When Your Husband Doesn't Lead Spiritually
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- čas přidán 13. 02. 2021
- I can remember how frustrated I was when my husband didn't lead our family spiritually. Truth be told, I had always been the more spiritually mature one, and although I knew what the Bible taught about having a godly marriage, it didn't seem like that was going to happen in my house.
I wanted a godly husband, but it seemed the more I prayed, the more my husband resisted turning to the Lord. Then, I decided to do something different. I kept praying and I quit talking. I quit trying to be his Holy Spirit and instead, I focused on me. I decided to allow the Lord to convict my husband and I just focused on loving him. It's not been easy, and there are still times when I want to be his "helper" in this area, but I must resist, and so must you.
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When they don't lead spiritually, it forces us to and things FEEL out of order and everybody suffers unnecessarily.
So true. Jesus said, "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth" (Revelation 3:15).
My family is experiencing this now.
So very true. !
Yep. My husband just puts it on me telling me well I'm more spiritual I'm better at that stuff and it is so straining because yes maybe I am connected to the Lord but leading all the time is stressful and causes arguments. Please pray for me. 😔🙏 Thank you.
@@courtneyvargas733 praying with you because that’s how I feel… whew… exhausting 😢
It feels good to know I’m not the only one struggling with a husband whose dry in his spiritual walk with the Lord, By the grace of God I’m learning not to nag or complain about it to him but just remaining firm in my walk with Christ hoping he’ll snap out of it someday; in the flesh I get discouraged and frustrated but through prayer & worship my anger subsides 🙏🏼. Jesus is my # 1
I’m in the same situation. I see God working in my husband slowly and I pray that God continues working in your husband as well! ❤️
@@cait_oliver22 amen! glad your husband is coming around 🙏🏼 thank you sis ❤️
You are definitely not alone!
Please say a pray for my husband Allan. He is very passive and he thinks that I’m becoming to spiritual and that I need to “have more fun and focus on other things” I’m standing my ground and trying to be an example and show nothing but love but then I go for a drive and just break down uncontrollably because it’s so incredibly difficult. I’ve been praying for so long for him…
He stays with the kids and I work a full time job and cook and bath the kids and being the spiritual leader of the family, it really takes a toll. He just wants to sit at his computer all day and play video games. He wouldn’t go get a job because he wanted to be a stay at home dad, which in short is, he doesn’t want to work, he also just wants the kids to play by themselves while he does his thing, our almost 3 year old isn’t talking yet. She needs to be taught and I don’t always have the time to sit down with her. I’m juggling so many things and on top of that I’m keeping joyous and handling it so well, but there comes a time where I just wanna smack him over the head with the Bible!!! Lol
Hi sister. Your story is very relatable. Do you have a tiktok or if. I could use more sisters in Christ to encourage my walk.
I needed to hear this! Please pray for my husband to be drawn to Jesus, baptized in the Holy Spirit and for me to keep my mouth shut and be the example that God wants me to be as his wife and believer in our household 🙏🙏🙏
Praying for you Krystal.
I didn't realize this was as common and was feeling some kinda way....I know I've backslid, I will not place the blame on my husband. I'm praying God helps me be reignited with His spirit and be the WOG I used to be and be an example and that my husband will find God in a whole new way....I pray he learns once he submits to God I can fully submit to him 🙏🏽
He literally just said with a clear conscience, “ My obligations don’t begin until 2 at work tomorrow.”
I just get enraged when I see that my children are fatherless at church. I see them weak and it’s enraging.
That's tough. I understand your frustration. I have found, however, that becoming angry only exacerbates the problem. The focus then becomes on you and your anger and not his need to grow spiritually. "As much as depends on you, try to live peaceably with everyone"(Romans 12:18).
Thank you , thank you!!!! I needed this tonight! My husband is the passive Christian and as I become closer we are conflicting with each other. He sees it as me picking a fight and I am trying to improve ourselves as an entity under God. Pray for me sis! This is hard!
That's tough. It's hard being married to a passive Christian, because you don't know where they stand from day to day. I'm praying for you.
Same here sister
Amen, Amen!!!! We are to be what Christ called us to do no matter what anyone else is doing. One thing I have done in my more than 50 years of marriage is to do my own thing, be satisfied with Christ no matter what anyone else in the house is doing. The more I accepted him and loved him in spite of the lack of fellowship the more free I felt to carry on with my own calling and personality. I have been leading by default all of our marriage, but recently God told me to stop leading and take care of myself spiritually and allow God to work on him.
Dana me and my husband are going through exactly this. There is a dynamic where I am frustrated almost at how my spiritual life is ahead of him and I watched this it made me realize I need to pray for him more. Thank you.
Well praise God! 🙌🏽 I recently recorded a podcast episode on this topic too. You can listen to it at pod.link/1528234628.
Thank you this is so encouraging I had a fight with my husband because I was trying to teach him a words of God, lead him in a GOd way and he thinks that am controlling wife
This was literally in point! Thank you for sharing.
I love that. I so needed this. I think I struggle with wanting my husband to stop being a baby Christian and move on from there. But maybe I need to stop speaking. I'm so glad I found this/you.😊
I'm so glad this video helped you!
Thank you! This message has been so very helpful. God bless you 🙏🏻✝️
You got it. xoxo
THIS IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!!! THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING GOD'S WORD TO BE AN IMPARTION IN YOUR VESSELS AS A DEMONSTRATION FOR OTHERS TO SEE. GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU!!!❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖
I love your channel! You keep it real and always keep it biblical ❤️.
Thanks Yasmin! I’m glad you’re enjoying my videos. 💕
Thank you for this. I don’t even know if my husband believes in God. I can’t talk to him about it and he doesn’t encourage our children to seek God. It’s been left up to me for the past 23 years and it’s been exhausting at times. I’ve actually run away from God a few times because I have felt so worn out, confused and at times hopeless.
Sis, if you’re worn out, it’s because you haven’t released it to God. You absolutely cannot change him nor carry the weight of his role. You can only do yours! I am speaking from the same experience. God was waiting on me to get out of His way and keep my hands off of it. Your job is to love him and pray for him. Encourage him and speak life over him, that’s it.
I understand you’re growing weary. Don’t give up on God. He hears you. He’s not going to force your husband to love Him though. As challenging as it can be, keep hoping, live YOUR life before Christ and your kids and trust God with your huz. I recently recorded an updated podcast episode on this topic. Listen to it here: pod.link/1528234628
This was so encouraging that I listened to it 3 times in a row. Just the other day I was talking to God and I just ran out of words to say, I was feeling defeated and wondering if any of my prayers and trying to follow the words in these scriptures were going to be fruitful. God is definitely encouraging and comforting me this week. Thank you so much. From the bottom of mt heart, I needed this. ❤
It's so hard to pray sometimes when you feel like the is no hope. Keep praying. Miracles are coming!
Aw, thank you so much. I'm so glad this video encouraged you always knows just what we need. Please forgive my very late reply.
Just listened to three podcasts and two vids haha. Great stuff!! Thank you so much for what you do! I’ve been searching for the vid your couples talk is from. Can you please direct me to the video or podcast episode where y’all are taking together about leadership roles in the fam? Thanks!
Hi Brittany. Sure thing. I didn't publish the full video, but here is the podcast episode I think you'r referring to . . . The part where my husband is talking about spiritual roles is around the 14:00 minute mark. realrelationshiptalk.com/52-sweet-repeat-making-love-outside-the-bedroom-with-shaun-williams/
Wow I've totally blown it today! Nothing nice or gentle about the additude that took hold of me today!
That's okay. Get back up. We all fall down and blow it sometimes. Thank God for grace!
Thank you for this ❤❤❤
You're welcome 😊 I also did a recent podcast episode on this topic. You can find it at pod.link/1528234628.
This is so good 😊 wow thank you
You got it!
Please do more videos on this topic!
Great topic
I think a lot of women feel this. I'm sharing what helped me going through this stage. Thanks for watching.
This is my dream. It needs to become my prayer.
I have a lot of words too 🤣 thank you for this video.
LOL. You're welcome.
Thanks for this video
You're welcome.
I needed someone to comment on this 😮💨 having a hard time over here
God always tells me what i don’t wanna hear 🙄🖐🏼, he’s always right tho
That's usually how we know he's speaking to us. If he only tells us what we want to hear, is it really Him or is it us? I feel you though!
@@mrsdanache his ways are above our ways and i know if i do things his way it’ll turn out how he wants
Wow 🥺🥺🥺 this helped me so much
I'm grateful it did!
Thank you
You got it.
Your book in the description takes me to a blank white page. Is there another way to get your book?
And if your spouse is a Narcissist? And doesnt believe in God? Where do you go from there. My kids are grown now. I am 36 yrs married. And most of the family not talking to each ot
her. Where do you go from there?
Speak to women like me who feel like they've already ruined it with their words. My husband is so easily offended and he cries respect but I struggle to respect him because he refuses to help discipline our adult son living in our house. And it's a vicious cycle. I know its wrong of me to take a tone with him
My husband believes he does everything he can but he doesn’t spend time with God therefore he overreacts to everything and has a hard time acknowledging me in things..it’s painful day after day when he sleeps on the couch because I say one thing that throws him over the edge ..😫😫😫
All I asked after a couple years of him not going any longer to church with me and the kids. I asked please God let him go to Palm Sunday with me. His mommy asked him tonight to watch her dog so he is not home. I called and just asked- are you meeting me at church tomorrow? He first didn’t answer- I said I am just asking- the kids are going, are you. Ah yeah no. My heart broke- this after all we have been through is important to me. I said it is an hour. I gave up Christmas Eve church and Easter when I married him because he had 2 kids and the switch always happened during service. I feel like I gave up my church self for the every other weekend, then his kids not wanting to go, ow they are older. So tonight my heart sank- but I am trying to figure out- is this man for years just leading me away from Christ? Honestly his family are heathens, and atheist. Perhaps now I just be silent- I told him it hurt- but my other kids are meeting me. His loss perhaps. Just broke me. But Jesus has me I am ok.
I wish you all could mentor my husband & I…😔
Please I need to ask was He this way when you married him? Also, would you advice someone to marry a guy who is a Christian but is less spiritually mature?
What if he demands sex and only shows he values sex. He doesn't show he values what I bring as the mother of his kids. He demands sex and I cry during sex because I feel so used and unappreciated and unvalued. I feel so emotionally tortured during sex and robbed of ever being able to enjoy it because the bible says my body is his and so I have to have sex with him to be a christian wife and even though it also says his body is mine I can't force him to value or appreciate me. Also he doesn't lead and I have been the father and mother for 11 years.
Ashley, this is not okay. Sexual coercion is never God's way. Sheila Wray-Gregoire and I discuss "marital rape" on a podcast we did. Please watch it here: czcams.com/video/-E46uQyBORU/video.html
Sis I understand your pain my husband and I are basically living as roommates and he doesn't want the marriage anymore for good reason on both ends. I have been trying hard to change and do things in a godly way but....my husband refuses to try to work things out the right way. He has been with holding from me for over 7 months and when he wants sex I give it to him, yet it feels like I'm sinning. At this point I am seeking a legal separation because it is such a toxic environment for me and my boys. I really want my marriage but...I don't know why things are not working.
I will be praying for you sis and please pray for me.
@@barefeetconcrete Have you sought counseling/coaching? Sometimes it's hard to see the root of the problem when you're in the midst of it.
What if your wife laughs at your prayers or argues about you not doing the Bible study the way she wants it and thinks you’re incompatible at it?
Lead her spiritually? I don’t pray at the table anymore. She doesn’t deserve it
What if i am leading spiritually but her lukewarmness is causing us separation.
I'm sure that's tough for you to go through. As her husband, one of the best things you can do is to love her as Christ loves his bride (the Church). He is slow to anger, compassionate, faithful, and patient with us. Pray for her. Pray for her weaknesses and her to have an encounter with the Lord. This is leadership. It's not easy but leaders model by example and servanthood. I wish you the best.
How does a woman who knows God end up marrying a man who doesn't know God in the first place?
Her falling in love with that person before she came to Christ or them getting married before either one knew Christ.
Plus people mature at different rates as well. 💕
@@k.ferguson1487 you said it right
I married my husband after varsity, he was a pastor's child to a church I knew nothing about. I loved him regardless and agreed to join his church after marriage. Later before his father passed he asked him to take over and become a pastor. He agreed. 10 years into it, I'm now spiritually matured (not by the church but spiritual awakening and consciousness)I realise that this church has never been a spiritual/soul providing church for me and my family. I have 3 kids who don't know how to pray for themselves and that is😧
Only now do I understand what scripture means about being equally yoked as husband and wife. We are spiritually worlds apart. I tried so many times to bring light in this regard but we're just not yoking. Now my spirit is unsettled in the church so I've decided to leave the church but now my whole marriage is suffering. He is especially suffering and feels like I'm crushing his world. To me it t feels like the best decision I'll ever make for myself
What are your thoughts on the Bible saying women should not be pastors or head of the church teaching men the word of God
I have many thoughts on this. As a woman pastor, I help people understand the Bible in its proper culture and context. There has been so much taught on why Paul's "command" was directed at those two specific churches and the reasons why. Paul himself co-ministered with several women (Priscilla, Junia, Phoebe, and more). I actually love talking about this topic and am so blessed to know who I am in Christ and to be used in His service to help transform both women and men's lives for the glory of God. If you're genuinely curious, there is much teaching right here on CZcams about these matters. Here also is a very helpful article. 5qcentral.com/women-leaders-nt/. And lastly, the Bible itself testifies of itself from Old to New Testament, God's heart has and will always be for all people to walk in their God-given gifts, anointing, and authority. Blessings to you.
Pastor?? You know what paul said in Timothy, all scripture is God breathed why are you wilfully disobeying God? Hebrews10:26 and then Matthew7:21-23... I dont want that for you. Luke13:3 🙏💚
Sigh. I don't and won't defend myself or the countless other spirit-filled women of God who are called to the pastorate. I suggest you read those Scriptures in context and their cultural context. There have been many great books written about the validity women in ministry. Find some and may the Lord open your eyes.