PART TWO: Twitter trying to say MORE things at the same time

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  • čas přidán 14. 11. 2022
  • I typically try to steer clear of making sequels for fears you'll all think I'm being a lazunt.

Komentáře • 3,4K

  • @ConnorPugs
    @ConnorPugs Před rokem +12783

    If someone yelled at me that they’d “wipe my ass” I actually think I’d be more intimidated

  • @RattMetal
    @RattMetal Před rokem +9957

    Imagining a teacher just yelling “GOOD GOD!” At a student unprovoked is so hilarious

    • @The_True_Mx_Pink
      @The_True_Mx_Pink Před rokem +335

      I can't think of a reply to make this funnier so pretend I did.

    • @kaw57_
      @kaw57_ Před rokem +286

      @@The_True_Mx_Pink then just,,,, dont reply??

    • @The_True_Mx_Pink
      @The_True_Mx_Pink Před rokem +428

      @@kaw57_ No.

    • @Spongyboi897
      @Spongyboi897 Před rokem +225

      *"can i get squeezed"*

    • @fellowscales458
      @fellowscales458 Před rokem +95

      @@Spongyboi897 imagine you say this to your crush and she takes you upstairs
      That'd be like a dream,infact it can only be a dream

  • @thatratremi
    @thatratremi Před rokem +1971

    Once at my waitering job I tried to say “Bon appetit” and “Here you go” while giving a family their food. Ended up saying “Hepatitis.”

    • @kazzeristic
      @kazzeristic Před rokem +77

      BRO IM DEAD

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 Před rokem +89

      Yum yum hepatitis

    • @justlessie
      @justlessie Před rokem +43

      I'm literally crying right now 😹

    • @TAKTlmao
      @TAKTlmao Před rokem

      Ahahahdbrj ktkp8zru,dIrXt9CogxGx) hpChoCy9X9 cy9Cy9"}¤😂😂😂😂😂

    • @K4113B4113
      @K4113B4113 Před rokem +23

      tears in my eyes🤣

  • @eternitybreeze6350
    @eternitybreeze6350 Před rokem +1147

    Once I tried to say ‘all good’ and ‘okay’ to my mother at the same time, ended up saying ‘all gay’. She smiled and thanked me for describing our family.

  • @JovanLemon
    @JovanLemon Před rokem +2258

    Imagine you're interviewing someone and they say "Pleasure to beat you"
    Now it depends on your personality but that's either an instant hire or an instant denial

    • @heather2503
      @heather2503 Před rokem +247

      Depends on the job

    • @JovanLemon
      @JovanLemon Před rokem +27

      @@heather2503 yeah

    • @exotic1405
      @exotic1405 Před rokem +87

      @@heather2503 now that, is a certified hee hee haw haw moment

    • @robinrehlinghaus1944
      @robinrehlinghaus1944 Před rokem +17

      @@exotic1405 Herh-hurh!

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ Před rokem +112

      Well, it can also be taken as a challenge. They're not here to mess around. There here to fight the final boss.

  • @curllum
    @curllum Před rokem +3709

    Most of these just end up being more intimidating than what was intended, like, if I was walking past someone and said excuse me and they replied “no” I would be intimidated immediately

  • @Ronnie-qi8ij
    @Ronnie-qi8ij Před rokem +519

    Was trying to tell a girl named Rebecca that she left behind her water bottle. I WANTED to say,” Rebecca, your water bottle!” but I couldn’t form the words and was panicking because she was walking away and I yelled, “Rebotabottle!” and everyone looked so confused 💀

    • @ItsLucy_GD
      @ItsLucy_GD Před rokem +110

      Rebotabottle sounds like the name for a Pokemon

    • @ElolzEditzYT
      @ElolzEditzYT Před 9 měsíci +8

      Yeah

    • @ddeonusgirl
      @ddeonusgirl Před 9 měsíci +11

      IM DYING-💀

    • @marga8732
      @marga8732 Před 9 měsíci +27

      Note to self: do NOT, under ANY circumstances, read through the comments section of this video while eating! 🤣God, I almost _choked!_

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@ItsLucy_GDIT DOESSSSSSSSS

  • @nethertaxi3719
    @nethertaxi3719 Před rokem +547

    one time i tried saying "i want to go home" and "man i'm tired" but ended up screaming "I WANT A MAN" at my friend while passing them in the school hallway... i had to wait two hours before i could explain myself 💀

    • @mushroomy9899
      @mushroomy9899 Před rokem +89

      I did something similar, I once p, completely out of context in the hallway said: “men are _really_ great at that” luckily we are both gay.

    • @5040.
      @5040. Před 9 měsíci +16

      SKULL EMOJI

    • @goofy-ahh101.
      @goofy-ahh101. Před 9 měsíci +4

      I’m you’re 201st. Like!

    • @olivercharles2930
      @olivercharles2930 Před 7 měsíci

      Too late, you're a homosexual now.

    • @marga8732
      @marga8732 Před 7 měsíci +4

      You and me both!

  • @kriswithak2986
    @kriswithak2986 Před rokem +2610

    I once hit someone with my swinging lunchbox and i tried to say 'sorry' and 'oops' at the same time and then ended up shouting at some random student, 'SOUP'

  • @doriandaykin2747
    @doriandaykin2747 Před rokem +3650

    I know this isn't the game but I'll never forget the time a waitress asked "any allergens?" And I said "no thanks"

    • @flingyourself
      @flingyourself Před rokem +235

      I wish I could say that

    • @lucinda_null
      @lucinda_null Před rokem +74

      I did something really similar a couple years ago

    • @meridaskywalker7816
      @meridaskywalker7816 Před rokem +277

      I used to be that one kid who's always late for school, and once when entering the school library, instead of 'Good morning" I habitually said "Sorry, I'm late".

    • @BobbyThompsonJunior
      @BobbyThompsonJunior Před rokem +95

      Technically it still makes sense because you're saying no but thanks for asking

    • @bluepixelsxo
      @bluepixelsxo Před rokem +10

      Lmfao

  • @tristandaries1129
    @tristandaries1129 Před rokem +427

    Once, after I grew my hair out, my sister wanted to say “So how’s the long hair life going?”, but ended up somehow getting all the words correct, but the order wrong, and she tried like 5 times to say it correctly without breaking, so it came out as “How go hair long the life going the long hair going treat the long hair” etc for about a minute

    • @maxkiger9692
      @maxkiger9692 Před rokem +61

      Big 'why do they call it oven' energy

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Před 11 měsíci +21

      Please tell me you responded “irl r/ihadastroke

    • @FewVidsJustComments
      @FewVidsJustComments Před 11 měsíci +11

      Something like this has undoubtedly happened to me, I just can’t quite remember what with

    • @katnotkit
      @katnotkit Před 9 měsíci +15

      same energy as the "give me eat orange me eat orange" monkey video

    • @catiguess1807
      @catiguess1807 Před 4 měsíci +5

      YOURE IN A VIDEO

  • @BluepurplecatGacha
    @BluepurplecatGacha Před rokem +147

    One time, my mum tried to say “sweet pea” and “sweetness” at the same time. She ended up calling me “sweet penis” 😂

    • @fionamclary7631
      @fionamclary7631 Před 6 měsíci +23

      Reminds me of the time when I was around 12-13 that my mom wished me "good night, poopy!" I think she was trying to say "peep," one of my family nicknames, but it somehow got horribly mangled.

    • @finleysgaming4076
      @finleysgaming4076 Před 6 měsíci

      Sweet penis 💀💀

    • @jacoballwright3254
      @jacoballwright3254 Před 5 měsíci +13

      That’s a good one. LMAO

    • @xSpxce_Odd1tyx
      @xSpxce_Odd1tyx Před 5 měsíci

      LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @GeisemoOUTATIME
    @GeisemoOUTATIME Před rokem +2295

    imagine driving with a friend and suddenly he just screams ''QUACK'' 💀

    • @sams_enfp
      @sams_enfp Před rokem +96

      careful, there is a scammer here
      also SK-HULL EMOJIIIIIIIIIII

    • @filename2195
      @filename2195 Před rokem +45

      Soap

    • @Void_da_proxy
      @Void_da_proxy Před rokem +14

      That cracked me up so hard ngl

    • @froge3609
      @froge3609 Před rokem +17

      @@filename2195 *s o a p*

    • @ImDarkran
      @ImDarkran Před rokem +12

      @@filename2195 *S o a p .*

  • @sereapple
    @sereapple Před rokem +3847

    The "I'm Paul" one honestly gave me the best chuckle I've had in a while. These videos get better and better by the batch.

  • @Ash_Carnelian
    @Ash_Carnelian Před rokem +211

    I once had my brain shut down while trying to ask my grandpa to pick up some kettlecorn popcorn from the store. I ended up asking "Can you get some kettlepop cop porn?" And now I hate everything 💀

    • @TheAndi073
      @TheAndi073 Před rokem +17

      Did you get what you asked for though? ^^

    • @Ash_Carnelian
      @Ash_Carnelian Před rokem +32

      @@TheAndi073 Yes. But it tasted like regret.

    • @TheAndi073
      @TheAndi073 Před rokem +13

      @@Ash_Carnelian Ah, the best flavour

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Před 7 měsíci +9

      Grandpa: Kettlepop What?

    • @NickKPurple
      @NickKPurple Před měsícem

      Kettlepop cop ⬛️🟧​@@michaelhorton8489

  • @endgamerplays
    @endgamerplays Před rokem +125

    3:12 imagine your friend is comforting you over video chat and they suddenly say “I’m so hard” with no context 💀

    • @mushroomy9899
      @mushroomy9899 Před rokem +24

      “Aww honey it’s alright, you’ll be okay, I’m here for you, I’m so hard”

  • @holopearl1829
    @holopearl1829 Před rokem +3204

    Back when I was a girl scout, I had been doing hours long cookie sales. This was when I'd read to my parents before bed bc I love reading. I came out of my room to ask if they were ready for storytime, and I deadpan asked my parents if they wanted to buy some girl scout cookies
    Edit: My mom bought us some thin mints to split earlier that day

  • @cavemanguy3625
    @cavemanguy3625 Před rokem +1585

    I literally once tried to say to a person who was helping me pick up some stuff “Thanks man” and “I appreciate it” and it came out as “I appreciate men.”

    • @Azerty13_
      @Azerty13_ Před rokem +176

      We love a person who appreciates men

    • @skyhideaway
      @skyhideaway Před rokem +79

      as you should

    • @Lyoko2516
      @Lyoko2516 Před rokem +119

      I ended up trying to say "Come on in" and "have a nice day" at the same time and it came out as "Have a coming in day." 💀

    • @SuperSimpForTheStars
      @SuperSimpForTheStars Před 11 měsíci +17

      me fr

    • @werul
      @werul Před 10 měsíci +7

      Same.

  • @vintagegirl31
    @vintagegirl31 Před 11 měsíci +85

    Still remember the time when I was trying to explain something to my daughter and her friend but I kept stuttering and stumbling over my words. I tried to say "My tongue isn't working" and "I'm tripping over my words" at the same time and what actually came out was "My tongue is twerking." I've never seen two teens drop the the ground in a fit of laughter so fast.

  • @thegrouchization
    @thegrouchization Před rokem +81

    Here's one that's actually permanently altered my vocabulary: When I was leaving from a visit to my mum, she meant to say either "Goodbye" or "Love you", but it came out as "Good love!". Ever since then, that's been our go-to phrase for bidding each other farewell.

  • @maieen2665
    @maieen2665 Před rokem +1390

    The dreaded “Are You F*cking Sorry” phenomenon.
    Once I was trying on bras with my mom, and instead of saying “negativity,” I said “negatitity”. We laughed for a good five minutes.

    • @Ilikegeesee
      @Ilikegeesee Před rokem +67

      This comment made me laugh for a good 5 minutes

    • @marevoid5720
      @marevoid5720 Před rokem +94

      in my head, i often think of words that end in 'ity' and replace them with titty
      for example communitity

    • @dead-ringer
      @dead-ringer Před rokem +55

      I don’t know why but I expected it to say something along the lines of ‘mega-titty’

    • @lukasmarks6504
      @lukasmarks6504 Před rokem +24

      @@marevoid5720 Another fun thing is pronouncing -les endings of a word like in "Hercules". You'll never think of testicles the same again :D

    • @CoingamerFL
      @CoingamerFL Před rokem +8

      negatititititititititititititity

  • @TheWookWife
    @TheWookWife Před rokem +716

    One time I was trying to say both "My mother gave birth to me" and "When I was Born" at the same time, and it ended up as "When I gave birth to my mother"

  • @sarah44_equ
    @sarah44_equ Před rokem +94

    Yesterday I was at the mall and accidentally took someone's bag instead of mine and they were like "oh it happens it's ok" and I tried to both laugh and say "yeah sorry" at the same time and it came out with a wheezing "yhooos"

    • @user-cb8vu2hr6g
      @user-cb8vu2hr6g Před 11 měsíci +11

      why do I feel like yhooos should and probably will become a part of my everyday vocabulary

    • @ChaosCorrupt3d
      @ChaosCorrupt3d Před 9 měsíci +5

      I’m gonna wheeze at this for the next few hours hold up-

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Před 4 měsíci

      yhhhhhoos (how to pronounce)

    • @HawkTheDarllingg
      @HawkTheDarllingg Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@TheOne_6YEH-hhehhhOOOOs

  • @OrangetheMartian
    @OrangetheMartian Před 7 měsíci +20

    Tried saying “No worries” and “Sorry”, came out as “Noory scurries”. I have no idea what I had said until they questioned me. 😂😂

  • @KatieT97
    @KatieT97 Před rokem +418

    Today at work I tried telling a customer “sorry we’re out of spicy” and “do you want any sauces” but I said “sorry want some saucy?”

    • @-TheOnlyTalentedScreech-
      @-TheOnlyTalentedScreech- Před rokem +30

      “YEAH BOY WANNA GET REAL SAUCY IN HERE? 😏😏”
      IM CRYING 😂😂

    • @stars_acc
      @stars_acc Před rokem +23

      "sorry, we're out of *spicy* today"

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Před 4 měsíci

      no thanks i don't want any saucy

  • @seradunlap775
    @seradunlap775 Před rokem +684

    While exchanging my spoon for a fork at dinner, my mother asked why. I tried to say "I eat my eggs with a spoon" and "getting a fork" and ended up telling her, with a smile on my face, "I eat my forks"

    • @chirone_
      @chirone_ Před rokem +55

      but what do the forks taste like?

    • @TAKTlmao
      @TAKTlmao Před rokem +60

      ​@@chirone_ metal

    • @jackiele8311
      @jackiele8311 Před 11 měsíci +16

      @TAKTImao mmmm I sure do love metal

    • @chirone_
      @chirone_ Před 11 měsíci +11

      @@TAKTlmao mmmmmm tasty

    • @mr.lampshade
      @mr.lampshade Před 9 měsíci +19

      I just said that out loud in an innocent voice. I can't fucking breathe anymore

  • @ethanschannel
    @ethanschannel Před 9 měsíci +23

    One time while eating dinner with my family, my mother wanted to ask me whether or not I want to eat with a chopstick. However, the words became jumbled and instead came out as *"Eat the chopstick."*

  • @theDMassistant
    @theDMassistant Před 9 měsíci +31

    During a game of D&D, one player was describing his character. He wanted to say "they were raised by snakes" and "they were raised by pythons" at the same time and just said "they were raised by bikes".

  • @rowynsabree1726
    @rowynsabree1726 Před rokem +1638

    one time i was telling a person about when i got my ears pierced at a tattoo shop with a needle when i was like 8 and i tried to say “ i bawled my eyes out” and “i cried” and i almost said “i cried my balls out” 😭😭

  • @dotdotdot...176
    @dotdotdot...176 Před rokem +2502

    *"it's a B A N O O N"* took me out💀
    Just imagining some random yelling that in a public space and everyone else having zero context is just fricking hilarious. I like to think they said it exactly how Matt said it too, makes it even funnier somehow 💀

    • @arichartley8211
      @arichartley8211 Před rokem +120

      B A N O O N is probably one of the top funniest out-of-context words in history

    • @overdinky420
      @overdinky420 Před rokem +44

      This is why i crack up on all of these videos imagining people saying all these out of context things

    • @worldwartrisha3404
      @worldwartrisha3404 Před rokem +19

      that comment actually came from my friend lol

    • @Closemusic16
      @Closemusic16 Před rokem +31

      @@worldwartrisha3404 were you the one with the banoon

    • @poison.healer
      @poison.healer Před rokem +23

      @@worldwartrisha3404 were you the owner of the sacred B A N O O N

  • @sketchymoray
    @sketchymoray Před rokem +18

    I once told my mom "my stiff is as back as a board" and we both had a "wait, what??" moment

  • @mrmrwayne9850
    @mrmrwayne9850 Před rokem +36

    One time I was handing a book to a classmate and I tried to say “Here you go” and “Excuse me” and ending up telling my friend “Hersheys?” 💀

  • @j_cannot_type
    @j_cannot_type Před rokem +492

    one time i tried to say 'im a speedy boy' and 'im fast’ at the same time, it came out as 'im a feast' 💀

  • @jaimecarter3988
    @jaimecarter3988 Před rokem +631

    this morning at work I was trying to explain to a girl where to find a certain book. between “the P section is very large” and “there’s a lot of books in the P section” I said,,, “there’s a lot of pee” while staring at her intensely

  • @rai-tube34youtube
    @rai-tube34youtube Před rokem +98

    2:52 Pafawafalacancake sounded like a Pokémon name.

    • @grayanddevpdx
      @grayanddevpdx Před rokem +1

      Also, why would you have to scream waffles or pancakes?

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 Před rokem +6

      I dunno, I think it sounds more like a Dragonball Z attack.

    • @rai-tube34youtube
      @rai-tube34youtube Před rokem

      @@oddcrafter1270 Yeah, but i don't watch a lot of anime.

    • @rai-tube34youtube
      @rai-tube34youtube Před rokem

      @@oddcrafter1270 Also, that comment was made 5 months ago.

    • @-_me_-531
      @-_me_-531 Před 9 měsíci +3

      *my.brain.exe has stopped working
      Reason: died from laughter*

  • @Gore-Out-Starz
    @Gore-Out-Starz Před rokem +23

    Not to long ago my mom asked me if her outfit for a fancy dinner looked ok and I tried to say “ it looks great” and “ it looks ok” looked her dead in the eye and said “ it looks gay” 💀

  • @awwwphooey
    @awwwphooey Před rokem +667

    like last week this guy threw his locker door into me and after realizing his mistake, muttered “oh, my bad”.
    me, debating on whether saying “you’re good” or “you’re okay” i stared this poor man dead in the eye and proclaimed: “you’re gay.”

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Před rokem +162

      “Oh! My bad”
      “You’re gay”
      “What?”

    • @elias69420
      @elias69420 Před rokem +85

      The gay ones are the funniest 😭😭😭

    • @myarmsrgone
      @myarmsrgone Před 11 měsíci +147

      Being gay isn't your choice. It's mine, you're gay now

    • @naan000
      @naan000 Před 10 měsíci +32

      "I know what you are"

    • @mr.lampshade
      @mr.lampshade Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@myarmsrgoneSJSUGWRW5GSBWH2UW9ISDHBEGQHAHAJJAAHHAHAGAHSHS6SHSISJSJYSSHHSNAHSJSHAGAHHAGABSHGZAHGSHSHA O CANT BREtHEEEEEEE

  • @MarbleSodaPop
    @MarbleSodaPop Před rokem +580

    I once tried to say "scoot over" and move over an inch" at the same time and accidentally said "move over a skinch" and now my family regularly uses skinch as a word meaning a little bit

    • @masoncrowley2777
      @masoncrowley2777 Před rokem +10

      I like that

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 Před rokem +25

      Sounds like your average american measurement

    • @beautifulprincessoftheworld
      @beautifulprincessoftheworld Před rokem +13

      honestly it sounds like a good describing word

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 Před rokem +4

      @ChocolateIcecreamHater they did

    • @noth9617
      @noth9617 Před rokem +1

      It’s literally a word that means just that. 😂It makes sense because it is a real word. How many people who know English have you told this story to and they’ve just stared at you like “are you taking the piss?” But have just politely smiled and nodded?😅

  • @exquisitetoast3859
    @exquisitetoast3859 Před rokem +27

    So one time I accidentally bumped into someone named Avery, they said I'm sorry, to which I attempted to respond "I'm sorry" and "my fault entirely" and somehow said "soon Avery" and continued walking

  • @betafurret1503
    @betafurret1503 Před rokem +21

    One time my show choir director was trying to say “you sit” and “you watch the show” at the same time and ended up saying to a room full of immature high school students: “you shit”

  • @areyouawormonastring
    @areyouawormonastring Před rokem +521

    One time I tried to tell my overexcited dog "no biting" but I just ended up whispering "no homo" to her. She proceeded to very purposefully scratch my foot

  • @topicvideosguy
    @topicvideosguy Před rokem +1106

    I was waiting tables at one of my old jobs and tried saying "enjoy your food" and "enjoy your meal" at the same time. I ended up saying "Enjoy your mood. Enjoy your... feel... uhhh... enjoyyourfood" before walking away embarrassed.

    • @billpotts4670
      @billpotts4670 Před rokem +154

      enjoy your feel... *winks and struts away*

    • @podokonnik1796
      @podokonnik1796 Před rokem +32

      it kinda sounds like a song lyric if you think about it

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Před rokem +16

      I thought it was gonna be “Enjoy your feel!” Lol

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 Před rokem +20

      The fact that both words are synonymous makes this even better

    • @suffering9481
      @suffering9481 Před rokem +4

      Imagine if they were really depressed, and you told them to enjoy their mood lmao

  • @heartofthewild680
    @heartofthewild680 Před rokem +20

    I once tried to say “happy birthday” and “have a good night” at the same time, and what came out of my mouth was “happy good bird.” (It’s been two years and I still get teased for it)

  • @JennRighter
    @JennRighter Před rokem +23

    One time when I was walking through my crowded work cafeteria I meant to say “it smells like burnt popcorn in here” but instead I said, loudly, “it smells like burnt cop porn in here!” I swear everyone got quiet.

  • @Art__E
    @Art__E Před rokem +1638

    One time I was buying some snacks from a dollar store that I went to frequently.
    They always asked me about some program and if I wanted to donate so I expected them to ask about it again.
    Here’s what happened.
    Cashier: “alright your good to go, have a nice day!😊”
    Me: “Oh… No thank you”
    *Proceeds to walk out of store*

    • @Rauvi
      @Rauvi Před rokem +328

      “Have a good day!”
      “No.”

    • @seedless5745
      @seedless5745 Před rokem +9

      @@Rauvi 😂

    • @deadturret4049
      @deadturret4049 Před rokem +165

      Takes "dont threaten me with a good time" to a new level

    • @grmpf
      @grmpf Před rokem +173

      My mum did something similar once. At the store where we would usually do our grocery shopping, at the end, the cashier would always hold up the receipt and ask, "Do you want the receipt?", and my mum would almost always answer, "Don't need that, thank you!"
      This one time, it was a different cashier or some new store policy had changed the script or whatever, but now, it suddenly went like this:
      Cashier (holding up receipt): Have a nice day!
      My mum (cheerful tone): Don't need that, thank you!

    • @Art__E
      @Art__E Před rokem +37

      @@grmpf curse memory habits

  • @Yip_E_
    @Yip_E_ Před rokem +594

    I was once teaching my cousin how to play Minecraft, I made a little arena full of Vindicators for her. I was going to say "Careful, they'll swing their axe at you." I instead said "Careful, they'll swing their ass at you."

    • @galaxybolt1748
      @galaxybolt1748 Před rokem +101

      Well what if they do, how do i defend?

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ Před rokem +129

      @@galaxybolt1748 Report them for sexually explicit content and get them banned from the game, of course

    • @AccSwtch50
      @AccSwtch50 Před rokem +21

      @@StuffandThings_ What if they use NCR (No chat reports)?

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ Před rokem

      @@AccSwtch50 Then its time to bring out the big guns and slap dat ass with your weapon of choice

    • @ashhunter9958
      @ashhunter9958 Před rokem +1

      @@AccSwtch50 idk just gtfo. (frick since im almost 13)

  • @sevgiulker3203
    @sevgiulker3203 Před 10 měsíci +20

    I was once giving my underclassmen how they did not need to make a relationship to be cool and ended up saying "fuck julio and romette"

    • @thelearningmethod
      @thelearningmethod Před 6 měsíci +5

      Julio and Romette: the play that needs to exist 😂😂😂

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Před 4 měsíci +1

      did cuki shoot tghen in the heart? to make loive/.

  • @PrincessJediCupcakes
    @PrincessJediCupcakes Před rokem +12

    When my mom was in college, studying to be a journalist, one of her peers tried to say “fasten your seatbelt” and “buckle up” at the same time, and it came out as “fuckle up”.

  • @lucinda_null
    @lucinda_null Před rokem +722

    Today I was talking to friends about religion and tried to say “I used to be Catholic but now I’m non-denominational” and accidentally said “I used to be Catholic but now I’m Catholic”

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 Před rokem +207

      "They won't let me leave!"

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 Před rokem +125

      That sounds like being Catholic, but with extra steps.

    • @Iliadic
      @Iliadic Před rokem +57

      It's hotel california

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 Před rokem +74

      "I used to be catholic. I still am"

    • @PhoenixT70
      @PhoenixT70 Před rokem +52

      - People in Europe after a major war, circa 1100 CE.

  • @HangryOnPaws
    @HangryOnPaws Před rokem +234

    On my first day of work I tried to say "I'm sorry" and "hey no problem, Amy" it came out as "I'm a problem, Amy..."

    • @jonathangoodwin5609
      @jonathangoodwin5609 Před rokem +38

      What did Amy say to that?

    • @HangryOnPaws
      @HangryOnPaws Před rokem +55

      @@jonathangoodwin5609 she just kinda gave me a confused look and walked away. I explained it later and we laughed about it.

    • @coollittlebinch4689
      @coollittlebinch4689 Před rokem +42

      At least u said it after you got hired, unlike that poor dude...
      "PLEASEURE TO BEAT U"

    • @ChiasmMarksTheSpot
      @ChiasmMarksTheSpot Před rokem +4

      This is a great one

    • @Amexy-mr6lw
      @Amexy-mr6lw Před 11 měsíci +1

      Relatable lmaao

  • @anishadaley6662
    @anishadaley6662 Před rokem +21

    Oh, another story - my friend and I were walking to our next class when two boys passed us. We heard one very enthusiastically yell, “I’m going to slurp up Adam’s arm in physics!!”
    We both took a couple seconds to process that before I asked… “did you hear that??” It still makes us laugh whenever we bring it up lol

    • @ItsLucy_GD
      @ItsLucy_GD Před rokem +3

      Poor dude probably wanted to end his own existence after realizing what he said

    • @FewVidsJustComments
      @FewVidsJustComments Před 10 měsíci +3

      What did he mean to say?

  • @cheeplethebulldog1420
    @cheeplethebulldog1420 Před 11 měsíci +8

    I got my words mixed up once and said at my graduation ceremony out of pure excitement. I thought of saying “this is the greatest day of my life” but then someone bumped into me, so “excuse me” passed into my mind.
    The result? “This is the greatest excuse of me.”

  • @vanadeu
    @vanadeu Před rokem +1129

    Earlier today someone apologized for taking a while to take a seat, I attempted to say "it's alright" and "no worries" at the same time. I said "it's all worries."

  • @PajamaCat4
    @PajamaCat4 Před rokem +125

    saying "are you okay" and "are you done" at the same time and saying "are you donkeh" like Shrek

  • @Fynchfire
    @Fynchfire Před 10 měsíci +14

    Going with the theme of this video, my sister once wanted to say Pepper (the name of one of my pet rats) likes to be lazy but, she was thinking of something being boiled so she said "Pepper likes to be boiled" and I was like "EXcUSe Me?"

  • @legitlyspelunking
    @legitlyspelunking Před rokem +15

    Working as a (female) fitness trainer, my brain couldn't decide between saying "take a break" and "take a rest" so what came out of my mouth was "take a breast". Not sure if it was better or worse that the client I was training was my older brother... 💀

    • @arpangupta69420
      @arpangupta69420 Před 6 měsíci +1

      It depends

    • @thebutterscotchkid2481
      @thebutterscotchkid2481 Před 4 měsíci

      You know, someone else the comment section did the exact same thing. Something about them in Spanish class-
      What a coincidence.

  • @bluemoon4891
    @bluemoon4891 Před rokem +742

    when I was a bit younger, I remember that I tried to tell my sisters something about me waking up fast that morning. I tried to say the word “eyeballs” in the sentence but ended up saying “i bonked my balls open” my sisters and I almost died from laughing.

  • @dead-ringer
    @dead-ringer Před rokem +931

    I remember I was leaving a funeral and I remember one of my relatives, who was in tears by the way, said “I love you.” I tried to say, “I love you too.” It came out as “Yoo-Hoo!”
    I yelled ‘yoo-hoo’ at my crying grandmother, at my uncle’s funeral, and the only part of the after math I can remember was the entire church turning to look at me.
    I don’t think I’ll ever quite live that down, I swear to god, when I die and my life flashes before my eyes, if I grimace, you’ll know why.

    • @zdmacstudios
      @zdmacstudios Před rokem +38

      💀

    • @maximodubs4189
      @maximodubs4189 Před rokem +21

      Yuhu

    • @St0rmcloudy
      @St0rmcloudy Před rokem +21

      Yoo-hoo!

    • @beautifulprincessoftheworld
      @beautifulprincessoftheworld Před rokem +118

      dont worry- at my great aunts funeral there was a singing portion and it was so bad that I made a little snicker after trying to keep it in, and it echoed. It was so embarrassing

    • @dead-ringer
      @dead-ringer Před rokem +46

      @@beautifulprincessoftheworld oh my god you poor thing, that’s even worse

  • @ACE234G5I6
    @ACE234G5I6 Před rokem +54

    3:00 malfunctioning furbie

  • @VeryAfraid
    @VeryAfraid Před rokem +14

    I was worried I was being a burden on my friends when we were looking for this cat tower someone left outside(so I could upcycle it) and I couldn't decide on 'sorry for the wild goose chase' and ' sorry for making yall run around like headless chickens'
    Which somehow translated to
    'Sorry for the chicken cheeks'

    • @RestlessHarp
      @RestlessHarp Před 10 měsíci +1

      That was not what I was expecting! 😅😂🤣

  • @ladyloldemort
    @ladyloldemort Před rokem +219

    ah this brings back the memory of when a coworker tried to say "can you hold" and "can i put you on hold" at the same time and ended up asking the customer CAN I HOLD YOU

    • @hodgeelmwood8677
      @hodgeelmwood8677 Před rokem +34

      I had a co-worker who once answered the phone with the dept name and then said "Can you help me?" instead of "Can I help you?"

    • @PirateLeota
      @PirateLeota Před rokem +9

      @@hodgeelmwood8677 🤣🤣🤣

  • @SkookieCat_Arts
    @SkookieCat_Arts Před rokem +712

    I once accidentally punched my sister in the face cause she scared me, ended up yelling “are you sorry!?” I felt really weird for a split second until she yelled back “NO!” Then we both just laughed it off

  • @country.germany
    @country.germany Před rokem +11

    Once i tried to say "I'm sorry" and " You'll be okay" at the same time when my friend was sad. I blurted out " *ARE YOU SORRY?* " they backed away slowly and then ran home

  • @Aleksaasha
    @Aleksaasha Před rokem +8

    I was at the store once and the cashier who also happens to be a friend of mine asked me how I was doing and I tried to say "I'm doing good today." and "I'm good, you?" at the same time and loudly said with upmost confidance "I'm doing YOU today." in front of several other custormers and her co-workers.

  • @bekyjewell
    @bekyjewell Před rokem +249

    My aunt was at a formal event where the discussion had turned to someone passing away. The room went silent, and she went to break it with either "What a pity" or "What a shame..." Landed on "WHAT A SHITTY."

    • @liengandriod55
      @liengandriod55 Před rokem +15

      So it got even more quiet, right?

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Před 7 měsíci +7

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @MDreamerIsBi
      @MDreamerIsBi Před 4 měsíci +7

      It still works, doesn't it?

  • @aspookyghost7319
    @aspookyghost7319 Před rokem +371

    Can we please make “look at the wheat” a normal thing for people to say when they have good cards in a card game

  • @vanhii
    @vanhii Před 9 měsíci +11

    I remember asking my friend if the pen she was using was a gel pen and she wanted to say no it's a ball pen but she ended up saying "no it's a bell pon"😂

  • @anishadaley6662
    @anishadaley6662 Před rokem +8

    My mom and I were in the drive through for Chick-Fil-A, and she rolled down the window and deadpan asked the order taker “do you sell.. chicken sandwiches here?”
    The worker was trying sooo hard to keep a straight face lol

  • @beek.4860
    @beek.4860 Před rokem +498

    Whilst reading the Bill of Rights out loud in American History class, a friend of mine accidentally turned the 8th Amendment from a statement prohibiting excessive bail into a ban on "Excessive Balls."

  • @Cometstarlight
    @Cometstarlight Před rokem +464

    Yikes, I remember this happening after I told a friend of mine in college that I was graduating that semester. He said, "Everyone's graduating and leaving me!" in a joking tone. I tried to say, "You won't be alone," and laugh, but instead what came out was, "Haha, you're gonna be alone!" He wouldn't let me live it down.

  • @nutmegdoesstuff1339
    @nutmegdoesstuff1339 Před rokem +5

    "Excuse me-"
    "No."
    (Refuses to elaborate and leaves)

  • @xyz3524
    @xyz3524 Před rokem +12

    3:34 I can imagine that being an insult.

  • @buh8896
    @buh8896 Před rokem +243

    imagine your just a student learning to read with your teacher and you get a word right, your teacher hesitates for a second and just yells with excitement "GOOD GOD!"

  • @RoseFloofer
    @RoseFloofer Před rokem +356

    My mom is very dyslexic and has said numerous funny things. Once when trying to tell me to grab corn pops at the grocery store she told me to get some "Porn cops" which was very embarrassing to hear next to the old folks next to us at walmart.

    • @RealestPerson.
      @RealestPerson. Před rokem

      Did you end up getting the porn cops?

    • @starlittardis2049
      @starlittardis2049 Před rokem +76

      As a kid, I meant to ask for a 'lemon curd tart' (a kind of sweet pastry) and instead asked for a 'lemon turd cart'.

    • @muttthingy9908
      @muttthingy9908 Před rokem +13

      @@starlittardis2049 this actually made me cry 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂

    • @-..l
      @-..l Před rokem +1

      @@starlittardis2049 So, did you get the lemon turd cart that you asked for?

    • @BeanKally
      @BeanKally Před rokem +12

      @@starlittardis2049 my friend was trying to show me a drawing she made, she tried to say “horse” and “pony” at the same time
      Guess what came out of her mouth

  • @topazwolf08
    @topazwolf08 Před 9 měsíci +11

    Today I hit my pinky on something and I tried to say “ow my pinky” and “ow my finger” at the same time and I ended up saying “ow my finky”. It immediately sent me into a laughing fit

  • @oren1305
    @oren1305 Před rokem +6

    It's become slightly infamous at my work, where I was closing down the shop due to a storm, and the last customer was leaving and I tried to call out, "Stay safe!" But my squirrel brain yelled out, "Stay shlafe!!!!", and the man chuckled all the way out.... 🙌

  • @RACINGUS95
    @RACINGUS95 Před rokem +449

    One time I opened the oven, and all the heat inside flew out into my face. I tried to say “I just got blasted in the face by warmness” and “I just got blasted in the face by heat” at the same time, and ended up yelling in front of my family “ah! I just got blasted in the face by wheat!”

    • @sabotower1792
      @sabotower1792 Před rokem +79

      LOOK AT THE WHEEAATT

    • @hot_soup4319
      @hot_soup4319 Před rokem +30

      Itd make sense if you were baking bread at the time

    • @higherpower2164
      @higherpower2164 Před rokem +5

      @sabotower was this u in the vid if so I haven't laughed that hard at somthing in a while thank u 🤣

    • @sabotower1792
      @sabotower1792 Před rokem +9

      @@higherpower2164 yah it was me, glad you enjoyed my brainfart

    • @PonandCon9025
      @PonandCon9025 Před rokem +13

      Wheat is becoming more and more powerful

  • @notanemovampire
    @notanemovampire Před rokem +546

    A less extreme one, when I was 11, at volleyball they gave me a form for my parents to fill out. Me being polite I wanted to say “Thanks” and “Thank you” at the same time. I looked this woman dead in the eye, and proceeded to say “THANK” and walked off.

    • @notanemovampire
      @notanemovampire Před rokem +8

      @CoolerCoolCool Coo pls- i could never

    • @aimoikonen
      @aimoikonen Před rokem +10

      Reminds me of that one episode of The Office where Kevin abbreviates his sentences :D

    • @ali_m_
      @ali_m_ Před rokem +14

      I sometimes just say thank purposefuly

    • @notanemovampire
      @notanemovampire Před rokem +2

      @@aimoikonen lmaoo

    • @ali_m_
      @ali_m_ Před rokem +1

      @Gray Just sounds funnier in my opinion

  • @snookerwither9955
    @snookerwither9955 Před rokem +14

    This isn't really the same thing, but once while I was very tired I went to say "excuse me" to someone I was trying to walk past and for some reason I said "pspspsps" as if I was trying to get the attention of a cat

  • @PrismaticVelocity
    @PrismaticVelocity Před rokem +16

    I haven’t genuinely laughed at a video in literal years. But this series is something else because my dyslexic brain dose this crappy to me all the time. Please continue the series and I love it so dearly

  • @goldenraven7721
    @goldenraven7721 Před rokem +71

    Once, playing a game with my friend, I tried to tell her, "I've got your back!" and "I saved your ass!" simultaneously and instead shouted "I got your ass!"

  • @Faggie
    @Faggie Před rokem +557

    4:08, I did this once too. I splashed a citrus based drink into my eye and my coworker said "My bad, sorry" I tried to tell him "not your fault" and "no worries" just said "not bad" as I clutched my eye in pain

  • @I_am_The_Tenth_Doctor
    @I_am_The_Tenth_Doctor Před 9 měsíci +7

    I once tried to say " I hope you pass" and "I hope you have this" and ended up saying "I hope you ace pass." To my friend who had an exam first lesson.

  • @lilchildsofficial
    @lilchildsofficial Před rokem +4

    I have no idea why Matt randomly saying “IT’S A BANOON” made me spit out my sprite but I guess 💀

  • @tacohead8543
    @tacohead8543 Před rokem +902

    Matt creates a sequel to a classic. This is gonna absolutely amazing!
    I'm still in denial about Yahoo Answers shutting down. Tomorrow I'm gonna go on Quora and pretend it's Yahoo answers.

    • @mfaizsyahmi
      @mfaizsyahmi Před rokem +50

      Somebody should make a browser extension that makes Quora look like Yahoo Answers.

    • @pilferedserenity1570
      @pilferedserenity1570 Před rokem +32

      Don't mislead yourself, you won't get "Shat and fell back in it" there

    • @zo6679
      @zo6679 Před rokem +21

      yeah, there's some weirdoes on there, but you have to go looking under rocks and crevices like you're looking for rare snails, where in yahoo answers, they'd just be scuttling out in the open

    • @aclarke7486
      @aclarke7486 Před rokem +9

      I’d say the people who were on Yahoo Answers have moved to Quora, since I’ve seen some idiocy there. This very channel has a seven minute video on Quora questions about Shrek, in fact.

    • @lefthandedspanner
      @lefthandedspanner Před rokem +2

      if you want to go really oldschool (as in, Usenet-old school), ask the question "how wuz hat putato plaed? did bil kulin tos uh putato at thu kuntestintz? tat wuld b a funi" and see what kind of reaction you get

  • @mubutukinkeke
    @mubutukinkeke Před rokem +182

    Years ago I tried telling a coworker that I was going for a smoke and accidentally said "fag" and "dart" at the same time, and so told them I was "just going downstairs for a fart".

    • @HVY526
      @HVY526 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Hey, did you know the first word you tried to say is a homophobic slur?

    • @mubutukinkeke
      @mubutukinkeke Před 8 měsíci +27

      @@HVY526 sure, when used in a particular context. However in the context I used it I was referring to a cigarette, which is also a very common meaning of the word.

    • @CakeTheGator
      @CakeTheGator Před 7 měsíci +20

      @@HVY526 'fag' is a term used to describe a cigarette, not necessarily a homophobic slur. much like how the Spanish word for black is used as a racial slur.

    • @user-ze6gh2qc5x
      @user-ze6gh2qc5x Před 7 měsíci +6

      not in this case because he wasn’t referring to lgbtq+ he was referring to cigarettes

    • @nala7829
      @nala7829 Před 6 měsíci +12

      @@HVY526 .... I'm not usually the one who has to point this out, but countries outside of the US exist 😂

  • @sunshine_skzluvr
    @sunshine_skzluvr Před rokem +6

    I once tried saying "sit down" and "share" at the same time to 2 CHILDREN AND MY DUMBASS SAID "SHIT AIR!!!" Lmao 💀 the children were too stunned to speak

  • @thepuzzlax627
    @thepuzzlax627 Před rokem +8

    This needs to be a REGULAR series, everyone loves this.

  • @X.x.SwagMaster420.x.X
    @X.x.SwagMaster420.x.X Před rokem +132

    I tried to say "Hey, what's up?" and "Hey, what's going on?" at the same time and ended up saying "Hey what's going up". The weird part is that I was talking to a soap dispenser that's shaped like a snail.

    • @emperorhaya5351
      @emperorhaya5351 Před rokem +21

      r/brandnewsentence

    • @justpuka1754
      @justpuka1754 Před rokem +7

      Happened to me too and then i giggled to myself he hard part is When someone hear you laugh and you have to explain i always say "Oh i remembered joke" ... Once someone asked me what joke and i said idk and then we laughed....

    • @ce7624
      @ce7624 Před rokem +2

      Gas prices, for one. 🤣

    • @haveagoodmourning
      @haveagoodmourning Před rokem

      I've been wanting one of those soap dispensers. Do they work alright?

    • @blakekeating6495
      @blakekeating6495 Před rokem

      story of my life

  • @leirawhitehart1236
    @leirawhitehart1236 Před rokem +300

    Mom: "What do you want cat?"
    (The cat was meowing)
    Me: "I think she's afraid I might eat her."
    Mom: "What?"
    Me: "What?"
    I meant to say, "I think she wants me to feed her", but I think whatever I was watching on TV at the time jumbled up my brain, and I ended up saying something *way more* disturbing than I ever meant it to be. ^^;

  • @shobanchiddarth_old
    @shobanchiddarth_old Před rokem +22

    2:46
    I'm Spider Parker... Um.. Peter Man

  • @Soviniy
    @Soviniy Před rokem +4

    The passion in these readings is making them way funnier than they have any right to be!

  • @lucyicanel
    @lucyicanel Před rokem +136

    I was at a d&d session and we got like nothing done so there was a joke where whenever someone did something, they got to be in the doing things club. I did something and tried to say, "Can I join the people in the doing things club?" and ended up really excitedly yelling, "Can I be in the doing people club?"

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 Před rokem +24

      "How's your charisma?"

    • @Kinokoumori
      @Kinokoumori Před 9 měsíci +13

      The Bard: "Fuck it, why not?"

    • @lucyicanel
      @lucyicanel Před 9 měsíci +14

      @@Kinokoumori Our bard is in fact also in the doing people club as earlier that same session he was lying on an npc's bed, shirtless, in the french girls pose for over an hour waiting for the npc come in and then fucked the npc while the rest of us were fighting for our lives

    • @Kinokoumori
      @Kinokoumori Před 9 měsíci

      @@lucyicanel Yep, sounds like our short King, Kairo. Damn Gnome bastard has at least half a dozen illegitimate hybrid children by now wondering where their father is...

    • @secretmeister
      @secretmeister Před 9 měsíci +7

      @@lucyicanel reminds me of the time I told my entire characters backstory to one of the other characters while lounging in a couch, while up a flight of stairs two other party members were fighting an infinite stream of (I forgor the word, somewhere between ghoul and goblins) there to prevent them from going in a door that had no significance

  • @ellab7366
    @ellab7366 Před rokem +181

    The "gargle shits" followed by blowing air at some poor dad's face actually made me pee a little

  • @lucesca
    @lucesca Před 8 měsíci +3

    Once I tried to say “Can I wash my hands in your bathroom?” to a coffee shop worker but it came out as, “Can I wash your hands in my bathroom?”
    I was with a friend and they haven’t let me live it down

  • @wubblenub8919
    @wubblenub8919 Před rokem +4

    I once was going upstairs and tried saying “my shoes are untied” and I just went too fast and just said “my twos are unshied”
    Been saying it since, honestly just feels better to say

  • @LichenJuice
    @LichenJuice Před rokem +102

    one time my sister wouldn't stop talking at dinner and it started getting on my nerves, so i tried to say "shut your mouth" and "eat your food" at the same time and what came out was "eat your mouth"

  • @PrismaPup7
    @PrismaPup7 Před rokem +168

    Not quite the same thing, but a couple days ago I was walking in the cold with some friends and thought up this clever line in my head - "I wish there was a hat for my face." Unfortunately, being a sleep-deprived college student, I instead confidently declared, "I wish there was a face for my head." =_=

    • @NEK_yt
      @NEK_yt Před 11 měsíci +7

      I do this kind of thing ALL THE TIME 😂

    • @elequira5467
      @elequira5467 Před 9 měsíci +10

      oh man, one time my mom was teasing me and said “you have evil goblin teeth” so i, sleep deprived, tried to respond with “i don’t have goblin teeth” but what came out was “i have no teeth.” followed by staring directly at her for like 5 seconds questioning my life decisions before bursting into laughter

    • @HawkTheDarllingg
      @HawkTheDarllingg Před 3 měsíci +1

      ​@@elequira5467 to prove you have teeth right?

  • @Gene2B
    @Gene2B Před rokem +6

    My greatest pain is when I held the door for a pretty woman and when she said thank you I responded with, "Your problem." I accidentally combined You're welcome and no problem and it still keeps me up at night

  • @jacoballwright3254
    @jacoballwright3254 Před 5 měsíci +2

    Tried to once tell the time to someone, by saying ‘it’s half seven’ and ‘it’s seven thirty’ and came up with ‘IT’S HEAVEN, SIR’. Not my finest moment…

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Před 4 měsíci

      what a time to be alive!