Woman Dies After Being on Couch for 12 Years | Lacey Fletcher Case Analysis
Vložit
- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze case of Lacey Fletcher?
Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
Subscribe to the Bella Grande Media Podcast: / @bellagrandemedia
Dr. Grande’s book Harm Reduction:
www.amazon.com...
Dr. Grande's book Psychology of Notorious Serial Killers: www.amazon.com...
Check out Dr. Grande’s merchandise at: teespring.com/...
References:
www.thedailybe...
www.theadvocat...
meaww.com/horr...
metro.co.uk/20...
nypost.com/202...
www.dailymail....
You'd have to be heartless to casually walk passed your own flesh and blood starving and rotting into your living room couch. This is 100% murder.
She was on the couch from the age of 25. She died at 36. She was an adult. Her parents didn't owe her anything. Mentally unwell or not, it's not an adult's job to care for another adult.
Well, anyone for that matter. Strangers care for her more than her parents ever did.
@katjapeeters8311 Hi Katja! 👋🏿 My name is: Childfree.
@@TomikaKelly I'm also child free but I have some empathy for other living beings
@@TomikaKellyyou’re a cold piece of work
The coroner not being able to eat for a week due to what they saw speaks volumes. If anyone could handle horror like that, a coroner would be that person. Gives us a glimpse of the trauma.
Yes and I’m sure he’s seen worse . What’s hard for them sometimes is seeing someone in such a bad state that was recently alive with body findings that belongs to a human that should died weeks or months prior.
A coroner was horrified once by an ICU patient that wouldn’t come off life support. Patient was literally brain dead and rotting from inside out but heart kept beating
WOW
@@mary-cate5994I guess she might have looked close to some kind of undead creature from a videogame or something.
@@DioBrando-qr6ye Sloth from Se7en was where my mind went; and that was Hollywood's take on one year of abuse and neglect. I can't even imagine 12.
to be honest that is pretty strange, corners see really, really nasty stuff, this case while obviously pretty bad, shouldn't really faze an experienced corner like that.
They fact that these parents lived in the house and watched their daughter rot to death is disgusting.
It's a democracy she had every right To be on that couch .
Maybe they didn't notice
@@user-po3km8in2h And just got used to the stench. I mean, it was 12 years.
@@Deadfoot-Dan I was being sarcastic 😅😄
@@user-po3km8in2h So was I.
How did this go un-noticed for such a long time? Are you telling me nobody else had been to that house for 12 whole years? No friends, family members, or repair men?
Good question. My speculation on one way how nobody noticed for a long time is due to the politics surrounding the parents. Her mother, until three weeks after Lacey's death, was the vice mayor of their town and not only that, Lacey's aunt is an aldermen in that same town as well along with her uncle (aunts husband) being the towns police chief. Hence, as far as any legal ways are concerned, their positions in their small town afforded them some type of avenue as far as cover ups are concerned. And speaking of the politics surrounding her mother's side of the family, many of Lacey's former classmates are too scared to speak to the media (in the words of Lacey's former teacher)!!!
It's just BS. An anonymous call would have ended that in a second.
Could be. I watch Hoarders and people hide the state of their homes from family and friends for years and years.
@@wanderer3004 True. Unfortunately, if an anonymous call was made to the local police department, there's a good chance that would have been ignored because her uncle happens to be the police chief. Maybe if such a call was made to a different department, who knows but the fact that her uncle is their towns current police chief would have scared some and his position still scares many of her old classmates from meeting with any media at all because of what he or Lacey's councilwoman aunt might do as retaliation
@@honda443 If that is all it took, then everyone who knew and did nothing deserves the same fate as she suffered. They could call the state, the press, go on social media under a false name. They all failed.
Lacey was intellectually sound and able to make her own decisions up until the end?! Oh bull crap, anyone who refuses to leave the sofa and regularly urinates and defecates into it would be deemed incompetent by any reasonable mental health care professional long before they developed flexion contractures of the lower extremities, pressure ulcers to the bone, matted hair with insect infestation, became fused to the sofa and started consuming the foam stuffing as sustenance. None of the foregoing demonstrates “clear thinking”. Her parents should have had her committed long before her physical health deteriorated no matter how much Lacey protested. They neglected her and they don’t have the excuse of mental illness to defend their actions.
I would think that at the very least, a hospital bed, diapers, and some in home health aid assistance would have been appropriate. If Lacy was intellectually disabled or psychologically disabled, she would have qualified for social security disability and medical insurance. Even in my benighted area, there are programs that provide in home health care for the disabled and indigent. Even the most unsophisticated and ignorant would surely understand that a maggot infestation and skin ulcers aren't normal or healthy.
My thoughts also…she became contracted.
Oh I'm sure the "experts" will make up some BS mental illness diagnosis. They always do.
Absolutely correct, Katerina 😢
Parents probably wanted to collect disability checks?
Can you imagine how horrified those police were walking into that but the parents seeming perfectly normal about it??
Id love to see that footage
@@jhoughjr1. Oh hel no. I don’t think I would be able to handle it.
@@jhoughjr1I have a morbid curiosity too. Especially after the fact that they said she was fused to the couch. I mean, that's something different
It baffles me to think of the parents walking around the house all day and how pathetic
@@DwayneIsKinghave u heard about the woman who sat one the toilet so long that she fused to it?!?
Are the parents both deranged? How could they both remain in the house? How could they both do this? It’s so disturbing. Poor Lacey. May she Rest In Peace. She really suffered. 😢
How did nobody smell the parents
She suffered by her own hands. She was an adult and chose to die by couch fusing.
@@terry85mar She was obviously still a dependent. Her parents were still her care givers and should had never neglected her like that.
The parents did a lot of awful crap that they are not admitting to. I doubt we'll ever know exactly what happened.
This. Her *tits were out.* And we’re expected to believe that she stopped moving one day and *they never called an ambulance?* Like… what? If I saw a *stranger on the street* frozen in place and not moving at all I would call emergency services. They did something. This makes *zero* sense.
@@wormwoodcocktailwhy tf did you have to say “her tits were out”? Like wtf is this phrasing
This was neither Love nor Tough Love. They are responsible for this tragedy!
It's possible the dad sexually abused Lacey and that's why she shut down.
Her mother could've blamed and resented her for Clay's sexual indiscretion and got payback by neglecting her.
It's not uncommon for mothers of sexually abused girls to blame the child and mistreat them.
It's also possible Lacey allowed herself to be dirty so her father wouldn't touch her.
It's all so sad, whatever she had to live through.
@Ak27inaz that's an excellent take. All the more disturbing but makes the most sense.
I find it hard to believe that co-workers at their jobs couldn't smell the waft of decay emanating from them. You get on a bus and you can literally smell people's houses coming off them.
I know what you mean. If I haven't eaten all day, I can smell the flavor of candy someone sucking on from a few yards away!!!
@@WillyTheKid2010 Same. I worked with a lady who was probably in her late 50's. Heavy smoker, and she just had this sour smell coming off her all the time. I imagined her home was filthy. I recall her bringing in cookies one time to share and was excited for us to try them. I brought in baking all the time, so I didn't have an excuse. I secretly tossed my cookie after bringing it to my desk. I just couldn't do it.
That's a good point. I didn't even think of that. But you definitely can smell people's houses on them.
This. I have not the strongest of noses and I can smell some folks houses on them. One person smelt strongly of nasty cuz they live in a house with dog poop caked on the floor and they live with dishes on every surface. It's a strong stench. Another person smelt strongly of pee and I think it's due to lack of access to a washing machine, so I offered to help her wash her clothes and she doesn't smell when she has access to clean clothes. But if I can smell a strong negative scent, it's worse for others around me
@@notinavacuum5966that’s so funny 😅
This case is so heartbreaking. I have a daughter that has Autism and bullied at school she began to refuse to leave the house. It was a stressful few years and she was so morbidly depressed and anxious. She’d vomit when forced to leave for counselling treatment session. That was 13 years old. She’s now 17 and thriving. Giving up on helping her overcome her struggles was never an option. It did weigh heavily though. This case is disturbing
May God Continually Bless You for sticking to Your responsibilities as Parents!❤✌️🙏
I call that “a loving push” ❤🎉
I'm glad to hear she's thriving. Just goes to show a simple show of compassion, patience, and persistence is all that is needed. Sure, it would've been a headache with many hurdles at times but that was STILL their daughter, simply giving up on her and letting her deteriorate like that was completely unacceptable. Those last 12 years could have been easily avoided with early intervention.
You are a wonderful human being for taking such loving care of your daughter. My sister also was bullied (IN THE TOWN that this case took place). My parents take care of her, and have her on permanent SSI and make sure she had care even when they physically can’t.
I'm thankful she's doing great now 🙏
I keep thinking that not just feces and urine and rotting body fluids, but for some time, there would have been menstrual blood as well. It's horrifying.
At some point I'm sure but it probably stopped due to her being so underweight and unhealthy.
With starvation, you lose the ability to menstruate long before the "eating the couch stuffing" phase. For most women, stress will affect her period- either in longevity, pain, discharge, or whether or not it even makes an appearance.
I think Lacy didn't have her period for years.
Oh SNAP! YES! The menstrual cycle. EWWWW. Bless this young lady's heart 😢
Severely malnourished girls and women can still have a Period.
They can even have a very heavy flow
They usually have anemia because of all the blood loss and insufficient nutrients
How did the parents not vomit regularly. How could you see, smell and eat in a house that had the horrendous stench of someone literally rotting in front of you!
Its hard to believe her parents watched her wasting away and melting into that lounge and did nothing, so evil and cruel
Well... Parents there are forcing their children to be weird so that they can score some vanity scores. It is not surprising. It is just below the norms.
Indifference& cruelty& awful parents...
I think Dr Grande got it right that they might have felt like they were letting her be that way because she chose to. Just think, she was 36 years old? They surely could have gotten help at some point… but they might have truly thought it was her wish to stay there. So terrible.
@@nillieableabsolutely. It's like some kind of power trip
@@nillieablehardly comparable.
Thank you for covering this. As the parent of a profoundly disabled child who has now passed away this case was so incredibly disturbing to me. We did everything to do our best for our child & then people like this exist. There are parents who abandon their disabled children at the hospital & compared to this at least those kids are taken care of and loved on. This poor women.
Too often when the parents of a disabled or autistic person kill their child - people are quick to defend the parent - they say it was so hard, they say it is such a burden. Unfortunately, too many people think disabled people matter less. Hell, in this case outright murdering her would have been less cruel than what she suffered.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your child.❤ You're right, many people see the disabled as 'less than.' Like a drain on society. This way of thinking seems worse now, than it ever was. In this case, I think Lacey's parents just didn't care about her at all. They knew they should have gotten her into a facility, early on, and chose not to. She died of neglect. She ate part of the couch, nobody does that if they are being fed. They claim Lacey was capable of making her own decisions. Obviously, she wasn't. It's as if they washed their hands of her, and let her die. These 2 never should have had children, in the first place. Anyone can have a child with some sort of special needs, or a severe disability. You never know. People should think about these things before they have children. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, if you're doing it right. This case just breaks my heart. Too bad Lacey didn't have good parents like you. She could have led a good life, with the problems she had. 😢
My heart goes out to you. I hate when people defend this sort of thing. I’m a Direct Support Professional and we help to support mostly adults, but sometimes children, and a lot of those children have been horrifically abused. Why mistreat your own child, especially of services like ours are available to help support not just the client but their caregivers at home. We’re happy to help those in need so…why on earth would something this horrific happen before they look for resources?!
I am so sorry for your loss. 🙏
I'm sorry for your loss. The people you describe in the second paragraph (who defend parents who kill disabled children and dehumanize the disabled or difficult) are the kind of people you want to keep out of your life as much as possible. They ultimately see all people as means to an end. Their highest aim is to pack as much comfort, convenience, and self-fulfillment into their own lives as possible, and the most fundamental way they regard people is as objects who either serve that goal or hinder it.
I'm so sorry for your loss 💐🙏🏾 No parent should bury their child.. May you find strength and peace, and be a hope for people who are dealing with the same!!🙏🏾🙏🏾💐
Wanting to sleep in the living room is a sign that a child feels unsafe, and even cornered in their bedroom. It's a red flag for night time abuse, or just feeling scared cos of a movie.
I think they're guilty of neglect for sure. They probably saw her as a burden and were waiting for her to pass away on her own.
I had this black day bed and I used to pull the bottom bed out a little and squeezed into the space behind it to sleep a lot. Or I'd sleep in my closet. Or not at all. It took me growing up to release how unsafe I felt... I peed the bed and sucked my fingers and dragged a blanket around until I was a teen. I was doing anything I could to feel safe. And I wasn't even sa, just always getting beat up or degraded.... I see kids doing stuff like that all the time and I get why now...
She was 22. The abuse had been going on for a long time.
I read that they came home from vacation and found that she was no longer breathing. That's when they called 911. I think they were releaved that she's gone, not living the pain of her death as the wrote.
My thoughts exactly
What about eating in the bedroom? What’s that a sign of?
As someone who is both autistic and the product of childhood neglect, this was deeply triggering. I’m also around the same age as her (1986).
The word triggering is a terrible one, please consider not using it.
Why?
@@Marcus_WulfhartBeing a d*ck to someone opening up about childhood trauma, because you dont like a word, is terrible. Please consider not doing that.
@@Marcus_Wulfhart shut up
@@macbird-lt8de it´s triggering. *ring ring*
This is one of the most disturbing cases you have ever covered. The level of neglect that young woman suffered is unfathomable.
Omg agree 100% I can’t even imagine what that poor girl went through! 😢
Her mother sounds like she was a street walker who spread her legs and crapped out a kid she didn't want to raise! Just like the rest of these awful "mothers" you hear about!! I have a crappy mother myself who would have done this exact same thing if I didn't run away for my life!!
Definitely. And more disturbing is that those "parents" aren't locked up like the disgusting monsters they are. Why? People who lock their children in closets to starve to death aren't given this leniency. If she were a child would they be behind bars? She spent TWELVE YEARS being neglected and abused to her agonizing death.
Left field here. Lacey hit 14 (puberty) and suddenly, out of nowhere, developed social anxiety disorder and autism? Why does this make me think more of severe trauma, like repeated sexual abuse? It might also explain the reluctance to seek outside help. Not to make this any darker than it already is.
thats what im thinking
My daughter wasn’t diagnosed with those disorders until her teens, and I think that is likely more common than you’d think, but yeah trauma could have been involved.
@@kimmiller4269 Fair. I guess puberty and hormones and all can hit hard. Or other life changes.
Also some sa victims pee and poop on themselves to make themselves less "desireable" to the abuser, which could explain why she did that on the couch. I hope not though. This case is just so awful no matter which way you think about it
Girls are less likely to be diagnosed with autism. Boys usually get diagnosed early on.
This is worse than horrific. What a dreadful death Lacey suffered. May she find herself now on a safer shore and in a greater light with peace in her soul. Rest in peace Lacey.
Let's cheer things up 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜, I am an autistic and intelligent woman myself and if Lacey was still alive, I would have interesting conversation, she liked Disney movies and I like anime, it would be about which Disney Princess is which anime girl and which Disney Prince is which anime boy
which Disney Princess is which anime girl:
Belle = Orihime (Bleach) 💖💖
Amelia = Asuka (Neon Genesis Evangelion) 💖💖
Megara = Chi-Chi/Bulma (Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z) 💖💖
Ariel = Lucia (Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi) 💖💖
Pocahontas = Kagome (Inuyasha) 💖💖
Jasmine = Hinata/Ino (Naruto Shippuden) 💖💖
Eilonwy = Elizabeth/Diane (Seven Deadly Sins) 💖💖
Fa Mulan = Kanao/Nezuko (Demon Slayer Kimetsu No Yaiba) 💖💖
Wendy Darling = Nico Robin (One Piece) 💖💖
Tinkerbelle = Nami (One Piece) 💖💖
Esmeralda = Uraraka/Momo (My Hero Academia) 💖💖
Jane = Mikasa (Attack On Titan) 💖💖
Tiana = Kyoko (Black Cat) 💖💖
Rebecca = Anna/Iron Maiden Jeanne (Shaman King) 💖💖
Dellilah = Eliza Faust (Shaman King) 💖💖
Elena = Lucy (Fairy Tail) 💖💖
Polina = Flo (Pocketville Chronicles) 💖💖
which Disney Prince is which anime boy:
Adam = Ichigo (Bleach) 💙💙
Jim = Shinji (Neon Genesis Evangelion) 💙💙
Hercules = Goku (Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z) 💙💙
Eric = Kaito (Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi) 💙💙
John Rolfe = Inuyasha (Inuyasha) 💙💙
John Smith = Kouga (Inuyasha) 💙💙
Aladdin = Naruto (Naruto Shippuden) 💙💙
Taran = Meliodas (Seven Deadly Sins) 💙💙
Li Shang = Tanjiro (Demon Slayer Kimetsu No Yaiba) 💙💙
Peter Pan = Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece) 💙💙
Quasimodo = Deku (My Hero Academia) 💙💙
Phoebus = Todoroki+Bakugo (My Hero Academia) 💙💙
Tarzan = Eren (Attack On Titan) 💙💙
Naveen = Train (Black Cat) 💙💙
Abel = Yoh (Shaman King) 💙💙
Gilgamesh = Amidamaru (Shaman King) 💙💙
Mateo = Natsu (Fairy Tail) 💙💙
Doug = Kevin (Pocketville Chronicles) 💙💙
This case reminds me of the Turpin case. These two evil parents need to rot like Lacey did. They had plenty of resources to help her and chose not to, by doing absolutely nothing to help her. They deliberately tortured her to death by severely neglecting her and watching her rot away right in front of their own eyes. Thank you for keeping us updated.
This story popped into my head the other day and instantly filled my body with disgust towards the parents. No one…NO ONE deserves this.
No one?
Wrong. Child molesters do.
What about a child molester or her parents? I highly doubt you truly believe NOBODY deserves this....
@@chrisgraham2327thats what you took away from this?
@chrisgraham2327 to do this to any living creature, guilty or innocent, is something that should never happen.
@@poindextertunes 😂🤣😂🤣well questioned
This was not just a case of carelessness, it’s a perfect depiction of malevolence. At some level they indulged in her suffering. Absolutely horrific.
It appears that some sort of "bonding" took place between the parents over their mutual sadistic treatment of Lacey. It was something they "shared". I mean they stayed together as a couple. One would think that at least ONE of them would have the basic human decency to get out of the situation and go for outside help. But that never happened. I thought my parents were screwed up for "bonding" over the maltreatment of their children but my siblings and I had the ability to run away. So we did. Me, first. I set an example by escaping the abuse. The rest followed, including my mother, eventually. Poor Lacey. A friend or sibling or aunt or grandparent could have helped her. Possibly. But nobody did and she couldn't get away on her own. Sigh.
the parents were also mentally ill and autistic too.
@@jabbermocky4520 Jesus Christ, one long paragraph of just blah blah blah... You have no idea if they "bonded" in your words, over neglecting their daughter. You have no idea what kind of relationship these two people had. What you've done here is taken your own experience and intertwined it with a situation and people you know nothing about.
@@Hollypenopepper OK. I can only make guesses like anybody else. I never claimed to know what the issues were in that family. I just guessed. Like you are guessing about me. See how that works?
@@jlllxthis has not been indicated in any records as of yet. everyone around them said they did not exhibit any mental health symptoms and as far as we know so far they are not diagnosed with anything
This is so bizarre that it's hard to comprehend. Extremely cruel and tragic.
I remember when this case first happened. As a former nurse who worked 10 years in pediatric home care, plus hospital and convalescent care, this infuriates me more than I can say! No one in their “right mind” sits on a couch and refuses to leave it to the point of sitting in their own waste and the body literally decaying while still alive.
I can understand how frustrating and powerless the parents must have felt AT FIRST. At some point, you have to take control and force proper care. Granted it is VERY difficult to get mental help for someone who doesn’t want it, but I’m pretty certain they could have gotten a court order for a durable medical POA and have her evaluated/hospitalized without her consent.
Yes, I believe these parents should definitely be prosecuted, but it's still hard for me to comprehend (as Dr Grande & some of the commenters here have suggested) that these parents were really sadistic or psychotic. It still seems to me like some kind of a crazy situation that got way way out of hand. You know, that they started out as overwhelmed and didn't seek out the help they needed and then became ashamed and then went into denial. But I'm no psychiatrist. I don't know if that's really possible. It's just that I can easily comprehend stories of hoarding or pet hoarding (even when it causes a lot of pain and suffering to the hoarders and others) and stuff like that, but this one is a real shocker and hard for me to comprehend. Anyway, I appreciate that your comment has some sympathy for these parents as well as Lacey.
@@irenebertoni
I appreciate your comment. Thank you. Like you, I don’t believe the parents were sadistic and purposely did this to Lacey. Mental illness of this type is VERY difficult to deal with. It’s exhausting physically and mentally. It’s quite possible the parents were just at their wits end and didn’t know what to do for her. They were caught between “not violating her rights” (you can be charged with assault for giving someone a bath without their consent- yes really!) and doing what’s best. At some point, it appears they just threw up their hands and left her to her own devices. I’ve had patients like this and it’s a very difficult line to walk. As a parent, they had a bit more responsibility to ensure she was taken care of properly. The question is “why” didn’t they seek a court order to commit her or get the durable medical POA at the very least? I just don’t get why they didn’t. It appears they didn’t even try to get outside help.
My youngest was a walking mess as a teen. I had EVERY agency in the state trying to help him. I was also battling a debilitating condition at the time so I was limited on what I could do physically, but I still sought help! It took a long time but eventually he straightened out. He’s now a well adjusted adult with a family of his own. I thank G-d that we didn’t loose him at his worst. Apparently, the “help” had some affect all. For a few years I didn’t think it would though.
Granted, his issues were not of this type but the point is, I sought help for him. That was my job as his parent.
I think that it would be possible. It sounds completely insane but I think that their brains could have started just blocking Lacey out. She was in the house but they didn't acknowledge her or the situation. @@irenebertoni
@c.swinford8283 I agree that at some point, her parents just went into some sort of denial and began to allow the situation to normalize. It's also like a learned helplessness. They couldn't mentally or emotionally deal with their daughter's issues so they ignored her to a point that it became so bad they probably relized that if they tried to get her help they'd be charged so just continued on in a state of denial because it was eaiser.
It’s hard to believe this actually happened
With all the crazy stuff going on in the world it's really not that hard to believe for me lol.
it's hard to believe that you find it hard to believe
Not if your disabled.
I can't believe it's not butter 🧈! 😶
Believe it bruh
This case is SO enraging. How could they have NOT gotten her help? I’ve never heard of such neglect. I have 3 adult children with severe autism and they need constant care. You don’t just plant them on the couch and leave them to fend for themselves! This poor, poor woman. 😡
Wow 3 children? How you must work? I couldn't do it. You must be strong I pray you stay alive and strong
My son has Autism I am sending you thoughts of love and light, bless you for keeping your beautiful Autistic's (adult) near. Enjoy the beauty of life with them theres always beauty in moments. Love from New Zealand.
It doesn't sound like her autism was severe or that she needed constant care. By the sounds of things she was fairly independent before this happened which is what is so unusual about this case. I hate to think that she developed some kind of physical condition and her parents didn't get her help.
@@angelicamichelle1646I agree. They say you are never given a cross heavier than you can carry ( in other words, a situation greater than you could handle). I know I couldn't do it; not in any way, which is probably why I wasn't given this set of problems. I received other problems. I too marvel at her strength and patience and prays she can continue to cope.
Not everyone is you.
Do you know what’s worse? I lived in that town. It is fully within the realm of possibility, because they shun and stigmatize people with disabilities down there. And with the amount of heat in the South, the horror of what happened is entirely possible. I despise that town. I left at age 19.
Umm .. exactly- you’ve left at 19. On your own.
But the parents can’t move and take their child with them to a place that would provide help treatment and nurturing?
And they had 12 years to do it!
They don’t seem impoverished or incompetent living their own lives.
People are usually ready to givd up everything to provide a better life for their children.
These folks are not ok. Which is why all the professionals involved are unanimously recognizing it as abuse
I used to be in Fire/EMS and although rare it's not as uncommon as people think to find these situations. When you do it's traumatizing and disturbing. There is no way you ever become accustomed to the smell. I rarely shudder recalling events from those days, but I do for those. It's horrible and terrifying to realize Hell on Earth is real and exists now.
You saw cases somewhat similar to this when you were in that line of work?!!
I feel like it's hard to really know the truth about Lacy's mental health condition. Growing up in a home with these two sociopaths for parents would make any child mentally compromised. To be treated with such neglect and distain by her own two parents is unfathomable. She must have felt so lonely and abandoned. Sinister.
yes, she pretty much had the same symptoms as every other person has these days.
It sounds like Lacey gave up on survival many years ago. She probably realized that her parents did not love her even a tiny bit and she didn't have the personal, separate resources to leave. Obviously, nobody checked up on her. She must have internalized her abuse and believed she didn't deserve to be loved or cared for. That would likely make a deeply depressed young person give up and settle in to the horror, hoping to never wake up again.
@jabbermocky4520 you laid that out perfectly!
She probably didn't know that she had other options. Perhaps she assumed the couch was a familiar hell that she could live with. It's so terrible.
I think it's very telling that she wasn't disabled untill high school and they chose to withdraw her from society as a teenager. Creepy af
At first, I didn’t think they’d be convicted, but seeing as how they didn’t call for help after Lacey was clearly unable to help herself (for however many years,) they then had the option to get professionals involved, but still chose not to. They made the conscious decision to allow their daughter to suffer to death. Thanks for covering this, Dr. Grande! Impeccably delivered case analysis as usual.
I agree the parents should have arranged for Lacey to be treated by professionals many many years ago.
But does just letting her sit on the couch qualify as murder?
Suppose someone in your house has a heart attack but tells you not to call a doctor. You know he definitely needs medical help, but you respect his wish. Are you guilty of murder? I don't think so.
In this case Lacey clearly was no longer capable of making sound decisions, but I suppose the parents gradually grew into the situation and somehow were unable to break out of their own paralysis. What a weird case...
@@ronald3836 In my opinion, it was the decision they made to not initially seek help, followed by their continued neglect of interest in seeking help that makes them guilty. I see your perspective, but also think their neglect of outside help equates to murder.
@@HexagonFL I think negligent homicide/involuntary manslaughter is more likely, but let's see what happens.
From what I heard at the time they made her in that state
They don't seem well mentally, and their daughter was an adult.
This was such a difficult watch, not only did they murder their daughter but they tortured her to death. Truly horrific.
This has to be one of if not the single worst thing a parent has ever done to their child. Like, in all of history.
There is plenty just as bad/worse. Chanda Vander Ark being one
My wife does in home therapy work with children and adults on the spectrum and sadly, this kind of neglect is more common than most realize. Terribly heart wrenching
I was a sped Kid, had a learning disorder, and sadly your right I knew so many that had abusive upbringings. Parents can go different phrases the denial, enabling, and some resent their children, some out right neglect their children. Some of it has with being overwhelmed, and some of it has to do with parents own expectations of their kids, are unrealistic. Every parent dreams what their kid will become, but it can be hard accepting their children as they are (regardless of their abilities)
That’s very sad to hear. Parents do need a lot more help, support, training and money when it comes to caring for disabled children. It’s incredibly difficult. Not that it excuses abuse, but it does help to explain some of it.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLife Very well said
this case absolutely horrified and baffled me !! i cannot understand how this girl did not have the brains to get up and move around, go us the toilet, get something to eat and drink ! sitting like that, long before, the deterioration of her tissue, is extremely painful ! i understand this young woman had some mental health issues and some disabilities, but her disabilities were minor ! she was not severely impaired, there is no reason why she could not get up and move: even a severely mentally/DD/ cognitively disabled person will communicate discomfort, pain, boredom, etc. and then we have her sorry excuses for parents, how dumb does anyone have to be on their end, to see their daughter had issues; again, long before the deterioration and the urine and feces.
ill never understand, even with all my medical and science background, how this girl was just sitting there going to the bathroom on herself, . both parties: both her, and her parents seem to be about as dumb as they come, a complete lack of common sense what so ever.
Your wife has seen children literally fused to couches?
I was one of the people who requested this. Thank you so much for covering this grim case. To me they sound like selfish people who couldn't be bothered taking care of a disabled child, and felt she was a burden. I can't imagine living with that smell and having that little empathy for their own daughter 😥
They should have sent her into the wilderness to be raised by wolves, or sold her to arab sea merchants. Or some sort of exciting story like that.
@garrysekelli6776
They tried, but both groups rejected the offer. 😶
Was she chained or tied to the couch?
@@rodolfoerdogan4983 are you Lacey’s parents? 😂
But could have solved that situation by calling professional help and sending her to an institution. If this was all about selfishness, the solution would have been very easy.
I’m wondering about the possibility that her parents could have started abusing her in her early teens, or at least her POS dad could have, while the mom turned a blind eye or blamed her daughter for it. That could certainly explain the rapid mental decline in her early teens.
An experience like that could destroy a persons spirit and will to live -- there are even extreme cases where a SA victim will intentionally neglect personal hygiene so their abuser will be too repulsed to assault them.
it's highly likely :(
I have this feeling/ fear also 💔
damn i didn’t think about this. this is heartbreaking
That poor woman. The worst part is that all of this was completely preventable. I understand it can be tough on parents caring for intellectually disabled children, but there are OPTIONS. If they couldn't do it by themselves, there are trained carers, support workers, psychologists, nurses, counsellors... sooo many options out there for assistance. But they just completely gave up on their own daughter. It's beyond unacceptable the amount of neglect that poor woman endured.
So the parents were going to have Lacey moved to in-patient mental health care but didn’t because she didn’t want to go ?! Wouldn’t that be one of the huge reasons she needed to go , because she wouldn’t leave the couch?? This situation is beyond comprehension.
I don’t believe that she could even speak.
Their level of apathy to Lacy’s suffering is off the scale. It’s hard for me to imagine a more horrible way of living, or dying. Thanks for covering this Dr. Grande.
Just when you think humans can’t be anymore monstrous someone ups the ante.
In the past few days its like the world has been throwing these horrific stories at me, one after the next. What a terrible fallen world we live in..
it's the algorithm. The internet works like that to keep you interested; if you watch one video like this it'll recommend others. You can turn off recommendations most likely.@@the.seagull.35
This the most disturbing case of abuse of the disabled I've ever heard. She absolutely should've been involuntarily hospitalised within the first year of refusing to leave that room. Even if they didn't want to have her committed, there's no reason she couldn't have received home care as a disabled person. If they couldn't afford it (though they apparently could) the necessary medical care would've been made available through disability insurance and state services.
The fact that they kept what was happening a secret shows that they knew what was happening and what the outcome would be, and just didn't care. It goes beyond depraved indifference, as they consciously decided they wanted her suffering to continue. It also strongly suggests they played an active role in making her so fearful in the first place, through some kind of abuse when she was younger, and they were afraid of that being discovered if Lacey received treatment. They should both spend every remaining second of their lives in prison.
This is the most disturbing story I've ever heard. How these people knowingly, deliberately, and grossly neglected their child, slowly torturing her to death, while going about their lives "normally" is truly horrifying. I hope they live painfully long and suffer greatly for what they did to that poor girl. Sick, twisted, monsters.
This case crushes me. My 24 year old son has struggled with symptoms unsettlingly similar to Lacey’s. The timing of the chronic personality changes in high school is absolutely parallel. The Covid lock-down only exasperated his isolation. The battle for a psychiatric team of caregivers has been unreasonably slow and difficult. It has taken four years to be taken seriously. We finally have a team working with my son. Medication has been very helpful. We do not know what my son’s future will hold. Clearly, my son needs enlightened intervention to gain some independence and the ability to make cognizant mental health decisions. He is very intelligent, but emotionally and socially his lack of development is in sharp relief to his intellectual abilities. What makes me so sad about this case is my own son’s kindness, sweetness and fragility. How could they not fight for Lacey? Or find people who would?
🙏
Did he ever get a brain MRI? Just curious.
wishing you peace and strength, you sound driven by love.
"Enlightened intervention" • there's the trick
I have inquired about that. His psychiatrist has only had an intake appointment with him and then went on a two week vacation. He won’t be seeing her again until late July. Do you know if MRI’s can show indications of brain conditions that extensively change a person’s personality in late adolescence?
How could 2 parents just sit there and let this happen? Somehow in their minds, they were being helpful. But how?? Their daughter literally died by sitting for 12 years, not eating enough and having all sorts of untreated physical and mental ailments. She appeared to be a beautiful young woman at one point. How, as parents, could you allow this? Thank you Dr. Grande, for sharing.
I have an awful premonition that cases like Lacey's will become much more common with the abolition of women's reproductive health care in so many "red states" . Unwanted babies will be born in huge numbers with no public resources available to keep them alive. We see a "movement" of misguided parents screeching about their "rights" to do as they please, in private, with their children. If they don't want their kids exposed to any outside freedom or autonomy, lest they get any "big ideas", Lacey's kind of tragic, slow death will become another "right" some selfish parents will feel entitled to doom their own kids to. That's a death spiral for any human civilization. Much, much worse than elective abortion in the early weeks of an unwanted pregnancy.
this case absolutely horrified and baffled me !! i cannot understand how this girl did not have the brains to get up and move around, go us the toilet, get something to eat and drink ! sitting like that, long before, the deterioration of her tissue, is extremely painful ! i understand this young woman had some mental health issues and some disabilities, but her disabilities were minor ! she was not severely impaired, there is no reason why she could not get up and move: even a severely mentally/DD/ cognitively disabled person will communicate discomfort, pain, boredom, etc. and then we have her sorry excuses for parents, how dumb does anyone have to be on their end, to see their daughter had issues; again, long before the deterioration and the urine and feces.
ill never understand, even with all my medical and science background, how this girl was just sitting there going to the bathroom on herself, . both parties: both her, and her parents seem to be about as dumb as they come, a complete lack of common sense what so ever.
They didn't care about her. Plain and simple.
@@Shannonbarnesdr1 i see all your medical and science background did not gift you with compassion, sheesh.
Compassion for what? A body empty of a mind?? Literally mindless drones
This was horrifically tragic. I cannot believe no one stepped in to help ... as in "she wasn't interested in going to a group home", but sometimes you have to make decisions for those who cannot make them soundly for themselves anymore. It's like dealing with the very elderly. Even still, surrounded by feces, just rotting away like this... it's so inhumane and horrifying. After her excruciating existence, I pray she is at peace now
Literally horrific. I find this almost impossible to comprehend.
It’s frightening to see such a beautiful, charming home on well manicured grounds with a horror show inside it. You can never judge a book by it’s cover.
Yes….the reaction of the community and “support” for the parents is equally as horrible. Nobody was there for Lacey. Nobody😢😢😢.
@@chynnadoll3277"small town" philosophy. Yet big cities are traditionally blamed for being "places of sin".
@@minniemoe4797 : Yes!! Absolutely!! There are quite a few "Twin Peaks" out there!
In some of the reporting when this case first broke, I recall hearing they had gone on a trip for several days and left her there, which initially smacked me hard, but now I realize it seems that her "care" was no different whether they were at home or not. Utterly disgusting.
I suspect her extreme anxiety was in part due to her parents being awful and unsupported and absolutely could have been helped with specialized support from autism specialists. This was so unecessary. Her parents gave up on her and threw her away, while literally walking by her while she rotted alive every single day. Insane. Those people have to be insane.
My question is how did they not smell terrible living in that house? Something is not right here beyond what we know.
This is heartbreaking! Those two killers deserve nothing less than the same fate.
Slightly worse. Once they're rotting away, but still alive, they should release some mice on them, so they can slowly eat them alive.
Ugh, I heard all about this case, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. It's truly a horrifying case of apathy and cruelty. Can't imagine the pain she went through rotting away stuck to that one spot
This is one of the most inexplicable & horrible cases I've ever heard of. The moment their daughter was sitting in human waste it became an emergency but, for years & with no attempt to get her help? It's hard to believe there wasn't some type of sadism, towards her, on their part & masochism towards themselves. It seems they all needed psychological treatment.
Exactly!
A lot of soft-hearted people who probably mean well, are giving them far too much credit with "it's hard when your child won't cooperate, maybe they're old school and truly thought that tough love was the best way"
She was not a 2 year old having a tantrum! She was a 23 year old woman (neighbors saw her outside last at 23). If a 23 year old refuses to get up off the couch even to the point of soiling themself, something is seriously wrong and it's time to get medical help!
This breaks my heart. A lot of us are traumatized just hearing about this. We all need to reach out and help our neighbors.
Poor Lacey must have suffered unimaginable pain & suffering! Such an heartbreaking story to hear! Just pure neglect… Thanks Dr Grande. Appreciated.
"The images shown to the jury were so horrific and upsetting that medics were on standby for the 12 panel members. The photos left those in the courtroom speechless. Some jurors were gasping in horror. Some were staring in disbelief."
They were both charged with 20 years.
This story is as saddening as it is horrific. To think that someone’s own parents could neglect them to this extent. They literally left their daughter to rot.
This is one of the most horrific murders I've ever heard of; bless this poor child's heart, may she rest in peace.
The description of Lacey's physical condition was so vividly awful and sorrowful to me that I could barely listen to it. These horrific child abuse and neglect cases haunt me.
I cannot comprehend where her parents' heads were while she was rotting and dying on that sofa. What the hell were they thinking.
Her parents would watch TV in the same room with her. The smell had to be horrendous. If the floor under couch was buckling it had to smell awful. How do you do that to your own child?
She wasn't a child.
Unimaginable horror. It's difficult to wrap my head around the idea that both her parents are legitimate, heartless psychopaths, but there is no other theory that would explain how they could allow this.
How sad! I can’t believe the girl had no extended family to step up and ask about her. No aunts? No uncles?! No one?! It’s beyond tragic
If they get life in prison, it will still be much more humane than the life of pain and suffering that they put their own child through. This is the first I've heard of this case, and I remember living in Baker Louisiana in the late 70's when I was just starting grade school. This is just beyond words. The agony of knowing someone went through this, just pulls at my guts.
She needed a whole lotta love, not this!
Exactly, clean clothes, a bed to sleep on with regularly washed linens, three decent meals a day plus snacks if they want to pay for them from the canteen, access to a gym or other exercise, access to worship and education, and companions to talk to. Poor Lacey probably couldn't articulate her needs, and they sadistically took advantage. My own daughter is autistic, and when I think of the pretty much normal life she's had despite it... this is one of the cruellest cases I've seen.
No, they deserve the death penalty
Unfortunately the murder charges were thrown out as of the latest update.
I just don’t understand letting that happen, not to mention the horrible stench. You don’t let someone make decisions who is obviously not capable. Thank you Dr. Grande for this video!
I don't really think it was Lacey's decision to live like this, especially when she was in terrible pain and eating the couch and feces.
She was an adult...🫤
@@TomikaKellyWho'd been sitting on a sofa for approximately 12 years...aka since childhood.
The fact that the parents lived with the stench for so long tells me they legitimately did not know how to handle the situation.
ANY defence they put forward - will be interesting.
I cant wrap my mind around this. It's just so disturbing and massively strange. Unlike ANYTHING I've ever heard.
As an RN, I’d blame them of medical neglect.
As a parent, I know how difficult it can be when your children don’t want to cooperate. As an RN, I know how difficult it is to get demented patients to cooperate. So I believe that the parents just gave up trying to help Lacey because they got tired of fighting with her. They decided that since she was an adult and making her own decisions, then she could just sit in her own mess. However, the girl was clearly not able to take care of herself, and was clearly a danger to herself, and they should have called for help and sought commitment.
I’m sure they firmly believe they are innocent and that they did not neglect their daughter. I disagree with that.
Many years ago, the hospital where I worked admitted a man with the worst bedsores I have ever seen. The guy was alert and oriented, lived on his own with a girlfriend, and as far as we knew, was able to take care of himself. But he did drink a lot, and from what we heard from the girlfriend, he wasn’t a very nice guy he got in some sort of accident that resulted in a several broken ribs so he went to the ER and was sent home with pain pills. He decided that since he was in so much pain, he was going to lay on the floor in his living room, and not move, even when his girlfriend told him, she would help him get up whatever. I figured she probably got tired of him, cussing at her and fighting with her. Anyway, he laid there on his back on the carpet long enough for his entire backside- bottom to shoulders-to wear down almost to the bone and pull the carpet fibers into the skin. Of course he developed an infection and sepsis. He was in the hospital for many, many months for wound treatment and sepsis, then a bowel obstruction requiring surgery and an ostomy. All of this completely eroded any wits and orientation he may have had. He no longer knew where or when he was, could no longer walk or take care of himself in any way, shape or form. It took at least a month for the social workers to find him a long-term care facility that would accept him with all of his problems because he had no health insurance.
So while it is possible for someone to do this to themselves, Lacey should never have been considered an independent & full-functioning adult. And the parents should have acknowledged this and done more for her, even if she didn’t like it.
I’m sorry but making excuses for these pieces of crap …. In any way….. just gross
You're the first commenter I've seen mention lack of health insurance. Louisiana's is third-world territory; getting Lacey the treatment she needed probably would have exhausted what savings her parents had, lost them their home (probably mortgaged to the hilt, it looked like a nice place on the outside), and left them with crushing medical debt. Universal Healthcare will save many lives. Doesn't excuse them for not at least keeping her clean; it's exhausting, but costs little.
Completely agree with you. As a mental health nurse I have seen so many teenage girls (usually anorexic) who totally rule their parents, who out of misplaced "love", bow to their every self-destructive behaviour. Many of them self-harm and/or threaten suicide when intervention is suggested. We don't know but I suspect this is what started this downward spiral. I am in the UK where care would be largely free to the parents but it did occur to me that in the US a case like this might have a huge financial impact on the family.
@@Shadele1969 you misunderstood me. It was their reason, maybe, but NOT an excuse. I know I would not have behaved the same way with my kids. But I have seen other parents/caregivers do so when the sick person is brought to the hospital. I can only speak to my own experiences & beliefs. I can’t tell you what those parents experience beyond what they say & what we observe as healthcare staff. And even we are limited in what we can do if a patient flat-out refuses to cooperate.
@@retriever19golden55 I agree it doesn’t excuse them. A hospital is required to help if someone comes to the ER. They could’ve asked for a social worker for help or asked the ER doctor about commitment to a psych facility. Social workers & case managers can help find all kinds of assistance or ways to spread out bill payment. Hospitals often have monthly bill payments available if asked. A lot of people don’t know to ask for this help or are too embarrassed or whatever. It’s frustrating how much we have to pay for insurance & yet still have unpayable bills, no matter how many jobs we have.
I've seen a couple of videos about this case before. So heartbreaking! As a father of two, one of which is autistic, this really disgusted me. How could they let poor Lacey waste away on a couch to the point she fused to it? Severe medical neglect is a huge understatement. This is murder and being really sh***y parents. I hope they rot in hell. Rest in peace Lacey. You're definitely in a much better place. Thank you Dr. Grande for covering this.
I agree 100%
A friend of mine once told me that not long after his birth his parents separated, and his mom fell into deep depression. They moved to his aunt's house, where his mom would eventually stay in bed permanently. My friend's aunt and uncle raised him along their own two children, but at the same time they neglected his mom and let her stay in bed all day. When my friend got his first full time job, he finally managed to move his mom into a mental health rehab center kind of institution. Up until that point, if I understand the story correctly, poor lady had spent 20-ish years in the very same room...
How was this not noticed? The smell of filth and rot must have been overpowering.
One way of covering up Lacey's condition is probably because of her mother and her side of the family. This is speculation of course. Here's the thing: Lacey's mother was the towns then vice-mayor, Lacey's aunt is one of the towns alderman's, and, her uncle (aunts husband) is the towns police chief. Thanks to her mothers political connections through herself and her side of the family, as far as covering up Lacey's condition went, the cover up would have been very easy. And while on the page of the political connections to the case, Lacey's former teacher even told the NY Post last month, Lacey's former classmates are too scared to speak up about her to the media!!!
There is no part of my brain that can comprehend this. To sit and watch your child suffer and die daily and do nothing - not even to feed or clean them-no one can understand this.
I’m amazed how Dr Grande stays neutral, professional and non-judgemental while stil conveying compassion and empathy, through his voice and demeanor. I don’t think I could watch or listen to this kind of topic if it were not for Dr Grande’s extraordinary communication skills. Thank you Dr Grande.
I saw the photo of Lacey melted into the couch and it truly scared me. I hope nobody has to go through what Lacey went through because it is truly scary being aware your slowly decaying and the people you love are just watching you is terrifying.
There's an actual photo of her corpse in the couch?! I've seen pics of the couch but never the ones with her in it! Was this on a gore site or something?
That poor young lady.
I think they were ashamed of their daughter due to her mental disorders. As if she was a stain on their image. Especially the older she got and how she may not have matured like most people her age.
As someone with ASD, I find is so insulting and infuriating how these parents often get a slap on the wrist for killing their children with neurological disorders.
I also have ASD…this is horrifying! I’m afraid to look into this case to find an update.
Why didn't the people who interacted with the parents notice the foul odor on THEM? I have been at autopsies of really decayed bodies, and even though you are dressed in biohazard suits, it gets to your skin and hair. You have to scrub in a hot shower.
Thank you for asking the first (still unaddressed by anybody else!) question that immediately sprang to my mind.
IMHO a spiral of mutual mental illness and subsequent co-dependency was set off around those 12 years before the tragic end, but at this point the information about this case TO ME seems to be too sparse to form a valid opinion!
How could the parents have been socially functioning without so many people ALLEGEDLY without noses (and consciences!) around them? Where were the neighbours??? Where were the former friends the daughter played with before vanishing? Did nobody miss her?
Is this an indication for her slowly stopping to be good and desirable company for others due to her mental illness - maybe to the point that only her parents still wanted to be with her, or cared for her presence? Mentally ill people often feel like a (real or imagined) threat to "normal" people, so the surrounding society may have been relieved or thankful when the girl was not in their midst any more... thus maybe corroborating with her parents hiding her.
If the outer premises of their house were well-kept and nothing seemed amiss, there will STILL have been the stench ingrained in every fabric and the skin of the parents (I share your experiences re autopsies, sometimes it even may require several showers and extra-strong detergent to mitigate the odour).
As the father allegedly worked for a non-profit organisation he will have been in contact with many people during all those years, and maybe exposed himself during fund-raising activities where he MUST have come in close bodily contact with other people.
I am convinced that before the parents gave up on her daughter there must have been many run-ins and altercations (like another commenter put out, especially anorectic girls can be very harrassing to their environment, which I concur with) which could have exhausted their parental affection and energy enough that they decided to go virtually "blind" against the nuissance in their life, and gradually blotted their daughter out.
TMK the human brain is very good at either fabricating "facts" that would never connect with other people's reality, and ignoring the most obvious things before the physical eyes (witness statements, example in case). We all live daily between those extremes, but only very few people are compelled to reach either end of the scale, which IMHO here may have occurred.
I would not dare to speculate how often a similar case happens of which nobody knows anything of. As I am from Germany, the case of Natascha Kampusch in neighbouring Austria is the most present in my memory, but I remember that ca. three years later a similar case from California or Florida made the headlines also. IIRC in both instances the husbands/ fathers were the respective perpetrators, and the mothers were accessories.
I confess that I do not know more about this case than was presented here by Dr. Grande, but I would be too cautious to condemn the parents so readily like the majority of the commenters seem eager to do. This case needs to be investigated a lot more thoroughly than it has been in the past months, IMHO!
The woman, was an adult, and she died TWELVE YEARS after she decided to stay put on a sofa in her parents' living space, in full sight and in walking distance from all appliances which could have eased her lot - but yet, her parents seem to have cared for her for a long time, or else she would have died A LOT EARLIER (presumably of thirst, which should occur after ca. four days)!
We simply do at this point not know what the mutual benefits were (YES - in sick minds there COULD have been something in this situation for BOTH parties!), so I would appreciate an update from Dr. Grande very much!
@@sabinegierth-waniczek4872I wonder if one or both her parents also has ASD.
In my opinion, if there was no sadism involved the parents would have fed her consistently at the very least, eating styrofoam is an extreme act of desperation. I have the same opinion of the absense of care of the painful sores and the filth. You nailed it when you said they are dangerous!
Exactly! They would have fed her, gave her sponge-baths, kept her clothed and covered, etc.
Its difficult to wrap your mind around that seemingly normal otherwise parents could neglect abd and abuse their own child in such horrific ways.
id just like to say that i really like your calm voice, it really takes the severity of this case down to a level where i feel less discusted, and can focus more on the direct facts. diffently going to check out your other videos.
Perhaps there was a crime committed against Lacey during her early adolescence. The parents used little personality anomalies to justify keeping Lacey hidden away to prevent exposure and over time the dynamic in the household devolved into madness. Lacey in any case is a victim of severe neglect, inhumane treatment, and cruelty.
Wouldn’t be surprised if it came out she had made allegations against someone that her parents didn’t want to piss off, or even against one of her parents. Nobody knew she was still in that house. People didn’t even know the couple had a kid.
Am I overreacting to this case by saying that it goes beyond the "regular" stories of malevolence, neglect and depravity? I feel sick from hearing the details and I can't even begin to imagine the degree of torment that the poor girl suffered. Could it be that it wasn't just pure malevolence that she suffered from but could it be that the girl and her parents went through a joint mental health deterioration that caused them to have such a distorted view of reality that they somehow normalised the behaviour and treatment of the daughter.
EXACTLY 😒
@annistar9693duh
I wonder how often this happens, where people literally just waste away. As Dr Grande said, if they hadn’t called 911, then it may never have been discovered.
Children disappear a lot and parents don’t want anyone to know so they can keep cashing the disability checks.
More often than you would expect. The hikikomori and the kodokushi phenomena are similar , but not as extreme cases.
My alcoholic mother spent all her time for a year either in bed or her recliner but she did use the bathroom. Dad who had retired shopped and cooked healthy meals, cleaned the apartment and and did laundry. I tried to get him to get her psychiatric help, but he said we had to wait till mom would agree. Unfortunately both drank too much. He began to exhibit symptoms of dementia so I was able to take over (I’d been living on my own then for 4 years) and have her committed. She improved a bit, but still didn’t do what her therapist recommended after her discharge as in exercise and cook for herself. I moved her into my apartment building after Dad died.
super happy to see this starting to be covered more. learnt about this case on a podcast a couple of months back and i’ve been super intrigued to find out more information.
We have done mentally ill people a disservice by making commitment seem like a betrayal. It should not be up to families to deal with the severely mentally ill, and families should not be guilted into believing it's their responsibility. Had Lacey been committed, she would have had round the clock care from people who go home at the end of their shift (meaning they are much less likely to suffer the kind of burnout that can lead to horrific neglect), and her parents could have visited as often as they liked.
Thats archaic thinking though, most institutions are transitioning to community residential programs. But yes she should have been transitioned into a community residence program where she would have her own room in a house where support workers are there around the clock.
You make a good point.
I won't pretend to understand why the parents behaved like this, but one element may well be that they felt it was wrong to have Lacy committed "against her will".
Absolutely!
Her parent did not suffer any kind of "burn out ", they didn't even try to be decent responsible (much less loving) parents. Don't give them sympathy for having a "special needs" child. They did NOTHING for their daughter, literally NOTHING .
You just blew my mind, doc. I had NO idea this happened in 2022, I thought it happened years ago! I stopped consuming all true crime content about 6 months ago because I realized it was affecting my mental health, but not your channel, you're great at covering these cases. ✌️&❤ from Tempe, AZ
That is one of the most twisted, bizarre cases you've covered. Like the Letby murderess in England, up very high in sadism and trying to answer the question "Why?"
Teen years are when some mental disorders show up.. but there is NO EXCUSE for the lack of care! 💔💔
I have a completely disabled child and my greatest fear is for her to survive me. These people are as evil as it gets.
I would suggest that you stop fearing and start planning for that possible eventuality. Disabled children can and do definitely outlive their parents.
Many years ago I knew a girl whose aunt and uncle had a falling out about someone leaving the back door of their house open. Each blamed the other partner and neither would give in, so the back door into their kitchen remained wide open, Summer and Winter up to that point, which was around 8 years. They were both highly educated professional people who held down responsible jobs, people they worked with found them charming. The rest of the family, though, seeing them behind closed (or in this case, very much OPEN) doors, found them to be a bit odd, and tended to stay away. Every now and then someone would visit and check, that, YES, the kitchen door was still wide open to the outside world, that now all sorts of wild creatures were roaming around the house and there were dead leaves piled up across the kitchen floor all the way into the hall. They still used the kitchen for mealtimes and yet never spoke a word to each other from the point of the Door debacle. Relatives had offered - and even tried - to close the door but this always caused a vicious argument - as it would be letting him/her "win". Is that narcissism? The need to never give in, to win an argument however much winning costs you? I don't know, but I wonder if poor Lacey's parents' relationship had a similar dynamic? Perhaps one of them resented the fact that the other was meant to clean up after their daughter one day, and a similar argument developed, where they forgot that they were talking about a human being and Lacey took on the status of the open door, both refusing to take care of her? It still doesn't explain how, many years earlier, as parents of a 14 year old child - whose behaviour suddenly changed so radically - they were not bringing every mental health professional they could find to the home to try and find a solution to her problems. They both deserve to be left to rot in a prison cell like they left Lacey to rot on that couch.
Very interesting reason to consider.
By the way, what happened to the door finally? Who closed it? 😁 very curious to know the end of that story
I can't remember, our friendship drifted apart when we once we had careers but I imagine one of them finally passed away and a family member finally swept up all the leaves and closed the back door. It seemed like one of those battles of will only death could resolve! 😜@@anujavenugopalan8535
My sister worked for a woman who had a small hairdressing salon converted from a room at the back of her house, the two sons of the couple who were in their late teens said that in their entire lives their parents never spoke a word to each other, rarely they would ask one of the boys to, tell this to your father. Or vica versa. Weird.
Well, that's the most horrible thing I've seen in the last month. As a caretaker, I can't imagine these parents just leaving their daughter on the couch like that. I helped take of my aunt in her final years. She gradually, but noticeably declined throughout the 2010s. First it was her motor skills, then control over certain bodily functions, ability to walk, parts of her memory, hallucinations, her ability to eat, drink, speak... She'd end up in the hospital more often with each passing year. She'd get better and be sent home, only for the cycle to repeat like accelerating clockwork. She was diabetic and had all the complications, including being in a coma and/or having heart failure multiple times. She nearly died in front of me in March 2020, just as the pandemic shut down in our town. She narrowly avoided death yet again, but this time it seemed more severe. Starting in mid-2020, her body was ravaged by heart and kidney disease, Pneumonia, Hypernatremia, Sepsis, strokes, and others. By Fall 2021, her heart and kidneys were are borderline functional levels. She was immunocompromised, which meant her getting sick was a foregone conclusion. She also weighed more than twice as much as I did, which meant getting her out of the house, let alone outside was impossible. It took the combined strength of me and my grandma just to roll her over and clean her. Unless she was carried out by medical transport, she never left her bed again. Her final 2 years - especially the final 6 months - were the stuff of nightmares. But my grandma, uncle, and I teamed up to do everything we possibly could for her. When she passed in March 2022, I accepted that it was her time, and my conscience was clear.
I don't think I've ever been so speechless in my whole life.
This story broke my heart. It’s unimaginable that any parent could allow something like this to happen.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Dr. Grande.❤
This poor lady!!! The pain she endured everyday is unimaginable and unforgettable!! These "Parents" need to be locked up for the rest of their lives. RIP Lacsy. You are out of pain and the Angles have you now honey. 🕊🕊🕊🕊
She was 36. Her parents didn't owe her anything.
@@TomikaKelly her parents killed her. Try listening to the video again.
No “normal” person could allow this to happen to another human being.
They’re 100% responsible for this and they need to be held accountable.
Get them charged, offer them no deals, put them in front of a judge and jury and learn rhe “why’s” after.
I appreciate you covering this… loosely followed this story for over a year and wondered why no one was discussing it. Thanks for bringing it to the light with your MH expertise! Prayers justice will prevail. IDK how these guys are getting out on Bail
This case is so appalling. I remember when I first read about it, I was so upset from it for days, like I couldn't get it out of mind and I wish I could. So shocking and sad.
This is so tragic i'm so glad you did a video on Lacey Dr Grande .When i heard about this a couple weeks ago i couldn't believe it& coupled with the coroners comments and the photo of the couch, unfathomable. The parents deserve punishment and poor Lacey deserves justice.
Man this was extremely hard to watch. Can’t even begin to think about this case other than disgust and depressed. Poor girl R.I.P
I can understand how these things might happen in families who come from low socioeconomic backgrounds, especially in the US where healthcare is unaffordable and inaccessible for so many people, but the Fletchers not only had wealth and access to medical care, and could easily afford to place Lacey in a care home, but Sheila worked in the justice system! Both parents were privileged and had a good reputation in the community. Just my opinion based on more in-depth interviews, I think the Fletchers were embarrassed about having a 'disabled' daughter at home and convinced themselves that Lacey was absolutely fine, and as an adult she could look after herself. They became psychologically numb to the situation.
even if the parents were dirt poor with no insurance if a person in the condition Lacey was in was brought in or an ambulance was called in they would NOT be denied medical attention and would be admitted and treated. Something could have been done years and years before she died. This whole thing on the parents side of it is absolute B.S. You do NOT let a person rot and fester on your sofa while wallowing in their own assorted bodily fluids.
@arlaabrell8658 ExactIy right. No one in need of immediate medical care can be turned away based on ability to pay. Period. There is no excuse except Sheila was an Alderman and they were known and thought well of in society and having a daughter who mentally deteriorated wasn't in their plans.
They had just come home from a weekend NYE trip when they found her in that state and I saw on another video that one of the neighbors saw in the window Lacey sitting & not moving and said if they didnt call the authorities, the neighbor would. So idk if they wanted to, I think they would have just gotten rid of their dirty little secret had someone not seen her in a window. Maybe the neighbor who asked the dad one day and he said she was still there and changed the subject ? Idk for sure.
How else could they possibly think it would end with no one knowing or being upset ?
I'm a disabled RN and have been a patient many times here in the US. I have never been turned away based on ability to pay, it's against the law in any emergency facility. And there is public funding and so on for mental health. But no one would have turned her away in any circumstances, not for mental health or physical reasons. I wish they would have even put her in a home of some sort, if they couldn't be bothered with caring for her. With their connections, they could have arranged for her to be quietly transferred to a facility in another state if they wanted to keep it under public scrutiny.
There's no excuse that even remotely explains this except her parents are awfuI.
I think you are right. They had no intent to harm her. It appears they took what they saw as the path of least resistance. It didn’t work out well for any of them. Were they culpable? Not of murder. Maybe of wrong think. Would committing Lacey to the care of a state mental system have really been so different? She still might have developed bed sores and died of sepsis. Obviously they were in way over their abilities. Ignorance? Yes. Murder? No.
The most horrific thing I've heard. This poor woman. There is not enough punishment in the world for these parents
As a former CPS worker. My only reason why they didn’t place Lacey is because the parents were receiving a social security disability for Lacey. That’s usually the only reason they keep a special needs child and abuse them.
This was awful 😢, we had a similar horrific crime here in South Australia. Annie Smith, left tied to a cane chair for year's 😢by her carer. She was even robbed over the year's. Absolutely heartbreaking Dr Grande as this middle aged lady had cerebral palsy and up until her parent's passed, had a life of joy and happiness. Really gets to me how so called human beings can treat people in such way's 😢
Thank you again dear Dr 🙏🥰🇭🇲
I just looked up that story. It seems that her brother and uncle trusted the caregiver and agency to look after Annie and never checked up on her regularly. Let this be a cautionary tale to everyone who has disabled children or siblings. It is vitally important for legal guardians - be they family or otherwise - to do in-person checks every couple of months at minimum. Never take anyone's word for "everything's fine". For folks contemplating wardship for disabled children after the parents' death, it's crucial to choose a guardian whom you can trust to be diligent.
I remember when this happened and was on the news. These parents seem very much like how my whole family has been to me especially my mother.
These parents and narcissistic psychopathic families are the worst.
I've been watching your channel since before you even had 75 thousand subscribers and I love that you have kept your channel how you started it instead of letting it get to your head. I appreciate the Hell outta you!!