Lady who has a Bible Verse for Every Situation
Vložit
- čas přidán 29. 04. 2017
- Everyone has an aunt that does this. John Crist describes a lady at the mall who has a Bible Verse for every situation.
For more videos, bio and live tour schedule, visit www.johncristcomedy.com - Komedie
"Man's original sin, Microsoft only for me " 😂🤣
Guess Apple isn't a job well done in God's eyes. Smh
*Me when my apple using friends try to get me to buy a mac*
Well, we don’t know if it was an apple or not- it’s just referred to as the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil
jnthn it wasn’t an apple we know this because the Bible says that the garden of eden is hidden therefore I would believe the fruit of knowledge is still hidden in the garden.
jnthn yea apples didn’t taste good until the mid 1800’s. before apples tasted bitter and were only used for cider
Wow, I didn't know my mom did CZcams videos...
My mom quotes verses too
sameeee
Sameeeeeeeeee
Shes a good mommy u should really appreciate her
What, are you Sheldon Cooper or something?
Ya know, I wonder what everyone else in the mall is thinking
I mean, he’s just screaming bible verses to himself 😂
Actually he's screaming to some million people through the camera.
These videos are unique exactly because of it. I imagine myself seeing him recording one of those videos in a public place.
I'm thinking the same thing.
As a current mall employee, I can assure you we have observed much more peculiar behavior than people talking to a camera and reciting bible verses 😬😅
@@becs571 Oh my. This is why I prefer deserted places.
I wanted to like your comment but it had 777 and I didhn't want to change that so will come back later lol 😃
Never thought there were Christian memes but......here we are.....
I hope you've discovered r/dankchristianmemes since making this comment.
This is the Internet
Get used to it
Christopher Moulton it’s ironic because you have 666 likes when talking about christ
There's a Facebook page called Memes For Jesus. It's pretty great.
Also, there's the Babylon Bee
@@StrickenWithFear Thank you for this gift.
One day at work I asked a lady if she wanted to sign up for a reward card and she said “my reward is in heaven”. I was like “so....is that a no?”
Hannah C 💀😂💀😂
Yasssss
🤣🤣🤣
💀
Gold
I feel like every southern family has at least one of these.
Or a mexican family trust me we have those
Or a Hispanic family, TRUST ME
Or 5
Yes.
Olivia Peralta Thankfully I don’t but I do have a homophobic aunt Who at least writes been once a month about the reason why she’s disowning me lol
Every biblical reference in order:
Proverbs 16:9
Proverbs 3:5
Proverbs 4:23
Hebrews 12:1
Romans 8:28
Isaiah 40:30-31
Psalm 139:14
Esther 4:14
Psalm 55:22
Matthew 11:28
Proverbs 27:17
Deuteronomy 8:3
Genesis 3:6
1 Corinthians 10:13
Matthew 6:20
Matthew 6:13
John 8:7
2 Corinthians 5:17
Psalm 23:6
Philippians 1:6
Walt Reynolds IMPRESSIVE !
wow
You’re awesome God bless you :)
You lordy lordy lordy nerd. Thanks.
Wow 🤩 💯
“Uh no thank you, I don’t need any skin care samples, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” 😂
Molly McDonald Yep but acne...
I'm fine with my acne, y'all 😂
ive never met a lady who has a bible verse for every situation but now i want to be one
Me too! Let's study to show ourselves approved and hide God's Word in our hearts!!!
Jean Valjean you missed the point.......
It's frankly extremely annoying!
I knew i'd find you, 24601!
Jean Valjean lol
Look at all this baggage! No thank you, I have left my burden at the cross!
bubba gump XD
I am weak😂😂 - but he is my strength
My fav one
That's how I feel about going on a weekend trip with a carry-on, checked bag, and a receipt for an overweight 😂😂😂
bubba gump I'd capitalize anything that's about God and Jesus The Christ😁😇!😇I'm a CHRISTIAN😇and😇 😇God bless😇But one shouldn't say "no, THANK YOU"! I know pain brings Father God Glory, and that it makes us stonger, but I wouldn't thank God for a burden, u know??
Me: isn’t religious
Also me: damn why do I want to have a backlog of these remembered so I can be ready to say them for any situation
Same
Same
'''man does not live by bread alone'' im stealing that shit
Jesus loves you 💗
@@loveistheway.2882 thank you😊
my dad literally says "Jerusalem" or "Israel" in every sentence.
he like:
"do your schoolwork to make the people of Jerusalem happy."
"it's because of your bad grades that the walls of Jericho collapsed."
I’m so sorry lol. My parents were bad but not THAT bad
@Ian he's usually joking but sometimes its serious lol
"Its because of your bad grades the wall of Jericho fell" lmao that's deep😂😂😂😂😂
@@otobong1476 hella deep 😤
"it's because of ur bad grades that the walls of jericho falls" _flex tape can't fix that_
“There’s Starbucks thank heavens streams in the desert” HAHA so good
Rebecca Ly more like we avoid Starbucks like the bubonic plague because it “goes against our morals”
No not really Starbucks fish deity is not of Yahuah.
"All who are weary, I will give you rest...he without sin cast the first stone' 😂😂😂 oh my, my stomach hurts
Afungang Music that part made me laugh so much
Afungang Music God is not mocked.
"I will dwell in the Nestle Tollhouse of the Lord forever." LOLLLLL 😂🤣
Nice pfp ||-// 🌻✨💛
😂😂😂😂🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫amen
😂🤣
😂😂😂
That's my favorite one!! 😁😄
This is my mother every second of every day
Same here 😀😂👏🏽
😂
You should show her this
YEP. Mine too. A little white polish catholic jew turned Christian from Philadelphia.
monikag1323 So GREAT So SWEET
"Look at all this baggage- no thank you I have left my burdens at the cross" 😂
That one really cracked me up.🤣
payless is having a sale lead me not into temptation
Anime Life I’m your 666th like btw just saying
Šämmï no sins with me in the way
That accent is very specific 😂
These are like the Christian puns😂😂
christian dad jokes.
It's like name dropping, only scripture dropping.
Thank you for finally putting a name to it
"Man does not live on bread alone"😂😂😂PREACH
Preach it sister!
I need to up my ‘Bible verse for every situation’ game. I’m almost there but not quite. He got it 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I must focus and stay constant🤣😂
This makes me realize there’s a scripture verse for everything-praise God!
Amen🙏✝️
"Look at all this baggage. No thank you, I have left my burdens at the cross." I love it lol
Adam Johnson cool songs bro
This is hilarious and a joyful heart makes good medicine (Proverbs 17:22)
sigh824 Yasss! 😁
Hahahahaha
sigh824 yes
sigh824 lol!
sigh824 amen
When he said “Payless is having a sale - Lead me not into temptation” I felt that 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
Danged shame they went out of business!😢😂
Familes who have this aunt according to the comments:
People from the Southern US
Ethiopians
Hispanic people
Most black families
Filipino people
Germans
Utahns
LDS people
Lebanese
Nigerians
Polish people*
Indian Syrian-Christians
Add Nigerians /Africans
And Kenyans
I was not expecting to see the Germans, clearly Hitler did have this Aunt
Um. I must be your aunt. Because I have become this woman.
Pamela bebe girl me too
Yeah, I was relating. What a sad sorry lot .
Pamela Haynes In Alliance with Jesus Christ Pamela! I used to watch your channel! Thank you for your videos! I hope you are doing well. God bless you sister!
Nice!
I think its awesome!
"Look at all this baggage. No thank you. I have left my burdens at the cross." Lmfaoooooooooo!!!
This is literally my grandmother.
🤣🤣🤣
As someone from Texas, I know like 3 people exactly like this
John Crist: Ye who are not in Christ shall cast the first stone
😂😂
Same. I hear bible stuff SO much at work
"Thank heavens! Streams in the desert!" is me every single time I see a Starbucks. I admit it openly.
"Look at these watches, 'for such a time as this'." xD Oh my goodness.....
"Oh Zales, absolutely not. My treasure's in heaven." Bruh 😂😂😂 I'm WEAK
Anyelys Rivera 😂
This person would be pretty aggravating to shop with lol. Imagine of they did that at every single storefront
I remember my Grandma, on her knees by her bedside every evening, head bowed, saying her prayers softly. I knew she wasn’t talking to me because only her Savior could hear her. She never seemed to mind the pain in her knees.
What makes me really sad is that youre basically talking to yourself. Like its powerful in expression but realistically, god is on the same level as fairies, unicorns and leprechauns. Imagine if every prayer was instead a physical action of a helpful nature? 😍😍 show me that world Pls
when you look at the beauty of seeing hills for miles, or the greenery of a bright sunny day. Who else could of created it but the Lord. The beyond vast life at the floors of the ocean. How intricate each organism is..So much proof. That its impossible to think that simply the "Big Bang" could of been the start to it. An explosion of a "speck of dirt"? Who to have articulated that first dirt science could never explain truly.. Realize.
And the bible is a whole other story. Outwordly. & By all means, sacred, for even verses are coming true, with scary precise. The Revelations .. He will not know your soul, if you do not know him.. He loves you so I hope you see it. Sorry for the craziness but it's true, so I hope you joke
@@JadeJewels the bible is just another fabrication of humans. There's countless religious texts, but there's nothing to substantiate anything in those texts. If i wrote a book about Myself having created the word, the earth, and the universe would you bow before me? Please put your efforts into this life. There is no afterlife. There is no god.
Is there something miraculous or beautiful about tuberculosis, cancer, scoliosis, ect. Pompeii? You have to cherry pick pretty hard to subscribe to the idea of any god having any degree of control over our realities. If your god is legitimate, why won't they appear to convince me? Must be beyond your gods capability 😅
@@voidhog1028 Ok 👍. I guess I shouldnt persist. Maybe we'll know when we are dead. But You'll know if you were to face a demon. Something to defy logic, to contort a face, and bang my wall. Then is what brought me to know out of fear, that if theres a Satan, then theres a God. Call it schizophrenia if you choose, but how can it be if just at the same moment others saw and heard the same thing too.
@@lorioz2353 look at whats happening in Missouri and Alabama. These beliefs hurt people. They've personally affected me. You cannot rationally say the world is 6,000 years old, or that everything happens because god intended it. Does that count for crimes, or assaults? Its seriously horrifying how radical religious beliefs can get.
Showed some of you videos to my parents, who are agnostic, non-believers, and they laughed their heads off. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share my faith with my parents, in a fun way :)
Liam Nicholas
I'm agnostic and I laughed because it was funny how much each verse fit the situation
It’s because we know of that person with the Bible verse for everything 😄
That's great!
It's great that you are a beloved keep strong in the word
Your parents are agnostic and you are christian?
0:39 I thought he was gonna say "My comforter, my all in all."
Lindy Baker
🤣😂
Finally now I understand what Sunday school was for
Living in the south, I have friend's moms/grandmas that say these things all the time. It's great
So going to the mall could be a new way to study scripture?
Kate's Free. Apparently. He needs to come up with one for the cinema complex and food court.
it's embarrassing how many times i've watched this 😂
jadaayebae I just watched this for the first time this morning & I believe that I have watched this as of right now approximately 30-40 times. This is hilarious, if you don't take yourself too seriously 😒
jadaayebae am watching it again
me too lol actually a good way to remeber verses 😂 and a good portion of them in this video lol
"I will dwell in the Nestle Toll House if the lord forever"
I'm dead
Chocolate Mafia430 😂
It’s a privilege to live like this. I’m like this sometimes and I love it 🥰
I will dwell in the Nestle Toll house of the Lord forever!
😂😂
Jeremy Vickers Amen to that brother!
Me too! Amen
Jeremy Vickers i will leave my burden at the cross before I join to dwell with you
Jeremy Vickers. That was probably my favorite in the entire video.
Hahah "Man shall not live by bread alone". xD
Vihan Damaris XD
Vihan Damaris haha love it!
I love how it’s a southern church lady and she finds a giant hat.
"Microsoft only" 😂😂
I'm in love! This is hilarious and honestly now I talk just like this, which has really helped me out with my pesky cursing issue. It's legit almost gone.
I feel you!
Monique Brown heyyyy!! That's awesome
Now you are only cursing the non believers
Great job Monique! ✨💪👑✨✨☝👑
Praise the Lord
"Spencer's Gifts? Mm-mm -- guard your heart." 😏
I feel like this is me. Shopping is like a spiritual experience!
FACTS
why is this my mom
Robin Doyle 69 likes
Robin Doyle same !!
Anyone else love how he's uploading more frequently!?
Eric Champlin Yup. He's hilarious!
No.
I’ve been looking for this video forever and I literally had to look up “guy saying bible verses in mall” to find it XD
Why do i hear sheldon's mother ;d
👌
😂😂😂
Thank you😂
Me too
Sheldon's mother is AWESOME
my grandma is sorta like this lady....which is good....
You're one of thee most hilarious people I have ever seen!! Perfect vid for a study break, I can go back to studying now :D
I am proud that my Christian school teachers made me memorize Bible verses for this moment XD
“I will dwell in the (Nestle Toll) House is the Lord FOREVER.”
Love this comedian....it's so good to laugh...the joy of the Lord is my strength.😂😂😂😂
BRUUUUUHHH 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This was hilarious! But honestly, this is a bomb way to remember your scriptures! I've said 90% of these just going about my day...I'll become this woman very soon lol
Me:*breathes*
My Grandma:
😂😂
This will never get old😂
I'm actually dying, after the first show I saw you in with Tim Hawkins I've fallen in love with your comedy oh Howie loves us
When you realize that YOU'RE that person 😂
Love the material...one thought to add...pause for just a moment between each line...they are so good, but as you run them together it’s hard to enjoy one when another comes at you...love all the stuff...”praise the Lord for you and your humor”...”you are God’s gift” 😎
Man will not live by bread alone.
Love how these little bits are taken out of context and reused in these scenarios. It is very funny.
"Look at all this baggage, no thank you. I have left all my burdens at the cross"
"Man does not survive on bread alone"
i dont want any skin care products because I am fearfully and wonderfully made hahahahahhaah. i kennat
Love your comedy! I got one you can use for the mall shopping "And be not fashioned according to this world..." Romans 12:2 ASV
LOL
!
I know this is actually kind of a good thing but this is flat out my grandma 😂😂
"Hey Adam you want to take a bite of this? mm mm man's original sin, Microsoft only for me thank you" LOLOL you are hilarious!!! #Recentsubscriber
Dominique I know how many times I have seen this part!!!!!
Very well done. The reality is that the Bible does give us a way out for any situation. It also teaches us to be thankful, the Starbucks seen is one great example... I think!!
Dominique I think Eve already took a bite, will Adam? LOL
Dominique I luv the baggage thing tho fr
I am loving you . . . keep up the clean humor.
Christian Gonzalez yes, it is So hard to find clean humor these days!
Christian Gonzalez ikr!
I'm slowly turning into this person.
sammmeee
Grandma? Is that you?
"Hey adam wanna take a bight of this?"
"mm mm. Mans original sin Microsoft only"
Who comes up with these?! 😂😂😂
Pickle Snickelfritz He does apparently. 😂
I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!! "Thank you, Jesus, for this parking place."
"I will dwell in the Nestle Toll House forever." Amazing! Love it!
The beginning of Ghost Busters played in the background at the end. Someone better call the boys, the Holy Ghost went shopping
Oh my Lord!
Such a time as this!!! On the watches lol these are simply bad puns lol hilarious.
That looks eerily like The Galleria in Houston. And if it is, this video has gotten 100x better.
That's what I said too! I am pretty sure it is the Galleria. At 1:07, you can see the water feature, and earlier there was the corner on the 3rd floor where the Starbucks is and the Rug Baazar
STOPPP MY ATHEIST FRIENDS SENT ME THIS SAYING IT’S ME AND I’M SCREAMING. I CANT HELP IT. SEVEN YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL DOES IT TO YOU 😭😭😭
12th year of Catholic school and not at all like this, guess I can’t graduate 🤷♂️
I can hear the " bless your heart" from a mile away
"Streams in the desert" for Starbucks is more like "Desert in your pocketbook" after you buy their expensive coffee!
Came here to say i witnessed this happen in the wild the other day. Lady asked the target employee where the hangers for clothes were when they were literally in front of her and the target employee gestured to them. She then proceeded to say “ahhh good ol Matthew 7:7, Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” God helped her find those clothes hangers that day i guess
I love how much Scripture you have to know to put this video together.
THIS IS ME AND IM ONLY 16 IM SLOWLY BECOMING THE LADYS WHO KNIT DURING WEDNESDAY BIBLE STUDY
can you knit or crochet?
Don't ever lose it honey. I'm 21 and the same way. It's great to have the Word of God within your system like that
That’s adorable and truly keep it up!
Mana in the desert, John, mana in the desert
Hraefncin He sound like every single BAPTICOGISTOLIC black nana AFTER church...chilren MAMA is NOT HAVING IT
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
PretzelBunny yes you are SUGA & DONT YOU 4GET IT
My grandma is like this and honestly she’s a blast to hang out with 😂
You are now one of my all-time favorite comedians. Almost got sucked into a binge watch on your channel, but then remembered I have work to do. You are delightful. Thank you for all your hard work. Thank you.😂
I'm LITERALLY IN TEARS 😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Zales? I don't think so my treasure in Heaven😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😩 bruuuhhhhhhhhh in ded. No im not bc I will live and not die and declare His great works! 😭😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Lana P lmaooooooooo I screamed when he said that 😂😂😂😂😂
Buahahaha!!! You should have your own Vlog!!!
mhm
The funny thing is those of us who grew up in church know people like this or have even moments like these ourselves... Labor Day sale at Macy’s!! The wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous! 😂😂
This is literally my mom, can’t wait to hear her quote about ten of these when I come out...
fluffy ice thank you very much, u made my day 🥰💛
Come where
Weyard Wiz come out, as in come out of the closet. Which means to reveal something about yourself that you have been hiding. Generally speaking it is referring to either your sexuality or gender. :)
@@mattnelson9010
why are you hiding in the closet? Why not a different place?
The truth shall set you free, but your mom might confuse the fruit of your tree: Galatians 5:22 for Galatians 5:21...
Laughed all the way through these!! Always a great job John! I was trying to guess the verse you were going to use before you said it, i didn't get many, i'll tell you that! lol
DUDE IM PRAYING FOR A MAN LIKE YOU
You don't wanna be unequally yoked.
Still my fave! Saw him live and loved it 👏👏👏
I remember when this was played on our TVs here in Kenya...that was some time back but I still remember.
I'm going to have to quoting these ever my time I go shopping ! Awesome job. I laughed way to hard at this. Great job