Mary Kay Letourneau Case Analysis | Mental Health & Personality
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- čas přidán 28. 08. 2024
- This video answers the questions: Can I discuss the mental health and personality factors that may be at work in the Mary Kay Letourneau case?
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American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: Author.
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In my mind, I can't believe that any woman, much less a mother could look at a 13 year old boy with lust let alone do what she did. It's repulsive to know an adult can think this way.
exactly...how can there be any sexual attraction with a KID??
Same with men too, I can't imagine a 34yo man being attracted to a 12yo kid, especially if he had kids around that age. Vili was forced to grow too soon, he takes on a stepfather role to the kids from her first marriage even though the oldest is the same age as him
Wow! She was a very disturbed woman, and very stiff neck woman. Thank you, for the update.
She was a democrat.
Her own child was the same age
I’ve watched multiple interviews with Mary Kay and Vili. What struck me most is how publicly and incessantly she groomed this kid. I remember watching one particular interview where Vili looked like he was just waking up from a very long and tenacious nightmare. In my humble opinion, what Mary Kay might have thought of as love was an incessant need to control someone she perceived as weaker than herself and who would conform to her wishes. I feel like she robbed this man of his own potential in life. It makes me sad.
I wonder if Vili understands now that she groomed him and that their love was actually a trauma bond most likely? I cannot fathom being a 12 yr old whose teacher wants to have sex with me. The intermittent reinforcement of her incarceration and how she’d run back to him points to a trauma bond. I hear be recently had a child with another woman and has come to realize that the way he and Mary Kay’s relationship began was not healthy. I hope he gets the help he needs now finally.
100%@@Patsanford220
@@Patsanford220 I recently read an interview with him where he said if he were attracted by a 12 year old he would get therapy. He couldn’t fathom having that attraction.
Just saw that interview and the movie its like he finally woke up he reached her age when it all started and realized how mest up she is and all the crap she did to him. Besides all the grooming abuse she could have not let herself become pregnant twice leaving a child to raise her children condemning him.
I remember this story in the 2000s and I didn't know about narc. Back then but before clicking this link I watched the latest interview and her having npd was my guess too its kind of blatant
Very true, that's essentially what all abusers want, is someone to control and use for their own benefit with no regard for how it's harming their victim. Totally bizarre.
This is one of the most professional people on youtube. "She was bad at math, which is surprising considering she was a math teacher." It was articulated in such a matter-of-fact manner that it was a statement of fact, instead of an insult. Well done Doc!
He is certainly more diplomatic than I would have been. I would have just called her A dumb you know what, and she should never been given A teachers job. I have to wonder if her parents turned A blind eye to her idiocy, and shielded her from any scrutiny.
I love his outtakes, where he's trying take after take, cracking up. 😂 A genuinely likable guy, Dr Grande.
I cant imagine what kind of pain she caused her kids with her first husband. She literally threw them away
They actually had a really good healthy loving relationship at the end. Such a weird and case
They are fine they actually get along with her new husband and kids
Her first husband was as bad as her. My Mother was his co-worker for years, she worked 55 years for Alaska and retired during or do to covid as #1. Steve the first husband married her co-worker/friend and they had a child together too, he beat her and cheated on her, the woman was devastated and heartbroken, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
She did not care emotionally for her 4 children.
@@christiegroves The emotional trauma of what he went through with Mary Jo caused his behavior.
I feel for her children. I can't imagine growing up in such infamous disfunction. Hope they find peace and normalcy. Love your content Dr. Todd! Thank you! 💓
I agree. Her older children also attended her wedding to Fulaau but did not seemed concerned about putting theming the public eye. It really .ade me .mad when she said she didn't know it was it okay to be involved with a 12 year old....
Their kids are so beautiful and he's such an awesome dad. Watching interviews of them she was so controlling. I think he can be proud of the fact that he raised some beautiful kids
Peace, normalcy and a name change.
I don't know how they will ever find normalcy, whatever that is. :) Hope they can continue coping ok and moving on in some ways if that is ever possible. She really wrecked a lot of lives it seems in her selfishness.
Life & DIY to live with someone like her is bad enough, never mind the circumstances. He wasn’t able to hold a steady job, they divorced, but he still loyal to her staying by her side while sick. It will take years for them to go on with a normal life as we call it. Her daughters witnessed first hand her controlling, that affects their way of seeing the male in a relationship. I do hope he can move on and get a normal relationship and be happy. She clearly took it advantage of him and his family. Poor people.
The fact that her victim kept going back to her and couldn't seem to let her go just shows how damaging this sort of abuse really is. It can impact a kid for the rest of their lives and really warp their understanding of what adult relationships should be. I hope he's able to really work on himself now that she's really gone forever.
Good point. I notice that the term "She kept going back" isn't mentioned in the Epstein/Maxwell case. Not victims' fault, of course, just so regrettable that they felt so powerless.
@@rubyparchment5523 he's definitely scared from that , the good news is he's a good father despite his mental growth was stunned by Mary
It’s called “grooming “.
Conformist 138: You see she had him hooked. Even when she was in prison for 7 years. They couldn't let go of each other.
All the years in prison etc he never had other kids he never found another love wow
I find it impossible to believe that she didn't know it was illegal- she was a teacher and we teachers are trained in child abuse, which includes sexual.
How do u not know that doing adult things with a 13 year old is a crime?!?!?! Teachers are mandated reporters who get trained about child abuse. She's an evil person who ruined many lives
This case is part of why that happened. This and the Catholic school scandals. As late as the 90s some schools and individual teachers were wildly abusive. In some school districts until the 80s teachers or administrators could spank children.
I don’t believe she didn’t know it was illegal either . She tried to play dumb and ignorant. I saw through it as did many others . Including the judge. She knew .
I can see that. A female friend of mine interviewed for a job at an all boys boarding school and they asked her to live on campus with the students. She's really pretty and looks a lot younger than she is @@rebekah7635
Yup teachers are mandated reporters. She knew.
I took a Political Science class from Mary Kay’s father John Schmitz back in the late 60s I believe. It’s was at Santa Ana College. Those were the days of miniskirts, and he did a very bizarre thing: He chose the prettiest girls in the shortest skirts, and moved them all to the front of the class. Even then, I thought this was pretty creepy. Later on, when his daughter did the unthinkable, I thought about her - and assumed she had been molested by her father.
I thought about her father as well. She had very blurry psychological and sexual boundaries.
This would never justify what she did tho. Because even so, she would know it’s wrong. But it would give a reason to why she thought she was entitled to break the law and victimise Vili. I completely loathe her, she’s a control freak with issues of entitlement and arrogance! I hope she doesn’t rest in peace. She doesn’t deserve peace because she gave it to no one around her!
Being a victim of pedophilia doesn't cause pedophilia. This is a lie pedophiles tell to get sympathy but silences real victims. If she was a victim of her father, that is a separate discussion and not relevant to her proven abuse discussed here. Think about it, 3/4 women have experienced s*xual abuse in their lifetime yet we're 5% (at most) of the population of r*pists. Stop spreading this pedophile propoganda that being a victim makes you more likely to be a pedophile.
Apparently she was molested by her brother, but doesn't see it as abuse because it stopped when she wanted it to stop.
Dr. Grande, I find her lack of boundaries very disturbing and disgusting. As a teacher she should have been aware that young minds especially (minors) are to be protected from predators.
She’s from a wackadoodle family. Her father slept with his students and was a politician. Her brother is also in politics and was accused of arms dealing. They are a terrible family with their own wiki pages.
@@lisanewcar4157 not only was her father a politician he was a Trumpian sort of right wing crack pot who preached family values in public---his affair with the former student was only revealed when their infant son went to the hospital with a partially severed penis.
Yes, highly unethical and a complete abuse of her authority as an educator.
@@omfug7148 wiki explains further: Schmitz never financially supported nor helped raise his two children with Carla Stuckle.[citation needed] When the detective investigating the possible child abuse claim against Stuckle confronted Schmitz about fathering John George, Schmitz confirmed parentage and reportedly told the officer, "I do not and will not support him financially. It is her [Carla Stuckle's] responsibility to take care of him."[citation needed] Stuckle was not charged with any crime, and authorities returned John George to her care. Stuckle raised both John George and Eugenie on her own, working long hours at two different jobs. In 1994, when John George and Eugenie were 11 and 13 respectively, Carla Stuckle died from complications of Type I diabetes. Schmitz refused custody of the children. Mary Schmitz's close friend, high-profile astrologer and alleged psychic Jeane Dixon, took in the children. When Dixon died in 1997, the children became wards of the state.[23]
Remember her role model parents? Such as the college professor father who did practically the same thing? Observational Learning maybe?
I so hope that the victim of this abuse goes into therapy to unpack all he endured. Everyone wants to act like he was a stud, but honestly, he never got to be a child, and grow as a normal teenager. She made him a dad way to young. She stole his innocence and changed the course of his entire life. I feel so bad for him and all of her children.
Priss, "stole his innocence" is exactly the right phrase for it.
@Mannequin Gothique I read an interview with him and he said the disconnect with his friends was really tough for him, especially when his girls were toddlers. None of them had children, and yes, he had help from his mom, but being a parent is tough even when you *do* have the support of people your age.
Exactly!!
He wanted to prove his manhood with her, she needed to disengage ..she seemed lonely and vulnerable
@@m3rrys0ngstr3ss his life has been really tough. I don't think his mother was all that great either. Part of what he's probably doing with Mary Kay was looking for a mom. She was nothing but a child molester
I knew her in school. She was one of the prettiest girls in the school. Also, one of the sweetest I came from a poor family, and sometimes she would give me a ride home so I didn’t have to take the bus. I was her younger sister‘s age. Her dad was molesting her. Not sure when that started but it was pretty young and that’s when her emotional development stopped. She was like a 10-year-old. She even talked like a little girl.
I've been interested in this case for a long time. I thought she felt like she was a young girl. I once as an adult around age 30, mother of three) felt chemistry with a 16 year old boy. I looked very young and was very pretty. I wouldn't ever act on it but I felt like a teenager around him. He was definitely the one making advances and I gently rebuffed those advances but had anything happened it would have been a hard sell for me to believe I was sexually abusing him. Thank you for sharing this information.
If she was a man you would not be making excuses for her
You did not have "chemistry" with a 16 year old boy at 30, there is no such thing. Those feelings you mention were merely your sexual perversions rising to the surface. Thankfully you had enough humanity left in you to not act on it, but you still hold these perversions as you empathize with Mary even though she was 35 engaging in such acts with a 12 year old (the Dr. Gets it wrong saying he was 13, he was 12 when it first started.
And of course you would claim the advances came from him, just like you think the advances came from that 12 year old. As this same doctor demonstrates in a dedicated video about women who commit these types of offenses, they never take any responsibility and just blame the kid.
That feeling of "being a teenager" around young boys is also a Hallmark of female predators. It is not a normal reaction and the fact that even to this day you believe that acting on it wouldn't be abusive demonstrates that you habe the same Narcissistic and predatory mindset as Mary.
You did not have "chemistry" with a 16 year old boy at 30, there is no such thing. Those feelings you mention were merely your sexual perversions rising to the surface. Thankfully you had enough humanity left in you to not act on it, but you still hold these perversions as you empathize with Mary even though she was 35 engaging in such acts with a 12 year old (the Dr. Gets it wrong saying he was 13, he was 12 when it first started. And of course you would claim the advances came from him, just like you think the advances came from that 12 year old. As this same doctor demonstrates in a dedicated video about women who commit these types of offenses, they never take any responsibility and just blame the kid. That feeling of "being a teenager" around young boys is also a Hallmark of female predators. It is not a normal reaction and the fact that even to this day you believe that acting on it wouldn't be abusive demonstrates that you habe the same Narcissistic and predatory mindset as Mary.
But in reality you still would've been abusing him, and yet even to this day you feel like it would be justified. Same narcissistic and predatory mindset as Mary.
She also did something very characteristic of narcissists in the realm of self love and "incestuous tendencies" if you will. Vili was her son's friend...both the same age. Vili would hang out over her house as her son's friend yet she felt an attraction. This association would immediately turn off a normal person, but the narcissist would find a malignant pleasure in that opportunity. I am not a psychologist, but am well read on narcissists and I just get that awful funky narcissists vibe there! Thanks again Dr!
Like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty
Her lack of accountability was disturbing. There are many reasons to behave ethically, if nothing else it’s so much easier. Immoral behavior takes work - all the lying, planning, being caught, going to prison...
I am glad you did this video, I just saw the interview with her and Fualaau and I thought it would be great if you were to address this.
Thank you for all you do Dr. Grande. ❤️
I don't think her parents ever taught her about accountability and ethics, and she was not intelligent enough to teach herself about these things on her own as an adult. That is my guess.
Good points
Respectfully, because Mary Kay died a few days ago and regardless there are two teenage girls mourning her loss...BUT you're right Dr. Grande...Mary Kay was a criminal and very much a child sex offender. You gracefully explained her Narcissistic mentality. Thank you lol because this particular scenario I could only shake my head too.
I can only imagine how confusing this must be for her and Vili's daughters.
U should watch the update on them. Even as an adult fallow was being abused by her
@@catherineparis8678 Fulau. Vili Fulau.
I think that when her brother die in front of Mary kay something in her brain stop working. When that happened mary kay couldn't help her brother caus she was a little child but when she ment Fillau thinking i can help and save this kid. It turned into. Lust in her sick mine fillau gave her feelings she never felt b4. If it feels good everthing is ok in her sick mine..mary kay wouldn't control her sick desires. She new it was wrong she didn't care i called it a selfish act she care only about herself and what she wanted and she wanted him and she was going to get him no matter what the world said plus ahe got alot attention she wanted that too nothing wrong with her metaly. Just a pure selfish woman.wanting her own way and she got it no matter who she hurt.
@@catherineparis8678 Do you know how to spell?
To me, she seemed like a boy crazy, love sick thirteen-year-old girl in a middle-aged woman's body. I believe she had an underdeveloped brain or she had a trauma in her past that kept her stuck at a certain age. I agree that she was narcissist, but had no awareness of how she impacts other people. I also saw her as fantasist who lived in her own reality...like you said she couldn't understand how her actions may be wrong. It's hard for me to believe that they were two star-crossed lovers...I believe they were both two needy & codependent people...that feared abandonment & both had a desperate need to be loved...that's why they kept coming back to each other even after her incarcerations. They both wanted to be these two crazy kids in love, when they were really more in love with the fantasy.
I agree
when she was a child her younger brother drowned in a pool and died when she was supposed to be watching him that could explain some trauma she endured bc I sorta thought the same thing too still doesn't justify what she did
@@LPSCREEPYTV She could also have killed him because she felt he was taking away from the attention she deserved. Not out of the realm of possibility for a narcissist.
Morning Glory: You certainly summed it all up accurately. Also I hear of older men who are young girl crazy frequently. Those men usually end up getting incarcerated immediately and seem to get longer prison sentences.
@Monica Fajardo I think she was imagining possibly that she was replacing her brother that she lost in a swimming pool drowning and this is I think likely what set her off in her behavior.
She was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder...not Bipolar by a Psychologist during one of the trials. I know because that was the first time I ever heard of this disorder.
The interview of her with Fillaau few years ago was hard to watch. She’s domineering over the young man. He seemed like brainwashed! She wouldn’t allow him to talk without swaying the issue to her favor. Filaau looked overpowered by her. Remember, he was a child for years in their relationship. She was able to groom him to make their illicit relationship like a wondrous forever love affair. He looked psychologically manipulated and imprisoned into staying in the relationship.
Where can I find the interview?
Yes, that was very sick video. Is this the one where she asked nineteen times, “who was in charge?” until Vili reluctantly stated “I was,” as if she required him to believe that. I saw it too, but couldn’t find it after she died. If anyone does, please post a link
Was this interview with Barbara Walters? I remember seeing it. Their daughters are beautiful and smart. I think they sing and have beautiful voices.
When she started having a relationship with him, it’s like she saw herself the same age as him. I think her father was bipolar
I also noticed the same thing.
@@jackiec9285 It was not the Barbara Walters interview. That interview was with a male interviewer. If I can find it I will let everyone know.
if she didn't think it was wrong (or a crime) why did she lie to the police during that 1st encounter? She told them he was a family friend, and that he was 18 y.o ie the legal age. She adjusted her story as she went along to look less predatory. Too bad that she has died. Not sure if she had any contact with any of the children that she gave birth to. I hope this young man that she sank her claws into is not too screwed up over this very strange chapter in his life. Today a victim of sexual abuse would not be identified. His name is so unique it was hard and now almost impossible for him to be anonymous. (never mind that he subsequently married her, participated in joint tv interviews,etc) How his mother allowed him to go with her that night and not have a meltdown (why are you out of the house at this time of night!). He was not protected.
Spot-on comment! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
I am so online with her thinking and I am a very intelligent and moral person. I will explain. First, morality is defined by a society. It is neither truth or fixed. I years past some children were married off at 13 or 14. Society had no problem with this custom. Finally, psychologists who feel damage will always be done to a 13 year old boy who has a sexual encounter are not looking at the individuality of each person and maturity levels. Some boys are ready to be sexually active at younger ages perhaps more than girls of the same age. Physical maturity is based on hormone levels which vary greatly between teens. What about the maturity levels of some teens? Again, they can also vary.
Most importantly is the notion of forcing a person against their will. Im positive Laterno did not use force in the sex act. Billy was obviously willing and eager to experience these emotions. The emotions of these two people were stronger and more lasting than many if not all romantic experiences. In calling Mary Kay as immature and narcissistic is not based on many facts as their relationship and love outlasted most people in this day and age. A beautiful thing.
Now, if Mary Kay did anything wrong it was cheating on her husband. This was her crime. Unfortunately people were hurt because of it and that is not at all moral. But extra marital affairs are not only legal in this den of iniquity we experience in today's immoral climate. Our society finds it normal and perfectly moral. None of this has anything to do with age appropriateness.
Age is a number. There are many factors that age has no bearing on. Maturity, physical and emotional, and sociological norms. People who are able to look at love as permanent and lasting are rare.
Laws are arbitrary within a society at any given time. Natural law should be taken into consideration when justice is served. Mary Kay did nothing wrong that should have caused her to go to jail. She was a moral person, a committed mother, but who sinned. She made the mistake of cheating. But the person she chose was the right one. She and Billy were corageous and loved greatly. How one cannot see that, you cannot see outside your own age prejudice.
Sorry, I listen to your channel and I'm disappointed in you.
Maybe he was abandon but my whole family would fight this woman if it was me😤
@@janeellenseal Nope. Wrong answer. 12 yo and 32 yo are not okay to sleep together. We know early exposure to sex does have devastating affects on children. Also.. disgusting. A grown woman wanting a young boy who hasn't even finished puberty? Watch yourself before you end up on a list, Ma'am. Also stay away from my children. Or anyone else's for that matter.
'She was able to keep reality at arms length.' Great line lol
She and reality social distanced
😂
What does it mean?
Vili never got to enjoy his youth and was manipulated throughout their relationship, and I was so happy to see him free from her after their separation. He managed to be such a good father despite it all.
One word comes to mind when hearing all of this: Selfish. I feel bad for the child victim, who is now an adult. I also feel bad for her actual children, who are real victims here - not her. Very interesting analysis. Thanks!
I said that too.
Sounds a lot like how her father behaved, doesn’t it?
@@echase416 BINGO!! 🎯🎯🎯
Is this malignant narcissism perhaps?
Not only her children with Filau, but she essentially abandoned her 4 children with Letourneau to pursue a relationship with a boy young enough to be their brother.
Interesting that she repeated her father's behaviour.
This is important because her dad’s actions broke her mentally and she never healed. In her mind, she was 13 years old.
THIS
I think that's the key to it
@@Channel-rm8yh Mmmm you don't need to defend her actions.
Perhaps her fathers actions normalized that behavior for her but don't go excusing her behavior that's unacceptable
Very.
My fiance went through the same thing. She was his teacher, he was 12, she was 43 and they got caught having sex in her car by the cops and they just let them go. Before we got together, he had only ever been with her and married to her for 20 yrs and she thinks there's nothing wrong with what she did either. It's didn't catch up to him that he was abused the whole time till 35 when it all started coming together. He needs therapy now but can't afford it but I can see the pain in his eyes every time something like this is in the news. No one was watching the female teachers, everyone was always worried about a girl being abused by a man. She took those years of dating and learning from him, it's very sad, because he is just now growing up, a 12 yr old boy in a man's body.
Yes he is he’s a full man handsome grown mid 30s now his daughters look like his sisters or gfs they r gorgrous
I found this one very compelling. I'd never heard of "investment fantasy" before. She was definitely living in her own version of reality.
Same. Fascinating, but so deeply disturbing!
I think she knew exactly what she was doing she was just selfish not caring what it did to others it was all about her
I'm 48 and at no time in my life did I look at a 13 year old and think: wow, he'd make a wonderful husband someday; I'd better get busy now.
She was certifiably crazy and she ruined Vili's life.
But your diagnosis is good too. 😂 Thanx Dr.G.
lol I’m 51 and couldn’t agree more!!
He’s not diagnosing
Listening to her made it obvious to me that she wasn't all there.
I agree, Poppy! WTH is wrong with these ppl? Ugh!
they probably wouldnt look at you either...
the child was 13 when she started with him. Disgraceful
I think he was 12 actually
I thought he was younger than that
He was actually 7 when she met him, she was his second grade teacher. But the sexual relationship (as far as we know) was not started until 12.
Yes, that says it all...and the fact that she taught him when he was SEVEN YEARS old and watched him grow up...there is no excuse...she cannot plead ignorance considering that was her history with him.
@,nettie a , Exactly. He was way too young for such activities
Oh my gosh, Dr. Grande, you're wonderful. I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I heard you describing Letourneau's math (in)abilities. Yet she taught math. It fits so perfectly with the rest of her personality it's almost impossible to believe--but it's true. Thank you so much for making me not only smile, but laugh--I've been going through a deep loss of a beloved companion animal of fifteen years, and you're the first person who's actually made me laugh in over a month. God bless you and your sense of humor, and of course thank you for your wonderful insight.
I lived about a mile from both parties and my daughter grew up with Vili Fualaau, living not far from us around Arbor Heights, South West Seattle. Mary Kay taught at Arbor Heights School so many of my friends knew her. According to my daughter and her friends, Vili had a slight mustache when he was 12-13 and was almost 6 feet tall. He had already been sleeping with many local high school girls as he was good-looking too. My daughter said he smoked weed at that age and drank beer. He wasn't innocent. Yes, his family was very religious, were Samoan and their extended family lived in the same house which was typical coming from Samoa. Big families live together in Samoa as do many in Pacific Island countries. Samoan's haven't been as westernized as others and tend to have jobs and small businesses working together. Kids absolutely obey their parents in this culture and many think Americans are too lenient with their kids. Of course no one in his family knew what he was up to and his parents would have exploded as would any parent. It wasn't often they spent time with many non-Samoans. While Mary Kay was in prison, Vili's mother raised their kids as he continued running around. He was never faithful and most kids at the time said he wasn't in love with her at all, but his parents put pressure on him to do the right thing and marry her when she got out, so he did. He had to do what his parents told him to do.
Yea. We believe you and your daughter!
Crazy that the parents would encourage their son to marry his molester.
I think her looks were very misleading because she looked so harmless and innocent.
Yes, she looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Total wackadoodle though!
She was very creepy looking to me.
there is no such thing as looking harmless and innocent. a dangerous person can look like anyone and a good person can look like anyone as well
@@Mouser21 she gives me a weird vibe
I really like & respect you Dr Grande. You speak at a level I can understand, are nonjudmental & nonsensationalized. TY🌹
You want to see judgemental see his video on Shane Dawson. That is about as judgemental as it gets. The ine on Tati Westbrook is only slightly less judgemental.
@@faith6833 He's allowed to form judgments. That's healthy behaviour. Condemning people is not purposeful and he never does that.
@@faith6833 deserved though
Yeah pragmatic approach nothing phases him at all
I live in WA, just maybe 2 miles from the women’s prison where she was detained . It was a huge story for years. I did not know she had died. There was a romantic book written about them in France, as though it was lovely and normal. What stood out in the case is that the boy was quite young looking, even for a thirteen year old, which is my memory of when she first committed child sexual abuse against him, looking more like a ten year old. Unless I am wrong the two of them got together as a couple after he turned 18, and she was released from prison? There was something very wrong in her behavioral compass. If you are willing to overlook the obvious age problem, if she truly felt they were soulmates that transcended time and space, possibly she could have waited about 20 years, until he was an adult, and at the same time given her poor children from her first marriage the childhood they deserved.
Omg OF COURSE IN FRANCE
Her first husband was very young and boyish looking. Even though he was a grown man and her age he looked boyish. I really wonder if her behavior somehow relates back to her baby brother drowning when she was supposed to be watching him in some twisted psychological way. I do feel sorry for him. He was manipulated She definitely had some psychological problems. She was a pretty lady but not right in the head.
I think she was very controlling and manipulative. And somehow delusional, which becomes evident when you watch her interviews. She had no insight into her behaviour. I feel for Vili as his life was ruined by Mary Kay's actions. I feel for her children. May she RIP after all.
Mary Kay was in complete denial about her actions. Just hearing ever being interviewed, you could tell she was off mentally. Very immature also. Somehow she related to Fualaau bc she too was child like. She was definitely a pedophile but I truly believe, in her distorted thinking, she felt they were soul mates and made it "ok" to have a relationship with him. That poor man has been abused. I hope he gets the help he needs. Just bc she died doesn't mean she's still not present in his life.
She'll always be present since she had children with him.
When I've talked to pedophiles (it's quite challenging and one my coworkers simply refused - "I can't be objective and do a good job" - and to be honest I had a hard time too keeping it professional), what they had in common was this idea that they knew that society thought is was wrong, but society didn't see the truth, society was wrong. They could say something like "she came on to me, she made the first move, she was flirtatious" etc. And "she" could be an eight year old girl. They claimed it was a mutual thing. Everybody in their right mind that sees an eight year old knows that's ridiculous. Once, just once, I met a young man that had fantasies about having sex with a child, that sought help. He wanted help to not act on these fantasies. He was repulsed by his own urges. I think when it's a woman that's an abuser, and the victim is a boy, people tend to not see it as just as bad as if the abuser was a man. People are reluctant to recognize that women too can be sex offenders.
Edit: Vivien Leigh is not my real name, and I don't live in the US, so the patients can't be identified even the slightest.
I seriously don't think this woman was a pedophile. She wouldn't have been attracted to the boy after he had gone through puberty. She also had no history of molesting pre pubescent children and there was no evidence of this anywhere . Her first husband was the same age. She was obviously attracted to sexually developed males but because of her personality disorders she lacked boundaries and didn't care about offending deep social taboos.
its just an excuse they make up
@@Billybloop lots of pedos are married tho
Annabel Lee and We Are one, Thank you!🙏 And 00 00, I don't know if he'd hit puberty or not. There's such a thing as hebephilia and then you're talking about hebephiles, it's when the child has hit puberty. To me that's semantics. He was 12 and to me that's a child. And the fact that she's married to an adult doesn't say much.
@@rishaa682 Yes but there is usually a pattern of them molesting and having multiple images of pre pubescent children. Even if she was not a pedophile and was purely just a predator that liked more vulnerable lovers than herself, which is almost unheard of in heterosexual women, then there would be a larger history of this. For a heterosexual woman to be attracted to a male she has to view him as being strong and capable. Women almost always like men who are larger than them in stature and physically stronger. It's no exception with adult women who have physical relationships with teenage boys. The boy is always physically developed and larger than the woman. That doesn't mean however that his brain is mature, usually women who end up such relationships lack maturity themselves so them the boy seems like a man.
I saw their documentary last year. MKL appeared to have the emotional maturity of an unstable 14 yr old. May she RIP, but she really upended so many lives.
Yet another astute analysis by the brilliant, Dr. Grande. I loved how you explored the drivers of behaviour and underlying dynamics of this case. Your humour is equally as delightful. Keep on being you!💙
I have watched interviews with her and her husband, and found her to be emotionally immature. Her husband, in young adulthood had surpassed her in maturity, and he even seemed slightly embarrassed by her emotional immaturity. She definitely victimized a very vulnerable person (she denies that he was a vulnerable target).
"I'm not convinced Letourneau was intelligent" 😂😂
haruspex yah I loved that line too
I don't see how that's amusing. That's an objective explanation, not a joke or an insult.
@@Billybloop It was more the blunt delivery of something that people wouldn't usually say candidly that I found humorous, it caught me offguard. But he's not wrong
She wasn't intelligent.
I actually think she sits somewhere on the spectrum
Good analysis, Dr Grande.
My feeling is Mary Kay's irrational thinking was extremely influenced by the death of her brother when they were children. Her behavior and rationalizations is a kind of a warped psychological way to reclaim her little brother in her mind. Doing this would relieve her of guilt and fill the love loss and the empty space that his death left in her. I'm guessing that as a little girl she really loved her brother and she was very psychologically vulnerable at the time.
It reminds me of the character Humbert Humbert and his irrational obsession with Dolores in the novel Lolita. Humbert transferred his feelings from his deceased childhood girlfriend onto Dolores. To Humbert, the relationship was like going back in time in order to recapture what he lost at an influential time in his childhood.
Like Mary Kay, Humbert was willing to twist logic, flaunt the law, all moral standards and taboos to achieve this. Many of these feelings would be below conscience level and explains some of the magical thinking. Like, their meeting was destiny, made in heaven or designed by the gods.
There is no way to prove it but I feel confident that Mary Kay would not have behaved this way toward this boy had she not lost her brother at a very vulnerable time in her childhood.
This story still upsets me. Mary Kay and I were born in the same year. When she preyed on Villi, she was a 34 year old married woman with 4 young children and Villi was her 12 year old 6th grade student. This is an outrageous case of preying on a child. Yes, I know that she and Villi later married and had 2 girls, but she preyed on him. She was in a position of power 22 years older. He was only 12. The system was very lenient on her. This was not a love story!
Thank you, Dr. Grande! It's unbelievable that she was educated enough to be a teacher; yet didn't understand that there is an age of consent. I don't believe that. She had to have known.
She would not have given false names to law enforcement when they were located at the marina in the van is she did not know she was doing something prohibited.
Im certain they teach you at teachers school that you arent allowed to get sexy with the students. Shes a pedophile rapist, plain and simple.
I agree. It simply doesn't seem possible that she could have gone through the training to attain a teaching license (and, one would imagine, the understanding that as a teacher she was a mandated reporter) without somehow ever being made aware that sexually abusing children was both illegal and immoral. I call major BS.
Not to mention, she certainly knew when she was arrested and charged, but yet she did it again!
@@mightygeshe Exactly! She even acted sooo tearful & remorseful at her sentencing hearing, begging the judge "help me" and saying "I did something that was so wrong," etc.
She may have been mentally ill and/or without a working conscience...but I doubt she had total amnesia of her whole remorseful act in court, y'know? IMHO, she knew *exactly* what she was doing!
I'm a psych major and am working towards getting my degree, and we talked about this case in my Abnormal Psych class when we were going over pedophilic disorder. I actually remember when this happened. I was about 7 or 8 and it's one of the first major "grown up" news stories that I can remember being aware of and interested in. I don't know how much I actually comprehended, but I remember asking my mom about about a million questions any time it would come on TV or if we were at the store and I saw pictures on the cover of various magazines. I had never heard of such a thing before and she explained it the best she could for how old I was. I knew not to talk to strangers and to never get in a car with someone I didn't know, but I had always just assumed I could trust my teachers.
I do hope that in class they explained the difference between pedophilia and ephebephilia. They are two different things.
@@erynlasgalen1949if we’re being technical, I believe you are referring to hebephilia, no?
@chuckbub1 I just googled, and I misspelled ephebophilia. I think it means the same thing as hebephilia. Same thing, really. It means an attraction to teens who are past puberty. There is a world of difference between a 'child' of seventeen and a child of seven. True pedophiles (I'm using the American spelling) often lose interest once a child reaches puberty.
Being a former teacher, this story makes me sick!She acted very childish and unprofessional. This
"child abuse" between women teachers/students happens more than people would believe. Most of these women don't want to grow up(IMO) but want to live vicariously through their victim. *I taught grades 7-12 and was NEVER attracted to a student!😳🤢However,
I did "fall in love" with a 13 year old 7th grader😱...just not the way Mary Lou did. I wanted to adopt him. I wanted to give him a loving & safe home. Maybe if I had done that, his life would have taken a different path. We write each other since he is in prison. He is sweet, respectful & has continued his education. I am so anxious to see him released...🙏 Christmas 2021!
I imagine, now in his mid 30's, he is very handsome! However, to me, he is like a son that I can't wait to see, hug, and tell how proud I am of him! I don't mean to say I am a better person or teacher. Just saying,
it's ok to have special feelings for a student; it is not ok to seduce them!
They may need love---
a parent's love. (Now I am going to watch video you mentioned). Bless you, Dr. Grande! ✌️🙏♥️
In the interview with the Australian reporter, he characterized the situation with MKL and Vili as the longest running case of child abuse in history. I would agree. Also, what do we think about the possibility of Vili suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?
Exactly! During the interview, his eyes gradually started looking like he's realizing what his teacher did to him when he was a child.
Definitely SS. Bc if it wasn’t “love” than it was abuse. And neither of them could break that illusion to call it what it was. Sad. He deserved better. If we saw the genders reversed, there would be no question. Knocking up a 12 yo and her marrying the guy out of jail. There would be an uproar. But the us against the world, nobody loves you like I do especially after this public scandal.. ofc a CHILD would go back to the offender.
A simpler explanation is that Mary Kay was emotionally arrested about the time of the accident with her brother's drowning. She was 11 at the time. This would make an affair with a 13 year old boy seem to be, oddly enough, an emotionally "age appropriate" attraction. Her later descriptions of her relationship with Vili as "eternal" sounds very much like that of an early adolescent girl. Once again Dr. Grande, a developmental approach above and beyond the OCEAN analysis would be a productive avenue to consider.
I could get on board with that. He was 12. She was a pedophile with cluster B traits for sure. But that’s also developmentally on par with an 11 year old. Not taking responsibility,lying, and fantasizing. Described as “boy crazy.” So what she did was wrong on all accounts but the arrested development could lend to a clear answer of why she did it. We can only gather information so as to prevent sexual abuse of children in the future. Not perpetuate the offender’s delusion. That’s a slippery slope. I mean now we have a MAP flag. JFC
Even though you talk about a lot of tough subjects, it's so nice to listen to you always. You're always rational and smart, thanks!
She was disturbed until the end, she didn’t believe she was going to die. When it was obvious she was dying, she told Vilil she couldn’t believe she was actually going to die. I think she lived in denial of reality her whole life and lived in a fantasy. I think facing her death was the only moment she saw reality. She was highly narcissistic. I agree Dr.Grande that making up her version of what was right, was a very dangerous form of narcissism.
"She was not required to register as a sex offender."
WHAT.
I am so glad he is finally free from her. Imagine having a teacher become your oppressor, mother figure, then your wife. What she did was disgusting and evil.
Kita Heard Do you have any way of knowing if he feels that way? I wonder how he now feels and the quality of his relationship with his daughters.
Kevin Hornbuckle have you seen interviews? He literally has voiced that if the same thing had happened to his daughters, he would protect them. You can feel the resentment he had toward her in the interviews as well.
She is all he knows... but villi has proven he is a survivor. Then girls are grown and in their 20s he in his mid 30s he now can be free to live finally
Nope it wasn't evil. He also is totally at ownership over what occurred. It wasn't just her. They also love each other very much
@@kitaheard4790 not true at all, you totally misunderstood the interview and Vilis reaction. He doesn't hate Mary at all. He is obviously loves Mary alot, however, he also knows that society and the interviewer are judging him and Mary, that is what caused the awkward expressions on his face
I despise when people use bipolar as a defense. Having a family member that is bipolar and has never been crimes like this. I think fualaau raise some beautiful kids he should be proud of that. I do feel for all the children in this case losing your mom
It probably isn't her using that as a defense. Defense attorneys are duty bound to use every scrap of possible defense, even when it is questionable.
@@evelynwaugh4053 certain group always pull the metal issue card as if they exempt to commit crimes. I guess thier evil ancestors had mental issue too. Next
People with bipolar are prone to behaving in extreme and unstable ways when they are in the manic phase. A lot of these behaviors are dangerous and unpredictable. However bipolar wouldn't explain this woman's relationship with the boy. Mania doesn't usually last many years.
I have bipolar disorder. It's entirely controlled with medication. You wouldn't know I have it unless I tell you. I've never committed any wild crimes or even done anything particularly bizarre.
Given, some people are affected more severely than I am. But generally speaking, bipolar disorder doesn't cause sex crimes, and people who suffer from it are still far more likely to be victims of a crime (particularly violent crime) than we are to commit a crime ourselves.
Yeah I’m bipolar and I’ve never deliberately hurt someone... definitely never assaulted anyone. It’s not an excuse or a cause for this type of behavior. Bipolar magnifies emotions but does not cause you to become a straight up predatory disgusting person. There are other traits going on there.
I remember this case well. I live in NZ and it even hit the headlines here. I cant believe she didn’t know she was in the wrong in terms of his age, she was a teacher. Surely in progressive USA there would have been rules governing her practice as a teacher in terms of not dating a student and in terms of age...? Thanks for the insights Dr G.
Yup. We specifically have trainings about this behavior and to not engage with children inappropriately. She’s a gd liar. Teachers undergo background checks for this reason! She think we're all idiots?!
@@Saylessdomore109 yes, 100% agree with background checks, we have them here too in all professions that deal with children in any capacity
@@Jesterjones9073A background check wouldn't have brought anything up on her.
One of my teachers went to high school Mary's husband, Steve. She said they were friends and that he was a great guy. This was such a unbelievably weird story to hear about at the time. How times have changed...
The only bad thing about Dr. Grande’s videos is that they come to an end.😐
Keep up the amazing work Doctor:)
I don't know how he does it because he posts more frequently than anyone else I follow. It's always really enlightening.
Life & DIY - I feel the same. His opinions and thoughts really speak to me.
I'm glad hes finally free of her. Maybe with her out of the picture, he can finally understand what really happened to him all those years.
He will need a lot of therapy
Exactly. Good point. Or maybe he can't accept it - who knows. Just hope the kids involved are somehow managing through all this crap they've been brought up in.
@@LifeDIY apparently Faulaau and all of her kids were with her when she died, they forgave her....
It will be interesting to see what develops.
Yes good riddance
3:07 when I see that picture. I see a woman who wants to be a teenager all over again. I find that women who are in their mid 20's and above who date men/boys who are 20 and below almost always have a immature mind when it comes to common sense. They may even be professionals in their job occupation.
I agree and think this is common with female abusers. They have an arrested development where they are "running away" from adulthood. They also seem to have a very compliant nature, like what they think of as a teenage girl would have, where if a boy shows interest in them, they do not discourage it and even says "he was the one hitting on me" and in her mind, since she was not the "initiator" it was not her actively seducing and grooming. That of course is nonsense, but she did not see him as a 13 year old, I think, in her messed up head, she just saw him as a man showing interest and she "fell" for him.
The main question on my mind is why the heck was she tempted in the first place? What kind of adult is sexually attracted to a 12 or 13-year-old? There's nothing to be sexually attracted to at that young of an age, so I just can't understand why those aberrant thoughts even crossed her mind. I'm really glad I can't. Just incredibly bizarre.
I agree totally. Although another poster on here said their kids went to school w him and at that age he was already 6 feet tall w a slight mustache. But yeah. I can't see that at all. Not 12 or 13. I have 2 sons. I would have flipped if an adult woman came onto them.
Thank you so much for uploading this video topic that I requested. Your commentary was interesting & on point, Dr. Grande. Letourneau is a sick woman. As a survivor and a teacher, I’m sickened by her behavior and justifications. I hope that Villi can heal and overcome from some of the damage she caused.
*was
Who else clicks and “likes” before he finishes saying “Hello, I’m Dr. Grande!”
Laurie Bailey -Always
Yup, always. Dr. Grande always has fascinating content, always so well presented too.
🤚
I remember years ago, GMA had this "couple" on and I was so off put about the way SHE talked about their "relationship." Like he didn't even seem to be all onboard with everything she was saying, especially when she talked about him specifically. She was all like "you called me your girlfriend" and he was all like "did I?" She violated him as a child and mentally abused him as an adult. So sad, I hope he gets help and works any trauma he might have.
Dr.Grande.
Thank you for another educational & enlightening analysis...
Most prenounced to me was your highlighting "her fantasy".
Which sustained her resistance to morality, legality and humanity... towards a boy who was not old enough to make responsible decisions.
For years, the "fantasy" continued to sustain her.... to rationalize dismissing her responsibility as a parent (to her children who will never understand their abandonment).
And to deny her wrongdoing during years of incarceration.
Thanks again!
Benita
Thank you for speaking with a level of empathy and compassion sprinkled with a dash of sarcasm. She is now gone and whether you love or hate her...she leaves six children to mourn. I guess that’s the nurse in me. 🤦🏻♀️😕
Mary ISN'T all bad at all. She had some amazing character as well. The whole scenario isn't black and white...it's a very unusual case.
@@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457 why do you keep defending her? Really? Do you think 13 year olds can consent?
@@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457 Adolf Hitler loved dogs
@@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457 you must be smoking crack.
But surely if she studied to be a teacher, they must have taught her about child safety.
You can’t teach someone to care about and respect the teaching though.
@@Amazing_missB I got a teaching credential 18 years ago, and while I don't remember them discussing boundaries with students much during training, they certainly warn you about them once you're hired to be a teacher. Did you ever work in the classroom or just complete graduate school? Before I started my job, I was warned to avoid being alone with students and to keep classroom doors open, should a student enter the classroom alone. I was also warned not to touch students, even if it was to console them. This was part of my on-the-job training, which differs from what one is taught in graduate school.
No one needs to be taught not to do,this!
Teachers and many other professionals are, after all, mandated reporters." So, of COURSE she was informed and obviously knew the law.
@@Amazing_missB That's both startling and incredibly disturbing to hear! But, sadly, I'm also not terribly surprised. We need to do better.
Jesus. THIS case is ONE to show Dr TG's ULTIMATE professional analysis..
"My grandma got to 100-years-old, so I'm gonna have two children with a 14-years-old student" - makes every sense to me
Ew. Just...ew! Both my grandfathers lived to be close to 100yo, and somehow I feel like barfing just thinking of looking at a child in that way! 🤢🤮
😆
Except she died last year 😳
@@Cococonutt Right! So basically, it makes even *less* sense now than it did when she said it, doesn't it!
"Most of my family lives to be quite old. Time for me to rob a bank."
You know how to break topics down analytically. What a talent you have!
Yes Agree
I remember watching a program in which both were been interviewed, but at the same time they evaluated their moves, words etc.
They concluded that she was the one controlling the relationship. They would asked him something and he he would look at her and she would answered for him. They asked them if they would do what they did all over again, she said yes!
But, he said, no.
I didn't know that she passed away. I hope she was able to make peace with her children from her first marriage before her death. Sad case for everyone involved especially the children.
She did, long ago.
Kids are not loyal to the parent that was wronged.
Love your humor! Villi was definitely the victim of a narcissist predator, as one can see in the interviews, she seemed to have him on a leash. The poor guy.
Wow, Dr. Grande! This is a power-packed analysis! I really appreciate the excellent layout of events, personality details and analysis supported by even more details! Thank you so much for doing so much research on every topic and sharing your insight!!!
and says, "This is gonna be good."
I love this. BPD or Histrionic totally fits her. I like how you touch on the trauma and it possibly causing an effect. I awful felt like she had that stare or look in her eyes that I've seen in people that have experienced trauma. I'm not a professional but I do see this is alot of people I encounter that have had trauma. It always makes me question so many things about what makes people become mentally ill or act out like this. It's like she was able to detach and disassociate especially while in prison. I love your channel. You are so smart and I love you analysis of things. It makes me realize how deep things really go with the human mind. Thank you Dr. Grande your my favorite
Uh, I have BPD and don’t do this. Most people with ANY cluster b disorder don’t unless they are pedophiles. BPD has nine symptoms. You need five of those nine to have it. She had one and that can be anything. I’m sorry but NPD fits. My dad has NPD and her lack of remorse and accountability fit that. As someone with BPD, I get remorse just by flipping someone off.
The way society is “progressing,” in a few years, this will be seen as another variation of “love is love.”
Yours is one of my very favorite channels on CZcams. I thoroughly enjoy your delivery, and I have NEVER been able to detect your personal opinion in any of the cases you present.
You are excellent at what you do.
“She was bad at math. “. 😂
:-)
😂😂
Mmm-hmmm. Yeah. Now, *I'm* truly terrible at math (I have dyscalculia) but somehow I've still never managed to unwittingly abuse a vulnerable child. Amazing, no? 🙄
I wouldn't say she was bad at math, after all she did teach the kid how to "divide" and "multiple."
At first I thought Dr. Grande was boring. But now I like his detached and professional approach to psychology. Ive been listening more and I find it interesting. Thanks for the content.
Remarkable perspectives and very educational and interesting case. I find your videos to be very educational and well produced. Very well narrated and hope you continue your great work.
Thank you for the fluency and clarity in your analyzes that make psycho analysis interesting and enjoyable for lay people like me.
Todd, what about the French President (b.1977) and his senior wife (b.1953) ? I am just curious what you think. Needless to say I am not a fan. They were also student and teacher. He was 15.
I don't judge the age gap but it is unfortunate that they met when he was her student. I think teacher/student relationships are inherently predatory.
They are both adults, age doesn`t matter then. My ex was 16 years younger than me, and it was great! We are still good friends. I could never fall for anyone older than me!
@@songwithoutword Madame Macron was not only his teacher but she was married with young children when they began their "romance."
Yannis Michael I thought of exactly the same thing.
When they are together side by side they look like Son and Mother !
Magical thinking galore! ✨
All in all this case is a tragedy for everyone this woman “loved”.
The fact that if she was a male they would have thrown the book at her and would not have tolerated these polite police encounters. He also had 17 siblings and his father remarried 3 or 4 times. I think she prayed upon his lack of attention and lack of connection with healthy loving relationships with boundaries
I haven't watched the video yet but I know it's going to be great. I would love a video on Bobby Fischer's mental state if possible!
That would be interesting
I'm surprised you only touched on the trauma of being 11 years old and having your 3 year old brother drown while you were watching him. I feel like whoever she was going to be later in life was significantly altered that day, and obviously not in a good way. So it makes sense that she has that sort of narcissistic "who me, a criminal?" way about her as well as a childlike seemingly clueless demeanor. Also, and you mentioned this in the video, she was able to deal with being away from her first four children while in prison by simply not allowing herself to think about that pain. She is someone who is able to compartmentalize a lot as well as make this sad and sick fantasy of true love with Vili a reality for 20 years. She was just so so damaged, I thought your analysis of her would be more therapeutically compassionate and less "legal." But of course I enjoyed the video as I do all of your videos! Thank you for the great content.
I haven’t watched this analysis yet. Let’s see how I did: I just watched her more recent interview and as a recovering borderline myself I spied some BPD and narcissist traits pretty quickly! Mostly the latter. During the interview she acted very entitled, she controlled the narrative, she STARED at Villi with her head twisted sharply to the side (looked uncomfortable) when he spoke as if to say “you better not screw up and say the wrong thing”. when the interviewer asked HIM a question she tried to answer it, and a BOY made her feel loved. Aka: he met her narcissist “supply”. She also got extremely defensive and tried to gaslight us- suggesting their relationship when he was 12 was ok because she was no longer his teacher by the time they had sex 🤮. This is classic narc behavior (avoiding shame). In the real world she was given a slap on the wrist but had to obey the rules of her probation and she immediately broke them- which sent her back to prison for SEVEN YEARS because she continued her sick relationship with him. The obsession she had with this kid is what makes me think borderline, but her controlling and entitled nature says NPD. 25% of borderlines are also narcs so…. (Time to watch dr G now…)
I remember this case. My problem is that I’m less than half a year younger than Fualaau and back then I thought I was mature enough to engage in a relationship like that, so I was quite convinced of the star-crossed lovers idea.
It’s on that background that I struggle to condemn her despite knowing that what she did was criminal.
I think she ought to have sought out help when she found herself attracted to a teenager.
I was hoping to see a Dr. Grande video on Mary Kay. I’ve always been fascinated by this case for some reason.
My high school band instructor married a 17 year old student in his late fifties, it was disgusting, but not uncommon.
Yep. A teacher at my former school apparently married a girl as soon as she graduated have the school. He kept his job, too. Disgusting!
@@maneckineckbeard1749 mine too!
Yes, when I was in high school, the band instructor married a student when she graduated. No one was surprised because she was ALWAYS in the band room.
@@kellyschutte2252 Omigosh, when I first saw your reply I was freaking out for a second, because your name looks remarkably like the name of a girl I actually went to school with, LOL! So, just for that second, I was thinking "WTH is going on!? What are the chances that the *same* Kelly from school is here, commenting about the *same* teacher!?" 🤯🤯🤯
@@maneckineckbeard1749 lol….it’s my married name so I’m probably not the person you went to school with! Thanks for writing!
Wow! I'm loving the fact Dr. Grande that you are cranking out these videos practically every day! Thank you!!!!! This is a tragic case. I've been a teacher of middle and high school students for 30 plus years and I cannot imagine how this could happen. Tragic.
As usual, you are spot on with your analysis and the logic of your analysis. I completely agree with your view of her narcissism, refusal to accept any responsibility, refusal to acknowledge he was a LITTLE BOY not some equal to her in any way. I saw her interviewed with Vili I guess a few years before her death and it made me sick to see how she dominated and bullied him, how she consistently refused to accept any responsibility for her actions to the point of appearing psychotic. But I also think she was well aware what she did to satisfy her ID was wrong, she just didn't care that it was wrong because her "relationship" some how satisfied her desires. She clearly could care less about being a mother, as she falsely claimed while in jail. She is also just obviously antisocial personality since she didn't care that society deemed her actions wrong and gross but she continued her criminal behavior after being let out and continued to victimize Villi for years with society's approval. I really hate the double standards, if it was a 13 year old female abused by a 34 year old male teacher, society would fall over backwards to protect the child, instead this poor kid was forced to marry his abuser!
theory 2 makes sense - she didn't go after all children, just this one
Yea -- my suggestion (but also very timely). Thank you, Dr. Grande 😀
Gah, could you imagine being her husband and getting left for a 12 year old? Yikes 😳
She Probably Thought He Would Make Him Feel Young Again And Wanted Attention She Didn't Deserve So She Used A Young Child And Became Sexual Predator Whether She Likes It Or Not She Used Him And May Be Wrong But Willingly Allowed Herself Unplanned Pregnancy With Villi Before he was 18 she wanted him to herself. Man did that he be in prison for ten twenty years
I meant to say man teacher got female student in that position he be in 10 20 years or more
That was such a great analysis and break down with explanations! As an informal student of psychology your insight is so helpful as a way to check my own initial analysis if this case and in guiding one’s comprehension of this type of case and behavior.
was about to head to bed but saw this in my subscriptions. had to give this video a watch, i know it'll be great! thank you for grinding out videos, dr G! always love hearing your input and insight.
Thank you for discussing this! It's nice to hear some informed observations and opinions verses a sensationalised media report.
This story is perhaps your best work. The story, which you crafted well, is painful enough on its own--but your breakdown of the personality and mental health issues is insightful. It's heartbreaking that so many people, including at least six of her own children and her underage victim, suffered greatly--and continue to do so because of this one offender's actions--and yet she seems to have never understood any of that at an intellectual level.
Apart from last post - I have seen numerous interviews. Fualaau always was so respectful and took responsibility however it was clear this was not the life he wanted. She always dominated the interview. However, he really did not fully allow her to dominate. He just seems like a decent man who stood up for the children.
Dr. Grande, also a possible "genetic connection" like the father and his "student"???
mike fromuniontown I was wondering the same thing about her father also being with a student.
The big difference is age. The dad was having an affair with a college student. Mary Kay preyed on a child! She stole his adolescence and young adult hood. Making him a father at 13, so sad.
A learned behavior possibly, not a genetic one.
Yep she was introduced to the subject by a parent who had 2 kids with a student. That is a pattern.
Iniquity.
Thank you for doing this! I just couldn't understand her thought process even seeing interviews. Even in them she never took into Account how he might have felt when he was right there, constantly talking over him. The interview where she asked who's the boss to him was so removed from reality and it didn't look like at any time at all it clicked with her that HE was uncomfortable. Literally took this child along her own ride.
I always want to say so much after your videos, I am in simple disbelief how much you are able to touch on and get us thinking about.
You are a gift! Thank you so much for your work.
Truly inspiring.
“Connect the dots”
Doctor Grande is a treasure.