How To Protect Yourself From Dark Persuasion Tactics

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  • čas přidán 14. 05. 2024
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    Narcissistic and manipulative behavior can wind up destroying your life, and it can be tough to spot, especially when it’s coming from someone you trust.
    So in this video you’ll learn 5 red flags that you’re being narcissistically manipulated. You can also use these as signs that you’ve slipped into narcissistic tendencies yourself, so you can cut them out before damaging your relationships.
    We’ll be using Logan Paul’s reaction to Coffeezilla calling out his cryptozoo project for examples.
    Links:
    • Ending Logan Paul's Bi...
    • Logan Paul Addresses C...
    • Video
    ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
    0:00 - Intro
    0:50 - Red Flag 1: Morphing critisism.
    2:15 - Red Flag 2: Spending more time on their feelings than yours.
    4:17 - Red Flag 3: Repeatedly insisting on having good intentions.
    5:20 - Red Flag 4: Projecting badness onto those poking at their self-image.
    6:14 - Red Flag 5: Narcissistic rage.
    7:08 - Final Point: Narcissism is not excessive self-love. It’s a lack of self-love.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    #LoganPaul #Coffeezilla #CharismaOnCommand
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Connect with us further:
    Website: www.charismaoncommand.com
    Facebook: / charismaoncommand
    Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
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Komentáře • 633

  • @no_lft_shft
    @no_lft_shft Před rokem +946

    I love how Logan Paul not only displayed every single one of these but constantly displays every single one of these.

    • @Germs0o
      @Germs0o Před rokem +25

      Yeah, I had to stop following him... did not seem like a good dude

    • @brendonbackwell9706
      @brendonbackwell9706 Před rokem +13

      Donald Trump would also have provided plenty content.

    • @no_lft_shft
      @no_lft_shft Před rokem +23

      @@brendonbackwell9706 oh boy. There's always one

    • @Vivi_9
      @Vivi_9 Před rokem +10

      @@no_lft_shft you denying Trump is a raging narcissist?

    • @delinquentpanda
      @delinquentpanda Před rokem +4

      @@Vivi_9 Low hanging fruit and would stir up more trouble than it's worth.

  • @cassietalks
    @cassietalks Před rokem +264

    Thank you! Finally someone else stating self love is the key to not being manipulated. Narcs won’t pursue a self loved confident person because you’ll fill no purpose for them and they need that narcissistic supply, it’s survival for them. Thanks again. Nice video. ✌️❤️

    • @TheEncouragementKid
      @TheEncouragementKid Před rokem +7

      woah epicly worded, i agree

    • @_lil_lil
      @_lil_lil Před rokem +4

      This is probably the best rebuttal to my internal insistence of beating myself up 24/7 ever; I'm not letting myself off the hook, I'm protecting myself from narcissistic manipulation.

  • @writeordie5452
    @writeordie5452 Před rokem +145

    How long until Logan threatens to sue Charisma on Command?

    • @youtubedick-tators1991
      @youtubedick-tators1991 Před rokem +23

      That would highlight Charisma on Command's point! Logan is a public figure so I'd like to see him sue for defamation. A narcissist would.

    • @Pete_xp
      @Pete_xp Před rokem +13

      I grew up watching Charisma on Command but their content declined over the years so of course he uses my name for clout and views -L ogan

    • @youtubedick-tators1991
      @youtubedick-tators1991 Před rokem

      @@Pete_xp If Logan said that, of course he would because he's a narcissist incapable of honest self reflection

  • @leedatsit1799
    @leedatsit1799 Před rokem +26

    Kudos for knowing narcissists actually hate themselves rather than loving themselves. This I think is why Christ said to love our neighbor AS ourselves - not more than, not less than. It helps preclude narcissistic behavior.

  • @Sishel
    @Sishel Před rokem +18

    I didn’t realize my mother is narcissistic until my early 30’s, and now I’m struggling to undo the trauma and the damage. When I finally had the courage to tell her I was not ok with how she was treating me, she exploded and said I was a terrible daughter (among many things) and hasn’t spoken to me in 6 years! She totally projected!
    I wish I had known about these red flags when I was younger. Thank you for spreading this knowledge!

    • @ao6685
      @ao6685 Před rokem +3

      I was 42. It's her loss. Focus on your peace and happiness 😊

    • @dtrillifivemilli
      @dtrillifivemilli Před rokem

      If it’s not too much to unpack for strangers, what are you doing specifically to undo the damage?

    • @alicial4857
      @alicial4857 Před rokem

      People who refuse to treat you decently don't deserve you.

  • @sedonachris5061
    @sedonachris5061 Před rokem +4

    I healed my narcissism. I was completely sucked into it all: image, social media, status, “winning”, control, manipulation, etc. It is absolutely possible to change. It took me years of deep trauma work, energy work, developing awareness, and a genuine desire to change and be a better person, no matter what you might have to give up. Now I have loving, reciprocal relationships in my life and I am very grateful for that.

  • @Agoraphoboy
    @Agoraphoboy Před rokem +36

    I like that this puts emphasis on narcissistic traits rather than "Other-ing" narcissists. People have gotten too comfortable labelling others as narcissists with zero introspection. "Oh well they're a narc so i dont need to worry about anything I've done." You can only change your own behavior, people. Even in situations you're fully in the right, it doesn't hurt to look inward and reflect.

  • @gUdLuCkKiD
    @gUdLuCkKiD Před rokem +70

    Your video a few years ago about narcassism really opened my eyes as to the type of relationship I was in. And now a few years later, I am happily divorced and focusing on my future. This one went into even more detail and shows I made the right choice. Thanks Charlie!

  • @RussellClausse
    @RussellClausse Před rokem +138

    It's terrible when you see all of these traits in those you work under. Working with a narcissistic, egoistic manager is probably the worst you can go through in a workplace!
    Massive difference between working for someone out of respect, and working for someone because you have to.

    • @Tchika
      @Tchika Před rokem +5

      seriously! Wish me luck finding a new job soon, so I can quit this one 😮‍💨

    • @RussellClausse
      @RussellClausse Před rokem +2

      @@Tchika i pray for you, its time to go! 🙏

    • @richterinbarbarasalesch3048
      @richterinbarbarasalesch3048 Před rokem +10

      I worked 4 years under one. Horrible guy, he managed to make me believe, that I'm the problem at First (with Gaslighting and weird assumptions and so on) After 1 year, I realised that he was the problem. He behaved like a little child which has to criticise someone everytime hes feeling inadequate. What a prick he was.

    • @hobosapien7735
      @hobosapien7735 Před rokem

      It is the worst thing you can have for your mental health. Narcissists depend solely on reaching a power position through fraud, and then using others as resources - through bullying, gaslighting, cutting them off from other educational sources.
      The way out is to first be informed about Narcissism and the same 3-4 core techniques they use.

    • @mr.nobody2244
      @mr.nobody2244 Před rokem +6

      You can always get a new job. Try getting a new family or mother...lmao...😅

  • @MrCarIgor
    @MrCarIgor Před rokem +634

    What I was supposed to learn: How to spot a narcissist
    What I actually learned: I'm a narcissist

    • @emil_king8237
      @emil_king8237 Před rokem +110

      Not surprising given the username.

    • @memento81
      @memento81 Před rokem +61

      This is in no way a large enough list of traits to make that assessment. If you are in serious doubt, I can recommend the CZcams Channel of Dr Ramani, who is a clinical psychologist, narcissism expert and author. There is a ton more to know about narcissism, before you could make that call. Additionally narcissists very, very rarely self-identify as such but usually will see the implication alone as a heavy insult and personal attack. That is why you are not supposed to call out narcissists when they are people who will stay in your life for a longer time (family members, partners, co-workers etc). They won't recognize their mirror image and you will only trigger narcissistic rage.

    • @infinitedurr
      @infinitedurr Před rokem +78

      Pro Tip: Don't use CZcams videos that are over simplified and vague listicles of complex psychological ideas to self diagnose. It's easy to think you're a narcissist if you watch enough of these videos. If you suspect that there's some truth to it, go see a specialist in narcissism and see what they think.

    • @diaperjoeisaped1723
      @diaperjoeisaped1723 Před rokem +9

      So did I but don't you dare tell me that!😂🤣

    • @diaperjoeisaped1723
      @diaperjoeisaped1723 Před rokem +12

      @@emil_king8237 Lol, and look who's talking!😂🤣👎👎

  • @infinitedurr
    @infinitedurr Před rokem +249

    Re: Point #4-- to be fair, _most_ people don't respond well if you start poking at their self image. Start challenging someone's motivations or view of themselves, and there's a good chance they'll feel attacked, violated, or offended. And I think that's pretty reasonable, because generally speaking, poking at someone's self image _is_ often a way that people attack other people's characters, and often a very codependent, unboundaried thing to do.
    But I agree that the projection piece is what defines a narcissistic tendency. The immediate flipping of the script is shocking, and the conviction with which they do it typically feels much more intense than whatever it is that they're responding to. It's this lack of inquiry and introspection into themselves, the complete absence of humility about their actions that really defines the narcissist's behavior

    • @voodoochile4147
      @voodoochile4147 Před rokem +33

      Re: Point 4; I totally agree that most people have a soft spot about having their self image negatively appraised, but what you’ll notice in the case of narcissistic rage (not a professional just a sadly and thoroughly over-experienced person) is that the reaction is vastly disproportionate to the action. In many cases where I’ve experienced the repercussions of poking the bear, I literally made no direct comment about the character or image of the narcissist involved. Something as benign as asking a question, which inadvertently threatens to uncover the narcissist’s true self, intent or motives (even if only to him/her/theirselves) is enough to set in motion Armageddon. You’ll be standing in the wreckage wondering wth just happened. If the person is particularly unhinged, you might be physically assaulted. Most people don’t react like this.

    • @infinitedurr
      @infinitedurr Před rokem +8

      @@voodoochile4147 Yup, well said. I'm sorry you've had to go through that up close and personal, and I know exactly what you're describing here

    • @TheRedHaze3
      @TheRedHaze3 Před rokem +2

      @@infinitedurr Keep in mind, he does say in the video that everyone displays narcissistic tendencies from time to time.

    • @TheRedHaze3
      @TheRedHaze3 Před rokem +2

      @Elizabeth Bennett Are you dense?
      That *is* poking at self-image.
      If someone says you only donate to charity for the good PR, the implication there is that you aren't a charitable person.
      If you see yourself as a charitable person, that person calling out your action is poking at your self-image.

    • @arcane1871
      @arcane1871 Před rokem

      That happens less and less the less you identify with your thoughts.

  • @sheilajac
    @sheilajac Před rokem +42

    Re the narcissistic rage - the narc(s) in my life have projected a TON of their crap onto me - took me years, or even decades to realize they were projecting everything all the time. My reaction to their projections was usually a combination of hurt, contusion, shame and then i looked inward to ask myself if those accusations were true, which they generally were not at all, so I just ignored or forgot about the claims. THEY, on the other hand, when I'd give constructive criticism re their treatment of me, or someone else (in one case, their vulnerable child) reacted with extreme hostility, even if at the time it was only a really nasty glare. The problem is when you don't recognize the projections and have no idea they are also telling others, behind your back....and you've had a long-term smear campaign being waged against you....often because of one honest ACCURATE and even gentle (aka walking on eggshells) criticism directed toward them. Their projections usually lack any of those qualities - honest, accurate or gentle. Narcs do not give constructive criticism designed to better you, they accuse, designed to shame you for their faults. Its a mind-warp.

    • @steveco1800
      @steveco1800 Před rokem +4

      Absolutely spot on. Reactive abuse and projection really screwed with my head in my last relationship, but when I wanted to talk it through I got closed off and she wouldn't talk about it. It was like being sentenced in court without a hearing.

    • @shikeridoo
      @shikeridoo Před rokem +1

      You don't go around criticising parents. That almost never goes well. You suggest, you don't criticise. You have to phrase and frame it very well to have a chance of having an effect and it mostly won't.
      You also won't teach people how to treat you differently most of the time. Think of the people that want to spend time with you but you're not really interested, would you change for them? You can't force people to like you.
      And if they react the way you say, then they're not your friends in the first place. They're acquaintances at best. Treat yourself better by selecting the people you let into your life.

    • @sheilajac
      @sheilajac Před rokem +3

      @@shikeridoo there's something very wrong (ie narcissism) with a parent who gets angry, rather than self-reflects when you gently suggest that the tone they speak to a specific child with, sounds contemptuous. More so if they then proceed to wage a character assassination. That sort of person is the kind of person who thinks their child is an extension of them and probably never should have had children. Not talking about a complete stranger giving parenting advice...talking about someone close mentioning (while walking on the eggshells they'd been trained to by this person's aggressive bs over a lifetime) a blind spot that may have negative consequences not only for the child, but the parent's relationship with the child. Yes most would be taken aback, but the difference, as i said, is the auto-reaction. Normal healthy people might be hurt, or surprised, but would have the insight to examine if it's true or not. Narcissists, respond with anger, as a trigger response, because they are contemptuous or hostile, or projecting. The same person also gets very angry if you say they have no empathy. Not once of all the invalid criticisms levelled at me by the person, did i ever get rageful. Has nothing to do with "criticizing a parent" - it's not about the parent, it's about the child. You have to be a pretty nasty human being in general to dismiss the suggestion you're contemptuous toward your own offspring and then continue to be and speak to them with contempt. That's how you destroy your own child and there's no excuse for that sort of defensiveness. None. You're talking about ego and pride, if you can't set those aside for your child's well-being, you're a malignant narcissist. If you're a nag, criticizing everything someone does in terms of how they raise their child, that's another thing entirely. But when it comes to clear emotional abuse, no.

    • @shikeridoo
      @shikeridoo Před rokem

      @@sheilajac I always put those people into the "lacks intelligence" corner, but ok, problems with narcissism it is. Why do you hang out with this person? Stop wasting your time. That could actually be a strong pointer for them to give change a chance. Leave them a written reason why you're stopping to hang with them, so they can revisit it.

    • @shikeridoo
      @shikeridoo Před rokem +1

      The again I can think of a person who shows some narcissism around me and towards other people. A very colorful personality and I hang out with them for the positive aspects of their personality and willingly overlook the negative as long as it doesn't affect me I guess. Easy advice to give, harder to follow. Things are not as black and white as I've presented them in my last post.

  • @BigDaddyDru
    @BigDaddyDru Před rokem +202

    I love how you remind us we are all humans who are imperfect, but still worthy of dignity, respect, and the benefit of the doubt. It makes the self reflection you suggest a lot easier to do. Great channel!

    • @mikasasukasa4479
      @mikasasukasa4479 Před rokem +5

      It helps us become better understanding of each other. People are so quick to write off friends/family and call them "toxic." Giving them chances for redemption should they make a mistake but knowing the difference to walk away should they do something unforgivable. I'd like to think I would want a chance for redemption should I ever make a mistake.

    • @Introvertedalpha
      @Introvertedalpha Před rokem +3

      Agreed!

    • @ivoryas1696
      @ivoryas1696 Před rokem +1

      Heavy Weights Light Feels
      I feel like a narcissistic spectrum makes a _hell_ of a lot more sense than Narc or not, tbh.

    • @ivoryas1696
      @ivoryas1696 Před rokem +1

      @@mikasasukasa4479
      Honestly.
      I don't wanna say it's disgusting, because I _know_ there are some times where it's just the right move, but it's honestly shocking how fast some people are to leave each other. I recall them finding during the Covid days that the feeling of losing a loved one to a deep conspiracy theory or pther such excommunication can feel comparable to that of a death of said love one, and some people's solution is outright "yep, gotta leave 'em".
      Again, it's not black or white, but it is kinda sad.

    • @BigDaddyDru
      @BigDaddyDru Před rokem

      @@ivoryas1696 most things in life exist on a spectrum. Reality is paradoxical.

  • @iPrecipice
    @iPrecipice Před rokem +11

    Yes. "We all engage in narcissistic behavior on occasion." This is so important to be heard in a world where self reflection is often shallow; just deep enough to serve to satisfy one's own emotional discomfort.
    I do wish to point out a consideration on the last point though, "Narcissism is not excessive self love, but a lack of self love." It's more so that Narcissism is extreme self love, just a very shallow form. It's reassurance of the self, blind to the consideration of others, except to it's relationship to the self. I know this sounds like splitting hairs, but it is one of those things where a fine distinction can make a world of difference. I know that this is just a video and so you have to keep some points general and short, but as you mentioned it is a very important point.
    I state this because you go on to mention our own lack of self-love can make us vulnerable to the narcissist. It's important to recognize that even though the love is shallow, it can still be excessive, since the more narcissistic the individual is, and the longer they've been like this, there is a good chance that they have given themselves layers of shallow love from different sources or excuses of personal validation. This is often the case because of just how insecure the individual is, and the more they need to layer this the longer they continue this way.
    It's also important to recognize it is still an excessive but shallow love, because due to this, some narcissists are a bit more crafty and can be hard to reveal, until they are in a situation were they just can't manage to hold the mask together anymore. There is always subtle signs, but for those of us who recognized that we all can share in narcissistic traits, it can sometimes be harder to discern the more covert and skilled ones.
    Anyway, that's all. As always, great video! Always love them.

  • @DieBlutigeLynn
    @DieBlutigeLynn Před rokem +6

    Thank you for shedding light on narcissistic tendencies! This is very informative and eye-opening, since I did hear from my former psychologist about narcissistic feelings that everyone has (not only people with narcissistic personality disorder), but not what these feelings and more important which behaviours these actually entail, which is very important to know in my opinion and should be talked about more to help people's lives.
    #2 spending more time on their feelings than yours when you raise a complaint I find soooo annoying and I deal really badly with it when other people do it. I am probably guilty of it myself sometimes too.

  • @YF-ey7uq
    @YF-ey7uq Před rokem +18

    I experienced bullying, verbal abuse rage , projection from the person I loved the most. The rage is real when there positive image is threatened. I did my mistakes because I kept giving chances thinking he'll change, I remember the first verbal attack left me in a very dark confused place.

    • @panama2468
      @panama2468 Před rokem +2

      It sounds like me rn. Bullying, demeaning comments, gaslighting "jokes", poking insults and projection even though I've done all I could to get them to self improve (exercising, eating better, going to school, seeking therapy, quitting smoking). But I'm the bad one. I am upfront and honest about the bad things I do, as much as I can anyway, but they can't do wrong. And tbh, I dont even care about being right. Thats the least thing I care about. Its just about doing what good for you and for others. I still have a heavy feeling in my chest since last week.... and I dont think I can fight for them this time....

    • @alicial4857
      @alicial4857 Před rokem

      @@panama2468 If you can leave them, run like hell ASAP and don't look back.

  • @MatthewRumble
    @MatthewRumble Před rokem +7

    I love how the thumbnail is so accurate

  • @thebradderlife
    @thebradderlife Před rokem +3

    This video made me feel more confident in what I thought someone’s doing to me. The break downs really helped me see how people really are being to me

  • @typicalsmile2747
    @typicalsmile2747 Před rokem +1

    Would love to see that projection video!
    Great video as always, love the current examples.

  • @sky28y2k
    @sky28y2k Před rokem +1

    great video- lots of clips put together in this. great work and thank you for putting time into this

  • @willd6215
    @willd6215 Před rokem +6

    Healthy boundaries. I found the little shaman's videos helpful in dealing with narcissistic behaviour

  • @WAdams-ps9st
    @WAdams-ps9st Před rokem +2

    Wow, this is as useful as an advice can get. Easy to understand, I literally wrote the points down. ty so much!

  • @crackwitz
    @crackwitz Před rokem +2

    wow. thanks for making this so crystal clear. he's such a perfect example.

  • @theosname
    @theosname Před rokem +4

    When I was a kid, I experienced a lot of self-loathing and low self-confidence. Retrospective analysis was my only skill at the time. So, my ego was fed from drawing correct conclusions and I would get very defensive when errors in my work were discovered as they would shatter the meager self-confidence I had for days or weeks. I would also make fun of others and push them down to prop myself up, but that was as far as I went to victimize others for my own pride.
    As I got older, I learned many new skills; some to expert levels. I'm physically stronger than most, a life veteran, and I hate to express it but I'm also a higher class in my society. My self-confidence level is no longer dependent on things I cannot control, nor damaged by other peoples' successes. I feel lucky that these things have happened for me, because without them, I might have ended up as a narcissist too.

  • @jadenxkoren
    @jadenxkoren Před rokem +2

    Love when Charlies does the videos. Spot on analysis and delivered in a clear and understandable manner.

  • @velvetfaerie
    @velvetfaerie Před rokem

    One of the best videos on this subject I've seen. I'm crying.

  • @jeanmtiger
    @jeanmtiger Před rokem +1

    A good video, as it shows not so obvious behaviours of narcissists. If someone is always directing the conversation back to themselves, it’s a sure sign.

  • @ConstantlyShadow8annedByYT

    All true except point 5. If someone's innocent and is accused of something they didn't do, or are unfairly treated in any way, rage is a normal response (especially in men). Be it revenge or seeking justice, that's just a normal human response to a perceived attack from another.
    It's great that the guys who make this channel, at the start of the video, reminded us that they are not professional Psychologists or Psychiatrists, but they are selling courses on "charisma", so... thank you for the honesty.

  • @tessarae9127
    @tessarae9127 Před rokem

    YESsS thank you for addressing the narcissism as being a manifestation of lack of self love!!!

  • @darcyofarrell4824
    @darcyofarrell4824 Před rokem +10

    Great video. I've been wondering what makes some of us easy targets for narcissists. Self-love makes a lot of sense. Easy to gaslight otherwise. Having good relationships too, hence why abusive partners seek to isolate or seek out loners in the first place. Very helpful! Thank you.

  • @scroopynoopers9824
    @scroopynoopers9824 Před rokem

    Very nuanced and informative take on narcissistic tendencies. Well done

  • @madisonlee2203
    @madisonlee2203 Před rokem +2

    This is such a good video for self reflection. Learned a ton about bad habits I have

  • @jaymonpauling4835
    @jaymonpauling4835 Před rokem

    Thank you for this I find your videos incredible useful keep up the great work

  • @fribersson
    @fribersson Před rokem +4

    I am consistently surprised at the quality of this channel’s videos on narcissism. Well done. I know it’s not your main focus, however these videos are easily (far) better than most in this niche.

  • @mrserious9619
    @mrserious9619 Před rokem

    Thank you for the video 🙏 it’s very on point and useful. Keep it up.

  • @cowboysfan782008
    @cowboysfan782008 Před rokem +23

    I'm 54 with 30+ years sales experience, which means I've dealt with just about every kind of personality, and this video is spot on. I would also say that the topic probably plays twice as big of role in the modern info age of texting, # of likes, FB friends, and anything else people get gratification from that actually holds little substance. Seeing all of the changes from the 70s to today I'd say the biggest dif today is that too many ppl today are so self involved and weak that they just won't compete if there's a threat of looking bad, but they will def have a good excuse for not.

  • @EZM7
    @EZM7 Před rokem +57

    Please do a video about projections and how to deal with those who do it as well as ourselves ❤️

    • @jaredmello
      @jaredmello Před rokem

      Done lol

    • @boxelder9167
      @boxelder9167 Před rokem +1

      I am not an expert but using the phrase, “That’s not true”, immediately after they projected onto me has been effective in stopping them in their tracks. I have stopped and asked myself this too. Is what I am saying true or am I exaggerating to take the focus away from myself? Usually we are hesitant about the next lie when the first one falls flat. Also I don’t have to explain to the other person why it’s not true because we both already know. I don’t see a benefit to giving them more words to argue about.

    • @darren4635
      @darren4635 Před rokem

      or please do a video that doesn't use famous people as a springboard.

  • @Werdxp
    @Werdxp Před rokem +21

    Great breakdown, nice to see you follow up on what you discussed on your podcast Charlie

    • @Aaron-kj8dv
      @Aaron-kj8dv Před rokem +1

      I thought Ben was running this channel, so when I saw it I was like "Oh, they must've talked about this"

  • @shak535
    @shak535 Před rokem

    This is very interesting and informative , thumbs up COC!

  • @veradragilyova3122
    @veradragilyova3122 Před rokem +81

    Thank you so much for all your clear, inspiring, and thorough videos through the years! Your channel makes the world a better place! 😁 A video on the topic of Projection defense mechanism would be great!

  • @modaenity2618
    @modaenity2618 Před rokem

    Thank you! 🙏 Yes please, a video about projection.. Because they play it very well and I find it very difficult to answer this kind of attack. It's like they are sulliing everything they touch with remarkable efficiency...

  • @GraceandWisdom
    @GraceandWisdom Před rokem

    Thank you so much for this awesome video. Makes a world of difference!!!

  • @baka030hydroid
    @baka030hydroid Před rokem

    This is a great video, and it actually confirmed my suspicions about someone close to me. Also, I would love to see a projection video later on, seeing how it's the most common tactic in the social space right next to strawman

  • @littlewickedone
    @littlewickedone Před rokem +1

    Yessss 😩 we love our weekly dose of Ben vids but charlie videos just hit different 👌👌👌

  • @asnoopy
    @asnoopy Před rokem +4

    6:41 I figured some time ago, many grandiose narcissists have eyes like those, so I find it interesting to see the same eyes in him, too.

  • @switchunboxing
    @switchunboxing Před rokem

    Well said man. One of your best videos imo

  • @LongislandnativeSanctuary

    Yes to a video on projection. Thank you!

  • @mattysheehan9786
    @mattysheehan9786 Před rokem +1

    This is super satisfying watching Logan being so easily dissected by the genius of this channel

  • @1212x_O
    @1212x_O Před rokem +29

    I think I exhibit some narcissistic tendencies but I believe I’m self-aware enough to want to change. I wanna to use this (desperation to control my image) as motivation to create self love and a productive life. I learn better when things are laid in front of me, more active when things are planned meticulously. I’m happier when I grant myself to power to be in control of my life. Why not use that to my advantage? (I have bpd lmfao)

    • @aknoologia7304
      @aknoologia7304 Před rokem +1

      Nice, good luck

    • @jmwoods190
      @jmwoods190 Před rokem +6

      That's the thing that makes you seperate from a narcissist- they aren't self-aware.

    • @1212x_O
      @1212x_O Před rokem

      @@aknoologia7304 Thank you!

    • @1212x_O
      @1212x_O Před rokem +1

      @@jmwoods190 Before seeking help that is. I watch this guy on tiktok that shares how he fights against his narcissism with therapy

    • @mroiddzhem7311
      @mroiddzhem7311 Před rokem +1

      @@jmwoods190 this is made up. NPD does not exclude self-awareness. Educate yourself.

  • @xilefx
    @xilefx Před rokem

    well done charlie. put together very well

  • @beanlandgm
    @beanlandgm Před rokem +70

    I watch these videos to learn how to hide my narcissistic tendancies

    • @watema3381
      @watema3381 Před rokem +18

      Same. I go over many topics on this channel with my therapist about coping and eventually eliminating my narcissistic tendencies

    • @chocolatesquirrel2002
      @chocolatesquirrel2002 Před rokem +23

      You should not only hide them, you should also look to getting rid of them, my mom is a narcisist at home but outside she hides it like a pro, and now me and my brother hate her and hate being around her

    • @memento81
      @memento81 Před rokem +7

      @@watema3381 hiding and eliminating are not the same. I like your approach way better.

    • @shak535
      @shak535 Před rokem

      funny

    • @mki441
      @mki441 Před rokem

      Actually you heal and then they stop

  • @sliced_bread_
    @sliced_bread_ Před rokem +10

    Im literally dealing with handling a psycho narcissistic ex as i type, this video couldn’t be more relevant. She stalks me and wont leave me alone. So thank you for helping me combat the paranoia shes given me.

    • @butcherpete8577
      @butcherpete8577 Před rokem

      mate eat a spoonful of cement and harden up

    • @sliced_bread_
      @sliced_bread_ Před rokem

      @@butcherpete8577 did you just assume how hard i am bro?

  • @zachdulin4275
    @zachdulin4275 Před rokem +1

    Would love a more in depth vid on projection, and all the different ways it shows up + examples 🙌🙌🙌

  • @vantes1053
    @vantes1053 Před rokem +3

    Thanks, this really rooted out the narcissistic person in my life. My self. Will work on my self-love from now on.

    • @alicial4857
      @alicial4857 Před rokem

      You can do it! I need to do it. Anyone else also need to work on self love?

  • @queasyweasel
    @queasyweasel Před rokem

    More about projection plz! Your videos are great :D

  • @switchunboxing
    @switchunboxing Před rokem

    Yes we need a video about projection. I need to be able to point it out. I am around too many narcissists

  • @jackburton4426
    @jackburton4426 Před rokem +3

    I think something I wouldn’t mind seeing a video on would be ‘good intentions paving the path to hell’
    I think there’s been a lot of things I’ve ignored in situations trying to do good, but completely forgetting to cut them off entirely.

  • @TK-pv4uq
    @TK-pv4uq Před rokem +2

    Heeyy, you guys are special. All the success you have received is well deserved!

  • @roselikethewine
    @roselikethewine Před rokem

    Would LOVE for you to do a separate topic on Projection!! 🙏🏼✌🏼

  • @Pntbllrfrk13
    @Pntbllrfrk13 Před rokem +2

    Solid video. A little constructive feedback, the audio editing, soundtrack, and some of the video effects are too dark and intense for something I feel should probably be geared more towards being informative and educational. For me, it made it difficult to take the information inside seriously. I get what you guys are going for, but I walked away feeling like this was sensational hit piece instead of content that I could learn something from. That said, I liked the information that you presented, it matched closely with my experience of people in my life who've exhibited these kinds of behaviors and I can certainly recognize that there have been times when I have been like that in past conflicts. Keep on keepin on, love the content, can't wait to see what you do next.

  • @sifatshams1113
    @sifatshams1113 Před rokem

    You guys picked some great hidden gems like Listen Up, Phillip in your clips. That film has one of the most narcissistic characters ever.

  • @Dancing_Alone_wRentals
    @Dancing_Alone_wRentals Před rokem +1

    I may need to look for one of these cork boards at the next yard sale.
    If they have some sort of business powers....I could use the help. tHanks for the video

  • @blahblahblah4544
    @blahblahblah4544 Před rokem +8

    I think it's important to point out that just because someone is angry doesn't mean they are a narcissist. If anyone has ever dealt with a narcissistic person, they know how irritating it can be. Narcissists will deflect, deny, ignore you side and project all the way until you get angry and yell at them to "listen to me! Hear out my side!" Then they'll annoyingly look at you weird as if you're the crazy person. 🙄 They'll be like "There's no reason to get this angry".
    I'm giving fair warning. Don't let the narc have that ammo against you. Instead of yelling at them, acknowledge and be curious about your anger. Listen to your body and self-reflect. Be like "Okay body, what are you protecting me from...ah okay. This feels like I'm being trapped into a dishonest framing. It's okay body. We're okay."
    Acknowledge and understand your anger before you express it.
    Then while it's okay to acknowledge you're side in yourself, be sure to not get to blinders on. Blinders happen when you are in fight or flight. Make sure you bravely remain a kind and considerate person. Not a door mat. But a person who can pull away if need be, but chooses to remain.
    Then when you truly understand their side and truly understand their side. You can determine what to do from there.
    One thing that diffuses heated arguments is to to treat them like the person they want to be. If they want to be a good listener, a kind and caring person and they forgot and started acting out. Then you can diffuse the situation by treating them like how they want to be. "Thank you for listening (even if they didn't) I would like to say more, if I may." This will gently remind them who they wanna be and take them out of defense mode.
    If you treat them like an enemy, they'll shell up and remain defensive.
    However there are some people who aren't interested in being a caring person. They truly are themselves above others. It's good to leave those people alone. Because that's what they'll get. Even if they develope a slave master relationship with toxic people, they still will feel alone.
    Dealing with people's narcissistic tendencies is egregious :( But it's not impossible. Most people have traumatic pasts and don't want to be this person. There's very few who are truly selfish. (depending on where you live. I'm sorry if you life is around truly selfish people. Leave. Find people who genuinely wanna be caring in their heart.)
    If I may add, it's not only self-respect that helps dealing with narcissistic tendencies. It helps to be a master over one's self. Meaning you know you're triggers and you know how to talk to yourself to calm down. You know how to treat others with respect even if they are being unruly. You know how to give patience and love, even when it's not deserved. And you know you're emergency exits if there needs to be one. Self-mastery isn't learned in a day and practiced right away. Give yourself time and forgiveness when learning these things.
    There's a lot more to it. I personally logically reading the bible. (Get brain wash of sky daddy flying spaghetti monster out of your brain.) And look at books like James chapter 1. The series of wisdom conduct can make a person impervious to manipulation/lies.
    If you truly want nothing, are humble and are at peace, what can a person manipulate?
    Just my thoughts on the matter.

    • @quiettime6871
      @quiettime6871 Před rokem +1

      Good post

    • @thomasward3717
      @thomasward3717 Před rokem +1

      I 100% agree. Everyone to some capacity have areas of narcism, but the can be ironed out & only through dealing with other people with narcissistic traits.
      I have had horrible bosses that have recommended me for high positions only because I chose to ignore these traits, and not react when they were being extremely rude & humiliating. Just keep your heart clean & forgive.
      Thank you for sharing your wisdom on the topic, you sound like a very wise, patient & humble person and would make a great leader.

    • @alicial4857
      @alicial4857 Před rokem +1

      Brilliant. That content would be awesome as a CZcams video, too.

    • @blahblahblah4544
      @blahblahblah4544 Před rokem +2

      @@alicial4857 lol I have a CZcams channel but never considered putting this on there lol Maybe I'll put it on. Chilibemine conversations is my CZcams. I'm barely beginning soo it looks like a beginner's CZcams channel lol But if it helps maybe I should.

    • @blahblahblah4544
      @blahblahblah4544 Před rokem +2

      @@thomasward3717 Thanks man. I dealt with crazy bosses too. Some you just gotta leave. Some can be handled too.
      I'm really not all wise and patient 😞 If only I could follow my own advice. Someday I will! lol 😂 But I think we're all human, learning as we go.

  • @stephaniejimenez7876
    @stephaniejimenez7876 Před rokem

    I would love to hear more about projection! Cheers from Honduras

  • @VideoGameRoom32
    @VideoGameRoom32 Před rokem +3

    Narcissist are so toxic. I've encountered some of them. It's never their fault. They try to manipulate you that you're the villain and they're hero. They will always point out peoples flaws and imperfections when the have their own. They see themselves as perfect and you need to change not them. SCARY!

    • @DougyFreshGames
      @DougyFreshGames Před rokem

      I have a father like that, its so hard when you have one dad and the only best option is to avoid him. Its absolutely heartbreaking. The constant gaslighting too, good lord.

  • @Introvertedalpha
    @Introvertedalpha Před rokem

    Great video with a lot of good insight into red flags! 🚩🚩🚩

  • @lmnop973
    @lmnop973 Před rokem

    Great video, would love to see a video on projection

    • @jaredmello
      @jaredmello Před rokem +1

      A narcissists accusations are actually confessions

  • @PulseRELOADED
    @PulseRELOADED Před rokem +10

    Yes a projection video would be great 👍🏼

    • @jaredmello
      @jaredmello Před rokem +1

      A narcissists accusations are actually confessions

  • @HappyWolverine
    @HappyWolverine Před rokem +5

    Logan Paul laughed with glee when they found a suicide vic in Japan's suicide forest
    will never forget that
    cant put that one back in the bottle

  • @kapacxs
    @kapacxs Před rokem

    Thank you!

  • @MotoGreciaMarios
    @MotoGreciaMarios Před rokem +1

    The lack of self-love comment earned my like. It's the deepest cause and explains everything.

  • @babyjesuslovesme1219
    @babyjesuslovesme1219 Před rokem

    Very eloquent

  • @wii3willRule
    @wii3willRule Před rokem

    I see some of this in myself, I definitely do need to work on it.

  • @rlee1185
    @rlee1185 Před rokem +1

    Please do more on projection!

  • @3lit3gn0m3
    @3lit3gn0m3 Před rokem +52

    So...narcissism is kind of like living in a way where you're forcing yourself and others to love you in a subversive manner more than you actually love yourself?
    Almost sounds like a form of psychological mind-control, or an attempt at it. : \

    • @memento81
      @memento81 Před rokem

      yes, narcs are sometimes called emotional vampires for that exact reason. They can't warm their own hearts so they need constant outside validation and attention (sometimes even negative attention). So they will give you this whiplash feeling of love bombing you one day to secure the relationship with you and the next day they will invalidate your every feeling and overshadow everything with their bottomless self-pity. It is a very toxic kind of relationship and it can be very subtle and unrecognisable for you, because they are also masters at gaslighting and convincing you, that you are the problem.

    • @WinsomeWinslet
      @WinsomeWinslet Před rokem +14

      This is a great way to explain narcissism. Simplified and understandable.

    • @boxelder9167
      @boxelder9167 Před rokem

      Witchcraft is another word that comes to mind but has fallen out of use.

    • @call_in_sick
      @call_in_sick Před rokem +3

      @@boxelder9167 what???

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 Před rokem

      Exactly what it is

  • @karatekickyourass4045

    Live these videos!

  • @ischi6200
    @ischi6200 Před rokem +3

    I would love some videos on how to deal with narcissists ! also the Projecting video sounds great

  • @joshuapeeler6694
    @joshuapeeler6694 Před 7 měsíci +1

    You guys may not see this comment but if you do, keep doing what your doing, its really changing lives!

  • @KarinPin
    @KarinPin Před rokem

    Good job. Red text 👌🏻

  • @PatrikRasch
    @PatrikRasch Před rokem

    Beautiful video that's so dang true

  • @Steve-gc5nt
    @Steve-gc5nt Před rokem +5

    An easy test is to ask if they've had a good day/night over a period of a week or 10 days. If they never return the question they are a 💯 narc.
    Don't waste any more life on them.

  • @vidmikes
    @vidmikes Před rokem +9

    I really hate the term “self love”. Be comfortable and confident with yourself. Love is only reserved for your family.

  • @shivadasa
    @shivadasa Před rokem +1

    I am in favor of a video on projection. Thanks nice video.

  • @vykkied2355
    @vykkied2355 Před rokem +5

    Talk about projection my friends, it's going to help alot of people.

  • @John-wj4yf
    @John-wj4yf Před rokem

    please do more on projection!

  • @ChocolateMilkCultLeader

    Being a regular at the Podcast, seeing Charlie on CoC is a surprise

  • @yiosomething
    @yiosomething Před rokem

    I cant tell if my ex was a narcisist, but the anger at pointing out truths is about right and so is the lack of self love

  • @MrMedmechanic
    @MrMedmechanic Před rokem

    Spot on!

  • @Jaromeo1287
    @Jaromeo1287 Před rokem

    Would you be able to do a video about handling conflict like I know you've done before but with the added nuance of defending someone you care about that's experiencing a difficult situation? Like for example, helping de-escalate a domestic dispute.

  • @VOLKAERIN
    @VOLKAERIN Před rokem +2

    Hey, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you, and thank you for your service to people. 💚

  • @MrQuarter1207
    @MrQuarter1207 Před rokem

    Wow this is such a good video

  • @shanemcdaniels
    @shanemcdaniels Před rokem

    i would appreciate learning how you added those text effects. thanks

  • @tseitz
    @tseitz Před rokem +2

    Would be interested in hearing your analysis of Sam Bankman-Fried

  • @keni95851
    @keni95851 Před rokem +2

    With your channels affinity for analyzing po culture figures, a narccisism video using a character like House MD could be fun, not only because I like the character but also because he's both a narccicist but also doesn't fall neatly into every criteria. Truly a fascinating character

  • @itspaaach
    @itspaaach Před rokem +1

    This needs to go viral on Twitter

  • @JesterOfShadows
    @JesterOfShadows Před rokem

    It's amazing that you used logans face in the thumbnail. What a great modern example for the kids.

  • @teenghost1760
    @teenghost1760 Před rokem

    Also, circling back to a singular point in their argument or side tracking off the main point of the argument.

  • @golikogoliko1850
    @golikogoliko1850 Před rokem +1

    Please do the video on projection!

  • @patrickpedersen1576
    @patrickpedersen1576 Před rokem

    THANK GOD Charlie is back

  • @grymreefer420
    @grymreefer420 Před rokem +5

    I have Asperger’s and throughout the years, your videos really really help me and are super interesting to me! Thank you sir!