Three Little Pigs Like You've Never Heard Before. John Branyan
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2020
- Three little pigs is a classic fairy tale, but when told in the language of William Shakespeare it becomes something completely different. Whether you have an extensive vocabulary or one with less words in your vernacular, you're sure to enjoy this amazing story telling experience from John Branyan. Watch "Demeaning Of Life" by John Branyan only at www.drybarcomedy.com/johnb
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I don’t know what’s more impressive. That he wrote this or that he memorized. Brilliant!!
I was amazed at his memory. Impressive.
Incredible!!!
I TOTALLY AGREE. HE'S FABULOUS!
And thus the jester did bequeath unto his captive audience with such flair and finesse, a whole new vocabulary with which to enjoy the delights of mirth...
Well said!
@@suemauer5965 Say what?
How is this not pinned?
As an older Brit, that all sounded perfectly normal to me. I would also recommend watching 'Cunk on Shakespeare' on here.
Fair brat!
I am 74 years old. I miss the humorists of old who could make you laugh without offending or denigrating anyone. Mr. Banyan takes the art form to a completely new level. Haven't laughed this hard in years. Thank you, John.
Drybar is wonderfull. Also see if you can find Bananas. They have great comedy. Very clean.
74 here too. Hilarious stuff. Humor for every member of the family. Undies-wetting VERY possible.....be warned 😉
That is so true. But now we know why. That's because this younger generation only has an active vocabulary of 3000 words.
As a member of generation Z I apologize for our irrational and extremist members' actions
I’m with you!! This is my favorite!!
“Clearly that was the rib we used to use to read minds!” I’m dying man 🤣🤣🤣
That had my belly in full giggle
@@warrenpoultney8215 my belly giggled and jiggled
He's not wrong
Touché 😂
I’d never considered it but I can’t say he’s wrong 😂
"I didn't pay for Netflix so you kids could sit there and read" 😂😂😂
Right!? 😂😂😂
…And they don't.
Cassie Hutchings
ikr 🤣
Lol
Not only did he write this but memorized it perfectly!
Yes that would be hilarious!
That actually was amazing!And funny!😄
This may be the 300th time he's performed this in front of an audience.
🍻👍🤣👏
@@TheSuburban15 But after like a decade+
I found myself literally clapping at the end and hoping for an encore.
This man is brilliant, a comedic genius.
As was I
My 15 year old son and I watch Drybar comedy nightly. On this one, he was lit up laughing and practically VIBRATING 😂 he says he NEEDS this telling of the Three Little Pigs in hard copy form. He told me to wake him up early in the morning so he can transcribe the whole bit 😆
They actually have that! My dad reads it to my little sisters often. Actually just got done reading it. That’s what got me here!
Lol
Wonderful Dad ! Good son!
The transcript of the video is available already; look for …more after the title of a video, select it, and then look for Show Transcript.
@@fourdubs4 Cool! Thanks
This guy is a genius. It was riveting, articulate, memorized, (which never ever happens anymore), and somehow funny as well. I am dazzled as to how he came up with this. The workings of a brilliant mind, for sure
His counterpart, which God created from him, scribed those words for the bemusement of the populace...
Not just words but acting and expressions all done without laughing.....Genius in my Shakespeare book.😂
Pure observational genius.
@@iwaslegend2252 amazing😊
He hired two old British script writers.
He should get "the three the pigs" written that way 😁😁... I would buy that book!
He did
Did he seriously? I’ve got to get that!
Yep!
A Triune Tale of Diminutive Swine
by John Branyan
I wanna get it, but with a dictionary😜😂
Yes, and I have an autographed copy of it ... it rocks!
It is true that we don't use vocabulary the same way any longer. Even in the time since I was born in 1962. This was brilliantly written and executed. Imagine the hours it took for him to both write and memorize this story. Hands down the best rendition of the Three Little Pigs ever done.
I was born in 1955. I used vocabulary words carried forward from the 1700s. There was NOT ONE WORD in this 3 little pigs story I did not understand. But then I have always loved words.
One day at the factory, 12 years ago, I said to the Team Lead "Well that's the rigor de jour" . She looked at me and said "What's THAT suppose to mean?" Another coworker said one day laughing "Lynn your the only person working here who uses 3 syllable words".
That is exactly what I thought after I caught up 20 sec into it. Have to admit I was lost for a few seconds there. Pretty dang good memory on that fella right thar, by golly. EDIT, AND VERY WELL SAID YOURSELF¡!¡!¡!
@@lynnodonnell4764 'You're'
@@paulstaf Hello Paul. This is Lynn. Mayhap you could be a good fellow and expound on your reply to me....
Did you like this version of Three Little Pigs? I found it quite medicinal to ease much pain from the poison ivy rash all over my arms.
@@lynnodonnell4764 , Say What ?
I'm grateful for the incredible exercise of vocabulary used by John Branyan to create the retelling of this story & also for the CLEAN humor endorsed by Drybar. Thanks to these comedians who prove it's not only admirable to create classy humor but hysterical!! Thanks
He was f****g hysterical !!
@@AlmostReady504 Just couldn’t resist. 😉
Key word: “Clean” a lost art!
Yep, clean humor the best 👍👍
I saw him do this about 20 years ago and love it just as much now as then!
Someone PLEASE hire this guy to rewrite ALL of our fairy tales so that they can be performed in plays !
Just go to Europe, they are all written like that
Yes, They would be as much fun as what Gregory McGuire gave us with his new perspective on characters and plots for the fairy tales. Wicked, Witch of the West, Confessions of a Stepsister and others, but by this man in fabulous language.
Most excellent idea!
Yes definitely need them if only to keep our sanity.... please please please bring us more.😃
Nah, it would never work; it would be impossible to do. One would require a Victorian Age computer to be able to enter the language, and as far as I know, none exist. You try entering that on a modern computer and spell checker would flag every single word, and God help you if you have AUTOCORRECT turned on!
I love a comedian that can take something ordinary and make it extraordinary just by the "telling"!
Shake Spear. That should do it. A fifteen sentence denial does not.
And without vulgarity.
When I hear "Three Little Pigs", I always think of Archie Campbell. (Pee Little Thrigs)
“who” not “that”
Madame Defarge
Yes. Duly noted. 👍🏼
I thought the line about the rib we use to read minds was going to be the highlight of the show. But luckily for me, for us all, we did not hasten off this page, but stayed and our ears were blessed with the tail of piglets three. A blessing not bestowed gently like that of falling snow, but a downpour that came upon us with thunderous applause and hysterical laughter.
This is, by far, without a close second, the best comedy routine I have ever seen. The constant use of 4 letter words strung together in a different order every few seconds got old in like 7th grade.
Get OVER it.
With most utmost respect I declare: Dude that was freakin great.
Yeah and verily!
Yes. He is. Perfect storyteller
Yeah and the the truth be know that the Americans did once again save the day
It did indeed contain much awe.
Yep, 'bout rite.
Never before hast thine ears collected the sound of such frivolity! I am left spent from laughter upon the floor of my domicile still convulsing from thy words!
As a female spent at the end of my frivolity having caught up with me, not to want to, i am left unashamedly as a scowl by a stranger after my poetry.
I can't stop laughing long enough to reply in kind.
This has only made me laugh harder!
@@Maria-kl1ik Huh? LOL, and I am really.
@@judithwalker3600 sorry old chum but i didn't get as far as Rada, however do a good impression of rags to riches with pirates gold e,g, the iron ore with no more lahore, xx
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 OH CRAP !!! 😂😂 😂 👍
The absolute greatest rendition of "Three Little Pigs" I've ever heard.
Say What ?
@@jimthomas1989 Forsooth! And thou art verily one of those Americans whose vocabulary consists of words few in both quantity and syllable. In truth thou hast perhaps put enormous effort and diligence into thy work, rather than the learning of numerous words?
@@annep.1905 ,
At the 7: 04 minute mark !
@@jimthomas1989 Ok, ok! I'll translate into American for you!
"WOW! You must be one of those Americans who knows few words. Perhaps you tried hard to do good work, instead of learning English?"
@@annep.1905 I will translate !
I'm repeating what he said at the 7:04 minute mark of this VIDEO !
You need to publish THIS version of THE 3 LITTLE PIGS! I would buy many and give them out as added presents for Birthdays or Christmas. You nailed it! I LOVE IT!! BRAVO!
He already did.
Hands down. That is the BEST version of three little pigs I've ever heard!
I mean... thou hast put forth the most preposterous and exquisite telling of a tale that hath bore me in the former years of my youth to become the most memorable and formidable legend of all time.
I'm loving how it's inspired people (self included) in the comments to twist and bend to stretch our own minds and vocab.
Yeah, I liked it too!
@@warrenpoultney8215 Truly, it doth bring to mynde the truthe that we shall yet see the daye hither fore we are reduced and confynd to the intellect beset upon the poor folke of "Idiocracy" welle within our span of tyme on this faire globe.
say what?????
@@JLH1956 I loved your response. Laughed out loud.
"Oh God!" didsth I gasp wilst listening with great mirth to the tale of yon 3 porkins. With much force did water eschew forth from my optical orbs and cascade down my cheeks as my breath was ripped from my heaving chest till the end and I was able to regain control of my nerves once again.
🤣
Be's funny , too !
What did you say about my momma?
🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
You rock, John Branyan.
History, comedy, words, literature all in one!
What a delight to hear the English language spoken properly once again! It rings as a most delightsome musical symphony unto my ears, which would, if able they would be and legs they had, as most agreeable partners to such an inspired move of ecstatic expression they most certainly are, waltz up and away, into the night, high unto the heavens, lifted by the lilting waves of these orchestral notes, known to some as…words. What an exceeding joy erupting in my heart! How I long,…nay, yearn, to hear it always spoken thusly!
Lady, do you partake in Renn Faires?
I think most people get turned off to Shakespeare in school when they have to read it. This kind of language is meant to be performed and that is made very clear here.
A good teacher actually WANTS you to engage in that manner. Kids simply don't want to for shy nature of their age. The teachers are too afraid to push because pressure isn't something they want to give.
Most teachers would be excited of their children performed the readings.
Shakespeare had a vocabulary of 54,000 words... some of which he made up himself.
say wut?
@@agonleed3841 But, prithee I say, that that shan't be necessarily nor verily a bad thing, for I find it most opportune to learn even both Low and High English of that time, but, alas! I don't have the time right thus as I, inasmuch, do have a tutelage in commercial agriculture within the University of Western Australia, wherein thee would find the most unassuming professorships and most unfathomable list of opportunities therein. It would be preposterous to not taketh the advantage through whence it presents itself, savvy?
Amen, brother! During my 35 + years of teaching English language and literature, I could never understand why other teachers would first require their students to read a Shakespearean play, and then require said students to discuss the very item which, unless they were reared reading the King James Version of The Bible, they could not hope to understand. Then those very same teachers would require the students, who had very limited understanding to try to perform the play orally. Disaster! At the end of the teaching unit, those same teachers would finally reward the befuddled students by showing them a professional production of said Shakespearean play. Aha! When it was too late for the students to actually begin caring, they got to witness the wonder of Shakespearean drama. But, since they already knew that it was horrible for them, they simply ignored the performance as a rule. Why not BEGIN with the professionally-performed play, discuss it as fully as possible, and then, and only then, encourage the students to read important passages from the play, and/or allow /encourage a close reading of the play while listening to a professional audio performance of the play, complete with frequent stops for discussion and contemplation???? Those audio recordings have, for at least the last 45 years, been widely available to the teaching profession!!! AAAIUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!
This is the type of comedy I like the most. Focusing on Punchlines, and not Obscenities.
And what a punchline!
I agree Jennifer. If you have to use obscenities to get a laugh you aren't funny.
Obscene or shock humor has it's place. Comedy of a higher caliber that can appeal across generational gaps is genius. The 'Wanna be' romantic in me often climbs to the surface and is a 'character' I slip into that speaks Shakespeirian with an over the top lack of ability to speak Shakespirian - ie - Harketh goest I forth unto which narry be not thine for mine be that which witch could upon thy vary cast shadows for with nor narry a spot quencheth a thirst born this our day once reckoned shall wreck again once more than one. "Oucheth" soundeth the subdude "
@@chazzdimitriadis9064 hey chazz, do you know what rhymes with jazz?
@@stonytornado3746 I'll try pizzazz for $400 plz Stony
That pig story was freaking WELL DONE! And very entertaining! I kept wondering how it would end, with the 3rd pig. Happy to hear "American made products saved the day! Really nice job!
That caught me off guard completely. Not the punchline I expected. But well placed 😂
That's how he made it clear it was a fairy tale 😂
Question is how long did it take h to memorize the story!! One can get thru life with less than half a dozen hand gestures! Be forewarned, at least 1 on them may escalate the conversation to a physician confrontation!
Duane Marsh Except nowadays most American consumer products are made in China to crappy Chinese standards. Pax
@@rduff1999 Actually not true, worked in industry & business in China for 15yrs. The specifications you're getting in your stores, are the specifications of the customer (the store) buying the product .
China has a domestic spec and a spec for their customers. There's a reason why people in China would go buy their electronics in Hong Kong, 2 in fact. 1 they were actually cheaper, 2, they were made to western often superior spec.
Hilarious! Had rivulets of salty tears emanating from my visual orb sockets, finding their way down my cheeks which were pulsating with the laughter coming from my vocal orifice!
Indeed, and in my own gales of mirth a fine spray of beer did issue forth from betwixt my lips, yet missed my laptop.
@@ernsttrekiew198 - Indeed, kind sir!
@@ernsttrekiew198 Dude!!!!! :)
Uh... say what? 😀
@@mariana1964 - Typical New Speak response! Reference to the novel 1984 by George Orwell.
THE BEST version of 3 little pigs I have ever heard 🤣
This isn't new?
@drew pedersen , yes, many years ago. Brilliant song!!
My vocabulary hath been expanded to the nth degree as my brain doth hurt from such exposure...
🤣
Yeah.
😆😆😆
What he said.....lol
Oh my dear brother. Please just take an aspirin and perhaps a little nap, as you have exhausted your faculties. Be made aware that we humans, have limited devotions to the art of storytelling.
Jaw-dropping fairy tale from a true comic genius. I hope that he writes a brilliant screenplay about anything. And hires actors that can keep up with his storytelling.
Kenneth Branagh could!
I have not laughed for 3 months. Until now! God I needed this! Thank you sir!
This is unbelievable. Seriously. The best freestyle rappers out there can’t touch this flow.
Truth hath been spoken by thee! Stand this fellow on yonder platform with a rapper and watch thou how he foileth him!
Listen to Chris Turner. You want a true freestyle rapper, listen to him. Again, this is not rapping. He is merely speaking.
Agreed. Chris Turner is next level incredible.
@James Fox Wow, and just what kind of education do you have? For you to even think such a thing, you have a toddler mentality. As far a comedic talent goes, this is up there with the best of him. Not sure how old you are but would you have said the same if it came from Robin Williams or say, Richard Pryor? Probably not...
@James Fox, you clearly don't understand rapping. This Shakespeare routine was rapping at the highest level. Rapping in the 16th and 17th centuries. The alliteration was brilliant.
I’m unsure which is more remarkable, that someone came up with this or that I understood everything that was said.
Now, you’re just showing off! :-)
Just remembering the whole thing is incredible
how millennial of you... maketh this thou all about thyself lol
@@natew5544 I should have provided context. I’m middle aged which is why I said it was remarkable that I was able to follow it all. I wasn’t expressing arrogance, but surprise considering my mind isn’t exactly young. Also, I am truly amazed at his skill which is why I called it remarkable. Sorry if that wasn’t made clear from my statement.
@@weaponizedmath4369 I agree. This is Carlin-level memorization.
I’ve probably watched this 50 times or more … and I still laugh till I cry … excellent
i walked into the room as someone else was watching this and heard this just as the 3 little pigs got started. such a treat! this is art!
Even the Big Bad Wolf is impressed by this. His voice is awesome. He needs to record a complete audiobook of the nursery rhymes. His deep voice of the third pig is awesome. I could listen to his story telling all day
That would be wonderful!!!!
I'm on my 5th time. And l've played to all my friends. I just love it when he snorts.
@@suzannegiannini85 I've watched it hundreds of times. Sometimes 2 and 3 times in a row. He's Marvelously talented. Pig 3's voice is most appealing. That deep tone is mesmerizing!!!
@@carlarenae4581 snort. 😆
@@suzannegiannini85 WeeWeeWee all the way home
this was by far the most compelling and satisfying retelling of this classic tale i've ever encountered. this stopped being comedy and started being an enthralling voice recording of one of the most boring tales of my childhood within an unexpectedly short period of time. i wasn't ready.
Say What?
It was Good, but have You heard HeeHaw's Archie Campbell deliver "Rindercella?" 😂
Furthermore this guy remembered it!! Hence his joke that he couldn’t read to children was yet again a joke. Very brilliant comedian!
Green jelly is better
@@catsonly4805 🤣
That is the best Three Little pigs story I've ever heard in my entire life it was wonderful.
Who says there is no intelligent comedy? This man is amazing! Can you imagine all the combinations of words living in his head? Definitely worth subscribing to his channel.
Just WRITING this children's story, in this language, is genius enough, but to REMEMBER AND RECITE it all like this??? Oh my God !!
No kidding...
I was amazed! Impressed me enough to sit thru the whole story and wanted more!
Jackie I'm happy to know I was not the only one wanting more.
he's winging it
and to be able to shift such drastic accents and tonality flawlessly
I want to see this guy retelling the story of Hansel and Gretel.
Yes, start the GoFundMe...
Yes that would be hilarious!
I want this guy to speak at my wedding 😂
Pinochio, Snow White, Cinderella
@@BookOfMorman I want him to do my funeral. Or is that the same thing?
This was beyond impressive and I'm not easily impressed. I cannot remember ever being so entirely captivated by a story. Pure brilliance. Thank you Sir! For that remarkably intellectual stimulation and intense laughter 👏🤝🙌 I threw a few emojis in for extra measure. 🤣 BRAVO!
Came across this in the recommendations, never heard of him before, so glad I watched it - The guy is brilliant.
That was fantastic!!! Can you imagine how excited his children must have been to go to bed? Bedtime!.....Yayyy! Speak forth us a tale father!! Lol!
Especially when you consider it took 4 times as long to tell it!!!
@@johnhouston6383 With story telling this alive, you don't notice.🤣
@@warrenpoultney8215 The kids WANT longer delay before actual go to sleep time!
@@NatandGeorge LOL Exactly!
@@johnhouston6383 But, it was at least four times as interesting.
Saw him do this live several years ago. Had hundreds of tired homeschool parents laughing hysterically 🤣😜!
Surprised they had the social skills?
Perhaps tired homeschooling parents could try interfacing with professional English teachers of the caliber who make Shakespeare fun for their students. Please see my reply to Phrygian...
When he went into that "I would urge we run !" Then said "WEE - WEE - WEE - WEE -- !!!!" I CHOKED with laughter !!! 🤣🤣🤣
This reminds me of a high school Economics paper I wrote one time. Our teacher assigned us to read any fiction novel of our choosing and explain the plot in terms of economics. I didn't want to read some huge book if I didn't have to, so I chose Green Eggs and Ham. And I explained every. single. sentence. in as verbose Wall Street-speak as I could. Got an A+, too!
As for this guy, we actually read his Triune Tale of Diminutive Swine book every year around Christmas, passing it to a new person each year and seeing if they can read it out loud without messing up any words or laughing. Idk how on earth he managed to memorize it, even though he's the author!
Shakespearean verbiage of 3 Little Pigs is priceless, simply priceless. Mr. Branyan needs a huge award for this piece... laughed till tears flowed down cheeks.
I did the same thing, plus gasping for breath, as well as trying hard not to wet my pants!
i accidentally spat coke on my keyboard
Best version of The Three Little Pigs I've ever heard.
Oh yeah, you should hear my Uncle Chuck`s version. Blow your socks off! Not as fancy as this fella, but I'm talking quality acting and sound effects. But to each their own.
The fact that he remembered that whole tale is truly impressive... well done.
“The Three Little Pigs” retold by comic John Branyan, illustrating the
power of rich vocabulary
In time passed, though not long ago, there lived three pigs in stature, little in number,
three, who being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune did set about
to do thusly.
When they had traveled a distance, pig numbered first spake saying, “Harken Brethren,
head this impetuous realm! Tarry me far from hearth and home I fear we shall fair
*snort* not well!” and so being collectively agreed, but individually impaled, the
diminutive swine sought each to erect himself an abode.
Pig numbered one did construct his house of straw. Pig numbered two did likewise,
though rather not from straw but instead from sticks. Meanwhile, unique in his
imaginings, pig numbered three did erectus his domicile star-ward and garish structure
made from brick entirely. Soon there happened along, as is frequently the scenario of
classic protagonist pig or red hooded child - a wolf.
Carnivorous nature in full season, he called out to the straw staunched swine saying,
“Pray thee, little pig, grant me entrance.” But pig one recalled with sage foreboding that
he is mad who trusts in the tameness of a belly pinched wolf and responded
immediately, “Nay it shall NOT be indeed! Not by wit or whiskered jowl!”
Prepared for this most expected response, the wolf replied immediately, “Than steal
thyself, little pig! Forthwith shall I endeavor employing means both huffing and puffing to
dismantle yon flaxen fortress!” Where upon there issued forth from the wolf an exhale of
gale proportions that quickly rendered straw hovel to dregs and dross and carried aloft
piglet and shattered courters both.
Exposed now to claw and fang, piglet one made haste, wolf in pursuit, to the stick
festooned sanctum of peccary secondary.
Causing pig two to cry out in dismay, “Well,
this knocks my knickers! The marshaling of feral wolf on my doorstep is nowhere among
those endeavors of animal nor congenial!”
“A thousand pardons!” Squealed two…one…”T’wood seem the beast made from breath
has purged me of home and sound judgment alike!”
The mighty maelstrom of the wolf’s exhale…splattered second swine’s shack and
shortened his sanctimonious scolding simultaneously.
“Low and behold!” Squealed two, “stand we now amid wooded wreckage, tremulous
and vulnerable with nay various strategy for ensuing the canine devour in looming in
deadly proximity!”
“Strategy?” Squealed one, “While it is noble to contemplate tactical particularities,
pressed as we are with the time restraint for bidding detailed strategical conversations, I
would URGE WE RUN!”
Whether by their own fleet footed competence or the wolf’s windless attitude, the
diminutive swine arrived at their ultimate kindred neighbor’s inexpugnable brick ingress
unscathed. Upon the third pig’s door with urgent hooves they pounded calling out,
“Unbar this entrance and with haste, we beseech thee!”
The third pig haled from the American colonies….
And possessing a vocabulary substantially less robust than impromptu visitors replied,
“Say what?”
“Seek we sanctuary!” They implore on the verge of hysteria, “Lest we fall forthwith to the
ravenous appetency of yonder approaching carnivore!” Still confounded by their importunate words, Pig three did render ajar his portal whereupon one and two spilled
through and collapse beyond the threshold, enervated.
“Y’all just wanted to come in? You could’a said that.”
The sinister hiss of the wolf could once again be heard outside, “Pray thee pigs, grant
me entrance!”
“The wolf!” said one and two.
“Wolf?” said three, “What’chya suppose he wants?”
“He seeks to gain purchase within, indeed he would occupy this very alcove where we
have afforded the most meager of opportunities!”
“Right…I’m just gonna go ask him what he wants.”
“Under no circumstances!” Squealed two flinging self bodily against the portal, “there is
none to be gained accost the external opponent save our immediate demise!”
“What did you say about my momma?”
House occupants were again engulfed by a benevolent blast of wolfish wind. The
foundation shook, the frame rattled, and low, to the astonished eyes of piglet and
encroaching scoundrel alike, stood the third pig’s lodging undaunted.
Good news for you, pig fans.
Aghast and dismayed, pig two quarried of pig three, “How does, against such relentless
and torrential onslaught, does this domicile endure?”
Pig three, puffed out chest, tapped a hoof to the hearth and responded “It’s American
made.”
Brings back old memory of Rindercella which I believe Ray Stevens did where he teversed/swapped the beginnings of words like sisty uglies and if the flipper sits
Truly brilliant 👏
Thank you for the transcription ❣️
😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I shall use words… thank you!
This transcript could use a few fixes for accuracy sake, but it was a valiant attempt and I loudly applaud your efforts!
Ney i beseach thee bring forth more of this magnanimous comedy for i have a ravenous appetite.
Aye!
Ye shall henceforth be thusly satisfied with more plentiful filling comedy for thine own personal satisfaction. But, ye know that olde saying, ah! 'Tis nothing like another old lang syne.
What you say about my mama?!?!
BigHolmie he beseeched her and lo, thou hast sprung hither from her loins 🤦♀️🤣
Yea verily!
Thusly, a phenomenal comedian he doth make, bringing a comedic renaissance to our current humourless society. Bravo. =)
Agreed! It matters not who is in charge, nor which political party, if any. This is needed in Washington DC!
And I thank you for a nice long laugh Trystian S!!!!!!!
True, but henceforth, even the women were banned from performing comedy, including Her Majesty, Elizabeth I, Regina of England. It doth take me great pains to try to understand such an obstinate stance on who plays women in plays, other than male eunuchs, aye?
I can see the sjws pulling their hair out now!
@Hope For the Planet Well spoken. I hate woe!
He should get an Oscar for that performance.
This is AWESOME! I did a lot of Shakespeare in high school so I feel this! 😂😂
Not even undomesticated equines could remove me from this performance.
how bout wild horses ?
Indeed! :)
wild wild doggies
couldn't drag me awaaaaaaay..
Say What?
A search for anything greater would be like a pursuit of an untrained ornithoid.
As a factory worker in US, the punchline had me cheering 📣!😀
Amazing rendition of The Three Little Pigs and honest rendering of the role of the man, woman and American sensibility! "American Made"
That was AWESOME! Now I have to clean Iced tea off my screen.🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I speak his language! I tell my husband, "Do thou clean the kitchen whilst I away to the laundry room." He is brilliant!!
......and he replied unto thee:
"Be gone shallow one....for I have begun said deed whilst thou prevaricate and yey! waste precious eco electricity in thy washing time!"
Or summat like that.....
This was dope. Kids and adults should try to retell all fairy tales this way.
@@halftwins :-)
Hi, Professor B
Dude's telling the 3 little pigs in old English, and you say "this was dope?" 😆
It shows the contrast between the grasp of the English language this storyteller has, and what many of these commenters have.
I say "Yea, verily, this performance was exquisitely hilarious and profoundly executed! Encore! Encore!"
😆
I think of the time and effort, the practice. to produce this tale. Absolute genius.
I would like to see him do all of the old fairytales the same way, that would be a DVD I would buy a copy for myself and all of my family absolutely fantastic storytelling ability
The story was great, but more impressive to me is that someone could memorize something that long and complex.
? Actors memorize Shakespeare.
@@grandmalovesmebest I agree...but they do so in a dry, non-comical, atmosphere..... not in a room of people wanting to laugh frequently.
Credit due here, I think....The guy does a great job.
@@grandmalovesmebest Said actors usually are not speaking so high pitched and fast.
Ah, I would venture a guess that you are not a child raised by the Greatest Generation. When I was a child in the 40's and 50's, we were compelled to memorize lengthy poems as part of our educational process. We also did it at home, with each family member rendering a part of the poem from memory.
@@retiredyeti5555 Charge of the Light Brigade?
After listening for the past hour of the doom & gloom of my Country, this 10 mins of laughter has restored my soul. We may still be doomed, but we'll go down laughing.
😂😂
Who's doomed? You're only doomed if you don't have Jesus in your heart 😉
thweet jethus thought refuthe into mine hearth!
🤘
Barbara Hamilton Fear not fair damsel, for there is nothing to fear but fear itself!
Agreed American made 😁
One of the most brilliant sets I’ve enjoyed in stand up comedy. Well done.
So classically hilarious!!! I literally don’t have the words, for after thus, I dare not speaketh!!🤣
Mr.Branyan should make a series of these, that was brilliant.
THIS WAS JUST BRILLIANT. Rewirte all fairy tales
Rewrite even.
When I'm feeling down, I just listen to this 3 pigs story, and I crack up laughing! It's so funny! Thanks 😊
That was good stuff. "It's not enough to speak, but to speak true." Well done Mr. Branyan.
Fascinating how a retelling of a classic tale could bring forth a CZcams video with a vast expansion of vocabulary usage in the comment section...... and yay me for knowing what they all mean!
Here's the transcription:
In time past, though not long ago there lived pigs in stature little, in number, three, who, being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune, did set about to do thusly.
When they had traveled a distance, pig numbered first spake saying, “Harken brethren heed this tempestuous realm tarry we long from hearth and home, we shall fare, I fear, *oink* not well!”
And so, being collectively agreed, but individually impelled, the diminutive swine set about each to erect for himself an abode. Pig numbered first did construct his house from straw, pig numbered second did likewise, though rather, not from straw, instead from sticks, meanwhile, unique in his imagining pig numbered three did erect as his domicile stalwart and garish a structure made from brick entirely.
Ah, but soon, there happened along, as is frequently the scenario in classic tale of protagonist pig, or red hooded child. A wolf carnivorous nature in full season he called out to the straw ensconced swine saying, “Pray thee little pig, grant me entrance!”, but pig one recalled with sage foreboding, that “He is mad who trusts in the tameness of a belly binched wolf!”, and responded immediately, “Nay! It shall not be! Indeed, not by wit or whiskered jowel!”
To this most expected response the wolf replied immediately, “Then steal thyself little pig forthwith shall I endeavor in blowing means both huffing and puffing to dismantle yon flippant flaxen fortress!”
Whereupon there issued forth from the wolf an exhale of gale proportions, that quickly rendered straw hovel to dregs and dross, and carried aloft piglet and shattered quarters both, exposed now to claw and fang, piglet one made haste, wolf in pursuit, to the stick festooned sanctum of peccary secondary, causing pig two to cry out in dismay, “Well, this knocks my knickers! Marshalling a feral wolf to my doorstep is nowhere among those endeavors amenable or congenial!”
“A thousand pardons begged one, it would seem the beast's baneful breath hath purged me of home and sound judgement alike!”
The malevolent blast of the wolf’s exhale splattered second swines shackets shortest sanctimonious scolding simultaneously.
“Lo and behold!”, squealed two, “Stand we now amid wooden wreckage tremulous and vulnerable with nary a strategy for eschewing the canine devourer looming in deadly proximity!”
“Strategy,” exclaimed one, “while tis noble the contemplation of tactical particularities, pressed as we are with time restraints forbidding detailed strategical conversation, I would urge we run!”
*Piglet running noises*
Whether by their own fleet footed competence or the wolf’s windless attitude, the bantam porkers arrived at their ultimate kindred neighbors inexpugnable brick ingress unscathed. Upon the third pigs door, with urgent hooves they pounded, calling out, “Unbar this entrance, and with haste, we beseech thee!”
The third pig hailed from the American colonies, possessing a vocabulary substantially less robust than his impromptu visitors, replied, “Say, what?”
“Seek we sanctuary!”, they implored on the verge of hysteria, “Lest we fall forthwith to the ravenous apatancy of yonder approaching carnivore!”
Still confounded by their importinant words, pig three did render ajar his portal, whereupon one and two spilled through and collapsed beyond his threshold, ennervated.
“So, yall just wanted to come in? Why didn’t ya say that?”
Hiss of the wolf could be heard, “Pray the pigs, grant me entrance!”
“The wolf!” said one and two.
“Wolf” said three, “What ya suppose he wants?”
“He seeks to gain purchase within, indeed he would occupy this very alcove were he but afforded the most meager of opportunity.”
“Right. I reckon I’ll just ask him what he wants.”
“Under no circumstances!” squealed two, flinging self against portal, “There is naught to be gained accosting external opponent, save our own immediate demise.”
“What did you say about my momma?”
House and occupants were again engulfed in a malevolent blast of wolfish wind, the foundation shook, the frame rattled, and lo, to the astonished eyes of piglets and encroaching scoundrel alike, stood the third pigs lodging, undaunted. Aghast, and befuddled two queried of three, “How does against such relentless and torrential onslaught, this domicile endure?”
Pig three, puffed out chest, tapped a hoof to the hearth, and responded, “It’s American made.”
Wow!
Thank you!
Wow!!! Thank you for this transcription!
Thanks for taking the time to post the transcript👍✌
Awesome
That is the best rendition of three little pigs I have ever heard.
Fantastic retelling of the old children's classic! Genius!
It's American made ☺! Love from Nigeria 🇳🇬
"say what?" I lost it 😂
PLEASSEEE, you've GOT to do ALL the other GRIMM fairytales, the very same way! You're a great talent. Bring more of it on! I can't wait!
Brilliant !! So refreshing to hear a comedian that doesn't need to resort to expletives but captures the mood by useage of language !! ...love it 😁❤👏
Perhaps if we read to our children like this we wouldn't have to have suffered through Justin Beiber and the Kardashians....
Amen!
I read to mine. When others were getting new vans w DVD players with their kids glued to the screens, mine were reading aloud, to themselves, or singing multiplication tables to a CD in our old but functionally safe van. 😄 No, we weren't perfect or better. My kids also fought in the car, drove me crazy at times, and I threw a few toys out the window in frustration with them (aka mom's temper tantrum). Today they can watch all the shows they want, but most importantly, they are not only well educated academically but also have life skills. 😂 None of us turned out perfect. But, we try!
What MMT123 Mimi said in plural.😉
Valid point.
That's great!
This guy is a breath of fresh air hilarious and wow no profanity
Clarence Strait profanity only means that they do not have good material,good stories do not it
The best comedy HAS no profanity.
He's a Christian comic who has toured with Tim Hawkins another clean Christian comic.
Tiz true. Jesters of this time present. At a loss when finding their material lacking. Use profanity. In trying to get by with its backing
(: So far as we know :)
I don't care how many times I hear this, I laugh. John is great for this.
Love his rendition of the three little pig children's tale. It would be very interesting to hear the same kind of version of other fairy tales. Excellent, just excellent!
THIS is how people perform Shakespear. Words are easy to remember when you put some emotion behind them.
Ahem, Shakespeare.
I read an early version of "the Swiss Family Robinson" to my visiting Grandson who was having learning and reading difficulties at school. The book was full of this style of colorful talking. It turned a switch and my Grandson caught up in school the next school year.
Wish I could give this comment a thousand thumbs up!!
My grandson had a diagnosed learning disability combined with Autism. One of his legs was even shorter than the other! I gave him a copy of George Carlin's "Last Words" in which he became immersed. He soon discovered through critical thinking that he was brainwashed into thinking he had a disability and became the star of his high school track team. He is now Dean of an Ivy League university. His left leg is STILL shorter than the other, but hikes on hilly paths are much easier for him that way.
@@nortonnewmann3711 , did you pull his leg as you do mine?
Given his learning disability and, therefore, probable diminishment of comprehension, it is more than likely that the addled lad took it to heart that if he failed in his endeavor to ascend the rankings within his academic milieu, he risked eternal banishment to a deserted island.
Bet he can run circles around others......
Still my favorite version EVER of The Three Little Pigs! ❤❤🤣🤣
Best version of "The Three Little Pigs" ever told. (Giggle...laugh...snort...)🤣😂
Reading old literature definitely improves one's vocabulary and comprehension of the written word
Beatrix Potter's classics are awesome
Indeed. So many beautiful words are lost.
But "Made in America" should mean something as well.
Agreed! Even WATCHING old literature ... hence, 20 yrs later, I still incorporate vocabulary from films, "Sense & Sensibility" and "Pride & Prejudice," into mine own.
@@pauladwyer2869 Austen was a master at wordplay and had keen observations on how people interact with each other.
When you drop out of getting your major in English Lit and instead pursue your dream of being a stand-up comedian
Nah, an English major would have done it in iambic pentameter.
Hey comin from a Goose..thats pretty awesome.
Lol! That's a drop out for you!
Probably in the 1st semester.
He's very creative, imaginitive, and funny though!
And yes, obviously, I've never taken any 'English literature' classes.
Not even 'Emojis-101', but I'm getting my online school diploma next week. I just paid them, so it should be arriving any day!
“Say what??“ 😂
To remember all that is simply genius!!
I can NOT stop watching this !!! Recommended many times ! Thanks, John !!! Priceless !!! :)
"Clearly this was the rib we used to read minds with." LMAO!
No no - none of this LMAO stuff. Do thou say it in real English!
Yeah wish he left us that one as my ex-wife would always say "I know what you are thinking" but he must have broke it when he removed it as she was always wrong. She would say "You are thinking of this or that" when all I was thinking was "Shut Up Please, I need some quiet"
I'm of the female gender and thought it was funny...but, there may be some truth to it.🤣
He tried it. 🤣
I’m giving up on Star Wars, I’m going back to the good old fairytales!
Check out on Amazon Star Wars by Shakespeare.
@@onlyfromadistance7326 I second this recommendation.
Bravo! John Branyan that was superb! 👏👏👏💕 ENCORE, ENCORE!!
I've seen this several times and absolutely love it every time!! So clever and very funny!
I do not know how many views this has received, but 6 or 7 of them are mine.
How genuinely refreshing it is to listen to Intelligent humor!! Thank you!!
I'm sure the third little pig used Acme Brick, which can be purchased conveniently from Amazon or the Acme Catalog, where Wolf's third cousin Coyote orders all his supplies.
I wouldn't...their return policy is 'no refunds except in the form of in store credit'
Ah yes, the Acme brick company of Walla Walla Washington!
@@joecalobeer6396 They also sell washing machines...
jrp61356 I think that’s how the Acme company begin, washing machines! They just expanded their company into the brick making business.😊
Robin Williams would have loved this bit. This is a tough bit to do. Great job.
I have been listening to this over and over for two years now. And every time it blows me away! Not only is his delivery perfect, but his memory Hass to be something beyond conceivable for most people. I forget my iPad passcode at times, so I have no idea how he remembered this. That in itself makes this one of the greatest pieces of comedy I’ve ever heard.