Small Soldiers - Nostalgia Critic

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  • čas přidán 23. 08. 2024
  • Dumb things come in small packages. The Nostalgia Critic reviews 1998's Small Soldiers. Originally aired on August 12th, 2014.
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Komentáře • 4,2K

  • @Chaserbeastofblades
    @Chaserbeastofblades Před 5 lety +599

    You know what would've been the perfect line for when he killed Chip? "Consider this your dishonorable discharge!" That works sooooooo much better.

    • @FatherTime89
      @FatherTime89 Před 4 lety +40

      That’s a pretty good one liner for the situation, I honestly don’t know if anyone could top that

    • @adamloga3788
      @adamloga3788 Před 4 lety +31

      @@FatherTime89 Closest I've got is a play on "Batteries not Included."

    • @sleepykitty8918
      @sleepykitty8918 Před 4 lety +16

      O_O
      That was gold!

    • @djivoodoo1751
      @djivoodoo1751 Před 4 lety +26

      If they would've left out the "You stupid toy!" it would've been perfect. Chip kicks Archer to the ground and says "Victory is ours!" then Allen says "Have I got a shock for you!" grabs Chip and places him in the transformer. Would've been a great one liner pun but "You stupid toy!" ruined it.

    • @jackcutter2
      @jackcutter2 Před 3 lety +9

      Gross. Discharge

  • @NoTodoEsArte1
    @NoTodoEsArte1 Před 8 lety +4462

    This is the kind of movie you watched as a kid and tried to remember its name for the rest of your life

    • @biff.
      @biff. Před 8 lety +115

      Lol just remembered the movie by reading the title.

    • @bergonath8851
      @bergonath8851 Před 8 lety +13

      God damn, Kurosawa looks like a giant.

    • @themarvin01
      @themarvin01 Před 8 lety +93

      It was one of my favorites. I had two of the gorgons and like three of the soldiers.
      God did the marketing work and I wanted them all of course.

    • @sammcdonald8407
      @sammcdonald8407 Před 8 lety +12

      I can't agree with you anymore

    • @EVO6-
      @EVO6- Před 8 lety +9

      EXACTLY

  • @bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257

    R.I.P. Dick Miller.
    Also, one detail the movie made was that the Commando toys, (except for Tommy Lee Jones), were voiced by actual veterans of the army, navy, etc.

  • @TheQuashingoftheTub
    @TheQuashingoftheTub Před 5 lety +631

    Not gonna lie, the animation and puppetry still impresses me to this day.

    • @sonnygivens4549
      @sonnygivens4549 Před 3 lety +25

      Yea I thought coming into this video I would be surprised at how bad it looked even tho I still loved the movie as a kid ...but you're totally right it looks really good even in 2021 like I said I was expecting something closer to how the first toy story looks today,. But it definitely isn't like that at all...when small soldiers first came out it scared the shit out of me it wasn't until a few years later that i watched it again and it became my favorite VHS I owned. Also that barbie being chipped and tying the kid down scene made 7 or 8 year old me feel very at the time unexplainably weird ... LOL I now know what was happening to me hahaha I think those scenes were the first time 10 year old me really started to see girls in a little bit of a different way lol

  • @mickdipiano8768
    @mickdipiano8768 Před 3 lety +103

    Are you fucking kidding? Small soldiers was amazing. It's a beloved classic.

  • @hayo_hru
    @hayo_hru Před 5 lety +304

    The Commando Elite vs Gorgonites idea would've been a great cartoon show and would have spawned dozens of toy opportunities if done right

    • @TheNoble117
      @TheNoble117 Před 3 lety +23

      Honestly as a kid it felt like He-man vs gi joe .

    • @TheSweetser69
      @TheSweetser69 Před 3 lety +2

      What is Avatar?

    • @LittleAl016
      @LittleAl016 Před 3 lety +4

      @@TheNoble117 More like He-Man vs COBRA.

    • @powerist209
      @powerist209 Před 2 lety +12

      We call that Warhammer 40k.
      Especially if you have Space Marines and Imperial Guard against Orks, Eldars, or Tau.

    • @hayo_hru
      @hayo_hru Před 2 lety +1

      @@powerist209 true, but i was more thinking something made for kids, 40k definitely isn't made for kids lmao

  • @wizagab
    @wizagab Před 5 lety +188

    This movie had everything. Amazing looking characters to get as figurines, your first girl crush, action scenes with battles, what do you want more ? Also, the concept started by "The Indian in the cupboard" was so enticing to me, having been a lone child who spent so many hours playing with figurines and making up dialogues and plots in my head.

    • @calebmauer1751
      @calebmauer1751 Před 4 lety +5

      Same, even the Indian in the Cupboard part.

    • @Zerpderp0
      @Zerpderp0 Před 2 lety +5

      Unironically me too. Loved this movie and the battle at the end was the cherry in my opinion. Though I do agree with NC that it was a missed opportunity to have other Major Chip Hazards commanding squads with the main one being the general of the army. I mean they already ripped off Patton

    • @Aethryx
      @Aethryx Před 2 lety +6

      I can't wait for the modern reboot, "The Indigenous Person of Color in the Cupboard"

  • @Wertsir
    @Wertsir Před 5 lety +1587

    I unironically love this movie.

    • @wowgek7
      @wowgek7 Před 5 lety +45

      same

    • @Tacomans_56
      @Tacomans_56 Před 5 lety +87

      This was my favorite movie growing up so im a little salty that he has issues with it

    • @apex2000
      @apex2000 Před 4 lety +18

      That's fair, but it has it's flaws & lost potential.

    • @RequiemPoete
      @RequiemPoete Před 4 lety +27

      @@Tacomans_56 The movie is awful, but it's the good kind of the awful.

    • @brandonbonett6416
      @brandonbonett6416 Před 4 lety +5

      Same

  • @vicenteortegarubilar9418
    @vicenteortegarubilar9418 Před 6 lety +741

    I honestly love the ending when the gorgonites are in their ship trying to find their home. I always felt it was an emotional moment for me.

    • @EmpireRamzes
      @EmpireRamzes Před 5 lety +14

      agreed, if only we all could have such a moment

    • @d3ltaris83
      @d3ltaris83 Před 4 lety +19

      I always just thought that they eventually sank and short circuited ,and to this day still rest at the bottom of the river

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 Před 4 lety +9

      Vicente Ortega Rubilar me too it’s a beautiful scene, Archer and the Gorgonites are pure hearted toys

    • @SupportGamin2024
      @SupportGamin2024 Před 4 lety +1

      @Bad Cattitude you can't really use the word die when it comes to toys/robotic like beings.

    • @nicktechnubyte1184
      @nicktechnubyte1184 Před 4 lety +5

      This is a perfect movie to me!
      Nothing can convince me otherwise!

  • @bolbyballinger
    @bolbyballinger Před 6 lety +566

    I absolutely loved the contraptions the soldiers made.
    A nail gun turned into a machine gun?
    Freaking AWESOME!

    • @Tacomans_56
      @Tacomans_56 Před 5 lety +31

      I honestly dont like how he went in on this movie it was far from being bad. I always thought the design for the remote control cars with all the weapons on it was really cool. Also the Barbie scene was so clever idc what anyone says

    • @RequiemPoete
      @RequiemPoete Před 4 lety +14

      @@Tacomans_56 It's still a severely flawed movie. It's still highly entertaining though.

    • @ChimeraMK
      @ChimeraMK Před 4 lety +11

      @@Tacomans_56 Can you elaborate on how the Barbie scene was clever? I found it a little odd that the soldiers painted on camo underwear and how they were somehow able to mass produce the military chips.

    • @spectredeadgaming7874
      @spectredeadgaming7874 Před 4 lety +4

      Tacoman The main bulk of the video is to make fun of the movie just take it with a grain of salt it’s entertaining. But at the end of the video he summarized how he really feels about the movie all jokes aside. He even does this with movies he loves a lot it just jokes for the most part.

    • @thescottishgiant855
      @thescottishgiant855 Před 4 lety +3

      They nailed it

  • @JustinStinoStamosZamora42
    @JustinStinoStamosZamora42 Před 5 lety +146

    19:06 "I've always hated these things!"
    Nostalgia Critic: "Then why the hell do you collect them?"

    • @jonathanshields7414
      @jonathanshields7414 Před 4 lety +24

      Parents forcing their normative behavior on kids? I’m no SJW but I didn’t think this was that modern of a conflict. I think the OP misses the mark on this, not that it matters.

    • @kookycoconut
      @kookycoconut Před 4 lety +5

      Yeah I watched the video too

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly Před 3 lety +9

      To be fair, as a small kid I was into old Superman cartoons and my parents thought I was really into Superman so told all my relatives and their friends that if they couldn't think of a good gift idea they can always go with something Superman related and I'd love it. As a small kid it worked out fine, but as I grew older I wasn't into the character as much any more. Now I'm in my 30s and I still get gifted Superman shit. I can see the same lazy type of gifting leading to this teen girl having a Barbie collection. Although I never hated Superman, I did get tired of Superman gifts. I had other interests, but I was reduced to "the kid who loves Superman".

    • @keshiaanders6452
      @keshiaanders6452 Před 3 lety +9

      Must've been either hand-me-downs or unwanted gifts from relatives.

    • @tarfielarchelone2674
      @tarfielarchelone2674 Před 3 lety +3

      My sister has my grandmom and moms collection.
      My daughter has my wife's dolls but she doesn't like them either.

  • @charliedawson4877
    @charliedawson4877 Před 5 lety +444

    Are you scared?
    We're all scared.
    You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.
    This went Apocolypse Now real quick.

    • @Jozhster
      @Jozhster Před 4 lety +8

      I actually use that quote many times

    • @TheHalflingLad
      @TheHalflingLad Před 4 lety +4

      @@Jozhster Questions, so many questions...

    • @Jozhster
      @Jozhster Před 4 lety +4

      Vsevolod Shipitcyn I just like using random movie quotes in my vocabulary

    • @justanobadi6655
      @justanobadi6655 Před 3 lety +6

      you'd think it was a reference, but oddly enough it's not

    • @kruller
      @kruller Před 3 lety +3

      I LOVE how fucked up this entire sequence is.

  • @cheezemonkeyeater
    @cheezemonkeyeater Před 6 lety +288

    "They're not shielded from EMP. A nuclear blast would wipe them out."
    I'm pretty sure a nuclear blast would wipe out everything.

    • @mugsmctuggs1318
      @mugsmctuggs1318 Před 3 lety +20

      "They're not shielded from EMP. A nuclear blast would wipe them out."
      So you mean we should use an EMP then?
      "Oh uh, yea that's what I meant."

    • @trix10101
      @trix10101 Před 3 lety +5

      Twinkies would survive...

    • @DanteKrystal
      @DanteKrystal Před 3 lety +2

      Roaches tho

    • @cheezemonkeyeater
      @cheezemonkeyeater Před 3 lety +3

      @@DanteKrystal Roaches would die in a nuclear blast. It's just the fallout they'd survive.

  • @TheApoke
    @TheApoke Před 8 lety +657

    *I've always hated these things*
    "Then why do you collect them"
    Ever heard of Amiibos?

    • @Karoku2100
      @Karoku2100 Před 8 lety +38

      It's the opposite for me: I love amiibos, but I hate collecting them (cause some fall into scalper's hands).

    • @DantesGrill
      @DantesGrill Před 8 lety +1

      +Karnera Mythos It's not like they're that rare though. A lot of the amiibos scalpers bought i order to earn money are still available in stores for standard prices.

    • @ssjichigo666
      @ssjichigo666 Před 8 lety +6

      but the ones karnera is refering to is the limited release once like lucario, marth, etc, I'm still trying to find a mega man

    • @yugoxgc
      @yugoxgc Před 8 lety +13

      her parents bought them for her. Seriously shes in her early teens of course she didn't buy any of them not hard to guess mommy wanted her daughter to have a set. So that collection says a lot about her mother. ... I kinda want to meet her

    • @Karoku2100
      @Karoku2100 Před 8 lety +2

      Ssj Ichigo Right, and I happen to have Mega Man, as well as his gold version (but that's because I love the classic series and I have the collection for the 3DS). I also have Rosalina, Wii Fit Trainer, and Lucina, to name a few. I nabbed Callie & Marie on release day. Surprisingly, they were available for pre-order. They won't be for long, so I'm glad I secured my purchase.
      Amiibo-hunting is a dangerous game, lemme tell ya.

  • @ScruFaceJeanOfficial
    @ScruFaceJeanOfficial Před 3 lety +340

    They explained why the Gorgaknights were so Timid it’s a pretty big part of their whole creation story. 🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @jinhunterslay1638
      @jinhunterslay1638 Před 3 lety +15

      Which is?
      (I’m too lazy to look it up and read through the plot)

    • @vanburnjackson
      @vanburnjackson Před 3 lety +5

      This is random M

    • @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480
      @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 Před 3 lety +83

      @@jinhunterslay1638 they were supposed to be kid friendly educational toys, but when they were assigned the role of the soldier's enemy, they were literally designed to hide and lose.

    • @jinhunterslay1638
      @jinhunterslay1638 Před 3 lety +33

      @@futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 oh, so it's programmed into their personality?

    • @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480
      @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 Před 3 lety +20

      @@jinhunterslay1638 More or less

  • @bigbaddawg101
    @bigbaddawg101 Před 5 lety +270

    In the movie it was kind of explained how the Gorgonites got put as the enemy. The Gorgonites were the first toy pitch and the CEO didn't really go for it, but decided that the Commandos needed something to fight. I guess when programming the toys they kept the original story and personality for the Gorgonites which comes off as passive.
    And I just realized I'm beginning to care way to much about this movie.

    • @lethargictroll6788
      @lethargictroll6788 Před 4 lety +9

      I thought the same thing, thank you for typing it out

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 Před 4 lety +15

      That's fine, I like Doug, but this was a weak review.

    • @TheHalflingLad
      @TheHalflingLad Před 4 lety +22

      That's the thing: this movie is way too endearing, I feel the exact same way. The script may be unfocused, but I'll be damned if I ever cared, because the art design is too cool and the supporting cast has way too much personality. The main characters may be dumb even, but the commandos are just too much fun to watch, so I barely even noticed anything else.

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 Před 4 lety +7

      @@TheHalflingLad As a kid, I loved the Commando's, still do. They steal every scene they're in.

    • @kylemendoza8860
      @kylemendoza8860 Před 3 lety +2

      @@hardcoreking52
      I like the movie. Maybe I'm giving it some free passes because my childhood. But I think he made some good points. The whole Barbie thing is a little weird.

  • @MasterAnakinSkyWalker
    @MasterAnakinSkyWalker Před 6 lety +493

    Fun fact:
    Kirsten Dunst appeared in the Spider-Man trilogy, while Denis Leary appeared in The Amazing Spider-Man series.

  • @johnalogue9832
    @johnalogue9832 Před 8 lety +662

    Fun fact: The original Toy Story was almost canceled because Woody was originally a horribly unlikable and mean character. Pixar had to rewrite the movie before Disney would continue funding it! I think this movie is what it would be like if Pixar never rewrote Toy Story.

  • @mackfarlainethebarenakedau5113

    This was one of my childhood favorites. Hard to believe it's been 25 years

  • @Jell-E
    @Jell-E Před 5 lety +94

    This was one of my favorites growing up. I had most the gorganites. I had the really big Archer that said his movies quotes lol. I had no idea this was considered a bad movie. It’s a childhood classic in my mind.

    • @zellrang
      @zellrang Před 3 lety +10

      Same, there are still a lot of people who loves it, don't let other people change your mind :)

  • @ZoeyStarLady
    @ZoeyStarLady Před 8 lety +598

    Yess, Small Soldiers is a childhood favourite of mine.

  • @KimberlySchwartz1
    @KimberlySchwartz1 Před 6 lety +234

    I used to get collector Barbie dolls from a relative when I had never asked for them. I would have them up on a shelf in my room mainly because I didn’t know what else to do with them. So I completely understand why she has them up in her room without liking them.

    • @cjwrench07
      @cjwrench07 Před 4 lety +17

      Kimberly Schwartz My sister had that happen to her too. It wasn’t until she was 17 that the Barbie collectables stopped.

    • @annesmith280
      @annesmith280 Před 4 lety

      I’m assuming your barbie Dolls never tied you up and stuffed a sock in your mouth though?😂

    • @SjofnBM1989
      @SjofnBM1989 Před 4 lety +13

      @@jemofthe80s18 yeah my grandma bought me a new porcelain doll every year for my birthday and I had to keep them because my parents told me if I didn't have them displayed prominently when Grandma came to visit it would hurt her feelings.

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly Před 3 lety +7

      When I was a small boy I was really into Superman, so my parents told all my relatives and friends that they could get me anything Superman related and I would love it, and despite outgrowing that character, and despite being a grown adult in his 30s, I still get gifted Superman stuff. Albeit it transitioned from toys to clothing, I still get Superman stuff to this day. My mom still swears by it, and I really don't have the heart to tell her to stop. Honestly her reaction to me receiving the gift is more precious than the actual gift itself.

    • @floppsymoppsy5969
      @floppsymoppsy5969 Před 3 lety +2

      Yup collectables forced on us by relatives wanting to live vicariously through toy purchases... I guess that was mainly a girl's experience. My mom was obsessed with getting my sister and I porcelain baby dolls. (shiver)

  • @VanguardJester
    @VanguardJester Před 5 lety +39

    7:22
    you know, the skit at this timestamp here could actually be done very cleverly for a hero-villain dynamic. The villain is deceiving and putting on this facade of being harmless, if not downright charming. While the hero, though not exactly a knight in shining armor, is honest with who he is and holds no shame in presenting himself for you to fully see and judge on your own terms.
    i wouldn't mind a show or book about that kinda concept!

    • @cj854
      @cj854 Před rokem +7

      Berserk

    • @nickthepick8043
      @nickthepick8043 Před rokem +1

      That'd be an interesting concept for a comic adaptation of the war between the Gorgonites and the Commandos.

  • @briangardner7180
    @briangardner7180 Před 4 lety +64

    Not gonna lie...... This was my favorite movie as a kid and still is one of my favorites.

  • @demonssinglosongs
    @demonssinglosongs Před 6 lety +513

    'Normal Good Looking Boy Who for some Reason is still an Outcast'
    The sad reality of high school.

    • @blackdiamond9636
      @blackdiamond9636 Před 6 lety +12

      That Generic Smash Player tru dat

    • @jacksongibbs8998
      @jacksongibbs8998 Před 6 lety +25

      I was that kid, except I had a mouth bigger than Tyrion Lanister and a sense of humor that was at best a combination of Adam Sandler, and Bugs Bunny.

    • @kameronhall4448
      @kameronhall4448 Před 6 lety +6

      Jackson Gibbs You too?!

    • @angeleaterstudios1004
      @angeleaterstudios1004 Před 6 lety +9

      Being currently in high school, i can confirm this statement exactly. Except I'm kinda chunky in the gut area. But other than that I'm a general freakishly tall teenage boy who has been outcastes for no real reason other than I make dark humor memes.

    • @chrishansen8119
      @chrishansen8119 Před 5 lety +9

      Yall are probably outcasts because you dont talk to anyone. Confidence is key

  • @jagarcia0705
    @jagarcia0705 Před 6 lety +348

    7:28 Awesome! Devil Boner's first appearance! *HE'S CHILD FRIENDLY!!*

    • @lordkarasu2263
      @lordkarasu2263 Před 5 lety +1

      jagarcia0705 is it?

    • @victorconway444
      @victorconway444 Před 4 lety +6

      *I'M SOFT AND CUDDLY!!*

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 Před 4 lety +1

      jagarcia0705 put me on a cereal box!

    • @I_am_Mazki
      @I_am_Mazki Před 4 lety +1

      i would legitimately watch a show with the hero being devils boner kinda like a hero nobody likes but he is a hero anyway kinda thing

  • @noahblair3020
    @noahblair3020 Před 5 lety +25

    Devilboner: the movie
    Rated r starts this friday
    “Sometimes appearances can be deceiving, yet he’s the hero”

  • @megamovieman101
    @megamovieman101 Před 5 lety +49

    With Small Soldiers I thought there was more mileage to be had from the soldier characters, they actually ended up being more popular than the Gorgonites.

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 Před 2 lety +3

      They stole so many scenes, the little war card they made were awesome.

  • @Salmon_Samurai
    @Salmon_Samurai Před 8 lety +191

    Genuinely surprised Devil Boner isn't a Borderlands character or boss.

  • @dakotakade3547
    @dakotakade3547 Před 8 lety +137

    I honestly loved Small Soldiers when I was little. It was like a more toned down Gremlins, other than that insane barbie scene. That shit was traumatizing.

    • @tdkfangirl
      @tdkfangirl Před 8 lety

      Exactly!

    • @noahcampbell8785
      @noahcampbell8785 Před 8 lety

      +Callutts same!

    • @Neseirik
      @Neseirik Před 8 lety +7

      I always loved the movie. the barbie scene never bothered me. I still have it on VHS :) none of my friends had any idea that the movie existed. I tried talking to htem about it and they would always tell me I must have made it up

    • @Wolfmoonsword
      @Wolfmoonsword Před 8 lety +6

      I'm glad I'm not the only one whom, upon seeing this review, remembered the fucking creepy barbie doll scene shit lol.

    • @ciminod
      @ciminod Před 7 lety

      i liked this movie too i like having the toys destroying shit in movies

  • @rooster5146
    @rooster5146 Před 5 lety +65

    NO small soldiers was great

  • @kelvingoce7587
    @kelvingoce7587 Před 5 lety +17

    “So Archer goes into the DANGER ZONE!!!, you were all waiting for it I caved in” 😂 that line always cracked me up

  • @TheKML777
    @TheKML777 Před 8 lety +10

    22:57 I have a better bad-ass finishing line for that situation:
    "You are dishonorably discharged."

  • @0123renee
    @0123renee Před 6 lety +463

    Because I have to make this joke...
    YOU! ARE! JUST! TOOOOOYYYYS!!!! You aren't the real Small Soldiers, you're... DAAAH, you're just action figures! You... are a _child's... playthings!_

    • @98953812
      @98953812 Před 5 lety +23

      @Tim Henke Oh yeah?! Well, good riddance, ya loonies!!

    • @t.lanfield1936
      @t.lanfield1936 Před 5 lety +8

      24AMPER you are a sad strange little man. And you have my respect.

    • @nine_tails137
      @nine_tails137 Před 5 lety +4

      +Lucas Pospeshil It's a Toy story reference.

    • @noahblair3020
      @noahblair3020 Před 5 lety +2

      Good riddance ya loonies!

    • @noahblair3020
      @noahblair3020 Před 5 lety +4

      YOU. ARE. A. TOY!!!!!

  • @mikehenderson7907
    @mikehenderson7907 Před 5 lety +43

    The new Child's Play has the same plot as this, with the military chip bullshit.
    This did it better though. Somehow...

  • @bryanrizzo9377
    @bryanrizzo9377 Před 4 lety +27

    Allens dad-"How do you explain this?!"
    Allen-"I was dusting it and it fell over."
    Allens dad-"Oh you were dusting with what a Crokay Mallet?"
    This is in the scene where Allens dad goes to check on him at the store and he notices something wrong with the wooden sailboat and the sail snaps off. The dad cracks me up in that scene.

  • @purpleemerald5299
    @purpleemerald5299 Před 7 lety +140

    Are you scared?
    We're all scared...
    *...You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.*
    Me: "Oh, good. So my new-found nightmares are justified then..."

    • @alexestrada2757
      @alexestrada2757 Před 5 lety +7

      Label this under "Things not to say in bed"

    • @LadyOnikara
      @LadyOnikara Před 2 lety +2

      Yep, and I thought my Teddy Ruxpin doll in 1985 was scary. If I had a toy like Chip back then, I would STILL be living in a padded cell writing home with crayons. (Well, sometimes I do, but it's completely voluntary.)

    • @LadyOnikara
      @LadyOnikara Před 2 lety +1

      Yep, and I thought my Teddy Ruxpin doll in 1985 was scary. If I had a toy like Chip back then, I would STILL be living in a padded cell writing home with crayons. (Well, sometimes I do, but it's completely voluntary.)

  • @gamerhero9559
    @gamerhero9559 Před 8 lety +11

    14:46 That horrified look on NC's face is priceless!

  • @bulbasaur1534
    @bulbasaur1534 Před 5 lety +16

    7:40 around: "PUT ME IN A CEREAL BOX"!
    I would do that, if in power sir, that sounds incredibly dope, perhaps instead we give you a movie instead?

  • @william1988-dec
    @william1988-dec Před rokem +4

    R.I.P. Phil Hartman. His final film before his tragic death.

  • @ChannelAwesome
    @ChannelAwesome  Před 8 lety +1224

    Devil Boner Hype!

    • @Shad_Amon
      @Shad_Amon Před 8 lety +16

      yes the hype of DEVIL BONER!!!!!!

    • @Derpsider
      @Derpsider Před 8 lety +5

      mine always shrinks after I see a re upload ):

    • @ilcool90
      @ilcool90 Před 8 lety +28

      He needs he's own series

    • @lavornewilliams413
      @lavornewilliams413 Před 8 lety +1

      lol yeah hypee!!

    • @jaccuse4086
      @jaccuse4086 Před 8 lety +5

      One time we threw a firework into the firepit that lets out a "snake" of ash ascending towards the heavens. However, seeing as it was growing out of a firepit it looked more like hell so I called said firework "Satan's Boner".

  • @Bobman-ml5qf
    @Bobman-ml5qf Před 7 lety +57

    21:32 I loved the extra soldier that said: "Great balls of fi-" *dies*. That made me laugh, more of chuckled.

  • @notmakingcontent
    @notmakingcontent Před 5 lety +42

    YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RODEO BURGER!

    • @316whatupz
      @316whatupz Před 4 lety

      BUT WHAT'S BEYOND THAT? 😂🤣

    • @Puki9117
      @Puki9117 Před 3 lety

      @@316whatupz [INSERT CLICHE HERE]

  • @chloegoodwin2482
    @chloegoodwin2482 Před rokem +21

    "It's not good to take something marketed as innocent and cute and make it tortuous and scary"
    I love that Doug managed to get to the point that the movie is trying to make but tripped into it in the most insane, ignorant and backwards way possible and without actually realizing that was the point of the movie.
    In case anyone doesn't realize, the filmmaker is satirising marketing war and violence for consumerism, that's why the soldiers are the bad guys and why the movie is intentionally creepy and off-putting with surprisingly realistic violence being inflicted on the toys.

    • @TIMMUT17
      @TIMMUT17 Před 6 měsíci +1

      You hit the nail on the head with that one (No pun intended)

  • @woodwoo9466
    @woodwoo9466 Před 7 lety +257

    'like, oh my god, this is totally Sparta.'- Nostalgia Critic 2016

    • @useless2232
      @useless2232 Před 7 lety +4

      wood woo This review came out in 2014

    • @stefanm.734
      @stefanm.734 Před 6 lety +4

      I honestly think that would have been a great line if it had been included.

  • @cancerousgaminginc.6956
    @cancerousgaminginc.6956 Před 7 lety +91

    What a coincidence my grandma's name is Devilboner

    • @realkz3324
      @realkz3324 Před 7 lety +5

      Cancerous Gaming Inc.
      Strange, my third sons name is devilboner.

    • @useless2232
      @useless2232 Před 7 lety +4

      2ndUltimo Weird, my stepaunt's cat's name is Usingthesamejoke

    • @EternalStorm796
      @EternalStorm796 Před 7 lety +3

      Hm....that's funny..
      My step-nephew's name is, Frank.

    • @c.lawnmower_
      @c.lawnmower_ Před 6 lety +2

      Cancerous Gaming Inc. Hey! What a coincidence! So's my cousin!

  • @thomaslatimer571
    @thomaslatimer571 Před rokem +5

    I’m 28 still love this movie. Good cast & a lot of fun!

  • @breffaloco
    @breffaloco Před 5 lety +55

    my top 5 favorite movies as a kid No joke....this movie had everything haha
    1. toys
    2. Toys vs toys
    3 Toys turn into a army and begin there world domaination plan lol.

  • @pastelsunset
    @pastelsunset Před 7 lety +53

    I have one thing that came from Dreamworks to counter this movie
    The Road to El Dorado

  • @dnaidentheperson6497
    @dnaidentheperson6497 Před 6 lety +287

    The Barbie part was like something from the dark web.😂

  • @gageperuti5519
    @gageperuti5519 Před 3 lety +5

    One thing he doesn't bring up is this was Phil Hartman's last role before his murder. There's even a dedication to him at the end.

  • @Regular_1094
    @Regular_1094 Před 2 lety +3

    "Are you scared? Were all scared. You'd have to be crazy, not to be scared" cmon I remember that quote, its burned in my memory.

  • @MovieLover1995
    @MovieLover1995 Před 7 lety +109

    This movie is Gremlins, Toy Story, and Child's Play all put in a blender.

  • @ryanbompane3959
    @ryanbompane3959 Před 8 lety +4

    11:15 That part always scared me as a kid. I guess I was just really disturbed at watching an action figure get brutally murdered in a garbage disposal.

  • @emmathestonedspider8676
    @emmathestonedspider8676 Před 4 lety +48

    I love how the mom sees this and automatically assumes he is on meth

  • @lordkarasu2263
    @lordkarasu2263 Před 5 lety +10

    14:40-“you know, for kids”

  • @scottkrafft6830
    @scottkrafft6830 Před 7 lety +157

    2:18 "Advanced battlefield technology" *shows 1950s tanks*

  • @burgrmeister9224
    @burgrmeister9224 Před 7 lety +28

    "Burger King, We're fucking scary"

    • @buda9652
      @buda9652 Před 7 lety +3

      Burgrmeister your profile picture fits your comment

  • @astridweasley
    @astridweasley Před 4 lety +4

    18:00
    This film was not originally meant to be a family friendly film. It wasn’t until half way through filming that the studio decided to tone it down. So they just kept in the crazy Barbie shit instead of reshooting it or cutting it out entirely.

  • @Comrade_Jason
    @Comrade_Jason Před 5 lety +63

    To review this film fairly, you need to go be a 90s kid again. It was pure fun, didn't treat kids with kids' gloves and had a rather serious (and unintentional?) message about AI and not abusing technology. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie as a kid, and I still had some of the toys till not too long ago. As an adult, yeah it's gonna be shit. But as a kid? It's everything I wanted in a movie

    • @Emisop
      @Emisop Před 5 lety +5

      Treating it fairly means not acting like a 90's kid. Because kids liked everything.

    • @maxieprimo2758
      @maxieprimo2758 Před 5 lety +2

      To review this film fairly, you have to ignore it's flaws.

    • @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907
      @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907 Před 4 lety

      @@Emisop no, i remember being a kid and watching godzilla final wars...
      that shit was horrible

    • @cthulhufhtagn2483
      @cthulhufhtagn2483 Před 4 lety

      *thinks of Barbie dolls* You liked some straaaange things as a kid.

    • @theitfactorjameswheezer2852
      @theitfactorjameswheezer2852 Před 4 lety

      Brianna Chiavetta i watched movies like Robocop and Halloween as a kid for fun. Guess im different

  • @tdkfangirl
    @tdkfangirl Před 8 lety +84

    This movie disturbed me when I was little...

    • @nickwalco
      @nickwalco Před 8 lety

      the trailer disturbed me!

    • @NickZephyr
      @NickZephyr Před 8 lety +3

      ME TOO!!! I had it on VHS but I never watched it cause I was too scared.

    • @uguubella
      @uguubella Před 8 lety +2

      OMG SAME!! here's hoping that critic can overcome my nostalgia fears =v=;;;

    • @TetsuoSlade
      @TetsuoSlade Před 8 lety +1

      The soldier with the huge green creeped me out

    • @NN-zj2jq
      @NN-zj2jq Před 7 lety +2

      Callutts Pussy

  • @MrFredstt
    @MrFredstt Před 7 lety +36

    This movie was my shit as a kid. I'm so glad my grandpa introduced it to me

  • @SofaPop.
    @SofaPop. Před 5 lety +67

    I thought small soldiers was great,it’s a classic,an obscure classic but still good!

  • @benheinrich4306
    @benheinrich4306 Před 5 lety +4

    23:53
    Ironically in Norse mythology, there is a squirrel. Named ratatoskr, he is a giant squirrel who runs between the branches of Yggdrasil, the world tree. Don’t boss him off, he is the size of a double decker bus and will kill you faster than you can say “Shit!”

  • @danielisnotafluid4175
    @danielisnotafluid4175 Před 6 lety +99

    Oh my god... the toy maker is Ian from Alvin and the Chipmunks...

  • @mazdaford8547
    @mazdaford8547 Před 8 lety +136

    i assumed all the barbies were made the same to be cheaper to animate i guess, not sure why they had to be in their underwear tho, maybe just shove them in some military camo

    • @johnalogue9832
      @johnalogue9832 Před 8 lety +34

      Well, if they wanted to put them in army-themed costumes...they probably would've given them army costumes because there are probably Barbie outfits like that already and it would look pretty awesome. They DEFINITELY just wanted underwear Frankenstein Barbies for some weird reason.

    • @010203109
      @010203109 Před 7 lety +4

      Well gee, clothes that give no protection and hinder movement unlike the painted on ones on the action figures? Sure, put those back on to make a scene that's supposed to be just plain freaky attempt to be funny and end up confusing.

    • @HushpuppyJas
      @HushpuppyJas Před 7 lety +2

      Matt Lionrider you're putting too much thought into it

  • @matthewxbradley7102
    @matthewxbradley7102 Před 5 lety +7

    0:41 I think Doug predicted the new child’s play reboot movie. Including the red eye thing.

  • @mjwatts1983
    @mjwatts1983 Před 5 lety +11

    20:50
    This film was released after Hartman’s death

  • @adorablecockroach5131
    @adorablecockroach5131 Před 8 lety +275

    15:00 Fetish? FETISH!!!! That is nightmare fuel not a fucking fetish!

    • @tinnyle2719
      @tinnyle2719 Před 8 lety +41

      people have their kinks

    • @DopeioThePhoneBoi
      @DopeioThePhoneBoi Před 7 lety +24

      Jimmy Bettis
      Ever heard of a Nightmare Fetishist?

    • @iamaunicorn1232
      @iamaunicorn1232 Před 7 lety +25

      Someone hasn't been on that side of DeviantArt. Vore, inflation, plastization, all are creepy and will show up in your nightmares.

    • @deer5319
      @deer5319 Před 7 lety +3

      Kaleigh Anderson yep

    • @jonesfrom9661
      @jonesfrom9661 Před 7 lety +23

      Jimmy Bettis
      One person's nightmare,is another person's fetish

  • @freak0n182
    @freak0n182 Před 8 lety +115

    that trump reference... if only he knew.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer Před 8 lety +33

      I've seen NC mentioning Donald Trump in some really old videos, like from 2008
      It was during that era when Trump was buying everything and seemed just a strange millionaire, not a psycho candidate for president of the US

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects Před 8 lety

      why do you think is a psycho?

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects Před 8 lety +6

      matt sweatgast Well, i want to know what people see so upsetting about Trump. People call him racist, homophobe, mysoginistic, xenophobe, etc. and i didn't hear anything from his own mouth that could even suggest something like that. I am just confused about why some people hate him so much. Looks like they are just twisting his words just like the media does.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer Před 8 lety +12

      ArminMeiwes23
      Find another guy to interview and let me just have my opinon without explanation thank you

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects Před 8 lety +5

      matt sweatgast Ok, i will continue to be confused i guess. Don't you think this is an irracional fear of yours? if not, please, explain.

  • @mrowley7300
    @mrowley7300 Před 5 lety +10

    I loved this movie as a kid and still love it now

  • @ridesharingservices5548
    @ridesharingservices5548 Před 4 lety +7

    At 15:10 he both says and shows on screen "Sexually Confused Arousal Therapy" or SCAT which is a fetish to do with feces right after saying FE TISH MO VIE.
    Took me 2 mins to catch my breath from laughing.

  • @MeliWoW
    @MeliWoW Před 6 lety +58

    Still got this on vhs

  • @ragejoona431
    @ragejoona431 Před 6 lety +47

    7:33 and that's how the greatest Nostalgia Critic character got started.

  • @jacob_filmmaker
    @jacob_filmmaker Před 5 lety +7

    4:31 ALAN 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @justygilberts4336
    @justygilberts4336 Před 5 lety +15

    2016 Me: Oh this devil Bonner seems dumb. He won't come back.
    2019 Me: Damit I love Devil Bonner. Where is he?

    • @Vamoss39
      @Vamoss39 Před 5 lety +3

      You don't miss him enough to spell "Boner" right....

  • @gamebrielthegreat8027
    @gamebrielthegreat8027 Před 6 lety +56

    And thus, on this day. A recurring character was born.

  • @BigDylan66
    @BigDylan66 Před 6 lety +13

    I completely loved this film and wished it had a sequel. When I first saw it I bought a bunch of the gorganites and I still have my archer one on my shelf.

  • @eamonclark4952
    @eamonclark4952 Před rokem +1

    “Like oh my god this is totally Sparta”
    The best line in the review

  • @Batchall_Accepted
    @Batchall_Accepted Před 4 lety +23

    Say what you want about this movie, Tommy Lee's delivery is spot on the whole time.
    His character alone makes this movie watchable.

  • @AdmiralBison
    @AdmiralBison Před 6 lety +124

    RIP Phil Hartman.

    • @kasrakhatir
      @kasrakhatir Před 5 lety +2

      His last movie 😢

    • @rdphoenix07
      @rdphoenix07 Před 5 lety +4

      This was his last movie? I never knew that. I really miss his characters on The Simpsons. No more Troy McClure or Lionel Huntz.

    • @CvltCrypt
      @CvltCrypt Před 5 lety +6

      RIP Dick Miller, also.

  • @andrewmontgomery5621
    @andrewmontgomery5621 Před 6 lety +49

    Those deformed Barbie dolls look and sound like Frau Engel in Wolfenstein: The New Order and New Colossus.

  • @samd8018
    @samd8018 Před 2 lety +3

    9:27 the wilhelm scream I completely missed as a kid, lol.

  • @lordneraxis8051
    @lordneraxis8051 Před 5 lety +6

    This is still one of my all time favorite movies from my childhood.

  • @Goofygooberston
    @Goofygooberston Před 8 lety +129

    Ugh I loved this movie as a kid. TBH: I saw this before I saw toystory.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer Před 8 lety +6

      I think all ripoffs are counting on these people who did not see the original.

    • @milkoflegends
      @milkoflegends Před 8 lety

      +James A ooooo I heard about that mortal combat, in buy it, Lou Cane is the best XD, I don't know why I never played games before, :)

    • @Brevincampbell12
      @Brevincampbell12 Před 8 lety

      After watching the reviews I kinda want to see this movie

    • @Zejgar
      @Zejgar Před 8 lety +1

      But aren't you "locked" onto the original once you familiarize yourself with it, lessening the chances of being "fooled" by knockoffs? I think they depend on people who haven't familiarized themselves with the original, but are vaguely aware of the original's idea.
      Mind you, if something's a knockoff, it does not automatically make it bad.

    • @abigaillane5995
      @abigaillane5995 Před 8 lety

      I loved it. It's a really fun watch. I think the Critic's getting too old.

  • @akshaykumar_r
    @akshaykumar_r Před 6 lety +45

    "PUT ME ON A CEREAL BOX!"

    • @98953812
      @98953812 Před 5 lety +7

      HE'S CHILD FRIENDLY!!

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 Před 4 lety +4

      Akshay Ravi Kumar PART OF THIS COMPLETE BREAKFAST, BUY MY TOYS!

    • @jamesgilbert6023
      @jamesgilbert6023 Před 3 lety +1

      "My mother never loved me" and i would buy his cereal

  • @SlewedBoot25934
    @SlewedBoot25934 Před 5 lety +16

    *YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RODEO BURGER*

  • @goldenblue8991
    @goldenblue8991 Před 5 lety +13

    I remember the Small Soldiers Burger King commercial as well.

    • @kylemendoza8860
      @kylemendoza8860 Před 3 lety

      Where the commandos actually marketed as the good guys?

  • @hanibalking7841
    @hanibalking7841 Před 6 lety +62

    I loved this movie to the point when I seen it on Netflix I had. My kids watch it lol

  • @TheRedneckRoman16
    @TheRedneckRoman16 Před 7 lety +45

    .... The creepy thing about that Buzz was that you just moved its eyes ONLY SLIGHTLY.

    • @MarthaRoseQuartz
      @MarthaRoseQuartz Před 6 lety +1

      TheRedneckRoman16 I know, right? And it made me laugh!

  • @CvltCrypt
    @CvltCrypt Před 5 lety +6

    Loved it as a kid and now I am in my early 30s and still love it. Can't wait to show this movie to my children.

  • @Poyopoyo007
    @Poyopoyo007 Před 3 měsíci +6

    15:20. My hypothesis. Budget. It’s cheaper to use the same 3 or 4 models than to make dozens of different models.

  • @darrellng7617
    @darrellng7617 Před 6 lety +17

    that line in the lab, with the microchips..surprising after 20years, it's not even sci-fi anymore.

  • @amadmadmadhatter276
    @amadmadmadhatter276 Před 6 lety +80

    I loved this movie as a kid. and I even thought the barbie part was ok, and a bit funny when they attack the main character and the boyfriend.

    • @TheDRODOR
      @TheDRODOR Před 3 lety

      This movie is great, don't feel ashamed lol

  • @prussiangermansoldier2987

    The archer joke is at 22:48 thank me later

  • @dannigro8794
    @dannigro8794 Před 2 lety +8

    I loved this movie as a kid it was a bit dark but I enjoyed playing with the toys

  • @bookcookie3907
    @bookcookie3907 Před 7 lety +56

    I remember when I was little and after me and my brother watched this he got a Chip Hazard action figure and it scared the crap out of me

  • @HunterSlayer2727
    @HunterSlayer2727 Před 6 lety +104

    The Commander toy reminds me of the Commander from Avatar 😂

    • @MrAnimater_Vr
      @MrAnimater_Vr Před 6 lety +21

      Elle Calladine it's technically the same concept
      Soldiers people look up to go and take out the aliens but turns out the aliens are good and the commander is just a dick to them lol
      This was basically Toy Avatar

    • @americaforever2798
      @americaforever2798 Před 6 lety +5

      The Commander was the best part of that movie.

    • @thatguybrody4819
      @thatguybrody4819 Před 5 lety +3

      You just blew my goddamn mind

    • @GreatMewtwo
      @GreatMewtwo Před 5 lety +1

      I wonder now if James Cameron saw this.

    • @geoffreysorkin5774
      @geoffreysorkin5774 Před 5 lety +3

      @@GreatMewtwo Maybe he saw it on HBO right after FernGully in 2001 or 2002.

  • @MyAmbianceLiveNow
    @MyAmbianceLiveNow Před 4 lety +5

    9:54!!!! 😂😂😂😂

  • @LibertyLocalizer
    @LibertyLocalizer Před 5 lety +5

    13:46. And theeeeeeeennnn