Why being yourself is ruining your life

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  • čas přidán 9. 09. 2022
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Komentáře • 1,4K

  • @betterideas
    @betterideas  Před rokem +2377

    "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
    ― Viktor E. Frankl

    • @Your934
      @Your934 Před rokem +7

      Agreed!

    • @jovanrocksable
      @jovanrocksable Před rokem +7

      Dude that was awesome

    • @ISAGAARBO98
      @ISAGAARBO98 Před rokem +5

      Thanks Man you are the only Actually worth watching Channel in my subscriptions...Keep It Up!!

    • @mostlypeacefulmisterputin
      @mostlypeacefulmisterputin Před rokem +7

      “Think about how hard it is to change something about yourself…now tell me, what type of success do you really think you’re going to have trying to change someone else?”

    • @mostlypeacefulmisterputin
      @mostlypeacefulmisterputin Před rokem +3

      @Don't Read My Profile Photo BOOM! ROASTED! 😱

  • @shashikantmane6597
    @shashikantmane6597 Před rokem +182

    Who is from Instagram?

  • @StormSnake0618
    @StormSnake0618 Před rokem +2655

    Changing "be yourself" to "find yourself" helped me out a lot. You're an ever evolving and changing person, keep searching for ways to improve & find happiness/fulfillment in your life.

    • @JaysonT1
      @JaysonT1 Před rokem +28

      A search for happiness is the most guaranteed way to be unhappy.

    • @chillappreciator885
      @chillappreciator885 Před rokem

      So, how the results of your research?)

    • @Theguywithspectacles
      @Theguywithspectacles Před rokem

      That's the truth

    • @agl2004og
      @agl2004og Před rokem

      Thanks, I had my own phrase and all but now it’s more refined and easier :)

    • @Nora-ik4mg
      @Nora-ik4mg Před rokem +19

      i prefer "create yourself"

  • @rolloxra670
    @rolloxra670 Před rokem +151

    It’s not about “being yourself” it’s about being the best version of yourself

    • @Thegingerbreadm4n
      @Thegingerbreadm4n Před 5 měsíci +3

      The best version of myself is not an authentic “me”

    • @Thegingerbreadm4n
      @Thegingerbreadm4n Před 5 měsíci

      American tacos are the best versions of tacos… all tacos should strive to be like this… even though it’s not authentic it’s still the best…. According to Americans… and I’m American so I only listen to Americans.
      See the problem now?

    • @Dice-Z
      @Dice-Z Před 5 měsíci

      @@Thegingerbreadm4n Is that the best version of yourself saying that, or the worse version of yourself saying it? Regardless, you're deflecting semantics with more semantics (and a completely irrelevant, falsely equivalent analogy that means nothing) and so will i: become the best version of your authentic self. And it doesn't have to end here, you can see what you can improve from there.
      If you want some less open to interpretation statement, then be yourself and authentic, but also there are some core values/qualities that you should strive for (doesn't mean you will or that you have to succeed at all of them, being flawed is what makes people real, but still should attempt to improve to the best of your ability) regardless of your authentic self: ambition, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, cooperativeness, assertiveness, respect, integrity, openmindedness, curiosity, helpfulness, alertness, drive/productivity, optimism, stoicism (not the cold, jaded kind but the calm, composed, warm and capable kind that can be friendly and relaxed, but serious and reliable when needed, vulnerable and intune, but in control and strong), etc... toward both others/the world around you and yourself. Just some examples.
      It's up to you to decide what you're satisfied with aswell, and where between those versions of yourself you can meet in the middle.

    • @EstanislaoSantino-xk8uz
      @EstanislaoSantino-xk8uz Před 5 měsíci

      Depends on what they goal or do what they life, like if the want to be a lazy man then do it try to be a best stop caring about some shitting comment in the internet

    • @michaelmedeiros2089
      @michaelmedeiros2089 Před měsícem

      Which can never happen unless you are yourself.

  • @efjayadi
    @efjayadi Před rokem +96

    Society : "just be yourself"
    Also Society : "no not like that"

  • @mpiech657
    @mpiech657 Před rokem +3248

    „Be yourself” in today’s culture means „give up on trying to improve and do nothing” - not exactly a life motto I’d want to follow. Thank you for the quality content!

    • @heavenlypath1065
      @heavenlypath1065 Před rokem +38

      A while ago bro made a video about self improvement ruining our lives now he makes this so I wonder what won't ruin our lives at this point?

    • @inventiveowl395
      @inventiveowl395 Před rokem +8

      @@heavenlypath1065 Ice cream.
      Well.. to a point anyway.. "Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough." - Mark Twain

    • @K-xor
      @K-xor Před rokem +49

      @@heavenlypath1065 Go watch the video you mention.
      Listen closely and you'll see him literally say "of course improving yourself i something good and noble, but theres a toxic trend to see self-improvement as the solution to anything, to the point where they make you feel that if you improve yourself enough, you wont have to deal with life struggles".

    • @warezmicez
      @warezmicez Před rokem +3

      @Diego Santos but my destiny is to die and I don’t want to accept that

    • @en2p187
      @en2p187 Před rokem +8

      Wdym I see everyone giving a million reasons to pick that phrase apart. I see it as if being yourself means you like to improve yourself then that's still you being you.

  • @Azkabazz
    @Azkabazz Před rokem +86

    I've been on both ends of the spectrum:
    1. The hedonistic treadmil where you just want more and more, growth wise as a person as well as materialistically. You end up never happy and somewhat fake never accepting yourself.
    2. The fully self accepting "it's how I am" side of things which in turn becomes some what nihilistic and you don't push yourself anymore falling more into depression and as you said accepting toxic traits as normal.
    As most things, the truth is balance. In the middle.
    Truly going after things that naturally align with you where effort feels rewarding. Vs doing things because others expect it or striving towards something because your told it is 'better' or 'right' even though it doesn't feel serve you.
    Struggle is normal but it's finding what is worth the struggle and being rewarded for it with growth that's truly for you and things you gravitate towards.

  • @adamgarratt3168
    @adamgarratt3168 Před rokem +85

    “Just be yourself” does have its merits. Socially, it helps you to understand and reaffirm your boundaries, have confidence in your interests, and avoid buying into useless advice. I was quite hard on myself for the last couple of years because my passions very much lie in writing and history but, being surrounded by voices telling me STEM subjects are infinitely better for employability and they’re more modern etc, I became a bit disheartened and pessimistic about my passions. I used “just being myself” to reassure myself that my passions weren’t stupid, nor were they worthless, and that as long as I put in the time and effort then I can make them the centre of my life and still be successful. That’s an example where that motto can be used productively, as having the confidence and determination to follow these passions fully is far better as opposed to wasting time in limbo and trying to push them away.
    However, I must admit that in the majority of cases the motto proves to be stagnant and limiting, and that’s because of how people choose to use it. Rather than using it to reinforce the positive aspects of themselves, many people get it to justify the negatives instead. It provides an excuse for self-destructive or toxic behaviours, and keeps you firmly rooted in the poisonous comfort zone. The version of themselves that people pick when repeating that motto is usually the lowest hanging fruit, because it’s also the easiest to reach.

    • @rose.florish
      @rose.florish Před rokem +3

      Agreed and that's why we need balance like ying and yang 😌

    • @carpo719
      @carpo719 Před rokem +4

      great comment, my thoughts exactly. For many people, it is what they need to hear, to 'be themselves'. Many of us take it for granted

    • @5029rahul
      @5029rahul Před rokem +2

      Agreed. “Just be yourself” can be the necessary blue pill you take depending on where you are at in your life. But this video I believe is encouraging people to go further beyond in helping themselves who have already used this useful pill.

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 Před rokem +1291

    I've always interpreted "just be yourself" as simply doing what feels true to you and mostly following your intuition. It's helped me along the way as following that gut feeling that tells you if something seems right or wrong has led to me making the best choices for my life trajectory most of the time.

    • @xLuky
      @xLuky Před rokem +137

      I hear that, but that only works if your intuition is already healthy and correctly "calibrated". Some people are calibrated towards self sabotage and destruction and following thier intuition of what "feels right" will just give them more of the bad things that they already have. I guess only you can check to see how healthy your intuition is in hindsight after making decisions. Maybe "find yourself" is better.

    • @Ieatdumbells
      @Ieatdumbells Před rokem +7

      @@xLuky Facts

    • @MykahMaelstrom
      @MykahMaelstrom Před rokem +45

      Big agree. "Just be yourself" is about authenticity and putting forth your truest foot forward rather than trying to conform to who other people think you should be.
      Its not an excuse to be lazy its a reminder to not be fake

    • @seth4321
      @seth4321 Před rokem +24

      @@MykahMaelstrom I agree with you and AJ. I completely understand what Better Ideas was getting at with the point of this video, but I don’t agree with the way he worded it. One of his few videos that didn’t completely sit with me. Finally becoming comfortable with “being myself” has been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
      Like you said, it’s not an excuse for bad behavior - anyone with enough self awareness can identify bad habits. It’s about complete and utter honesty with yourself about who you are, and being okay with sharing that with others.

    • @meganslonesings
      @meganslonesings Před rokem +5

      Well said, plus God created our intuition, too.

  • @Jokasitot
    @Jokasitot Před rokem +924

    I think this is a very subjective topic. For me, "being myself" means to stay true to my intuition, my needs, my feelings and my desires and not getting distracted and directed by the societal "self-optimisation-urge for being financially successful". I do get your point and I think its important for you to address this! But I guess this "be yourself" thing has a lot of different interpretations for many, some of which can actually be beneficial and good (:

    • @veerasekar
      @veerasekar Před rokem +6

      well said

    • @matthewgoetz4741
      @matthewgoetz4741 Před rokem +19

      even then, how can you be sure your "needs," "desires," and "feelings" are really even yours to begin with. it's like he said most of us have been conditioned into thought patterns, belief systems and ways of self-perception by many other entities throughout our upbringing and to most of which probably weren't the healthiest or most complete either. so it's not to say you're idea of "Be Yourself" is inherently wrong, yet this is just my "counter" to your response.

    • @someoneyoushouldstayawayfr3790
      @someoneyoushouldstayawayfr3790 Před rokem +8

      @@matthewgoetz4741 be yourself works if you're happy with it

    • @kevinjackson4933
      @kevinjackson4933 Před rokem +5

      Being "true to feelings" implies that feelings have inherent validity, but they don't. That's the whole problem with this culture of 'be your most authentic self'... it's just self-absorbed feelings worship. Feelings are not correct or right. They're often trivial, chaotic, and delusional, even for relatively sane people. One of the goals of mastering yourself is to learn to see your feelings for what they are and not let them rule you.

    • @february1796
      @february1796 Před rokem +1

      Totally agree. In my case, I do have some things in my life that I strive to improve just like we all do. However, paradoxically, one of those things in my personal case is not caring what other people think of me.

  • @derektrammell911
    @derektrammell911 Před rokem +253

    To me, someone that's struggled with social anxiety and a fear of rejection, I see "just be yourself" as something endearing to strive for. Basically, lay down your unhealthy defense mechanisms and be unafraid to express your genuine self. In other words, you SHOULD spite the idea that people would accept you for anything other than what is "you" - a collection of motivations, the positive desires you have, and your unique flare of personality. While I understand that some may see this saying as having negative connotations of settling, for me it's a rallying call to be confident and content in the idea that I can be my individualistic self, no matter what place or people.

    • @bravuh18k18
      @bravuh18k18 Před rokem +19

      Fax you're right....this dude contradict everything you said but it's just polarity. Negatives and positives to the mindset/lifestyle

    • @iam_ALEXWHAT_
      @iam_ALEXWHAT_ Před 10 měsíci

      Then EXPLAIN to ME HOW to talk to women& #BeingConfident cuz Right about NOW I WANT to DELETE the person who CREATED that DUMB-ASS word cuz you can't learn it from a FATHER!?!?!?!?!?!?!😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

    • @edyjohnson559
      @edyjohnson559 Před 8 měsíci

      Yes I Agree well conveyed i Applaud you..👏Maybe good advice is be yourself,As it allows you to own your crap,go to the dark places in you especially lack,that void that a lot run away from-but do we really know ourselves intrinsically,?A lot of us don’t make the concerted effort or don’t get time etc..to know ourselves.Being in complete Harmony with everything in your Life etc,With profound acceptance & Surrender isn’t the same as saying you don’t want to improve too so it takes certain amount of discernment

  • @hasantao
    @hasantao Před rokem +25

    For me, being yourself means to stay true ro your values and don't be a hypocrite. It means to be honest with yourself and don't lie to yourself about yourself. It is the fundamental step to development.
    Also, in society today, it seems as if survival is all what we need. Maybe what we need more is to be content with what we have (i.e
    being) instead of what we can become (i.e., becomming). I think this also helps to be more successful but also happier inside.

    • @5029rahul
      @5029rahul Před rokem +1

      Yes, authentic success. Also, it seems to be more in line with Taoism and letting go. Everyone needs it depending on where they are at in their life.

  • @Gamayun.
    @Gamayun. Před rokem +219

    That's why I always say don't be yourself, choose yourself. Decide who you want to become and strive toward it

  • @maxwellli7057
    @maxwellli7057 Před rokem +540

    I feel like "just be yourself" means more to stop caring what ppl think of you and pursue your own ideal self on your own. It isn't to just delete all your goals and sit down on the couch all day, it's to stop worrying about what irrelevant ppl who you will never see again think of you in the moment.
    For example in CZcamsrs, I've noticed to "be yourself" means to stop caring so much about forcing themselves to be family friendly and changing their content to fit the algorithm, and to focus on projects and experiences that truly interest themselves and that they can really put 110% into making.

    • @DoritosBurger
      @DoritosBurger Před rokem +11

      Very well said. I agree 100 percent.

    • @somethingsomething2541
      @somethingsomething2541 Před rokem +1

      Well said

    • @daviddadon8114
      @daviddadon8114 Před rokem +23

      Agreed which is why I felt like Joey was reaching with this one. But not everyone thinks this way so his point is for them I suppose

    • @CasuaICole
      @CasuaICole Před rokem +8

      I see "just be yourself" as a way to push for one's individuality, but that's the cool magic of quotes, the interpretation are in the eyes of the beholder. Some see this quote as a way to never change, some see this as way to deflect toxicity, but his is in the eyes of personal growth, rather than to cope to a situation. Interpretation is cool, and perspectives are cool as well.
      (Side note, I don't mean for any of this to be sarcastic.)

    • @rolandorodriguez418
      @rolandorodriguez418 Před rokem +1

      @@daviddadon8114 I feel the same way

  • @valerieh5400
    @valerieh5400 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for sharing this video. I’ve been struggling with grief today in regards to my fathers death that took place a year ago and I have felt pretty paralyzed since this event. However, it reminded me that I have grown, but that I need to keep moving forward regardless of how painful it can be. That I cannot become complacent or I will not grow.

  • @hernangomez6029
    @hernangomez6029 Před rokem +1

    "love yourself enough to become something more". What a great idea! It is exactly for what I am passing through. Thanks!

  • @crvlad
    @crvlad Před rokem +645

    The sad truth about succeeding as an authentic person in this life:
    "I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party; and I attended with my real face." - Franz Kafka

  • @ryanfnm7666
    @ryanfnm7666 Před rokem +327

    “Maybe the answer to life isn’t to just be yourself, maybe the answer is to love yourself enough, to become something more.”

  • @lae235
    @lae235 Před rokem +2

    really loved your approach on this subject. I've been questionning this "just be yourself" for a while now and you put clearly into words what was bothering me

  • @fitnesschannel9070
    @fitnesschannel9070 Před rokem

    This is the most resonating video from watching ur channel for 3 years. Thank you

  • @technorazor976
    @technorazor976 Před rokem +126

    Personally, my gripe with the phrase "just be yourself" is that it implies that I know what "myself" is, which I don't. So, counter-intuitively, in every social situation I find myself stressing over _trying_ to act the most like "myself", which is impossible due to the fact that I'm actively trying to be anything at all.

    • @carpo719
      @carpo719 Před rokem

      you know who you are ;)

    • @carpo719
      @carpo719 Před rokem +1

      @Тоmmy 🅥 explains spam?

  • @K-xor
    @K-xor Před rokem +97

    F*cking hell, very well put. It feels great having your thoughts put into words this way.
    That's what I've been talking about for years: "be yourself" isn't anything else than a motto we've learned to repeat without real utility.
    How are you able to be so great and accurate?

  • @sealwhiskers3515
    @sealwhiskers3515 Před rokem +115

    I've always interpreted 'be yourself' as 'be authentic' a.k.a. don't be someone else's best version of you, be YOUR best version of you. Jenna Marble's video on being yourself comes to mine (one of my faves) and she defined being yourself as thinking with your own mind and making your own choices which I love because it works even as you're evolving, changing, growing and working on yourself. But I agree 'be yourself' is probably too simplistic a phrase by itself.

  • @mrsfrutos
    @mrsfrutos Před rokem +4

    “Just be yourself” is a phrase I never understood or knew how to implement.
    Joey, I would love seeing you debunking self-development myths in future videos.

  • @Dondlo46
    @Dondlo46 Před rokem +46

    Being yourself in your head kinda solves that problem (atleast for me), always chatting to my real self feels good, it doesn't feel abandoned and doesn't make me distracted.

  • @_STRYK3R
    @_STRYK3R Před rokem +19

    For me "Being myself" is trusting my instincts and not faking myself around others just to fit. I personally never used that as an excuse for being lazy about myself. Self improvement is part of being yourself IMO.

    • @roofdogblues7400
      @roofdogblues7400 Před rokem

      That's how I understood it when I first heard it in the mid 1980's.

  • @defaultytuser
    @defaultytuser Před rokem +1

    I love this "sitting in front of the camera" format with zero frills, I think it strengthens the message of your videos . Plus, you concatenate your arguments in a way that makes your lectures flow smoothly and keep one engaged.
    Always a pleasure when you upload, Joey!

  • @johnnyblaze2716
    @johnnyblaze2716 Před rokem

    Beautifully put my friend. I totally agree. Move forwards. Focus your aim. Become the hero in your story.

  • @MaxJusth
    @MaxJusth Před rokem +84

    It's a complex topic. Obviously we have several behaviours at different situations the same way we follow a dress code at different locations or situations. I think someone shouldn't change unless it actually ruins your life. When I am with friends or alone, I love being myself (and sometimes I have different behaviours but not because I WANT to change them but because this is how I am. I also would never change myself only to fit in somewhere or the get a girlfriend because that wouldn't help me either. And usually people don't realize that trying to be someone you aren't just makes it worse.

    • @paulwaltersheherfeministvl521
      @paulwaltersheherfeministvl521 Před rokem +1

      I am thinking about dropping out of school to focus on my career as a star on CZcams. I already make a lot of money on CZcams. School bores me so much. I need more opinions and since I don't have any friends, I gotta ask you, max

    • @deutschmitpurple2918
      @deutschmitpurple2918 Před rokem

      Thank you so much for sharing. İt is so valuable message for me

    • @Khy6336
      @Khy6336 Před 5 měsíci

      ​@@paulwaltersheherfeministvl521do it if you think it's beneficial

  • @TDBRICKS
    @TDBRICKS Před rokem +79

    Man, your videos never fail to inspire me. I feel like every video I watch from you, I’m given a new perspective on life that opens new windows to the way I think. Thank you for this content!

    • @memerelievers
      @memerelievers Před rokem +2

      OMG someone with a check mark! Time to be the first reply so I can get free likes once this comment blows up 😈

    • @gongolius
      @gongolius Před 7 měsíci +2

      @@memerelievers 1 year later

    • @Hobbitydobbity
      @Hobbitydobbity Před 5 měsíci

      @@memerelieversHehe you only got 2 likes

    • @oluwatimilehinakinlade1782
      @oluwatimilehinakinlade1782 Před 4 měsíci

      ​@@Hobbitydobbityand one dislike, hehe 💀

    • @williammyers6692
      @williammyers6692 Před 4 měsíci +1

      No one cares

  • @johnburke2592
    @johnburke2592 Před rokem

    the satisfaction of your well-being always comes with the continuation and pursuit of your own personal growth. We are never one constant stationary being and stay that way forever, the mind will shift and you can create a better life for yourself or a life that is heading in a direction that will disappoint yourself despite your own abilities. Willpower is a hard thing to control but when there is a will there is a way! haha this is coming from someone that nearly killed themselves the other day from a xanax OD, got into a car crash and slowly getting back on my feet. The regret is terrible but I'm also incredibly glad that I'm still alive and no one was hurt except me car. There's always hope, and when there's an obstacle that shows up in our life its best to grow and learn from the experiences rather than dwell on the past. Creativity making these videos is really nice to see and thanks for putting out good vibes my friend :)

  • @NBTJacklyn
    @NBTJacklyn Před rokem +5

    I love everything you do
    The habits versus personality traits thing is something I couldn’t agree more with
    Love it

  • @AshsDen
    @AshsDen Před rokem +2

    "Maybe the answer is to love yourself enough to become something more."
    What a beautiful phrase to end this video. It ties back into your idea that "just be yourself" is a defeatist ideal and argues against the thought process of being satisfied with complacency. I very much agree that without change, one's life can become dull and uninteresting. Not sure the exact psychology, but it's similar to the idea of how doing the same thing over and over eventually makes your brain less satisfied with that activity. So, in having the love enough in yourself to embrace change, one can be something greater and enjoy a broader scope of life.
    It's not that "maybe" you need to love yourself enough to allow the change in identity, or purpose, or passion, I would say that one definitely needs that love to motivate the self into action of becoming someone better - whatever that 'better' person may look like. Ha! Almost like you named your channel Better Ideas on purpose.
    Thank you for the excellent thoughts and ideas, Joey! I always appreciate your perspectives :)

  • @Cosmopolit257
    @Cosmopolit257 Před rokem +45

    "So, maybe the answer to life isn't “Just Be Yourself!”, maybe the answer is to love yourself enough to become something more."
    that last line incredibly resonated with me

  • @b8sh
    @b8sh Před rokem

    Thank you for giving me clarity. This is the thought that came to me every time I would hear “be yourself” but I never agreed with it in my heart and I didn’t know how to articulate it even to myself. There is so much of crime in the world- we can’t tell them be yourself, we need change and there is never going to be a change of everyone are just themselves and become stagnant in their growth.

  • @david.n
    @david.n Před rokem

    I'm glad I've just discovered you. You are truly ispirational, a great friend to have close. Thank you for these words, it's like the words I've always wanted to hear but by myself and other people around never came up. Sometime it's hard, sometime it's not, every day is a new day. We should always put some effort to be a better version of ourself and for our love.

  • @QueenJodiandAP
    @QueenJodiandAP Před rokem +3

    I needed to hear this.

  • @ericm1373
    @ericm1373 Před rokem +13

    To me, "just be yourself"was never about complacency, it was always about not molding yourself just to fit in (which is a common theme in media, both for young and adult audiences.) The want to fit in is a powerfull and primal thing wired into our social brains by evolution, but the irony is that "just beying yourself"in that context is the opposite of complacency. It's taking the risk of beiyng true to yourself by beying truly vulnerable. Complacency, then, would be letting go of who you are to fit in.
    Although, I agree just passively accepting who you are as something permanent and unalterable is not great. As Sifu sais in kung fu panda: "If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than what you are now."

  • @kflecha1
    @kflecha1 Před rokem +1

    This is so raw.. after watching this video I’m just staring at the roof and reflecting.. so real 🙌🏽💚

  • @HINDJT
    @HINDJT Před rokem

    I really needed this, I was struggling with these thoughts today's morning and you answered all my questions. Thanks!

  • @carpo719
    @carpo719 Před rokem +10

    "Be yourself" is not really meant to just tell people to be who they are. It is deeper, and more about accepting our faults, even if we have to work on them.
    We KNOW inside when we need to improve, so being ourselves is a way to remove the imposter syndrome that we all carry with us, if even for a moment, to strive toward something better.
    Being ourselves does not mean we cannot change. I believe it is subjective, and open to interpretation.
    SO many people are afraid to be honest about how they feel, and who they are, so following our true self requires some self forgiveness.
    It may seem shallow to those of us who have worked on ourselves our whole lives, but VERY important to those who are starting out. It is not about just 'being' who you are, it is 'accepting' who you are.

  • @mastercheif0124
    @mastercheif0124 Před rokem +6

    Be who you could is a far more powerful statement to make. Questions what if, I could be x or I could do y. These questions become dreams, reverse engineering these becomes motivation and a plan. This channel is always pumping our thought provoking, meaningful and actionable content, so good!

  • @ipownnoobixtoobz
    @ipownnoobixtoobz Před rokem

    This video was pure quality. Messages spoken with seriously understandable script. Love it

  • @jackyluo
    @jackyluo Před rokem

    Mans speaking facts. Really great job in discerning the difference between "be yourself" (implied to be yourself at the moment) and "keep growing to be who you are meant to be"

  • @AdrianLoganLive
    @AdrianLoganLive Před rokem +6

    I think being yourself is a constant process, like showering. You can't shower once and be clean for ever. In the same way being authentic is a daily practise. Almost meditative, because it requires both awareness and focus. it takes self awareness to seperate who you genuinely are and want to be, from the "filth" of toxic social expectations, insecurities, irrational fears of judgement etc. "Being Yourself" isn't a transformation process, as much as a discovery process. Reaching inwards, discovering all the traits we took on that at one point in life was helpful for us to survive, but that no longer serve us, and slowly removing them. It's an ongoing process. There isn't some "reset" button that restores us to who we "should be". We are living beings, constantly changing, constantly discovering who we want to be. Some people document it through journals, I prefer making videos about it, but to each their own. All the best on your personal journeys!

  • @Angell-ir5xj
    @Angell-ir5xj Před rokem +18

    I think when people say "be yourself" it should be interpreted as "reflect the best version of yourself". That doesn't mean just be the most productive and disciplined person you can be, but also be the most "flourished", kind, generous and the most authentic to your "best self". Strive to be that version of yourself in all its forms. Yes, be yourself as in stay true to your self, to your essence and to your philosophy, but strive to be the best version of yourself in all its forms.

    • @5029rahul
      @5029rahul Před rokem +1

      Yes and I have observed that it helped me become more comfortable in my own skin and see myself as equal to other people. Really helped with my self esteem.

  • @melissaanton458
    @melissaanton458 Před rokem +2

    Ur videos ( especially this one) are perfect! I think about this stuff all the time but you lay it all out perfectly. Thank you!

  • @brad7957
    @brad7957 Před rokem

    This is life changing. Thank you!

  • @aubreejobizzarro1208
    @aubreejobizzarro1208 Před rokem +47

    I think of self improvement as “skin unlocking”. If I do this task I can now customize my character with X ability or if I study I add 5+ iq points to my character. I look at it as unlocking the full, playable version of myself. That’s what being true to yourself is. But you have to do some shitty side quests and runs along the way!

    • @Futurepointmusic
      @Futurepointmusic Před rokem +2

      love that comparison!

    • @yellowdressbookstore6602
      @yellowdressbookstore6602 Před rokem +2

      You grow up with too many video games didn't you!
      Kidding, love this so much

    • @Futurepointmusic
      @Futurepointmusic Před rokem +3

      @@yellowdressbookstore6602 I actually think applying "video game logic" to real life can be a great way of making the mundane parts of self improvement more fun!

    • @yellowdressbookstore6602
      @yellowdressbookstore6602 Před rokem +2

      @@Futurepointmusic Yes!!!! Do it
      I can talk for hoooours about how to fish in Breath of the Wild. I can break down the time , cost, expenses , exchange rrate ect
      Now if only I could apply this highly valuable knowledge to real world ...

    • @Futurepointmusic
      @Futurepointmusic Před rokem

      @@yellowdressbookstore6602 haha very relatable and nice taste in games ;)
      Well what makes fishing in BOTW so fun to you?

  • @venepskeuten9206
    @venepskeuten9206 Před rokem +9

    As an autistic person I always have had certain limitations around me that prevented me from being a "normal person". Always being delegated to the weird kid and despite constantly trying and never succeesing to not to be that. Constantly feeling lesser because others were naturally better at certain things. Wether it were my classmates being able to socialize better, or younger siblings and friends being better at school. Everything others did that I could not do simply functioned as proof to prove my lack of worth, leaving me unable to accept myself in any capacity and eventually spiraling into a bad case of the "low self confidence".
    This did not mean that it is wrong for me to try and be better, to overcome my flaws, to challenge myself so I can grow. "Being myself" simply means to me to accept that I have limitations and not despise myself for that (because I have and it did nothing useful).

    • @kostanovicic671
      @kostanovicic671 Před rokem +1

      you are doing amazing, i do not think that every autistic person could even write this down. you might think that some people are better at some things naturaly but practice makes perfect so pick a thing you would like to improve at and give your best at it for some time im sure you wont regret it. all the best to you ❤.

  • @cd6084
    @cd6084 Před 3 měsíci

    This is so incredibly helpful - especially in combatting negative thoughts relating to identity because of trauma. I would despair in feeling disconnected from myself and not ‘knowing who I am’ - but within this I can organically move forward and set goals to become comfortable with who I am, while removing bad patterns related to trauma.

  • @semregob3363
    @semregob3363 Před rokem +1

    This is the only channel i open it's videos without hesitation or doubt that i'm going to appreciate their content. truly better ideas. thank you Joey and all.

  • @anetherealpursuit
    @anetherealpursuit Před rokem +51

    I had this revelation myself recently, that I’ve been striving for pure authenticity and “being myself” so strongly that I’ve stopped challenging myself. And in a sense, that’s not truly being yourself, because you’re the most mellow, unchallenged version, and you’re missing your potential. It’s time to do more, and be more. Good luck everyone!

  • @pipodedown1986
    @pipodedown1986 Před rokem +4

    To me the prhase ''Just be yourself'' has always been about the struggle to fit in with social groups or norms, that ultimately lead to unhappiness since its a form of masking. You don't have to try and be like the popular kids to become cool and happy, you can just be yourself.
    I've been just living, following my instincts, living in the moment and I've become so much happier since I've started doing that. I do happen to love weightlifting, and I enjoy my school and job so that helps.

    • @DCJ9
      @DCJ9 Před rokem

      Finally someone gets it.

  • @DanceUnderInfluence
    @DanceUnderInfluence Před rokem

    Beautiful quote at the end. "Love yourself enough to become something more" That's exactly what I needed.

  • @michel7700
    @michel7700 Před rokem

    I understood that phrase as "Be the best version of you". I had found it hard, but thinking about it in a way of compassion, realistic (what I can right now) and caring. It helps me so much.
    Thank you for your video

  • @AustinSchrock
    @AustinSchrock Před rokem +4

    Just be yourself, “It’s an inherently pessimistic statement veiled in self congratulation.” I love that, good topic choice Joey, thanks for sharing

  • @gaxrav
    @gaxrav Před rokem +3

    don't be yourself, become yourself.

  • @bunnyfluffly
    @bunnyfluffly Před rokem

    You truly speak my mind. I struggle with explaining my thoughts, and you sum it up 🙌🏻

  • @patrickcasey6369
    @patrickcasey6369 Před rokem

    This video was high-key eye opening for me. I needed to hear this. Thank you.

  • @Carloliver
    @Carloliver Před rokem +6

    Sometimes Just Being Yourself is a worthy goal. Such as, I'm really glad the manosphere hasn't sucked you into it's view vortex. In spite of the pressure to trash women and talk about various pills, you're continuing to be the forward focused, ever-improving version of yourself, and that's laudable.

  • @CHRoOMAX
    @CHRoOMAX Před rokem +10

    As a more introverted person, I wholeheartedly believe that I can really only be my true self when at home, and among family or a few friends I know well. Conversely, I would think that a very extroverted person can fully be themselves when in public, with near strangers, partying etc. For people who are kind of neutral in the social spectrum, the lines are a bit more blurred. These people are more versatile and adaptable based on their mood.

  • @vloubul8288
    @vloubul8288 Před rokem

    Relatively recently went through a breakup that opened up an exploration of the self and past traumas playing out. I did dabble in 'being myself' upon facing that rejection but that simply slams the brakes on the self improvement/empowerment journey. This video really drove that point home.

  • @w1sh832
    @w1sh832 Před 10 měsíci +2

    "Be yourself but only better" is a far more more worthy pursuit

  • @MarcoNP2011
    @MarcoNP2011 Před rokem +5

    I think the meaning is more like „be yourself in social situations and don’t give a fuck about the opinions of others“, which honestly really helped me build genuine connections and finding people that like you for being yourself rather than someone you’re trying to be. Sooner or later people will notice that you’re just playing a role and that’s not healthy. So just be yourself and good people will follow, because they can see your real personality from the get go.

    • @CultOfSol777
      @CultOfSol777 Před rokem

      I agree. There are always people out there who will find your personality interesting. There is no objective to be liked by "everyone". I don´t see it as an task. Of course you have to try to find your role at work but sometimes a bit of your own personality in positive way is also good there, otherwise everything becomes so fake and artificial..

    • @DCJ9
      @DCJ9 Před rokem

      Someone gets it!

  • @Eli-pm1pi
    @Eli-pm1pi Před rokem +4

    Every time I come to the decision to "just be myself" I end up procrastinating, trying to explain my lack of motivation by telling me that, well, I'm just a person who needs a lot of rest and doesn't have a lot of energy and that's okay. You can already see where this is going. At the end I always stop "just being myself" so I can actually get some things done and not sit in depressing thoughts and negative self-talk.

  • @senif684
    @senif684 Před rokem +2

    "Love yourself enough to become something more" never heard truer words brother ❤

  • @aero3606
    @aero3606 Před rokem +1

    Hey, I really love your videos and I think you should do an audio version of these videos. I'm usually very busy and can't really watch your videos, but what I like to do is listen the audio version. I can listen while doing other things in autopilot and being motivated by your speech. Thanks again, cheers ❤❤

  • @justinpettit8282
    @justinpettit8282 Před rokem +4

    Just be a better version of yourself everyday and you can only get better 💪

  • @muhammedharsh
    @muhammedharsh Před rokem +9

    There's no need to worry, being yourself will never ruin your life. In fact, being true to who you are is one of the best things you can do for yourself. So go ahead and be yourself, it'll be great!

  • @CCCookieCia
    @CCCookieCia Před rokem

    This is amazing, thank you!

  • @patzo7876
    @patzo7876 Před rokem

    This video truly changed my whole thought process of who i want to be and put care into my self and just accept toxic / negative aspects of my self

  • @captaint1180
    @captaint1180 Před rokem +4

    “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
    -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • @vinnyhaddad
    @vinnyhaddad Před 10 měsíci +3

    “Just be yourself” often means have the same flaws you had as a child growing up.

  • @Sculpture.619
    @Sculpture.619 Před rokem

    Thank you so much for this ! we love you 💛💛

  • @nateschmidt9009
    @nateschmidt9009 Před rokem

    Very well said and delivered. Love this outlook

  • @chdata
    @chdata Před rokem +7

    I've always hated the phrase, "Just be yourself."
    Lmao. When are you not already being yourself. Part of YOU right now is the mess you are that you're not satisfied with. Be the best version of yourself.

  • @duck8280
    @duck8280 Před rokem +3

    Great video, enjoyed all 12 minutes of it

  • @XxChaysterxX
    @XxChaysterxX Před rokem

    Damn you are full of wisdom man. I've been following you for years, been wearing your merch here in Berlin with pride and with this video you have really proven yourself. It's a proof that you are getting better and better with every video. I am amazed by this script how long have you must sit on this? What have you been going through? HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF?!?!?! Thank you, please never stop.

  • @ottoblog9208
    @ottoblog9208 Před rokem

    I love your sense of humor man you are very unique and deep at the same time.

  • @TJSchongar
    @TJSchongar Před rokem +4

    The assumptions in this video are incredibly off to me. The 'just' in "just be yourself" never struck me as permission to be lax. Rather, it was assurance that the inner energy and motives that powers you are good enough, and you shouldn't take the different versions of yourself away from being just that - VERSIONS of YOURSELF - into the realm of pretending or putting on an unsustainable mask. 'Yourself' is not a single version of you that is content and without motivation. 'Yourself' is the collections of versions of you that you use in any and all situations. And yes, being yourself is good enough. Rather than rejecting the idea that jusy being yourself is bad advice that denotes a certain amount of lost motivation to improve, it is a call to seek out just who you are, how you can be you, and do not allow expectations from bad, self-indulgent, or merely misinformed people around you influence your self. Be who you are, and seek to culture those parts that best serve yourself, your loved ones, and your community. That is the way to being authentic as well as pursuing betterment, while also preserving your psychy from hustle culture and burnout.

    • @valerieh5400
      @valerieh5400 Před rokem +1

      I agree with your comment.

    • @Ellie-qq9zm
      @Ellie-qq9zm Před rokem

      I agree. I felt this video was really off the mark. So much to unpack. I definitely disagree with his definition of “just be yourself” and a lot of the ideas he tied in that I felt were not related to the video topic at all. It’s easy to watch this type of video and assume the creator has all the answers, and will give some insightful response but it’s good to be critical of what we watch and consider what ideas are being conveyed. And feel free to discuss and critique instead of taking everything at face value because we all have room to learn and grow and I think that’s where a lot of the learning can happen; when we discuss and debate with an open mind and heart while being respectful of the person.

  • @Clodd1
    @Clodd1 Před rokem +3

    “Just be yourself” and “be the best version of you” both are personal things, you can’t say how people should be. There’re no right or wrong formula.

  • @raymonddrye3205
    @raymonddrye3205 Před rokem

    This was an incredible video. This is a perspective that I’ve never thought about before, but it totally tracks. The best part about this video is that it asks the viewer to never settle for who they are, while also refraining from insulting the viewer for not doing enough. You are an impressive speaker and this video is one that I’m going to keep coming back to as a healthy reminder :)

  • @kumarsaurav4680
    @kumarsaurav4680 Před rokem

    THANK YOU..
    really needed this..

  • @jacob2215
    @jacob2215 Před rokem +3

    9 times out of 10 my personality stays the same with different people

  • @vitaliy.sergeev1
    @vitaliy.sergeev1 Před rokem +3

    I heard this “be yourself” motto - meaning, don’t pretend something that you are not to achieve what others have - so many times but how can one be “themselves” when the market decides?
    I am a freelance Eng teacher and this niche is full of cookie-cutter teachers promising “quick results in 3 months”. While we know this doesn’t work, most of the ppl just fall for this catchy offer and buy their courses.
    I have always tried to be myself and honest with potential clients so I spread the message that it’s impossible to learn a language that quick. Nevertheless, these guys are deaf and keep buying the quick courses.
    I try to be myself and be more like Dark Souls in this niche - hardcore and strict but very productive and resultative teacher. Though, it’s not an easy to sell strategy, I feel that I really helped the person after the course.
    Should I continue “being myself” or should I become yet another scammer out there?

  • @jasminegarlandmusic
    @jasminegarlandmusic Před rokem

    "we need to treat ourselves like we have inherent dignity" - how powerful!

  • @danielplayer3974
    @danielplayer3974 Před rokem

    this man is a legend. this video spoke to me like none othet. Sincerely, thank you.

  • @MagisterialVoyager
    @MagisterialVoyager Před rokem +3

    I'd argue this is a highly subjective, debatable statement. As someone who really values authenticity, I think being true/"being yourself" works, in a sense that I grew up and live in a conservative, religious community where being different is highly sneered at. I can't change them, I don't want to, and I have better places to spend my energy on, so the best thing I can do is, you guessed it, being myself, as I improve, recover, and live. I believe there is a true us inside every single one of us. The quest is whether we can find who that person is and have courage to live their life.

  • @perseusgeorgiadis7821
    @perseusgeorgiadis7821 Před rokem +3

    I always believed more on “be the best version of yourself” rather than just being yourself. Being yourself ranges from the worst version of yourself, to the best version of yourself; so it’s not particularly helpful advice

  • @jamesmatthewcastillo2540

    Listening to this reaffirms those reoccurring ideas I have in my mind whenever I go on my long drive introspection. Appreciate the wisdom 🤙🏼

  • @brianbishoptv
    @brianbishoptv Před rokem

    This is great. Thanks for the video man.

  • @allisonbuettner3934
    @allisonbuettner3934 Před rokem +3

    As a neurodivergent person, I have lived my life thinking there was something wrong with me. Everything was harder, I felt like I was lazy and stupid and my actions never met my intentions. I was always compensating and felt like I had to be like everyone else and become a chameleon, hoping to blend in enough and maybe I’d eventually feel like I wasn’t broken. Once I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I learned that I’m not lazy or stupid, I finally felt like I really could be myself. I’m always improving and growing but I’m also just accepting who I am and not trying to be like a “normal” person. “Just be yourself” is permission to stop overcompensating and live life the way I want, not the way I think I should based on what everyone else is doing. I get why it might seem like being yourself is permission to stay in your comfort zone, but to me and many others in the comments I can totally see how it’s actually an empowering statement!

  • @ashley14579
    @ashley14579 Před rokem +4

    "just be yourself" when someone doesn't want to improve themselves, they use this sentence as an excuse and they mostly say it because they want to feel like they are "right"
    They don't even know who they are because they never improved themselves, they just play along with life and think being selfish is loving themselves which is not true at all

  • @ronaldadame9252
    @ronaldadame9252 Před rokem

    I think you just reminded me about something so simple, yet so important. I lost track of my systems, and I blamed myself for it instead of doing anything meaningful. Not the whole be "just be yourself thing" but the "you can be a better person thing", I guess I felt it was impossible to get back into the groove of things. Especially when I had just built a good routine for myself.

  • @Lish0928
    @Lish0928 Před rokem

    Great insight! I love when something new is put into perspective.

  • @mujtabajamal741
    @mujtabajamal741 Před rokem +7

    Who else come from instagram 😅?

  • @KS-ne5mq
    @KS-ne5mq Před rokem

    I found your videos today and immediately subscribed from the wow of your energy, insights, authentication, and relateableness (if that’s a word).

  • @alon98asher
    @alon98asher Před rokem

    One of your very best videos. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • @vidhyadevkar4053
    @vidhyadevkar4053 Před rokem +4

    Who is here by Instagram post 😂