How To Spot a Narcissist, Outsmart Toxic People & Survive Narcissism | Dr. Les Carter
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- Dr. Les Carter is a clinical psychotherapist, CZcamsr, best selling author, and narcissism expert helping individuals understand and heal from narcissistic abuse.
Today on the show we discuss: the easiest way to detect narcissism, signs you’re dating a narcissist, the truth about things like gaslighting and love bombing, common misconceptions about narcissism, how to outsmart a narcissist and take their power away, what you must do to heal after a toxic relationship and much more.
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Great episode - Thank you. I think Dr. Carter, in conjunction with Dr. Grande, and Dr. Ramani are the PILLARS of understanding narcissism and combating narcissistic abuse.
And Sam Vaknin
In addition ,
other great professionals , some of them also interviewed by dr Ramani and dr Carter),
Mr Jerry Wise
Dr Nicole LePera
Dr Erin Watson (she has just started a yt channel)
Dr Rebecca Mandeville
Dr Lindsay Gibson
And Rebecca Zung, too!!
(And many others, life savers and life changing 🌟 )
Sam Vankin too
Definitely Sam Vaknin.
A day without Dr Carter ☀️ is like a day without sunshine. 💕 ☮️ 🙏
Don’t bother. It’s like talking to a wall. Walk away with your health, peace of mind, dignity, and respect.
What if the narcissist is the love of your life and you know she is the love of your life and there could never be anyone to replace her …
You have a false sense of who she is.
@@kelleyf Where in the comment does it say anything about a woman?
Yes don't bother with them.
Doctor Ramani always says.....go DEEP....DON'T.....EXPLAIN, don't ENGAGE, don't PERSONALIZE.
Definitely if you can walk away....Do it!!!
@@LOVEISTRUTH300 Absolutely.
These narcissists know exactly what they are doing. They decide their partners very carefully. They know they will be very capable. Thank you for bringing us helpful information. 🌹
Oh forsure they do
@t I have known two older women that have been married to Narcs. Both of these poor women have similar facial features, never ending frowns, a defensive posture,24/7. They look like they have been tortured for decades, go figure. So sad. Divorce sounds like a solution, but, but…..
@@markthomas4083 But do they have families, are they coercively controlled?
I've notice others who have gotten the divorce but are still suffering. Dr Ramini has spoken on this.
It is much easier to learn now than ever before.
Do you realize there weren't laws to protect when against abuse and a woman couldn't even have a bank account without a man opening it for them?
It isn't like everyone was always on a level playing field and it still isn't.
I agree - they know
@@mcc208 They can't be relied on for truths. Finally, it's all you come to want.
Dr Les Carter is a life saver. Bless him. Surviving Narcissism channel is the place to be to learn everything about this subject and be blessed by hanging out with this person and his wisdom and guidance🌻🐾✨🍃DRC dignity respect and civility as Dr C says!
"We think differently."
Thank you Dr. C
Calm Firmness &
Delicate Detatchment will create a bold boundary.
I've been dealing with my narcissist boyfriend for 20 years and I didn't not realize he is narcissistic until a few months after living with him. I may say don't waste your time with this type of person it's a roller-coaster ride and so not worth it unless you giving your entire life to them RUN DON'T DATE THEM YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR IDENTITY. You have to be strong
Narcissists need to know!!!! They don't see how they are, what they do hurts people. They are the exception in their minds.
They don't care !
🚩 "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time" -- Maya Angelou 🎯💯
My life has been 90%. Mother, four sisters, two husbands, all my inlaws and both kids. They are not just symptoms but full blown characteristics of varying degrees and levels of power, control and control and abuse. When I began to learn three years ago, for the first time my whole life made sense...
Great episode! I love Dr Les Carter - so down to earth and kind, yet still has strong boundaries. Talks about the nuances of narcissistic abuse so well
Thank you for getting him on and for all of your great questions! Very thorough interview covering so much!
I love your channel Dr C.
In high school, one boy me that I’m really pretty, but I have slightly bow legged, so I answered back that it’s the same him truth that he is handsome wit an elephant ears 😂😂😂😂
"I'm happy with the way I do me" . I learned this from Dr Carter. That one statement changed my life. It was about me not trying to reason with a Narcissist, which is futile, but instead stand my ground. I've used it a few times, and John was silent. He's my former Husband. I am his part time carer as a volunteer. He's sectioned at present, so I'm having a desperately needed break from him. Not everyone can just cut the Narcissist off, so advice like that is helping me to cope much better. Thanks Dr Carter.
Without actually using the terminology, I asked my mother how she felt when somebody hurt because of something she did? She said she enjoyed it. I swear she’s pure evil.
I can NOT believe any human like this exists!
😳
my EX... cannot control his intake of FOOD, nor his explosive tantrums: So abusive
I believe your ex uses emotional eating. He’s trying to replace love, sympathy, affection, devotion with food. He’s using food as comfort.
I like when you do these interviews.. They give me a different perspective and a different context..
I like how you described the spectrum/scale.. Let me just talk about morality and ethics a little.. It might just start with one little lie or going to one party or cutting off one person in traffic or one joint or one flirt but does it stop there?.. I just look at that scale in 2 ways.. Where am I on that scale and where are the people that I surround myself with on that scale?
One of the big things that I think about when I think about dating is all of the toxic people around.. Even if I do get a good one, how do I keep all the toxic people away from her? I am just so used to my friends hitting on my girlfriends even when they had girlfriends and married.. I think a big part of my problem is that I am way to tolerant of unacceptable behavior..
Great definition from Dr. Carter. I love "Ingredients " plus "scale or spectrum" model.
Great podcast episode. I hear all about narcissism. I never fully understood it until now. Thanks! Great questions as well Doug.
This is a supportive and informative video! Thank you!
Deep History, great idea! I now so wish I had investigated more!
World Win Romance and my being rejected by the 1st husband made me so very vunerable!
Married him and was emotionally neglected for years. His family history was totally a Narcissist System. He has since died, and I have found freedom in therapy. Understanding is absolutely Key!
Hind Sight is difinately 20/20. Thanks!
This is extremely helpful info! I just divorced my narc husband after a 28-year marriage. I have no interest in getting into a new relationship at this point … or maybe ever. I realize I have no experience with what a “normal” relationship is so the thought of attempting a new relationship is very scary.
Tim Fletcher's videos on CZcams about complex trauma, shame, narcissism, re-parenting and more is great at explaining how narcissisim is formed.
Wow my friend is married to one and he tells her I have to get away from you. Maybe that's a good thing she's wearing him out. Table turned He has it all twisted it's surreal.😮😮
So true as Dr Carter said the narcissist can act generous offer help or hold out gifts w one hand while hiding a fistful of angry, manipulation & control tactics behind their back in other! God is love +
Thank you! A month ago, my father's brother(of four) and my uncle/godfather died. I made the mistake of calling him. He was annoyed and paranoid that I knew. He was scared. Then, he talked only about his loss. What a waste of my time, emotion, effort. I haven't spoken with him. I had his number blocked on my phone. He asked how I knew. The obit is online. He was paranoid and annoyed that I knew. He's delusional. He's a jerk!
Fantastic and insightful podcast. I related to so many of the nuances of manipulation and covert power control; it was life giving for me. Nice interview. I have listened to the calming voice of Dr. Carter for many months, and this was the best one for me.
That's very sound reasoning and something I never knew. It really should be that simple as to being able to be safe to say, hey I'm not comfortable with x,y, z and just have a discussion without it turning into a huge thing. That advise can go for ANY relationship. Dr. C. fabulous as advised ways 👏✋✌
So eye opening. Made me think about things that have happened in my relationship and came to some realizations. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for a greatly informative and supportive conversation Gentlemen.
My boss would pretend I messed up to see my reaction. Always trying to create supply. False accusations and create the narrative you effed up. Was very covert. Then he would laugh. What a s show! Grey rock is your friend!!!!
Sooo much could be commented on here. Most of us can relate to the “power differential “. 37 minute mark.
The pre-disposed disagreeable, aggressive or anti-social personalities is a huge part of personality disorders. I work with wonderful parents to help address behavioral challenges in children, and sometimes it’s the parents’ abuse, or neglect, but most of the time, disagreeable children have been challenging since infancy. It’s not trauma in and of itself that leads to challenging, anti-social behaviors.
Inate.
I'm so grateful for sharing this video. 🙌 l have to deal with this regularly. Hope it will help me to figure out what to do and what not to do.
Dr. Carter is one of the best 👍
Note to Myself: Eric Froom is said to have coined "malignant narcissist."
I knew it after kids,, that’s when he revealed hi self
I feel you on that, once she was pregnant passed month 3, ,mask came off
I’m a twin, too
Recently well in the last few years found out about NPD, and boy oh boy what a shocker. Thanks for sharing.
Same here.
For me it has been a life saver moment. I can remember the exact day and year.
Before, I behaved with normal human rules, so to speak...
But the normal rules and the normal thoughts
can literally destroy our lives when dealing
with narcissists, especially if they are our parents
Everyone thought my Father in Law was a great guy [ yet he was abusive- Narcissistic cheat]!
U deserve highest regards highest respect. God bless you 💖
Run for the hills!❤
We are Team Healthy.
Excellent interview! Thank you both.
Why did you edit Dr. Les's responses so much?
Fabulous information. I love Dr. Carter
Dr Carter is the best
A 'shield' or instead healthy psychological defence mechanisms Dr. Carter. When a lot of adults need around 2 years to find themsleves again to recover after living in a near impossible situation to survive in then how can we be labelling sometimes only a 3 year old as having the temperment predisposing them towards narcissism and/or psychopathy too. When someone is surprised with extreme pain they were not at all having in mind as a possibility in the situation they typically react through self-preservation only human instincts.
Hey dude, how did i miss this one, im on subscripts
I've been dealing with my narcissist boyfriend for 20 years and I didn't not realize he is narcissistic until a few months after living with him. I may say don't waste your time with this type of person it's a roller-coaster ride and so not worth it unless you giving your entire life to them RUN DON'T DATE THEM YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR IDENTITY. You have to be strong 💪 to be with these nuts. I learn to beat mine ITS SO NOT WORTH IT
Thanks for the information.
I could teach this 22 yrs. I’m done 😮😊
Wishing Mom had known THIS ! Sadly she didn't & couldn't take us children & leave for good. She could only teach us how to survive! Unfortunately I married 2 bullies !
Different modus operandi tho . First one was psychologically abusive. 2nd was VERBALLY VIOLENT & a JECKYL HYDE !
I used to argue with him and I ll win.. I bully him back
Twin studies AKA Minnesota Twin Study, Nancy Seagal at Cal State Fullerton.
Govt and media gaslight all the time. 1789
Super Interesting
28:39 that's rather unbelievable. Like, I don't believe it.
No, thanks, to obligatory ads by the host. I'm going to listen to other videos without ads.
1:43 key