Fair enough.
The way it should be? Nothing about this is "a way that should be"
@@capoamaral My students loved me, but to be honest, even if I was "allowed" to be "affectionate", I wouldn't, because I don't like being touched, unless you're family. I'll hug any and all of my relatives (on special occasions), but hugging a rando kid isn't appealing to me in the slightest. It's not even about the job itself, I don't even hug my friends. My wife is the ONLY person who's allowed to be that close to me on a regular basis.
9:00 As a man myself, I can only say that we don't just hug everyone we come across. Not other men, not even women. A hug is something special for men, something you not do to everyone and all the time. Like I would hug my GF or Wife any time of the day, but other women... or men, no. Unless they are family.
This was done ages ago and the lady who became a man to prove it's easier, killed herself.
Just the other day, a girl that I'm not close to (I don't even know her name, we just say hi in passing) came up to me in the morning and asked "Can I give you a hug? Idk I feel like giving you a hug" I mean lowkey I thought it was kinda random but sweet. I was like aw sure girl! Now got me wondering what if the genders were reversed 😂
If a random girl came to me to ask for a hug, I honestly would think its a setup & be like na.
Same thing with a woman being sweet and cuddly to a person’s kid. Imagine the roles being reversed?
@@AbaNPreach Lmao that’s how you know you’ve travelled around the world
I would take it and smell really loud by her ear and just as she pushes away I’ll just look at her and walk away 😭👀😈
I'd assume she's coming on to me, but I'm also a dude so...
Society -“ real men talk about your feelings more”
-men “ what a relief, I have depression and feel like dying everyday, I just want a Break from having to work so hard to be accepted “
-Society “ awe that’s too bad ,you’ll find someone special someday”
Men-“ that’s what everyone I talk to my problems about says…, it’s always the next person that’s gonna accept me and never the one giving advice”
-Society “why are you being aggressive? “
Men- “ I’m not I’m just telling you how I feel, isn’t that the point of all this?”
Society “ wow, who hurt you?”
Men “wait, what?” You did just now
Society- “wow what a sensitive incel “
It's like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Needs some adjustments.
-Society following a feminine model: "talk about something, then make it so that we can make it about ourselves"
-Men: "not worth the effort"
-Society: PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!
Pretty on point 😅
You forgot the part where they tell you to "...go get therapy" because you publicly showed your emotions.
you removed the part where they mock you thr moment you show emotions.
In annas case - "baby queer" refers to the fact that shes newly out as bisexual and exploring her sexuality and identiy very newly :)
Some of these ways of behaving you’ve described I’ve not noticed in men. I think men sometimes behave differently depending on their surroundings. Different men with different upbringings act differently. Though sone experiences are universal among men. How women treat them is one. All men encounter the armor women put up to avoid the creepy men. This is life for men, they live with it. For the trans man, this is devastating because they never met this armor from the other side before. I can say I don’t tend to see men complimenting each other, unless it’s their shoes if they’ve got something like a pair of Jordans. And though I’m a trans woman, before I embraced that identity I found myself wishing some of the guys would have tapped me on my shoulder and asked how I was doing on the days I had my head buried into my arms.
women throw compliments like they're cheap words, you know when you dressed up a bit and your homie looks at you and goes "damn bro you looking fine " that's the most sincere and heartfelt compliment you'll ever get.
We don't talk to each other in that way , your looking at this as a woman stop
@@harleysjokeryt4347 if your bros don't act like that with you then i'm sorry for you. my point still stands.
@@barba3377Me and the people I’m around won’t really use those exact words but saying “ that’s a nice ass fit” conveys the message
@@harleysjokeryt4347The message is the same no matter the wording. Stop being a hardass
Calling another dude fine in a non satirical way is gay straightup
She comes off as trying to get sympathy rather than show empathy. Norah Vincent on the other hand really sounded like she understood it and took it to heart. Rip
One was fighting for rights and the other rode on the back of her fight.
I'm very sad about Norah Vincent. Wish she could have gotten the support she really needed.
To be fair it must be pretty traumatic to trans yourself and realize it sucks to be a "man"
she doesn't sound like it... she made it about her and the trans person! how freaking cold hearted!
Men cry, we just do it discretly we don't cry in front of people, that's not something we want to share or talk about.
I've lost my mother a couple years ago and sometimes I cry because I miss her and I have regrets about not spending enough time with her but I just can't cry in front of people who need me to be a strong role model.
I like that u guys accomodate the women u pass in the street, that is so gentlemanly and chivalrous. Love that
99% of men do. It's why you live in the world you do.
She talks about how its hard to be a man yet she still calls masculinity toxic. Thats where she can start. Let men be men and don't call us toxic for it.
She's Just a product of the New age propaganda that "progressist" wave that makes gross généralisations and tries to turn everyone against everyone, men and women against each other, races against each other etc. I'm not even shocked by those kind of People anymore. Toxic masculinity is Just some men being horrible human beings, there are always bad apples everywhere, in every gender, every community, because we're Just humans it's Just how it is, there are also horrible women, so to be fair it should be called toxic femininity, that's how they work they trigger ressentment by being unfair in their treatment of People, they victimise some and demonize others and before you know it, the People are devided and hâte each other.
"Toxic masculinity" originally points to mannerisms where men force their beliefs on manhood on other men and depreciate anyone that diverges as weak or unmanly. I think that is a real problem and should be talked about. However, it should be kept true to its original meaning and not be instrumentalized by women or by anyone for that matter to wage war on masculinity as a whole.
@@ynpavo well, I have learnt the origins of a term that is far too overused nowadays, from now on I'll Just say mysoginy, thank you for informing me on this matter. Also, as a woman I feel horrible about this instrumentalisation that triés to put all men in the same category instead of judging People individually and according to their own actions, not all women think the same, beware of noisy minorities overshadowing silent majorities.
I think "toxic masculinity" is supposed to refer to when masculinity is pushed so extreme as to become toxic.
Like being able to be courageous (taking action despite fear) may be seen as "masculine", but berating men for not being courageous could be "toxic masculinity". I guess on the flip side, expressing your emotions may be seen as "feminine", but berating a women for not expressing her emotions could be "toxic femininity".
Hugely generalising here of course, but those are the best examples I could come up with in 2 mins lol.
@@SponTen yea I think you are about right. Honestly you can simplify it even by saying, taking masculinity to the extreme will almost always be toxic or weird at the very least. Anything that has "extreme" tendencies tend to be negative in some way. That's why there is phrase "too much of a good thing, can be a bad thing."
Male hatred (and social criticism) is very obvious in America. I took my niece swimming at the YMCA and the next day the police showed up at my house. A lot of women look for ways to throw suspicion at men. I substitute taught at an elementary school and always had to watch my interactions with the kids; many who were obviously starved for male attention. I once told a class of third graders who were acting somewhat depressed that I loved all of them and several of the kids started to cry they were so happy, The rest of the day I wondered if someone would report me for child abuse. Male privilege is pretty much BS. What little privilege men get is EARNED.
When I see a news report of a teacher being inappropriate with a student, I automatically assume it's a woman. That didn't used to be the case, but it's seems to happen a lot. However, if it's a man, you better believe it's going to get 20x the news coverage.
I still try to figure out what privilege I have. No one could tell me one
The fact that people don't get arrested for falsely reporting abuse/rape is mindblowing to me.
Men have some parts in life, that are easier for them.
But so do women have different things, that are easier for them.
Both also struggle with different things.
And we all have in common, that we have advantages, disadvantages and struggles in life.
I mean 90% of all v!olent crimes are committed by men, its not becuz of social media people have developed this from experiences
I teared up when I saw an interview about a female Taiwanese aboriginal women became the first ranked Taiwanese women bodybuilder, while she was seen as the blacksheep and a rebel, in her close family of professional classical dancers. I saw in her a part of myself as the only member of my own family of successful intellectuals, my siblings and cousins of artists and financials, yet I'm the only one who's into practicing functional fitness and functional medicines on myself. Now am I being overly emotional when I say that I feel frustrated about how I see my family not taking their own health and wellness seriously over the long term, when I know there's so many healthy habits they can learn to practice in order to feel objectively better? Or do I have to identify myself as a woman to be okay to assert my honest feelings like that?
It's important to tell people you love that you care about them, but you cannot tell them how to live their lives. When you try to tell them to change, it comes off as superior-than-thou or like you're looking down on them. The best way I've managed to provoke change in others is by leading by example and remaining humble about their situation.
@@OLONOODLE my dad asked me to show him how to train, and I've modified the program and intensity to accomodate to his current fitness level, however he didn't know true grits, and his sarcopenia has advanced.
As a black man, I've literally got so nervous because I was making the woman in front of me nervous that I crossed the street. Such is life, I guess.
“How am I contributing to the toxic masculinity in that space?” She asks. Of course it couldn’t be something simple like, “How do I sometimes treat men poorly?” No, we still have to be at fault, even when we’re being sympathized with.
To have empathy with men. They have to see it through the lens of how does it effect women, because they don't see men as human beings but as utilities.
@@houseofhas9355 Y'all do know this goes both ways?! If women see men as utilities only, then men see women as objects only.
Smh. Right.
@@pennyproud1621 stop selling your sexuality then.
@@pennyproud1621 omg I’m dying from the amount for cringe and blame shifting lmaoo
Gotta love how it's "garden variety homophobia" and not people (mostly women) making every close male friendship into some weird gay relationship, rather than letting friends be friends.
They always call you gay for having close friends. Fuck them. I'd hide a body for my boys, I wouldn't pick up the tab for a woman nowadays. That's a bit exaggerated but the point is my friends actually have a sense of gratitude and reciprocity, women don't.
Women also like to pretend that the women and handful of gay men running the fashion industry since before they were born, are also all straight dudes lol!
I'd say it's both men and women. Bisexual men don't tend to do well with women because of this. However, there are many men who get offended if you say something gay to them. Not in they way Aba and Preach do it. Like actually get MAD.
Que the term "bromance." ...it can't just be us getting along and making a new homie. Finding a friend as an adult, especially as a male, is already hard enough as is. It's just unnecessary.
@@chimpwimp9407 That's not what Doomguy is talking about man, he's talking about how you can't even be more open or close to your friends out in public because if you do then there are people (mainly women) who come to the conclusion you're a couple instead of just good friends. We see this happen all the time with the shipping phenomenon in shows and movies and a couple friends and I have experienced it before while out and about.
I’m a woman who served 25 years in the Army. You know what I learnt? That’s it’s difficult to be a woman in the Army…and it’s difficult to be a MAN in the Army…but for different reasons. Let’s face it, men and women have to live with difficulties, and some of those difficulties stem from societal expectations. In general men tend to keep to themselves and “man up” about issues and problems because that is what society in general expects. As a child I remember when I, as a girl fell over a scrapped my knee it was okay to cry, but boys my age doing the same thing were admonished for crying. It’s not right, but that kind of thing happened a lot so it’s no wonder men tend not to show emotions as freely as women do. It’s not that they’re not affected, but they’ve been conditioned from an early age not to because it’s “weak and unmanly”. In the Army less was generally expected physically from women than men, even if they were doing the same job. This, imo, insults both men and women. So in conclusion it is difficult to just be a human being.
Was thinking this. Both genders have it hard. Just different sets of issues. It all boils down to just being hard to be human.
Haha I'd LOVE to get a hug from you two X D
"Bring it in guy" "Yeah We've got you" 🤣
The worst feeling i found as a guy is you are traveling home & there's a woman in front of you. She makes every turn you need to make to go home. You're like "This woman's going to think that I'm stalking her. Fuck." I just want to go home.
😂😂😂😂 bruh, I remember constantly observing the trees and sky, it’s the worst
overtake and leave from there most women are slower then men lol
True painful vibe.
Sometimes I pretend to talk on the phone and stop to let the woman get farther away from me so that she doesn't think I'm following her.
I simply say excuse me, and pass.
As a man and a father, I am concerned when I just take my OWN kids to the park. Just the perception of me alone with my own kids might give off a wrong vibe and I get the cops called on me. Let alone if I had a kid along with me that didn't call me dad.
peak cl0wn wrld
You live in a sick society. Lol. Thats your fckng problem.
I used to take my noon walks but as soon as September hits, i switch my route lol i NEVER pass by the schools. f society man!
Really? Are you canadian or american? This shit sounds very strange to me.
As a mixed race man w/dark skin w/ light skin kids I have had the cops called on me at the park, just for the safety of my daughters lol
Babyqueer sounds like the kind of stuff that puts you on a list if you Google it.
I looked up "baby queer" and it basically means she's new to muff diving.
I used to teach kids with learning disability. As a White dude, I had to go through a criminal check, while women didn't have to. I had to do it every single year. If I had little girls, there was always an assistant (always a woman) with me, but none if I had only boys. My table was always facing my boss, while my female colleagues were free to be wherever they felt comfortable.
I had kids who felt comfortable to discuss stuff with me, but I had to stop them as I feared I might get in trouble. It was emotionally draining while I was working there, as some of these kids would call me ''dad'' as I was their only father figure in their lives.
Yeah... That's sad. You apparently did a good job tho and that's what counts ! :)
We as men let this happen. We could flip the entire world upside down but are actually the most merciful of women and children
Wow.
That's very sad.... But thank you for making the effort. Even if u helped some youngsters no matter how small is good stuff.
And the kinds of norms that have socially babied women in at least Western American society, have led to so many abusive actions and ways of being getting normalized and excused! In my honest opinion American women by and large are kids. But the men are kids too in that they are drained of all social importance and jump at the slightest sign of importance or potential love interest. A lot of women go their entire lives never understanding or caring to understand the males or men around them in a way that’s not from their perspective. They’re just too afraid of them. And I could understand that, because a lot of them are worthy of fearing.
I always avoid standing behind a woman in a bus cause if there happens to be a sudden break and I happen to brush upon her, I'm paranoid that I might get accused of molestation and that shit scares me more than drunk driving.
smart man
@What is a man?🤔 sexual assault*
Today and for the first time in my life i wasn't able to avoid that and oh man i was scared as a mf a prayed so hard to allah (and im not even muslim anymore) that the bus driver won't hit us with some crazy break and I'll end up being sex molester lol
Huh?
I've noticed that a lot of guys put their hands in the air in situations where they're forced to be quite close to a woman.
16:30 I don't think women has as deep of friendships as men. Ain't no way they would have friends you could call at 2 in the morning to come bury a body in the woods, but we men take great pride in being a friend like that.
No matter how much she pressures you... NEVER share your emotions, fears or struggles with your woman. She will absolutely lose respect for you. Save it for your brothers or your Pastor.
Very true. There's a reason why men can't be upfront with women all the time.
I disagree with that, honestly communication is key all the god damn time, if your girl doesn’t like you when your vulnerable, she’s not the one bro IMO, if u think it’s not it’s ur life ig
"For most men, the first flowers they'll recieve is at their funeral."
Maybe that's because we generally don't like flowers and we haven't for a long time. That's why people don't bother
Yeah man. Give me cash instead
We dont get flowers because all these hoes is broke
I got kicked out from a 'open gym' that was a dancing/tumbling oriented gym.
I was 21 years of age, and I would say my face is 6/10 in terms of attraction. Not hideous but not attractive. I had/have your usual body builder physique. I took a gymnastics in high school for a year.
For about 5 months there were no issues. We lined up in a row, and practiced our tumbling. The youngest there was a 7 year old, and the oldest, besides me, I'm guessing was 16. They were all female.
One night, I came to practice and the tumbling gym was not open. Went a different day to check if it was a day off, and they said open gym was no longer available. I asked if I could sign up for the official tumbling and gymnastics class, and they said that there was a age limit.
Turns out 2 months later they opened the gym back up. Before I could get into the building, I was stopped by one of the secretaries, and she told me. 'You're not welcomed here anymore. The parents have said they fear for their children because you are here. Go away.'
Me, understanding how society works. I accepted it and went home. I didn't get angry, because that's been how it is my entire life.
It hasn't been all bad. I am grateful for everyday I am alive. Even though some people are rude, and inconsiderate. I know there are people out there who would happily sit down with me at a restaurant and talk for hours about stuff. That mere thought gets me through the day.
I mean, where else are you supposed to go to learn gymnastics?
Fucking word. The day I realized my male privilege was the day I went to a sea-life exhibit and got my own personal security guard following me around and keeping tabs on me. I was 22 at the time, and the first eye opening moment I had realizing I'd grown up to be a man.
@@omnissiah7247 For me it was when I realized I couldn't smile at babies without getting suspicious looks. I love trying to make babies smile or laugh, but no I can't do that anymore because I look like a threat apparently. I'll still try to make a baby at the store laugh occasionally though, because fuck off I'm not a baby predator.
@@omnissiah7247 'From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh.'
@@HaloWolf102 I actually have the opposite problem as I look very young and have a slim build. Also fairly short so I actually get treated like a juvenile typically.
This lady still has her blinkers on. Women are not the majority of murder victims, nor of other crimes.
Getting real tired of women trying to tell men what's wrong with being men, when I'm totally fine with what we are. Are there bad/broken people out there ? Yes. Is that exclusive to men ? No.
If there is toxic masculinity, it simply means there is toxic feminity. And this video is a prime example
This is women trying to shift the guilt of their own priviledged life, just as with any "social justice" issue, just guilt
Exactly. And they talk about us like we are some sort of fucking animal at a zoo lmao.
Men's higher suicide rate would beg to differ. MRAs aren't a thing for no reason. Society and gender roles are nowhere near perfect, toxic masculinity is a very real thing and so is toxic femininity.
@@Namefist11 what a lot of them do is enforce gender roles just in reverse.
man I'm so mad listening to them..but i almost died watching Dream face reveal video find out how/why *video on my channel*
By the way…. I told a dude (my building’s maintenance man) that he had a dope jacket, and I appreciate the hard work he does. He almost immediately gave me a fantastic parking space and fixed a repair I requested. I didn’t hug the dude. Women need empathy and caring. Men need ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.
The big divide is that (generally) most men must EARN acknowledgement…. But women give out empathy and caring to each other all the time for absolutely nothing. Both systems have their flaws imo.
Agree
Men need hugs too, but acknowledgement is good too 😊
women need acknowledgement too. you can’t divide on sex with this. affection, caring, acknowledgment, intimacy, purpose, support are things all people need. some need one more than the other, but fundamentally we all need these. women want to feel like they have purpose and feel appreciated for things they do. men want to feel loved and cared for, independent of what they can offer materially. these needs are universal.
@@synlionnaw
@@whatsupinspace854 yeah you're right what was i thinking. women just need someone who pays for their shit and men just need pussy. yikes.
you can go anywhere and say baby qweer and no one bats an eye but as soon i say qweer baby people got a problem
I think it's not about "wanting to cuddle with a man", but rather "wanting to cuddle, and being okay with the other person being a man". I don't have a particular need to cuddle men, but cuddling feels good in itself. I used to cuddle a lot with people of all genders, but covid kind of messed up everybody's comfort level with physical closeness.
I'm not a particularly masculine man, though, so that might be a factor(?).
My experience is that there are lots of men who have the desire to do so. For many it's a big step due to social norms, so I think it would be in fact good for men to be able to experience this without fearing ridicule. It's just like with most other things: It's good to allow/enable people to do something, but it's bad to push them "for their own good". They need to figure out what they need on their own.
I'm a doctor in the US. During medical school, I originally wanted to go into pediatrics, but during 10 weeks of pediatric clinical clerkships, I had 2 different mothers express to me that they find it strange that a guy wants to be a pediatrician, and that they would prefer a woman pediatrician for their child. It 100% had a vibe that they were questioning whether I was a pedophile or not. So I got questioned twice in 10 weeks... that's on average 10 times per year... I'll be working for 35-40 years. My mind changed, and I did not go into Peds
That would be tough to hear. I have questioned why men go into obgyn. I've asked before, and one said he liked delivering babies. I was being recommended for. Hysterectomy ar the time. I waited for a female doctor.
wow, what a world we live in, unintended consequences
Ignorant insecure cunts
Happens to obgyns too. Male nurses have it even worse.
The female pediatrician stuck something up my as when I was child that I think it traumatized me.
I had a female coworker Come up and ask me "why are guys so mean to their friends?" and I responded "tbh The greatest compliment i can give another dude is an insult bc that means i am comfortable with him" guys friendships just have another dynamic then girls i guess
Busting balls is our love language.
I use to have a coworker, we used to tease each other all the time. Great jokes back and forth. And It was amazing. Funny guy, I looked forward to him being my friend and us shooting the shit.
HR women got involved and talked to both of us. The culture of that placed change, it for depressing. because when you do hard work you need to be able to be yourself with your friends.
Women do not understand men's jokes, they are sensitive AF and should stop trying to police men's friendships.
Dan: "Hey Mike you piece of shit!"
Mike: "What the fuck do you want fucker?"
Dan: "How Is your family doing man?"
Mike: "Doing good, how's yours doing bro?"
Hand shakes / chest bump then off to doing whatever.
Change dialog as needed but there you go!
Women are so used to lying to eachother about everything that can even be misinterpreted as an insult that when they see guys doing it they might as well see aliens
Exactly shooting the shit with another dude/ coworker/friend is the best if i dont like someone im gonna be polite and distant if i have to work with them and not talk to them if we are not working together
The only time in my three decades here on earth that I've thought about "my hommies not hugging me" is when the two of you mentioned it. I know about the things I lack emotionally and I'm fairly objective about the things I could've gotten more emotionally from others to make me a more well-rounded guy, but yeah, even after all that self-introspection, this never even crossed my mind once.
As someone who has looked into stoic teachings, let me say.
The main teaching is that you, as a stoic, are to accept things as they are, change things that you can. Usually that is limited to yourself, sometimes I can change the environment, i.e. light a candle, but usually it is just accepting the darkness and going to sleep. 😼😸
Most of these women will never get it until they have sons and women treat their sons the way they’ve always treated men. It’s comes full circle eventually.
That seems to be the only time women truly understand and can relate to these situations.
@@ishidacoolp even then not all of them will side with there son
Too bad many of them lack the computational abilities and empathy to actually view anything outside their limited perspective
@@ohdahngboi_2237 word
@@ishidacoolp Because now they have skin in the game, obviously there are men who do horrible things to women. The majority though are raised to not only treat women right but to actually pay extra special attention to girls, starting by saying to young boys that they can never hit a girl even if she hits him. And then move on from how there on how to treat women best as they grow and their interest in girls changes. Girls are not raised on how to treat boys except that they should be on the look out for the bad ones. So the first time women learn how to actually treat boys is when they have them.
Bruh this shit gets to me. I was at a bar by myself one night drinking by myself, trying to build confidence because I was dealing with drug abuse problems and hadn't been out in like a month. Given, I already am pretty insecure about being by myself at a bar but then some white knight comes up to me telling me I'm making a group of girls uncomfortable even though I had been dancing by myself. He alerts the bouncer and then I get kicked out over nothing. Talk about making someone feel even more shitty about themselves for no reason
I understand how that must make you feel. That does sounds messed up. Is there a chance that maybe the bouncer kicked you out because they thought you were drunk though? Clubs/bars usually don't want heavily intoxicated people there as that can lead to unwanted problems such as fights. It doesn't sound like you were bothering anyone though. Or maybe those girls were afraid of you for no reason and labeled you"creepy" without any reason. I'm a nice guy and treat people with respect and well liked. But sometimes I get called creepy or angry by people that don't know me well. Because I am an overly serious person that doesn't smile a lot. Just like in my case. It might just be the perception of people.
Dancing naked in a club with your nuts hanging out is not allowed though
Keep your head up brother 🙌
Sorry to hear this bro.
damn I am sorry man.
I'd say I feel a lack of physical affection from my guy friends - sometimes. But honestly, sometimes not. Like Aba and Preach said, times are changing, and I can see the changes going towards the better even as I get older within my own generation.
Hugging between men is a cultural thing and always will be, and some cultures promote it (the strong bro-hug in the Balkans as a form of accepting one as a brother), and some don't (maybe culturally hugging has been developed as a special kind of greeting, comfort, or maybe just a parental thing).
what scares me about daycares is... how many good men are being turned away over prejudice? and how many disgusting women manage to get closer to kids because they are perceived superficially as "safe" ?
I have a story about that in fact. When I was a little kid, one of our kindergarden teacher commited suicide. Because, even though he never did anything, not 2 days into the beginning of the schoolyear, accusations of pedophilia were flying, and he was preemptively fired from the school. 2 days after starting his career. A week later he hanged himself.
The absolutely fucked thing about this is women are much more likely to abuse children.
its when you realise more women abuse children but people are only focused on physical sexual abuse, a woman can mentally and verbally abuse a child and no one bats an eye
@@user-op6kt8pg9y women actually physically abuse children more than men, by a lot. It's wild.
@@chenoir god that's so sad
“DiSmAnTLe oLd SyStEmS” the audacity of people who lived less than 30 years on this earth thinking that life before THEM and the thousands of years prior are to be simply disregarded. The ego is undefeated LMAO
Omg so true. I kept thinking that the whole time. Just because it’s old and you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it should be dismantled. Chestertons fence
Yes, but you know one trans person has written in with their personal experience so I guess we have all the proof we need to declare the need for a wholesale dismantling of the ‘system’
It's absolutely delusional to throw away a constant without understanding it first, and propose a solution you DO understand, as if what you understand is better than the item you already had. For that reason, an overfed ego only promises reward if you prove your understanding to be right, which would allow you to stay the same, viewing yourself as ultimately good and ideal instead of as an evil and resentful coward unwilling to conquer or die by the unknown.
It's not egotistical to suggest old systems are faulty. It's bad to just dismiss them entirely but not bad to see errors in old systems. Systems that worked didn't work because they were good, they worked because people grew into that system. It was reality to them. As a man I won't say the old system was great. But Imma keep my mouth shut cuz what's the alternative? Worse is to suggest a system is bad and offer a better one like you're on a moral high ground. That's egotistical. But to suggest old systems may not have been the best isn't bad especially when these thousands of years prior was a lot of suffering for certain demographics.
I can totally agree on there being a biological basis to how men and women generally tend to interact with one another. As a trans man on testosterone, and as someone who has talked ro other trans people on hrt, and did a little bit of my own research on this, I've found that people with estrogen-dominant hormone profiles tend to feel their emotions more strongly. I struggled with anxiety before hrt, but after starting testosterone, the overwhelming majority of my anxiety-relayed issues just... went away. My emotions were just too overwhelming for me at the time. Granted, testosterone was also causing physical changes that made me feel more comfortable in my own skin, but know that that transfeminine people on estrogen become more emotional once estrogen starts to change their bodies. They even get their own PMS, complete with menstrual Cramps and moodswings.
Wow! That really opened my eyes. I've never really watched any vids like this, somehow it's in my algorithm and I'm not sorry for that, new perspectives are necessary.
They don't wanna listen to our problems , needs , standards and they wanna tell us what we should feel and look for, and what is the male experience..... Man that is so sad
True they dont care about most men and even then its only what we can do for them. It never crosses there minds what they can do for us.
Sounds like their definition of mansplaining ironically. They don’t like shitty men so they adopt their traits and call it girls boss empowerment. This is the twilight zone
It's woman-splaining & Trans-splaining to use Woke-esk buzz words.
In a society that has predominantly been run by men for men (mainly white) and still is to a certain extent. Isn't it unfair to blame women for your struggles when the ball isn't in our court? Like the "ideal man" wasn't made up by women it was made up be men in media and then perpetuated by stereotypes and conditioning. It just seems like most of mens problems are perpetuated by other men and then blamed on women when we're just following y'alls rules and the standards yall set up for yourselves. Modern day society has fucked this up even more but, the root of the cause is y'all.
@@Lightflames85 What? I do everything I can to encourage and help my boyfriend get to college. I have a job and I am going to college and he isn't doing any of those things currently. I also care for his health since he doesn't have the best family/living situation. You're invalidating the possibility that women like me support men as much as we can. What you did was that you created a hasty fallacy/generalization that is not based on any truth.