My friend told me my locker was a mess I tried to say “I don’t care” and “It doesn’t matter”. The conversation went like this: “Wow you’re lockers messy” “I don’t matter”
When I was 6 my stepmom was tucking me into bed and she tried to say “goodnight” and “sweet dreams” at the same time but accidentally said “go die sweetie” I just remember I started crying and she had to apologize and cuddle with me for 10 minutes before I finally was able to go to sleep
I once, after winning in a card game, tried to say "Read 'em and weep" and "Take a look at these" at the same time as I threw down my cards, and ended up just saying "Look at the wheat".
I love how the brain almost knows it’s about to spout garbled nonsense, so it picks the words that closest resemble the garble to produce just plain nonsense
Once I tried to say “I’ll just have my fun and you’ll have yours” and “we don’t have to be at each other‘s throat‘s” at the same time and I accidentally ended up saying “I’ll have your throat”
One time I tried to tell my parents that our dog was sitting and shivering by the front door but instead I accidentally told them “Lily is shitting by the front door” 😂
I once tried to say, “what a fussy duck” in response to my aunt saying her cat only ate a specific cat food. For some reason my brain couldn’t handle all that so I said, “what the fuck” in front of all of my elderly relatives.
Years and years ago, my little sister was learning proper table manners. I tried to tell her "don't chew with your mouth open" and "don't talk with your mouth full" at the same time. I ended up yelling "DON'T CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL" and she's never had three meals a day since.
I was at work and noticed a pedestrian running in a very bizarre fashion. I tried to say walking and jogging at the same time on accident so what came out of my mouth was a loud proclamation of “THAT DUDE IS WOGGING!” My coworker and I were shitting ourselves over it for a while afterwards.
Was in a meeting with other lead students and a few teachers. One kid had asked me prior to the meeting if I could ask to change a small aspect of the school to make bringing things to school a whole lot easier. I tried to say, "I want to bring up a point" and "I have an idea" at the same time and stared our Headmaster in the eye and said "I want idea." HE RESPONDED CALMLY WITH "That's... why we're here."
One time a girl was telling me how she thought her dad loved her other siblings more than he loved her. I meant to say “That’s not true” and “I’m sure that’s wrong” at the same time, but ended up telling her “I’m sure that’s true”.
@@aaadjfje you will never know, after 4 days without a response there is a 10% chance of him sending a response to you or a 90% chance of him just vanishing of the internet for some weird reason
Once tried to say "Pleasure to be here" and "pleasure to meet you" at the same time in an interview and ended up telling the interviewer "pleasure to beat you!" 💀
I went to a zoo once as a kid and when I was looking at the animals I was trying to decide between saying “aww hi” and “aww hello” in the end I accidentally said “aww hell” 🥰
I remember when my grandma was driving me to school and tried to say "donkeys" and "heehaw" at the same time but instead she said "honkeys". We were laughing so hard
I'm an English teacher for non natives, and while trying to explain the meaning of the word ball as a party/festivity, a student tried saying "nice explanation" or something and ended up saying "nice balls". We both died.
Oh my god. I would have burst into a fit of embarrassment. I was talking to my mom the other day, and I tried saying "I'm quite weird" and something else, I ended up saying I'm queer. 😑😮💨
I remember once I was talking to myself and tried to say “I’ve got a lot of time on my hands” and “I’ve got a lot of time to kill” and instead just said “I’ve got a lot of hands to kill” and then laughed to myself at a playground all alone
I can only imagine someone walking past hearing you say that you have a lot of hands to kill and then start ominously laughing to yourself, all while sitting at a playground.
Just then I tried to say “I’m watching someone make biscuits” but I ended up saying “I’m making someone watch biscuits” and my mother replied with ok. I think she is concerned.
One time I was at a restaurant and was close to the place where you order. I heard this one guy order. He was ordering a sandwich and I thinking he was trying to say “red onions” cuz that was an option on the menu. So when the waitress asked “what else would you like on your sandwich” he said, in the most stern voice ever… “run.”
One time I was trying to say “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” and “hold your horses” and ended up saying “don’t count your horses before they hatch” and that is hands down the worst sentence I’ve ever uttered
Oh dear god. This brings back the memory of me trying to say, "Have a nice day, ma'am." Instead I ended up yelling at a customer (in a bookshop) "HAVE A HAM."
I tried to say “I’m gonna cry” and “I’m gonna scream” and ended up whispering “I’m gonna cream” and just noticed someone in this video did the same thing, although my algebra teacher got very concerned when I stared at our work for the day and said what I said.
Bruh. One time I tried to say 'noodle' and 'purgatory' in the same sentence, and it came out as "NOOGLE". I promptly laughed so hard I snorted a segment of angel hair pasta through my nose 🥲
just gotta ask why you were talking about noodle purgatory. is there perhaps a noodle heaven and a noodle hell? or do they just sit, waiting in pain and dread.
one time, my friend fell off of a swing and I tried to say "are you okay?" and "you good?" at the same time and I accidentally yelled out "WOAH ARE YOU GAY?"
I’ve literally never had this happen to me in my life until last week when I tried to say both “hello” and “‘ello buddy” to my brother at the same time and ended up just blurting out “elbow”
Was talking to a friend once complaining about the boys in school and tried to say some combination of "I don't want classes with teenage boys" and "I don't want teenage boys to be in classes with me" and somehow ended up saying "I don't want teenage boys in me." I mean, I don't, but that was not the point I was trying to make at that time
I don't remember doing anything like this in public, but I was playing a game with my gf and when starting to fight enemies I sometimes either "FUCK EM UP" or "GET HIS ASS" so one glorious time I screamed "FUCK HIS ASS"
I was playing Breath of the Wild while my girlfriend was explaining a weird dream she had. The entire time I was thinking to myself, "man, that's fucking funny," but I never said it out loud. The conversation changed to how she didn't like Zelda as a character. I wanted to say "I like Zelda." However, my mind was still on the topic of my previous thought so I paused the game, looked my girlfriend in the eye and said: "Man, I fucked Zelda." She just stared at me for a second until I started laughing.
I once meant to tell my friend “oh I didn’t know your dad was a teacher” or “oh I didn’t know you had a dad as a teacher” but what I ended up saying was “oh. I didn’t know you had a dad.”
When I was ten I tried to say "sorry" and "of course" at the same time, but ended up whispering "s-s-s-sau-au-ce" To a random tall guy at a water park.
I once tried to say "You're talking out of your butt", but somehow managed to combine it with another saying and it turned into "You're talking out of both sides of your butt."
I am known for mixing words like- I was going to get water from the fridge and my mom was sitting at the dinner table. Came out as "I need thirsty i am water"
I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself, literally. Reminds me of a time I wanted to say "bless you" and "are you okay" to someone who had just sneezed and ended up saying "are you, you?"
my friend was down in the dumps and i tried to ask if he was moping and grumpy at the same time. it came out "are you groping?" my sister was trying to say "that guy wiped the floor with me" and "that guy kicked my ass" about a particularly hard boss battle in a video game, and came out with "that guy wiped my ass."
My favorite is this tweet that said "I tried to say 'hold on for a moment' and 'give me a second' and ended up saying 'hold me for a moment.' what a monday" 😂
When I was in fourth grade all those eons ago, I went grocery shopping with my mom. I was carrying chicken to her shopping cart and accidentally bumped into a guy on my way. I guess I was trying to say both “oops” and “sorry!” at the same time, because I proceeded to look this man dead in the eyes and go, “Soup.” before walking away.
I tried to ask a customer “What can I help you with?” and “What can I do for you?” at the same time. What came out of my mouth was “What can I do you with?”
In chemistry i had to get past some people and i tried to say “can i get past” and “can i squeeze pass” at the same time and said “can i get squeezed” before walking past a group of 4
I was trying to say something like "can you move" at the same time as something else (it was a few years back so I don't remember what it was) in a chemistry lab and asked "can you smash me", so it seems there's a theme with chemistry and accidentally asking people to do odd things to you :|
This reminds me of the Tumblr post I saw of someone trying to say "Oh crap, I left my phone in my car," but what they almost said was "Oh no, I left my cone in my phar," but they caught themself, and what they actually said was "Ah, my fart cone."
Once a friend was telling me about her overcoming her intense anxiety attacks and I tried to say "I'm really happy for you." and "That's amazing!" at the same time and it came out as "I'm really amazing!" 🤦♀
My friend who I am no longer friends with once tried to say "Having a mental breakdown" and "crying" at the same time and ended up saying "having a crying"
My all time favorite is one from tumblr that says “So, I MEANT to say ‘oh crap, I left my phone in my car,’ but what I ALMOST said was 'oh no, I left my cone in my phar,’ and damn, wouldn't that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was ‘Ah, my fart cone.’”
i work in a cathedral and once accidentally, by trying to say "i don't receive communion" and "i'm not confirmed" at the same time because it was 8am and i wasn't fully awake yet, told a very bemused priest that i am not communist.
This once happened when I was texting my boyfriend. I wanted to say "I love you" and "Talk to you later" and ended up saying "love you later" I laughed so much trying to explain him what I was trying to say
Once, my mom and I were talking about 9/11. It was an emotional conversation, and she said something really serious to me about her experience (i wasn’t alive at the time). I tried to respond by saying “yeah” and “uh huh” at the same time. Ended up saying “yeehaw.”
When working in fast food, I tried to tell an old lady "have a great day" and "have a good one" at the same time and ended up wishing her "have a good gay"
I’ve definitely said “your problem!” multiple times. I also once told a customer “your turtle is $17.42” instead of “total” and we had a good laugh lol
My sister was being annoying as all hell once when I was cooking rice-a-roni and started badgering me with questions "What flavor is it? When's it gonna be done?" And I was so pent up with anger I screamed "CHICKEN MINUTES" in unfiltered hatred and rage and she and mom just looked at me. It was so ridiculous that we burst into laughter after a moments silence
I was in two different conversations. I was trying to explain to someone how the Pope becomes the Pope, and another just to my friends. I was in the middle of a sentence about the Pope, and was thinking in my head for my next response in my other conversation, that had the word “loop” in it. I ended up blurting out “poop of the Catholic Church!”
A few months ago I was reading a book out loud and I tried to say "Bone breaking" in response to a situation that was happening in the story and I ended up saying "Thats Brain boking!"
I tried to say "center of gravity" and "center of mass" at the same time, ended up with "center of grass," kept saying it throughout my explanation, before realizing I was saying it
One time I tried to say "ah, shit," except halfway through it, I thought it'd be even funnier if I said frick instead. But then, halfway through _that,_ I thought it'd be even _funnier_ if I were to say heck. I ended up saying "Ah, Shrek."
Yesterday, I spilled pasta sauce on my hands, and in my distressed state, I just said "Jaa, fucking dahmn it" and me and my sister were just silent laughing in the kitchen over my gibberish 🤣
My dad once gave me a lift to meet a friend for coffee but he dropped me off way too early. He then tried to say " you can always kill some time" and "just lose yourself for a bit" but what he actually said was "you can always kill yourself"
My friend was telling me a story about how one of her idiot boyfriends at the time had been messing around in the street, and I cut her off near the end and said, "let me guess, he got ran over by a pancake, flattened like a car" She stared at me, asked if I meant to say that, and then we both started cackling once I realized what I said.
I wasn't trying to say two things at the same time, but something similar happened to me. I was in Paris for a weekend school trip and were allowed to go shopping unsupervised. I do French in school so knew more French than most of my friends, so I spoke to the people in shops when my friends bought stuff. It all went fine in this one shop until I tried to say "Bonne journée" which means have a good day, but got confused because just saying day is "jour". I ended up saying "Bonjour!" And walking out confidently.
I have a history with these kinds of misspeakings. For example, once in music theory class, I tried to say "flip flat and sharp." This resulted in me tentatively and carefully uttering the phrase "flip.... flap.... shart." My teacher didn't even say anything about it.
my favourite one of these i read is someone walked into a library, couldn't decide between "i have to pay a fine" and "i have to pay a fee" (it was a few cents)--they said "i have to pee," slapped $5 on the counter, and walked out
One time my dog went in front of me and wouldn't move so i tried to say "Go on" but also ran into my dad at the same time so i tried to say "excuse me" but then just ended up blurting out "Go excuse". I think both of our brains hadn't really registered what i said until i said "Er- excuse me" Also i just wanted to say i haven't laughed like this for a long time. I was practically choke-laughing by the end of this. You have my respect.
I was telling my little sister about one of my cats one time. The cat's name is Rebel/ Simba, so I tried to say both at the same time and said "His name is Symbol!"
I've learned to avoid playing doubles tennis because whenever my partner does something well, I'll try and say "nice shot" and "nice hit" at the same time, and without fail I end up saying "nice shit!"
A teacher was likely trying to say “Don’t go in threes” and “don’t block the hallway” and ended up saying, audibly to all present students, “don’t have a threeway”. It’s a shame I had to hear this story secondhand.
As some background for this, I have ADHD so sometimes I forget when I've done things in my daily routine, so occasionally I'll tell someone I've done a task immediately after I've done it. One day, I went up to my mother to say something about having brushed my teeth or that we need new toothpaste or something and all that came out was a very long pause followed by me saying the word "teeth" in an incredibly worrying tone.
Just yesterday I was in an argument so I tried to say “shut up” and “ f^ck you” at the same time. Ended up saying “f^ck up” in a dead serious tone of voice 😂
I've got one that literally just happened: My friends said they wanted to go for a walk whilst I wait for my food, and one of them felt bad for leaving me. I tried to say "Go, spread your wings" and "Go, stretch your legs" at the same time and ended up saying _"Go, spread your legs"..._
A while ago in New Zealand they were loosening some coronavirus restrictions and the politician making the announcement made exactly the same mistake. A classic.
Reminds me of the one time I was arguing with someone, and I wanted to say "I have" and "I am" and angrilly shouted "I HAM!" Argument ended right there as we both burst out laughing.
Once I was telling ny grandmother a story, she waved her hand infront my face while I was mid sentence. The sentence came out as "because I was high??" Was extremely embarrassing because I've spent my entire teen years trying to convince my family I had absolutely no interest on drugs, weed, alcohol ect
my sister was playing pingpong with my dad, and he scored on her with some fancy twist. She tried to say "nice shot!" and "nice hit!" at the same time... i hear from the other room "NICE SH** DAD!!!!"
I once tried to tell my friend that I had snowflake earrings but then I accidentally switched the two words and was about to say that I had earflake snowrings but I caught it mid sentence so what came out was “I HAVE EAR FLAKES”.
When I started my first job as a cashier, I went to ask "Credit or debit?" And I just asked "Crebit?" and the customer was like tf bc I couldn't stop laughing 😂😂 shit still cracks me up
Tried to say "bad luck" and "good effort" to a teammate, who had just dropped a catch, I ended up saying: "bad effort" to the poor, now sad individual.
@@blumbles_ I dunno, but I felt super bad, cause it wasn't their only dropped catch that game. XD, the look of devastation they gave me. Haunts me 2-3 months later.
One time I tried saying “I’m sitting” and “I’m squatting” at the same time but ended up saying “I’m squirting”. And what made this even more embarrassing was that I said this to my Aunt 🙃
I remember I once tried saying "I'm leaving" and "bye" at the same time, and I said "I'm bi" and my friend said "No, I'm the bi one, you're lesbian" she's not wrong though.
reminds me of the time my boy best friend asked me “are you lesbian” and “why are you gay” (he had a crush on me ig) but just ended up saying “why gay lesbian you’re” then one of his friends can up behind us and looked him dead in the eye and said, “no she f^cks pans too” (she’s pan+she f^cks guys too)
Saying that you're God as a dismissal of help from bringing in groceries is actually quite powerful
I often accidentally say God instead of good when someone asks how I am. Its become an inside joke with many people lol
There’s already a bot.
@@Brimations It has now been removed. I am God.
@@Matt_Rose Yes you are
@@Matt_Rose hell yeah
I tried to say to a pregnant lady “have a nice night” and “good luck having your baby” and it came out as “have a nice baby”
Somehow it still works lmao
That's so cute
Maleficent looking ass 😭💀
“Thanks you too!”
yes as opposed to those bad babies you could have
My friend told me my locker was a mess
I tried to say “I don’t care” and “It doesn’t matter”. The conversation went like this:
“Wow you’re lockers messy”
“I don’t matter”
a reasonable response if you think about it
i said "de" for no reason while readong this
you sound like me fr
@@TheBestYogurt i said ''hahaha hahahahha'' for no reason while reading this
@@zo4225 real
When I was 6 my stepmom was tucking me into bed and she tried to say “goodnight” and “sweet dreams” at the same time but accidentally said “go die sweetie” I just remember I started crying and she had to apologize and cuddle with me for 10 minutes before I finally was able to go to sleep
Oh no
omg 😂😂
underrated comment 😭
If that was said to me, they'd actually mean it
Oh god! I’m dying of laughter!
The amount of times I've tried to say "you're welcome" and "no worries" at the same time and end up saying "your worries" is embarrassingly high.
well im gonna say that too now... its perfect "thanks for picking me off the ground!" "your worries." "what?"
Poor you
@@meetaverma8372 I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not
No welcome
You worries about 3 things
I once, after winning in a card game, tried to say "Read 'em and weep" and "Take a look at these" at the same time as I threw down my cards, and ended up just saying "Look at the wheat".
I actually read wheat in the first half
I love how the brain almost knows it’s about to spout garbled nonsense, so it picks the words that closest resemble the garble to produce just plain nonsense
No no no that's what you say when you're winning at Catan. Easy mistake to make >:)
Oh come on, you barley embarrassed yourself
@@meetaverma8372 I kind of like the phrase, actually. Goes against the grain. I'm not being rye here.
Once I tried to say “I’ll just have my fun and you’ll have yours” and “we don’t have to be at each other‘s throat‘s” at the same time and I accidentally ended up saying “I’ll have your throat”
ON A SILVER PLATTER!
What were you talking about to end up saying that??
🤔
@@noxxisdum._. probably a discussion with a partner
Literally the opposite, i love that
@@seams4186 nah this was after my cousin broke a third hole in my nose and we were deciding on weather to play dauntless or Fortnite
One time, I tried to say “quick math” while thinking about pistachios and accidentally said “quick nut”
😂😂
_I'm gonna do some quick nut_
Ah yes, *quick n u t*
Everyday man's on the block
Two plus two that's four quick nut
did they?
My friend once tried to say “I apologize” and “I’m sorry” at the same time. She looked her friend and breathed out “I’m Paul!”
Hi Paul I'm apologize
hai, im paul! :D
Hi Paul I’m dad
Paul is not dead, he's right here
Petscop reference
Buddy tried to say "I don't think people will care" and "It doesn't matter" and came out as "I don't think people matter."
i mean it still works in a way
Mood
honestly sums it up perfectly
I mean.. Thats technically true?
Based
Once I tried to say "your very cute" and "you have a very cute face" to my dog at the same time and I said "you are very face"
Fact
Your face is good. I'm a Soos!
One time I tried to tell my parents that our dog was sitting and shivering by the front door but instead I accidentally told them “Lily is shitting by the front door” 😂
I laughed so hard at that 😂
I'm laughing so hard I'm literally crying 😂😂😂😂😂
PLS 💀
It's wierd that moira is the Greek sister of fate
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I once tried to say, “what a fussy duck” in response to my aunt saying her cat only ate a specific cat food. For some reason my brain couldn’t handle all that so I said, “what the fuck” in front of all of my elderly relatives.
This is amazing, and probably even funnier in context. "Yeah, fluffy's only been eating canned food recently." "What the fuck?"
this one wins
@@RyanTosh yeah that pretty much sums it up. 🤣
not me reading fussy as fUSSY, the internet has broke me
@@popplejam2128 same
Ill never be the same again
Years and years ago, my little sister was learning proper table manners. I tried to tell her "don't chew with your mouth open" and "don't talk with your mouth full" at the same time. I ended up yelling "DON'T CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL" and she's never had three meals a day since.
I almost died reading this.
You'd be surprised at how many times I've heard "don't talk with your mouth open" in such situations.
@@SirYodaJedi I mean, sign language can work
I have heard both “Don’t chew with your mouth full” and “Don’t talk with your mouth open” on multiple occasions.
AKFUQIDB IVE DONE THIS EXACT SAME THING
I was at work and noticed a pedestrian running in a very bizarre fashion. I tried to say walking and jogging at the same time on accident so what came out of my mouth was a loud proclamation of “THAT DUDE IS WOGGING!” My coworker and I were shitting ourselves over it for a while afterwards.
wog
LMAO
Was in a meeting with other lead students and a few teachers. One kid had asked me prior to the meeting if I could ask to change a small aspect of the school to make bringing things to school a whole lot easier. I tried to say, "I want to bring up a point" and "I have an idea" at the same time and stared our Headmaster in the eye and said "I want idea."
HE RESPONDED CALMLY WITH
"That's... why we're here."
This might be the most hilarious thing I've ever seen and I don't know why, but thank you.
@@averygracemusic Anytime.
@@averygracemusic it's because the no "an" in it and the "that's... Why were here.." so it's just " *I want idea* "
@@ben12355 🤓
That response reminds me of that one Obi Wan meme
One time a girl was telling me how she thought her dad loved her other siblings more than he loved her. I meant to say “That’s not true” and “I’m sure that’s wrong” at the same time, but ended up telling her “I’m sure that’s true”.
ohno
*oof*
Oh lawd
@@aaadjfje you will never know, after 4 days without a response there is a 10% chance of him sending a response to you or a 90% chance of him just vanishing of the internet for some weird reason
🌚🌝
Once tried to say "Pleasure to be here" and "pleasure to meet you" at the same time in an interview and ended up telling the interviewer "pleasure to beat you!" 💀
That definitely fits
DO IT
Peace was never an option
What 💀💀💀
@@MWulandri pfp definitely fits
I went to a zoo once as a kid and when I was looking at the animals I was trying to decide between saying “aww hi” and “aww hello” in the end I accidentally said “aww hell” 🥰
Lol. What did your parents do?
@@EASgirl25 I very quickly said “I mean hello!” afterwards and they asked what I said before and I just said “nothing”
@@mcwavez cool lol
I remember when my grandma was driving me to school and tried to say "donkeys" and "heehaw" at the same time but instead she said "honkeys". We were laughing so hard
we need context
@@froxdoggaming3385 it’s… right there
Honkeys
@@AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes why were they trying to say "donkeys" and "heehaw" at the same time
@@froxdoggaming3385 you know what, that's a fair question
I'm an English teacher for non natives, and while trying to explain the meaning of the word ball as a party/festivity, a student tried saying "nice explanation" or something and ended up saying "nice balls". We both died.
I like how you say ‘we both died’, so it just sounds like you both literally had died.
@@ducksarewayyybetterthanyou No I think they both dies
Oh my god. I would have burst into a fit of embarrassment. I was talking to my mom the other day, and I tried saying "I'm quite weird" and something else, I ended up saying I'm queer. 😑😮💨
@@zarajones6638 I-
@@zarajones6638 I'm proud of you for coming out to your mom
I remember once I was talking to myself and tried to say “I’ve got a lot of time on my hands” and “I’ve got a lot of time to kill” and instead just said “I’ve got a lot of hands to kill” and then laughed to myself at a playground all alone
i wish you had said that in front of other people because it is incredibly ominous
@@raeofsunshine8377 yeah same
I can only imagine someone walking past hearing you say that you have a lot of hands to kill and then start ominously laughing to yourself, all while sitting at a playground.
@@tieguy1101 This is even funnier if you think of them as an adult at the time of the incedent
I thought you meant "I've got a lot of time for killing (people)".
Just then I tried to say “I’m watching someone make biscuits” but I ended up saying “I’m making someone watch biscuits” and my mother replied with ok. I think she is concerned.
im imagining someone being held at gunpoint forced to make biscuits
Not make biscuits, just watch them lying there 😂
@@thevampire-household While being held at gunpoint, for some reason.
😂😂😂😂😂
One time I was at a restaurant and was close to the place where you order. I heard this one guy order. He was ordering a sandwich and I thinking he was trying to say “red onions” cuz that was an option on the menu. So when the waitress asked “what else would you like on your sandwich” he said, in the most stern voice ever… “run.”
He about to turn her into red onions
One time I was trying to say “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” and “hold your horses” and ended up saying “don’t count your horses before they hatch” and that is hands down the worst sentence I’ve ever uttered
The best*
Horse egg
Horses come from chicken eggs that checks out
Are you kidding? That's one of the best I've ever heard!
PLS i love that
Oh dear god. This brings back the memory of me trying to say, "Have a nice day, ma'am." Instead I ended up yelling at a customer (in a bookshop) "HAVE A HAM."
I mean maybe they were hungry
I can just imagine the thought process of that poor woman
@@ishaalimtiaz6715 maybe… but who truly knows
*H A M*
and the fact you yelled it, everyone probably heard it, is just the cherry on top lmao
I tried to say “I’m gonna cry” and “I’m gonna scream” and ended up whispering “I’m gonna cream” and just noticed someone in this video did the same thing, although my algebra teacher got very concerned when I stared at our work for the day and said what I said.
Some people just really, really like math
Bruh. One time I tried to say 'noodle' and 'purgatory' in the same sentence, and it came out as "NOOGLE". I promptly laughed so hard I snorted a segment of angel hair pasta through my nose 🥲
just gotta ask why you were talking about noodle purgatory. is there perhaps a noodle heaven and a noodle hell? or do they just sit, waiting in pain and dread.
Why were you trying to say it
why is bro talking about noodle purgatory
~noogatory~
What were those two words doing in the same sentence anyway?
one time, my friend fell off of a swing and I tried to say "are you okay?" and "you good?" at the same time and I accidentally yelled out "WOAH ARE YOU GAY?"
Falling off a swing = Gay
_The math doesn't add up_
Well, were they?
@@shanemason3669 kinda
Imagine hey just respond "Yea wbu"
@@rogelioibarramorales2968 GAY ENDING
these are all hilarious but the “are you fucking sorry?!” one always manages to bring me to tears without fail whenever it comes back up
The fact that it was a mistake. If it was said on purpose, it would’ve been such a raw line.
'"careful! Its soup''
Gordan Ramsey in a nutshell
*"I'm a dick."*
The "what are you" is amazing too though.
I’ve literally never had this happen to me in my life until last week when I tried to say both “hello” and “‘ello buddy” to my brother at the same time and ended up just blurting out “elbow”
Was talking to a friend once complaining about the boys in school and tried to say some combination of "I don't want classes with teenage boys" and "I don't want teenage boys to be in classes with me" and somehow ended up saying "I don't want teenage boys in me." I mean, I don't, but that was not the point I was trying to make at that time
Imagine her reaction tho like girl wtf
One of my friends accidentally bumped into someone, and, while trying to say "I'm sorry" and "hope you're okay" said: "I hope you're sorry"
Twice.
*"listen here, you BETTER BE SORRY OR ELSE"*
@@KompridiCR 💀👍
This is the more polite version “Are you fucking sorry??”
@@Blazdragon34 LMAO
@@Strauberry69 *sakuuull emojayy*
I don't remember doing anything like this in public, but I was playing a game with my gf and when starting to fight enemies I sometimes either "FUCK EM UP" or "GET HIS ASS" so one glorious time I screamed "FUCK HIS ASS"
YEAH!!!
Said with the right enthusiasm it can be perceived as intentional
I'M LITERALLY FUCKING LOSING MY MIND READING THIS RSTDGCVHJVIB
I say that unironically as an expression :D
Did you're gf stare at you
I was playing Breath of the Wild while my girlfriend was explaining a weird dream she had. The entire time I was thinking to myself, "man, that's fucking funny," but I never said it out loud. The conversation changed to how she didn't like Zelda as a character. I wanted to say "I like Zelda." However, my mind was still on the topic of my previous thought so I paused the game, looked my girlfriend in the eye and said: "Man, I fucked Zelda." She just stared at me for a second until I started laughing.
I'm sorry, what-
My parents now say "careful it's soup" whenever they give me hot food
Thank you Matt
Careful, it's *NEW SOUP*
@@leonardonunes5437Careful, It’s not *SOUP*
I once meant to tell my friend “oh I didn’t know your dad was a teacher” or “oh I didn’t know you had a dad as a teacher” but what I ended up saying was “oh. I didn’t know you had a dad.”
LOL
Bruh
Roasted them to a fine crisp
This one made me laugh out loud
L o l
speech 100 😎
This was too good. I haven’t had a genuine solid 5 minutes of ACTUAL laughing in forever. God my stomach hurts like hell but this is a piece of art.
It wasn’t even funny-
@@rainbowspongebob let the random commenter laugh
The local Pussy Pooper: Check your pussy.
@@rainbowspongebob what are you trying to achieve with this comment
I had to go to the bathroom after the video because I almost shit my pants
When I was ten I tried to say "sorry" and "of course" at the same time, but ended up whispering "s-s-s-sau-au-ce" To a random tall guy at a water park.
*bump*
s-s-s-SAAAAAAUCE-
I just wanted to say "it's a car" and "it's a school bus" to my dogs and just said "it's a chode" very defeatedly
I once tried to say "You're talking out of your butt", but somehow managed to combine it with another saying and it turned into "You're talking out of both sides of your butt."
This comment made me laugh so much harder then the video itself 😂
We must change the phrase to this 😂
I think I actually busted a blood vessel
Mysterious as the dark side of the MoOoOn
Oh man, I gotta add that to my daily vernacular.
I once tried to say “Have a nice day” and “No problem” to a customer but what came out was “Have a nice problem!” 😂
Them "how dare you *^*"
Oop
Have no day
LMAOΣ(⊙▽⊙")
Do they like doing Maths problems?
I mean, at least it's a nice problem instead of a horrible problem, that's something.
I am known for mixing words like-
I was going to get water from the fridge and my mom was sitting at the dinner table. Came out as "I need thirsty i am water"
*_I AM WATER. I NEED THIRSTY._*
@@majorse203 🥵🥵🥶🥶😭😭💯💯, but mostly just 😭😭
@@Wild_Discovery i don't understand the first wave of these emojis
Do you need thirsty???
@@Opalescence00 yas
One time i was at a party and I couldnt decide on whether to say "congrats" or "congratulations". I ended up saying "Congratulats"
"It's all your fault" has the same energy as "are you fucking sorry"
I mean they're both in the video
No... I think the way he said "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY" has a lot more energy.
@@ShTHfan1 that one will always be a classic
those are my favourites
I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself, literally. Reminds me of a time I wanted to say "bless you" and "are you okay" to someone who had just sneezed and ended up saying "are you, you?"
Matrix unwinds
Considering that saying "bless you" when someone sneezed was because they thought a sneeze was their soul leaving their body, kind of makes sense 🤔
"you never sneeze, this isn't you"
asking the real questions
The biggest existential crisis right after sneezing lmao
my friend was down in the dumps and i tried to ask if he was moping and grumpy at the same time. it came out "are you groping?"
my sister was trying to say "that guy wiped the floor with me" and "that guy kicked my ass" about a particularly hard boss battle in a video game, and came out with "that guy wiped my ass."
THE LAST OEN 💀💀💀💀💀
I read the first one to the tune of "teddy bears picnic" 💀
My favorite is this tweet that said "I tried to say 'hold on for a moment' and 'give me a second' and ended up saying 'hold me for a moment.' what a monday" 😂
When I was in fourth grade all those eons ago, I went grocery shopping with my mom. I was carrying chicken to her shopping cart and accidentally bumped into a guy on my way. I guess I was trying to say both “oops” and “sorry!” at the same time, because I proceeded to look this man dead in the eyes and go, “Soup.” before walking away.
The man must have thought you were explaining your mission, and the ultimate fate of the chicken in your hands.
I am in TEARS
“Careful, it’s soup!”
*Bumps into someone* Soup! *Walks away before realizing what they said*
What an absolute power move
I laughed through the whole video, but the "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!" (at 4:40) tweet was my personal favorite out of all these bahahahaha
My favorite was the "i'm polynesian" one at 3:50
My favorite was the one at 3:13
I feel like the ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY thing is like the absolute classic for a kind of incorrect quotes thing XD
same. i laughed hard enough to wake up my sister, and not even the fire alarm can usually accomplish that.
it's from a very old 4chan post
I tried to ask a customer “What can I help you with?” and “What can I do for you?” at the same time. What came out of my mouth was “What can I do you with?”
I was talking to a girl I like and I wanted to ask "Isn't that the second time he's in Texas?" but I accidentally said "Isn't that sexist?"
In chemistry i had to get past some people and i tried to say “can i get past” and “can i squeeze pass” at the same time and said “can i get squeezed” before walking past a group of 4
So did you get squeezed?
I was trying to say something like "can you move" at the same time as something else (it was a few years back so I don't remember what it was) in a chemistry lab and asked "can you smash me", so it seems there's a theme with chemistry and accidentally asking people to do odd things to you :|
so one person asked for a hug and the other asked to get laid, one of you had a much more wholesome mistake from my perspective
@@RyanTosh if it helps, maybe one of them played Smash Bros and thought you just wanted to play. lol
@@sethmichel6138 I think “can I get squeezed” sounds more like a asking to get groped than a asking for a hug
This reminds me of the Tumblr post I saw of someone trying to say "Oh crap, I left my phone in my car," but what they almost said was "Oh no, I left my cone in my phar," but they caught themself, and what they actually said was
"Ah, my fart cone."
Everytime I read this one I laugh so hard I can't breath😭
😭😭
I cant breathe while I'm typing thing😂😂 ow my chest I laughed so hard
My fart cone
💀💀💀
HOW do you fuck up this badly?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Once a friend was telling me about her overcoming her intense anxiety attacks and I tried to say "I'm really happy for you." and "That's amazing!" at the same time and it came out as "I'm really amazing!" 🤦♀
Self love am I right?
Her face of bruh
My friend who I am no longer friends with once tried to say "Having a mental breakdown" and "crying" at the same time and ended up saying "having a crying"
My all time favorite is one from tumblr that says
“So, I MEANT to say ‘oh crap, I left my phone in my car,’ but what I ALMOST said was 'oh no, I left my cone in my phar,’ and damn, wouldn't that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said
was
‘Ah, my fart cone.’”
I'm just dead.
@@morghiplier no bruh he's dead
@@ben12355 lemme join ya
help😭
💀
i work in a cathedral and once accidentally, by trying to say "i don't receive communion" and "i'm not confirmed" at the same time because it was 8am and i wasn't fully awake yet, told a very bemused priest that i am not communist.
I should think the priest would appreciate that, since according to what I've heard, religion and communism don't mix! 😆
PFFFT
the cold war
@@jorvach9874 Only some forms of communism are incompatible with religion. Some forms mix the two together. (see Christian Communism)
‘Will you be taking communion today, my child?’
‘No, sorry, I’m not communist’
GOLD 🤣🤣🤣
I was in a race, and my friend Jovi got in the way I tried saying "Move Jovi!" And "Jovi, move!" And ended up screaming "MOVIE JOE"
This once happened when I was texting my boyfriend. I wanted to say "I love you" and "Talk to you later" and ended up saying "love you later"
I laughed so much trying to explain him what I was trying to say
That's always a fun time I once tried to say "have a great day"and"your welcome" and I said
"Have a great welcome!"HWLP
Once, my mom and I were talking about 9/11. It was an emotional conversation, and she said something really serious to me about her experience (i wasn’t alive at the time). I tried to respond by saying “yeah” and “uh huh” at the same time. Ended up saying “yeehaw.”
This is my favourite I think oh lord 💀
🤠
You accidentally uncovered the secret extra way of using "Yeehaw", where it's basically a substitute for "Oof".
“Yeah my friend got ran over and died just before you were born”
“Yeehaw”
@@Frostfern94 bro 💀
After training someone at my former workplace, I tried to say “good work” and “good job today” at the same time, what came out was “good job worm”
I think this has made me laugh harder than anything on here
oh god your poor trainee
"Good job, worm. I'm god."
@@lovelylow69 ayo
Oh my goodness 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm laughing my head off at this and agree with the other commenter this is the funniest one so far
So proud of the worm for getting a job
When working in fast food, I tried to tell an old lady "have a great day" and "have a good one" at the same time and ended up wishing her "have a good gay"
I once tried to tell a friend who thought she looked bad “you look so good” and “it’s not that bad”. what came out? “you look so bad”
thanks
Tip: Next time that happens, (Not if, when.) Play it off as sarcasm.
I’ve definitely said “your problem!” multiple times. I also once told a customer “your turtle is $17.42” instead of “total” and we had a good laugh lol
wow that's a cheap turtle!
@@HuMan-bEing132 39 buried, 0 found
had you said that in the UK, they would've understood it as "total" no problem
🐢
@@victorvirgili4447 you're pointless!
My sister was being annoying as all hell once when I was cooking rice-a-roni and started badgering me with questions
"What flavor is it? When's it gonna be done?"
And I was so pent up with anger I screamed "CHICKEN MINUTES" in unfiltered hatred and rage and she and mom just looked at me. It was so ridiculous that we burst into laughter after a moments silence
Why is this so funny
LMAO 😂😂 love this!!
I should embroider that on something
i know im a year late to the party, but this would be FUCKIGN HILARIOUS to see re-enacted; so long as every actor in it goes full ham
Even a year later this comment is hilarious
I was in two different conversations. I was trying to explain to someone how the Pope becomes the Pope, and another just to my friends. I was in the middle of a sentence about the Pope, and was thinking in my head for my next response in my other conversation, that had the word “loop” in it. I ended up blurting out “poop of the Catholic Church!”
A few months ago I was reading a book out loud and I tried to say "Bone breaking" in response to a situation that was happening in the story and I ended up saying "Thats Brain boking!"
I tried to say "center of gravity" and "center of mass" at the same time, ended up with "center of grass," kept saying it throughout my explanation, before realizing I was saying it
Technically, the center of grass is somewhere close to the core of the earth
oop
What was their reaction
CENTER OF GRASS LMAO
@@IntrovertedGoose gay profile picture
One time I tried to say "ah, shit," except halfway through it, I thought it'd be even funnier if I said frick instead. But then, halfway through _that,_ I thought it'd be even _funnier_ if I were to say heck.
I ended up saying "Ah, Shrek."
Noice
Me when Shrek
You may have blurted out the future langauge when shrek 5 comes out
@@Suspectdabbed I'm a prophet
@@slavishentity6705 PLS THREE WORDS YOU SAID THREE WORDS and i think i peed my pants real funny keep it up bbg
Yesterday, I spilled pasta sauce on my hands, and in my distressed state, I just said "Jaa, fucking dahmn it" and me and my sister were just silent laughing in the kitchen over my gibberish 🤣
One time I tried to say "excuse me" and "coming through" at the same time and said "Come me"
I’m quite literally crying laughing from this video, I’m pretty sure 95% of the hilarity is purely how comedicly Matt says the lines.
Ikr
I think the accent helps too.
The Slut one made me shed a tear (almost said leaf lol)
@@christiangomez5855 same, thats gotta be awful, accidentally calling someone a slut.
NO BAD NO BAD
My dad once gave me a lift to meet a friend for coffee but he dropped me off way too early. He then tried to say " you can always kill some time" and "just lose yourself for a bit" but what he actually said was "you can always kill yourself"
Lol my goodness, Kath! I nervously laughed at while reading that..
Gosh, the "At" shouldn't be there
pretty sure one of the staff at the loony bin told me this
(side note loony bin as a joke term not trying to offend lol)
I love "you can always", like it's a common option for when you get bored.
My brain after any minor inconvenience occurs:
My friend was telling me a story about how one of her idiot boyfriends at the time had been messing around in the street, and I cut her off near the end and said, "let me guess, he got ran over by a pancake, flattened like a car" She stared at me, asked if I meant to say that, and then we both started cackling once I realized what I said.
Bro the way it took me a minute to realize what was wrong-
I wasn't trying to say two things at the same time, but something similar happened to me. I was in Paris for a weekend school trip and were allowed to go shopping unsupervised. I do French in school so knew more French than most of my friends, so I spoke to the people in shops when my friends bought stuff. It all went fine in this one shop until I tried to say "Bonne journée" which means have a good day, but got confused because just saying day is "jour".
I ended up saying
"Bonjour!" And walking out confidently.
I have a history with these kinds of misspeakings. For example, once in music theory class, I tried to say "flip flat and sharp." This resulted in me tentatively and carefully uttering the phrase "flip.... flap.... shart." My teacher didn't even say anything about it.
Dude the absolutely ungodly snort that just left my body
that sounds legendary
my favorite note is F shart
I'm laughing my butt off
I once asked when my dads work shift would start but I got start and shift mixed up and…
@@CoingamerFL E flap for me
my favourite one of these i read is someone walked into a library, couldn't decide between "i have to pay a fine" and "i have to pay a fee" (it was a few cents)--they said "i have to pee," slapped $5 on the counter, and walked out
This just made me croak💀
I'm dying
I'm literally wheezing like a hyena over here :')
I can just imagine that 💀
I remembered that one!
One time my dog went in front of me and wouldn't move so i tried to say "Go on" but also ran into my dad at the same time so i tried to say "excuse me" but then just ended up blurting out "Go excuse". I think both of our brains hadn't really registered what i said until i said "Er- excuse me"
Also i just wanted to say i haven't laughed like this for a long time. I was practically choke-laughing by the end of this. You have my respect.
I was telling my little sister about one of my cats one time. The cat's name is Rebel/ Simba, so I tried to say both at the same time and said "His name is Symbol!"
why does your cat have two names??
@@laughsingay no idea
@@laughsingay it could be a nickname
I've learned to avoid playing doubles tennis because whenever my partner does something well, I'll try and say "nice shot" and "nice hit" at the same time, and without fail I end up saying "nice shit!"
IM CHOKING ON AIR
Sneak laxatives into their drink so that the statement makes sense
i laughed so hard i almost fell out of my chair and banged my head on the wall
if it had been "good shit" it'd be acceptable
I love english
Oh no it's the turd burglar
A teacher was likely trying to say “Don’t go in threes” and “don’t block the hallway” and ended up saying, audibly to all present students, “don’t have a threeway”. It’s a shame I had to hear this story secondhand.
What about a 4 way
@@oibruvmoment or to keep it traditional, a 2way?
@@sheiladesnoo8649 and the onesone
@@oibruvmoment that's just someone jacking off
@@oibruvmoment just stay away from it in general and have a zerosome
As some background for this, I have ADHD so sometimes I forget when I've done things in my daily routine, so occasionally I'll tell someone I've done a task immediately after I've done it. One day, I went up to my mother to say something about having brushed my teeth or that we need new toothpaste or something and all that came out was a very long pause followed by me saying the word "teeth" in an incredibly worrying tone.
…………………………………………teeth
..
teeth 😰
Just yesterday I was in an argument so I tried to say “shut up” and “ f^ck you” at the same time. Ended up saying “f^ck up” in a dead serious tone of voice 😂
That’s autological, since it describes itself.
I've got one that literally just happened:
My friends said they wanted to go for a walk whilst I wait for my food, and one of them felt bad for leaving me. I tried to say "Go, spread your wings" and "Go, stretch your legs" at the same time and ended up saying
_"Go, spread your legs"..._
A while ago in New Zealand they were loosening some coronavirus restrictions and the politician making the announcement made exactly the same mistake. A classic.
it has the perfect amount of likes
edit: aw man
Did they do it?
@@SavouryGalette I'm not sure I want to find out.
😳
Reminds me of the one time I was arguing with someone, and I wanted to say "I have" and "I am" and angrilly shouted "I HAM!" Argument ended right there as we both burst out laughing.
I SWEAR I HAVE DONE THIS TOO! 🤣🤣
That moment when a argument suddenly changes into laughing or a talk about cats 🐈
@@LazyParakeet 😆😆😆
@@LazyParakeet my brain read the Emoji as a cat meowing
He ham💀
I tried to say “Is september next week?” And “My birthday is in September” at the same time and really forcefully said “IS NEXT WEEK MY BIRTHDAY”
Once I was telling ny grandmother a story, she waved her hand infront my face while I was mid sentence. The sentence came out as "because I was high??" Was extremely embarrassing because I've spent my entire teen years trying to convince my family I had absolutely no interest on drugs, weed, alcohol ect
my sister was playing pingpong with my dad, and he scored on her with some fancy twist. She tried to say "nice shot!" and "nice hit!" at the same time...
i hear from the other room "NICE SH** DAD!!!!"
Strangely wholesome???
That's even better
I once tried to tell my friend that I had snowflake earrings but then I accidentally switched the two words and was about to say that I had earflake snowrings but I caught it mid sentence so what came out was “I HAVE EAR FLAKES”.
This has the same energy as 'ah, my fart cone'
I HAVE EARFLAKES
friend: you What?
Sounds like a cereal 🗿
I actually have itchy flaky things on my ears lmao
yeah that tends to happen with dry scalp syndrome
I once said “have a nice day!” and “enjoy your food!” And guess what came out..? HAVE A NICE FOOD
I once tried to say Melanie and Martinez at the same time, came out as "Melinez".
When I started my first job as a cashier, I went to ask "Credit or debit?" And I just asked "Crebit?" and the customer was like tf bc I couldn't stop laughing 😂😂 shit still cracks me up
that reminds me of that one alien comic
@@bandonawagon7574 Yeah I know which one, I saw it a while back and it reminded me of when I did this lol
@@bandonawagon7574 dedit?
@@varahunter68 subdedit
mmmmmmmm yes crebit
Tried to say "bad luck" and "good effort" to a teammate, who had just dropped a catch, I ended up saying: "bad effort" to the poor, now sad individual.
😥
"bad effort"- why is this the one I'm giggling at 💀
@@blumbles_ I dunno, but I felt super bad, cause it wasn't their only dropped catch that game. XD, the look of devastation they gave me. Haunts me 2-3 months later.
Poor guy.
Once i was handing a customer there tea and accidentally ended up shouting “ ENJOY YOUR EARL GAY”
Me and my friend got into a “no it isn’t, yes it is” argument, but it went on too long and my brain got melted and blurted out “yes it isn’t”
I remember when I tried to say "I love potatoes " and "did you order the food?" and I said "did you potatoed?" 💀✋
Well did you?
@@Tapioca.pearlss we'll never know
Did you?
I like mashed potatoes
What's _that_ supposed to mean?
One time I tried saying “I’m sitting” and “I’m squatting” at the same time but ended up saying “I’m squirting”. And what made this even more embarrassing was that I said this to my Aunt 🙃
oh no grandma susan is squirting
@@udfdsfrgfdrgfd oh yes grandma susan is squirting
@@char5379 😢
Lmao 😂 imagine if you were a man, you are a woman right?, it would be even worse 😂
@@experienceexperte3096 Its a terrible image no matter who says it
I remember I once tried saying "I'm leaving" and "bye" at the same time, and I said "I'm bi" and my friend said "No, I'm the bi one, you're lesbian" she's not wrong though.
I loved this comment
I did the same except with hi so it sounded like I said I’m high
reminds me of the time my boy best friend asked me “are you lesbian” and “why are you gay” (he had a crush on me ig) but just ended up saying “why gay lesbian you’re” then one of his friends can up behind us and looked him dead in the eye and said, “no she f^cks pans too” (she’s pan+she f^cks guys too)
Definitely need a part 2, I laughed wayyyyy more than I should have. Had to actually pause so I didn’t spill out my drink