8 Toxic Things Parents Say To their Children
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2023
- If you're a parent or caretaker of children, it's important to be aware of the toxic family words that are spoken to children. These words can have a detrimental effect on children's development and can lead to emotional abuse. Join us in this video as we discuss 8 toxic family words and their effects on our children!
Writer: Mia El
Editor: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Lesly Drue
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
Want to collaborate with us? With writing, research, editing or drawing? Reach out here:
editorial@psych2go.net
every child deserve a parent, but not every parents deserve a child.
So true
Facts man
True facts
No one chose who their parents are.
@@MiriadCalibrumAstarbro my mother is just compare my younger brother with me. And now I hate everything. I have psychological issues.
It's very sad that some parents puts their children's grades and performances in schools before their own mental health.
You mean most if not a huge majority?
unless.. thats just mine
@@Sky_Dragon_OwOW pfp, kinda L user
@@purplek1rblthanks but what is yours😛💀
I know. It sucks.
the sad part is having a parent that doesn’t say it straight to your face, but says it in a clearly backhanded way. complaining about children asking for basic needs, not calling you ugly but saying that you shouldn’t wear that shirt, threatening to run away, prioritizing their emotions over yours, calling you lazy or unproductive, caring more about your education rather than your health, not keeping promises, getting annoyed when you finally decide to open up, victimizing themselves saying “i’m the worst parent ever”, talking highly about other people’s children then talking negatively about you, pressuring you to get only high grades in school, and so much more. i feel like these insults being said in a backhanded way just hits differently, and i feel like many kids fail to notice that this is emotional abuse. the thought of saying my parent has emotionally abused me is so hard to accept, because they’re my parent and of course i want to love them. but there should be boundaries to what is said to a child, especially at a young age.
Exactly. It's exactly this backhanded way of complaining or saying their mind is just .. what so annoys me to no end cuz like I always thought to myself: "look, if u want, u can just *fucking* leave. No one's stopping u." But of course I could never say that straight to their face, cus that'll just come off as uncaring (and truth be told, I really already feel uncaring when talking to my parents)
@@Xyren8449 literally; it’s like we’re stuck in this middle ground where we can’t tell them fully how we feel because we care for them but we also can’t keep up with this stuff, because its ruining our health.
@@svfthyuneyeah and having to (at least for me) put up this charade of this 'ideal child' who always listens, respects and obeys their parents is just beyond me already. Like they've lost my respect a long time ago, and probably any kind of love they'll get from me is when I'm worried during their arguing with either me or my family cuz I've practically just emotionally numb myself
I feel you man
Couldn't have said it better myself. It was always the little comments that really got to me. I don't remember exactly what happened but there was a point when I just stopped telling my mom anything for fear of her reaction. And nowadays when I try to explore with her why I'm unhappy she gets all weird and starts going on about how she's an awful mom. Like I'm clearly not saying that. I just see things differently now and yeah, I think she may have been a little toxic.
Timestamps 😊
1:12 offensive words towards their appearance
1:40 provocative questions towards actions
2:11 selfish wishes
2:47 making the child feel like a burden
3:19 unhealthy comparisons
3:51 verbally abusive words or statements
4:09 threatening abandonment
4:34 empty promises
Hope this helps and I am glad my parents are not like this.
My hero 🥺
My parents are EXACTLY like that 😢
Thank you!
Is it bad that all of that has happened a ton of times?
i wonder what its like to have parents that arent like this
Dads, tell your kids you're sorry when you screw up.
Tell your kids you love them. Tell them often. It's not awkward, it's normal.
Tell your kids that you're proud of them. Tell them often.
My dad was emotionally and mentally abusive. He was the most negative influence on my life. I never heard a good thing from him. 46 years on, I'm still struggling with the damage he did.
Dads reading this, please strive to be a good dad always.
I think what's also really bad for a childs psyche is when parents talk bad about their own appearance in front of the child. It will later judge it's body for the same reasons as their parent, which can easily lead to EDs for example
8/8. I've tried to talk to my parents about all the abuse. They never listen. People, if you're in a toxic and abusive relationship, try to talk to the person/people. If they don't want to listen, escape this relationship and cut all contacts. If you tried talking, but they don't listen, don't rely on hope because you'll end up hurt. It's better to cut all contacts than to live in toxicity and to be unhappy and unfulfilled your whole life.
Thats quite the rather mature approach the situation, completely agree.
Confronting and getting closure on the reasons can be saving to leave those on the past.
i feel like this is the move for me, i got all these and my religious and cultural beliefs go completely against my mother and those too of my father (although he passed away), i don't think she would ever like me if she knows the real me, heck she doesn't like the fake me who hides his thoughts and feelings. i'm sorry you went through that and thank you for the advice
I remember hearing, "I wouldn't recommend having children" and being compared to my cousins
I relate to so many of these, unfortunately. Your channel helped me realise how toxic my parents are
Same 👍
I feel the same, but don't forget it's not always their fault. They probably also went through many things that made them behave that way, it's hard to notice if the people around you are also toxic when you grow up. It's not okay... at least we can be different 😖
Thanks for the message. How has it been living with parents who might be toxic? Have you had a chance to speak with someone regarding your parents such as a counselor?
@@Psych2go it’s hard sometimes. They’re not the worse parents out there, I still love them and they love me, but whenever I try to talk about them about this type of stuff they shut me down. I feel like they can’t understand 😞 I have considered counseling, maybe even therapy, but haven’t put much thought into it
I also have considered counseling and also tried at the school counsellor but she herself isn't really effective of my past and problems. They are also very toxic. I hope ur situation improves
I definitely felt a number of these, and felt a number that weren’t shown, including
- Critical of the child’s interests
- Threats of prospects in life
- Anger with no discussion/reconciliation afterwards
There’s a lot that my sister and I discussed recently that shows how abhorrently toxic our upbringing was, but I’ve been more than blessed that the people in my life have helped me break out from under all that weight
I feel the last one too
Don’t forget “forcing kids to hide how they want to express themselves out of fear that they will be ridiculed”.
Frfr same here
The threats of prospects in life are real though. If you don't do anything yourself, you'll end up depending on the government, on others or homeless. If all you can do is watch videos, then what's the point?
I had a difficult childhood, but it wasn't (only) because of my abusive father; it was because of the circumstances. My wife and I are trying to keep the latter as stable as possible and not so any of the former, but it doesn't mean, that we don't have particular opinions on things.
We don't scold our daughter for no reason, we always explain (as a child my father didn't and I hated it). And I wish we had the luxury of her being interested in many things; she's usually not interested in anything. I blame it on smartphones and the Internet (and I am a software engineer, who's doing computer stuff all the time), but taking it away won't help for long, which is why we talk and try to convince and most of the time it works.
@@andreimircea2254Omg that's been happening to me lately, I remind myself not to talk too much because of my mom's response but her way of dealing her anger is not very effective anyways although from internet clues that's probably the mayority of people
"Why cant you be more like your sister ?" -my dad Caused me to be jealous of my own sister for 6 plus years. Thank God we are best friends now.
this is so wholesome
I'm glad you've maintained a relationship with your sister. I don't understand WHY parents think it's okay to say something like this to their own children. 😞😓
Dad decided to run off with my acting stepmother in 2006, after having an affair with her for at least half a year. I say acting as they aren't married, but they are long-term partners.
My Dad told me at 21 whilst he was drunk that my younger sister was the only planned child. My younger brother and I weren't planned, with me in particular being the result of a drunken, dirty accident on Mum and Dad's first wedding anniversary. It took me YEARS to put that thought to bed. The fact he'd revealed on Christmas Eve that year that he was leaving Mum for my acting stepmother didn't help. It HURT.
Mum told us that none of us were planned, and none of us were "dirty accidents," as my Dad had said. We were "happy unplannings" and all loved.
Dad has apologised for saying it, but it still caused a lot of pain, not just for me, but my brother too (for a while, my brother had a depressive funk, and had blurted out after he got tipsy, "I'm an accident. Dad said that!" 😢) You can't totally erase something like that from your thoughts.
Thankfully, our relationship with our sister (my younger and my brother's elder) remains strong. We won’t let Dad's words ruin that.
"Why cant you be a better father" ....i fought back with my toxic parents , it is not our fault they were toxic and i hope i can be a better parent
All these years i hated my sister… and now I realize she’s the the only one who really cares about me 😢
My parents did this and more to me and I just have to say it takes alot of strength and resiliency to really put the past behind you. Even I struggled with my issues for years until fairly recently and really grew as a person. But it takes work on yourself as a person and you have to be vigilant of your actions.
Quite true.
Stay strong and keep improving yourself, its worth.
same here...i'm going through it right now
Toxic comparations, verbal abuse, abandonment and empty promises are the most common toxic behaviours at parents in Romania. Every child was exposed to this at one in the their lives, including me.
My mom thought i was “weird” when i finally decided to be myself. It was after i graduated high school.
My parents also decided to send me to a school i never wanted to be at. I spiraled so bad and they didn’t care until things got REALLY bad for me.
Theres a term i learned called “conditional love” which i fear is what my mom has with me
This
Same here. Unfortunately, I felt like my mother would stop comparing me and start accepting me, only if I did what she says...💔
Me too, my mom made me got psychical trauma with compare me and my 2 cousin, my mom angry and disappointed about im a medium student 😔🥺😢
I always thought my parents didn't love me. when i saw my friend having fun and joking with his parents i didn't understand why their parents seemed so good and kind. I always thought "maybe I did something wrong" "maybe I said something that changed them"... in this video however I believe that I am not the problem... but they, who are not good parents and they do this to me every day...
Being young have something to your advantage, let other adults know your situation, even if those are the parents of your friend.
If you are powerless, rely in the strength of others and grow of it.
Power without wisdom is tyranny, but wisdom without power is stupidity.
I wish I had been adopted because my parents and siblings treated me horribly growing up. At the very least, I cut all family ties and no longer have a relationship with any of them. You get what you deserve
Sometimes you get adopted into toxic families too. I have a toxic mother so…
My parents do every single thing in the list. I´m 21 and they still do all of them since my childhood and it basically haven´t change. I´ve been seeing a therapist for the past 2 years and it´s always a struggle to talk about them. I can say I feel much better in the past years but there´s also so much ahead of me that I need to do to find a protection from them and express myself properly
Words can hurt a lot and not only if said to children.
The worst thing about mental abuse? Nobody can see it. Often times, nobody believes the victims either.
I highly relate to this
Oh god... I watched this video because I watch all psych2go videos, I have a healthy relationship with my parents and this video has almost made me cry. I can't imagine living like this I'm so very sorry for anyone who had a childhood like this
When i hear people say this, i realize some people have non toxic childhoods…
Watching this did make me cry.
Reminds me so much of when I was in high school. My mom took a real turn for the nasty after her mother (my grandmother) passed away, but there were always little inklings of negativity. I think her mother's death was just the catalyst for her not holding back. One of the most distinct moments I remember was from my senior year. I'd won a small scholarship -- and I mean really small; it was $500 funded by the Performing Arts Support Society, basically the parents of all the drama kids -- for an essay I wrote. I was one of a handful of students given an award on stage during a special ceremony held just for that: to honor students who had earned awards or scholarships their final year. One of my friends (who, last I checked, is working at NASA) got all kinds of scholarships because he was (and, arguably, still is) a certifiably genius. I was so happy for him. When I came off the stage to meet with my mom, the first thing she said to me was, "You could have done better." Still stings to this day, even though she's gone.
Pee on her grave
“You don’t deserve to be alive” *hurts the most*
Mainly watching this in case I do these things and hurt my child without even knowing it 💔
You sound like a parent that cares very much about you child. ❤
Same ❤
don't overprotect it, let it confront things slowly.
A tip from a overprotected kid.
Just don't be too lenient,
There's a fine line between being a good parent and not acknowledging the horrible choices and habits of your child.
Thanks for all of the feedback from everyone it means a lot to me. It's funny. I'm not even close to being a parent, but I will keep all of this in mind. Promise ❤️
Threatening to kick the child out of the house when they turn 18, or threatening to withdraw support or funding for education past high school, is also a form of "threatened abandonment". That was one of my dad's favorites, even for the most minor of infractions.
Also, "I don't know why I waste my time and effort on you."
My parents both of them went through childhood trauma and that cycle went towards my brother and sister..but not me.. I got away from those people.. love people afar and protect your peace
I am almost 40 and have 3 children, my first at 17. My "parents" certainly said it did a lot of things in this video routinely, the effects this has had on me 25-30 years later are harsh. However, I overcame.a.lot of this by having my own children and NOT repeating behaviors I experienced. The hardest one that still eats at my mind, body and soul to this day is when my "Mother" told me she wished she aborted me or gave me up for adoption. She told me this when I expressed at 17 that I would be a parent, following this her and my "father" kicked me out of their home. It was hell to overcome... I managed to struggle through, be what I believe to be an ok parent and now my oldest child is working hard to be better than I believe I ever could have been. My two younger children are on an even better road to greatness I believe as I have grown to be a better parent as I grow older.
Good luck out there. If it doesn't kill you, it gives you experience. Leve up, and keep going. Easy to say, hard to do... and I know, it can be really hard, I still struggle.
whenever i watch stuff like this, I always think of the anti-bullying stuff they said in school
"sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"
but words can do more damage than sticks and stones
I’m an adult, and my mother does more of these things now than she did when I was a child. Im able to ignore her most of the time, but it still has an effect on me sometimes.
Same here. Like a nightmare you can never escape.
Timestamps
1). Offensive words towards their appearance 1:09
2). Provocative questions towards actions 1:37
3). Selfish wishes 2:09
4). Making the child feel like a burden 2:44
5). Unhealthy comparisons 3:16
6). Verbally abusive words or statements 3:48
7). Threatening abandonment 4:06
8). Empty promises 4:31
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
My hero 🥺
@@silentlion_zer0562 thanks for the compliment 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you! And, I hope you have a nice day as well.
@@sava898 not a problem happy to help and I hope you have a nice day too 💙💙💙💙💙💙
💙💙💙💙 Thanks so much! 💙💙💙💙
I remember that as a kid that when my parents gave me emotional damage I would try to do the same to them (it only happened twice) anyways I see that there’s a new design I really love it
Not every parents deserve children
This video hits way too close to home. I relate to this and so many people in the comments section who have SO MUCH toxic waste in their lives. God, I hate my mum so much. If any of you take the time to read this, please know that you are loved. By me especially. Take care of yourself. Ok?
I actually had to pause this several times, 37 years old but all these brought me back to the time I was at my dad's and how he did ALL of these; things he has since denied but that I can't forget, hard to remove the memory of him saying to me (more than once) "I can't stand looking at you" among other things. There's a reason I finally went no contact with him and this reminds me why.
When I am reading a comment its makes me feels like that I am not the only one who feel or been through like this,thanks for this channel makes me better and sad for somehow
The empty promises one hits home for me. Because of that plus other factors I am not able to forgive my father no matter what; and I just want so badly to have the ability to cover my back on my own so that I can finally cut him out of my life for good.
I was lucky my mother was the opposite of him so I knew that he was in the wrong, and not something that happens to everyone.
If anyone here is a parent, please be emotionally there for your kids and try hard to remember what you said to them and keep it. From personal experience I can tell you that I would rather have had lived a poorer life than being neglected because one of the parent’s couldn’t focus on anything else but money.
For any would be parents out there: the last one talked about empty promises that hit home. Whenever I had broken a toy I would go running to my father, usually sobbing. He assured me he could fix it, every time, when really he would make the promises counting on me to forget. Unfortunately, I rarely forgot and to this day (in my 30s) remember those ridiculous toys and how I broke them. I still struggle to ask for help and if I’m not careful, I will experience immense shame for the slightest mistakes.
What I understand now is that I really wish my parents had used those moments as opportunities to teach me a) everyone makes mistakes b) sometimes accidents happen or things work out poorly and c) started helping me learn emotional regulation during the grieving process.
I get it. He wanted to be the hero, skip my emotional turmoil or some combination thereof. But I needed a parent more than an empty hero in that moment.
Wishing strength and resilience to all the new and prospective parents!
I can relate to half of these from my dad. And persistent neglect back then, which this channel has helped me realize recently.
I remember haveing a mental breakdown over a C+ In math. All my other grades were A's. My parent's were screaming at me for it. They said everything in this video. Everytime I got my grades back I would hope that they were all A's. I don't live with them now but. It still lives in the back of my mind. If I didn't do well for my parents then I would get screamed at agian even if I'm an adult.
I've been better about accepting that I'm not perfect but it's that one thing that comes up sometimes.
These 8 things (and probably countless more) most likely explain the smorgasbord of issues that I grew up with and have to sort through as an adult. It was not an easy journey but I currently find myself inching further away from where I used to be. I know that such abhorrent things were used on the parents/caretakers when they were kids themselves and that it's probably the only thing that they were familiar with when it comes to raising kids ( b/c it worked out soo well for them). Unfortunately, they're too stubborn and narrow-minded to see the damages they've inflicted.
As a parent, I always try to be mindful of how I say things. I don't see how anyone could think it's okay, to call a child ugly 😢 I have spoken to my eldest about food habits though. I've never called him fat, but I will set him aside and tell him it's not okay to eat loads of desserts daily etc because it can ingrain unhealthy habits that could cause his future self problems like diabetes. I see too many parents go the other direction on these sorts of issues too by saying nothing at all for fear of hurting a child's feelings, and that can be just as damaging.
This one was kinda hard to watch for me, reminded me of all the things my dad has said to me over the years. Always made to feel like im less of a male, like my heritage is dependent on acting a certain way based on his ideas, or that because i lean into my nerdy side its a bad thing. It took me becoming an adult to realize he was in the wrong but still get made to feel that standing up for myself is wrong. Thankfully my mom was a good support system and helped me learn to be myself. But those words still ring in the back of my head from time to time and make my social anxiety worse sometimes.
This is more common than you think and it's just so heartbreaking. That's why im promising to my future children that I'll give them unconditional love and care. Non of it should be conditional like what my parents did.
My dad used to and still does tell me that I am incapable of things. Can't throw a ball straight, can't do math, can't stay clean, etc. He also micromanaged every element of my life until my junior year of high school. Being overbearing and negative belongs on this list.
When I was a little kid and being a middle child with autism, I was constantly called fat or 'fatty' by my family (especially by my dad (who's also overweight himself), whom I blindly loved and looked up to, I never liked my mom because she was so strict, getting angry so easily and would sometimes yell at me, not to mention she used to give me small slaps on my cheek when I was a toddler.) because I was the only 'big one' while my other two siblings were skinny or normal weight.
I guess food and snacks was my only comfort, as well as drawing and playing alone with my favourite toys.
Once I drew a drawing of myself and my imaginary friend and I went to show it to my parents who were constantly argueing and yelling at eachothers, when I presented it to them, they began to become more angry and they continued with their bickering.
I was stood there for a moment before silently leaving them and went to the kitchen.. where I rip my drawing to pieces and thew them in the garbage.
i personally relate to the first one the most. i love my parents (and family) i do, but i can't deny because of them i also started to hate my body image and even... myself. the amount of times i heard what they said or "joked" about me and my appearance since i was a kid is... well.
i remember when my mother once asked me "why do you always look upset when we're shopping clothes?" and i just answered with "it bores me." when in truth, i wanted to cry so bad. i HATE my body. i hate it so much bc i know it wouldn't look good with any of those pretty clothes. and i'm not pretty, not skinny enough, not pale enough, not feminine enough for people.
years later, now i'm trying to love myself and appearance. my family still make jokes about my body sometimes, and yeah it still hurts a little. but it's ok, i'm used to it. all i can do right now is not to take those words into my heart anymore, and trying to grow into the best version of myself. not for them, but for me.
at least, i think my sister knows about this complex of mine. i don't remember when exactly but she never make those jokes anymore. she seems a bit careful or quiet every time my parents/family brings up this topic to my face.
I hear you, this exact thing happened to me a week ago when I went to the beach with my parents. I had to take courage to wear a bikini in front of them and I decided to so my sister and I could have some good memories before I went back to uni. I overheard them taking about my rolls, how much weight I had gained since I’d come home from uni, and I instantly exploded. Bearing in mind all the years of body shaming and no longer wanting my mom to get away with it, I told her back what she told me (cuz honestly I hate body shaming people, it’s the last thing I wanted to do but I had repeatedly told her to stop talking about my body and never listened, so I thought hurting her with the same words she tells me would make her stop), which just fuelled a huge fight in public. She claims that I have insulted her, (I hadn’t, I simply just said what she was saying to me back to her), that she was just joking and was never body shaming me. Everything that I had been bottling up for years came out that day: that I was self-conscious about my body, that I hate her walking in on me while I’m getting changed, that I have multiple ED’s because of her. She decided to play victim and act offended because I wouldn’t let her see my naked body. I asked her why she would take what I said as an insult if it was supposed to be a joke towards me. Never listened. She never intended to understand the reason behind my lash out and still constantly points out that I ‘insulted her’. The double standard smh 🙄
My father has done all of these things even though I am twenty years old now I will never forgive him or forget anything he has done to me and I have two older sisters ma'am.
While it's not exactly a toxic thing and my parents have been wonderful to me all throughout my life, there's always been a couple of things that feels like my concerns are being played down as me just overreacting and whether my opinions actually mean anything important: saying "Don't be silly" and talking over me when I have a moment to speak.
While sometimes yes, I do have moments where I overthink things like whether a restaurant we're going to has anything on the menu I'll actually find appetising, sometimes my worries are so important to me that when I actually express them, I'm told "Don't be silly" as though my big frets are just tiny things that aren't anything to worry about - my fear of flying is the biggest one, I'm always told "You shouldn't worry about it, air travel is the safest form of transport!" As though hurtling at hundreds of miles an hour thousands of feet above the ground, with barely any atmosphere outside and no parachutes to save the hundreds of passengers from a deadly fate, in a huge metal tube powered by gallons of combustible fuel is at all appealing after seeing multiple news stories where no survivors walked away from a mangled wreck. While the security and training that goes into ensuring its the safest form of transport, that still doesn't make me wave off the chances of disaster and the results of one, and I get a jovial "Well, we'll all be dead anyway, so we won't have anything to worry about!" for my concerns - it's been ten years since the last time I went abroad for a holiday and it's why I'm frankly in no mind to ever do so again.
The latter of my issues is, even though I'm a regularly quiet and introverted person, I get the feeling that people acknowledge it and use it as a way to be able to talk over me whenever I want to say something, then act surprised and assume I'm angry whenever I raise my voice just to be heard - it's why I wait until I have a moment to join in the conversation or address something rather than speak louder, which almost always in my opportunity to speak up diverting to the next topic before I can join in, so I feel I may as well not say anything due to the expectation of my opinion being taken seriously if I can be so easily ignored.
Again, my family has never been abusive towards me in the slightest, but these two things always irk me and leaves me feeling as though what I have to say doesn't matter unless I'm the one in control of the conversation, even when I'm reassured that they respect what I have to say.
The issue is, that depending on the situation things like if I find something appetizing on the menu in a restaurant are really not as important in general (while they might be important to you, of course). Making the money to be able to afford the restaurant, figuring out how to get there and whether they're even open, are more important things. Besides, our daughter is 13 and if she had these questions, I'd ask her to pick her phone and have a look at the menu online or even call them and ask them what they have if need be. She has all the means for it, because we ensured she does.
So far you're like the only one who mentioned having issues but not having bad parents. But yeah I have those same kind of things with the whole being talked over though that may be an adhd thing too. But sometimes my dad will say things that don't seem concerning but do effect me in the long run. Like him wanting me to grow out of anime or cartoons which he's gotten used to now but it still is in the back of my mind :( but I know he meant well by it.
It's downright sickening that anyone acts like this...
My parents used to do this, fights happened often and now I feel like I can't trust anyone, even my family, friends and even myself.
Thank you! We all love your vids!💕
I’ve been victim of all of theses, except the sibling one because I’m an only child.
I don’t even know what to think about my mom. She’s both very loving and very toxic
I can't watch this. It's so emotional 😢. I was emotionally and fiscally abused. It brings back memories.
Thank you for making this video. Because if I ever do become a parent one day in the future, I will make sure I don't do the same mistakes my mom did to me. I want to be the best mom I can be in the future. Every child deserves love and attention.
Oh god, that last one is too close too home. Especially with my dad.
My mom always starts with "Do you think they care?" Instead of saying that someone is better than me. A reminder of mine.
"If you ever do (fill in the blank) I will disown you." Another way of threating to abandon a child if they aren't perfect.
Thank you for these amazing videos ❤❤❤
My mom always told me that I was skinny, that I didn't listen, that i didn't pay attention. I couldn't control the circumstances of my premature birth, nor what I looked like, nor how I behave. It took me YEARS to embrace my complete, full self and developed my self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence.
And about that fake promises thing at the end, my father ALWAYS does this, and that's why I cut him off for days and weeks at a time. My mom divorced him because he kept lying all the time.
I overheard my mum saying to her friend a few years ago that her life was better 13 years ago. This was when I was 13. Loved that
Yes, thank you very much! I can identify with many of these examples! My parent who displays NPD traits frequently achieves self regulation at the expense of me and other family members!
The most hurtful words i heard from my mother at the age of 13 was "If i would have had a second chance to think if i should have kept you, i wouldnt think twice to not have you"
almost everyday after school i want to cry because my dad keeps bugging me about things that arent important and just today i cried what felt like 200000 times
The last one, especially use to happen to me, and it really did a number on me trusting people in general so I had to understand that that's just what it was and I needed to heal and just take it for what it is.😮🔥 (Dad, even though this happened, thank you for everything)
I have a rather complicated situation but ill try to simplify it as much as i can. I am an introverted person who loves to imaginate and talk to himself and draw aliens. And my story is as follows:
My dad loves me more than anything else in this world. We recently moved away from our home country for better education and he was the only one to make this happen. I love him and respect him as well but whenever he gets mad, regardless of its justification, he says toxic things like mocking my hobbies and behaviour or threatening to leave me alone. He doesn't respect my boundaries and forces me to go outside everyday and says that my introverted behavior is abnormal. And whenever i try to open up and talk about this with him, he just tries to win the argument by victimising himself and saying stuff like: "oh okay! I see who you are now. Im the worst parent ever!you win!" .My mother abandoned me a year ago because she wanted to take care of her old parents and she's not planning on coming here. My dads family isnt much help either as they treat me like I came down from the heavans because they think I got good grades from two years ago when in reality, my grades weren't the best and their false belief is the entire reason why im out of my home country. I wanted to ask who's in the wrong here?
I’m glad I stood up for myself before it became too late for me and my parents because when it gets too late it can be hard to truly forgive.
I felt true hurt when I found out these things I experienced as a kid was not a normal thing at all.
Yeah. It’s like a slap in the face. It feels so strange and just… sad
@@lindyloohoo the worst part was I would be so casual. "Hey mom use to do and say this lmao "
'Yo dude you okay....'
Thank You, i needed it, 'cause just today this happened. Thank You 'cause so many times others can't complain ❤.
Oh my gosh, I really feel that this video is so relatable. It’s crazy how cruel parents can be to their children. Anyway, really good and eye opening video, for sure, oh my goodness, just wow. It just honestly, really makes me think that some parents don’t deserve to have children. So heartbreaking but anyway, I very much enjoyed this video because it is so true. Thank you so much, Psych2go!! 😢💔😢💔😊❤️💕
Thank you for the impactful message
One of the worst thing that I was told: Was if i didn't change my behavior that my mum would put me in a boarding school, when I needed her the most because i was bullied at school and at home because of my autism. When I finally told my mom how she made me feel after years of avoiding and ignoring her, I left her in tears without saying a word and drove off. Our relationship is better now, but it will never be real close as she still has some toxic ways of talking,.(she still thinks sometimes that I should be a mini version of her, while i have my dads character) . But at the end, it made me stronger for coming up for myself.
My mum once said I was growing a belly I still look in the mirror and rember that the constant comments from my family like ‘we all know you like your food ‘ I’m so sorry that so many people have to relate to these
What bothered me was when I was told in high school 'to act my age' especially during high school when kids my age party and such which they don't want...
As a perosn who has gone through this since I was 7, I really hope no one else has to go through the same thing. Thank you so much for raising awareness on this topic P2G 💗
This video is spot on!!! My parents did all this 2 me , and I did grow up with many many issues that I still suffer from today , 😢
Pretty much the parents are unhappy about the way their lives turned out and feel they are in the right for their actions by blaming their own parents for not loving them enough.
Wow. I have a specific memory for each talking point. It's strange how I can vividly remember something 3 decades later, but can barely remember anything in my current life.
Thank you for all of the informational videos.
thank you for your support!
Really needed onee ❤
Damn that hurts.
I do'nt wanna say my parents were toxic, I mean it is my parents after all. But that hits so close to home, sometimes I wonder if they are not partially responsible of my current predicament.
I'm pretty sure my mom did all that of these when I was a kid. I'm 50 years old now and still dealing with the issues from my childhood.
I hope anyone else who has gone through a similar upbringing can get over most of it and not continue the cycle with their own children
Facts. A lot of parents don't deserve thejr kids. Take care💖
nice video 👍 and ive been thinking about a terraria themed video not demanding but it would sound great because alot of the npcs have different characteristics, Would fit a personality video.
my parents are toxic, have mentally and physically hurt me before, and this year I finally told my teacher about them. still doubting whether I did the right thing tho, because they can be really nice, so idk if I should hv gone so far
Yep, 💔 I had to reparent myself again and reprogram my mind. I feel compassion and empathy towards them they didn't know better but we know now and we need to break the cycle 🌱💚🤎
My parents always make fake promises. Now every time someone promises something I don’t know to believe it
Sending hugs to everyone who went through this ❤
I like this awareness video. Very good. Thank you
8/8 (I'm 17 in a 2 weeks)
It feels like sad tbh. I feel like I have never been loved or take care of. I feel like I'm in a cage. I tried to be mentally strong but I cannot. I feel ugly on the outside and I think I will rot myself inside soon too. Will I be ever be loved ? Will I be accepted ? These are the questions that ring on my head everyday. I've always put my needs and happiness behind Everyone yet they want me to live for "their" happiness and expectations ? Will the suffering ever end ? Will I be Happy ? Never asked for too much. Is it that hard ? Parents ? I see no light ahead.
8/8. too. i feel like we should prioritize our happiness before theirs, and if they don't respect that then they don't really love you and thus you shouldn't love them. as hard as that sounds i think it's the only right move
Teenage years suck. I promise you things will get better. I ran away a bunch as a teen because my mom was so toxic. It took me so long to become happy, but i finally am. Hang in there. Find things outside of home that make life worthwhile
I know my words seem empty, but seeing people so upset and in a similar place i was at that age hurts so bad
Please please hang on. People do love and care about you.
Im 25 now, and SO much happier. I can be myself and make my own choices. Life feels worth living. Please hold on
@@lindyloohoo we will, thanks for the kind words and wise advice, i really want to become like you one day, just happy and free
@@lindyloohoo I'm 19 btw entering the young adult territory
It wasn’t really my parents that did any of these, but rather my cousins aunts and uncles that I was raised around. I’m just now starting to unpack all of the abuse I suffered, both physically and mentally, by my extended family. I have a very large family compared to most, so it was kinda what was done, was everyone was around the younger generations. I was the oldest of my generation of cousins, so I was their caretaker. I grew to understand why my older sister was always annoyed with me-When you’re the older one, even if you’re 4 and the others are 2 and 3, you’re gonna get the brunt of the abuse just because you’re “older” and therefore somehow magically psychic to know what your 4 younger cousins are doing. For so many years I protected and essentially raised my younger cousins, it’s just kind of what our family did. My parents were the complete opposite of everyone (loving, wants to talk to their kids instead of beating them like my aunts and uncles) so it was really weird coming home to a loving inner family, then the next day going to your cousins house where it’s filled with alcohol, Jesus, beatings and screaming.
thanks for uploading this! im only 12 and my parents have gotten much nicer, but all the way from when i was growing up from when i was 6 to 11 years old, my parents have been like this... everything in the video was super relatable and i cried watching this. im not sure who to talk about this to but i'm just trying to fix myself right now :) (i dont blame my parents though, they grew up in a different time.)
I’ve been through these things unfortunately. It did make me feel like a burden to my parents and they don’t see me for who I am. But later, they said they didn’t mean to do those to me. It’s still intergraded in my head, but I’m trying overcome it. People should think twice before having children. Or better yet, learn how to actually love them.
A parent has done a lot of (good) life events when they were half my age. I'm almost too late or too old to do these things. I often get chewed about not achieving those goals at my current age, comparing to their age, and saying my life is mediocre.
I have depression and anxiety, and that made me feel worse about myself.
I remember I was building a bed from ikea(btw this was in 2023 sep 11)about building the bird I just hear stuff like your legs are weak you can’t crouch long enough to screw in the screws you don’t exercise I was just goofing around while my brother was screwing screws in, my dad just yelled at me for not doing anything and stuff like “when I was your age I was a entrepreneur”. Like if I’m not doing anything tell me about it don’t just yell at me, If I don’t do it next time maybe just choose to shout or don’t. This was a story I just wanted to share
I once was in a one day summer camp as an adult for children.
And there was one child a bit louder. And I told him, if he tries to be as quiet as he can, he'll get some sweets. He answered.... ok, but I will not keep my word because grown ups never do this.
I felt so sorry for him. And i made 1000% sure that I didn't forget. And I would have gone to the next supermarket to buy sweets only that he can see that some adults will keep their word.
A very wonderful topic Many parents do these things and they hurt the child and lose his self-confidence and he thinks I am not wanted, this is not good also the child does not distinguish when he grows up, and generalizes this experience to society, parents should embrace their children and love them for free, the worst thing ever comparing the child to his sisters because it spoils the relationship between them,
just explained my whole life....
I relate alot to this video, my parents are toxic the don't let me feel other emotions, when I cry, they get mad, when I'm frowny, they get mad, they always compare me with my cousins, they never give me privacy, I hate telling them anything, they never keep their promises, and my father calls me trash when I don't smile, I was called an old hag at the age of 10 because my mom thinks at that age a girl child is supposed to do most of the house work, I don't have the freedom to go out, at a young age my parents watched a traumatizing show, that made me get so scared that now I can't go anywhere outside by my own, I am pressured to be best at studies and the house works, my aunts come to my house and say that I'm old enough to do all the house work and if I don't then tey will get me married even though I just turned 14, I am told that I don't look good, I eat too much, I don't eat enough, They get mad at me for having anger issues even though they are the reason, I hate living here,I'm thinking to complete 10th garde gere and then go somewhere else, I can say that I'm going for better studies but the actual reason is just to be away from my family, this reminds me of that time when I said to my father that I wanna go to a hostel and he got mad that I always want to go away from the house
Even as an Aunt I try to stay mindful of my words when talking to my nieces. I want them to see how to be encouraging to others.
I wish I had different parents.
I nearly cried watching this cause all of this made me think of my mother.
same here, stay strong you got this 🩵
I was adopted by a family and grew up with this toxic relationship with my adopted parents, it hurts to feel like this with my trauma life.
Just realized my father does all of these except number 7, but I have already made up my mind a long time ago that I won't contact him when I'll get my own apartment
Number 7…oof.I felt that.mine actually would drive away with no way to contact them and return hours later,when I got older they would threaten su!c!d3. As a result I’ve already made peace with them not being here and no longer have a loving connection with any human being.the only things I can love truly are animals,my pets.