Building Intimate Relationships with an Anxious Attachment Style
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Being afraid of scaring people away for being "too needy" or asking for too much is common when we have an anxious attachment style. This is more about our anxiety than it is the truth about our worthy-ness.
In this second video in the Relationship Series for the month of February, we go over why we may have this attachment style and what tools we can use in order to build loving, healthy relationships that foster love and trust (with romantic partners, friends, and family).
The Relationship series will cover all things mental health that can help us develop healthy and safe relationships. With Valentine's Day coming up, it is important for us to check in about our patterns in our relationships and gain insight about where they come from and how to manage them.
ATTACHED by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller is one of my favorite books about attachment and relationships. It has a quiz to learn what your attachment style is (as well as your partner, if you have one) and it also teaches you to communicate and work with a partner depending on their and your attachment style. Its a great way to start to learn about relationships and how to meet your needs and how to help your partner meet them too.
You can purchase the book here: amzn.to/2KHSuLO.
[this is an affiliate link that helps me earn money to continue to provide you with free content at no cost to you. Please use this link if you decide to purchase this book, it would help a lot!]
Always cheering for you,
Deniss
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Notes:
What he does that makes me feel he is my perfect partner. He is physically affectionate and very vocal about his love for me. He is attentive to what my likes and dislikes, he feels and reads my body language. He communicates his thoughts and feelings easily to me to built trust and deeper emotional connection. He remembers our love is beautiful and rare. He makes me feel really loved. We think a lot alike in being optimistic and positive. Non negotiable is he has to have boundaries with friends and family when it comes to our relationship, he's not afraid to say no and speak his truth to others.
Thank you for this❤ the comunication part is very hard for me
I grew up with a present family but when it comes to dating, i feel needy and I don’t want to be
This was so incredibly helpful for me. I just realized I have this attachment style and I’d really like to move past it, I can’t stand the anxiety that comes with it - especially because I can see where my actions are illogical, but the emotions are still valid. I was dealing with it the way you suggested, through communication, except now I realize I can do that better - communicating that this is my personal need (not that this is how it has to be or should be, but what works for me) and then assessing if my partner can provide that. Simple and effective, but requires deep work and confidence. Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing your journey! You said it perfectly: it requires deep work but I'm so glad to hear it's been worth it. Wishing you the best in your ongoing journey
Thank you for putting this across in a accessible fashion, I think im ambivalent and telling myself it is a new opportunity to grow 🙏🏽
One of the best Denise Yes you are very good at explaining what to do and how it feels and what usually is said and you have a great vocabulary for communicating I don't understand the algorithm CZcams uses cuz you popped up on my videos but not till recently but then again I have just been exploring this topic recently so I'm glad you did because you are very well explained when you do a video thanks again and stay well...😊
I'm thankful you didn't speak about this style of attachment as a disease, which only increased my self-loath. Yes, it's something to work on but also triggered by unmet needs.
9min in is leigit if ppl cant stay in contact and avoid they cant be good.. for me..
I needed this. Blessings 🙏
I was anxiously attached to someone i left them i never gave them space and lack boundaries they used to get of i finally left my bestie and abused become soo toxic to her and even when i hirted her i selfharmed myself many times and same with my male friendship he want relationships and i want friendship later with oarents permission i want to give him relationships 🙂 i left him whne i amde mistake he gave me wnd cahnce and i harmed myself there too becoz i made mistakes i keep on doing this i used to say i will go i was needy clingy and terrible to him think i dont deserve him even i cahnged myself alote for him😀 i syarted hating myself i said him i becoming toxic to you please tell me this that as a self centred person now he left me i am feeling like i always played with him ..❤ i love him but its okay i need to change myself
Very nice video, thanks
Glad you liked it! Thank you so much for watching!
Much appreciated 😁
thanks for watching!
Thank you so much for this. ☺️🙏🏾
This was amazing thank you
What is there are no childhood traumas?
From my own research through other youtube videos (lol), there does not need to be trauma involved to feel neglected as a child by your parents. sometimes its just outer circumferences that the parent really cant do much about. it is also possible to develop this kind of attachment through other relationships apart from caregivers (friends, partners, etc.) though that is less common.